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we love you ymc

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wanna burn down ymc (11)

mandu: hi so can someone tell minhyun hyung to stop calling me cute ._.

gallyang: nooo whyyyy

yoonjumma: jaehwan wdym your hella cute

chamsae: *you're

yoonjumma: ugh

mandu: mood ^

mandu: no but actually tho

mandu: i wanted a cool suave image coming into this bitch and now look what happened :(

tteongwu: hate to break it to you

tteongwu: but

tteongwu: you will never reach my level of suave

mandu: should you. even. be. talking???? ? ??

mandu: did you forget when joongwan hyung threw you into the snow and you screamed like a bitch

tteongwu: ugh don’t remind me

tteongwu: i swear that house was cursed I kept losing at everything???

nielmoyed: hyung i think you just suck

tteongwu: biTCH

the better pink sausage: jaehwan hyung dont worry

the better pink sausage: i'm still the cutest so

pearjin: ummMMMMM?????

pearjin: jihoon in case you forgot

pearjin: a bae jinyoung exists and he's hella cute

the better pink sausage: who

linlin: haha

mandu: BACK TO ME AHEM THANK YOU ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

cloudy by yui: jaehwan it's hard to take you seriously when you use them hella kawaii emoticons

gallyang: right? :D

mandu: HYUNG SHUT

gallyang: :)

tteongwu: ok but have you MET maknae line

tteongwu: linlin and hwihwi are the cutest babies and we must protecc

linlin: aw hyung

the better pink sausage: uhhhHHHH I THINK YOUR MISSING SOMEONE IN THAT LINE

chamsae: *you're

the better pink sausage: WOOJIN I'M GONNA EVISCERATE YOUR ASS

chamsae: hard pass

hwihwi: shut up hyung if we included you we have to include woojin and jinyoung too

hwihwi: and like

hwihwi: have you seen them

chamsae: EXCU sE ME

pearjin: yeah daehwi how could you i’ve been nothing but nicE?

nielmoyed: babe weren’t you trying to be more manly this year or something

cloudy by yui: gross

the better pink sausage:

tteongwu: yeah jihoonie how’s that working out for you

pearjin: rmb when jihoon said he’d leave jeojang in 2017

pearjin: i swear you’ve done it at LEAST three (3) times on camera

the better pink sausage: daniel help

nielmoyed: uh

nielmoyed: stop being mean to jihoon please and thank you

the better pink sausage: ……my knight in shining armor

yoonjumma: omg jaehwan is lifting weights

cloudy by yui: read: he’s /trying/ to lift weights

cloudy by yui: oh nvm he gave up lmao

cloudy by yui: …is he crying.

gallyang: i TOLD him to stretch first but did he listen

tteongwu: why are you even trying so hard there’s nothing wrong with being cute?

mandu: it’s calleD IMAGE YOU BUTT

mandu: i dont wanna just be called cute ):

mandu: look at jihoon

mandu: see how hard he has to try to not be cute?

mandu: he’s doing a horrible job but hey the man’s trying

the better pink sausage: hyung go choke thx

gallyang: jaehwan, true fans will know that you’re not just cute

gallyang: same with you, jihoon

gallyang:

gallyang: i think you know this already but w/e i’ll say it again

gallyang: true fans will know that you’re more than your image and they’ll love you no matter what you are so let’s move on from this and i’ll stop calling you cute if it bothers you that much

gallyang: okay?

yoonjumma: …wow

nielmoyed: see this just proves that if jisung hyung were to catch on fire or whatever we’d be okay because we have a minhyun

yoonjumma: daniel wtf

mandu: hyung that’s really nice of you to say

mandu: and you don’t have to stop, i don’t mind it /that/ much

mandu: i guess it’s just a dumb complex i have

gallyang: hey don’t beat yourself up, we all have them

gallyang: jonghyunie has this complex about his waist being too small

gallyang: but we still love him for it

tteongwu: TELL JONGHYUN I S AID HI

gallyang: seongwoo you can tell him yourself?

tteongwu: ok but do you know how awk it is to just message hi out of nowhere

chamsae: wait i do that to donghyun and youngmin hyungs all the time tho

hwihwi: this is why they like me better

chamsae: theY DO NOT

hwihwi: …sure, jan

tteongwu: i wished him good luck with the nu’est w concert and he left me on read

nielmoyed: i mean he left me on read too so like

the better pink sausage: daniel babe can you please get off your phone and come cuddle me thx

cloudy by yui: gross

cloudy by yui: miss me with that sappy shit

cloudy by yui: i thot y’all would be less gross by now but hahhh i played myself welp

gallyang: let them be happy hyung

gallyang: perhaps one day you’ll get to experience the wonders of love and affection for yourself

gallyang: but until then

tteongwu: asdf;asl did minhyunie just do thatTM

cloudy by yui: minhyun pls you have your own boytoy so ofc you’re gonna side with nielwink

gallyang:

linlin: boytoy?

chamsae: omg

yoonjumma: guanlin avert your eyes

mandu: OMG MINHYUN’S EARS ARE RED EVERYONE HIDE

tteongwu: #yikes

gallyang: call jonghyun a boytoy one more time and i will castrate you in your sleep

cloudy by yui: jfc you KNOW i didn’t mean it like that

pearjin: y’all i’m still hella salty we couldn’t go see nu’est w :(((

gallyang:

chamsae: LOL i can /hear/ minhyun hyung seething

pearjin: like?? love paint is my jam

tteongwu: #lookdeservedbetter

the better pink sausage: daniel says climax being slept on is the crime of the century and tbh he’s right

tteongwu: no one asked for this domestic au shit

hwihwi: climax is gold i agree

the better pink sausage: shut up hyung at least it’s not the fifty shades of grey au

pearjin:

chamsae:

tteongwu:

yoonjumma:

mandu: i think minhyun passed out

the better pink sausage: daNIEL OMSLAFJSD

hwihwi: hey sungwoon hyung do you have room for one more?

cloudy by yui: you can sleep in minhyun’s bed

hwihwi: great thanks

pearjin: can i come too

tteongwu: wow you fakes leaving me with the kinky couple

tteongwu: see if i buy chicken for you ever again

hwihwi: worth_it.mp3

Chapter Text

bnm boys (4)

woojin: donghyun hyung who do you like more me or daehwi?

donghyun: i like you both the same?

woojin: S U S

youngmin: what’s happening

woojin: youngmin hyung who do you like more me or daehwi?

daehwi: do you /really/ think they’d say that they like you less in this chat  

youngmin: i like woojin more

daehwi: woW OKAY MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE

daehwi: YOUNGMIN HYUNG HOW COULD YOU HURT ME LIKE DIS

youngmin: i’ve known woojin longer

donghyun: hyung you can’t just play favorites that’s not fair

donghyun: but if anyone asks he likes me more than both of you lmao

youngmin: … sure

donghyun: wow

donghyun: literally so rude

daehwi: btw woojin won’t stop screeching about how youngmin hyung APPARENTLY likes him more and jihoon looks 200% done with him

daehwi: as am i

youngmin: daehwi i love you

daehwi: I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR LIES ANYMORE HYUNG

daehwi: i can’t believe my own FAMILY would betray me like this

donghyun: sewoon and gwanghyun say hi btw

youngmin: daehwi, sewoon says he likes you more than woojin

woojin: sewoon hyung why

donghyun: oh :)

donghyun: would you look at that :)

donghyun: children it seems that your father has abandoned me for sewoon :)))

donghyun: that snake

daehwi: who

daehwi: i only know of kang dongho our lord and savior

donghyun: omg

youngmin: donghyun are you serious sewoon was asking about the choreo for our song

donghyun: mhmm sure.

woojin: i love how periods are the universal sign of “i’m done with you”

daehwi: ikr.

woojin:

***

seongwoo has added jonghyun, dongho, minki, minhyun, youngmin

seongwoo renamed the group 95’s only

minhyun: why

seongwoo: because we’re young and glorious

jonghyun: wait

jonghyun has added aron

aron: ?

seongwoo: ???

jonghyun: seongwoo i will break your arm if you leave out our precious aron hyung

jonghyun: he might be old but he’s an honorary 95-liner and we love him

aron: yay

youngmin: can we talk about how jonghyun threatened to break off seongwoo’s arm

youngmin: like

youngmin: das cute

minhyun: don’t insult my baby you alpaca

youngmin: i called him cute tho?

minhyun: jonghyun is stronger than he looks

minki: and mnet’s editing of dongho was fair

jonghyun: HE Y

dongho: what

seongwoo: DONGHO IT’S BEEN A MINUTE

dongho: why was this necessary

seongwoo: because my mom says i need friends my own age, patricia

aron: this group is literally nu’est plus youngmin and seongwoo

youngmin: don’t you mean

youngmin: nu’est w plus minhyun youngmin and seongwoo

minki: shots fired

minhyun: youngmin :)))

jonghyun: i just realized we have two youngmins in this chat

aron changed his nickname to youngmin 1

youngmin 1 changed youngmin’s nickname to youngmin 2

youngmin 2: um

youngmin 1: i’m older so ha

seongwoo: jonghyun why do you keep leaving me on read i thought we were bros

jonghyun:

minki: don’t take it personally he leaves me on read too

dongho: same

jonghyun: seongwoo i’m starting to think you made this group to attack me and i’m not okay with this

seongwoo: I JUST WANT A  HI BACK

youngmin 1: tbh i bet he doesn’t leave minhyun on read

minhyun: he does

youngmin 2: oh no baby what is you doing

seongwoo: oh tea?

jonghyun: minhyunie pls

minki: can we just accept that jonghyun sucks at texting

jonghyun: i just prefer talking in person okay

seongwoo: CALL ME MOAR

youngmin 2: /call me baby/

minhyun: please don’t call him baby

jonghyun: seongwoo i can barely find time to call minhyun when would i find time to talk to you

dongho: don’t listen to him

dongho: when he’s not working he locks himself in his room and watches anime

minki: or he calls minhyun

minki: and gets sent to voicemail

minki: i overheard him leaving a message once and it was so cringey i wanted to combust

jonghyun:

minhyun: i love all your messages jjuyah <3

youngmin 1: *screams bloody murder*

seongwoo: jjuyah?

jonghyun: please

dongho: LMAO i just walked into jonghyun’s room and he’s blushing like crazy

minhyun: TAKE A PICTURE AND SEND IT TO ME

jonghyun: dongho if you come anywhere near me i’ll kick you in the nutsack

minki: dongho how much do you want kids in the future

dongho: uh

seongwoo: so does jjuyah turn you on or ?? ?

jonghyun: ……………………………

seongwoo: not denying it eh? ;)

seongwoo: OMG MINHYUN CAME INTO THE DORM AND THREW A PILLOW AT ME??? THAT RUDE BIH

jonghyun: minhyunie do it again

seongwoo: LASDJF;ASL

youngmin 2: rip seongwoo

youngmin 2: death by 2hyun

***

the better dorm (6)

jeojang who? idk her: can someone tell me why minhyun hyung just bust into our dorm with throw pillows

baegels: i think seongwoo hyung is dying

time of dae-hwi: good

danielmnop: what is minhyun doing o_O

jeojang who? idk her: whatever it is i approve

the responsible one: HEL P AHHAHHHHHAH

weewoojin: why are you running

weewoojin: wHy aRe YoU rUnNiNg

danielmnop: i saw minhyun hyung walk by my room with fury in his eyes

danielmnop: i’m scared

danielmnop: jihoon i’m sleeping with you tonight

jeojang who? idk her: k

time of dae-hwi: why even bother telling him you always sleep together

jeojang who? idk her: um NOT TRUE

danielmnop: yeah remember when i was sick

danielmnop: and jihoon slept with guanlin during that time?

danielmnop: those were dark times

jeojang who? idk her: you make me sound like a ho we literally just slept D:

weewoojin: and then daniel hyung got better and now we’re all back to suffering

jeojang who? idk her: is minhyun still here

baegels: nah he left but seongwoo hyung is in my room atm

baegels: he won’t leave

baegels: help

time of dae-hwi: is he okay

baegels: he’s doing that crazy laugh again and i’m mildly terrified

jeojang who? idk her: welp have fun

the responsible one: i’m alive y’all thanks for asking

danielmnop: who made you the responsible one

the responsible one: idk jisung hyung i guess

time of dae-hwi: like it means anything it’s not like seongwoo hyung can tell us what to do

baegels: true we’re wild y’all

jeojang who? idk her: jinyoung pls we are as wild as clams

weewoojin: hey i’ve met some really crazy clams back in my day

the responsible one: “in my day” woojin pls you’re like 5

jeojang who? idk her: wait seongwoo hyung why was minhyun hyung being aggro

the responsible one: oh

the responsible one: well

the responsible one: i may or may not have accidentally revealed one of his kinks to our group chat

danielmnop: is this like a nsfw chat because i want in

weewoojin: same

the responsible one: first of all woojin no and second of all it’s a 95-liners only chat sry :\\\

danielmnop: okay but i’m practically 95-line

the responsible one: no? you’re not?

danielmnop: minhyun hyung says i don’t have to call him hyung so there

the responsible one: well as president of the 95’s only club i say you are banned from joining so suck it up

danielmnop: :(

weewoojin: youngmin hyung would let me join

the responsible one: yeah well he’s not the president of the 95’s only club

the responsible one: he’s not even the president of the youngmin club

the responsible one: rip youngmin 2

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

yoonjumma: minhyun you good?

tteongwu: oh sure ask the person who ATTACKED me if he’s fine

gallyang: peachy

mandu: how to live: stay away from jonghyun

tteongwu: wth jaehwan you weren’t even there tf

cloudy by yui: well to be fair

cloudy by yui: minhyun only ever gets mad if we 1) forget to clean up or 2) bring up jonghyun

cloudy by yui: and idk bout y’all but i cleaned my room last night

linlin: shoot gotta do that now

linlin: thanks for reminding me hyung! :D

cloudy by yui: yw kid

yoonjumma: why can’t you all be pure and cute like guanlin

hwihwi: because guanlin is an angel from heaven above

hwihwi: us mere mortals cannot compare

chamsae: and jihoon is the demon who tempts us all into eternal sin

the better pink sausage: why am /i/ the demon

the better pink sausage: if anything daniel is the demon

tteongwu: oh sweetie i’m sure he is ;)

the better pink sausage: bye

nielmoyed: wait why

pearjin: has anyone seen my night cream

hwihwi: what’s it look like

the better pink sausage: daniel lures you in with his cuteness and charm right

pearjin: the innisfree one? the one we advertise for? ???

hwihwi: omg chill i was just asking

the better pink sausage: and you think he’s all innocent and shit

pearjin: what type of models would we be if we didn’t

pearjin: actually

pearjin: use the products we endorse?

the better pink sausage: but then once he ropes you in it’s like

linlin: jaehwan hyung i found your phone charger

tteongwu: “ropes” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

the better pink sausage: wow what have i gotten myself into i bathe in sin hello

cloudy by yui: i have no idea what’s going on

gallyang: well to be fair we had that cf with vita500

yoonjumma: sungwoon same

nielmoyed: … i can’t tell if you were trying to compliment me or not

hwihwi: ugh we don’t talk about that

mandu: i thought it tasted fine tho?

the better pink sausage: seongwoo hyung if you could kindly tape your mouth shut

mandu: and yay thanks guanlin

tteongwu: :))))

gallyang: well jaehwan some of us have more refined palates

mandu: no need to be rude yeesh

cloudy by yui: THIS LAG HE LP

gallyang: jinyoung just use my night cream for tonight

yoonjumma: i gave up a long time ago

pearjin: yay thanks minhyun hyung!

gallyang: i’ll run up and give it to you now

nielmoyed: can you believe minhyun and jinyoung invented father-son relationships

tteongwu: get you a dad like minhyun

Chapter Text

the better dorm (6)

baegels: wait

baegels: i have a question

baegels: jihoon hyung how do you come up with all them catchphrases

time of dae-hwi: are you trying to dethrone the great jihoon from his aegyo throne

baegels: shush you i’m gonna sit on my own damn throne

the responsible one: jinyoung king of the pinheads

baegels: you know what hyung

baegels: i hope you burn yourself with your hairdryer

weewoojin: …that was the best you could come up with?

the responsible one: yeah :\\\\\ i’m not feeling that threatened right now :\\\\\

baegels: i’m gonna destroy your seal hat

the responsible one: LEAVE SNOWNABLE ALONE YOU BITC H

time of dae-hwi: omg it has a name

time of dae-hwi: you’re officially a dad now congrats

weewoojin: find someone who looks at you the way seongwoo hyung looks at snownable

the responsible one: jinyoung i will viciously end your career if you lay a finger on snownable

the responsible one: you think i won’t

the responsible one: OOOH HO HO YOU THOT

time of dae-hwi changed the responsible one’s nickname to snownable’s guardian

weewoojin: yay the façade has been broken

baegels: the little squiggle under the c seems so extra? ??

weewoojin: it’s called autocorrect you dweeb

time of dae-hwi: where nielwink at

snownable’s guardian: probably making out or whatever

weewoojin: …i hope it’s not the “or whatever” part

baegels: THEY’RE GROSS EITHER WAY

jeojang who? idk her: shut up ugly

weewoojin: well well look who finally decided to stop being gross

time of dae-hwi: is daniel with you

jeojang who? idk her: yeah he’s lying on my lap

snownable’s guardian: *vomits* brb gotta clean up all this sugar

weewoojin: *mumbles* it’s not sugar i mean what

jeojang who? idk her: btw screw you hyung we weren’t making out we were gaming

jeojang who? idk her: but thanks for the idea ;)

weewoojin: nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

baegels: why

jeojang who? idk her: btw hyung daniel has your seal hat

snownable’s guardian: YOU KIDNAPPED SNOWNABLE ?? ? ?

time of dae-hwi: oh no

jeojang who? idk her: he looks so cute awwwwwweeeee

baegels: jihoon hyung: <insert my biggest u w u ever>

jeojang who? idk her: daniel’s squeezing the flaps and it’s waving at me and it’s the most precious thing in the world wow i’m in love

snownable’s guardian: GE T YOUR SLIMY PAWS OFF  OF MY SNOWNABLE YOU WHORES

jeojang who? idk her: sorry hyung daniel kissed me and i blanked out what were you saying

snownable’s guardian: SADJF;SLK FUC K YOU DEMONS ARE GONNA CORRUPT MY BABY

weewoojin: rip snownable’s innocence

time of dae-hwi: is seal counseling a thing

baegels: if it is seongwoo hyung is gonna need it

***

guanlin has added minhyun-hyung,jisung-hyung, sungwoon-hyung, jaehwan-hyung

guanlin renamed the group group chat (5)

jisung-hyung: i love how guanlin has hyung added to all of our names

minhyun-hyung: omg this is my third group chat i’m muting you all

jaehwan-hyung: minhyung why

sungwoon-hyung: minhyung

jaehwan-hyung: i was lazy let me live

jisung-hyung changed his nickname to penguin leader

sungwoon-hyung: if you wanted people to let that go, you’re not doing a good job

penguin leader: well if you can’t beat them join them right

sungwoon-hyung: i guess

jaehwan-hyung changed his nickname to try me ariana

guanlin: omg

sungwoon-hyung changed his nickname to snow flower

try me ariana: don’t you mean s-s-s-snow f-f-f-flower

snow flower: i hate hyphens

penguin leader changed guanlin’s nickname to deserves better

deserves better: hyung why

penguin leader: because i have to express my disappointment at our lovely agency somehow

penguin leader: and you absolutely should not have to settle for this foolery D<

snow flower: let it be known that jisung hyung is also the leader of the guanlin protection squad

deserves better: aw thanks hyung <3

try me ariana changed minhyun-hyung’s nickname to foxy mama

foxy mama: oh my god

snow flower: LMAO

foxy mama changed his nickname to i need jonghyun

try me ariana: aww :(((

i need jonghyun: sleep with one eye open jaehwan

snow flower: wait guanlin why did you make this group chat

deserves better: jihoon hyung said the others have their own group chat so i thought it was only fair

i need jonghyun: but like

i need jonghyun: what are we even gonna talk about

snow flower: we can talk about **********  *****

penguin leader: sungwoon no we have a child present

try me ariana: how the frickity frackle did you understand that

penguin leader: it’s called intuition my dear jaehwan

penguin leader: i can guess

snow flower: fine then we can talk about *******  *****

deserves better: …is the second word the same

snow flower: ah our baby linlin is very smart indeed

deserves better: lol thanks but that was a guess and i still have no idea what that’s supposed to be

i need jonghyun: take the compliment guanlin

i need jonghyun: sungwoon gives them as much as his grandfather is satisfied with his love life

snow flower: …minhyun why

penguin leader: actually tho

penguin leader: sungwoon when are you getting married

try me ariana: ooh am i invited

try me ariana: can i sing at your wedding

snow flower: shut

try me ariana: are we assuming sungwoon hyung is getting married before our penguin leader

penguin leader:

snow flower: jisung hyung if you get married can i be your best man

i need jonghyun: let’s be real it’ll most likely be daniel

snow flower: ugh daniel fight me

try me ariana: he doesn’t need to fight you

try me ariana: jisung will gladly fight you himself

penguin leader: …sorry sungwoon it’s true

snow flower: ugh fine then you can’t be my best man either

snow flower: i’ll just default back to my lame best friend taehyun

snow flower: he’ll probably cry and ruin his speech but whatever

deserves better: okay but you’re still inviting all of us right hyung?

i need jonghyun: guanlin pls this is all hypothetical

i need jonghyun: sungwoon isn’t even in a relationship how can he get married

try me ariana: have you never heard of a shotgun wedding

i need jonghyun: yea but like

i need jonghyun: none of us even have the time to [duck noises]

deserves better: ??????

penguin leader: jfc

try me ariana: *whispers* maybe that’s why jonghyun is all moody

i need jonghyun: SAY THAT AGAIN TO MY FACE YOU DUMPLING BITCH

snow flower: lol also despite what you might think i actually treasure getting to know someone first before engaging in [duck noises]

deserves better: quack quack?

penguin leader: GUANLIN NO PRESERVE THY PURITY

deserves better: i’m not sure why you all are “censoring” yourself i know what you’re talking about

try me ariana: fuck

deserves better: hyungs i know what dating is i’m not dumb

i need jonghyun:

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

pearjin: jihoon you never answered my question

the better pink sausage: huh

pearjin: how do you come up with all the cute catchphrases

the better pink sausage: so you admit they’re cute :D

nielmoyed: jihoon everything you do is cute

chamsae: B I A S ? ?? ?

pearjin: yea yea w/e answer the question

the better pink sausage: damn okay

the better pink sausage: why tho

pearjin: oh my fuck

yoonjumma: LANGUAGE BAE JINYOUNG

hwihwi: jinyoung wants to dethrone you as aegyo king

pearjin: NOT TRUE

pearjin: DAEHWI YOU SNEK

hwihwi: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the better pink sausage: actually by all means go ahead

the better pink sausage: i need to shed off my image anyway

cloudy by yui: ha. good luck. with that.

gallyang: lol is jihoon ever gonna reveal his secret ways

gallyang: the world may never know

the better pink sausage: it’s not even that mindblowing lmao

the better pink sausage: i just…say random things to daniel and if he likes it i use it

yoonjumma:

pearjin:

chamsae: …that’s it?

mandu: wait but how is that effective daniel would like everything you say

gallyang: the boy laughs at everything under the sun so yeah i’m with jaehwan :\

nielmoyed: am i really that low of a standard

yoonjumma: yes

cloudy by yui: yes

nielmoyed: hyung you wound me

yoonjumma: sry i love you

cloudy by yui: i don’t

chamsae: i like how jihoon says he wants to get rid of his cute image by getting rid of jeojang

chamsae: but then he goes and makes another cute catchphrase like? ??

mandu: can we talk about how baby woojin impersonated you for april fool’s day

mandu: best april fool’s day prank everyone else go home

nielmoyed: my son did THAT

chamsae: honestly

chamsae: i ain’t even mad because he uploaded a bunch of pics from my fansites so like

chamsae: more people are looking at my beautiful face

yoonjumma: fuck i forgot to wish him a happy bday

pearjin: can you wish him happy bday from all of us so i don’t have to do it individually

linlin: ^ what he said

yoonjumma: no you lazy brats do it yourself

pearjin: ugh

cloudy by yui: wait

cloudy by yui: if woojin is daniel’s son

cloudy by yui: does that mean jihoon is woojin’s stepdad

the better pink sausage:

nielmoyed:

mandu: jihoon being a dad? inconceivable.

the better pink sausage: daniel what have you done

nielmoyed: okay to be fair

nielmoyed: woojin was my son before we started dating and like

nielmoyed: i’m not gonna disown my SON

chamsae: LOL is jihoon ready to be a parent

cloudy by yui: damn jihoon getting it on with a baby daddy

yoonjumma: they grow up so fast

the better pink sausage: i hate you all

linlin: guys where’s seongwoo hyung?

pearjin: he’s in my room again crying over snownable

gallyang: snownable?

hwihwi: the seal hat he got at the fansign

gallyang: oh

cloudy by yui: wait is he actually crying

pearjin: uh

pearjin: he’s making those keening noises like when ongnable died

nielmoyed: *shifts eyes to jisung hyung*

yoonjumma: okay but daniel pulled out ongnable’s intestines so he’s equally at fault

linlin: did you guys rip apart snownable too

pearjin: no nielwink just played with snownable and now seongwoo hyung is throwing a fit

gallyang: ah

gallyang: completely understandable

nielmoyed: hyung :((((

chamsae: poor snownable was only home for fifteen minutes and was already tainted by the likes of nielwink

the better pink sausage: omg it’s not like we [duck noises] while wearing the hat y’all need to chill

pearjin: ….well that’s an image i didn’t need

mandu: i will never look at snownable the same way

mandu: forever ruined by nielwink

nielmoyed: why does everyone hate us :(

tteongwu: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP YOU FUCKERS

tteongwu: i’m talking to you nielwink

tteongwu: you dare try and touch snownable one more time

tteongwu: and i will not hesitate to make your lives a living hell understood?

linlin: um does the rule apply to everyone or just nielwink

tteongwu: guanlin this doesn’t apply to you go be free my angel

linlin: yay i love you hyung <3

hwihwi: what about me

pearjin: same

tteongwu: …fine.

gallyang: lol so much drama over a hat

tteongwu: snownable is my baby and i will protect it with my life

tteongwu: I’M WATCHING YOU NIELWINK

tteongwu: where’d the demons go

chamsae: um

chamsae: hyung we may need to call an exorcist for our dorm

Chapter Text

wanna burn down ymc (11)

nielmoyed: hey guys

nielmoyed: guys

nielmoyed: guys

nielmoyed: guys

nielmoyed: gu y s

cloudy by yui: jesus what

nielmoyed: hi

cloudy by yui: i’m blocking you

nielmoyed: NOO SUNGWOON HYUNG COME BACK I LOVE YOU

the better pink sausage:

chamsae: lmao jihoonie is jelly again

cloudy by yui: daily reminder to listen to hotshot_jelly.mp3 kbye

nielmoyed: jihoon pls you know i love you the most right

yoonjumma: wow o k a y daniel after all i’ve done for you? ??

tteongwu: mood ^

gallyang: mood (2) ^

nielmoyed: shut up seongwoo you didn’t do shit

tteongwu: suddenly idk a daniel kang

tteongwu: i heard he’s a bitch

nielmoyed: and minhyun hyung you too? :(

gallyang: lmao nah i was trying to be hip

gallyang: i don’t need you

nielmoyed: HYUNG YOU HURT ME 8(

gallyang: psh i have jonghyun to shower my love and affection to

hwihwi: and jinyoung hyung

pearjin:

nielmoyed: anyway

nielmoyed: have you all been blessed by my sonTM

nielmoyed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVp5D1p4Agw

linlin: omg i saw “say something” and i thought it was the other song

hwihwi: our maknae is so cute~~~

hwihwi: not you guanlin

hwihwi: i mean you’re hella cute too but i’m talking about lee woojin the ultimate maknae

linlin: lol yeah i know no worries

mandu: yo they’re really good

mandu: jt who? i only know lee woojin and jung sagang

tteongwu: actually tho

tteongwu: i’ve never even heard the original whoops

cloudy by yui: lol i can’t take them seriously in those leather jackets

cloudy by yui: they’re too cute to be cool

nielmoyed: can you believe we’re seeing them grow up :’)

tteongwu: jihoon come collect your man before he cries all over my laptop

yoonjumma: kings of english i’m so proud :’)

mandu: yo daniel can i adopt woojin

nielmoyed: what

mandu: that harmony gave me so much life i’m in love ???

nielmoyed: no fuck you

nielmoyed: hands off my sonTM  

nielmoyed: or else :)

mandu: damn alright

gallyang: speaking of sons

chamsae: i knew jonghyun hyung was hiding something

gallyang:

the better pink sausage: LMAO WOOJIN OMG

tteongwu: minhyunie as a real dad can you imagine

hwihwi: jinyoung can

pearjin: uh i would very much like to be excluded from this narrative

gallyang: you guys suck

gallyang: also no y’all were like a trial run so my desire to have kids is miniscule

linlin: hyung :(

gallyang: BACK TO THE POINT

gallyang: seonho is having his solo debut and i want us all to support him

linlin: YES SEONHO THAT’S MY BOI  

gallyang: yeah like that

yoonjumma: omg he’s so young

yoonjumma: and already debuting

chamsae: lol a heavy sigh escapes our fearsome leader

mandu: so much is happening it’s like ? ??

mandu: ydpp is releasing a thing too

hwihwi: BNM REPRESENT

chamsae: W O O T

mandu: lol starship finally let gwanghyun out of the dungeon

yoonjumma: it’d be cool if we could collab with the others

cloudy by yui: we /did/ collab with them hyung

cloudy by yui: remember when we did nayana

yoonjumma: bye

the better pink sausage: how long before ymshit lets us do subunits

pearjin: omg quick what subunit would you be in go

tteongwu: i would be in the sexy subunit

chamsae: same

hwihwi: woojin please who lied to you

chamsae: uhh fuck you? i was the only other person who lifted up my shirt during burn it up so?

the better pink sausage: no you weren’t i did it too

chamsae: okay no jihoon you flashed that doesn’t count

nielmoyed: i still enjoyed it tho ;)

gallyang: good l o r d are you ever /not/ gross

nielmoyed: :D

yoonjumma: i would be in the vocal subunit probably

hwihwi: lol probably

hwihwi: same tho

mandu: can i be leader of the vocal subunit

cloudy by yui: um ? fight me jaehwan

mandu: you know what i will

mandu: let’s settle this like main vocals

linlin: ?

mandu: c l e o p a t r a

pearjin: does anyone have earplugs

the better pink sausage: can i have some too

nielmoyed: who do you think is gonna win

gallyang: my bet is on jaehwan

the better pink sausage: honestly who cares they’re both gonna be mains in their subunit jfc

tteongwu: jihoon what subunit would you be in

the better pink sausage: uh neither of those

linlin: we could have a dance subunit!

gallyang: oh my god but that would be nielwink and 2park in one

yoonjumma: lmao imagine the drama they’d never get anything done

tteongwu: i’d watch it

cloudy by yui: lol same

pearjin: imma make some popcorn brb

hwihwi: jinyoung hyung make me some too

the better pink sausage: honestly

the better pink sausage: fuck you all

***

minnie: jjuyah help

jjuyah: ?

minnie: sungwoon hyung and jaehwan are screaming and i wanna cut my ears off

jjuyah: lol why

minnie: the dweebs were talking about if wanna one had subunits and they’re trying to prove who would be leader of the vocal subunit

jjuyah: lol

minnie: i wanna cry

[read]

***

minhyun: is jonghyun with you

dongho: you know your boyfriend is an adult who is perfectly capable of handling himself

dongho: you don’t have to be so helicopter ? ??

minhyun: not to sound clingy

minhyun: but he’s the only one who can keep me sane while i live with these insufferable demons

dongho: lol that was so sweet i puked in my mouth

dongho: and don’t lie i know you love those “demons”

dongho: i bet they’re just loud right now and you’re having a rough night

minhyun:

dongho: got em

minhyun:

minhyun: okay but what is jjuyah doing

[read]

minhyun: DONGHO YOU BIH DON’T IGNORE ME

minhyun: D O N G H O E

minhyun: ugh i’m gonna steal all of the bread you bought from wolmido

minhyun: i’m not even gonna eat it

minhyun: i’ll feed it to the pigeons just to spite you

***

dongho: nice try minhyunie

dongho: aron already ate it all

dongho: which reminds me

dongho: i have to yell at him

***

group chat (5)

try me ariana: minhyun hyung locked himself in his room again :(

snow flower: i’m 99% sure he’s catching up with jonghyun it’s nothing new

penguin leader: sungwoon how is taehyun doing?

snow flower: ?? he’s fine

snow flower: i think

snow flower: why

penguin leader: well

penguin leader: uh

snow flower: ?

penguin leader: the whole thing with jbj

snow flower: oh

penguin leader: i just figured it’s probably hard on him that’s all

penguin leader: god i can’t believe they’re d********* this month fuck

try me ariana: omg hyung we all know about jbj you don’t have to censor it

penguin leader: ugh i know i’m sorry

penguin leader: it’s just that

penguin leader: thinking about it too much makes me think of our own ___ and then i get all sad and depressed

deserves better: aw hyung :( don’t be sad :(

snow flower: linlin is right we still have at least eight months left

penguin leader: i know but

penguin leader: we all know how fast they’re gonna go by

snow flower: that’s not something we can control

snow flower: look

snow flower: not to be super sappy

snow flower: but

snow flower: the only thing we can control is making these months count and having the best time of our lives while we can

snow flower: yeah we can hate on ymc and our shitty management

snow flower: and yeah not everything is wonderful all the time

snow flower: but i like to think that /usually/ the good outweighs the bad

snow flower: and i don’t wanna regret anything you know?

snow flower: because once this is all over who knows if we’ll be at the top again

deserves better: hyung :(((

snow flower: it’s the truth guanlin

snow flower: minhyun and i got a second chance to be here

snow flower: i honest to god think we must have done something right in our past lives to get it and i will never not be thankful for that

snow flower: jesus if i think too much about it i’ll cry so i WON’T

snow flower: but

snow flower: the same goes with taehyun

snow flower: and sanggyun

snow flower: i just wanna make the best memories to last a lifetime while i’m here

snow flower: and i know i don’t say it often but

snow flower: i’m really really happy that i get to make these memories with you guys

snow flower: like yeah i miss hotshot

snow flower: and i know minhyun misses the nu’est bros all the time

snow flower: but i know without a doubt that we’ll miss you all so damn much when we disband

snow flower: jesus yeah i don’t like that word ughhhhhh

snow flower: point is

snow flower: i know taehyun is probably thinking the same thing with jbj

snow flower: he’ll be fine

snow flower: he’s a strong hyung

snow flower: and i know we’re strong too

snow flower: ….

snow flower: guys?

snow flower: fuck i got carried away didn’t i

snow flower: omg did you die on me …

try me ariana: ughhhhh fuck you hyung for making me cry

snow flower: oh good whew

snow flower: lol sorry it’s soft hours and i’m already feeling fuzzy

snow flower: i’m sorry for making you sad :(

snow flower: …is jisung hyung okay

deserves better: he’s crying too :(((

snow flower: ah no hyung i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to make you cry …

snow flower: fuck now i feel bad

deserves better: he said it’s fine

deserves better: he just got emotional

deserves better: and that he just feels really sorry for jbj

snow flower: guanlin tell him to look on the bright side – they’re releasing a final album!

snow flower: fave pulled through and they can end on a high note!

deserves better: he says he’s happy

deserves better: and thankful

deserves better: he says he wishes it wasn’t so soon that’s all

snow flower: …yeah

snow flower: i feel that too

***

my niel: jihoon?

my niel: are you okay i heard you crying

my niel: please talk to me?

my niel: i’m worried

my hoonie: and here i thought i was a quiet crier

my niel: what happened

my niel: can i come to you

my hoonie: yes please

Chapter Text

“Jihoon?”

The smaller boy heard the door shut with a click, but made no effort to move. He felt the mattress dip and he scooted closer to the edge to make room.

“Jihoon.”

Daniel shuffled closer, tucking his legs under the blanket, worriedly looking over his boyfriend who was curled up in a ball, turned away, his face hidden away from him. Jihoon sniffled and his shaky breaths were an obvious indicator that he had been – was still – crying.

“Oh, babe, what happened?”

Daniel tentatively reached forward to place a hand on the younger’s shoulder. He was thankful that Jihoon didn’t try to push him away, but was a bit alarmed when Jihoon let out more soft sobs upon contact.

“Jihoonie?”

Jihoon inhaled and wiped at his eyes before turning towards Daniel. Even in the dark, Daniel could tell that Jihoon’s eyes were bloodshot, irritated from the tears and Jihoon’s fingers fiercely rubbing against them.

Daniel adjusted himself to lie next to the younger, leaning in so that their breaths mingled slightly, their eyes meeting as Daniel worriedly searched for the reasons why Jihoon seemed so distraught.

Jihoon moved closer, feeling the need for more of Daniel’s warmth and presence. Daniel obliged by wrapping an arm around Jihoon’s waist.

“Sorry.”

“No, hey, I’ve got you,” Daniel said, softly. “What’s wrong?”

Jihoon tightly clutched the fabric of Daniel’s shirt in his hands. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Daniel rested his chin gently on Jihoon’s head, whispering, “What brought this on? You’re not going to lose me.”

Jihoon sniffled. “What’s gonna happen after we disband?” Jihoon’s voice fell to an airy whisper, barely audible, terrified that just saying it out loud would bring the end of the year faster than ever.

There it was. The dreaded D word.

Daniel held the boy in his arms closer. “Nothing,” he said with a sad smile. “Nothing is gonna happen between us.”

Jihoon inhaled with a shaking breath. “How can you be so sure?”

And Daniel pondered for a moment because Jihoon was right to be doubtful. Hardly anything in this industry was guaranteed, let alone a blossoming relationship between two soon-to-be-again trainees from different companies.

Tragically terrible companies, at that.

Daniel felt a chill run through his body, suddenly scared that someone who deserved the world could possibly end up in the dungeon of Maroo, his shining spirit left to dim away into the shadows of being a has-been idol.

Kang Daniel wasn’t stupid. He knew Wanna One was one of the top groups right now. He knew that he and Jihoon were lucky enough to be among the more popular members.

But he also knew, and he knew that Jihoon knew, that once Wanna One was over, there was no guarantee that the momentum would carry them to stardom again. It was absolutely horrifying that so much potential, not just theirs, but everyone in Wanna One, had so many chances to be lost.

It was a hard truth to swallow for everyone involved.

And this was one of the reasons why the D word never came up. They all tried so hard to avoid talking about it. The uncertainty could crush them.

“Because we’ve made it this far.”

Jihoon remained quiet, so Daniel continued.

“Just look at our Minhyun-hyung, Jihoonie,” Daniel said. “We all saw how broken he was at the finale.”

Jihoon nodded. He had tried to comfort his precious Minhyun hyung that day, but he honestly didn’t think he did a good job. Minhyun was absolutely distraught at having to be separated from his brothers, and from Jonghyun. It was the first time he had ever seen Minhyun, proud, talented, beautiful Minhyun cry, his spirit shattered when none of the other Pledis trainees made it into the group.

How did he do it?

“And yet his relationship with Jonghyunie-hyung is as strong as ever,” Daniel said, his deep voice laden with warmth and admiration. “They still see each other every now and then, and I know they talk to each other whenever they get the chance. I trust that we’ll be just like them.”

Jihoon shut his eyes and nodded against Daniel’s chest, the small movements sending waves of affection through the older boy. “I want to believe that, too,” Jihoon said, muffled against Daniel’s soft sweetly-scented shirt.

“It’s just hard,” Jihoon sighed. “It’s so. Damn. Hard.”

Daniel pressed his lips to Jihoon’s crown, placing a soft kiss.

“I’m going to miss everyone. I’m going to miss you.”

Me too. Daniel thought.

I’ll miss you the most.

“I wish I could make it easier, Jihoon-ah,” he confessed, his own voice starting to crack and become watery. Damn it, he didn’t want to cry. Not when Jihoon needed him to be strong.

Jihoon pulled back just slightly, enough to stare up into Daniel’s eyes. He offered a faint smile, and leaned forward once more to kiss Daniel squarely on the lips.

“You do,” he said, with overwhelming sincerity. “Just by being here.”

If only time could stop for a little bit, Jihoon thought, he would stay in Daniel’s embrace for just a bit longer.

They’d be together for a little bit longer.

“Thank you…”

***

sungwoon: hey

taehyun: hey

taehyun: what’s up

sungwoon: just wanted to check up on you

taehyun: ?

taehyun: is everything okay

sungwoon: what

sungwoon: yeah i’m fine

sungwoon: but i’m asking about /you/

taehyun: i’m … fine ???

taehyun: seriously are you good

taehyun: who do i need to fight

sungwoon: NO HYUNG CHILL NOTHING’S WRONG

taehyun: sus

sungwoon: *sigh*

sungwoon: i was just wondering … how you were holding up

taehyun: oh about jbj?

sungwoon: yeah…

taehyun: well

taehyun: everyone’s just…hanging on

taehyun: i mean that’s all we really can do right?

taehyun: we all had our heart to hearts already lol

taehyun: the kids are taking it hard i can tell

taehyun: but they’re strong

taehyun: i know they’ll pull through

sungwoon:

taehyun: i’m assuming y’all had the talkTM?

sungwoon: kinda

sungwoon: in our group chat

sungwoon: not even with everyone it was just like hyung line with guanlin

sungwoon: idk everyone’s just kinda…down lately

sungwoon: i was just trying to be a good hyung and comfort them

sungwoon: but idk i think i made things worse ;~~~~;

sungwoon: i mean jisung hyung and guanlin were crying

sungwoon: and i’m pretty sure jihoon was crying when he left our dorm so like

sungwoon: yeah

sungwoon: it’s pretty blegh over here

taehyun: i see

taehyun: well um

taehyun: i don’t think anything i say will be super shocking

taehyun: we knew what we were getting into when we decided to do the whole p101 thing

taehyun: i know it’s a sucky feeling

taehyun: i’m sorry

sungwoon: it’s…whatever

sungwoon: it’s not like we can dwell on it for too long

sungwoon: i literally have a schedule in two hours and i should be catching up on sleep but um

sungwoon: fuck

taehyun: hey you wanna know something?

sungwoon: what

taehyun: k so like

taehyun: sometimes

taehyun: no actually a lot of the time

taehyun: i wish we didn’t get our hopes up

taehyun: we were so excited you know?

taehyun: we were almost positive that we would get that extension

taehyun: everyone was rooting for us right

taehyun: and then look what happened

taehyun: we all ended up getting hurt

taehyun: i felt so fucking guilty

taehyun: i cried in the bathroom when i found out

taehyun: yea i told you this

sungwoon: mhm

taehyun: and you know what i’m gonna say

taehyun: as the blunt bitch …

taehyun: we both knew wanna one was never meant to have an extension

sungwoon: yeah i know

taehyun: so in a way – and i know i sound like a heartless jerk – you guys at least know

taehyun: we didn’t … not for sure anyway

taehyun: and i wish we did

taehyun: it would hurt less

sungwoon: i know

sungwoon: i’m sorry :(

taehyun: and i’m even more worried for the others

taehyun: like yeah we have hotshot but what about donghan ? hyunbin? kenta?

taehyun: it honestly breaks my heart thinking about it for too long

sungwoon: yeah

sungwoon: ik the feel

sungwoon: i worry for the others too

sungwoon: it’s the uncertainty that kills me

sungwoon: i just worry that we’re all too busy to enjoy the present you know

sungwoon: we all just think of the next schedule

sungwoon: and our next stage

sungwoon: and we avoid talking about the future because

sungwoon: lol who wants to talk about that

taehyun: yeah

taehyun: it’s the same with us

sungwoon: blegh life

taehyun: yeah

taehyun: look i gotta go

taehyun: schedules lol what interesting timing

taehyun: but um

taehyun: hang in there okay?

sungwoon: of course

sungwoon: you too

taehyun: lmk if you need to vent or something later

sungwoon: yep

sungwoon: will do

taehyun: ttyl bitch <3 go sleep!

sungwoon: ugh gnite <3

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

mandu: so

mandu: ydpp did THAT

hwihwi: B N M REPRESENT

hwihwi: L O V E  I T

chamsae: can you believe the hyungs invented pepsi cf’s

mandu: honestly this was a pepsi cf disguised as a bop

gallyang: agreed

tteongwu: youngmin as lead vocal i am shooketh

gallyang: i thought he said he was main?

mandu: UHHH BUT DID YOUNGMIN HAVE THE HIGH NOTE AT THE END

mandu: i think NOT

tteongwu: damn okay

mandu: my boy my MAIN vocal JEONG SEWOON doing us howons proud

chamsae: find someone to rep you like jaehwan hyung reps sewoon hyung

hwihwi: oh i forgot to tell everyone that sewoon hyung likes me more than woojin hyung

hwihwi: that is all

chamsae: um?

chamsae: fuck you? ??

pearjin: i like how the mv was uploaded on three different accounts

linlin: guys! justin and jungjung hyung are debuting!

cloudy by yui: somebody help me our maknae has been screaming about it for the past three hours

cloudy by yui: save my ears

hwihwi: ahh yay!

hwihwi: i wish we could tell them congrats

yoonjumma: they really came a long way i’m proud of them :’)

chamsae: i could tell hyungseob to pass it on :D

yoonjumma: yes please do

tteongwu: everyone rejoice for we have our own messenger sparrow

hwihwi: omg i just found out they’re gonna have english names

hwihwi: jungjung who? i only know austin hyung

gallyang: oh my god

***

the better dorm (6)

snownable’s guardian: can somebody tell nielwink to HURRY THE FUCK UP

snownable’s guardian: how long have they been in there i neED TO SHOWER

weewoojin: whew good thing i showered first

baegels: same

time of dae-hwi: hyung you could probably go see if the others are done

time of dae-hwi: i’m sure the hyungs wouldn’t mind letting you use their water

snownable’s guardian: ugh but that requires more movement than i would like to exert

time of dae-hwi: hah

time of dae-hwi: suit yourself

snownable’s guardian: also that shower better be C L E A N when i step in there

snownable’s guardian: you hear me nielwink

snownable’s guardian: if y’all even T H I NK about doing the nasty

snownable’s guardian: *evil laughter*

weewoojin: ._.

baegels: have you guys noticed how seongwoo hyung never actually carries out his threats

baegels: like

baegels: i’d have reincarnated seven times by now if he actually followed through but welp

weewoojin: i’m more scared by his evil laughing

weewoojin: daehwi help

time of dae-hwi: did y’all hear something

danielmnop: don’t worry hyung we were innocent :)

snownable’s guardian: funny how i doN T BELIEVE YOU

danielmnop: no seriously

danielmnop: we didn’t taint your precious shower

danielmnop: all we did was use your shampoo

danielmnop: and maybe your conditioner

weewoojin: you know

weewoojin: i’m too used to their grossness that like

weewoojin: everything they say sounds wrong

weewoojin: noah fence hyung

danielmnop: :(

jeojang who? idk her: daniel don’t leave meeeeee

baegels:

time of dae-hwi: everyone savor this moment

time of dae-hwi: to your left you’ll see a needy jihoon

time of dae-hwi: quite rare to see one out in the wild

weewoojin: lol

jeojang who? idk her: daniel ~~~~~~~~~~~~

jeojang who? idk her: can i come with you

danielmnop: aww baby

danielmnop: i wish :(

baegels: k but this is getting too sappy 5 me i’m gonna go

weewoojin: lol

jeojang who? idk her: tell them they should add another wanna one member to the cast

jeojang who? idk her: preferably one named park jihoon

time of dae-hwi: not to break your heart but

time of dae-hwi: if anyone was gonna be added it would be seongwoo hyung

jeojang who? idk her: k but i would be a better fit

jeojang who? idk her: literally

jeojang who? idk her: seongwoo hyung’s bigass head couldn’t even fit into daniel’s bag

jeojang who? idk her: so there

baegels: jihoon has anyone ever told you how petty you are

jeojang who? idk her: why don’t you say it to my face you bagel faced bih

time of dae-hwi: OH M Y GOD HE ACTUALLY DID

weewoojin: jinyoung what have you done

weewoojin: you just unleashed velociraptor!jihoon now we’re all ded

weewoojin: oh nvm daniel caught him before he could go in for the kill

weewoojin: oh my god they’re being cute imma scream

time of dae-hwi: please don’t

snownable’s guardian: nielwink used up all my shampoo the fuckers

snownable’s guardian: no actually you know what they did

snownable’s guardian: they used up enough to leave me the TINIEST AMOUNT LEFT

snownable’s guardian: so i barely had anything to use and it was one of the least satisfying things ever

snownable’s guardian: and then i had to step out of the shower to find a new bottle

snownable’s guardian: WHILE I WAS WE T

snownable’s guardian: AND I ALMOST TRIPPED

snownable’s guardian: ugh  

snownable’s guardian: i swear this was all a murder plot to make me bash my head on the sink smh

snownable’s guardian: btw whoever restocks the shampoo bottles under the sink god bless you

snownable’s guardian: but ugh i hate them

snownable’s guardian: where’d they go

weewoojin: daniel went to his dotb thing

weewoojin: and jihoon’s moping because his boyfie left

snownable’s guardian: they’re mushy even when they’re apart i can’t believe this romcom

time of dae-hwi: okay but they cute

time of dae-hwi: #goals

baegels: oh my god daehwi who even says goals anymore

time of dae-hwi: uM LET ME LIVE ?

weewoojin: can somebody come get jihoon off of me

weewoojin: he’s being a koala and i wanna sleep

baegels:

time of dae-hwi:

weewoojin: sigh

weewoojin: hyung?

snownable’s guardian: seongwoo.exe has stopped working

baegels: LMAO

weewoojin: you all suck i hate this family

Chapter Text

my niel: hi

my niel:

Kang Daniel in black hair cured my depression

my hoonie: ajdflskjd;flaskjdlfs 

my niel: hehe ^^

my hoonie: WHAT THE F U C K 

my hoonie: WHAT IS THIS

my hoonie: A;SLDKF;AJSLDKLK

my niel: lol do you like it? :D

my hoonie: DAN IEL

my niel: that’s me :D  

my hoonie: YOUR

my hoonie: THE HAIR

my niel: haha what about it ^^

my hoonie: LASJD;FLASJ;DL

my hoonie: ALSJD;FLKAS

my hoonie: I AM S CREAMING ASKDALFSJD;L

my hoonie: YOU COULDN'T GIVE A FUCKIN G WARNING FIRS T ? ??

my niel: btw jaehwan says hi

my niel:

96-line!

my hoonie: hi jaehwan hyung wyd

my hoonie: BUT DANIEL

my hoonie: DANIELAS;DA

my hoonie: YOUR HAIR AHLSAJ;FLKSJDLF

my hoonie: SLDFJ;ALSKDJ;FLAS

my niel: lol babe breathe

my hoonie: how can i breathE WHEN MY BOYFRIEND IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON ON THE PLANET ? ? ?

my niel: oh whew so you do like it

my niel: i was getting nervous there lol

my niel: i like it too!

my hoonie: NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT

my hoonie: MY HEART IS LITERALLY BEATING SO FAST RIGHT NOW ? ??

my hoonie: I FEEL SO UNWORTHY LIKE

my hoonie: I AM SO BLESSED ? ??

my hoonie: MY BOYFRIEND IS THE MOST STUNNING PERSON EVER EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME ASLKDF;ASK

my niel: awwwww

my niel: you flatter me <3

my hoonie: hi daniel hyung it’s woojin

my hoonie: jihoon kept screaming so i had to confiscate his phone to see why

my hoonie:

my hoonie: you look good hyung

my niel: lol thanks woojin~

my hoonie: SADFL; BACK OFF BIH

my niel: LOL jihoon you know i only have eyes for you

my hoonie: iT’S JUST LAHSASLSAFKS

my hoonie: YOUR HAI R IT’S

my niel: ?? :D

my hoonie: it’s

my hoonie:

my hoonie: it’s giving me bad thoughts

my niel: oh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

my hoonie: i want you to come home

my hoonie: right now

my niel: LOL

my hoonie: so i can show you how much i appreciate this transformation

my hoonie: (with my lips)

my hoonie: (and maybe my hands)

my niel: lol getting feisty are we

my hoonie: I CAN’T HELP IT

my hoonie: AND I’ M NOT EVEN SORRY

my hoonie: i want to do so many things to you you have no idea

my niel: oh my god

my niel: darling you are making me blush and jaehwan is giving me weird looks

my hoonie: WELL TOO BAD IMMA BOUT TO HYPERVENTILATE AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT YOU DE MO N

my niel: i told him you told me a funny joke and he’s asking what it was omg fuck me

my hoonie: gladly

my hoonie: like

my hoonie: please

my niel: omG NOT THE TIME BABE

my hoonie: just know

my hoonie: that if i die 

my hoonie: i will haunt you forever

my hoonie: but at least i’ll die happy

my hoonie: bc i was so perfectly ~blessed~ by the most perfect angel hnnnggggg

my niel: you just called me a demon tho ? ? LOL

my hoonie: W HAT EVER THERE IS NO WAY YOU’RE A MERE MORTAL LIKE ME SKJF;LASD

my niel: aww

my niel: hey but if anyone is an angel

my niel: it’s you sweetheart <3

my hoonie: :(

my niel: ^^ i’ll be home soon

my niel: jaehwan wanted to learn to skateboard so we decided to go out on our off day

my niel: i was gonna ask you to come

my niel: but you were sleeping so peacefully lol

my niel: didn’t wanna wake you

my niel: also that would’ve ruined the surprise but anyway

my niel: i’m glad you like it

my niel: imma post it on our fancafe later

my niel: i hope the fans like it too!

my hoonie: oh trust me

my hoonie: they’ll love it <3

my hoonie: LSAKJDF;LAKDS BRB GOTTA TELL EVERYONE ABOUT MY SUPER HOT BEAUTIFUL SEXY BOYFRIEND NAMED KANG DANIEL SKAD;J  

***

95’s only (7)

minhyun: guys which studio ghibli film is better

minhyun: spirited away or howl’s moving castle

youngmin 2: i’ve only seen howl’s moving castle so like

jonghyun: YOUNGMIN COME OVER AND WATCH STUDIO GHIBLI WITH ME

youngmin 2: okay! :D

minhyun:

minki: lol do it youngmin

minki: watch them all

minki: you’d finally be able to prove minhyun’s inadequacy

minhyun: youngmin

youngmin 2: what

minhyun: don’t make me hurt you

youngmin 2: jesus jonghyun literally invited me over

youngmin 2: i see nothing wrong here

youngmin 2: also shameless plug go listen to love it live it pls :)

dongho: i liked spirited away more

seongwoo: hi what did i miss

minhyun: you can … scroll up … yourself ??

seongwoo: well hello to you too buttface

youngmin 1: i liked when marnie was there

seongwoo: and i like howl’s moving castle better

seongwoo: wait why are you asking

jonghyun: bc minhyun is being a bully and saying spirited away is better :((((

minki: wow for once baekho and minhyun are agreeing on something

minki: look at this character development

dongho: jk i changed my mind howl’s moving castle is better

minhyun: wow dongho you fake ass hoe

jonghyun: it’s two to one i win

minhyun: i say we nullify dongho’s vote and say it’s a tie

minhyun: unless anyone /else/ has anything to say?

youngmin 1: ok but what is this all for ???

jonghyun: we were trying to pick a film to watch on our next date

jonghyun: and ofc i suggested studio ghibli

jonghyun: BUT THEN SOMEONE DECIDED TO BE A STUBBORN DICKWAD

seongwoo: damn minhyun what’s your damage

minki: my fellow min better fix this m e s s before someone gets hurt

minki: namely me

minki: idk how i would but after spending ten years with you all i’m sure you could find a way

youngmin 2: y’all should watch ponyo

youngmin 2: angst level was like 1%

dongho: tbh when i watched ponyo all i could think about was sewoon lol

dongho: yea ik ponyo is a girl but still

minhyun: jjuyah it’s fine lol i don’t really care what we watch

minhyun: all i care about is spending time with you ~

youngmin 1: ew

minhyun: so can we please stop arguing

jonghyun:

jonghyun: i’ll forgive you faster if you buy me chicken wings

minhyun: deal <3

jonghyun: <3

youngmin 2: k so am i still invited or

seongwoo: do you wanna third wheel

youngmin 2: fuck no i’ll bring donghyun

dongho: bring ponyo too! i haven’t seen him in ages

minhyun: i don’t remember inviting you to our movie date ???

dongho: it’s our dorm ???

dongho: the fuck you want me to do

dongho: jonghyun you wouldn’t kick me out right

jonghyun:

dongho: wow ok i see how it is

dongho: let it be known that the nation’s leaderTM

dongho: would kick out his own MEMBER for fried chicken

jonghyun: i didn’t say anything but you’re not wrong so :)

seongwoo: kinda relevant but not really

seongwoo: but you should see how many times daniel and jihoon kicked us out of the dorm

seongwoo: frankly it’s better that they did but like

seongwoo: I ? ?? LIVE ??? ? ? HERE? ?? ?

minki: tbh i’m used to it

minki: they were insufferable back then

minki: they’re insufferable now

youngmin 1: guys i’m bored

youngmin 1: we should go to the arcade or something

youngmin 1: we should buy more bread too

youngmin 2: you know what

youngmin 2: nvm ydpp movie night will be a thing

youngmin 2: i’ll make it a thing

youngmin 2: good idea youngmin

seongwoo: …you want a cookie or somethin

youngmin 2: if i said hell yeah would you send me one

seongwoo: psh no lmao

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

cloudy by yui: so

cloudy by yui: nielwink

cloudy by yui: do y’all have some police roleplay thing going on

nielmoyed: what

nielmoyed: no

nielmoyed: but we could ;)

chamsae: sungwoon hyung why

tteongwu: actually tho why’d you go and give them more reasons to make our lives worse

cloudy by yui: shut up you pansies i was just CURIOUS

the better pink sausage: @daniel ;)

chamsae: save us

the better pink sausage: anyway have you all FEASTED your eyes on the beauty that is MY kang daniel

the better pink sausage: bc lemme tell you one (1) park jihoon is F E D

nielmoyed: aw babe <3

tteongwu: i for one (1) am #fed up with your screaming

tteongwu: jesus you’re giving woojin a run for his money

chamsae: i should be offended but :\\

the better pink sausage: if you saw daniel and didn’t think he was the most perfect man in the world did you really see him? ??

the better pink sausage: i think not

pearjin: oh

pearjin: maybe i need glasses then? ??

pearjin: hyungs what do you think

hwihwi: s@v@ge

cloudy by yui: omg i’m so proud

cloudy by yui: our baby jinyoung is really out here fighting the good fight

the better pink sausage: jinyoung :)))

mandu: jihoon should be the president of the kang daniel fanclub lol

pearjin: i’m not scared of you

pearjin: come at me

gallyang: jaehwan did you put ice on your knee like i told you to

linlin: oh no hyung :((

linlin: are you okay what happened?

tteongwu: careful jinyoung

tteongwu: jihoon and his thighs are not to be messed with

mandu: nothing my dear guanlin

tteongwu: i still have the scars :(((

mandu: i just fell when i was skateboarding but it’s nothing major i promise

yoonjumma: wait

yoonjumma: did y’all bring your helmets like i told you to

nielmoyed: hyung it’s okay we were safe

nielmoyed: i was wearing a hat too so like

hwihwi: my jisung-hyung-is-about-to-beat-daniel-hyung’s-ass senses are tingling

pearjin: hyung jaehwan hyung threw the ice in the sink a few minutes ago

mandu: JINYOUNG WHAT THE FU CK

tteongwu: lol

mandu: jihoon i give you permission to obliterate one (1) bae jinyoung

linlin: hyungs ~ seonho is debuting tomorrow !‼

gallyang: jaehwan i am coming to your room and you better have an ice pack on your knee when i get there in two minutes

cloudy by yui: omg i wanna see jaehwan get out of this one

gallyang: also @guanlin i am also excited to see seonho debut

gallyang: let him know that we’re all behind him and have high hopes for him :)

linlin: will do hyung!

chamsae: update if anyone cares:

chamsae: jisung hyung is yelling at daniel for not wearing helmets

chamsae: this has been a psa

the better pink sausage: lol did anyone see if jaehwan conjured up some ice before he got mauled by minhyun hyung

cloudy by yui: lmao nope jaehwan is suffering

cloudy by yui: tbh tho that bruise doesn’t even look that bad minhyun needs to chill

nielmoyed: TELL THAT TO JISUNG HYUNG O H MY GO D

hwihwi: where’s jinyoung

the better pink sausage: taken care of :)

hwihwi: oh my god rip

the better pink sausage: anyway back to me

chamsae: ugh

the better pink sausage: hey

the better pink sausage: pink sausage number two

the better pink sausage: zip it

tteongwu: where’s jeojang jihoon we liked him more

the better pink sausage: he is in a coma and will only awaken with true love’s kiss

chamsae: what

the better pink sausage:

the better pink sausage: AHEM ?? ?

the better pink sausage: I’M WAITINGGGG

linlin: would a cheek kiss count

hwihwi: aww guanlin

cloudy by yui: can you believe jihoon takes up most of our ships

cloudy by yui: truly our resident hoe©

the better pink sausage: hyung don’t be jealous just bc i’m lovable

the better pink sausage: and uhh no guanlin anyone can do a cheek kiss you don’t have to be in love for something like that

tteongwu: you don’t have to be in love to kiss on the lips either ??

chamsae: lol this is where we all witness how jihoon sucks at getting out of awk situations

hwihwi: don’t feel bad guanlin you wouldn’t wanna kiss jihoon anyway

the better pink sausage: whAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

hwihwi: you deserve someone as pure and wonderful as you

hwihwi: and we’ve all established that jihoon is so far removed from purity that even dust wouldn’t wanna land on him

hwihwi: like damn honey

the better pink sausage: how did this turn into a roast jihoon session

chamsae: this is what i’m here for leggo

nielmoyed: hi i’m back

tteongwu: literally no one missed you

the better pink sausage: BABEEE <3

nielmoyed: hey darling <3

tteongwu: fucking bye

the better pink sausage: come to my room?

nielmoyed: wow would you look at that gotta nyoom

cloudy by yui: jfc i need taehyun

gallyang: bye y’all i’m sleeping with jonghyun tonight

cloudy by yui: wanna one more like wanna jump off a cliff

cloudy by yui: you all are the reason i get acne

Chapter Text

group chat (5)

snow flower: hey minhyun

i need jonghyun: what

snow flower: hehe

snow flower: jonghyun says hi

i need jonghyun: fuck you

penguin leader: lol true

penguin leader: but honestly i was just really happy to F I N A L L Y be on a show with jonghyunnie

penguin leader: master key did me dirty i am still hella salty that never worked out

penguin leader: but my wishes finally came true in 2018 :’)

i need jonghyun:

deserves better: i’m happy i got to see ilhoon hyung again ^~^

deserves better: and jonghyun hyung gave me a marshmallow peep! :D

try me ariana: the heck i want a marshmallow peep from jonghyun

i need jonghyun: no you don’t jaehwan shush

snow flower: lol careful guys minhyun hyung might combust from jealousy

deserves better: it’s so dumb how minhyun hyung and jonghyun hyung can’t be on screen together

deserves better: or even say each other’s names like ? ??????????

penguin leader: we know guanlin

deserves better: hyung i’m just saying!

deserves better: the shows would have so many more views if 2hyun could be a thing … it’s so dumb D<

snow flower: well to be fair

snow flower: weekly idol is kind of a mess now

snow flower: not sure why they invited so many guests ? ??

try me ariana: yea like

try me ariana: how were you all gonna get enough screen time tf

penguin leader: jaehwan we didn’t even stay for the whole thing lmao

snow flower: but ofc i’m never one to complain about seeing jonghyunnie again :)

try me ariana: lol isn’t this your second time seeing him on a show

snow flower: hah one (1) whole show more than minhyunnie

snow flower: i mean

snow flower: if wanna one go season 1© counts

snow flower: (it shouldn’t)

i need jonghyun: i will end you

snow flower: i’m still hyung baby! :D

i need jonghyun: also y’all should’ve let my baby dance nayana i was so looking forward to that

try me ariana: damn

try me ariana: minhyun hyung is really out here

try me ariana: trying to cause d R AM A? ?? ???

penguin leader: minhyun you know we would’ve loved to have jonghyun dance with us

penguin leader: but you also know we didn’t wanna risk sending hate his way :(

snow flower: omg that was such a heavy sigh like

snow flower: i felt that

i need jonghyun: why can’t i have nice things

deserves better: wait! hyung! seonho debuted! that’s a nice thing‼

penguin leader: i strive to one day have guanlin’s enthusiasm

snow flower: you’re like a decade late tho

penguin leader: did i ?? ask ??? for your ??? opinion ??

i need jonghyun: my son is growing up and i am proud

i need jonghyun: his mv was so soft and pure we do not deserve him

i need jonghyun: bless the cube chicks for making me smile in this dark cruel world :)

try me ariana: wow emo hours okay then

***

bnm boys (4)

daehwi: can you believe the hyungs tried to cook

woojin: sewoon’s hyung did most of the work tho so like

daehwi: lmao true

woojin: ok but real talk was that pasta edible yes or no

youngmin: what the heck woojin i am offended

donghyun:

youngmin: oh does  ~ s o m e o n e ~  have an opinion they’d like to express ????

donghyun: it was a bit bland okay?

donghyun: but don’t take it out on me tho i was just

donghyun: in the back

donghyun: you know

donghyun: minding my own business

donghyun: having my handsome face turned away for most of that vlive like even the viewers were disappointed

daehwi: lmao hyung is salty

woojin: saltier than the pasta at least? :D

youngmin: you little shit

woojin: *sips pepsi*

daehwi: will ydpp ever break away from the pepsiTM

daehwi: stay tuned to find out

donghyun: will youngmin hyung ever come up with a better greeting

donghyun: stay tuned to find o- oh nope he can’t sorry

youngmin: donghyun do you need to talk

donghyun: i’m fine

woojin: imma just leave this here

woojin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PdXIHGvMpk

daehwi: oh my god

***

minnie: jjuyah sweetie i am so sorry i am SO SORRY that an ugly ass bitch ass show like weekly idol played you like that

jjuyah: did you just

jjuyah: meme an apology to me

jjuyah: that’s not even how it goes omg

minnie: ugh you deserve so much better

jjuyah: minhyun i appreciate the support but there’s no need to freak out

jjuyah: it really wasn’t that bad

jjuyah: a bit crowded maybe

jjuyah: but i got to see the hyungs and daehwi and guanlin again

jjuyah: and that was like the highlight of my week right there

minnie: i wish i was there :(

jjuyah: i know i wish you were there too

jjuyah: but with that many groups there had to be a quota on members right? ^^;;

minnie: yeah i guess :\

jjuyah: hey

minnie: ?

jjuyah: iloveyou.

minnie: ………..

jjuyah: lol too much?

minnie: no

minnie: yes

minnie: oh

minnie: my heart

minnie: there it goes

jjuyah: ^^

jjuyah: message me after you land in japan okay?

minnie: ofc ofc

jjuyah: have a safe flight

jjuyah: have a good concert

jjuyah: don’t fall

jjuyah: blow them away with your good looks and talent

minnie: i’m always good looking

jjuyah: i mean

jjuyah: sure

minnie: :(

jjuyah: <3

minnie: i love you too jjuyah~ <3

***

just be joyful(6)

kenta: js i have the best teaser picture

sanggyun: are we talking about the day or night version

sanggyun: bc i think we can all agree

sanggyun: i slay the day version

kenta: well ideally both but

kenta: i think my night version was pretty poppin

longguo: i still don’t know what i was wearing in my day pic?

taehyun: who cares we all look soft so yay :D

donghan: me, an intellectual: jbj = kings of aesthetics

sanggyun: did our maknae just call himself an intellectual

sanggyun: LMAO IN WHAT ???

donghan: hey

donghan: i’m smart

donghan: sometimes

longguo: like that time you couldn’t sit properly ?

kenta: ouch

kenta: literally

hyunbin: wait

hyunbin: “kings of aesthetics”

hyunbin: err…maybe some of us lol but um

hyunbin:

donghan: hyung :)

donghan: are you :)

donghan: perhaps :)

donghan: throwing shade :)

donghan: ???? :))))))

hyunbin: what? :D

hyunbin: me? :D

hyunbin: no :D

hyunbin: i would never :D

donghan: just because we’re not all professional models or whatever

taehyun: k back to practice bitches

taehyun: imma make sure we end with a Bang (aha aha aha)

kenta: T R Y DO IT NOW

kenta: CAN YOU FOLLOW ME YES UH HUH

kenta: T R Y PICK IT UP

kenta: YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME OH NO

taehyun: you’ll catch these hands if you don’t PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN AND GET BACK TO PRACTICE

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

hwihwi: whose idea was it to put me in the same room as 2park

hwihwi: my trip to japan is once again ruined by our resident monsters

gallyang: i mean

gallyang: i’m content

gallyang: i’m rooming with two cuties who have to listen to me :)

mandu: ... where do i even begin with that

pearjin: yea don’t get your hopes up hyung

the better pink sausage: shut up daehwi you think i WANT to be with you when i’d rather be with a very /fine/ kang daniel

the better pink sausage: daniel i miss you already :(

pearjin: you’re literally. sitting. behind him. ?????

cloudy by yui: lol yea but he sleepin

yoonjumma: let him sleep, he’s been lacking some (read: many) hours

yoonjumma: even when he goes on dotb he doesn’t sleep well

the better pink sausage: my baby :( <3

chamsae: please don’t text flirt while you’re sitting next to me

chamsae: i’m uncomfortable

tteongwu: lmao i’m sleeping good tonight fellas

tteongwu: our precious linlin won’t bother me at all

hwihwi: plot twist: he does

linlin: lol no daehwi i wouldn’t

tteongwu: see? :D

tteongwu: guanlin this is why you’re my favorite maknae

pearjin: where am i on that list

the better pink sausage: yea what about me

chamsae: as long as i’m higher than daehwi

hwihwi: psH YOU WISH

tteongwu:

tteongwu: no comment

cloudy by yui: ha everyone brace yourselves

cloudy by yui: we about to have only ten members in wanna one

cloudy by yui: the maknaes are coming for our ongvid and it won’t be pretty

mandu: i hope we get to actually explore japan this time

mandu: the last time was sooo not satisfying

cloudy by yui: preach

pearjin: sungwoon hyung wtf you were here for a whole two days more than us

cloudy by yui: yea but then y’all showed up and those two days were suddenly not enough

hwihwi: ^ wow rt

***

“Lin-ah, I’m done,” Seongwoo said, stepping out of the bathroom in fresh clothes, bare-faced, glad to be rid of the musty odors of the airport and the suffocating texture of his makeup. With his teeth brushed and his face squeaky clean (and hydrated, of course), he was ready for bed.

“Okay.”

Guanlin quietly gathered his things and took heavy steps into the bathroom, shutting the door with a click. Seongwoo opened his carrier and placed his dirty clothes in a spare plastic bag before climbing under the covers. He sighed as his body sunk into the mattress, suddenly feeling aware of the soreness he had been feeling all day to the point where it started to feel numb.

The rushing sounds of water melted in the background, creating ambient white noise. Seongwoo was glad for the quiet after a night of constant excitement and concert jitters. He reached for his phone to check through updates, replying LOL to a dumb meme one of his friends had sent him.

As he mindlessly scrolled through some posts on Naver, Guanlin stepped out of the shower after what seemed like minutes, and Seongwoo caught sight of his pajamas in the corner of his eye.

“Good night, Guanlin.”

Guanlin dove under his own covers, grunting a wordless reply.

Seongwoo thought the youngest member hadn’t heard him properly and said once again, “Good night, Guanlin.”

There was a pause, after which Seongwoo was able to hear a faint reply, “Good night, hyung.”

Thinking the younger was just tired after a long day of travel, Seongwoo let it go, closing his eyes to hopefully get more than two hours of sleep tonight.

Except he didn’t.

Curse his body to fail him when he had the perfect opportunity to catch up on sleep. He should’ve known this would happen; he never fell asleep easily in different places. It had taken him an entire week to get used to sleeping at the Produce 101 dorms.

He groaned quietly so as not to wake Guanlin up. He figured if he couldn’t sleep, he would at least try to be productive. Listen to music, watch some videos, monitor his fancams….

Wait.

 

Was that crying?

Alarmed, he sat up turning to stare at the figure huddled on the other bed. He strained his ears and was even more alarmed to hear soft sniffles, almost like whimpers, coming from their beloved maknae. He cautiously pushed the covers off and padded over to the other bed, reaching a hand out to rest on Guanlin’s shoulder.

“Hey. Guanlin.”

Guanlin’s sobs silenced for a moment, the tall teenager rubbing his eyes while feeling ashamed at having been caught (and even worse, possibly waking up his tired teammate).

“Hyung,” he choked out. “I woke you, didn’t I?” he mumbled, and added, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. I couldn’t sleep,” Seongwoo said, rubbing the younger boy’s shoulder in soothing circles. “Can I ask what’s wrong?”

Guanlin stilled for a moment, as if recollecting his thoughts, reorganizing the emotions that had bubbled forth in the middle of the night.

“It’s nothing…” Guanlin sighed heavily. “I just…had a rough day, that’s all, hyung.”

“You shouldn’t hold onto negative feelings, Lin-ah,” Seongwoo chided gently. “You don’t want to hurt yourself when it gets to be too much.”

He continued, “Here, tell me what’s up. I can listen,” he said, rubbing gently on the younger’s shoulder.

Guanlin breathed out a sigh and relaxed the tension in his muscles, but kept his face hidden from his hyung.

“My sister called,” he started. “She asked if I knew my dad was sick and I said no.”

Seongwoo nodded with a hum.

“He’s fine. It’s just the cold, but it hurts when he coughs.” Guanlin paused. “I guess he didn’t want me to worry. That’s not what I was upset about.”

Guanlin exhaled slowly, trying to steady his breath before continuing. “One of the stylists yelled at me earlier.”

Seongwoo tensed, his mind racing, Who was it? What did they say? No one gets to hurt our maknae like that, I should –

“It was dumb. I was in the way and they shoved me a little, but I think she was just stressed with so many of us there. It wasn’t the best makeup session I’ve had,” Guanlin muttered. “I don’t know.”

“It’s the little things,” Guanlin was rambling now. “They all add up like you said. And then when someone says the wrong thing, it could all tip over.”

Seongwoo hummed, understanding completely. In their line of work, image was everything. One wrong slip could easily tear down everything you’ve ever worked for. It was a constant tightrope act, and Guanlin had it the hardest being the foreigner maknae of Wanna One.

“I overheard her talking to the other stylists before we left, and maybe I imagined it, but I don’t think she said nice things about me, hyung. It’s…stupid, but I’ve been feeling horrible ever since.”

“Guanlin, you—”

“Hyung, you know I don’t deserve to be in Wanna One. Everyone knows,” Guanlin said, his words drenched with bitterness.

Words Seongwoo never wanted to hear again.

“Guanlin…” Seongwoo had some choice words for him, but the younger kept going.

“Jisung hyung keeps saying I deserve better but I never felt that way. I can’t afford to think that way. If anyone deserved better, it’s Sungwoon hyung. Or you, Seongwoo hyung. Or Jihoon hyung, really anyone else,” Guanlin said, miserable. “Not me.”

“My Korean is still lacking. I’m awkward. I can’t dance as well as the others, or rap as well as the others. I can’t express myself correctly on shows. I’m never the member fans pick as their bias. So why am I here?”

“Guanlin, stop,” Seongwoo said, sternly this time. “You cannot degrade yourself like this, it’s not healthy. Look at me.”

The maknae turned slowly to face his hyung, sullen expression painted over his features, avoiding meeting his eyes for fear he would burst out crying again.

Seongwoo gazed over the younger, taking in again just how young he was.

Six years ago, I would’ve never imagined to be where he is now.

“Guanlin, you do deserve better. Other companies would thrive over having a foreign member. Look at EXO and the opportunities Yixing-sunbaenim has right now. Or Twice and their promotions in Japan.  Listen to me, it is not your fault.”

“Guanlin, you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Trust me when I say that I am honored to be in Wanna One with you and that I am happy that I can be your Seongwoo hyung. I can’t imagine doing what you did at your age. Running to another country to pursue my dreams? Learning a completely different language? Leaving behind my family and friends? Guanlin, you are fucking amazing.

Guanlin’s eyes began to water, and he tucked his face into his pillow, embarrassed to be crying in front of another hyung.

Please stop thinking you don’t deserve to be with us,” Seongwoo said, almost pleading. “It hurts us when you hurt. You are precious to us, and we care about you. You understand that, right?” Guanlin nodded.

“We all know that we don’t have all the time in the world to be together, so let’s make our time worth it. Let’s not keep things from each other, okay?”

Guanlin nodded again, sniffling, and Seongwoo fawned internally.

“Now, come on. Give me a hug,” Seongwoo opened his arms wide with a goofy smile. Guanlin sat up and crawled the short distance to his hyung, diving into the warmth and comfort of Seongwoo’s arms.

“I’ll always be here to listen,” Seongwoo said, softly. “Don’t ever think you’d be a burden to me or any of the other hyungs. We’re here for you, Guanlin.”

Guanlin nodded against the crook of Seongwoo’s neck, humming a reply. “Thank you, hyung,” he said, voice filled with warmth.

“Now,” Seongwoo pulled away, grinning. “Let’s try to get some rest, and tomorrow we’ll have fun exploring Japan. I highly doubt we'll be able to walk around without being followed,” Seongwoo muttered, “but at least it’s something. Cool?”

Guanlin smiled, the twinkle reaching his eyes again, humming in reply. He dove in for another hug and mumbled, “I love you, hyung.”

Seongwoo smiled. “Love you, too, Lin-ah.”

Chapter Text

my hoonie: babe

my hoonie: are you awake

my hoonie: daniel

my hoonie: babe

my niel: i literally woke up and was about to sleep again

my niel: let me sleep

my hoonie: nuuuu

my hoonie: come over

my niel:

my niel: never thought i’d see /this/ meme play out

my hoonie: biH DANIEL PLS

my hoonie: i mean

my hoonie: ahem

my hoonie: please?

my niel: well someone’s needy ;)

my hoonie: well you’re not wrong

my hoonie: do you want a prize for that amazing deduction

my niel: … oh

my hoonie: jfc

my niel: the fuck jihoon i can’t just come over

my niel: who’s in your room again

my niel: woojin and daehwi?

my hoonie: ugh

my niel: you can’t just kick them out! D:

my hoonie: fine should i come over to your room then

my niel: N O JIHOON OH MY GO D I CAN’T KICK OUT THE HYUNGS THEY’D MURDER ME

my niel: THEY’RE NOT EVEN AWAKE YET SLDAFK

my hoonie:

my hoonie: babe

my niel: what

my hoonie: i’ve been thinking about you

my hoonie: how good you looked last night

my hoonie: that harness hnggg

my niel: ah no nononononon onononononono

my niel: we are NOT sexting while the hyungs are asleep

my hoonie: i can be quiet :)

my niel: yea well i CAN;T

my hoonie: and boy do i love it ;)

my niel: fuck. you.

my hoonie: YES

my hoonie: PLEASE THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT I WANT

my niel: oh my god

my niel: can’t you just

my niel: idk take care of it yourself ?

my hoonie: daniel

my niel: jihoon

my hoonie: my love

my niel: aww

my hoonie: i miss you

my hoonie: we haven’t done anything for like a week and i can feel myself dying

my hoonie:

my hoonie: please don’t make me beg

my niel: now that

my niel: would be hot

my niel: but maybe some other time baby ;)

my hoonie: als;dflaksdj do /not/ fucking tempt me when i’m like this

my niel: LOL

my hoonie: daniel~~~~~ come over~~~

my niel: good lord

my niel: is it an age thing

my niel: it must be an age thing

my niel: i’m not even that old but like

my niel: holy fuck you are insatiable

my hoonie: no i’m not i’m just /stressed/

my hoonie: i thought you would be too :(

my niel: i have control jihoon

my hoonie: yes you have too much control

my niel:

my hoonie: over me

my niel: jesus

my hoonie: now please hurry up and get your beautiful body over here

my niel: BUT WOOJIN AND DAEHWI

my niel: JIHOON PLEASE

my hoonie: okay literally.

my hoonie: i will bribe the bnm beasts to leave if you come over right now.

my hoonie: okay?

my niel: what am i supposed to tell the hyungs

my hoonie: nothing? they’re asleep right? you can just leave and give your room key to woojin

my niel: no jisung hyung just woke up what do i do

my hoonie: omg are you deadass just tell him we needed alone time  

my niel:

my hoonie: but then again

my hoonie: i don’t have to kick out the kids

my niel: i don’t think you are in a position to call woojin a kid but ok

my hoonie: they’re asleep right now

my hoonie: and i can be quiet remember? :)

my niel: *heavy sigh*

my niel: you owe me big time park jihoon

my niel: i can’t believe i am giving up my precious sleeping time to cater to you

my hoonie: ^~^

my niel: i’m gonna brush my teeth and clean up

my niel: i’m not kissing you like this brb

my hoonie: <3

my niel: i’m giving you five minutes

my niel: and istg you better be ready

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

cloudy by yui: can someone come take these things away from me

gallyang: what things

cloudy by yui: ofc minhyun is awake

gallyang: i’ve /been/ awake

cloudy by yui: yea whatever come pick up woojin and daehwi

gallyang: why are they in your room

gallyang: is jisung hyung awake

cloudy by yui: apparently nielwink wanted alone time and gave woojin the key

gallyang: say no more

cloudy by yui: daniel imma kick you in the kneecaps

cloudy by yui: and jisung hyung is showering

gallyang: okay so … wait for him to finish

cloudy by yui: NO THEY WONT LET ME SLEEP OH MG SLD

gallyang: woojin daehwi you can come over to our room

gallyang: help me wake up jaehwan and jinyoung and i’ll treat you to sushi

cloudy by yui: thank god

cloudy by yui: bless you minhyun

cloudy by yui: we are undeserving of you

gallyang: damn right you are

***

jjuyah: minhyunie

minnie: yes my love

jjuyah: can you buy me the newest haikyuu novel

minnie: …didn’t i buy you manga last time too

jjuyah: well… yeah

jjuyah: but i’ve already read through that one

minnie: i see

minnie: yeah alright i’ll add it to the shopping list

jjuyah: yay! thank you ~ <3

minnie: <3 have a good day jjuyah~

***

dongho: hey

minhyun: no

dongho: i didn’t even ask yet ? ??

minhyun: no

dongho: bitch i just need sunglasses

minhyun: i distinctly remember buying  you gloves last time

minhyun: whatever happened to those

dongho: are you /still/ angry that i lost them

dongho: i swear i don’t know where they went jfc

minhyun: yeah well i used my own money for them and they were expensive >:(

minhyun: why can’t you buy it yourself?

minhyun: they’re probably cheaper in korea

dongho: i want matsuda

minhyun: oh my god

dongho: hey don’t forget

dongho: i’ve been keeping your room clean ever since you moved out

minhyun:

minhyun: you know i find that exceedingly hard to believe

dongho: k so maybe i don’t dust everyday and i only vacuum once a week so what

dongho: it’s still cleaner than my room

dongho: do you know how tiring it is taking care of a room you don’t even stay in

dongho: … actually don’t answer that

dongho: still

dongho: my efforts have to count for something

minhyun: uggggghhhhh

minhyun: i’ll see what i can do

dongho: yay thank you minhyun ily

***

minki: i heard you were buying gifts for us?

minhyun: i have no idea where you heard that

minki: if you buy me a few face masks (hydrating please) that would be swell

minhyun: what

minki: thanks minhyun!

***

minhyun: do you want anything

aron: ?

minhyun: from japan

aron: oh uh

aron: i think i’m good

minhyun: …sure you don’t want a hat or something

aron: well

aron: i won’t say no to free gifts

minhyun: k.

***

the better dorm (6)

weewoojin: yo nielwink

weewoojin: you done

weewoojin: hello?

weewoojin: helloooooooooooo

baegels: can we just leave them behind

baegels: who’s gonna miss them

snownable’s guardian: good god what losers

time of dae-hwi: so how did you sleep seongwoo hyung i’m curious

time of dae-hwi: did guanlin bother you last night

snownable’s guardian: no he was a perfect little angel

snownable’s guardian: just as i expected

time of dae-hwi: ugh ofc

time of dae-hwi: sometimes i wish guanlin would be a little shit for once

snownable’s guardian: look daehwi no matter how hard you try you will never be my favorite maknae

time of dae-hwi: :((((

snownable’s guardian: truth hurts doesn’t it

weewoojin: in that case

weewoojin: allow me to inflict some pain :)

weewoojin: jisung hyung said you and daehwi are paired together for today

snownable’s guardian:

snownable’s guardian: fantastic.

time of dae-hwi: i love you hyung

snownable’s guardian: i love you too i guess

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

nielmoyed: guys i found a pupper!

mandu: when a puppy finds another puppy

mandu: puppyception

chamsae: y’all we should play “who can find the weirdest shit in japan”

cloudy by yui: okay call

pearjin: ooh yay okay

yoonjumma: stay safe now

yoonjumma: be careful of fans

gallyang: and please for the love of god don’t drop your cameras

tteongwu: yeah daniel

nielmoyed: hey that time wasn’t even my fault D<

linlin: can i be on minhyun hyung’s team

linlin: he actually knows japanese

hwihwi: guanlin what the heck i know japanese too ?

linlin: …i trust minhyun hyung more

the better pink sausage: daehwi you cannot compare to the emperor hyung

the better pink sausage: it’s better if you give up now lol

hwihwi: suddenly park jihoon shiranai

cloudy by yui: you know what would suck

cloudy by yui: getting edited out by mnet

tteongwu: read: msnake

tteongwu: ha i wouldn’t be surprised anymore

pearjin: remember when they almost edited out our mafia game

chamsae: yo i was the star of mafia what a shame that would’ve been

hwihwi: …yeah ok

chamsae: hey rihanna you wanna fight

mandu: can you imagine park woojin fighting the legendary rihanna

mandu: i’d pay to see that

nielmoyed: ok everyone just try to be as funny as possible

tteongwu: oh sweetie i don’t /try/ to be funny

cloudy by yui: oh my god seongwoo please

cloudy by yui: you’re like the most extra out of all of us

cloudy by yui: tf you mean you don’t try

linlin: i think you’re funny seongwoo hyung

tteongwu: thank you linlin ~

tteongwu: see at least our maknae appreciates my talent

yoonjumma: daniel if we all tried to be funny that wouldn’t change anything

yoonjumma: the editors would still cherry pick based on who would bring in more views

pearjin: k so are we gonna explore or what

hwihwi: lol jinyoung hyung highkey done with this shit

the better pink sausage: already ahead of you

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

tteongwu: i found a vending machine that dispenses panties

cloudy by yui: did you get some

tteongwu: no wtf

pearjin: omg i found the wasabi kit kats

gallyang: someone stop jinyoung he just bought five different bags of kit kats

hwihwi: omg my heart i found a stuffed pug that you stick in the microwave

the better pink sausage: wait why tho

hwihwi: it’s a heat pack silly

the better pink sausage: oh

yoonjumma: daniel found a cat café and now he doesn’t wanna go home

cloudy by yui: ooh good idea let’s leave him here

the better pink sausage: sungwoon hyung i will fight you

cloudy by yui: oh jihoonie please feel free to stay with him

cloudy by yui: see? no fighting required :D

linlin: there’s so much food~ ahh this is heaven

chamsae: guanlin is about to eat out this entire food stall someone help

mandu: why are these games so addicting i’m running out of coins

gallyang: jaehwan please don’t waste our snack money on claw machines

mandu: lmao too late

chamsae: ok so it looks like seongwoo’s found the weirdest thing so far?

chamsae: … not that any of you found anything super weird to begin with

chamsae: y'all suck

pearjin: woojin hyung relax we’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves

yoonjumma: i wish the weather was nicer it’s kind of blegh right now

cloudy by yui: ikr… the day before we go back home too

tteongwu: just kidding sungwoon hyung i bought you some panties

cloudy by yui: excuse me

mandu: lmao what do they look like

tteongwu: it’s a surprise ;)

cloudy by yui: i didn’t need panties tho?

tteongwu: consider it an early bday gift

cloudy by yui: it passed already you twit

tteongwu: fine early xmas gift

linlin: omg

yoonjumma: guys daniel wants to adopt another cat i can’t

gallyang: what are you telling us for

gallyang: you’re the leader

gallyang: tell him no

yoonjumma: he’s pulling the puppy eyes

pearjin: you would think jisung hyung would be immune to those by now ???

the better pink sausage: omg daniel if you adopt another cat i will cut you off for another week

chamsae: … does that mean what i think it means

tteongwu: i can’t tell if this is good or bad

hwihwi: part of me wants a new cat now

gallyang: guys how would we even bring the cat home

yoonjumma: daniel just deadpanned and said he has no issue with that

pearjin: …???

tteongwu: huh. didn’t expect this.

yoonjumma: he also said that you’d be the one suffering so really it’s a win win for him

the better pink sausage: ……

mandu: oh my

cloudy by yui: lol

chamsae: everyone brace yourselves

chamsae: we about to have a mad jihoon running loose in japan

chamsae: godzilla is quaking

Chapter Text

wanna burn down ymc (11)

cloudy by yui: so who wants to cry over jbj with me

yoonjumma:  l o l i already have

tteongwu: for a second i thought jisung hyung said “loli” and i was very concerned

cloudy by yui: ok i cried like five times already but whoops i still got moisture in me to release

gallyang: that … is probably the grossest thing you’ve said this week

pearjin: “this week” lol

pearjin: implying that sungwoon hyung says grosser things in other weeks

hwihwi: and /especially/ when we hav e a whole nielwink to deal with ???

chamsae: truth

chamsae: remember when they defiled our room in japan

hwihwi: *shudders*

tteongwu: how could i forget

tteongwu: i suddenly had to house two whole beasts on the last night

linlin: hyung it wasn’t bad! it was like a sleepover! :D

tteongwu: lin-ah, if that’s what a sleepover was, i don’t want another one

mandu: you’ve never

mandu: had a sleepover ?

mandu: :0

tteongwu: no i haven’t leave me alone

mandu: HYUNG HOW HAVE YOU LIVED

tteongwu: *chuckles* living? what’s that?

gallyang: k so before seongwoo goes all psycho on us

cloudy by yui: wait woojin daehwi why didn’t y’all just stay with minhyun and the things

pearjin: wow ok

mandu: mood

gallyang: well

gallyang: i would’ve said no even if they asked

hwihwi: minhyun hyung why D8

gallyang: lee daehwi do you really think i want to spend a night with four other people in a two-bedroom room

linlin: lol room room

chamsae: wait but hyung

chamsae: didn’t you have sleepovers with nu’est hyungs?

gallyang: park woojin do you really think i would sleep in the same room as dongho

tteongwu: so is that a no

tteongwu: are you a sleepover virgin too

pearjin: what

mandu: omg all of nu’est are sleepover virgins what is this plot twist

gallyang: stop

gallyang: also minki and jonghyunie shared the same room forever so like

mandu: a sleepover is at leAST TWO PEOPLE HYUNG

mandu: you /are/ a sleepover virgin omg

cloudy by yui: lmao poor dongho tho

yoonjumma: i miss dongho

gallyang: i don’t

cloudy by yui: why the fuck you lyinggggg why you always lyingggggg

chamsae: oh god

chamsae: an outdated meme

chamsae: help us all

cloudy by yui: frick you sparrow

chamsae: /captain/ sparrow ((((:

cloudy by yui: …. yeah no imma just call you sparrow

cloudy by yui: the only captain

cloudy by yui: in my life

cloudy by yui: is

cloudy by yui:

cloudy by yui: no one ha im perfect bitches

mandu: … can we kick him out now

cloudy by yui: frick you too jaehwan

cloudy by yui: wait i was supposed to be sad fuck brb

cloudy by yui: if anyone needs me i’ll be streaming call my name and just be stars kbye

***

my hoonie: i can’t believe you bought me cat ears

my hoonie: as if we don’t already get enough of them from fans

my niel: ok well

my niel: these were from japan

my niel: they hold sentimental value

my hoonie: imma stop you right there

my niel: what

my hoonie: before you say something i’ll probs regret

my niel: oh

my niel: wait

my niel: do you mean

my hoonie: >///<

my niel: oh

my niel: oh god no

my niel: LOL babe i just meant it would commemorate our first trip to japan together

my hoonie:

my niel: our sexy time was just a bonus ;)

my hoonie: im muting you

my niel: noooo kitten come back

my hoonie:

my hoonie: ……..

my niel: (: ?

my hoonie: i hate how affected i am by that

my niel: i love it though ;)

my hoonie: STOP WINKING AT ME

my niel: never.mp3

my niel: also

my niel: have i told you

my hoonie: ??

my niel: i love you today

my hoonie:

my hoonie: uh

my hoonie: … meow?

my hoonie: love?

my hoonie: whats that?

my hoonie: can i eat it

my niel: oh

my niel: my heart <3

my niel: uh

my niel: yes

my hoonie: um

my niel: please eat all my love

my niel: its calorie free but /not/ sugar free

my niel: that’s like

my niel: the best thing ever

my hoonie: k but im on a diet

my niel: wait what

my niel: no

my niel: babe pls

my niel: you don’t need to diet D:

my niel: you’re perfect just the way you are

my hoonie:

my hoonie: k well

my hoonie: that is sickeningly sweet

my hoonie: imma get cavities

my hoonie: somebody call the dentist

my niel: <3

my hoonie: *sigh*

my hoonie: <3

my niel: <3 <3 <3

my hoonie: alright go you lump

my niel: be safe with your schedule

my hoonie: message me when you’re coming home

my niel: i will~

***

group chat (5)

i need jonghyun: hello everyone

i need jonghyun: sungwoon hyung is the new leader of wanna one

i need jonghyun: thank you for coming to my ted talk

snow flower: huh

snow flower: wait what

snow flower: i didn’t sign up for this responsibility fuck

penguin leader: minhyun what the heck

try me ariana: if we’re having a leader change why aren’t you telling the whole group?

try me ariana: also does this mean sungwoon hyung will get fewer lines

try me ariana: cuz a bitch wants to know

snow flower: no fuck you leave my lines alone

i need jonghyun: i can’t believe jisung hyung was a snake all along and never #thot it’d be appropriate to tell me that he had a whole ??? photoshoot ??? with my baby ? ????

penguin leader: ok well to be fair

penguin leader: he could’ve told you himself

try me ariana: i wonder if jonghyunie hyung is this possessive among the nu’est bros

deserves better: wait what did i miss

i need jonghyun:

dispatchleaders

snow flower: jonghyunie is so cute ? ???

snow flower: my heart has actually soared o mg

snow flower: sry not sry minhyun lol 

try me ariana: lol jisung hyung better watch that hand

penguin leader: im still stunned that hyojin is older than our jonghyun

penguin leader: actual reversal of the year if you ignore nu’est for a hot second

i need jonghyun: my baby looks the best sorry i don’t make the rules

try me ariana: damn

penguin leader: also not to be dramatic but jonghyun is one of the best leaders ever

penguin leader: we were all chatting and he said we should exchange numbers :D

deserves better: omg imagine a kpop group with just leaders

deserves better: hui hyung would slay

deserves better: wait why wasn’t hui hyung there

snow flower: lmao linnie pls i highly doubt they could’ve invited everyone

penguin leader: it was funny bc jonghyun mentioned taking care of nu’est w (yes minhyun he said nu’est w don’t @ me) was a chore and i was like

penguin leader: … do you wanna try taking care of ten brats all at once

try me ariana: wait but i’m not even that bad

i need jonghyun:

snow flower:

deserves better: and then what happened

penguin leader: oh and then he was all smiley and whatever and said well i’ve taken care of minhyun before so i relate kinda

penguin leader: that was kinda cute

i need jonghyun: MY BABY <3 <3 <3

snow flower: chill

penguin leader: and then seungcheol was all well i have twelve kids to take care of

penguin leader: and then taeyong just did that stare into the camera thing and sighed

i need jonghyun: wow mood

***

the better dorm (6)

danielmnop: hi hello what the fuck is this

danielmnop: https://www.instagram.com/p/BhwYQFsD9H5/

snownable’s guardian: why my dear daniel

snownable’s guardian: don’t you see its my wonderful collaboration with clavis

snownable’s guardian: ft. jihoon

weewoojin: lol true

jeojang who? idk her: excuse me

jeojang who? idk her: did you just say i’m /just/ a feature

jeojang who? idk her: you wanna go (ง'̀-'́)ง

snownable’s guardian: daniel control your demon

danielmnop: how did i not know about this )):

baegels: has anyone seen my pringles

weewoojin: … what flavor were they

time of dae-hwi: my sus detector is going ding

weewoojin: your sus detector is faulty

baegels: original flavor

baegels: obviously

jeojang who? idk her: plain and boring like one (1) bae jinyoung

baegels: seongwoo hyung your cf with clavis was amazing

baegels: it’s too bad you had to share the spotlight with some hoe we don’t care about

jeojang who? idk her: watch it contour king

jeojang who? idk her: my thighs could crush your skull

danielmnop: …...

snownable’s guardian: lol daniel’s dream come true

weewoojin: ew stop

weewoojin: anyway jihoon hurry up jeSUS

jeojang who? idk her: do not fucking R U S H me you cabbage

weewoojin: imma break down your door if you’re not out in five minutes

weewoojin: the managers are screaming at us i can feel it

danielmnop: have fun darling~

weewoojin: hyung wth do i not get a “have fun”

danielmnop: nope

weewoojin: wow ok

danielmnop: be safe

danielmnop: don’t talk to strangers

baegels: lmao as if

baegels: our jihoon hyung here is so shy he’ll just be talking to woojin the whole time

weewoojin: see hyung you should be happy that im keeping your precious boyfie safe and sound

danielmnop: god i wish that were me

baegels: tbh these next two days will be heaven

time of dae-hwi: agreed

time of dae-hwi: woojin feel free to stay wherever you’re going

weewoojin: im telling youngmin hyung to disown you

snownable’s guardian: wow hi im back

weewoojin: where did you even go

snownable’s guardian: i was calling my mom

snownable’s guardian: … so technically nowhere

danielmnop: jihoon

jeojang who? idk her: what

danielmnop: kiss me hard before you go

baegels: ugh

weewoojin: k i l l  m e

baegels: i don’t think i’m even fazed anymore tbh

danielmnop: i just wanted you to know

time of dae-hwi: you sKIPPED A VER SE

danielmnop: IT’S NOT SUMMERTIME YET DAVID FUCK

weewoojin: k we’re leaving now

baegels: fucking finally

danielmnop: ))): i miss him already

snownable’s guardian: daniel feel free to leave with them

snownable’s guardian: and don’t come back

snownable’s guardian: xoxo

Chapter Text

wanna burn down ymc (11)

hwihwi: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINYOUNGIE HYUNG

linlin: eeeeeeeeee happy bday hyung ~ :D

the better pink sausage: i cant believe he’s going out to see his bday ads

the better pink sausage: what a loser omg

chamsae: jihoon don’t even lie you would do the sam e thing

chamsae: but yea happy bday breadface

chamsae: i hid your present somewhere in the dorm i hope you like it

tteongwu: happy birthday jinyoung!

tteongwu: i have your present by the way

tteongwu: woojinie sucks at hiding things lmao

chamsae: ……

the better pink sausage: l o l woojin is out here bringing a whole new definition to dumbass

chamsae: fucking no one likes you go away

nielmoyed: objection your honor

cloudy by yui: denied please continue woojin

yoonjumma: hold up aint i the judge

cloudy by yui: you have the right to remain silent

yoonjumma: sungwoon just bc i have the right to remain silent doesn’t mean i will

mandu: wow @ me

cloudy by yui: overruled carry on

mandu: we are stepping into a dicktatorship y’all

mandu: what a time to be ded

the better pink sausage: fat mood

gallyang: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINYOUNGIEEEEEE

gallyang: HYUNG LOVES YOU VERY MUCH <3

tteongwu: ...

tteongwu: idk why but i feel awkward now

nielmoyed: seongwoo pls you’re always awkward

tteongwu: you

tteongwu: bitch

tteongwu: are missing a hyung

nielmoyed: and happy bday jinyoungie~

nielmoyed: ily too

nielmoyed: not as much as jihoonie but yeah

nielmoyed: hope ur having fun at skool

the better pink sausage: thx beb ily 2

cloudy by yui: the “skool” is giving me cancer

the better pink sausage: who wants to go ziplining

yoonjumma: ???

hwihwi: what

chamsae: jesus was the last time not enough for your adrenaline addiction

the better pink sausage: the fuck kind of question is that

the better pink sausage: literally all i do is perform and sleep and eat

the better pink sausage: i am THIR STY

the better pink sausage: and in more ways than one

mandu: ew

the better pink sausage: also i asked daniel and he said no

the better pink sausage: this betrayal :((((

cloudy by yui: lol i saw that coming from miles away

tteongwu: you could just

tteongwu: bring woojin along again

chamsae: HARD PASS BY E

linlin: jihoon hyung i’ll go with you! it looked fun!

the better pink sausage: cool lets go

the better pink sausage: daniel im ditching you for guanlin sry

nielmoyed: babe :(

nielmoyed: you know what actually im not even mad linlin is a baby and i trust him

chamsae: lol does that mean you don’t trust the rest of us

nielmoyed: yeah

chamsae: damn ok

pearjin: hii everyone ~

hwihwi: HYUNGGG <3

yoonjumma: hiii hope you’re having fun?

pearjin: i am hyung tyy

pearjin: also manager says hi

cloudy by yui: hbd save me some cake pls ty

mandu: same

pearjin: lol no more cake i ate it all sorry hyungs ^^;;

nielmoyed: noooo :’(

cloudy by yui: *sighs into the abyss* i can’t trust anyone in this family

tteongwu: k but how much of that cake landed on your face tell the truth

pearjin: also wanted to say that i’m at the coex and wow i am shining up in here

pearjin: and thanks for the bday wishes y’all are the best :D

pearjin: i love you all <3 i’ll be home soon <3

yoonjumma: be safe now <3

pearjin: i will! :D

gallyang: god i just remembered how young he is

yoonjumma: ha HA ha ha Haha fck

tteongwu: minhyun have you ever realized how dad you are

tteongwu: i swear youre like the most dad out of all of us

mandu: truth

cloudy by yui: lol but have you seen his videos with nuest bros

cloudy by yui: lets not forget how minhyunie is actually the second youngest in nuest

nielmoyed: hyung how come youre not like that with us :(

tteongwu: he’s been thru some things dude

gallyang: fuck off no its because SOMEONE has to be an adult and it may as well be me

gallyang: and jisung hyung i guess

yoonjumma: yay

mandu: quick who has the darkest past nu’est or woojin

mandu: vote now on ur phones

chamsae: hyung if you could kindly eat a sock thatd be great

gallyang: ^ what he said

hwihwi: oh easy

hwihwi: woojin for sure

cloudy by yui: woojin

tteongwu: woojin

yoonjumma: uh i abstain ?

nielmoyed: woojin

chamsae: fuck you all

chamsae: i’ll have you know i’m the Only OneTM who matters so y’all can suck it

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

the better pink sausage: woojin

chamsae: SKKSKKSS fuCK YOU

***

95’s only (7)

youngmin 1: hey minhyun

minhyun: ?

youngmin 1: noah says hi

youngmin 1:

noah

minhyun: ‼‼!

minhyun: ahh my precious babyyy

minhyun: also guanlin says hi

youngmin 1: hello guanlin!

minhyun: he wants to see noah again

youngmin 1: well y’all are always welcome to come by

dongho: no hyung stop why

youngmin 1: what

dongho: don’t you remember

youngmin 1: no?

dongho: *sigh* minki?

minki: idek whats goin g on

minki: … the beast is staring at me and im uncomfortable hyung make it go away

dongho: ugh

dongho: why are you here if you’re just gonnab e USELESS

youngmin 2: hi friends

seongwoo: hi becky

youngmin 2: what

dongho: we specifically agreed that he-who-should-not-be-named had to bring us presents before he steps foot in our dorm

minhyun: … jjuyah did you agree to this

jonghyun: wow

minhyun: ?

jonghyun: your lack of faith in me is astounding

seongwoo: damn bugi

minhyun: k well

minhyun: @ donghoe you bih i can just meet noah outside

youngmin 1: ugh but that means /i/ have to go outside

youngmin 1: and id really rather not

seongwoo: oh my god minhyun remember when you were caught on camera

seongwoo: classic

seongwoo: you should’ve told me i would’ve given you a better disguise

minhyun: no

seongwoo: why not :((

minhyun: because no

seongwoo: ugh jjuyah how do you deal with him he’s so BORI NG GG

jonghyun: please don’t call me that

seongwoo: ??? the fans call you that tho? ???

minhyun: seongwoo tbqh i really didn’t give a fuck

jonghyun: oh my god are you calling yourself a fan? 8D

youngmin 2: jonghyunnie i’m your fan :D

minki: was that a subtle dick joke jr-ie

seongwoo: not sure i like this new turtle

seongwoo: where did the cute onibugi go

dongho: don’t worry he’s just going through a #mood

minki: i blame minhyun

minhyun: i didN’T DO ANYTHING

minki: sure honey

minhyun: ugh

minhyun: jjuyah you’re not mad at me right

seongwoo: i don’t recall signing up for couples cousnseling but go off i guess

youngmin 1: oh btw

youngmin 1: minhyun

minhyun: what

youngmin 1: noah’s eating your old shirts again

minhyun:

minki: eat them noah theyre ugly af anyway

minhyun: wth happened to staring at minki

minhyun: eat /his/ clothes

dongho: lol

seongwoo: noah ?? eats clothes ???

youngmin 1: he does now

seongwoo: oh my god he should come over and eat jihoon’s clothes

seongwoo: pls

seongwoo: for wanna one’s sake

seongwoo: the demon is bringing down the groups street cred

minki: l o l what street cred

dongho: at least he’s cute

dongho: what do you got seongwoo

seongwoo: dongho wtf i don’t deserve this disrespekt

youngmin 2: yo tell jihoon i said hi i haven’t seen him in forever

seongwoo: k

seongwoo: i might forget tho

minhyun: jfc can we trade seongwoo for aron

minhyun: i actually kinda like him

youngmin 1: wow im so touched

seongwoo: minhyun what the heck :’(

minhyun: relax

minhyun: i tolerate you more than nielwink

seongwoo: i’ll take it

youngmin 1: uhh

youngmin 1: no ty

youngmin 1: you can keep him

youngmin 1: he’s cool i guess

youngmin 1: 3 cool 5 me :))

seongwoo: aron bro <3

seongwoo: i know we dun know each other that well but

seongwoo: bro <3

youngmin 1: lol

minhyun: minki switch places with seongwoo

minki: die

seongwoo: minnie i love how you think imma be devastated but honestly ???

seongwoo:

changemymindmeme

dongho: no thanks lol

dongho: wouldn't wanna waste my breath

dongho: id rather use it to outsing you anyway <3

seongwoo: frick you 

 

***

wanna burn down ymc (11)

nielmoyed: so jihoon just proposed to me

yoonjumma: …………………what

gallyang: excuse me he did what now

tteongwu: 

wtfdaniel

cloudy by yui: lmao daniel hide yo husband jisung hyung is coming in hot

hwihwi: i call best man

pearjin: LMA O DAEHWI THATS HIALRIOUS YOU THINK HED CHOOSE YOU

chamsae: well he ain’t gonna choose you either baebae

chamsae: pink sausages gotta stick together amirite

linlin: who’s gonna be the priest lol

hwihwi: minhyun hyung

hwihwi: obviously

gallyang: I’M STILL CONFUSED EXPLAIN PLS

gallyang: and whYY IS THAT OBVIOUS

cloudy by yui: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH3Fjc7zwJA

tteongwu: 

what

gallyang: are you serious

mandu: oh my god lol

gallyang: daniel kang

nielmoyed: yeh :)

tteongwu: wow way to give our intrepid leader a heart attack before 30

tteongwu: are you happy now

nielmoyed: i mean yeah my boyfriend and love of my life just proposed to me so yeah im pretty happy hbu

gallyang: why is jihoon proposing to millions of people when he’s barely an adult what is this bullshit

gallyang: whose idea was that

cloudy by yui: told you he was a hoe©

mandu: lmao tru

mandu: we even agreed that jisung hyung would get married first

cloudy by yui: ugh but that could take ages

yoonjumma: shut it

cloudy by yui: am i lyin tho

yoonjumma: if it makes you feel better

yoonjumma: y’all are free to marry whenever you want

nielmoyed: yay

yoonjumma: except you nielwink

yoonjumma: you babies need to chill for at LEAST another five years

nielmoyed: boo

nielmoyed: jihoon let’s elope

pearjin: does no one else think theyre moving a liTTLE TOO FAST

hwihwi: wait a second that means i’ll be #1

hwihwi: i’ll finally regain my center position YASSS BINC H  

hwihwi: hyungs go elope and have lots of babies <3 yay love

chamsae: ew

tteongwu: hyung why are you so keen on getting married anyway

tteongwu: marriage is so …

tteongwu: blegh

cloudy by yui: keen is a strong word

tteongwu: commitment and shit

cloudy by yui: i prefer the word “interested”

tteongwu: i wanna be sexy free and single

nielmoyed: “sexy” lmao

nielmoyed: i guess a dude can dream :)

cloudy by yui: and im not cool with wiating for jisung hyung’s old ass to tie the knot to get the go sign

tteongwu: hey danik 

tteongwu: sweetie

tteongwu: i don’t need your approval honey #loveyourself

cloudy by yui: miss me with that hierarchy ish

the better pink sausage: omg hyung funny how you mention that

chamsae: no stop oml hyung you’ve triggered him

the better pink sausage: THE KINGS ARE COMING BACK AND IM NOT READY

chamsae: what have you done

the better pink sausage: YOU WILL NOT SILENCE ME WOOJIN

mandu: im scared

the better pink sausage: SINGULARITY GAVE ME LIFE BITCH

the better pink sausage: THE DANCE ??? A++ THE VISUALS ? A++++++

the better pink sausage: MY KING TAEHYUNGIE HYUNG ??? WOW DIPLOMA RECEIVED

the better pink sausage: WE LOVE AND STAN A WHOLEASS KING

gallyang: im … overwhelmed

mandu: jesus you’re loud

the better pink sausage: hi guys its daniel im sitting on jihoon

tteongwu: that’s great sweetie

chamsae: oh hyung

chamsae: does jihoon actually save your name as muscle hyung

the better pink sausage: lemme check

the better pink sausage: skka kslka ksda

mandu: welp lol

linlin: now i wanna know what jihoon has me saved as hehe

hwihwi: same

pearjin: i bet its something mean :(

the better pink sausage: hi its me again

the better pink sausage: god woojin ur so nosy what gives

the better pink sausage: and guanlin i have you saved as “maknae linnie”

hwihwi: what about me

linlin: awww <3

the better pink sausage: daehwi

hwihwi: im… somewhat offended that you don’t think i deserve a nickname

chamsae: what about me

chamsae: your bestest most trusted most lovable friend in the entire universe

the better pink sausage: dat bitch

chamsae:

tteongwu: LOLLLLLLL IS IT REALY

chamsae: k well brb gonna change my love hoonie to something classier <3

***

nielmoyed: friendly reminder

nielmoyed: now that jihoon has black hair everyone else is irrelevant

nielmoyed: 

blackhairjihoon

nielmoyed: aint he so precious <3

the better pink sausage: aww babe <3

mandu: wow déjà vu much ?  

chamsae: accents on point lol

gallyang: not this again

yoonjumma: at least niel isn’t like

yoonjumma: screaming about it

nielmoyed: and now we match! <3 <3 <3

the better pink sausage: yeeee ~ <3 <3 <3

pearjin: the couple that changes hair colors together stays together … ?

cloudy by yui: im seeing waaayyy too many hearts yall need to stop

cloudy by yui: also

cloudy by yui: im glad someone deemed jihoon snakeworthy enough to be put in slytherin

cloudy by yui: bout time someone set the record straight

tteongwu: step aside bitch onglin are taking over

tteongwu:

onglin

tteongwu:

onglin2

linlin: ahh hyung we look so cute! ~ <3

cloudy by yui: k even i have to agree

cloudy by yui: linlin you are so fucking precious

gallyang: agreed

mandu: awww yall are cuteee :D

yoonjumma: my skin is clear

yoonjumma: my grades are thriving

hwihwi: i am here for this guanlin hype

pearjin: lol seongwoo hyung get rekt

tteongwu: i aint even mad tho ???

chamsae: arent we all

chamsae: you aint special daehwi

hwihwi: why you gotta attack me im literally doing nothing

chamsae: just felt like it lol

hwihwi: i hate you

hwihwi: im calling donghyun hyung to whoop your ass

Chapter Text

daniel added sungwoon, jisung, minhyun, guanlin, seongwoo, woojin, daehwi, jinyoung

daniel renamed the group JIHOON’S AND JAEHWAN’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

daniel changed his nickname to team leader

 

team leader: HI EVERYONE :D

sungwoon: ugh

seongwoo: sksksksk wait this is kinda cute wtf im throwing up sugar

minhyun: no one’s even said anything yet lol

woojin: hyung why are you always throwing up

woojin: are you ok

sungwoon: i refuse to be part of any group where daniel is leader sorry not sorry

woojin: (rhetoricle question)

team leader: hyunggg >:(

jisung: AWW DANIEL THIS IS SO SWEET

minhyun: HYUNG PLS NOTHINGS HAPPENED YET

seongwoo: sungwoon hyung you are very welcome to leave :)

sungwoon: k well now im gonna stay just to spite you <3

seongwoo: frick

daehwi: can we talk about how woojin misspelled rehtorical

daehwi: wait fuck

woojin: tfw you try your best but you don’t succeed ~

daehwi: MY AUTOCORRECT CLOCK ED OUT EARLY WHAT IS THIS BS

minhyun: ok but daniel was there any reason why you waited until /now/

minhyun: like

minhyun: jaehwan’s bday is literally in two days

guanlin: IM SO EXCITED AHHH :D

minhyun: im already stressed

woojin: same

team leader: hyung ive been busy ????

team leader: and none of you were gonna do it anyway so like

sungwoon: hey that’s not true i was totes gonna throw something for our pig baby

sungwoon: but then it hought aobut how much work itd take and was like nah bruhhhh

daehwi: #yikes

seongwoo: pig baby lol

team leader: im telling jihoon

seongwoo: FU CK

seongwoo: NO DANIEL WAIT AHHSLDFJ;AS

seongwoo: JIHOON IF YOURE READING THIS DON’T KILL ME ITS ALL SUNGWOON HYUNGS FAULT LOL ILY

team leader: oy

woojin: lol sungwoon hyung way to leave out jaehwan hyung

sungwoon: meh

jisung: so whats the plan

team leader: oh idk lmao

jisung: what

team leader: see hyung that’s where you come in

jisung: i repeat

jisung: what

team leader: haha so like

team leader: ive never thrown a surprise party before ??

team leader: so i need y’all to help a bro out

seongwoo: wow

seongwoo: arent you useful

team leader: shut up ong at least i /know/ what jihoon likes

team leader: and hwan is like my best bro so

woojin: k but like

woojin: same ??? you aint special

team leader: hey woojin :)))

team leader: wanna come over her eand say it to my face :))))

woojin: no ur face is ugly bye

jinyoung: tfw the kettle calls the pot black or however the saying goes lol

woojin:

seongwoo: ha woojin get rekt

daehwi: have y’all bought presents yet

sungwoon: lmao no

minhyun: he’s so proud

minhyun: god bless him

sungwoon: yo can i say the fans gave the presents on my behalf

jisung: sungwoon :( be nice

sungwoon: ick

sungwoon: that sounds painful

sungwoon: no ty

jinyoung: ha im better than sungwoon hyung

sungwoon: yeah better at contouring L O L

daehwi: whatd you buy

jinyoung: bish im not telling

daehwi: TELL YOU OVERCOOKED POTATO OR ELSE WE MIGHT ALL GET THE SAME THING

minhyun: overcooked potato lol

jinyoung: mmmm idk i don’t trust our telepathy that much

sungwoon: lol true y’all suck

seongwoo: how do you even overcook a potato.

daehwi: jinyoungie :)))

woojin: uh oh

woojin: do it jinyoung

woojin: daehwi is vicious when angry

seongwoo: :\ see guanlin this is why you’re my favorite

guanlin: aww hyung <3

seongwoo: <3

guanlin: ur my favorite too

jisung: i

seongwoo: HA YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS

seongwoo: TAKE THAT LOSERS

jisung: so this is what betrayal feels like

guanlin: no wait

jisung: guanlin. i practically r a i s e d you. and this is how you repay me.

guanlin: nuuuu hyung ily too ;~~~~; don’t hate me

woojin: jisung hyung wth don’t make our baby cry

team leader: hyung now look what you did tsk

jisung: daniel i am this close to dropkicking your ass

jisung: don’t think i won’t

team leader: k but back to the topic! ‼

woojin: lol

minhyun: maybe we could have a private party at that restaurant you guys like?

team leader: omg wait that’s actually not a bad idea

minhyun: “actually”

team leader: hyung this is why i love you

minhyun: yeah well

minhyun: everyone loves me

minhyun: :)

sungwoon: i hate how true this is

jinyoung: hi im back from the war

daehwi: jinyoung’s gift isn’t even that great y’all

daehwi: i almost feel bad for flipping my shit on him for nothing

jinyoung: yH WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO R00D YOU GRAPEFRUIT IT WAS JUST RAMEN ARE YOU HAPPY

seongwoo: don’t you know im human too ~

jisung: our insults are very … colorful today

woojin: RAMEN OMG JINYOUNG ARE YOU SERIOUS WHAT KIND OF CHEAPASS

jinyoung: don’t @ me ok its jihoon’s favorite ramen

jinyoung: i bet you don’t even know what it is so there

woojin: as the other half of bunssodan this is a psa

woojin: it literally does not matter what brand he eats HE EATS EVERYTHING YOU WOODCHIP

team leader: lol

team leader: also ong your not a human

seongwoo: true shit im a god wassup

team leader: ehhhhhh

team leader: i was gonna say demon but w/e hades is a god right

team leader: cuz you look dead enough to be him lol

seongwoo: if i were hades i would send undead spiders to chase you off a cliff <3

guanlin: daniel hyung what did you buy for jihoonie hyung

team leader: i want it to be a surprise linnie ^^

team leader: but it’ll be the best present don’t worry

sungwoon: i bet he hasn’t even bought the present yet hes just bluffin

woojin: daniel-hyung: *sweats nervously*

team leader: :)

***

my niel: hi :)

my hoonie:

my hoonie: your up to something

my niel: no im not

my hoonie: yes bitch you are

my niel: no?? im not ???

my hoonie: :) sure sweetie

my niel: WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME

my niel: you wound me D<

my niel: and i am NOT up to anything

my hoonie:

***

jihoonie: guanlin

linlin: hi~

jihoonie: lol hi

jihoonie: is daniel planning something for me

linlin: ?

jihoonie: i’ll cuddle with you tonight if you tell

linlin: um

***

linnie: HYUNG HELP

favorite hyung: what is it

linnie: jihoon hyung wants to know if daniel hyung is planning something for him and promised cuddles if i told him

favorite hyung: oh my god

favorite hyung: that little snake

linnie: :( i don’t wanna ruin daniel hyung’s surprise

linnie: but JIHOONIE CUDDLES ARE THE BEST

favorite hyung:

favorite hyung: are you sure im your favorite hyung

linnie: omg yes hyung ily you’ll always be my favorite

linnie: but jihoon hyung is so squishy and i haven’t cuddled him in ages

favorite hyung: lord help me

favorite hyung: curse the demon and his squishiness

linnie: :(

favorite hyung: no stay strong guanlin

favorite hyung: don’t give into the pressure

favorite hyung: deep breaths

linnie: ok

favorite hyung: good

favorite hyung: now

favorite hyung: stick to the plan

favorite hyung: and ill let you cuddle me later ok?

linnie: <3 okayyy

linnie: got it

linnie: ok

linnie: thanks hyung~ <3

favorite hyung: good luck soldier

***

linlin: no

linlin: he’s not

jihoonie: lol

linlin: ?

jihoonie: nice try young one

linlin: what

jihoonie: i already bribed woojin to tell me about the surprise party

linlin: WHAT

linlin: NOOO WOOJIN HYUNG HOW COULD YOU

linlin: :( daniel hyung had the whole night planned out and everything

linlin: it was gonna be great

jihoonie: HA I KNEW IT

jihoonie: A SURPRISE PARTY LMAO DANIEL PLS

linlin: ????

jihoonie: sry guanlin ily but you trust me too much

jihoonie: i didn’t actually ask woojin yet

linlin: ……

jihoonie: LOL  

linlin: …………. i don’t like you anymore

jihoonie: LOL im sorry nooo come back

linlin: i don’t want your cuddles anymore.

jihoonie: im actually crying this is too funny

linlin: you suck

jihoonie: im sorry ~ ^^;;

linlin: seongwoo hyung would never do me wrong like this.

jihoonie: but now ik my boyfriend is the sweetest thing in the world and now i have to thank him for the “surprise” hehe

linlin: UGHHH

linlin: YOU TRICKED ME PARK JIHOON

linlin: I WILL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN

***

JIHOON’S AND JAEHWAN’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

team leader added my hoonie

team leader changed my hoonie’s nickname to new phone who dis

sungwoon: wait what

jisung: ???????????

new phone who dis: sup

team leader: fun’s over folks

team leader: guanlin blew our cover D<

daehwi: LOLLLL GUANLIN WYD

jinyoung: welp

seongwoo: HOL D TF UP

seongwoo: IN HIS DEFENSE

team leader: >:(

seongwoo: that little bitch tricked our maknae into telling him

seongwoo: guanlin is innocent your honor

minhyun: the court calls guanlin to the stand

guanlin: :((((

minhyun: guanlin do you promise to tell the truth and nothing but the truth

sungwoon: oh ok lmao this got intense real quick

jinyoung: hyung don’t scare him

guanlin: yes your honor

jisung: HE’S SO CUTE

guanlin: :(

jisung: sorry carry on

minhyun: guanlin, would you like to tell the jury what happened

seongwoo: tell them guanlin

guanlin: well um

daehwi: objection

seongwoo: SHUT THE FUCK UP DAEHWI LET THE BOY SPEAK

woojin: damn lol

guanlin: so jihoon hyung asked if daniel hyung was planning anything and promised to cuddle me if i said yes

sungwoon: ahh motive for betrayal ….. the plot thickens …..

seongwoo: hyung. :)))

minhyun: SILENCE

seongwoo: ._.

minhyun: carry on

guanlin: and then i asked seongwoo hyung how to respond and he said to not tell him bc i knew how badly daniel wanted to surprise the hyungs so i said no

jisung: i cant believe this is actually happening lmao

jinyoung: same

guanlin: and then jihoon hyung said he had bribed woojin hyung to tell so i thought the surprise was off bc i thought woojin hyung ruined it already

sungwoon: *eats popcorn* damn woojin

woojin: wait what

daehwi: JIHOON HYUNG HAD AN ACCOMPLICE ? ?? 

woojin: WAIT WHAT NO HE DIDN’T

woojin: PARK JIHOON YOU BITC H I AM INNOCENT HOW DARE YOU DRAG ME INTO THIS FUCKERY

minhyun: ORDER IN THE COURT

new phone who dis: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

guanlin: so then jihoon hyung said that he tricked me and then i cried to seongwoo hyung and now we’re here

jisung: oh sweetie :(

guanlin: and i wanna say im really really sorry to daniel hyung :((( 

team leader: uh

guanlin: i feel really bad for ruining the surprise im sorry

jisung: GUANLIN DON’T CRY OMG

guanlin: can you forgive me? ;~~~~~~~;

team leader: … 

seongwoo: AS YOU CAN SEE YOUR HONOR

minhyun: seongwoo i will personally evict you if you speak out one more time

daehwi: omg please

jinyoung: this isn’t even real jesus

minhyun: thank you guanlin

minhyun: you may step down now

guanlin: [screenshot]

sungwoon: LMAOOOO OUR MAKNAE IS SALTY AF

new phone who dis: ok well

new phone who dis: in my defense

minhyun: i don’t remember calling you to the stand

new phone who dis: IN MY DEFENSE

minhyun: wow

new phone who dis: i would’ve found out anyway ??? if it wasn’t guanlin, daniel would’ve spilled the beans later so like ????

new phone who dis: i just sped up the process lol

team leader: tf no i wouldn’t

new phone who dis: uhh i think the fuck so babe

team leader: D<

sungwoon: so you admit to tricking guanlin

new phone who dis: sure lol but i would like to mention that i never /promised/ him cuddles

seongwoo: jihoon park.

new phone who dis: sEonGwOo oNg

seongwoo: i am so disappointed in you.

seongwoo: not for your blatant disrespect for your HYUNG but for manipulating a pure and innocent child

seongwoo: guanlin i will happily take over as main cuddler from now on

seongwoo: bc SOMEONE doesn’t deserve you

guanlin: no :( he doesn’t :((

daehwi: damn lol you know its serious when guanlin is the one saying it

minhyun: alright well does the plaintiff have anything to add

minhyun:

minhyun: daniel that’s you

team leader: oh

sungwoon: smh

team leader: uhh well

guanlin: ;~~~;

team leader: firstly i would like to forgive guanlin bc i do believe he wasn’t acting out of malice and while i’m still sad that i couldn’t surprise my boyfriend for his special day i realize that in the end he ruined the surprise for himself

team leader: i hate you btw

team leader: kindly eat a pillow thx

new phone who dis: <3

sungwoon: objection your honor: sappy shit ???

minhyun: overruled. carry on.

team leader: um i also drop the charges against guanlin lai or whatever yeah

jinyoung: … can he do that

jisung: GUANLIN IS FREE YAYYYYYYY

minhyun: ok well the jury has spoken

woojin: WAIT WHAT NO IT HASN’T

woojin: HYUNG WTF DO I NOT GET A SAY IN THIS

woojin: I WAS FRAMED

minhyun: i sentence park jihoon to do whatever guanlin says for the next two days

new phone who dis: lmao hyung you think i’ll stick to that ?

minhyun: failure to do so will result in getting NONE of our bday presents until the sentence has been served

new phone who dis: ….. shit.

woojin: THROW HIM IN THE CELLAR HYUNG WHAT THE F

woojin: DON’T BE LENIENT I WAS FRAMED I TELL YOU  //FRAMED//

minhyun: denied.

woojin: F CU K

minhyun: court is adjourned. im going to sleep.

woojin: ughhhHHHHHH PARK JIHOON SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN I WILL GET YOU BACK I SWEAR

daehwi: can someone turn him off

jinyoung: bump

seongwoo: guanlin do you wanna watch a movie with me

seongwoo: hyung will let you pick the movie ok? we can have a mini sleepover

guanlin: ok hyung :(

seongwoo: <3

sungwoon: eh

sungwoon: not bad

sungwoon: could use more drama but id watch it again

sungwoon: 7/10

Chapter Text

JIHOON’S AND JAEHWAN’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

team leader renamed the group to JAEHWAN’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

team leader: so

team leader: i have a plan

sungwoon: not again

minhyun: ugh im still stressed

jisung: me too

sungwoon: im not sober enough for this

minhyun: what

new phone who dis: no guys seriously it’s a good plan i promise

woojin: big talk coming from a SN AKE like yourself

daehwi: oh my god shut UP hyung no one cares about how you were used for jihoon hyung’s nefarious deeds

jinyoung: so whats the plan

sungwoon: w/e it is i hope it doesn’t involve baking

minhyun: ?? where ?? did that even come from

sungwoon: im just sayin

sungwoon: you wont catch me in a burning building

sungwoon: no sir no way

team leader: relax im buying a cake

team leader: or i guess jihoon is buying the cake but whatever

team leader: ANYWAY S

team leader: so we all know how jihoon ruined the surprise bday party right

guanlin: yeah >:(

new phone who dis: guanlin~ i said i was sorry~

seongwoo: don’t trust the snake linnie

seongwoo: we’ve learned from our mistakes

guanlin: YEAH

sungwoon: its so cute seeing guanlin get all upset idk why

woojin: its bc he looks like this

woojin:

siA7C

sungwoon: TRUE

team leader: OM G CAN YOU ALL SHUT UP AND /NOT/ GO OFF ? ??? THANK YOU

jisung: everyone listen

team leader: oK so the plan is to surprise jaehwan in a little more than 24 hours with a party

team leader: thanks to the only useful member in this group aka minhyun hyung

jisung: uhHH ???????

team leader: we have a private room reserved at the ramen place jihoon and i go to

sungwoon: classy.

new phone who dis: you know what hyung :))

sungwoon: omg CHILL why must you take everything negatively

woojin: gee i wonder

minhyun: id like to clarify that i told our manager about this and then he reserved the place.

minhyun: not me.

minhyun: but go on.

daehwi: hyung your use of periods scares me

minhyun: good.

woojin: k so how do we surprise him

team leader: take it away babe

seongwoo: suddenly i cant read ha ha ?

new phone who dis: hyung your not funny go away

woojin: ** you’re

guanlin: i think you’re funny hyung <3

seongwoo: i think i’m funny too lin-ah

seongwoo: jihoon how does it feel being irrelevant

daniel has added sewoon

sewoon: oh

jisung: OH MY GOD PONYO :D

sewoon: lol daniel hyung i didn’t think you meant right away

sungwoon: SEWOONIEEEEE

sewoon: welp this is happening

sewoon: hello everyone

seongwoo: HI SEWOON

daehwi: sewoon hyung hiiiiii~

sewoon: hello!

woojin: hi sewoon hyung

sewoon: hi woojin!

woojin: why don’t you like me

jinyoung: HI SEWOON HYUNG

jinyoung: oh lol you have good taste

sewoon: wait woojin what i never said that ?

woojin: YES YOU DID YOUNGMIN HYUNG SAID SO :((((

jisung: im lost

seongwoo: same

sewoon: … right.

sewoon: youngmin hyung said so therefore it MUST be true.

woojin: ……..

team leader: lol i live for sassy sewoon

minhyun: hello sewoon!

sewoon: hello~

sewoon: so this is the chat where we plan to make jaehwanie hyung cry?

team leader: YEP :D

jisung: well arent we a happy group of sadists

sewoon: can i add ydpp

sewoon: err i guess ydp

daehwi: omggg family reunion

team leader: go for it

woojin: do it hyung. i need to scream at youngmin hyung.

sewoon: k one sec

sungwoon: oh god

minhyun: wait does this mean we need to change our reservation

sungwoon: lol looks like it

minhyun: :))))

minhyun: brb

sewoon has added gwanghyun, donghyun, youngmin

donghyun: sewoon hyung wth why are there so many people oh my god

youngmin: sewoon why

gwanghyun: hello

woojin: YOUNGMIN HYUNG WHY DID YOU TELL ME SEWOON HYUNG DIDN’T LIKE ME

youngmin: … i don’t remember ever saying that

donghyun: no srsly why are there so many of you

team leader: donghyun its just wanna one + ydpp – jaehwan

jinyoung: ew math

daehwi: hyung don’t listen to woojin

youngmin: trust me i wasn’t

woojin: IM-

daehwi: wait why am i siding with you i just remembered you like woojin more than me soooooo

youngmin has left JAEHWAN’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

woojin: SKKSKSKSKKSKKKS DAEHWI YOU SALTY BIH

daehwi: OH LOOK WHOS TALKING ??

gwanghyun added youngmin

youngmin: *sighs* why

minhyun: hi im back

minhyun: turns out manager did book a large room bc he knew this would happen lol

minhyun: anyway continue

jisung: OK EVERYONE LISTEN TO JIHOON PLS AND TY

team leader: ^ what he said

new phone who dis: ty hyung

new phone who dis: K SO

new phone who dis: HI EVERYONE WELCOME TO THE ‘MAKE JAEHWAN HYUNG CRY’ PROJECT

woojin: *applause*

sungwoon: yas

new phone who dis: so for our lovely hyung’s bday i thought itd be a good idea for us to do a hidden camera type thing

woojin: ooh hype

new phone who dis: woojin shush

woojin: >:(

new phone who dis: so the plan is for you all to make a group chat w/o me in it

new phone who dis: wanna one – me

new phone who dis: for all you math peeps out there

youngmin: um where’s ydpp in this equation

new phone who dis: divided by zero idk

youngmin: what

new phone who dis: k so you all are gonna pretend that the surprise bday party is for me and if jaehwan is human (still figuring this out brb) he’ll get upset at how you guys are planning a party for only me and not for him too

new phone who dis: but knowing him he wont actually say anything bc hes like super nice or whatever

new phone who dis: so you alls job is to provoke him @sungwoon @seongwoo

new phone who dis: and then depending on how he reacts, we’ll go from there

new phone who dis: ill go pick up the cake while you guys set up for “my” party

new phone who dis: and please make sure he actually shows up

new phone who dis: like

new phone who dis: i can’t emphasize that enough lol

new phone who dis: and then we all surprise him and tell him we love him and all that jazz

new phone who dis: sound good?

team leader: this was all my idea btw

team leader: just wanted to throw that out there lmao

minhyun: i’m in

sungwoon: w00t i get a chance to piss off jaehwan im totes here for it

sungwoon: (with love ofc)

woojin: ick

gwanghyun: ahhhh im excited!

daehwi: me too :D

donghyun: gwanghyun chill we’re not the ones doing the provoking lol

gwanghyun: D: well at least we get free food!

youngmin: lol true

sewoon: i cant even imagine gwanghyun being not fluffy

youngmin: also true

woojin: i bet 5000 won that he’ll cry

jinyoung: is this even something to bet we KNOW hes gonna cry

jinyoung: if not from the surprise then from how angry he’ll be later lol

daehwi: lol true

seongwoo: ok everyone prepare your bitchy microaggressions and passive agressive personalities

seongwoo: aka your usual personalities

jisung: wow

sungwoon: yo im so hype this is gonna be great

team leader: making the group chat now! :D

***

daniel added jisung, sungwoon, minhyun, seongwoo, jaehwan, woojin, daehwi, jinyoung, guanlin

daniel renamed the group JIHOON’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

daniel: HI EVERYONE

seongwoo: omg whats this

daehwi: idk hyung its not like its written in the title or anything

seongwoo: whomst

daniel: HIII GUYS

daniel: SO

daniel: as you all know my precious baby’s birthday is in a few days so i wanna surprise him ^^

daehwi: ooh i love surprises ^^

woojin: … hyung you suck at surprises

daniel: >:(

daniel: woojin be supportive for once in your miserable life

daniel: god i hate that my son shares the same name as you

daniel: like im reminded of you every time i see him and like ??? no

jinyoung: what do you want us to do hyung

daniel: see that’s where you come in!

jisung: … im getting like major déjà vu from this convo

sungwoon: omg same

daniel:

minhyun: guys its just daniel being daniel he desperately needs our help ok

daniel: as ive said before minhyun hyung is the only relevant member of wanna one other than jihoon

daniel: and me

daniel: but that’s beside the point lmao

seongwoo: hmm suddenly i dont wanna help anymore ?? does anyone feel the same way ???

woojin: *raises hand*

daehwi: guys be nice we’re doing this for jihoon hyung

guanlin: FOR JIHOON <3

daniel: yeah so do any of you losers have any ideas

sungwoon: as long as theres alcohol im down for whatever

jisung: oh dear

daniel: omg for once i agree with sungwoon hyung

sungwoon: haha don’t make it a habit xoxo

jinyoung: we could do a skit?

seongwoo: YES

seongwoo: DOWN

seongwoo: I CALL MAIN LEAD

daehwi: wouldn’t jihoon hyung be main lead tho

seongwoo: no? lol in what universe would he be a lead

daniel: oh idk how about my universe ?? :))

seongwoo: *throws up*

woojin: again with the throwing up

woojin: hyung do you need a doctor

guanlin: seongwoo hyung don’t die :(

daehwi: what kind of skit were you thinking hyung

jinyoung: we could write one?

jisung: in three days ??? LMAO i don’t think so

woojin: can i write jihoon as a troll

seongwoo: do it

seongwoo: and then make me the valiant prince who defeats said troll

sungwoon: id watch it

daniel: GUYS IDEAS PLS

minhyun: idk we could like

minhyun: make a cute video for him and play it during movie night?

jisung: minhyun always has the best ideas omg

daniel: like i said

daniel: if anything happened to jisung hyung we’d be fine :)

jisung:

jisung: im gonna disown you one of these days

daniel: <3

sungwoon: yo wheres jaehwan

minhyun: yea jaehwan we need you

daniel: JAEHWAN BRO WHERE YOU BE

sungwoon: WHERE YOU AT

sungwoon: dub dub dub dub dub

sungwoon: dub dub dub dub dub dub dub

jinyoung: hyung idt it was dubstep …

sungwoon: dub dub dub dub dub

jisung: leave him be

minhyun: i feel offended that you think “where you at” was dubstep

seongwoo: …… who wants to tell him

daehwi: hard pass

sungwoon: shut up uglies i KNOW its not dubstep but how do i even edm in chat

minhyun: seongwoo. :)

seongwoo: yeet

minhyun: you can bet your nonexistent ass that i’ll perform “where you at” as soon as the clock hits 2019 and then you can shove those words up said nonexistent ass

daniel:

daehwi: why do i feel like that’s the crudest thing minhyun hyung has ever said

seongwoo: you know minhyunie your fixation with my ass is uncanny :)

seongwoo: ill be sure to let jjuyah know :)

guanlin: who’s jjuyah?

jisung: jonghyun

guanlin: ohh

minhyun: ah ha ha :)

minhyun: brb guys i need to do something

daehwi: ok now this really feels familiar

daniel: omG CAN WE NOT KILL EACH OTHER YET I HAVE A BOYFRIEND TO SURPRISE

sungwoon: omg jaehwan isn’t even being subtle lmao

woojin: LOL HES STILL NOT RESPONDING

woojin: HYUNG WYD

jaehwan has left JIHOON’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

minhyun added jaehwan

minhyun: ???

jaehwan has left JIHOON’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

sungwoon added jaehwan

sungwoon: yo what are you doing

jaehwan has left JIHOON’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

minhyun added jaehwan

minhyun: oh no you don’t

jaehwan: for fucks sake

daniel: ok what is your problem

jaehwan: omg so like

jaehwan: do none of y’all have tact or something

daniel: ? ?? wdym

jaehwan: y’all aren’t doing some hidden camera thing right

minhyun: no? unless we’re doing it for jihoon later ?

daehwi: i’m confused

jinyoung: same

jaehwan: … really.

jisung: jaehwan what’s wrong

jaehwan: nothing hyung :)

seongwoo: no offense but it sounds like something’s wrong

jaehwan has left JIHOON’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

seongwoo: dis bitch

seongwoo added jaehwan

jaehwan: UGH WHY CANT YOU BITCHES LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS JFC

daniel: uhhh? because youre part of the group and its for my boyfriend ???

jaehwan: right.

jaehwan: because everything in the world revolves around you and your boyfriend.

daniel: ok srsly WHAT is your damage we’re not doing anything

jaehwan: why is it so hard to understand that maybe i DON’T wanna take part in whatever the hell this is huh

jaehwan: like yeah we’re with each other 24/7 and maybe you wanna make it 25/7 but guess what I DON’T

jaehwan: like are we not allowed to be by ourselves anymore ????

woojin: hyung chill its really not that deep

minhyun: jaehwan we’re just trying to do something nice for jihoon

minhyun: there’s really no reason to lose your cool

jaehwan: ha.

minhyun: are you and jihoon fighting

jaehwan: hA as if

jaehwan: no hyung jihoon and i are just fine :)

minhyun: then why don’t you wanna help us celebrate his bday?

jaehwan: see because hes more popular and loved by the world /he/ gets the special treatment right?

jaehwan: his bday gets to be celebrated but mine doesn’t?

jaehwan: number 2 gets everything but number 4 gets shit is that it?

daehwi: hyung calm down

sungwoon: is that what this is about

sungwoon: jesus what about me and my number 11

jaehwan: don’t tell me to calm down daehwi i am fucking livid alright

jaehwan: i fucking beat mr. ong seongwoo over here and i worked my ASS off and i get shit compared to him

jaehwan: don’t think i don’t know about the ongnielhwang posts everyone loves to make because apparently im too ugly to join your squad

seongwoo: hey

seongwoo: cool it, alright? we’re not saying you didn’t work hard ok? what about daniel, do you think he /doesn’t/ work hard? the man is on the verge of fainting every damn day.

seongwoo: and sungwoon hyung is right. if anyone gets shit, it’s not you, it’s him.

seongwoo: literally no one brought up your looks except you and right now you’re sounding a little like a spoiled brat and it’s starting to piss me off.

seongwoo: this was supposed to be about jihoon, not you.

jaehwan: HA HAHAHA OH SURE OK ALL OF A SUDDEN IM HURTING YOUR FEELINGS ??? MY BAD I SHOULD HAVE BEEN MORE CONSIDERATE SILLY ME

sungwoon: ok actually did you eat something weird or something? none of us did anything and now you’re ruining our plans to do something nice for our TEAMMATE

sungwoon: just say you don’t care about jihoon’s bday and go

sungwoon: we don’t need your negativity around here lol

jaehwan: ha. funny.

jaehwan: because i was just about to do that until y’all brought me back in FOUR FUCKING TIMES.

jaehwan: why don’t you all learn to take a fucking hint.

jaehwan has left JIHOON’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

 

daniel: …… is he gone

sungwoon: obviously

daniel: HALLELUJAH I CAN BREATHE OH MY GOD THAT WAS TOO INTENSE

daniel: A+ BITCHY ACTING SEONGWOO HYUNG ILY

seongwoo: why ty :)

sungwoon: umm hello i think i deserve an oscar for my performance ??

daehwi: you all did great ;~;

guanlin: i couldn’t say anything once you guys started to argue ;~~~~;

jinyoung: omg same daehwi and i were just reading the chats like o_____o

minhyun: ugh thank god that’s over

jisung: daniel is jihoon with you

daniel: yep!

daniel: hi this is jihoon first of all woojin fuck you im prettier as a troll than you are as a human

daniel: second of all seongwoo hyung i would kick your ass and you know it kbye

sungwoon: ahem not that he has an ass to begin with but w/e

seongwoo:

guanlin: guys is jaehwan hyung ok? he seemed really upset just then :(

jisung: yea actually that was pretty … charged im actually kinda worried

daniel has added sewoon, youngmin, donghyun, gwanghyun

daniel renamed the group JAEHWAN’S BDAY SURPRISE PARTY <3

gwanghyun: HOW DID IT GO

youngmin: did you just

youngmin: make another version of our other chat wth

seongwoo: daniel’s just weird don’t question it

donghyun: did it work

sungwoon: i’d say it did :) we currently have one very pissed jaehwan so operation ‘make jaehwan cry’ is going full speed ahead

jisung: well

jisung: jaehwan just left to go to the practice room but yeah what he said

sewoon: damn

sewoon: lol i didn’t think it’d work

daniel: sewoon whyy :(

sewoon: idk maybe it was easier since y’all were just chatting but if you did it irl ik for a fact you would have cracked

seongwoo: unless you’re me that is

jisung: yeah daniel would’ve lost quick if we were acting irl

donghyun: what did you guys say

sungwoon: [screenshot]

sungwoon: [screenshot]

sungwoon: [screenshot]

sungwoon: [screenshot]

sungwoon: [screenshot]

youngmin: oh shit

gwanghyun: ;~;

donghyun: you know a lot of it just seems to be him acting up and you guys responding instead of the other way around

minhyun: yea but we kinda had to push him i.e. be annoying and add him back to the chat four times

sewoon: well it worked …

woojin: ok but now is the hard part :\\

daniel: yeah now is where our REAL acting begins

daniel: jaehwan will probs avoid us tomorrow which will make it a little easier but DON’T BRING ATTENTION TO YOURSELVES KEEP BEING RUDE AND ALL THAT

jisung: welp yall can catch me in my room lol i aint dealing with an angry jaehwan

daehwi: if we do that hes gonna be so sad omg :(( and on his bday too :((

woojin: also how are we gonna get jaehwan to come to the restaurant

guanlin: yeah :(((

minhyun: leave it to me

minhyun: i’ll talk to him tomorrow

minhyun: you all just focus on getting things set up for the party (and not blowing the surprise @jihoon)

seongwoo: jihoon do it i dare you :)))

minhyun: AND BUY YOUR GIFTS IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY

seongwoo: oh shit yeah hah aha

daehwi: imma make him a card

guanlin: i wanna help! :D

daehwi: okies :3

daehwi: make sure y’all sign it tomorrow

daniel: YAY GOOD WORK TEAM <3

***

“Jaehwan?”

Minhyun hesitantly knocked on the closed door to the practice room. It was nearing 8:00 p.m., which meant the trainers had all gone home for the night. A handful of trainees occupied the other practice rooms, and Minhyun could hear the singers belting and rapping their hearts out from a few doors down.

Although faint, he picked up the sad guitar strings being plucked from the inside, quieting down to silence in response to Minhyun’s knocking. The singular window was covered with Jaehwan’s jacket, isolating the singer even more from the outside world.

According to Sungwoon (who just so happened to be up at that time), Jaehwan hadn’t come back to the dorm until 3:00 in the morning. Wanna One had a schedule starting at 7:00, which meant Jaehwan was running on four hours of sleep and an empty stomach apart from maybe a pack of ramen. Naturally, after their “argument”, Jaehwan had avoided the other members as best he could, and even some of the staff had picked up on it (but a quick word from their manager had them chuckling quietly off to the side). After their activities had ended for the day, Jaehwan didn’t even stop by their dorm to rest; he just locked himself in the practice room again.

“Jaehwan, I know you’re in there. Talk to me?”

He heard a faint thump on the door and guessed that Jaehwan was leaning back on it.

“Go away, hyung,” Jaehwan rasped out, his voice slightly sore from singing (and crying).

“No, I need to talk to you. The others are worried about you.”

Jaehwan scoffed bitterly. “Yeah. Sure.”

Minhyun pressed a palm to the door. “Come on, Jaehwan, don’t be like this. We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Jaehwan continued to play, another sorrowful melody being born from his fingertips. “I’m okay, hyung. Now will you leave me alone?”

Minhyun sighed, slowly becoming desperate. “Have you eaten?”

Jaehwan stopped playing again, as if he was contemplating lying to the elder even though Minhyun knew the answer. “I’m not hungry.”

“Now I know that’s a damn lie. When did you last eat something that wasn’t a snack?”

If Minhyun strained his ears, he would’ve heard Jaehwan push a half-opened bag of chips further away from the door.

“Let me in.”

Jaehwan, too tired to argue, opened the door slightly, peeking out to glare at his teammate through the crack before letting the door catch in Minhyun’s hand. Minhyun almost let out a sigh of relief. They were making progress.

“Are you here to lecture me?” Jaehwan asked, sitting down on the opposite side of the practice room. “On my birthday?” he sneered.

Minhyun held back a laugh. Petty Jaehwan was still cute.

“No, I’m not,” he said. “I’m just doing my job as your teammate.” He stared disdainfully at the bag of chips lying haphazardly to the side.

“Right. Of course.” Jaehwan turned back to the guitar, playing the same notes as before.

Minhyun was walking on eggshells. The other Wanna One members had done a good job of making Jaehwan feel like shit the entire day. (Sewoon had even shared a screenshot of an angry rant Jaehwan had sent him earlier, which brought a few laughs out of the members.) The braver members, i.e. Jihoon, Seongwoo, and Sungwoon, made it obvious that they were “angry” with Jaehwan whenever he was in the room by glaring or outright scowling at him when he came close to them. Minhyun was part of the “I’m not dealing with this shit” group and just avoided Jaehwan whenever he could, which was extremely difficult during their schedules.

It was a tiring day for all of them.

“Look, Jaehwan…” Minhyun started and earned a glare from the younger, forcing him to stop. He was going to go into a spiel about how the members were just stressed and Jaehwan’s outburst had set fire to the gasoline, but seeing Jaehwan’s reddened eyes that looked on the verge of another waterworks show sharply diverted his choice of words.

“Uh…you need to eat,” he finished lamely. “Do you want to go get something with me?” Please say yes, oh my God. Anyone could tell Jaehwan wasn’t in the mood to do anything except mope, but Minhyun kept pushing. “I’ll pay~”, he said with a cheeky smile, knowing the golden rule that the only thing better than food, was free food.

Jaehwan flared his nostrils, but chuckled – Yes, good! This is good! – “You drive a hard bargain.” He set his guitar to the side, his fingertips becoming a little sore by now. He leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them to stare pointedly at the other man. “Just so you know,” he began, “I wasn’t completely in the wrong.”

No argument there, Minhyun thought, but he had to play the part. He silently beckoned the other to continue, already guessing what Jaehwan would say.

“Fine, I admit that blowing up and attacking you guys wasn’t cool, and…” He sighed, clearly reluctant, but willing to be the bigger person. “I promise I’ll apologize for it later.” He fiddled with his fingers in his lap, the nervous energy coming forth in waves. He flicked his gaze back to Minhyun (who almost flinched).

“But you know, it also wasn’t cool for you all to act like I was the fucking plague today. Especially on my birthday?” He scoffed. “Extra not cool. You know, the only ‘Happy Birthday’ I got today was from Sewoon, so pardon me for being a bit of a bitch.” He paused before quickly adding, “And the fans, too, of course.”

“Right. Makes sense…” Minhyun muttered. God, why did they send him to do this? Why couldn’t they send Seongwoo or Sungwoon?

“I dunno, I guess I just felt super insecure that day and then when you all did that, I just…felt attacked?” Jaehwan laughed, even though there wasn’t anything too funny about it. “And then all throughout today, I felt horrible because I know Daniel was just trying to do something nice for Jihoon, and then I felt super awful because I should be celebrating Jihoon’s birthday too, even if I felt shafted.” He sighed, relieved to finally spill forth what he had kept inside the entire day. “I know it wasn’t right to lash out like that, so I could see why everyone is like…wary around me today.”

“It was a natural reaction,” Minhyun tried to console the other as he took out his phone to check the time. It was well past 8:00 – The others should be ready by now! – so he decided to take action.

“Hey,” he suddenly stood up. “Let’s go.” Jaehwan looked up in question. “It’s late and you need to eat something.”  

Jaehwan smiled, “I guess.”

Minhyun glared playfully, “No, you know. You already look thinner. Come on, get up.” He reached forward to hoist the smaller man up on his feet, glad to see the smile somewhat reach his eyes again.

“Isn’t that good? I heard the managers saying I need to diet again.”

“Shut up, stop, you’re perfect.” He knew Jaehwan was joking, but it never hurt to stop self-deprecation. The pair headed out. “Don’t forget your jacket.” (“I wasn’t going to, yeesh.”) “The fans love your cheeks, stupid, so don’t ever get rid of those.” We all love your cheeks,he wanted to say, but decided to save it for later.

“Yeah, I know. Anything for the fans.”

The pair made their way downstairs to where a van was waiting. One of the staff greeted them, and she and Minhyun shared a knowing glance as Jaehwan dove inside.

“Where to?” Jaehwan asked, actually glad to be having a proper meal in over 24 hours.

“I already told the manager where to go,” Minhyun said, closing the door.

“A birthday secret then? Alright, I got it,” Jaehwan settled, smiling as he looked out the window. For the first time that day, Minhyun could see Jaehwan was feeling better. Just you wait, he smiled at the thought of how everyone would be waiting for them to arrive.

“You’re still paying, right?”

“Is that even a question? Of course. Think of it as my birthday present to you,” Minhyun sent a meaningful gaze to the other. “Happy Birthday, Jaehwan.”

Jaehwan genuinely smiled, his cheeks coming up to his crescent-shaped eyes. “Thanks, hyung.”

The trip to the restaurant was fairly quick – Thank God – and Jaehwan looked around in awe once he got out of the van. “Have we been here before?”

Minhyun walked around to Jaehwan’s side, shaking his head with a smile and gently guiding him to the entrance. “Come on.”

As they entered, the two women at the counter easily recognized the superstars gracing their presence, sharing gasps and squeals as Minhyun walked up to them. “We have a reservation,” he said.

One of the women nodded and shakily guided the boys up to the reserved seating section at the top. “Please enjoy,” she said, and Minhyun waved to Jaehwan to hurry up. “Come on!”

“Why did we need such a big ro—”

“SURPRISE!”

Jaehwan stood there in shock as the Wanna One members (and YDPP?) suddenly surrounded him with not one, but two cakes sitting precariously in Daniel’s and Seongwoo’s hands. As they happily sang “Happy Birthday” – and he swore he could recognize Woojin’s screeching anywhere – he promptly burst into tears, covering his face with his hands as he was assaulted with pastry-cream-covered fingers.

“He’s crying!”

“Hyung, we’re sorry!”

“Guys, the cake!”

“Jaehwan’s Secret Camera…” Seongwoo shouted. “SUCCESS!”

“You all are so mean, why are you like this…” Jaehwan sobbed, feeling a dizzying mix of confusion, exasperation, and gratitude all at once. “I felt like shit the entire day because of you!” He whipped around to find a laughing Minhyun and exclaim, “You knew about this, didn’t you? Ahhh…”

“Hyung, don’t cry!” Daehwi lunged forward to wrap his lithe arms around his hyung’s shaking frame.  

“Happy birthday, hyung,” Jihoon stepped forward, reverting to his shy demeanor. “This is all for you. And it was Daniel’s idea, so…” The smaller boy took some cream off of Daniel’s cake and wiped it playfully across Jaehwan’s cheek.

“Make a wish, Jaehwan-ah!”

The birthday boy blinked away the tears blurring his vision as Seongwoo and Daniel brought their cakes forward, a shining candle on each. Jaehwan immediately blew them out. He didn’t need any wishes. He had everything he already wanted right in front of him.

Just thinking about it brought forth another wave of tears.

“Hyung, don’t cry…” Sewoon came around to wrap Jaehwan in a hug.

“Group hug!” Someone (probably Daniel) shouted and Jaehwan was quickly trapped in a tight cocoon of arms.

“Oh my God, guys, he’s gonna choke in there,” Jisung exclaimed. Jaehwan coughed as the circle broke apart, half from crying, and half from finally being able to breathe.

“Ahh,” he groaned pitifully as everyone laughed. “You all suck,” he said, wiping the stray tears from his eyes.

“Birthday speech!” Woojin exclaimed, and Jihoon whacked his arm to calm him down. Sungwoon, Daehwi, and Jinyoung chorused after the pink sausage, and soon everyone joined in, chanting, “Speech, speech, speech!”

Jaehwan chuckled before saying (while sniffling), “Uh, thank you all for this. I’m very thankful for all you’ve done. Ah, I can’t believe I fell for it, you guys deserve all the awards,” he said, and Seongwoo and Sungwoon shared a high-five.

“And uh, I’m sorry for what I said last night,” he said, choking up again as the other members chorused in denial.

“No, don’t be sorry!”

“We wanted you to say those things!”

“Yeah, it was all part of the plan!”

Jaehwan let out a watery laugh. Leave it to his members to be extra even now. “It still doesn’t excuse me from trying to hurt you all.”

He spread his arms open and said, “I love you all. And uh, today honestly sucked, and you all are the worst.” (“Hey, I wasn’t even that bad!”) “But just this right here has made it one of the best birthdays ever. Thanks to you guys.”

The boys let out a collective awwww~ before Guanlin lunged forward to wrap his tall body around his shorter hyung, eyes glittering with nothing short of admiration and wonder.

“Guys, get in here!” The maknae said, and once again Jaehwan found himself in a suffocatingly warm and stuffy hug.

“Guys, go eat, the food’s getting cold!” Minhyun shouted, and everyone immediately broke apart to grab what they could off the tables. Jaehwan sent a grateful glance to the other as he went to catch up with Youngmin.

Daniel, having set the cake down for Jisung to cut, walked over to his best friend and smiled. “Happy birthday, bro,” he said (in English), and wrapped him in a tight hug. “Sorry for making you cry back there,” he laughed his signature bunny-toothed laugh when Jaehwan shot him a joking glare.

“No wonder you all kept avoiding me today,” he remarked. His eyes wandered to the table with the chicken where a few of the members were chatting happily. “You really pulled through. The managers were in on it too, weren’t they?”

“Yeah,” Daniel sheepishly chuckled. “They were good about it, though.”

“Damn,” Jaehwan padded over to the cake table, helping himself to a plate. “So what about Jihoon? Were you really planning something for him?”

Daniel chuckled. “I was. But then the little brat found out about it. I was actually going to surprise you both, but Jihoon foiled that plan so we did the next best thing.”

“Ughh…” Jaehwan groaned. “I still feel bad for being so mean to you. I’m sorry,” Jaehwan went in for a one-armed hug.

“Eyy, don’t sweat it.” Daniel grabbed a napkin and began to wipe away the cream on Jaehwan’s face. “We expected that to happen, so you were doing us a favor!”

“I knew something was up, but it sounded so selfish, you know?” Daniel nodded. He knew Jaehwan was put in a tricky situation, but hey, all’s well that ends well, right? “Like I didn’t want to be the one to ruin my own hidden camera without coming off as some entitled prick.”

“Hey, it all worked out,” Daniel grinned at his friend. “When in doubt, blame Jihoon for being nosy.”

“Ugh, I can’t deal. Are you still doing something for him?”

“I already have,” Daniel smirked. “He thinks he got the last laugh, but I bought him a present I think he’ll truly love.”

Jaehwan raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a win for him though?”

Daniel pouted. “Doesn’t matter. He’ll still be surprised.”

Jaehwan laughed. “I hope he likes it.”

Daniel lightly bumped shoulders. “Your present is back at the dorm by the way.”

“Oh my God, you really didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Bullshit,” Daniel scoffed, earning an embarrassed laugh from his friend. “Daehwi and Guanlin made a card, too.”

Jaehwan puffed his cheeks in a pout. “You guys are too much.” As he looked around at his members eating good food, sharing a few laughs, and just having a good time, he couldn’t help the biggest smile from adorning his face.

“Guys, let’s take a group picture!”

“Where?”

“Kids, group picture!”

“Jaehwan-ah, come to the middle.”

“Ok!~”

“Short people in the front!”

“Hyung, that’s you.”

“Are we kneeling?”

“Guys, let’s do a set – serious, funny, and normal!”

“Noona, can you take this for us?”

“Guanlin, move in a bit!”

“Okay, everyone ready?”

“Wait, I need to pee.”

“Everyone good?”

“Wait, which pose are we doing first?”

“OKAY. READY. ONE. TWO. THREE.”

Yeah, Jaehwan thought. I think I’ll remember this forever.

Chapter Text

wanna burn down ymc (11)

nielmoyed: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE <3

cloudy by yui: yh hbd

yoonjumma: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIHOONIE

mandu: JIHOON DID YOU FIND MY PRESENT

hwihwi: ……we were hiding our presents?

chamsae: yeah daehwi get with it

hwihwi: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO MISSED THE MEMO

yoonjumma: no youre not but thanks for telling me before i gave him the gift

the better pink sausage: THANK YOU MY LOVE <3

the better pink sausage: @jaehwan yes. how could i not.

pearjin: whatd he get

the better pink sausage: something that actually lasts :)))

pearjin: DON’T ATTACK ME YOU STILL ATE THE RAMEN DIDN’T YOU

the better pink sausage: yes and it was delicious ty

pearjin: THAT’S RIGHT BE GRATEFUL HYUNG I SPENT MY HARD EARNED MONEY BUYING IT FOR YOU

gallyang: wait

gallyang: did you follow your sentence jihoon tell the truth

tteongwu: bitch better

tteongwu: also hi i just came back from buying your present you brat come and get it

cloudy by yui: when ur ready come and get it na na na na

nielmoyed: na na na na

cloudy by yui: na na na na

yoonjumma: oh my god

chamsae: shit now it’s stuck in my head help

tteongwu: ugh same

gallyang: jihoon…

the better pink sausage: um

gallyang: ugh

gallyang: guanlin?

linlin: ?

gallyang: did jihoon do what you asked him to do

linlin: oh right

linlin: haha i forgot about that

the better pink sausage: oh whew yay

gallyang: why do i even bother

tteongwu: hey judge can the sentence be revised to replace linnie with me :))

chamsae: wait what did jaehwan get

tteongwu: bc i will GLADLY accept

mandu: you, my friend, are missing a hyung :) wheres the damn respect

gallyang: i have retired don’t come looking for me

the better pink sausage: he got me a pillow with his face on it

linlin: omg hes pulling a seonho lol

mandu: speaking of

mandu: @minhyung what did you do with that pillow lol

gallyang: um …

gallyang: suddenly i cant read haha?

the better pink sausage: who got me the pink teddy bear

the better pink sausage: its huge and in the corner

linlin: THAT WAS ME :DDDD

linlin: HBD HYUNG <3

the better pink sausage: omg its so fluffy im gonna dieeee

the better pink sausage: ty guanlin~ :D

linlin: :D

cloudy by yui: yo hurry up and find mine kthx

hwihwi: jihoon hyung can i just give mine to you ive been carrying it all day

the better pink sausage: lol sure

hwihwi: hype

yoonjumma: jihoonie i hid your present in our living room~

the better pink sausage: WOW DAEHWI THIS LOCKET IS SO PRETTY THANK YOU :D

the better pink sausage: but you didn’t have to throw the box at me and then run away >:(

tteongwu: ooh now you can always keep a picture of the most beautiful man with you

tteongwu: lemme give you some suggestions

tteongwu:

profileong

tteongwu:

burnitupong

tteongwu:

sealong1

the better pink sausage:

cloudy by yui: DID YOU FIND MY PRESENT YET JESUS

the better pink sausage: uhh

the better pink sausage: is it the headphones

chamsae: UHHH ??

chamsae: BITCH IM OFFENDED

the better pink sausage: oh

the better pink sausage: theyre from you

mandu: lol i could /hear/ the disappointment

chamsae: i mean i’’ll happily take them back if you don’t want them

the better pink sausage: no back off theyre mine now

chamsae: YOU’RE WELCOME BITCH

the better pink sausage: THANKS BITCH

tteongwu: JIHOON YOUR PRESENT IS GETTING COLD HURRY YOUR ASS UP

the better pink sausage: oh my god

gallyang: what

chamsae: … oh my god is right

tteongwu: bow down peasants i clearly bought the superior gift

the better pink sausage: seongwoo hyung i love you <3

tteongwu: yeah you better <3

pearjin: HYUNG BOUGHT CHICKEN EVERYONE COME TO OUR DORM ISSA PARTY

***

Pretty soon, the upper floor dorm was occupied with ten hungry and excited boys.

Where’s Daniel?

It was pretty late and Jihoon knew Daniel didn’t have too hectic of a schedule today, but was distracted by a screeching Jaehwan.

“Jihoonie, I found Jisung-hyung’s present! Catch!” The vocalist chucked a soft (but somewhat large) object towards his face and Jihoon scowled at the impact. “How did you even miss this?” Jaehwan laughed. Jihoon looked down, and in his hands was a bright pastel yellow hoodie, another one to add to the collection of other brightly-colored hoodies. He would collect the whole rainbow at this point (not that he was complaining).

“Aww, hyung.” Jihoon scanned the room for the leader, who was happily serving himself a fried chicken drumstick. Seongwoo stood off to the side, proudly gazing at the fruit of his efforts – you could never go wrong with food. He caught Jihoon’s gaze and beckoned him over before quickly wrapping his arms around the younger member.

“Happy birthday, Jihoonie.” Jihoon blushed from the close proximity, but smiled warmly at the elder. “Have you tried the chicken yet?”

Jihoon shook his head, but said, “I’ve had this brand before, hyung,” with a chuckle. It wasn’t a novel taste, but Jihoon would eat it every day if he could.

“Better hurry,” Seongwoo muttered. “It’ll be gone soon at the rate everyone is eating. Daniel might not even get any. Where is he anyway?”

“He’s late,” Jihoon growled. “And on my birthday, too, hmph.”

Jisung came around and Jihoon thanked him for the gift – the hoodie was just his style and he swore he would wear it tomorrow. “Wear it proudly,” the leader said. “Oh, and Daniel said he was running a little late from his schedule, but he’ll be here soon.”

“Ah,” Jihoon nodded, still a bit disappointed, but helped himself to the mouth-watering pieces of heaven sitting on the trays in front of him. “Well, it’s his loss if he can’t have any.”

Jihoon was too busy eating and bickering with the younger members that he had forgotten to look for the remaining presents, that is, until Minhyun and Sungwoon handed him their wrapped packages.

“Happy birthday, Jihoonie!” Minhyun handed his gift and gave a small kiss on top of Jihoon’s crown. “I hope you like it.” Jihoon hastily wiped his fingers across a napkin, but a stern look from the Emperor had him shying away to the bathroom to wash his hands properly.

When he came back, he didn’t hesitate to rip open the wrapping paper – to Minhyun’s slight chagrin and Sungwoon’s amusement, knowing how Minhyun was a perfectionist who liked to take his time with presentation – and found a cute recipe book for baking treats and desserts.

“Whoa,” Jihoon’s eyes widened with awe. “Where did you get this?” Woojin, Daehwi, and Jinyoung came over to skim the beautifully bound pages, all of them sporting similar expressions of amazement. “Thank you, hyung!” Jihoon leaped forward to hug the taller member warmly.

Minhyun smiled his sweet, angelic smile. “I know we don’t have a lot of time to bake, but it’s a good pasttime for whenever you’re bored. If you ever bake anything, let me try it, okay?”

Jihoon nodded. He could just imagine him and Daniel baking together sometime in the future, perhaps in a few years when they could live together in their own place. His heart briefly fluttered at how grossly domestic it would be when a cough brought him out of his daydreaming.

“Here you go, kid,” Sungwoon handed him a similarly sized but thinner package. “And be a little careful with this one.”

Jihoon wasted no time and carefully peeled the wrapping paper away. As soon as the first sliver appeared, he let out a loud gasp, and proceeded to shred the paper away to reveal the newest BTS album.

“Oh my God,” Jihoon could cry at how beautiful it was. “Hyung…”

Sungwoon chuckled, a bit embarrassed. “It’s signed on the inside, too. I asked Jimin to get the members to sign it and oh—!” Jihoon immediately wrapped his smaller hyung in a tight embrace.

“I lied, this is the best present ever,” Jihoon whispered. When he pulled back, Sungwoon was a bit startled because Jihoon’s eyes were quite literally shining.

“Oh God, please don’t cry. I don’t know how to deal with crying dongsaengs. Oh! And...” He reached for the album and turned to the back where several photocards fell out. “I was debating just asking for Taehyung’s photocards, but you need variety,” he joked. “Taehyung left you a special message, though. At least that’s what Jimin told me.”

Jihoon was no longer listening, too immersed in the magic in his hands.

“Good thing he washed his hands,” Minhyun said from off to the side.

Jihoon was in the middle of scrolling through the photobook, overwhelmed by the visuals (which was to be expected), when the door opened to reveal a somewhat disheveled looking Daniel.

“Oh my God. I’m here. Hello.”

“Hi, hyung!” Guanlin exclaimed from the back.

“Seongwoo-hyung bought chicken!” Woojin screeched (and Daehwi gave him the stare).  

“Is there any left?”

“Of course!” Seongwoo feigned offense. “I always buy more than necessary.”

Daniel gave a slightly disbelieving look but helped himself to some fruit. It had been a hard day, but at least there was a good reason to celebrate.

Jisung tapped his shoulder, gesturing for him to come to the side, and the pair turned away from the crowd. Someone had put on a playlist and the music was quite loud for their apartment so the elder leaned in.

“Can I see it?” Jisung whispered.

Daniel went into choding mode. “See what?” he asked, faux innocent as he popped a strawberry into his mouth.

Jisung whacked his arm, which only brought a pout to Daniel’s face for a split second before the Wanna One center grinned and said, “You’ll see it later anyway. Relax.”

Jisung giggled, “This is starting to sound like a pre-proposal scene. Which, need I remind you, I have banned you from doing for at least another five years. Y’all are too damn young.”

“Yes, Mom.

Jisung glanced over his shoulder. Unsurprisingly, Jihoon was still absorbed in the BTS album. Woojin and Seongwoo had gone over to take a look at the photocards scattered around the smaller boy.

“You should give it to him now before he falls into BTS land and melts into Taehyung’s eyes.”

Daniel scoffed. “My eyes are beautiful. And I already said I’d get him the best present, no matter what Sungwoon-hyung says.”

“He’ll love it,” Jisung said warmly. “You’re a good man, Daniel. I’m proud of you.”

Daniel aww’ed, “Don’t get all sappy on me now, hyung.” He wrapped an arm around the elder, squeezing his shoulder. “But thanks for always being there.”

“Ugh,” Jisung shrugged the younger’s arm off. “Go.”

Daniel made his way to where Jihoon still sat on the carpet, admiring the lyrics section of the photobook. He didn’t seem to notice his boyfriend’s presence, even when Seongwoo and Woojin had moved away to give them some privacy.

Daniel pressed his palms along Jihoon’s shoulders, startling the younger out of his fanboy mode. “Daniel!” Jihoon exclaimed, leaping up and latching onto Daniel’s shoulders (album still in hand) while standing on his toes (which Daniel claimed was the cutest thing in the world). “I didn’t even hear you come in!”

“Happy birthday, Jihoon,” Daniel pressed a kiss to Jihoon’s forehead. “How was your day?”

“It was good!” Jihoon chirped. “One of the best birthdays ever!” Jihoon set the album down on a stool (Sungwoon quickly brought it into Jihoon’s room) and wrapped his arms around Daniel’s waist, the elder bringing a hand to his waist and the other across his back.

The couple began to awkwardly tiptoe around the living room as if they were slow dancing in their own little world. Woojin and Jinyoung snickered at how they wobbled and swayed from side to side, even taking a video to send to the group chat, while Minhyun and Jisung just found it adorable.

“I wish you had a day off, though. You deserve it.”

“Please. It’s you who needs a week off. And I don’t mind being busy.” Jihoon pressed his face against Daniel’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “It distracts me.”

Daniel breathed in the scent of Jihoon’s freshly-showered hair, smiling when he recognized the scent of his own shampoo. “Me too, darling.”

Jihoon paused in his steps and Daniel almost tripped from the sudden halt. “Sorry,” he muttered cutely, before pulling the pleading eyes (that he knew Daniel was weak to – the brat). “So where’s my present?”

“Ah,” Daniel let go of the smaller boy, who looked confused for a brief moment before gasping when Daniel went down on one knee.  

“H-hyung?”

“Are you proposing!?” Sungwoon screeched, and Daniel merely chuckled as everyone’s attention was on them now.

“Dibs on being best man!”

“Hyung, you should be the priest again.”

“No.”

“Ooh, can I be the priest then?”

“No, you can be the flower boy.”

“Me!?”

“Guys, shush!”

“Guys! Relax, everyone, no, I’m not proposing.” Jihoon stood there, frozen and flabbergasted at the ridiculousness of what was happening. Daniel looked up and winked at his boyfriend. “Sorry, babe. I promised Jisung-hyung I wouldn’t propose for another five years.”

Jihoon, now incredibly flustered, stuttered out. “T-then what the hell are you doing?”

“Giving you your present, silly.”

“Was it the heart attack?” Jihoon snapped. “Because you scared the shit out of me.”

“No, baby,” Daniel uttered the pet name so smoothly that Jihoon was left winded once more. “It’s this.” Daniel reached into his front pocket and pulled out a golden band, which caused the other members to gasp, some more exaggerated than others. 

“Not a proposal, my ass.”

“Shut up, hyung.”

Daniel chuckled as Jihoon glared down at him with his arms crossed. “Jihoon-ah.”

“Daniel.”

“Jihoon-ah,” he grinned. “My sweet, precious Jihoonie.”

“Daniel,” Jihoon’s voice had a threatening lilt.

“I’m not proposing to you regardless of what this looks like.” He bashfully looked down and focused on Jihoon’s mismatched socks to avoid the younger’s piercing gaze. He lowered his voice and mumbled, “But I, uhh…if we ever get to it, I’d like to propose to you properly later.”

“Daniel!”

“Sorry, um…” Daniel floundered. Fuck. “Jihoon-ah, I wanted to give this,” he held the ring out on the palm of his hand, “…to you as a promise ring. It’s not a lot, but…” Looking back up, Daniel could tell Jihoon was trying very hard to keep his stoic expression from cracking.

He continued, “It’s a promise to you, that I’ll always be there for you, and that I’ll always be by your side, if you let me. I’m so, so thankful for everything that’s happened, and that the universe brought us together like this. You and me, we…we have something special. And because of you, I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been, ever since we got together, and I hope we’ll stay together for a long, long time.”

“Awww….”

“This is so sweet, I’m shriveling up inside.”

“Shhh!”

“Is he winging this?”

“Shhhh!”

“So, my dearest, Jihoon,” Daniel looked up to meet Jihoon’s softened gaze, eyes filled with nothing short of love and gratitude. “Will you accept this ring, and do me the honor of being part of your forever? It’s not much, I know, but I have one, too, here, an—”

Jihoon lunged forward, embracing the elder in a hug and catching him off-guard from pulling the second ring out of his pocket.

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

Daniel chuckled, bringing his arms around his boyfriend’s torso once more. He brought the pair to a standing position – his knee was starting to hurt – and spun them around to face the other members. “He said yes!” he joked, and everyone, extra as always, burst into applause as the pair slipped their rings onto each other’s fingers.

“Okay, this is way too much like a wedding,” Jisung muttered, but let it go. Kids will be kids.

“Guys, there’s still some chicken if you want some. Grab it while it’s…lukewarm!” Seongwoo exclaimed from the back. The members dispersed and resumed their activities, fully intent on making the most of tonight before they returned to their busy lives in the early morning.

Jihoon, firmly grasping his boyfriend’s hand, was elated. He truly felt this was one of the best days ever. He leaned up to press a kiss against Daniel’s cheek, smiling brightly when Daniel turned to him in surprise. “Thank you for everything. I would take you over BTS any day.”

“Really? Is that so?” Daniel smirked. “Even V-hyung? V-hyung and his sexy facial expressions?”

“Ooh, tough call,” Jihoon tilted his head. “Hmm…” he pondered. “Okay, maybe not the expressions. I like those too much.”   

“Looks like I have some competition then,” Daniel growled playfully, pulling his boyfriend closer by the waist. “What will it take for me to win you over?”

“Mm,” Jihoon smiled teasingly. You already have. “Keep trying.”

“Oh? Do I have a time limit?”

Jihoon raised his ring finger, the golden band catching in the light.

“Forever sounds good, don’t you think?”

Chapter Text

wanna burn down ymc (11)

nielmoyed changed the group name to wanna burn down ymc and swings

the better pink sausage: aint that the truth

nielmoyed: >:(

mandu: wait why is he mad again

mandu: not saying hes wrong (bc lez be real) but i wanna know

yoonjumma: daniel :(

nielmoyed: idk was it TOO much trouble to make sure my FACE wasnt smushed

nielmoyed: like ik it wasn’t my REAL face but still….?????

cloudy by yui: yeah :\\\\\\\\\ whats up with that

nielmoyed: ugh i can’t

nielmoyed: anyway bye guys im leaving for my fancafe ttyl

mandu: have fun~ bring me back a cookie pls ty

hwihwi: ME TOO HYUNG

the better pink sausage: same

nielmoyed: yh k

the better pink sausage: (and one for linlin too)

gallyang: hi hello lean on me deserved better

cloudy by yui: TRUE SHIT WHY DO OUR PICS SUCK

chamsae: omg the pics were so blurry i remember seeing one and being confused as to who it was

yoonjumma: :(

chamsae: it was jisung hyung btw

yoonjumma: oh

yoonjumma: well

pearjin: lmao woojin hyung confused our dashing leader with minhyun hyung

yoonjumma: while i wholeheartedly agree with minhyun

yoonjumma: woojin i will take this as a compliment

chamsae: welc

gallyang: ok enough of that

gallyang added jjuyah

gallyang changed jjuyah ’s name to birthday boy

birthday boy: oh

birthday boy: hello

gallyang: HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE

cloudy by yui: JONGHYUNIEEEEE

cloudy by yui: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU AMAZING HUMAN

tteongwu: JJUYAHHH <3 HAPPPPPPPYYYYYYY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYY

chamsae: o-O

chamsae: its so weird seeing sungwoon hyung be nice

pearjin: ikr

chamsae: and hbd hyung! *happy dance*

pearjin: yeah HAPPY BDAY HYUNG~

the better pink sausage: happy birthday jonghyunie hyung!

the better pink sausage: p.s. im your favorite right? :D

chamsae: ?????

hwihwi: ??????

linlin: ???????

cloudy by yui: jihoon being shaded by never team? a concept

tteongwu: actually though

tteongwu: keep dreaming jeojang

mandu: HAPPY BDAY KIM LEADER :D

mandu: also i strive to be as fearless (and extra) as seongwoo hyung lmao

gallyang: please no

mandu: :D 

yoonjumma: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL

hwihwi: hyung happy bday!~ <3

linlin: wheeee happy birthday hyung! :D

birthday boy: hehe thanks you guys ~

birthday boy: i really appreciate all the bday wishes

birthday boy: @minhyunie tell minki to open the damn door

gallyang: ugh that bitch k brb

mandu:  well that escalated quickly

nielmoyed: omg jonghyunie hyunggggg happy birthday!!!!!! <3

cloudy by yui:  ha late

nielmoyed: frick off i didnt have wifi ok ))):

nielmoyed: also hyung i saw your fancams and they were the cutest thing in the world

nielmoyed: jihoonie could never.mp3

the better pink sausage: um

chamsae: oh shiT

the better pink sausage: you know what i ain’t even mad

the better pink sausage: daniel screamed at me earlier and showed me the fancams so yh lol

birthday boy: aww

birthday boy: ty ty daniel~ :D

birthday boy: and jihoon don’t sell yourself short!

linlin: but he is short

the better pink sausage:

yoonjumma: ...

chamsae: wow guanlin a+

tteongwu: :’)

tteongwu: im so proud of our maknae

the better pink sausage: ugh heck off gulliver  

birthday boy: noted @guanlin

cloudy by yui: lol

birthday boy: but jihoonie i could never be as legendary as you

the better pink sausage:

birthday boy: jeojang is like the /definition/ of iconic ;)

the better pink sausage:

birthday boy: :)

gallyang: babe

birthday boy: ?

gallyang: you’re making our jihoon go into tomato mode

hwihwi: ooh wheres youngmin hyung

hwihwi: he’s missing a tomato and should come fetch him

chamsae: wow hes //really// red lmao

cloudy by yui: peep our jealous emperor :)

nielmoyed: … 

nielmoyed: uh do i need to like

nielmoyed: run home and save my husband

nielmoyed: like is he dying or what

birthday boy: ...husband??????

pearjin: relax hyung he’s just hyperventilating

nielmoyed: WHAT

yoonjumma: no. he’s not.

yoonjumma: daniel relax, jihoon’s fine, he’s just blushing a lot

yoonjumma: jinyoung you’re grounded.

tteongwu: wait

tteongwu: does this mean jeojang is no longer cancelled

chamsae: oh.

tteongwu: ugh now im conflicted bc jonghyun’s word is like

tteongwu: the law TM :\\

cloudy by yui: can you believe jonghyunie made jinyoung get grounded when he’s not even here lol

cloudy by yui: truly our bugi leader :’)

mandu: aND we stan a man who can make jihoon hyperventilate

nielmoyed: *coughs* yh but how many of you hoes stan me hm?

tteongwu: ew

mandu: ^ what he said

nielmoyed: wow

nielmoyed: literally so rude

birthday boy: is SOMEone gonna explain the husband thing

linlin: daniel proposed to jihoon on his birthday!

birthday boy:  ...oh? 

nielmoyed: yeh

birthday boy: wow

birthday boy: congrats you two

chamsae: hyung you’re invited to the wedding :D

pearjin: and bring the nu’est hyungs too! :D

hwihwi: and minhyunie hyung will be the priest! :D

linlin: :D

birthday boy:  ?

birthday boy: sure

birthday boy: ??

yoonjumma: uh no

yoonjumma: nO

yoonjumma: jonghyunie don’t listen to the demons (imma ground you all i swear)

yoonjumma: the kids just gave each other promise rings das all

birthday boy: oh

mandu:  damn i wanted a party lmao

chamsae:  same hyung :((

birthday boy: i mean that’s

birthday boy: pretty much a lowkey proposal right

yoonjumma: ugh

yoonjumma: i mean sure i guess

yoonjumma: buT I SAID NO MARRIAGE FOR AT LEAST TEN YEARS

the better pink sausage:  i couldve sworn you said five :\\

nielmoyed: yeah wtf hyung >8( overprotective much????

yoonjumma: you live in my house, you follow my rules :)

the better pink sausage: daniel let’s run away

the better pink sausage: we’ll live on a pineapple farm and raise baby goats

cloudy by yui: what

nielmoyed: can we name them

the better pink sausage:  sure

the better pink sausage: we can name the ugly one woojin

nielmoyed: deal

chamsae: uH

tteongwu:  yo can i come

nielmoyed: no find your own pineapple farm

tteongwu:  >:(

birthday boy:

birthday boy:  uh anyway im still happy for you both

birthday boy: lemme visit your pineapple farm when you’re old and retired :D

nielmoyed: JONGHYUNIE HYUNG YOU’RE FREE TO COME WHENEVER BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU

the better pink sausage: true

tteongwu: wow ok

mandu: if i help take care of the pineapples can i get a room

nielmoyed: sure whatever

mandu: hype

yoonjumma: hey how big is this farm exactly hm?

nielmoyed: uGH NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS MOM

yoonjumma: :)

chamsae: as a pink sausage i have the right to crash whenever i want 8D

nielmoyed: … jihoon

the better pink sausage: i

the better pink sausage:

chamsae: sorry hyung bros before hos

nielmoyed:

nielmoyed: woojin i /know/ you didn’t just call me a hoe :))))

hwihwi: *eats chips because they’re superior to popcorn*

cloudy by yui: fight fight fight

chamsae: i said what i said :)))

nielmoyed: :)

chamsae: :)

nielmoyed: :)

chamsae: :)

birthday boy: oh hey minnie

gallyang: yes my love

birthday boy: since danhoon are moving to a pineapple farm

gallyang: ...

birthday boy: when are you gonna propose to me :)

gallyang: …………

cloudy by yui: lol damn minhyun step your game up

mandu: danhoon omg

tteongwu: pick your fighter: danhoon vs. nielwink

linlin: nielwink sounds cuter ^^

pearjin: ^

mandu: yh danhoon sounds like a white protagonist who’s like a spy for the cia or something

the better pink sausage: daniel as a spy omg *-*

tteongwu:  omg calm yourself

the better pink sausage: that’d be so HOT likeeee

nielmoyed: aw babe

the better pink sausage: all of a sudden i need a drink 

tteongwu: stop them

pearjin: lol minhyun hyung is panicking

birthday boy:  ... he is ?? 

birthday boy: frick wait alskjdf;als

pearjin: he’s just staring at his phone and his face is like

pearjin: ._.

birthday boy: omg

birthday boy: minnie relax i was kidding ^^;;

mandu: LOL

birthday boy: ...minhyun? … ;~;

hwihwi: lol jonghyun hyung is too powerful

hwihwi: he killed minhyun hyung

birthday boy: D:

yoonjumma: minhyun.exe has stopped working

mandu: try turning him off and on again! :D

nielmoyed: where’s his power button lol

cloudy by yui: pinch him

birthday boy: no wait guys seriously

birthday boy: is he alright

birthday boy: like i’m actually worried ;~~~~~;

chamsae: LOL HE’S LAGGING IRL

linlin: seongwoo hyung you can be the priest now!

tteongwu: *sighs* tfw you gotta do all the work bc your groupmates are useLESS

birthday boy: ...do i need to come over or something

birthday boy: should i bring dongho

nielmoyed: YES BRING DONGHO HYUNG I MISS HIM SO MUCH PLS

cloudy by yui: w00t nu’est party

linlin: !!!

yoonjumma: oh he moved!

birthday boy: bless

gallyang: no

tteongwu:  wow what an enlightening speech 10/10 i shed a tear

birthday boy:

birthday boy: no what

gallyang: no don’t bring dongho over

hwihwi: omg

nielmoyed:  YAY WE FOUND MINHYUN HYUNG’S ON/OFF BUTTON :D

chamsae: … dongho hyung?

gallyang: ugh

birthday boy:

birthday boy: are you serious

birthday boy has left wanna burn down ymc and swings

the better pink sausage: ...what just happened

cloudy by yui:  fuck im so done with the couples

tteongwu: actually same

gallyang: what can i say

gallyang: dongho triggers me to the sixth dimension and back

yoonjumma: i ... im tired 

mandu: so hyung

gallyang: ?

mandu: when ARE you gonna propose :D

gallyang: get out

Chapter Text

group chat (5)

try me ariana: hyung pls hurry up im hungry

deserves better: did someone say food

i need jonghyun: @me

snow flower: omg jaehwan are you paying for dinner :DDDDD

try me ariana: y’all aren’t invited

snow flower: DDDDD:

deserves better: hyung whyyy :(

try me ariana: bc this is adults doing adult things sorry i don’t make the rules

snow flower: you … literally … just did tho

i need jonghyun: are sungwoon hyung and i not adults

try me ariana: on the contrary

snow flower:

try me ariana: yall grandpas are too old to join us lmao

i need jonghyun: *anna kendrick voice* that makes no sense!

try me ariana: who

deserves better: ok fine but can you bring home some leftovers :D

snow flower: linnie

snow flower: my sweet summer child

deserves better: ?

snow flower: there wont /be/ any leftovers

try me ariana: what

try me ariana: why

snow flower: oh you know /exactly/ why jaehwan

try me ariana: no?

try me ariana: i don’t?

snow flower: mhm

snow flower: sure.

penguin leader: hi im here sorry lets go

try me ariana: FUCKING FINALLY

penguin leader: and yes guanlin we can absolutely bring you leftovers

snow flower: aHEM

deserves better: YAY THANKS ILY HYUNG

penguin leader: sungwoon did you ask nicely

snow flower: ew no lmao

snow flower: that’s far too much work

try me ariana: HYUNG

penguin leader: SORRY JE SUS

i need jonghyun: can you pick me up a bagel thx

try me ariana: …you want a bagel at 9 in the afternoon

deserves better: in the afternoon

try me ariana: i meant what i said

i need jonghyun: yeah? got a problem with that dumpling

try me ariana: nope

deserves better: have fun!

***

the better dorm (6)

snownable’s guardian: guys im coming home so lets watch a movie later

snownable’s guardian: guys? …

snownable’s guardian: DANEIL YOU BITCH I CAN SEE YOU READING THESE

danielmnop: daniel can’t come to the phone now

snownable’s guardian:

danielmnop: oh why?

snownable’s guardian: oh my god

danielmnop: ‘cause he’s dead!

snownable’s guardian: ……………….

danielmnop: no srsly he just died in league and hes crying lmao

snownable’s guardian: jihoon

danielmnop: what

snownable’s guardian:

snownable’s guardian: nvm

danielmnop: k

snownable’s guardian: did you guys eat yet

baegels: no

weewoojin: omg hyung did you bring food  <3

snownable’s guardian: arent you playing league

weewoojin: im spawning

snownable’s guardian:

snownable’s guardian: no i didn’t bring food

snownable’s guardian: i was gonna go home and maybe make something

baegels: aww hyung~ <3

weewoojin: :D

snownable’s guardian: key word being “was”

weewoojin: wait what

snownable’s guardian: :)

weewoojin: no hyung wait

snownable’s guardian: yall seem busy so

baegels: D:

snownable’s guardian: yall can starve see if i care

baegels: hyung :(

time of dae-hwi: hyung nooooo :((((

weewoojin: HYU NG

snownable’s guardian: cya nerds

weewoojin: I HATE YOU

***

wanna burn down ymc and swings (11)

hwihwi: hyung come back :(

cloudy by yui: huh

pearjin: hyunnnngggg D:

gallyang: what jinyoung

pearjin: NOT YOU

gallyang: oh

gallyang:

gallyang: ok then

pearjin: no ahhh ssksksksk

pearjin: ilyminhyunhyungdonthateme

the better pink sausage: lol

cloudy by yui: ok but what happened

the better pink sausage: seongwoo hyung left us to die nbd

gallyang:

cloudy by yui: wait

cloudy by yui: he’s in our dorm????

gallyang: ……. did you not hear him screaming in guanlin’s room

cloudy by yui: I THOUGHT THAT WAS WOOJIN

chamsae: wow

cloudy by yui: I WAS FACETIMING TAEHYUN DON’T @ ME

gallyang: i

cloudy by yui: why did no one inform me of this

linlin: does it matter

cloudy by yui:

the better pink sausage: lol get him linnie

cloudy by yui: hey jeojang :)))

the better pink sausage: hey

cloudy by yui: fight me

cloudy by yui: right now

the better pink sausage: nah

chamsae: ha

chamsae: lame

mandu: uh

mandu: seongwoo hyung is in our dorm

mandu: ???

hwihwi: hi jaehwan hyung wyd

mandu: hello sweetie do you want a bagel

pearjin: ick

hwihwi: sure lol

mandu: can you guys please keep him out of my room thx

cloudy by yui: lol too late

mandu: biTCH

cloudy by yui: EXCUSE ME

mandu: KEEP HIM OUT OF MY ROOM SHORTIE

gallyang: now i wanna know what he’s keeping in there

mandu: HYUNG PLEASE

cloudy by yui: oh so /he/ gets a hyung but i get “biTCH”

the better pink sausage: all in favor of raiding jaehwan hyung’s room say aye

hwihwi: aye

cloudy by yui: aye

gallyang: aye

linlin: aye

mandu: wth guanlin i was starting to like you

the better pink sausage: woojin says aye so yay majority wins

mandu: :)))))

mandu: park jihoon

the better pink sausage: everyone wants me today lmao

mandu: its true

cloudy by yui: oh???

hwihwi: daniel hyung has new competition ???

linlin: :0

mandu: i want you dead xoxo

the better pink sausage: fuck

chamsae: i bet there’s a spider carcass in there

the better pink sausage: ……

mandu: :)

hwihwi: um

pearjin: that’s a very unwanted image thx woojin <3

the better pink sausage: suddenly i don’t care and now i want to set jaehwan hyung’s room on fire

gallyang: hahahahahah same

linlin: jaehwan hyung

mandu: what

linlin: don’t be mad at seongwoo hyung

linlin: he and i are watching a movie :D

pearjin: k but who asked

tteongwu: JINYOUNG DON’T ATTACK OUR LINLIN LIKE THIS OR I WILL HURT YOU

gallyang: now kids be nice

pearjin: im not even scared

linlin: >:(

chamsae: daehwi jinyoung we can just watch our own movie

pearjin: eh fine

hwihwi: as long as its not horror

linlin: *whispers* cowards

cloudy by yui: please don’t watch a horror movie

cloudy by yui: your screams will make me dizzy

chamsae: whomst

hwihwi: tell taehyun hyung i said hi~ :D

cloudy by yui: message him yourself

cloudy by yui: do it you won’t

mandu: hi guys

mandu: this is jisung bc jaehwan is driving

mandu: but he wants me to tell you (read: seongwoo) that he’s gonna “whoop your ass no matter what you say, hyung”

mandu: the audacity

mandu: anyway

mandu: that will be all

gallyang: did you get my bagel

pearjin: don’t you mean

pearjin: BAEgel

gallyang: ha HA ha

gallyang: ha ha HA ha HA ha ha

the better pink sausage: hyung you good

mandu: @minhyun yes we did

mandu: you owe jaehwan 1000 won

gallyang: k

hwihwi: what abt me

mandu: he says yours is free

hwihwi: hype

***

gallyang: i would like to say

gallyang: that

mandu: omg let it die

gallyang: since SOMEBODY forgot to bring me cream cheese

mandu: ok but why aren’t you mad at jisung hyung too

mandu: he could’ve remembered but look_by_nu’est_w.mp3 now he let us both down

gallyang: point is

mandu: ugh

gallyang: you aint getting my 1000 won

mandu: fine whatever

mandu: i hope you enjoy your dry af bagel

gallyang: >:(

mandu: its as dry as your skin

gallyang: im blocking you

mandu: be sure to moisturize‼! <3

 

95’s only (7)

seongwoo: OH MY GOD

minki: ???

seongwoo: YOU

dongho:

jonghyun: hi seongwoo

youngmin 2: oh

youngmin 2: hello everyone

youngmin 2: its been a while

seongwoo: YOU GUYSSS

minhyun: seongwoo what the fuck

youngmin 1: hi seongwoo! ^^

seongwoo: ARON

seongwoo: BRO

seongwoo: GUYS SS

youngmin 2: im … kinda lost?

minhyun: god

seongwoo: AHHLA SKSKSKSK

seongwoo: BITCH

minki: ??

seongwoo: tell me how the four of you just slayed my entire existence and ended wanna one’s careers with a single video

jonghyun: oh lol

dongho: because we’re better than you?

seongwoo: IM OFFENDED BUT NOT I-

minki: dongho be nice

minki: if seongwoo is joining us later we have to be cordial

dongho: i can pretend

minki: omg

dongho: i pretended to like minhyun for like eight years so

minhyun: hey minki havent you heard

minki:

minhyun: it’s a main vocal thing to be a rudeass hoe

dongho: :))

minki:

minki: did jaehwan do something

minhyun: bitch motherfather forgot my cream cheese

youngmin 1:

minki:

jonghyun: tragic

seongwoo: ok no one cares about your lactose minHIun

seongwoo: this is about NU’EST W aka legends ???

youngmin 2: lol the exclusion is real  

youngmin 1: you know

youngmin 1: seongwoo

youngmin 1: minhyun hasn’t even congratulated us yet

seongwoo: WHAT

dongho: oh my god true

minki: yh minhyun whats up with that

seongwoo: MINHYUN HOW COULD YOU

minhyun: you fakes i literally texted jonghyun

jonghyun: whoops

seongwoo: pfft

dongho: wow

dongho: im not even surprised anymore

youngmin 2: nu’est w hyungs fighting! – the babies

seongwoo: but seriously

seongwoo: nu’est w: kings of producing and composing and lyric writing and visual gods

seongwoo: love yourself and stan them you cowards

youngmin 1: wait what about dancing

seongwoo:

seongwoo: i pop better than all of you sorry :\

youngmin 1: ok fair

seongwoo: BUT YOU ARE STILL GODS WE ARE ALL UNWORTHY

jonghyun: lol thanks friend (and thank you to the kids @youngmin)

youngmin 2: get you a fansite like seongwoo (@jonghyun they say they can’t wait to see the live stages later)

dongho: hey @seongwoo don’t give them credit for composing

dongho: i refuse to share my spotlight with them

jonghyun: damn ok :\\\

dongho: except you youre perf

minhyun:

seongwoo: LMAO GUYS

seongwoo: i just got an ad for sandals

jonghyun: …ok?

seongwoo: this is totes dongho’s doing

dongho: @sandal companies call me

minhyun: those sandals were ugly

dongho: so’s your face :)))

minhyun: how original

minki: also minhyun we already saved you some parts

minhyun: really.

minki: yeah you can take my ddu-du-du’s when you come back :D

minhyun:

minhyun: fantastic.

youngmin 1: baby

minhyun: seongwoo get off your phone

seongwoo: sorry what w as that

seongwoo: i was too busy streaming DEJA BU aka a wholeass bop

minhyun: oh my god

dongho: :\\\ tbh minhyun you don’t support nu’est w as much as seongwoo and idk how i feel about that

minhyun: literally choke

seongwoo: also the goat needs to not

seongwoo: whose idea was that it scared the bejeezus out of me

minki: oh good im not the only one

dongho: the goat represents minhyun

minhyun: i hate you

dongho: <3

minhyun: SEONGWOO

youngmin 2: good luck on the rest of your tour! @minhyun @seongwoo

minhyun: oh thanks youngmin

minhyun: you should pray for seongwoo bc im about to rat him out to our manager in two seconds

minhyun: assuming i don’t set him on fire first

seongwoo: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

minhyun: :)

youngmin 1: oh minhyun wait

youngmin 1: since youre in the u.s. can you do me a favor

minhyun: don’t wanna

youngmin 1: i am using my hyung card

minhyun: ugh

youngmin 1: buy me nutella pls

minhyun: what

youngmin 1: its super important

minhyun: the heck is that

youngmin 1: *sigh* [whispers] uncultured swine

minhyun:

youngmin 1: ok next time you go grocery shopping

youngmin 1: look for nutella where the bread is and bring some back in your luggage kthx ily

minhyun: um

dongho: oh that reminds me

minhyun: no

dongho: i want a new travel pillow

minhyun: NO

minki: if youre getting gifts for them you have to give me and jonghyun gifts too :D

minhyun: darling help

jonghyun: hm? :)

minhyun: …did you want something

seongwoo: hi im back

seongwoo: minhyun you lying mcliarson practice doesn’t start for another five mins

seongwoo: YOU MADE ME STOP MY STREAMING

minhyun: can i block him

dongho: no i like him he’s our fansite :)

youngmin 2: like company like artist tsk tsk minhyun

seongwoo: YOUNGM IN SKKKSKKSS

minki: pulling a swings eh minhyun

dongho: doing the most to be a control freak as always

seongwoo: GUYS STOP IM DYING

minhyun: im ignoring all of you sans jjuyah

minhyun: p.s. @seongwoo good keep dying

jonghyun: oh lol

jonghyun: i don’t need anything

jonghyun: OH you can buy some dog food

minhyun: um

jonghyun: noah’s eating a lot these days

minki: its true he’s chewed through all your shoes

minhyun:

youngmin 2: rip minhyun

seongwoo: guys he just glared at me and threatened to suffocate me in my sleep what do i do

dongho: tell him we’ll confiscate jonghyun’s phone if he hurts you

seongwoo: oh

seongwoo: oh no

youngmin 1: ??

seongwoo: LAJLKS  LA;L; SLDKLKDKLKSL

minki: im going to bed

youngmin 2: rip seongwoo

Chapter Text

the better dorm (6)

baegels: oh my god this vlive is so boring

time of dae-hwi: agreed

baegels: HYUNGS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

danielmnop: their best

weewoojin: wow this show is tragic

weewoojin: theyre not even ODIN G ANYTHING

baegels: @ seongwoo hyung STOP TALKING WITH SUNGWOON HYUNG THE FANS DIDN’T COME ON TO SEE THIS SHIT

weewoojin: lol

baegels: brb gonna slip into sungwoon hyung’s dms real quick

baegels: also @ daniel hyung

danielmnop: yeet

baegels: way to be subtle bro

danielmnop: ??? what

baegels: leaving the show for jihoon hyung??? saying he’s looking for you ??????

baegels: smooth

danielmnop: why are you attacking me

danielmnop: and for no reason ???

baegels: YOU CANNOT TELL ME JIHOON WAS LOOKING FOR YOU

danielmnop: wth he WAS you heard sungwoon hyung

baegels: ………..right.

baegels: woojin back me up

weewoojin: pinhead is telling the truth jihoon was gaming with me

baegels: SEE I HAVE A WITNESS

weewoojin: but he was also asking for daniel to come cuddle so like

baegels: IRRELEVANT

danielmnop: how is that irrelevant woojin literally just threw your slander out the window

time of dae-hwi: yh :// what are you trying to prove

danielmnop: ^ what he said D<

chamsae: thats not how you use literally but ok

baegels: k hear me out

baegels: kang daniel

baegels: south korea’s #1 boyfriend

baegels: caught LYING to all our lovely wannables ???????

baegels: ON LIVE BROADCCASTTTTT ????????

time of dae-hwi: lord

danielmnop: hey how about the time you tricked everyone into thinking your head was /naturally/ small when in fact it was just you being good at contour

weewoojin: um

danielmnop: like wow kim k is about to go out of business we stan baejin kardashian watch out kylie

baegels:

time of dae-hwi: lmao mayhaps he snapped

weewoojin: ok whatever the vlive is still boring

weewoojin: someone do something i don’t actually cARE about what the hyungs did in the jungle

time of dae-hwi: LOL OMG JINYOUNGIE HYUNG ACTUALLY TOLD THEM

time of dae-hwi: oh wow he didn’t hold back

weewoojin: “don’t show your teeth” challenge [failed]

danielmnop: see they’re smiling now but wait till they’re done

danielmnop: goodbye baebae goodbye

***

group chat (5)

deserves better: hyungs~

try me ariana: yes linnie

deserves better: are you watching seongwoo and sungwoon hyungs vlive

try me ariana: ha thats funny

try me ariana: nah im jamming

i need jonghyun: did they just

i need jonghyun: mock me

i need jonghyun: in front of thousands of people

i need jonghyun: :))))))

try me ariana: oooh bitch

try me ariana: but to be fair you do kinda suck at mafia

i need jonghyun: YOU’RE NOT THAT MUCH BETTER

deserves better: plot twist: minhyun hyung sucked on purpose to stop playing

i need jonghyun:

try me ariana: well shit that’s not even a bad theory

try me ariana: hyung >:(

penguin leader: jaehwan what happened to jamming

try me ariana: um

try me ariana: my fingers hurt

penguin leader: yh sure j(aehw)an

i need jonghyun: anyway seongwoo if you’re reading this

i need jonghyun: :))))

penguin leader: why would he read this he’s not even in this group

try me ariana: minhyung is scared of sungwoon hyung: confirmed

penguin leader: oh

try me ariana: *coughs* and at least seongwoo hyung makes proper threats

i need jonghyun: well guess what jaehwan

i need jonghyun: sometimes it’s better to say less :))

try me ariana: IM NOT EVEN SCARED

try me ariana: try again

penguin leader: oh linnie joined the vlive

penguin leader: awww they’re so cute

penguin leader: my adorable children

i need jonghyun: …  

i need jonghyun: um guanlin didn’t shower and he’s just

i need jonghyun: slathering himself over them

i need jonghyun: and seongwoo’s bed …

i need jonghyun: i am

i need jonghyun: disgusted

i need jonghyun: guanlin why

try me ariana: oh that reminds me

try me ariana: hyung

try me ariana: you know i love you right

i need jonghyun: … unfortunately

try me ariana: aight so when i say i took a nap in your bed after dance practice and didn’t shower

i need jonghyun: …………..

try me ariana: <3

penguin leader: ok

penguin leader: well

penguin leader: im going to sleep

penguin leader: gnite demons

***

95’s only (7)

seongwoo: oh my god oh my god oh my god

seongwoo: GUYSSSS

seongwoo: CONGRATS ‼! AHHHHHH

minki: yeeeee thanks friend~

seongwoo: omg deja vu is an ong-certified jam and deserves all the trophies amirite or amirite

youngmin 1: lol thanks bro

seongwoo: ANYTIME

seongwoo: also

seongwoo: is dongho ok ??? D:

minki: lol yeah he’s ok

minki: just got a little emotional that’s all

minki: i think he’s sleeping now

youngmin 2: CONGRATS YOU GUYS !

youngmin 2: the kids thought your live stages were super super cool

youngmin 2: i think they said they want to do a ydpp cover but like ???

youngmin 2: we would never do it justice ^^;;

minki: awwww no don’t say that

minki: if you guys do a cover we wanna see! :D

jonghyun: shoutout to daehwi for mentioning us just now lol

minki: he called us sunbaenims :’) im not crying

seongwoo: *whispers* the heal is the best unit :)

minhyun: uh

minhyun:

baekho_meme

minki: o_O

jonghyun: oh my god fetus dongho was adorable <3

seongwoo: ‼‼ HE’S SO CUTE WHAT

youngmin 1: aww :’) what a bub 

dongho: minhyun you’re dead

youngmin 1: oh rip lmao

youngmin 2: i thought he was sleeping

youngmin 1: that makes two of us

minki: **six of us

minhyun: yes dongho

minhyun: come find me in taiwan i dare you

dongho:

minhyun_meme

seongwoo: lmao classic

minhyun:

minhyun: oh by the way

minhyun: seongwoo

seongwoo: ?

minhyun: don’t be alarmed

seongwoo: uh ???

minhyun: no seriously don’t be alarmed

seongwoo: WHAT

minhyun: i mean it

seongwoo: OH MY GOD CHALLENGE FAILED HWANG MINHYUN

minki: seongwoo what did you do

seongwoo: I DID NOTHING

youngmin 2: lol minhyunnie is mad

seongwoo: JONGHYUN HELP

minhyun: so jinyoung and 2park were playing with those fake bugs right

seongwoo:

minhyun: they thought it’d be a good idea to hide them in your room so :)))

seongwoo: ……………..

minhyun: like i said :)

minhyun: don’t be alarmed

dongho: at least it wasn’t a snek

dongho: oh wait nvm minhyun /is/ the snek

minhyun: GO TO BED HOE

minki: lol wow ok

youngmin 1: no but seriously seongwoo what’d you do this time lmao

seongwoo: heh

seongwoo: nothing yet :)))

youngmin 2: ;~;

seongwoo: some maknaes are getting their asses BEAT tonight

seongwoo: and guess what minnie

seongwoo: jokes on you

seongwoo: i haven’t showered yet and i’m kinda sweating

minhyun: ...

seongwoo: guess where im headed now :))))))))

minhyun: brb guys

youngmin 1: oh dear

youngmin 2: ;~~~~~~~~~~;

minhyun: i suddenly have the urge to rip someone’s face off

minhyun: ha ha lmao

minki: i don’t know them

youngmin 1: same

jonghyun: go to sleep guys we have a long day tomorrow

dongho: good idea

dongho: wake me up when minhyun combusts

youngmin 1: tbh the scariest part was ha ha lmao

youngmin 1: ha ha lmao

***

just be joyful (6)

hyunbin: ‼! HYUNGS IM SO EXCITED

hyunbin: I AM READY TO BE YOUR BIGGEST FAN

hyunbin: AN ICONIC DUO IS ABOUT TO BE BORN

longguo: um shihyun and i say hi

taehyun: and yet he’s gone mia while you’ve gone solo

donghan: shit hyung

hyunbin: i miss shihyunie D:

taehyun: actually same

kenta: aww hyunbin thank you~

sanggyun: everyone else go home hyunbin is our fanclub president

hyunbin: HYPE

sanggyun: we still need a name though

sanggyun: we are currently accepting suggestions so

sanggyun: hit us

taehyun: hmm

donghan: hyungs why didn’t you take my suggestion

kenta: um

sanggyun: no

donghan: hey

sanggyun: no shut up

sanggyun: i refuse to go down in history as “tea and coffee”

hyunbin: who would be who

kenta: donghan you don’t even like coffee what gives

donghan: which is why you would be the tea hyung <3

sanggyun:

taehyun: why not just kengyun

kenta: ehhhh

kenta: idk its just … lowkey lame ?? and lazy

sanggyun: what he said

longguo: make an acronym

sanggyun: ooh true

hyunbin: LBL

kenta: ??

longguo: you’ve heard of ibi and jbj now get ready for

donghan: long boy lobsters

taehyun: what

kenta: uhh

hyunbin: LOLLLL

donghan: little baby lambs

sanggyun: why

taehyun: omg

hyunbin: LOL keep guessing this is fun :D

taehyun: let’s be legendary

sanggyun: :OOO

kenta: OOOH I LIKE THAT ONE

hyunbin: that… actually wasn’t it but now my original idea seems lamer

hyunbin: it was /let’s be lovely/ but yeah

sanggyun: I LIKE TAEHYUN HYUNG’S IDEA

kenta: ME TOO

longguo: LBL stans unite

donghan: OH MY GOD

donghan: LMAOOOOO

hyunbin: ???

donghan:

LBL

donghan: ANNYEONG HASEYO URINEUN LIGHT BLADDER LEAKAGE IMNIDA

sanggyun:

kenta: uh

hyunbin: ………

longguo: im crying

donghan: I CANT BREATH E

taehyun: wow look at the time i g2g

donghan: HOW DO I SUBMIT THIS FOR CONSIDERATION THIS IS GOLD

kenta: please don’t :(

sanggyun: ugh

sanggyun: donghan i hope you choke

***

wanna burn down ymc and swings (11)

the better pink sausage: i swear everytime daniel speaks in english i feel naughty

cloudy by yui: k we didn’t need to know that

chamsae: *stares into the camera and silently pleads for death*

mandu: what a mood

hwihwi: i don’t get it

hwihwi: when i speak english i’m cute but when daniel hyung speaks english he’s suddenly the hottest thing ever

hwihwi: this bias >:(

gallyang: calm yourself daehwi you are nowhere near the point of being sexualized

yoonjumma: truth

yoonjumma: i will happily jump off a cliff whenever that day comes

tteongwu: ITS TIME FOR AN INTERVENTION

mandu: oh no

pearjin: hyung i hope you do better this time

pearjin: your last vlive was tragic until guanlin showed up

cloudy by yui: wow rude

linlin: lol

cloudy by yui: oh my god did they just

cloudy by yui: do the spongebob thing

cloudy by yui: oh my god they did

cloudy by yui: idk an ongniel

gallyang: same

mandu: what the heck is he wearing

pearjin: obviously it’s a printed shirt

pearjin: and pants

pearjin: oh it’s a set

pearjin: oh no

mandu: ITS UGLY

chamsae: i mean i like the color ?

linlin: i think it suits him

hwihwi: linnie you are so biased i don’t even know where to begin

linlin: IT DOES THOUGH

mandu: @seongwoo hyung please don’t ever wear that around me kthx

the better pink sausage: daniel called me jihoonie awww <3

cloudy by yui: what the shit everyone calls you jihoonie

mandu: lol even guanlin calls him jihoonie

chamsae: can we talk about how jihoon doesn’t even have to appear on vlive to be relevant

the better pink sausage: hell yeah im always relevant ;)

yoonjumma: chill

pearjin: hi so is someone gonna tell me why daniel hyung’s room key suddenly stopped working

pearjin: like

pearjin: how does that even happen

chamsae: here we go again

pearjin: IM JUST SAYING

cloudy by yui: lmao “jihoonie was getting sleepy”

pearjin: NO HE WASN’T

chamsae: let it go bae

mandu: ok but they cute

yoonjumma: my babies taking care of each other aww :’)

the better pink sausage: daniel ily~ <3

chamsae: nooo hyungs :((( they spoiled my hair color

chamsae: i wanted it to be a surprise

linlin: aww hyung

linlin: it looks good tho!

gallyang: oh wow daniel’s feet /are/ big on camera

cloudy by yui: you know what they say about people with big feet

linlin: what

yoonjumma: ha sungwoon

cloudy by yui: that they wear really big shoes

mandu: omg

pearjin: LOL

linlin: … obviously?

chamsae: ha HAHAHAH moving on

the better pink sausage: DANIEL IS SO CUTE OH MY GOD I CANT HANDLE

hwihwi: k im bored im going to bed gnite

mandu: good night cutie

linlin: gnite!~

gallyang: seongwoo muffled the mic oh my god what an idiot

cloudy by yui: what are they doing

mandu: LOL WHAT ARE HTYE DOING

cloudy by yui: WE CAN HEAR YOU NOW OH MY GOD

yoonjumma: and now to your left you will see ongniel being dumb dumbs

mandu: this is great

chamsae: lol way to end on a high note

pearjin: meh

pearjin: 6/10 seongwoo hyung was still boring

***

linlin: PANWINK IN YOUR AREA

tteongwu: GUANLIN I LOVE YOU

tteongwu: we demand a solo guanlin vlive

cloudy by yui: truth

tteongwu: also @jinyoung

pearjin: ??

tteongwu: i hope your hair catches on fire

pearjin: k

nielmoyed: MY LOVE IS ON FIRE

gallyang: chill

mandu: he can’t chill hyung his love is on fire haven’t you heard

tteongwu: guanlin should do a vlive where he teaches all of us chinese

hwihwi: ooh down

chamsae: drinking game: take a shot every time they do the kiss thing

yoonjumma: um

nielmoyed: ooh lets get it

cloudy by yui: woojin you are a lightweight who you tryna fool

pearjin: “i really like guanlin too” he says

nielmoyed: :(((

hwihwi: oof jinyoung look what you did

hwihwi: you made him sad

pearjin: good

gallyang: k but how often will jihoon say “wo ai ni” in actual conversation tho

cloudy by yui: baby sha sha sha oh naye shanghai love ~

mandu: YES THAT SONG IS MY JAM

gallyang: no why

yoonjumma: fetus minhyun <3

gallyang: hyung pls

tteongwu: oh my god they’re adorable

chamsae: GUANLIN YOUR SATOORI IM DED 11/10

mandu: ok i give props to jihoon for being a good hyung to our baby

cloudy by yui: its so weird seeing him?? be mature ???

nielmoyed: hey

cloudy by yui: WERENT YOU LEAVING

nielmoyed: im not bringing back food for you

cloudy by yui: you say that as if imma be offended

hwihwi: all this TMI lmao

chamsae: just tell them everything why dont you

pearjin: ok but half of these arent even that bad

hwihwi: yh theyre hella tame arent they

mandu: “first international friend” aww

tteongwu: GUANLIN IS MY FIRST INTERNATIONAL FRIEND TOO

cloudy by yui: aint he everyones first international friend

gallyang: no?

cloudy by yui: oh

mandu: omg fetus jihoon makes me uwu so hard

tteongwu: yeah but never forget

tteongwu: no one has a darker past than woojinie

cloudy by yui: true shit

chamsae: >:(

chamsae: delete yourselves

chamsae: anyway im about to hack this livestream

hwihwi: um

cloudy by yui: what

mandu: ??

chamsae: DON’T BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH

tteongwu:

gallyang: they ignored him omg

mandu: not the fans tho lol

mandu: woojin do it again

chamsae: BITCHES

hwihwi: omg

gallyang: fyi sungwoon hyung has left the building

tteongwu: guys look our maknae is planning out his life with buying houses and shit

tteongwu: yall hes really growing up :’)

cloudy by yui: howd you like my cameo

tteongwu: 5/10 try again

gallyang: who is guanlin texting

hwihwi: tsk bad manners DON’T TEXT ON VLIVE LINLIN

pearjin: oh my god

tteongwu: DANIEL WHATS GOOD

mandu: we love a dude who hijacks other people’s vlives

chamsae: why thank you

mandu: :\

pearjin: look at jihoon going all quiet

cloudy by yui: gross

gallyang: be nice

cloudy by yui: no hes not bringing me sukiyaki so im salty

chamsae: wow look what we have here

chamsae: jihoonie is really out here living up to his hoe name

gallyang: i mean

gallyang: kiss kiss fall in love right

pearjin: omg guanlin is going for it

pearjin: yes go guanlin show those nonexistent abs

hwihwi: shit daniel hyung is gonna see thi s later R I P

gallyang: he wont hurt guanlin

gallyang: i mean if he wants to survive jisung hyung’s wrath yeah

chamsae: no but he’ll hurt one of us in guanlin’s place

chamsae: i volunteer jinyoung as tribute

mandu: yes call

tteongwu: OH MY GOD GUANLIN IS SINGING

tteongwu: WE LOVE A MAIN VOCAL

cloudy by yui: watch out jaehwan

mandu: uh excuse you why am /i/ the one getting booted

mandu: boot yourself

cloudy by yui: no

cloudy by yui: this team needs my cuteness

tteongwu: objection your honor

tteongwu: wrongness

***

my niel: babe

my hoonie: zzzz

my niel: :(

my hoonie: ugh what

my niel: i miss you

my hoonie: we literally saw each other five minutes ago

my hoonie: you are not allowed to miss me yet

my niel: babyyyy :(

my hoonie: *sighs* what sweetie

my niel: :D

my niel: we should do a gaming vlive sometime

my niel: the fans want it too!

my hoonie: why would you wanna broadcast yourself losing horribly

my niel: ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ

my hoonie: just saying

my niel: >:( don’t be fucking rude

my hoonie: hmm

my hoonie: i’ll think about it

my niel: pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeee

my hoonie: niel im serious i have exams coming up

my hoonie: unfortunately theyre somewhat important so … i have to study

my niel: )8<

my hoonie: after my exams are done ok?

my hoonie: promise

my niel: ugh

my niel: booooo

my hoonie: and if swingshit lets us ofc

my niel: oh

my niel: right

my niel: forgot about them

my hoonie: mood

my niel: ughhhh fine

my niel: i’ll just

my niel: be sad

my niel: in my little corner

my hoonie: k im going to bed

my niel: >:(

my hoonie: gn darling

my niel: >:((((((((

my hoonie: you are such high maintenance tonight istg

my niel: :)

my hoonie: <3 i love you very much niel

my hoonie: sweet dreams

my niel: :D

my niel: I LOVE YOU TOO SWEETIE

my niel: i’ll dream of you tonight <3

my hoonie: zzz

Chapter Text

taehyun: B IT HC

taehyun: HOW DARE YOU

sungwoon: ?????????

taehyun: I CANT BELIEVE

taehyun: MY BEST HOE

taehyun: WOULD BETRA Y ME LIKE THIS

sungwoon: WHAT DID I DO

taehyun: >:(((

taehyun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zNfvMNObK4

taehyun: WATHC IT AND WEEP

sungwoon:

sungwoon: oh

sungwoon: i guess you’re cool

taehyun: I’M FREAKING HOT WHADDUP

sungwoon: wait

sungwoon: did you just

sungwoon: fucking DAB

sungwoon: ARE YOU FROM 2015 WTH

sungwoon: idk you anymore

taehyun: EXCUSE YOU

taehyun: I SLAYED THAT SHIT AND THAT’S ALL YOU GOTTA SAY ???

sungwoon: well

sungwoon: i was gonna applaud you for that perf

sungwoon: like whoa fam gimme your upper body strength

taehyun: never.mp3

sungwoon: but then you assaulted my eyes at the end

sungwoon: so now i’m just :\\\\\\\\

taehyun: my dancing could end your career and you know it

sungwoon: hm?

sungwoon: im sorry what was that

taehyun: :(

sungwoon: i couldn’t hear you over my awesomeness

taehyun: k whatever

taehyun: like comment subscribe pls

sungwoon: no

sungwoon: that’s too much work

sungwoon: try again

taehyun: i hate you

sungwoon: yea ik

sungwoon: <3

taehyun: bitch bye

sungwoon: oh also

taehyun: ?

sungwoon: daehwi likes it btw

taehyun: …….

sungwoon: you’re welcome ;)

***

my hoonie:

after_swimming1

my hoonie: hi babe

my hoonie: miss me?

my niel: SKSKSKAALL KSKSKS SKSKSKS

my niel: WHT A THE FUCK

my niel: WHS Y

my hoonie: ?? :)

my hoonie: why what

my niel: WHY WOUL D YOU DO THIS OT ME

my hoonie: ^^ idk what you mean

my niel: jihoonie

my niel: darling

my hoonie: ? :)

my niel: why

my niel: must you make me feel like a sinner

my hoonie: o_O

my niel: you can’t just

my niel: be all cute and adorable and

my niel: angelic

my hoonie: oh

my niel: and expect me to not feel like the most impure demon on the planet

my niel: you have no right

my niel: NO RIGHT

my hoonie: :)

my niel: im in pain

my niel: no one said living on earth with an angel would be such agonizing torture

my hoonie: that was oddly poetic LOL

my niel: thanks i try

my hoonie: ^^

my niel: i would make an album dedicated to you if i could

my hoonie: oh

my niel: its what you deserve

my hoonie: aw stop it you <3

my niel: nope

my niel: im in too deep

my niel: gotta think of a tracklist now lol

my hoonie: oh god

my hoonie: please don’t give like super lame titles

my niel: hmm

my niel: how about

my niel: “the stars in your eyes”

my hoonie:

my niel: it’ll be the title track

my hoonie: that’s so damn cheesy omg

my niel: ITS BOOTIFUL

my hoonie: not as bootiful as you amirite ;)

my niel: nope

my niel: all these stars in the night sky

my niel: and yet you shine brighter than all of them

my hoonie: *chokes*

my hoonie: *dies*

my niel: D:

my hoonie: sweetheart

my hoonie: honey

my niel: ?

my hoonie: you should stop before i force myself to slip into the pool again

my niel: nuuu hurry up and come up

my niel: i wanna cuddle

my hoonie: i swear you ask for cuddles every day

my niel: I HAVE NEEDS

my niel: AND THE RIGHT TO CUDDLE YOU WHENEVER I WANT

my hoonie: relax

my hoonie: i was on my way up anyway

my niel: ‼!

my niel: yay :D

my niel: i’ll be waiting <3

my hoonie: blegh

my niel: <3 <3 <3

my hoonie: <3

***

wanna burn down ymc and swings (11)

cloudy by yui: wow ok jihoon

the better pink sausage: what

cloudy by yui: you think youre hot shit because of your new hair well GUESS WHAT

nielmoyed: back off hyung >:(

cloudy by yui: I HAD RED HAIR FIRST

gallyang: um hi i exist hello

chamsae: yea hyung what about me >:(

the better pink sausage: omg chill hyung its not like i think im BETTER than you or anything

pearjin: wow that sounded fake as shit

mandu: if we’re being technical

the better pink sausage: oh excuse me sodu thank you for loving my red hair more than sungwoon hyung <3

tteongwu: minhyun looked the best

linlin: jihoonie hyung i think you look pretty~ <3

tteongwu: jihoon looks aight lets not kid ourselves

mandu: ok but all of your reds are dfiferent so theres no point in comparing ??

hwihwi: dfiferent

mandu: leave

nielmoyed: also @ sungwoon hyung

cloudy by yui: ignored

nielmoyed: jihoonie looks hot either way so

pearjin: why do yall always do this istg

nielmoyed: stay salty

the better pink sausage: <3

nielmoyed: <3

tteongwu: omg all of a sudden cherry jihoon is a thing now ?

gallyang: ok but where was cherry minhyun

chamsae: CHERRY WOOJIN FOR THE WIN

linlin: if i dye my hair red will i be cherry linlin

hwihwi: omg cherry linlin is the cutest thing ive heard today

mandu: ok where the frick are our tickets

mandu: what is taking our old leader so long

nielmoyed: well

nielmoyed: he’s old

gallyang: daniel behave

nielmoyed: :D

tteongwu: guys lets play a game ok i’ll go first

cloudy by yui: uM im the eldest so shouldn’t /i/ go first

pearjin: i dont wanna play

tteongwu: I’LL GO FIRST

mandu: ugh

tteongwu: i spy with my little eye something small

linlin: is it sungwoon hyung

cloudy by yui: WATCH IT GULLIVER

gallyang: how small is small

the better pink sausage: is it daniel’s patience

nielmoyed: hey >:(

chamsae: is it the brains of our management

pearjin: OH SHIT

tteongwu: i legit got chills

nielmoyed: im scared now

gallyang: woojin im not covering for you if you get in trouble i hope you know that

hwihwi: oh i know

hwihwi: its seongwoo hyung’s math skills

pearjin: no its his stamina

cloudy by yui: wtf jinyoung “dont wanna play” my ass

tteongwu: i … came out to have a good time

gallyang: oh my god

the better pink sausage: THAT IS SO OLD HYUNG WTF

tteongwu: and im honestly feeling so attacked right now???

cloudy by yui: i legit almost cried

gallyang: same

cloudy by yui: seongwoo you have no idea how much i wanna throw my luggage at your face right now

nielmoyed: ooh can i join

cloudy by yui: how dare you bring up an old meme

cloudy by yui: now IM the one feeling attacked

pearjin: this is so sad alexa play never

cloudy by yui: THOSE ARENT FUNNY STOP

gallyang: daniel is over here laughing his head off

gallyang: not that that says much but w/e

mandu: its his eye

hwihwi: ???

the better pink sausage: huh

mandu: he said i spy with my LITTLE eye

cloudy by yui:

tteongwu:

gallyang: jaehwan he cant even SEE his eye

mandu: HE COULD BE LOOKING IN A MIRROR BRUH IDK

tteongwu: no you all suck

chamsae: or maybe you suck at giving clues

the better pink sausage: lmao true

nielmoyed: HYUNG IS HERE

pearjin: FINALLY

tteongwu: k well

tteongwu: the answer was my love for all you losers xoxo

tteongwu: i hope you all get the mean flight attendant

***

seonho: have you landed yet

seonho: hyung

seonho: hyunggggg

seonho: hyunnnnngggggggggg

seonho: …

seonho: ok well you’re probably still in the air so imma just spam you

seonho: first of all wooseok hyung says hi

seonho: well all of the pentagon hyungs say hi

seonho: but wooseok hyung especially misses you

seonho: he said to call him when you land BUT CALL ME FIRST OKAY

seonho: yuqi noona and shuhua noona say hi too

seonho: OH and eunbin noona says hi too

seonho: they said to bring them snacks

seonho: that means you better bring me snacks too

seonho: drink lots of water hyung!

seonho: and don’t forget to stretch!

seonho: go out there and kill it tonight <3

seonho: i miss you lots so hurry back to korea when you can and come visit meeeee

seonho: you better promise me linnie hyung!

***

guanlin: omg seonho hi

guanlin: sorry we just got to the hotel! my phone was dead so i had to charge it

seonho: YAY YOU’RE ALIVE

guanlin: ofc i’m alive ^^

guanlin: did you wanna facetime

guanlin: it’ll have to be quick tho we gotta rehearse at the venue

seonho: yee yee :D

***

“Hyung, I’m gonna FaceTime with Seonho!” Guanlin called out from his spot near the wall where his phone was charging.

“Make it quick,” Minhyun said, one hand texting on his phone while the other was stuffing spare clothes and toiletries into his backpack. “We have to go soon or we’ll be late.”

“I will!”

Guanlin pushed the call button. The dial tone rang for a second until Seonho immediately picked up and his face filled up the screen.

“Hi, hyung!”

Guanlin grinned. “Hey, there. How is everything?”

“Same old, same old,” Seonho said, fiddling with the filters. Guanlin could see his friend strolling through the hallways of Cube Entertainment and could hear the trainees and artists bustling and practicing in the background. “How was the flight?”

“Meh,” Guanlin muttered, moving closer to the window for better lighting. “I fell asleep, so it was whatever.”

“I see,” Seonho nodded, pensive. “Did you eat yet?”

Guanlin shook his head. “I wasn’t hungry.”

“You have to eat before the concert, hyung!” Seonho urged. “Not too much or your stomach will hurt, but eat something!”

Guanlin knew this already, but humored his dongsaeng by nodding and saying, “I will, Seonho, don’t worry.”

Seonho hummed, and Guanlin could see him move towards a door that led into one of the dance studios. Seonho knocked twice and entered (without waiting for a response) and Guanlin suddenly heard a myriad of voices which he could immediately recognize as Seonho moved closer to the group.

“Guys, Guanlin is on the phone!”

“Guanlin?”

“Guanlinie?”

“Ooh, our superstar!”

“How are you?”

“Hi, Guanlin!”

“Where are you?”

“He’s in Malaysia,” Seonho answered. “He’s about to go though, so say hi, everyone!”

“Hi, Guanlin!”

“Guanlin, hello!”

“Guys, one at a time!”

“Eldest first.”

Seonho handed the phone to Eunbin who smiled brightly upon seeing her cute dongsaeng. “Guanlinie!”

Guanlin couldn’t help a small blush as his cheeks rose from smiling. “Hi, noona.”

“How are you? Are you well?”

Guanlin chuckled. “I’m fine, noona. Just a little tired, as always.”

“As always? That’s not good,” Eunbin scolded. “Are you sleeping enough?”

Guanlin shuffled a bit in his seat. “I slept on the plane.”

Eunbin gave a piercing stare. “…And?”

“And…?”

“Have you been sleeping for more than four hours in a bed?”

Guanlin cheekily turned around to bring the hotel bed in frame. “Hotels have beds, noona.”

Eunbin scoffed, clearly not impressed with the poor response. “So no.” Before Guanlin could sputter out an argument, she sighed, “Take care of yourself, Guanlin. Or I’m telling Wooseok-oppa and he’s not going to be happy.” She smiled softly. “There’s only one of you and we’re happy for you, bu—”

“Unnie, you’re taking too long!” The screen blurred and quickly focused on Yuqi and Shuhua. “Guanlin!” they shouted in unison.

Guanlin brightened. “Hello, noona. Have you eaten?”

Shuhua rolled her eyes. “Of course we have. Have you?”

Yuqi nodded with a laugh. “We’ve actually been eating too much.”

“I’ll eat later with the hyungs,” Guanlin said, avoiding their worried glances. “We have practice now so I’d rather not upset my stomach, you know?”

“Fair.” Yuqi said. “Ah! Seonho said you would bring us snacks!”

“True!” Shuhua added. “What are some popular snacks in Malaysia?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Guanlin said, a bit sheepish. “If I find anything, I’ll be sure to bring some back to Korea.”

Seonho poked his head into the frame. “Don’t forget to bring some back for me, too!”

“Yes, I’ll bring twice as many snacks for you, don’t worry,” Guanlin said, playfully rolling his eyes.

“Hyung is the best!”

“Have a good concert, Linlin!” Yuqi cheered. “Fighting!”

“Fighting, Guanlin!” Shuhua added, holding up a fist to her face.

Guanlin mimicked the action. “Thank you, guys. I wish you c—”  

“Guanlin, we have to go.” Sungwoon urgently called from the other side of the room. “The venue is already packed with fans…” he muttered.

“Okay, I’m almost done!” Guanlin replied and turned back to his labelmates with a sympathetic glance. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“No, no, it’s fine!” Yuqi said, enthusiastic as always. “Have a good concert!”

“Bye, Guanlin!” Shuhua exclaimed before she and Yuqi both disappeared from the frame as Seonho took control of the phone again.

He smiled. “Good luck tonight, hyung!” he chirped happily. “Tell me how it goes!”

Guanlin nodded. “I will.”

“We’re rooting for you, superstar!”

“Of course,” Guanlin said, smiling wistfully. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, hyung! Fighting!”

Guanlin waved, his lips pressed into a reluctant smile, before ending the call.

He sighed. The price of fame, he thought, but only for a brief moment because Minhyun and Sungwoon were already heading out the door.

***

95’s only (7)

minhyun: jjuyah

jonghyun: what

minhyun: care to explain to me why donghoe is threatening to bite you

minhyun: on instagram of all places

minki: lol

youngmin 1: “threatening” yea sure min

seongwoo: damn jjuyah

seongwoo: never thought you’d be the type

seongwoo: i am shook :O

jonghyun: ok first of all

jonghyun: no

jonghyun: second of all he never actually bit me you weirdos

jonghyun: yall need to chill

jonghyun: it was a joke and i asked him to say that so >_>

minhyun: ...

seongwoo: sus

youngmin 2: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONGHO

dongho: minhyun you need to chill

dongho: and aww thanks youngmin!

youngmin 2: the kids hope to see you soon they miss you

dongho: likewise

youngmin 2: :)

dongho: yo minhyun where’s my gift

minhyun: what

dongho: >:(

minhyun: i’ll buy it in malaysia … ??

dongho: wow

dongho: so it’ll be late then

minhyun: dongho shut up we never do gifts

dongho: well maybe i want a gift this year

minhyun: I BOUGHT YOU SHIT FROM JAPAN AND AMERICA WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH

dongho: that doesn’t count

dongho: you flaker

seongwoo: hi sorry omg the staff was pissing me off

seongwoo: anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONGHO YOU GORGEOUS HUMAN

seongwoo: deja vu was not appreciated enough and i am like

seongwoo: super offended ??

seongwoo: lemme steal all the trophies for you

seongwoo: a bop like that made by a king like you needs more love

dongho: LOL its fine seongwoo

dongho: i’m happy you enjoyed the song :)

dongho: and we never cared too much about the trophies

dongho: but thank you ^^

youngmin 1: someone come fetch minki

youngmin 1: he wont let me get up

minki: stop you’re comfy

minki: werent you the one who said you would protect me

youngmin 1: YEAH PROTECT YOU FROM DONGHO WHO’S NOT EVEN HERE

dongho: i wasn’t even mad tho

seongwoo: ooh can we talk about how dongho landed TWICE on the brand ranking this month

seongwoo: AND he beat me ???

seongwoo: legends only

dongho: i beat minhyun so that’s all that matters LOL

minhyun: i don’t like you

youngmin 1: oh about that

youngmin 1: im like

youngmin 1: lowkey salty that im not even in the ranking

youngmin 1: :((((

youngmin 1: i mean i don’t care THAT much but like

dongho: aww hyung

jonghyun: hyung we still love you

minki: tbh who cares

minki: we still have labiotte right so

minhyun: yo labiotte has some neat stuff they better let me model for them later

dongho: lol imagine if they don’t

seongwoo: the best joke of the century tbh

youngmin 1: well

youngmin 1: remember when minki said nu’est w would last forever

minki: oh my god choke

minhyun: wow

minki: i didn’t mean it like THAT j e su s

youngmin 1: lol sorry minhyun

minhyun: i feel

minhyun: so betrayed right now

dongho: rest in pieces bud :D

Chapter Text

wanna burn down ymc and swings (11)

mandu: everyone step aside

tteongwu: rood

mandu: jeong sewoon just did thatTM and ended all you hoes

hwihwi: um

linlin: am i also a hoe

tteongwu:

pearjin: yes

the better pink sausage: LOLLL

yoonjumma: no guanlin ignore him

linlin: kay

mandu: no but can you belIEVE

nielmoyed: i heard that

cloudy by yui: good lord

mandu: my BOY

mandu: KING JEONG SEWOON

mandu: just released the best album of 2018

yoonjumma: hey jaehwan whats your fansite name

mandu: kim jaehwan

yoonjumma: hmm never heard of her

chamsae: ha

nielmoyed: yo that mv was highkey beautiful

nielmoyed: why cant we go to nice places :(((

hwihwi: having amazing cinematic mv’s?

hwihwi: swings can’t relate

gallyang: the song was good too~ i mean all the songs are good but im a 20 something stan

gallyang: and a waterfall stan

chamsae: thats already like

chamsae: a third of the album

the better pink sausage: oh my god good job woojin!

chamsae:

the better pink sausage: do you want a cookie for that math

chamsae: actually yes

chamsae: make it gluten free xoxo

the better pink sausage:

mandu: wtf stan the whole thing you cowards

cloudy by yui: minhyun ily but pls stop singing that chorus all the time

cloudy by yui: bc now i’m singing it all the time

mandu: i fail to see the problem here

pearjin: wait but same

pearjin: im not even 20 wth

tteongwu: yeah ok so i love 20 something too

tteongwu: but

mandu: *gasps*

mandu: im triggered

tteongwu: BIN CH LET ME FINISH

linlin: why do we even say binch

linlin: that’s just bad spelling ;~;

pearjin: i

the better pink sausage: linnie is really out here asking the real questions

yoonjumma: wait guanlin what do you mean “we” >:(

tteongwu: as i was saying

tteongwu: cash me outside twerking to la la

cloudy by yui: uh

gallyang: hard pass

chamsae: ooh sounds fun lemme join

tteongwu: hype

nielmoyed: i am so ready to watch this crash and burn whos with me

pearjin: as a pyromaniac

gallyang: ……

yoonjumma:

hwihwi: oh

linlin: ;~;

pearjin: omg im kidding

tteongwu: hi kidding im scared

mandu: fucking shit i leave you hoes for two mins and woojin is trying to twerk

the better pink sausage: trying

the better pink sausage: you mean failing

nielmoyed: *sigh* like i said

mandu: you all suck

mandu: woojin :)

mandu: seongwoo :)

tteongwu: wheres my respect smh

mandu: if you even THINK of tarnishing my boy’s song with your subpar dance moves

gallyang: funny how you assume that they think

cloudy by yui: so you agree with the subpar dance moves part lol

yoonjumma: yo who wants food

linlin: meeeee

hwihwi: what are we having

yoonjumma: tonight’s special is disappointment with a side of facewalling

the better pink sausage: um

yoonjumma: and for dessert we are having prayers

hwihwi:

pearjin: ew

cloudy by yui: wait what if im allergic to faces

cloudy by yui: namely yours

yoonjumma: then you can have the basic order of shut the fuck up

nielmoyed: :\\\\\ well that doesn’t sound fulfilling at all

yoonjumma: be grateful i made it myself

the better pink sausage: question how do you make a prayer

mandu:

chamsae: see i told you he was a demon

chamsae: doesn’t even know how to pray smh

mandu: as a child of god

cloudy by yui: goodbye

mandu: i have chosen the path of forgiveness

tteongwu: hooray

chamsae: wait to me or to him

mandu: to all of you

hwihwi: im not even doing anything wrong wtf

pearjin: you just swore

pearjin: that’s something wrong

hwihwi: you know what

pearjin: no

mandu: but as a warning

nielmoyed: no ones gonna follow that wyd

mandu: :)

mandu: try to ruin sewoon’s album for me one more time and i will not hesitate to castrate you both with a ruler got it

chamsae: ………

tteongwu: uh

mandu: cool :)

the better pink sausage: forget the fansite jaehwan hyung should just be the fucking bodyguard

mandu: you think i wont

nielmoyed: lol imma just

nielmoyed: hide my rulers now

nielmoyed: haha :)

cloudy by yui: jaehwan what the fuck

gallyang: daniel why did you even bring a ruler in the first place

gallyang: in what circumstance would you need to measure anything ???

nielmoyed: oh they weren’t for me they were for sungwoonie hyung

cloudy by yui:

nielmoyed: he sometimes asks me to measure his insoles so he can feel tall enough

cloudy by yui: bitch

nielmoyed: <3

***

gallyang: jaehwan is having a vlive~ i repeat

cloudy by yui: unnecessary but go off i guess

gallyang: JAEHWAN IS HAVING A VLIVE

nielmoyed: wth is that why he said i couldn’t come over

nielmoyed: bitch

cloudy by yui: peep that chojujang box we weren’t supposed to show lmao

the better pink sausage: how long before he notices

hwihwi: plot twist hyung did it on purpose to piss off the staff

tteongwu: wow same

chamsae: tfw hyung promotes us better than swings

chamsae: pr team whats good

cloudy by yui: omg play the songs all the way through

cloudy by yui: do it you won’t

yoonjumma: lol right

pearjin: wow hyung messed up our song

pearjin: now we know which unit is his least favorite :)

the better pink sausage: alexa reacts only

gallyang: oh my god

gallyang: his cheeks

tteongwu: uh

gallyang: he’s so cute‼‼!

gallyang: ahh  

cloudy by yui: calm yourself

gallyang: imma pinch them when he comes back

yoonjumma:

hwihwi: lol he said he loves eating to excuse his lack of a six pack

the better pink sausage: yeah we know we were there

hwihwi: shut up jeojang

hwihwi: we love a relatable man

chamsae: i want someone to go to his room and scare him

tteongwu: i second this notion

yoonjumma: no

chamsae: wait that came out wrong hang on

chamsae: can i tell hyung that i love him dearly and give him a hug

the better pink sausage: no that would actually scare him

chamsae: frick you

yoonjumma: no

yoonjumma: let the man sing

chamsae: ugh

the better pink sausage: actually tho

the better pink sausage: look he’s singing the truth untold

the better pink sausage: aka an anthem by my KINGS

gallyang: im internally crying

gallyang: our jjaenie is so talented

cloudy by yui: oh my god can we PLEASE get to my favorite part of the vlives

linlin: whats that

pearjin: he means the capture time linnie

cloudy by yui: yeh

cloudy by yui: i need more memes

pearjin: oh i think he’s doing it

pearjin:

pearjin: my eyes

nielmoyed: oof that was rough

gallyang: omg let him live you dicks

tteongwu: i bet i could pull it off better

gallyang: k well no one asked seongwoo

tteongwu: >:(

cloudy by yui: welp at least i got my memes

chamsae: ooh hyung show me

cloudy by yui: no

hwihwi: lol @ our wannables trying to scare him

hwihwi: is it too late to third woojin’s proposal

yoonjumma: yes.

the better pink sausage: that period tho

hwihwi: :(

yoonjumma: why don’t you all go to sleep yeesh

cloudy by yui: you can sleep first hyung

cloudy by yui: aint no one stopping you

yoonjumma: you know what i just might

nielmoyed: *whispers* finally

yoonjumma: jk i changed my mind niel come here

nielmoyed: no

nielmoyed: jihoon help

the better pink sausage: yall hear sumthn ??

nielmoyed:

nielmoyed: wow ok guess who’s sleeping by himself tonight

linlin: all ?? of us ???

tteongwu: lol true (but linnie you are free to come over if you get bored or something)

nielmoyed: im not sleeping with you tonight jihoon i hope you know that

the better pink sausage: mmkay

nielmoyed:

the better pink sausage: good luck with that <3

nielmoyed: ……

chamsae: ok im bored imma sleep gn losers

yoonjumma: KANG DANIEL

nielmoyed: yeet

***

95’s only (7)

jonghyun: happy birthday minnie!

minhyun: <3 <3 <3

youngmin 1: wheeee hbd minhyun~

youngmin 2: happy birthday minhyunie!

minki: happy day of birth my fellow min

dongho: hbd

minhyun: lol thank you everyone

minhyun: dongho where’s my gift

dongho: i know you think i didn’t get you anything

minhyun: ??

dongho: which is almost true

minhyun: what

dongho: but nah i shipped it to you

minhyun: … you what

dongho: yeah so idk when it’ll come lmao

jonghyun: wait dongho why didn’t you just

jonghyun: give it to him by hand

dongho: bc my dear jonghyun

minhyun: watch it

dongho: my aim in life is to piss off your boyfriend as much as humanly possible :)

minhyun: rudeass bitch

seongwoo: yo minhyunie did you like my present

minhyun:

minhyun: sure

minki: wow that shade

seongwoo: D<

youngmin 2: lol what did he get

minhyun: he gave me medicine

youngmin 1: so?

youngmin 2: what kind

minki: omg does it matter

youngmin 2: chill im just CURIOUS

minhyun: i didn’t NEED medicine aron

youngmin 1: k but at least my bro seongwoo over here was being thoughtful

seongwoo: YEAH

seongwoo: thanks aron bro <3

youngmin 1: <3

minhyun: aron hyung thanks for the labiotte products ???

minhyun: its all nicely wrapped too i approve

youngmin 1: you’re welcome! :D

minhyun: i didn’t need makeup either but whatever

youngmin 1: but look it’s signed by us

youngmin 1: you got the special package~ :D

minki: oh hyung did you remember to include the card

youngmin 1: … the what

seongwoo: lol

minki: the … card ??? the one dongho and i gave to you to sign ???

youngmin 1: oh

youngmin 1: um

youngmin 2: bruh

youngmin 1: haha do you mean this card i’m holding that says HBD MINHYUN WE MAYBE SORTA KINDA LOVE YOU

minki: hyung whyyyyy ;~;

youngmin 1: im SORRY

dongho: ugh i knew this would happen

dongho: minki i TOLD you this is why we shoulda let jonghyun do it

jonghyun: ha sucks to suck

jonghyun: i wrote my own card

dongho: ofc you did

jonghyun: i hope you liked it minnie

minhyun: babe you know i did <3

seongwoo: the duality of hwang minhyun never fails to astound me

seongwoo: y’all should see what he’s like over on our side

dongho: seongwoo we KNOW what he’s like

dongho: we’ve known him for like a decade

seongwoo: k well im just saying

youngmin 2: minhyunie im sorry i couldn’t get you a gift

youngmin 2: i frankly forgot bc of comeback stuff

minhyun: youngmin its fine i don’t care that much

minhyun: it’s the thought that counts

youngmin 2: :)

dongho: wth i have nice thoughts

dongho: look i made a wish that you wouldn’t hit your big head on anything today

minhyun: literally choke

seongwoo: omg i just remembered

seongwoo: guys

minhyun: stop

dongho: no shush seongwoo spill

seongwoo: ok so sungwoon-hyung bought the robot vacuum from zero base as a gift but he “forgot” to buy batteries

minki: tragic

seongwoo: and we don’t have batteries so minhyunie told jaehwan to go out and buy some

dongho: i already know where this is gonna go

youngmin 2: same

seongwoo: so jaehwan did but he ended up buying the wrong size

dongho: called it

minki: rip jaehwan

seongwoo: and the look on minhyun’s face when he found out was so priceless

minhyun: *sigh*

seongwoo: damn i wish i took a picture

jonghyun: wait so

jonghyun: does he have the batteries now

seongwoo: oh yeah our manager went out and got some

seongwoo: after minnie almost cried that is

minhyun: I DIDN’T CRY

minki: lol he totally cried

dongho: totes

minhyun: DIE

youngmin 1: jonghyun you should be careful

jonghyun: ?

youngmin 1: minhyun might end up marrying that vacuum cleaner later on

minki: lol @ this competition

minhyun: alright y’all bitches need to go to bed

dongho: nah

minki: im not tired and youre not the boss of us <3

youngmin 2: lol i should tho im about to collapse

youngmin 2: gn all

youngmin 2: ttyl

jonghyun: good night!

minki: gn youngmin!

youngmin 1: good night~

youngmin 1: sleep tight

youngmin 1: wait where does that even come from

youngmin 1: why not like

youngmin 1: sleep loose

minhyun:

dongho: what

seongwoo: bro u gud

minki: ignore him

jonghyun: so anyway who’s excited for kcon la

seongwoo: MEEE

seongwoo: BITCH IM SO READY

minki: so is aron hyung he’s already packed lmao

minhyun: wait omg

minhyun: aron

minhyun: im actually kinda proud

minhyun: good job hyung ^^

youngmin 1: :)

jonghyun: hyung can you come get noah

jonghyun: he keeps wanting me to feed him and im like

jonghyun: stop getting me to feed you with those puppy eyes you know i can’t resist

jonghyun: do you want to be fat no i don’t think so

youngmin 1: lol k i’m coming

minhyun: jjuyah i would be happier if we were performing on the same day

seongwoo: oh

seongwoo: right

seongwoo: :( ugh now im sad again

seongwoo: i was so looking forward to being #blessed by nu’est w

minki: lol

dongho: mm

dongho: think of it this way minnie

dongho: if we performed on the same day i would totally outsing you

minhyun:

dongho: think of this as saving your pride :)

minhyun: bitch we have a jaehwan

dongho: oh sure jaehwan is a god i actually respect him

seongwoo: oof

dongho: kindly tell him i said so

minhyun: no

seongwoo:  yh no his ego would explode

minki: can we talk about the stage tho

youngmin 1: let’s not

youngmin 1: and spare me the headache

minki: ok but WHICH SIDE DO WE FACE

minki: WHO THOT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA

seongwoo: mnet hates everyone: confirmed

Chapter Text

wanna burn down ymc and swings (11)

hwihwi: yoo l.a is about to be lit af

nielmoyed: YAYYY HYPE

pearjin: we just passed by three food places i hAVE to go to

pearjin: like

pearjin: i will fight someone

pearjin: right now

yoonjumma: no fighting

pearjin: >:(

gallyang: speak for yourself hyung

gallyang: my baby isn’t here right now and i am sad to my core

cloudy by yui: whos even surprised anymore

nielmoyed: wait but like same

nielmoyed: i haven’t seen jonghyunie hyung in so long :(

gallyang: mnet hates me

gallyang: when ive been nothing but NICE and a fucking SWEETHEART

mandu: um

cloudy by yui: lol as if being nice would ever sway msnek

cloudy by yui: i mean look at our poor jonghyunie amirite

gallyang: stop it still hurts

nielmoyed: :(

gallyang: can you believe im even missing dongho

gallyang: KANG FUCKING DONGHO

tteongwu: jesus its worse than i thought

yoonjumma: minhyun do you need to talk

gallyang: nah im just

gallyang: venting

gallyang: also don’t tell dongho i said that or i’ll fling myself into the ocean

cloudy by yui: *whispers* tell him

linlin: hyung :(

the better pink sausage: everyone shush i just saw a chicken place

the better pink sausage: who do i gotta bribe to go

chamsae: try our entire staff

the better pink sausage: fuck that shit they don’t deserve my coin

the better pink sausage: except the bodyguard i like him

mandu: hi i have a question why are we doing burn it up

mandu: i was done with that song

nielmoyed: highkey same

chamsae: hey but im not gonna say no to showing my abs

tteongwu: i cant believe they let you do that when you werent even LEGAL

chamsae: :)

the better pink sausage: i have a better question

the better pink sausage: WHY ARENT WE DOING BOOMERANG

cloudy by yui: nah fuck that im not a boomerang stan

the better pink sausage: but hyUNG

the better pink sausage: i was sO ready to wing wing wing ugh

the better pink sausage: that song was MADE for me

the better pink sausage: the WING-KEU boy ?????

nielmoyed: darling

the better pink sausage: DANIEL DONT DARLING ME

nielmoyed: *heavy sigh*

nielmoyed: kitten

tteongwu: excuse me what

cloudy by yui: ??????

mandu: uM

the better pink sausage: ………..

nielmoyed: shhh

the better pink sausage: :((((

tteongwu: i—

cloudy by yui: alright lemme just nope real quick

hwihwi: purity has left the chat

pearjin: rt

gallyang: yeah i don’t know how i feel anymore

nielmoyed: :)

mandu: k so anyway they should let us do Never again

mandu: give me the spotlight i deserve challenge

tteongwu: i approve of this idea

tteongwu: our wannables deserve to see my iconic EVERYTIME EVERYWHERE

tteongwu: oy

tteongwu: shut up daniel i can see you snickering

nielmoyed: YOU DO IT FUNNY OKAY

gallyang: iconic is a stretch when I’M the center but sure.

tteongwu: ooh idea

tteongwu: we should sabotage the sound booth and fix the setlist

pearjin: yas a spy mission i am here for this

chamsae: if we’re not using walkie talkies whats the point

yoonjumma: oh god

yoonjumma: wake me up when yall are done

cloudy by yui: we did never last year tho

mandu: hence the AGAIN OMG HYUNG LEARN TO READ

cloudy by yui: heY calm the fuck down i was just SAYING

cloudy by yui: is this what jetlag does to you youngins

linlin: can i give an unpopular opinion

tteongwu: ofc linnie

pearjin: no

linlin: i like burn it up

nielmoyed:

linlin: :3

nielmoyed:

nielmoyed: im fine

hwihwi: lol rip

pearjin: LMAO seongwoo hyung just stared and quietly turned around without saying anything

gallyang: wow not saying anything you all can’t relate

cloudy by yui: rude af

nielmoyed: ok imma sleep with jihoon now

mandu: ew literally no one cares

nielmoyed: k gnite to everyone except jaehwan

***

***

***

95’s only (7)

seongwoo: dongho~

dongho: ?

seongwoo: minhyunie says he misses you

dongho: oh

dongho: cool i guess

minhyun:

minhyun: seongwoo.

seongwoo: whee gotta blast

youngmin 1: wait what about us

minki: obviously not

youngmin 1: wow

youngmin 1: okay hwang

youngmin 2: seongwoo hows l.a

seongwoo: we havent done anything yet

seongwoo: but jihoon is forcing us to go out to eat chicken after

seongwoo: as if we don’t have chicken back in korea but whatever

seongwoo: the demon is scary

minhyun: not as scary as me when i beat your ass

seongwoo: do you see this abuse

jonghyun: i hope you guys have a good show ~

youngmin 2: ^ what he said

seongwoo: no worries bugi we are so ready to slay

minhyun: seongwoo doesn’t even have his makeup done don’t listen to him

seongwoo: IM NOT THE ONE WHO TOOK FOREVER TO PUT ON FOUNDATION DON’T @ ME

minki: smh minhyun what happened to those makeup tips i taught you

minhyun: uh i forgot

dongho: ha

dongho: typical

minhyun: seongwoo go get your makeup done and stop pestering jihoon

seongwoo: i literally am not doing anything

seongwoo: he started it

minki: tsk

minki: children amirite

youngmin 1: have we figured out the wiggly stage yet

minhyun: lmao nope

minhyun: i’ll let you know later how it is in person

dongho: we’ll be fine guys

jonghyun: yeah but there’s only four of us

jonghyun: it’ll be hard to spread out

jonghyun: twelve if you include our backup dancers but still idk

jonghyun: im not a fan of this squiggly stage

jonghyun: i feel bad for the fans we’re facing our backs to :(((

seongwoo: yeah same :\\

minhyun: SEONGWOO

minhyun: GO GET YOUR MAKEUP DONE

seongwoo: YES DAD

minki: wow ok it’s late

minki: good night all

youngmin 1: wait dongho did you feed noah

dongho: nope

youngmin 1: uH

jonghyun: i already fed him hyung!

youngmin 1: oh thank god

youngmin 1: jonghyun is god confirmed

youngmin 1: i only have you in this cruel world

youngmin 1: bless your soul

minhyun: jonghyun pm me

dongho: ya nasties

jonghyun:

seongwoo: SEE

seongwoo: LOOK AT THAT IM ALREADY DONE FUCKING FIGHT ME HWANG

dongho: ong chill

dongho: it’s probably bc your face doesn’t need that much work

youngmin 2: oof

seongwoo: oh

seongwoo: aw dongho :’)

seongwoo: ha ya hear that minnie

minhyun: nope

minki: tbh i always hated how minhyun got that nickname when i am ALSO A MIN

minki: jonghyun i blame you for this

youngmin 2: if we’re talking about min erasure what about me

youngmin 2: and aron-hyung too i guess

youngmin 1: lol

minhyun: yo hey ashley

minhyun: *whispers* i was born in busan first

dongho: ...

minki: hey werent you canoodling with jonghyun in your sacred pm’s

minki: go away

seongwoo: werent yall going to bed

youngmin 1: nah i’ll take my chances and sleep on the plane

youngmin 1: also noah needs me whee

minki: but hyung your skin

minki: and your pores

minki: :\\\\\

youngmin 1: nOAH NEEDS ME

youngmin 1: and i will not take this slander minki

dongho: alright gnite losers

dongho: and minhyun

minhyun: ?

dongho: gl with your face

minhyun:

***

***

***

bnm boys (4)

donghyun: our mv is out‼‼

youngmin: woot

woojin: oh

daehwi: i already saw it but yay!

daehwi: i’ll force jinyoungie hyung to stream it now~

woojin: meep

donghyun: ahEMM

woojin: what

donghyun: we watched your mv

donghyun: pay up bitch

youngmin: love us lots bbuing bbuing

woojin: no

donghyun: wow ok so since SOmEONE here doesn’t appreciate ART

woojin:

donghyun: hyung and i are on a Mission

youngmin: what

donghyun: TO SLAY ALL YOUR FAVES

youngmin: oh

donghyun: wanna one who

donghyun: in this house we only appreciate mxm

woojin has left bnm boys

youngmin: oy

youngmin added woojin

daehwi: wait what about me

donghyun: **mxm and daehwi

woojin: no hyung pls i was having a good time

youngmin: be nice

youngmin: respect your elders you brat

woojin: hah

woojin: @donghyun hyung just called you old

donghyun: elder just means i’m older than you you twit

donghyun: how do you feel being a grandfather to daehwi huh

daehwi: i’ve already said this but

daehwi: this mv is so cute~ i stan

donghyun: i mean yea you better

daehwi: but hyungs i was wondering

daehwi: where did you find that huge shirt

daehwi: i lowkey want it

daehwi: actually you know what im not even gonna lie i highkey want it

donghyun: ya know what i think we still have it somewhere

daehwi: O ~ O

donghyun: imma let you know

daehwi: IMMA LET YOU KNOW

youngmin: yo but did you know donghyun would nOT stop poking me under that shirt

youngmin: i wanted to die

donghyun: lol

daehwi: brb gonna scream at the hyungs about this bop

daehwi: and force them to listen to tracks 5 and 10 on the album can i get an amen

woojin: no

daehwi: >_>

daehwi: fine

daehwi: A M E N

youngmin: tfw you gotta do all the work smh

donghyun: woojin is That Group Member everyone this has been a psa

***

***

***

wanna burn down ymc and swings (11)

nielmoyed: guys look what i found

nielmoyed:

sms

gallyang: huh

tteongwu: LMAO WHERE DID THIS COME FROM

yoonjumma: … are these still relevant

hwihwi: oh god

yoonjumma: like i know i’m not hip anymore but

linlin: ive never even used most of these

hwihwi: same

pearjin: so many numbers lollll

gallyang: see this bothers me because like

gallyang: the time it takes to find the number on the keyboard is probably longer than typing out the whole thing

chamsae: but hyung don’t you see

chamsae: typing out whole sentences makes you un-hip

tteongwu: he says as he types out a whole sentence

gallyang:

cloudy by yui: oh my god

cloudy by yui: BRO means bro

cloudy by yui: amazing

gallyang: ugh the more i look at this the more i hate it

the better pink sausage: hey daniel

nielmoyed: what

the better pink sausage: i hope u r having a gr8 day 2day

nielmoyed: please stop

the better pink sausage: hand!

tteongwu: im crying

chamsae: how the fuck does lul mean see you later

yoonjumma: language

hwihwi: @yg rename the blackpink song to LUL challenge

tteongwu: oh my god

tteongwu: LMAOOOOO

mandu: ??

tteongwu: i just googled it and it says

tteongwu: Lame Uncomfortable Laugh

tteongwu: iconic

mandu: wow @ me at everything

mandu: like when daniel laughs at the randomest things

mandu: lul

cloudy by yui: or when nielwink DO SHIT IN PUBLIC

cloudy by yui: MASSIVE L U L

nielmoyed: hey >:(

mandu: imma use that forever

mandu: oh wait sry

mandu: * w8

mandu: * 4ever

gallyang: daniel why did you show this i lost 87 brain cells reading this

linlin: why do we say we lost the brain cells

linlin: we should say that the brain cells died

linlin: because it’s not like you can

linlin: lose cells and find them again

tteongwu: linnie

tteongwu: honey child

tteongwu: you are thinking too hard

linlin: :(

cloudy by yui: don’t sweat it lin

cloudy by yui: we love a scientist

nielmoyed: ooh im a scientist

cloudy by yui: alright then answer me this

cloudy by yui: what happens to enzymes when they leave the lysosome

nielmoyed: the what

chamsae: the listerine

tteongwu: hes talking about the engines you idiot

mandu: idk whats happening

hwihwi: same

nielmoyed: wth sungwoon hyung i just wanted you to love me :(

nielmoyed: i don’t even like science that much

the better pink sausage: wow wait till dispatch hears about this

the better pink sausage: ongniel is science? omg she fuckin ded

chamsae:

chamsae: jihoon is smiling too much

chamsae: hyungs help

***

***

***

gallyang: not to be nsfw but

gallyang:

minhyun_in_cafe

gallyang:

minhyun_with_ice_cream

gallyang: i’m hot

pearjin: what do you see when you look into this ice cream

hwihwi: lol

mandu: wait that’s not even nsfw

gallyang: i SAID i wasn’t being nsfw

mandu:

the better pink sausage: hyung looks so good!

the better pink sausage: wow we love a man <3

nielmoyed: uh

nielmoyed: hi hello

tteongwu: yo wheres my credit bitch

gallyang: oh sorry

gallyang: pc: stupidhead

tteongwu: D<

cloudy by yui:

sungwoon_a_model

cloudy by yui:

sungwoon_supporting_gays

cloudy by yui: step aside minhyun a new visual is born

tteongwu: C R E D I T

nielmoyed: wow hyung it’s so nice of you to support the gays

nielmoyed: <3

gallyang: hyung if you’re such a visual why were you hiding in a bush

gallyang:

sungwoon_in_bushes

pearjin: lol those bushes are taller than you

cloudy by yui: heck off i was being ARTISTIC

cloudy by yui: guanlin and seongwoo posed with bushes too i don’t understand ???

tteongwu: wait

tteongwu: i took that picture

tteongwu: HWANG MINHYUN HOW DID YOU GET IN MY PHONE SKKSKKSKS

gallyang: :)

tteongwu: correction: we love a snake

tteongwu: im changing my password

tteongwu: anyway can we appreciate our model maknae

tteongwu:

cutie_guanlin

tteongwu:

guanlin_with_smoothie

yoonjumma: our baby ‼

hwihwi: guanlin when’s your supermodeling contract gonna start

linlin: aww thanks guys

linlin: hyung these photos came out so nice! <3 tyyyy~

chamsae: k das cool but if you didn’t get a picture with a kangaroo did you really go to australia

chamsae:

Woojin with Kangaroo

chamsae: methinks not

hwihwi:

daehwi_with_kangaroo

hwihwi: still the cutest thing ever <3

yoonjumma:

Jisung with Kangaroo

mandu: daehwi you are the cutest munchkin ever

mandu: and hyung it looks like its attacking you

yoonjumma: wth no it was hugging me

nielmoyed: wait i just bust a massive uwu that’s so cute omg

tteongwu: woot we interrupt this program for some visual slayage

tteongwu:

seongwoo_by_fence

tteongwu:

seongwoo_in_cave

tteongwu:

seongwoo_being_dramatic

gallyang: yo wheres MY credit huh

pearjin: omg the one by the water looks hella dramatic

the better pink sausage: you look like you’re about to be reincarnated as the doctor

tteongwu: OH MY GOD YES THAT’S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR

tteongwu: THANK YOU JIHOONIE YOU’RE THE BEST INTELLECTUAL <3 <3 <3

the better pink sausage: uh … yay ?

the better pink sausage: by the way woojin totally got lost lmao

chamsae: stOP SAYING I GOT LOST I WAS JUST ROAMING

mandu: woojin you were almost crying when we found you

chamsae: I WAS Y A W N I N G

cloudy by yui: lol sure sweetie

yoonjumma: we’re just glad you’re safe

gallyang: please don’t wander like that again ok

mandu: yeah we just want to make sure nothing happens to you

tteongwu: yo woojin do you need a chaperone

chamsae: F U CK

***

***

***

nielmoyed: someone kill me

yoonjumma: ?

cloudy by yui: ooh gladly

cloudy by yui: i mean what whut happened haha

the better pink sausage: ignore him

nielmoyed: i have never wanted to smash my laptop more than now

nielmoyed: does anyone have a bat

tteongwu: uh

tteongwu: i might

tteongwu: but you good?

the better pink sausage: (hyung why)

the better pink sausage: daniel’s just editing the footage from when we went skydiving

the better pink sausage: pretty sure he’s lowkey crying right now

gallyang: how does one lowkey cry

mandu: i think he’s just like

mandu: whimpering and making sad noises

mandu: i can hear him through the door lol

nielmoyed: why do i look ugly here wtf

yoonjumma: ??? uh ??? in what universe ???

the better pink sausage: oh my god imma slap him

the better pink sausage: hyung gimme the bat

nielmoyed: jihoonie and jinyoungie look so perf with their flowy beautiful hair and im like

nielmoyed: meh

the better pink sausage: >:(

the better pink sausage: daniel

the better pink sausage: sweetie

the better pink sausage: i love you

the better pink sausage: but please stop saying you look ugly ok you’re fucking perfect and i really think you should take a break you’ve been working on this for like an hour now

the better pink sausage: i know you wanna spoil the fans with a cool video but they’ll understand if you don’t get it up tonight

the better pink sausage: this should be time to relax, not feel bad about yourself and stress over stupid editing programs

the better pink sausage: your happiness matters so much more than some silly video so please

the better pink sausage: put the mouse down and come over?

mandu: oof jeojang coming in with the feels

nielmoyed: :(( jihoonie

the better pink sausage: cmon my love

nielmoyed: :(

gallyang: … well that happened

gallyang: i am ironically uwu now

cloudy by yui: i need to like

cloudy by yui: punch a wall to feel manly again idk

***

***

***

bnm boys (4)

donghyun: our second mv is out!

woojin: wow nu’est w hyungs are so powerful

donghyun: wait what

woojin: they sang about deja vu and lookie here im having a deja vu

donghyun: you’re not funny

youngmin: :(((

daehwi: what is it hyung

youngmin: why are people saying it’s cute ??? i wasn’t trying to be cute ???

daehwi: hyung you know you are like naturally cute right?

daehwi: don’t fight it

youngmin: >:(

daehwi: and that’s coming from the cutest person i know

donghyun: who

daehwi: me

youngmin: i vehemently disapprove

donghyun: vehemently

donghyun: anyway guys the brand reputation thing came out

donghyun: we all made it again w00t

daehwi: hype

woojin: HA I BEAT DAEHWI BY ONE

daehwi:

woojin: i mean ily daehwi haha

daehwi: 2ne1_i_ don_t_ care.mp3

donghyun: ooh i beat youngmin-hyung by seven :)))

youngmin: ok not to be a salt but like

youngmin: literally what is the point of these rankings when we’re all in groups and none of us get solo deals anyway???

daehwi: unless you’re daniel or jihoon hyungs lol

donghyun: who cares it’s a good ego boost tbh

youngmin: yeah as if you need any more of that

donghyun:

donghyun: im a needy bitch so what

woojin: well you know what they say

woojin: awareness is the first step to change :)

donghyun: ew

***

***

***

95’s only (7)

youngmin 2: someone help

dongho: ?

youngmin 2: donghyun won’t shut up about his brand ranking and im getting annoyed

dongho: oh god

dongho: that thing

seongwoo: wow minhyunie it looks like i win this month

seongwoo: after two months of always falling behind your big head BY ONE

seongwoo: i have reigned supreme

minhyun: you say this as if i care a lot

seongwoo: :) so you care a little?

minhyun: no i care more about why aron hyung isn’t even in the top 100 ???

jonghyun: actually though like :\\\

jonghyun: how ???

minki: maybe people can’t spell his name correctly

youngmin 1: omg guys it’s really not a huge deal ^^;;

youngmin 1: like we have labiotte now and i’m obv not gonna have any solo cf’s so like

youngmin 1: who cares

dongho: i mean

dongho: true

minki: but nu’est w is 4ever hyung!

minki: we need you up there too‼

minhyun: wow y’all just hate me at this point don’t you

dongho: who you

youngmin 2: lol

minhyun: you know what donghoe

minhyun: in a few months

minhyun: i can’t WAIT to take back the lines i deserve from you

dongho: ??? but you’re not taking my lines

seongwoo: oh?

dongho: you’re taking aron’s

dongho: and probably ren’s

minki: oy back off

youngmin 1: yeah minhyun back off

minhyun:

minhyun: jonghyun ?

jonghyun: who you

minhyun: i

youngmin 2: you know what’s funny

youngmin 2: i like how i asked for help to shut donghyun up and you all managed to do everything but

youngmin 2: y’all are great

seongwoo: <3

minki: baby we know

youngmin 1: thanks lol