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Adventures in Slayerdom

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Adventures in Slayerdom, Saturday



"Be quiet."

"Get down, they'll hear you."

"Jeez, relax would you. I know what I'm doing."

"Oh you do, do you? Then tell me, what does slaying have to do with your hand
being between my thighs?"

"Hey, you tell me, you're the one who let me put my hand there in the first

"God, Faith, I'm telling Angel not to send me on surveillance with you anymore."

"Yeah, you do that Cordy and be sure to tell him how you've got your shirt
unbuttoned to your waist, how you're not wearing a bra, how you showed me the
tattoo on your ass and especially how you keep touching my ear with your lips
every time you whisper to me."

"You're a real bitch, Faith."

"Yeah, I know but it works for me."

She was about to make a comeback when I cut her off. "Shhh." I said. "They've
found something."

There were three vampires in the cemetery digging up a grave, couldn't be
anything good. There was a strange, foul odor in the air also. I'd never smelled
anything quite like it before, smelled kind of like rotted flesh, left out in
the sun for a few days.

The vamps dug up a coffin, pulled it to the surface but instead of busting it
open, they removed a faux side and took out what appeared to be a small
ornamental box. Ornamental, damn, Cordy was rubbing off on me.
I moved to retrieve the box and of course get a little action and found myself
pulled back to the ground.

"Oh no you don't, Angel said to just observe, not engage and report back what we

"That's just it C, I can't report what's in the box cause I can't see it."

"Good point." She replied.

Just as I was about to make my move, something grabbed my ankles and pulled me
out of the bushes.

I found out what that awful smell was. There holding onto my ankles and looking
down at me was this glob of a thing. Slimy, oozing, gooey are the only words I
could form in my mind. Something like a snot monster or a puss monster, oh I
know, it looked like slimer off of the ghost busters or the snow beast off of
Scooby Doo.

I pulled my feet from whatever this beast was using to hold onto me with and
kicked the thing. My boot just kind of sunk in and came out covered in muck. I
jumped up and threw a right cross; it landed and sunk in, coming back to me
covered in mucus and bile.

"Damn! Ugh!" Oh man, I'm gonna be sick.

Cordelia emerged from the bushes. "Do something." She yelled.

"What the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?" I screamed back.

She threw the ops bag at me. I went through it: cross, tried it, no: holy water,
tried it, no: pepper spray, what the hell, nothing: sword, sliced through the
mucus, didn't work: co2 canister, hmmm.

"Cordy, you still got your .22?"


Now I had a plan. "I'm gonna throw the co2 at it, when I do, you shoot the

I threw the canister and it stuck center mass of the monster. "Shoot!" I yelled.

Nothing happened.

"Shoot!" I yelled again.

"Would you give me a minute to load it!" She snapped.

"It's not loaded?" I snapped back.

She became offensive, placing her hand on her hip. "You know you're supposed to
keep your gun separate from your bullets."

"That's if you're storing your gun at home and you have kids!" I yelled.

A light started to illuminate from the place where the vampires were.

"Hurry!" I yelled.

I ran toward the glob, jumped in the air, swinging my leg at the thing, hoping
to knock it over to give Cordy time enough to shoot the damned thing. It worked.
I got up, pulled my leg out of the slimy mess and ran toward the light.

"Faith!" I didn't answer. I had to see what was happening.


I was looking at the light. It was so bright it was burning my eyes. I had to
shield myself with my hands so I wasn't seeing much anyway.

I heard something coming up fast behind me. I turned around; it was that damned
gooey freak. I braced myself for the impact but it stopped dead in it's tracks,
looked at the light and the ground burning, turned and ran like a bat out of

The only good thing was it turned around and ran smack into the queen C,
knocking her over and lubing her up like a tube of k-y jelly. Sometimes life was

The creature kept on going, not stopping, not looking back, just running like
the wind.

Cordy just lay on the ground gagging.

I ran and grabbed up the ops bag that Cordy had dropped in the hit and run,
pulled out a small cross bow and went about removing the vamps surrounding the
light. One by one they compacted and left me alone to deal with the, whatever.
I was definitely out of my element here. The box seemed to be the cause of the
weird light so I figured if I shot the box out of the way, well the light would
stop. I mean, seems like a good idea, right?

As I released the arrow, the light released whatever it was meant to do. Up
through the ground came a dark cloud of smoke. I felt the earth rumble under my feet. I grabbed Cordy's hand and pulled her to a standing position.

I heard a crumbling sound causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. I
turned in the direction of the noise and found myself facing a crypt. Red eyes
were glaring at me through the darkness. I pushed Cordelia.

"Run!" I yelled. "Get help!"

She took off.

The building crumbled and they or it were after me. Shapeless forms of mist and
smoke, barely audible, barely visible but I could feel them.

I ran and they were on my heels.

All I could think was offensive tactics. I ran toward a gravestone, when I got
close enough I jumped up onto it using the momentum to do a flip backwards,
landing behind them. I spun around delivering a roundhouse kick. I expected to
make contact with something, anything and lost my balance when all I met with,
was air. I missed, it didn't.

They or it, whatever it was, swung out and made contact with my head. Claws
ripped through the skin on my face so fast and so hard that I was completely
flipped, landing on my stomach and eating dirt. I blew out a heavy breath and
sucked in all the air I could take, hoisted myself off the ground and ran.

I'm not sure how much time had passed while I was getting my ass kicked but it
felt like hours.

Help had finally arrived, after I don't know, a hell of a long time.

"Keep them busy!" Angel yelled.

Yeah right! Good idea! What the hell else was I gonna do? Monsters chasing my
ass and he wants me to keep running, like I was gonna friggin stop and let them
catch me.

Wesley and Angel cast a circle, lifted the box and began chanting.

Must've worked because eventually the thing that was after me got sucked back
into the box or ground or wherever it came from, hopefully for good.

After I caught my breath I made my way over to the others.

"I thought I told you two to observe, not engage." Angel stated.

"Don't look at me, look at danger girl!" Cordy replied.

"You bitch!" I yelled. "You know I didn't cause that to happen!"

Cordy laughed and I joined in. Somewhere over the past month or so, we'd become

She looked at me saying, "come on, lets get cleaned up and have some breakfast."

"Not so fast." Angel replied. "Faith, I need you to check out a crate at a

"Damn!" I stated, acting all hurt and put out. "Let me get cleaned up and I'll
check it out. What's the lot number?"


I finally made it to the warehouse and at least I was clean again. I found lot
number 236, opened it and basically found an empty box. I heard a noise so I
backed up into the shadows.

"Excuse me!" The voice said. "I'm trying to hide here."

I turned around. The cop. Great!

"What are you doing here?" She asked. "Are you stealing something?"

"No!" I replied. "I thought I saw something come in here and I thought I'd see
what was going on."

"Oh." She replied. "I see, and the thing you saw climbed into that crate that
you broke into, hmmmm."

She smiled and I couldn't help but move in closer.

"Whoa!" She said. "I forget how old you are."

I smiled. "Old enough to show you a few things."

"Is that right?" She replied.

I nodded my head in acknowledgment and leaned into her lips just barely
brushing against them before she pulled away.

"I'm on duty." She stated.

"Well, then frisk me, I'm your perp." I said as I gave her a wink.

She looked at me a few minutes then pounced, pushing me further back into the
shadows. She didn't waste any time, she covered my mouth with hers, licking and
sucking, probing deeper and harder.

She undid my belt, the snap and zipper and before I knew what going on she
plunged her hand inside the fabric of my jeans and was rubbing her fingers in a
circular motion against me.

Her radio kept going off. "Damn!" She cried out in frustration. She finally
stopped to answer it. "Shit!" She yelled. "I've got to go, there's an emergency."
She paused looking at me. "We're not finished, not by a long shot."

I nodded confirming her statement.

Wow, I found myself in an odd situation. I mean, I'd always been the doer and
with her I was being done. I didn't really know what to do. I walked out of
the warehouse with her. She turned and gave me a kiss before getting into her

"Meet me tomorrow, 7:00 pm at Ricardo's. We'll have dinner, talk and discuss
things." She smiled. "And Faith, just so you know, I did follow you into the
building." She laughed.

I smiled back, even laughed. "Oh yeah, well Kate, why do you think I went in

"Tomorrow." She said as she drove off.

Tomorrow, I thought. Damn! How could I wait till tomorrow when I was about to
explode now?

Oh, ok. I had an idea.

I made my way to my destination and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me."

The door opened slowly. "What do you want?" She asked.

"I want what we both want."

I moved inside the apartment and shut the door. I could see her thinking up
excuses already. I crossed the floor to her and brushed my lips over hers,
taking in her bottom lip and running my tongue across it before I removed my
lips from hers and moved on to her neck and ear lobe.

I began sighing into her ear, planting wet, steamy kisses along her neck,
whispering between breaths and kisses, "Cordy, I need you, I want you."
It didn't take long until her breathing pattern matched mine and she started
kissing me, touching me, rocking her body back and forth into mine.

The lights started flickering. I guess the ghost was getting pissed.

"Let's go into the bedroom so we can be alone." I said.

The bedroom door slammed as we neared it. It really didn't pose much of a
problem though, one good kick and it was open again. Cordy stepped through and I
turned around. "Dennis, come on, look at it this way, now you can have two
girlfriends and if you keep quiet and don't interrupt, you can watch, ok?" The
door opened all the way so I walked through and smiled as I pushed it to.

Cordy walked over to me, took my hand and led me to the bed. I turned her around
and began teasing her all over again. She was wearing a robe and as I untied the
sash and opened it, to my surprise, I found her completely unclothed.

I lightly trailed my fingers over her body, never giving her enough pressure to
satisfy her. I blew my hot breath against her neck and ears. She sighed in
frustration. I pulled back, smiled and laid her on the bed. I leaned over her
body; pressing my body against hers, kissing her, saying, "start without me."

"What?" She asked.

I looked her in the eyes. " I want to see how much you want and need me, let me

Her eyes went all big. I put my hand over hers and guided her to her breast. I
leaned in and ran my tongue over her exposed nipple, squeezing her hand against
her other breast. She caught on and began kneading her breast as I concentrated
on kissing down her body. When I reached her center, I slid my tongue inside the
folds and up, causing her to arch into me. I took her free hand and placed it on
her moist center. I looked up at her and gave her an encouraging nod.


"Shhh." I made my way back to her lips. "Please Cordy, I promise, I'm not trying
to trick you, ok?" She nodded. I got up off the bed and dropped my jacket to the

She looked me in the eyes and continued touching herself. I watched her as I

She squeezed her breasts with both hands, shutting her eyes, letting the feeling
take hold of her. Sighing, she spoke my name. "Faith."

I felt like my body was going to explode as I watched her trail her hands down
to her center. She spread her legs, opened herself up with one hand and began
building a rhythm against herself with the other. When my last article of
clothing hit the floor, I was wet, eager and ready to give her everything,
anything that she asked for.

I crawled up on the bed, trailing my hands and mouth up along her calves to her
thighs. When I reached that sweet spot, I blew my hot breath over it before I
let my tongue sink into the juices. She grabbed my head and pushed herself up
and into me. I took her swollen nub into my mouth and sucked gently on it. She
moaned. I inserted a finger inside of her and began a slow rhythm of licking and
thrusting. She moved against me, setting the pace, getting faster and harder. I
inserted another finger and applied more pressure with my tongue. She pushed my
head hard against her, arching into me, losing the rhythm she had. I responded
by thrusting harder, deeper into her and lapping harder, continuing her more
aggressive pace until I heard her cry out and shudder underneath my touch and
until I felt her walls clinch around my fingers.

I kissed her several times, making her body quake all over again. I kissed my
way up to her neck, only stopping long enough to run my tongue over her breasts
and take her nipples into my mouth.

I soothed her, waiting for her to come down from the high. I ran my fingers over
her, kissed her and whispered those things all women want to hear.

I turned over on my back and pulled her on top of me. She looked unsure.
"What's wrong?" I asked. "Oh, you've never......hmmmm, let me see." I picked up
one of her hands and looked it over. "You're gonna have to cut at least two of
those fingernails."

"What! Why?" She asked.

I just looked at her, waiting.

She thought about it a minute, then as it sunk in, her face turned a slight
shade of pink. She reached across me to the nightstand, opened the drawer and
took out a pair of nail clippers. She sighed and gave her sculpted nails a last
look before she snipped them off. I smiled.

She turned back to me, laid her body over mine and kissed me. Her hand found my
breast and she moved her body downward trailing her hardened nipples over my

Things were moving way to slow for me. I pushed her hand downwards, hoping she'd
take the hint. It took a few tries but finally it sunk in.

I sighed in relief. The pressure was just what I needed. I gave into the slow,
rhythmic motion, rocking against it, feeling her get bolder with every stroke,
faster, harder, more confident.

She trailed smoldering kisses down my body. Anticipation was building inside me.
I could feel her hot breath hit against my skin as her hand kept up its pace.
She continued downward. I arched into her, waiting for her to part me with her
mouth and tongue, closer and closer, her breath burning into me like fire. I
could feel her upon me, her lips brushing against my outer folds. I arched and


"Cordelia, are you all right?"

"Oh my god!" Cordelia stammered. She got up leaving me confused and angry, threw
on her robe and started grabbing up my clothes from around the room.

"Here." She stated and she threw my clothes at me. "Hurry!"

I found myself grasping at my falling clothes and being backed towards the
window and before I knew it, I was outside, butt naked, holding onto my clothes
in the bushes. Man, was this a flashback from hell. Been here, done this. I had
to laugh in spite of myself.


I spun around to see who was there. My mouth fell open, all the way to my bare

"B?" I asked more than stated. "What are you doing in L.A.?"

"I've got a better question." She said. "What are you doing in the bushes

"Huh? Oh!" I turned several shades of red and began pulling on my clothes.

I laced up my boots, tied them and stared at B, not knowing what to say and with
excuses racing through my brain of why I'm in the bushes in the buff.
She smiles at me all knowing and I flush a little bit more. Finally, she says,
"can't think of anything good, huh?"

I just look at her, laugh a little and shake my head. "No, not really." I pause
for a few seconds, then ask, "jealous?"

She looked up at me and cocked an eyebrow and smirked asking, "do you want me to

I couldn't believe it. She was playing with me. The girl who wanted to beat me
to death is playing with me.

I throw on my best, confused face, trying to look like I gave a damn, problem
was, I did give a damn.

I looked at her, head on, finally answering her last question. "Always have."

The air got thick and silence set in. I couldn't take the quiet. She didn't know
what to say and I sure as hell didn't. I gave in first, saying, "I've got to

I turned to leave, kicking myself for walking away from everything, especially
when things got hard.

"Wait!" She called out.

I kept on walking, ignoring her. I was best at leaving, always was. When the
going got tough, I got going.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping my retreat.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Nowhere, really. Wanna come?"

She nodded yes and we made our way to my ragged old jeep. She eyed it over,
seemed impressed that I'd have a ride at all and climbed in.

I'll admit it didn't look too good but the engine was prime, grade A. I turned
the key, it roared to life and we were off, destination, nowhere.

I turned down a side street and we ended up in a heavy construction zone, looked
like they were repaving or something. Orange barrels were everywhere, marking
our path.

Out of nowhere B blurted out, "I do care!"

I snorted a little, saying, "right."

She just got that patented, I'll show you look and jumped out of her seat almost
into mine.

She stuck her tongue into my ear, breathing heavily and ran her hand over my
breast and down to my crotch, where she ran her fingers over the inseam of my

Talk about being knocked stupid. I was so shocked that I ran off the road a
little bit.

I managed to gasp out. " Did you come all the way to L.A. to fuck me?"

She got offended and pulled away from me saying, " what do I have to do, Faith.

I was silent.

She continued. "What do I have to do, knock one of those orange barrels over?
Huh? Will that prove to you that I care?"

Shit, you think I was gonna speak. I wasn't stupid. I made bad choices
sometimes, but I wasn't stupid.

"Pull me closer to that barrel." She ordered. I didn't respond and she repeated
louder. "Pull closer to that barrel." She tugged on the steering wheel slightly.

I gave in and pulled closer to the barrel, slowing down as the jeep neared it.
She gave me one of those cocky grins as she pulled her arm back to knock the
barrel over.

She leaned out of the jeep and struck the barrel.

As she made contact, I noticed a huge flaw in her plan. The barrel didn't move
but she sure did. She got pushed upwards and back, almost into the back seat.
I stopped the jeep, jumped out and ran around to the passenger side, trying to
figure out what had happened. B was half lying, half sitting, legs everywhere,
holding her arm. I helped her back into her original seat, checking her for
broken bones.

I decided to give the barrel the once over. My eyes got kind of big when I saw
what the problem was but I didn't say anything.

I jumped back into the jeep, glanced at B, who was daring me to say one word. I
suppressed a laugh and drove for the hospital.

Damn, it was so hard not to laugh. If you could've seen B's ass thrown backwards
by that barrel, what the hell, I lost it.

I couldn't help it but my laughter only fueled her anger.

"Go on, laugh, it's real funny, Ha Ha!" She yelled.

I smiled big and that gave her the energy to continue. "What was in that
barrel?" She demanded.

I looked over at her, bit my bottom lip and held in my laughter as I said,
"cement, it was filled with cement."

"Fabulous!" She stated blankly.

I laughed as I pulled up to the emergency room. I pulled the jeep to a quick
halt and ran around to help B out.

Inside I decided to let B tell the doctors what had happened. I made the calls
to the gang.

I waited to see what the doctor had to say, seems b had fractured her arm, too
bad, she had some good moves with that arm.

The doc bandaged her arm up; well, he put it in a sling, said she'd have to keep
it restricted for a few weeks but with slayer healing it'd most likely take a
few days.

She was free to go. We walked through the double doors and there was Angel.

"Shit!" It's been all night and I haven't got one bit of information on anything
he sent me after, not good if I want to keep a job. He just gave me that
brooding look, the one that says; you're not living up to your expectations.

"You ok?" He asked.

We both shook our heads in unison.

"What happened?" He asked.

We just looked at each other, silently agreeing to keep quiet, which we did.

He just looked us over.

"We're ready to go." I said. He nodded and we made out way out to the cars.

"Where to?" He asked.

I thought for a second, "back to your place." I said questioningly.

He nodded approval and we were again off. Daylight was coming so I knew it'd be
a quick trip. We made it and got inside just as the sun was coming up over the

I tucked B into bed. We'd talk about what happened later, I'm sure. She loved to
talk everything to death.

I was making my way to the exit, hoping that I didn't get caught.


Damn, I slumped, caught. I turned around to see my benefactor.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked.

"Sure." I replied.

I walked into his office, shut the door and sat down.

He paced a couple of times, looked at me, paced some more, took in a deep breath
and started. "It's been a long night. I sent you on several jobs and you ended
up in the hospital with Buffy. I'm not accusing or questioning you about
anything. I'm just wondering did you find anything or get any information?"

Hell, I needed to say something, didn't have a clue as to what, so I rambled. "I
still don't understand about what happened at the cemetery with that, whatever
it was. The crate at the warehouse, well I didn't see or find anything in it. B,
just showed up and......." He cut me off saying, " so basically you've spend
about twelve hours and you didn't get anything?"

I sighed, looked up at him saying, "well, I got the finger, a lot."

He sat silently, just looking at me then said, "yeah I know, vampire senses and

Well damn! My mouth actually hit the floor as red took over my facial features.
I looked at him and burst out laughing. Finally, I stopped laughing long enough
to ask through a huge ass smile, "What's the next assignment?"