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Love isn't Logical and neither is Jim Kirk

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2 years 6 months and 8 hours earlier

Spock rushed his mother and the elders out of the cave with haste. The planet was collapsing. When he got outside the cave, the illogical Cadet Kirk waited


“Beam us up” Jim shouted into the communicator and the ground rumbled beneath them. The tell-tale signs of the transported beam, surrounded them and the cliff was falling, his mother was on the edge. As Spock realized what was happening, Kirk had grabbed his mother and grabbed hold of Spock’s shirt.


They landed safety on the Enterprise. Amanda Grayson was shell-shocked and her fingers were clutching at Jim’s arm before she let go quickly.


“Thank you” Ananda whispered to Jim before she was pulled into an embrace by her son. Her voice soothing even in Vulcan as she rubbed his back and took hold of Sareks hand. Jim sat there if only for a moment, he was wrong about the Vulcan.

1 Year 4 months and 8 Hours earlier

“I’m scared Spock” Jim rasped, staring at his first officer through the glass of the containment chamber but he was not just his first officer. He was so much more to Jim, he loved him, in every sense of the word. James T. Kirk was in love and he was dying. Jim could feel death kissing his aching muscles and the cold dread that accompanied it. He has almost died countless time but this time is different. There is no one that could save him now. There isn’t any possibilities to come out of this alright. He survived Frank, he survived Tarsus IV, he survived telepathic attacks, he survived torture and yet he was glad this was how he would die. He would die saving the people he held most dear. “Help me not be.” Jim could feel his tears slipping down his cheek as he drew in a painful breath “How do you choose not to feel?”


“I do not know” Spock replied the emotion in his voice was evident, far more evident then Jim had ever heard. Not since Vulcan’s destruction. “Right now, I’m failing” Those beautiful brown eyes stared heartbroken back into Jim’s blue was. They were not the blue Spock knew, he had seen Jim’s eyes be different shades of blue based on his emotions but never had he seen this one. This one was glassy with tears and fear, it was bright compared to the bloodshot eyes but unnaturally so.


“I want you to know why I couldn’t let you die” Jim panted, he needed to tell Spock how he felt, it was selfish but he had to. He couldn’t let the Vulcan go another day without telling him he was loved. “Why I went back for you”


“Because you are my friend” Spock finished for him, a tear sliding down his cheek and it broke Jim’s heart. He could feel himself sleeping away, so he reached for Spock, placing his hand on the glass and Spock mirrored his.


“You are my friend” Jim whispered as he smiled softly at the Vulcan “and it’s because I love you. I’m in love with you” Spock’s eyes widened and more tears slipped down his cheek in his shock. Jim smiled softly before pain twisted his features and he coughed, blood on his tongue before the tentacles of death took him.


8 Hours earlier

Jim signed the pad Yeoman Janice gave him with a sigh. They had been star charting for days and the bridge was dead with boredom or Jim was dying of boredom “Thank you Yeoman” Jim handed the pad back to her, she smiled and turned to leave. Jim smiled internally as an idea came to his mind to lighten the mood “wait I have a question for you”


“Yes, Captain?” Janice responded, turning her attention to the captain


“What kind of deal with the devil did you make for your hair to stay upright?” Jim inquired with a complete straight face and Janice let out a laugh. The other members on the bridge broke into a smile at the ridiculous question, that got the bridge talking a bit more and frankly, Jim really did prefer listening to Chekhov claims of Russia than the bored silence beforehand because bored silence meant thinking about growing old and having kids with Spock. Which really? Why couldn’t Jim daydream about riding his dick, which he did, but more frequently he day dreamed about getting married or breakfast in bed. Love sucked sometimes.


“Captain we are being hailed” Uhura called her eyes moving from her station to Jim “It is a distress signal. A science vessel is under attack by pirates”


“Plot of course Mr. Chekov” Jim ordered, going into full captain mode “Warp 8 on my signal”


“Aye Keptain” Chekov responded


“Ready, Captain” Sulu said waiting for the order


“Punch it” Jim responded and soon they were zooming across the stars towards the signal.




“Arrival in 3 2 1” Sulu counted down, the ship stopped. The pirate ship was nowhere in sight but evidently had been going off the damage to the science vessel


“Mr. Spock report”


“It is a science vessel from Delta VIII, although records report they should be in Alpha quadrant. The vessel has undergone 67.7% damage. They can be fully functional in 2.34 earth days.”


“Lieutenant, hailing frequencies” Jim felt uneasy about this like something wasn’t quite right with this. Why would the science vessel reported to be in Alpha quadrant be in Delta?


“Hailing frequencies open, sir” Uhura responded


“This is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. We received your distress signal and have come to offer you aid.” Jim broadcasted and a second later an Andorian woman appeared on screen, her white hair tied up in a tight knot between her antennas. She looked anywhere between thirty to forty years old with a strong jaw and a stern gaze.


“Captain Kirk. I’m CaptainTalla th'Zarath. we were ambushed by those pirates but they seemed to have fled upon your arrival. We appreciate the aid” Talla th'Zarath said


“All we did was scare them off. What are you guys doing in Delta? According to my First, you are recorded to be in Alpha” Jim asked his smile that he saved for diplomats, The antenna of the Captain twitched before she smiled and shook her head.


“We traced a mineral back to this solar system. The Xeres Solar System held this mineral but it wasn’t its place of origin.” Talla th'Zarath responded “The mineral, which has yet to be named, is capable of rendering anyone who encounters It unconscious.”


“Well you and your crew are welcome to any repairs or medical supplies that the Enterprise has to offer, Captain” Jim replied with a sincere smile


“Our vessel does not have a fully stocked medical bay, we were on our way to Star Base 2 when we pursued the minerals trail. Four members of my crew are injured but not fatally” Talla th'Zarath  “Among the injured is our doctor. I would appreciate the aid”


“I’ll have the patients beamed into our sickbay and healed up in no time. Meanwhile, I’ll have my engineers working on the repairs” Jim offered, his smile holding in place even though he felt off. She looked off somehow. It was her eyes that told a different story than her mouth did.


“That is suitable. Thank you, Captain Kirk. We will await your signal” Talla th'Zarath said before the view screen went back to that of the nearly destroyed vessel. Kirk rattled orders to medical and engineering before moving over to Spock’s science station and leaning against it.


“Did something seem off or was it just me?” Jim asked, his voice low so only Spock could hear it.


“What do you refer to as ‘off’, sir?” Spock replied smoothly


“You know what I mean.Don’t even play that card, I’ve talked to your Mother” Jim huffed and Spock raised an eyebrow, looking alarmed, well for a Vulcan but Jim has gotten good at reading Spock.


“When did you converse with my Mother?” Spock asked, his voice was neutral as always


“She came and saw me in the hospital. She is kinda like my pen pal after the whole saving her from dying thing” Jim responded “By the way, why did you never tell me about I-Chaya? He sounded super awesome”


Spock just blinked at him and it reminded Jim of when a computer shorted out. It was adorable and it made Jim feel all warm inside.


“Come on Mr.Spock let’s go greet our guests” Jim nudged Spock’s shoulder and started walking towards the lift, knowing the Vulcan was following “Sulu you’ve got the conn”


“We are receiving visual” Uhura said


“On screen” Spock responded, a Xindi appeared on screen with a twisted smile and a dark look in his eye. Beside him was Jim gagged and strapped to a torture chair. Jim was struggling against the bindings and glaring fiercely at his captors.


The pirate smiled sickly at the camera that was broadcasting to the Enterprise, the bridge crew watched with wide eyes at the alien on screen.“Commander Spock, I am Captain Xonne, we have your captain. If we don’t have that mineral from that science vessel in thirty minutes then Captain Kirk isn’t going to enjoy his stay very much”


“You have abducted and assaulted a Starfleet Captain. According to feder-“ Spock was cut off by the sound of snapping bone followed by Jim’s shout of pain.


“Twenty minutes” Xonne smirked and cut off the connection. The bridge was silent for a second before the voices of the bridge crew all spoke at once. Spock was still staring at where the image had been and he took a second to calm the storm within him.


“Get me all the information on Xonne and his ship” Spock spoke evenly.


“Xonne is part of the Xindi species, they are composed of six subspecies-avian, arboreal, primate, reptilian, insect, and aquatic. They were at war with Earth, killing millions of humans. They are a warlike species and not friendly towards the Federation.” Uhura supplied “Xonne was cast out of his family after killing his brother and soon after joined the black market. He is guilty of theft, selling of illegal items, rape, and murder on his home world and 34 other planets.”


Sulu picked up after Uhura after finishing his scans “The ship we are seeing isn’t the one they are on. The ship is being remote controlled by another but the signal is too erratic to track. Wherever they have him, it has to be in this solar system at least”


“Lieutenant Uhura please inform Doctor McCoy and Commander Scott of the situation” Spock ordered and moved out of his chair to the science station to start running through the solar system, searching for signs of where they could be.



“Oh screen,” Uhura said as the video feed covered the viewer again.


“Time is up” Xonne stated, in his hand was a long knife, a glance at Jim showed that his nose had been broken but the gag was still in place “What is your conclusion?”


“The Federation does not negotiate with pirates or concede to the demands of a criminal” Spock responded coldly


“Then you will watch your Captain die” Xonne growled as he slid the knife over Jim’s muscular torso causing him to cry out and thick blood to seep from the open wound. “Order your crew to give me the mineral” Xonne growled at Jim as he snapped one of Jim’s fingers causing the man to cry out again.


“Go to hell” Jim hissed or tried to through the gag before crying out again as Xonne broke his wrist with a sickening crack. Jim groaned in pain but he was glad it was him and not his crew.


“Every spirit can be broken, not a matter of if but when” Xonne responded as he finished breaking the remainder of Jim’s fingers. “I’m going too easy on you, aren’t I?” Xonne pressed a call button “Xinella ”


“Lieutenant” Spock started as he watched the woman enter the room. Xinella walked over to Jim and then looked at the screen with a smirk.


“Xinella is a Viellex, Viellex are well known for their telepathic ability and were denied entry into the federation because of their deceptive and violent lifestyle. Xinella is wanted for murder, theft, assault. After the death of her wife and children by a government accident, she went psychotic and joined up with Xenno. She is known to torture her victims to death in front of their loved ones and leaving them alive”  Uhura reported, her voice wavering at the end.


“They are watching” Xonne murmured to her “They have the Deverk mineral we need”


“He will talk” Xinella responded as she took a knife from her thigh holster and started to cut into Jim’s skin. She cut deep enough to draw blood but not enough to kill him. Jim was screaming, the bridge just watched the scene before them, all of them helpless to stop their captain from being brutally torn into.


Spock’s hands gripped the armrest so tight the metal groaned under the stress, every part of him was screaming to kill those who would dare touch Jim. Jim who already died once for his crew and constantly threw himself in the fire for them. Jim who had smiled softly over the chess board, talking softly about his favorite literature or whatever the topic may be. Spock didn’t know if he could lose Jim again, when he watched the light leave those blue eyes and the rage consumed him. His Vulcan blood demanded he take revenge upon those who laid their hands on his… friend. But Jim was so much more than that. He was… he was T’hy’la. Spock had tried to fight his affections for so long but he could no longer deny them.


After Jim died in the warp core and confessed his love to Spock. Spock had broken it off with Uhura and went about ignoring his own feelings. Not once did he bring up what Jim said while he laid dying. Spock didn’t want to remember those frightened blue eyes and the rasped words. Spock was afraid, illogical, to give into what he felt for him.


Jim had attempted to bring it up but Spock often changed the subject, he was illogically a coward.


If Jim were to die without knowing… no, he would not allow Jim to die again. He would not allow it. The captain screams filled the bridge and his blood boiled with rage.


“Lieutenant any word from Starfleet?” Spock growled and stood hastily from the Captain's chair. His action was illogical but he couldn’t help it. He needed his Captain, his T’hy’la back.


“None yet, sir” Nyota responded. She was doing remarkably well keeping a straight face as the Captains screams continued on.


“Call Dr. McCoy and Commander Scott to the bridge” Spock turned to Chekov “Search all planets for signs of the ship”


“Aye, sir” Chekov responded and went to work at the science station. Bones and Scotty got to the Bridge a second later.


“Jim! Spock, what the hell is going on?” McCoy demanded as he took in the screen and Scotty gasped in horror at the sight. Anger and grief were burning in both of their eyes as they watched.


“They are attempting to pressure us into giving in by torturing the Captain in front of us” Spock replied curtly and McCoy's eyes widened.


“My god” McCoy breathed as he watched them snap another of Jim’s ribs.


“Dr. McCoy it is prudent for you to asses the captain's injuries instead of just watching” Spock replied


“I cannae keep listenin, Commander,” Scotty said as he watched “Turn it off, lassie”


Uhura shook her head “No. He is there because of us. Because he would die for us. He is our captain and we will suffer with him. I don’t want him to suffer alone” The bridge was silent except for the sound of their captain's pain and they all started working silently again.


McCoy, Spock and most of the crew could do nothing but watch. They were scanning everything but there is only so much you can do. As illogical as it was, Spock hated Xenno and Xinella, he wanted to tear them apart, he wanted to beat them as he beat Khan.


Jim was not doing well. His entire body felt like it was burning and the cuts wouldn’t stop but it wasn’t the worst thing he had gone through. The worst was Tarsus IV. Nothing could top that or he hoped that was the worst thing. Xinella kept cutting into him and snapping bones and Jim didn’t know how long he could take it before he passed out. His voice was raw from his screams and all he wanted to do was go back to the Enterprise and play chess with Spock. Spock was an amazing distraction. He was everything to him, well not everything but nearly everything. Jim loved Spock since Nero really, it was just like the dumb movies when you see someone and you know they are like your soulmate. Yeah, that was it. Spock just fit with him.


Xinella cracked yet another rip and something like fire zipped through him causing him to scream loudly. “No no no. You don’t get to die yet. I haven’t gotten into your head” his torturer purred


Jim panted around the gag in his mouth and glared at the woman with a burning hate “Fuck you”


“Are you ready to give up the mineral?” Xenno asked the crew whose eyes were all trained on the screen


“No. We will not” Spock’s response, his voice was tight and Jim could tell he was pissed.


“I will give you one more time to tell your crew to hand it over” Xenno threatened as he took out the gag in his mouth.


“Spock,” Jim said but it came out as a whimper and Spock’s sharp gaze met his and Jim whimpered out in Vulcan “no engines. Cold”


Jim had been learning Vulcan for Spock ever since Nero. He wanted him to be able to speak it with someone else besides Uhura on the ship and it might have come in handy. That’s why he was chatting with Amanda, she was teaching him Vulcan, well her and Uhura were.


Spock's eyes widen slightly. Jim wasn’t on a ship meaning he was planetside. There were only two planets in the solar system class M.


“Shut up” Xinella growled and smacked him in the face “what did you say?” The woman grabbed his face and squeezed his jaw. Jim looked at her spitefully and spit in her face. The look on her face was worth the pain shooting through his body.


Xinella was using her telepathic abilities to trigger his pain nerves and Jim was screaming again


“Plot course for Vega 6” Spock ordered, it was the only class M planet in an ice age. Of course, Jim could be incoherent but it was his only chance.  


The Enterprise zoomed towards its destination, arriving at Vega 6 in no time. “Scan the surface for any shelters or underground bunkers” Spock ordered, he was on his feet staring at his captain withering in pain


“Eight life forms below” Ensign Vo reported “It is an underground facility, once used by the natives before the Ice Age killed them”


“Dr. McCoy, Commander Scott follow me to the transporter room and await the captain's arrival. Have a security team join you. We are beaming them aboard. Sulu you have the Conn”  Spock barely gave a glance to the two senior officers as they rushed into the lift, his eyes were trained on his captain.


“Ready, Mr. Spock” Scotty called over the line


“Energize” Spock responded, his body tense and ready to attack the things keeping him from his T’hy’la


All Jim could feel was that his body was burning from the inside out. Everything hurt and he was fighting a losing battle. One thing he knew he was withering under the pain and the next was the phaser fire mixed with shouts.  

Then there was Spock looming over him and Bones barking orders as he was lifted from the ground on to a stretcher. Jim groaned in pain as he was moved and soon the drug took effect making him pass out.