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The Ol' Switcheroo

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“Don’t worry Iruka-sensei, we totally have you covered,” Sakura said with a smile from her place opposite of him at her desk. “These things happen all of the time. Suppressants are only good for so long after all and then you just need a break. Ebisu is on call and completely qualified to cover your classes for a few days.”

“Ebisu is an insufferable ass,” Iruka grumbled, running his wrist across his forehead and tugging at his shirt uncomfortably. Of course in the midst of PHS (pre-heat syndrome) everyone was a utter moron to Iruka and he was having a very difficult time not punching anyone in the throat for infractions as minor as breathing near him. And the hot flashes!

“Well yes, but he knows his shi...stuff,” Sakura caught herself, chuckling nervously. “And you covered for his week off three weeks ago, so he’s your best bet anyway. You go home, relax and take care of yourself as best you can, and we’ll see you back in a week for a post heat check up, alright? And don’t forget your relief scroll,” she said handing over the lurid pink roll of paper with a grin. “Just put your hand on the seal and we’ll be notified that we need to send a relief Alpha right away.”

“Do I even want to know who’s on call?” he asked with a wince. He’d gotten Izumo last time and the normally genial Kotetsu had glared at Iruka for two months straight until the omega man had gone into heat himself while on guard duty and the pair ended up bonding finally. Fortunately not right there in the gatehouse, but from what Iruka had heard it had been a near thing.

Sakura opened her notebook and winced, looking up at him apologetically, “Eeehhh, probably not...but...let’s see. Three of them are for the teen omega cases, so you don’t have to worry about that, but the others are oookaaay. I mean they’re all nice, just sort of weird, like most Jounin tend to be. It might be better if you’re too feverish to give a fu...crap...hoot. Sorry I’ve been spending a lot of time with Lady Tsunade,” she said with a flush.

“Like Gai weird or Sai weird?” he asked hesitantly, waving off her apologies. She should hear some of his students when they thought he couldn’t hear them. All little sailors, the lot of them.

“Um, somewhere between that mostly? Though uh Gai is actually one of them? And Sai is an omega soooo, yay!” she said with an awkward chuckle. “And let me tell you that is just so weird to see, Sai in heat I mean. Ino gets him usually though, so I guess she can handle whatever he dishes out.”

“The others?” he asked wincing and prodding her along, thinking of the chaffing Gai was likely to leave behind. The man had way too much energy. And the talking...god the talking alone would do him in. Gai was one of the nicest people in the village but could also be annoying as fuck when Iruka had had a bad day. And heat was always a bad day as far as he was concerned.

“Well, um Yamato. He’s totally nice but kind of awkward and occasionally wooden items sprout when he uh…” she trailed off, blushing and waving her hand vaguely.

“Sprouts wood?” Iruka finished with a chuckle, immediately interested in the conversation. He hadn’t heard about this little tidbit. It was going to be so hard accepting reports from the man without giggling now.

“Yes,” she said biting her lip. “Or rather gets knots in his wood,” she said sending them into fits of highly inappropriate laughter. “On the upside omegas say he’s very kind and knows what he’s doing so…” she shrugged with a smile.

“So I could get a fantastic orgasm and a new chest of drawers, nice,” he chuckled, wiping his brow again. “Okay, okay who’s the last?”

“, but he’s out on a mission again. He does that a lot when he’s on rotation. He might be back in time but he should have a sub...let’s see,” she said running her finger down the list and then brightened and smiled. “Looks like Genma is his backup right now, so I that’s okay. Genma is nice,” she said with a shrug. “I haven’t heard about anything weird. The omegas he gets all say he does a great job and takes care of them really well. I still fall into the teen category, since I’m only nineteen, so I haven’t utilized his services yet. I get Alphas like Choiji and Kiba who are both pretty fun. Naruto once too and that was really really....”

“Weird and gross? Please never ever send him to me when he ages up into the adult group, ever,” Iruka pleaded. Naruto was like his little brother, even if he had grown up into a handsome young man. Iruka wasn’t blind, but he certainly wasn’t interested either.

“He prefers females usually, but if he didn’t you’d be missing out,” she sang. “He’s nice, in great shape, adorably enthusiastic, and has a really really big kn....”

“No,” he said cutting her off and making her grin mischievously. Cheeky little chit. She really had been hanging out with Tsunade-sama too much. “Okay, let’s plan on Team Kakashi-Genma, with Yamato as my second choice and a request for a new bookshelf.”

“Alright,” she nodded putting a note in her book and snickering. She snapped it shut and smiled wide at him. “We’ll see you in a week. Good luck! Call on me or Shizune if you need anything besides an Alpha. Chafing, tears, strains, whatever. We’re on call this week.”

“Thanks Sakura-chan,” Iruka said waving as he made his way out the door and down the hallway of the hospital, waving to the occasional person he knew, but keeping his distance. He made a quick stop at the market and then hurried home after getting a glazed look from the stock boy. His heat must be really closing in if the kid barely out of primary was giving him looks. He shuddered and locked his door behind him.


“Ugh, this is stupid,” Iruka growled. “Why did I ever think this was a good idea? Going solo after two years on suppressants?” He was still in his boxers and a t-shirt, trying to sit and watch a movie to kill time, but frankly all he wanted to do was go shove his favorite dildo up his slit and jerk off until he was too chaffed to continue. Not that it helped, from past experience. It was just frustrating. Not touching himself was better than getting stuck in that death spiral of failure to climax properly.

He looked at the bright pink scroll and huffed. He’d bet that Tsunade-sama picked out that color just to piss people off. Reluctantly he broke the seal and slammed his hand down. “Fuck it,” he growled. Yeah he could swear too Sakura-chan, thank you very much!


Kakashi wandered down the hall to report to Tsunade, happy that his mission had been an easy one, but unhappy that he was back so soon. He was on heat rotation and hated it. It was so damned awkward. He’d done it twice with female omegas and it was just...he didn’t know. Physically he’d knotted them and even came but his heart just wasn’t in the job. Gai loved the rotation, volunteering to “spread his love and the joy of his mighty phallus to all” whenever they’d take him for rotation duty. Male, female, he loved it all. Fortunately for Gai, there were a lot of messed up Jounin Alphas like Kakashi that just didn’t want to deal with all of that hormonal shit, so he got listed pretty frequently. The perma-enthused shinobi should just hang up his kunai and open up a relief house.

“Kakashi,” Tsunade said with a small smile as he knocked on the open door. She looked tired and actually sober for once, so she must have something extra difficult to get through. Politics were of no interest to him and he honestly didn’t know how someone like Tsunade dealt with it without putting her fist through something. Another reason to keep dodging her push for him to take her place until Naruto was ready. “How did it go?”

“Easy in and out. I got your information without anyone spotting me,” he said setting down a black lined scroll.

“Excellent,” she said with a nod. “And your reward, the medical jutsu scroll I promised. Don’t you dare tell anyone where you got it from,” she warned him, scowling. “And I don’t even want to know what you plan to do with it.”

“Honestly Pakkun’s bitch is just having trouble nursing her latest batch,” Kakashi said rubbing his head as he took the scroll. “Thought it might help her,” he admitted with a shrug.

“In that case go see Hana Inuzuka to adapt it for a dog and go see the seals specialist listed on the scroll. He’s just the man to help you figure out how to use that,” Tsunade said with a chuckle. “You are a strange man, but a good one,” she said. “Report for another mission tomorrow. Dismissed.”

Kakashi bumped into Genma on the way down the stairs, his grey head already buried in his latest novel. They both apologized and picked up their dropped scrolls. “Where you off to Hatake?” Genma asked, rolling his ever present senbon across his mouth.

“Home and then the Inuzuka pet clinic. I have some work to do with my dogs. You?” Kakashi asked tucking his scroll away.

“Heat duty, thanks to you being on a mission this week. I’m your backup,” Genma said with a smirk. “Sakura just handed me the scroll and I’m keeping it. You missed your chance. I just needed to clear my schedule with Lady Tsunade first.”

“Oh who’s the lucky lady?” Kakashi asked. Genma clearly loved the rotation too.

“Don’t know,” Genma said with a shrug. “I didn’t look yet, but I’m not picky. I like everything.”

“Well, enjoy, I guess,” Kakashi said with a wave, heading down the stairs. “Better you than me!”

“You need to live a little old man!” his friend called back with a laugh.

As he walked down the road he pulled out his scroll again and unrolled it. “Umino Iruka? Hmm,” Kakashi said unrolling the scroll further to see it was empty. “Well he’s good at traps and seals alright, so maybe I need him to unseal this. I don’t get why a lactation jutsu is so damned secretive. It’s not like it’s dangerous.” Kakashi looked at the street name at the corner and realised he was pretty close to where the chuunin lived. He’d been there twice with Naruto and Sakura. Might as well head there now.


Genma looked at his scroll in horror while Lady Tsunade and Shizune were laughing so hard their eyes were watering. “Why the fuck would Hatake need to increase his milk production?”

“Sakura!” Shinzune called down the hall, laughing and clutching her side. “Sakura you have to hear this!”


Kakashi knocked on the door of Iruka-sensei’s house. It was a small place with a tiny vegetable garden and not much else, but nice. Kakashi could appreciate having something like this for himself even. He wasn’t home much, but he wouldn’t mind a garden. Have some fresh vegetables, carrots, cabbage, of course eggplant. Maybe get a few genin to tend it when he was gone...or home actually. He didn’t really dig the whole weed pulling thing.

He frowned when he realised he’d been looking around planning his future garden and there was still no answer. Maybe Iruka-sensei was still at the school? No he could feel the man’s chakra present. He knocked again and this time heard a thump and a creative curse that made his eyebrows go up. He taught kids with that mouth?

The lock clicked and the door opened. He opened his mouth to greet the younger man, but was instead pulled bodily inside where the door was promptly locked and sealed. “Um,” Kakashi said taking in the appearance of the normally buttoned up, prim school teacher. Only a towel clothed him now, as he’d clearly been in the shower from the water dripping down his chest. A very small towel.

“I’m sorry for intruding Iruka-sensei. Tsunade-sama sent me over…” Kakashi began hesitantly, confused by the scary look the man was giving him. He was so bad at reading most people. It’s why he generally avoided them. While he’d never regret becoming a shinobi at such a young age, he did sometimes mourn the loss of his social education. On the bright side he wasn’t as bad as Sai at it, or even Tenzou.

“Yes, yes, I know why you’re here,” Iruka said impatiently, waving him further into the small, but cozy looking home. “I already got the rundown earlier from Sakura-chan. Let’s just do this and we can both get on with our lives, shall we?”

“Do we need to prep anything, make space or something?” Kakashi asked nervously. Iruka-sensei was normally pretty chill, if a little naggy about porn in public, but he looked pissed off today. Maybe Kakashi should have waited until this evening. Probably a bad day handling pre-genin, and then Kakashi interrupted his shower. “I haven’t really done a lot of this kind of thing. It’s not my area of specialty after all. And is the towel really necessary? It’s kind of throwing me off, to be honest.”

“I’m plenty prepped, and you’re right. Sorry. I was just showering so I didn’t smell like a locker room and a whore house had a love child,” Iruka huffed pulling the towel off and tossing it carelessly over the hamper, leaving him very bare and not shiny, slicked with...fuck his thighs were slicked with....

And finally Kakashi’s brain and nose caught up with each other as that glorious tanned behind was revealed to him and the dewed thighs just below. Fuuuuck. This was Genma’s heat assignment! Fucking fuck!

“Did...uh...did they say who would be your relief by chance?” Kakashi stuttered nervously as he followed Iruka down the short hall to a nice little bedroom with a wide bed and a dresser tucked inside.

“Well I know that you, Yamato and Gai were on the rotation, with Genma as backup for you. Guess you got back in town though and Sakura already knows my opinion on Gai’s stamina and general personality, and well Yamato and the wood thing,” he said with a shrug, flopping back on the bed with a sigh.

Kakashi had no idea what “the wood thing” was and decided not to ask. Well not right now at least. He wasn’t above getting dirt on his little kouhai to torment him with later.

“I was trying to do this alone, but it sucks, so…and why are you still in full gear and I’m naked?” the dark haired omega huffed, continuing to talk while Kakashi stood there staring. “Not that it isn’t a little kinky, with you in full body armor, but let’s get going here Kakashi-san. We’ll explore the kinky shit later.”

Kakashi knew he should tell the teacher what had happened and he wanted to, but at the same time the omega spread out on the bed had miles of tan skin and muscle that was making it very hard to think. Iruka noticed his glazed look and grinned, placing his arms up above his head and then bending and spreading his knees, putting himself on display for the stunned looking Copy-nin.

“I uh…” Kakashi rasped and then started tearing at clothing as fast as he could. Weapons fell, scrolls rolled away, and he’s pretty sure he tore his mask, but really couldn’t give a fuck at the moment. “I haven’t done this yet...with a male omega I mean...but kami your pretty.”

“Eager,” Iruka said with a blush. “That’s flattering. And don’t worry, it’s not so different aside from the cock and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t squash my balls between us. In fact, I think I’d better turn over until you get the hang of it,” Iruka said rolling over and unashamedly presenting his muscled hind quarters and the the dripping vaginal slit between his thighs. Kakashi just wanted to press his face in and live there.

Kakashi swore his knot was starting to swell and wouldn’t that be embarrassing to pop his knot outside the omega before he got anything else inside? He reached down and squeezed himself hard in response.

Iruka could see the poor Alpha was struggling and wiggled his hips. “Come on. First time I don’t expect a thing. Just get the first knotting out of the way and then you’ll do fine.”

Kakashi practically stumbled to the bed in very uncharacteristic clumsiness and knelt behind the normally shy school teacher. He wasn’t shy at all right now. He grabbed the man’s hips, carefully smoothing his shaking hands over his skin in apology as the omega hissed at the rough grip. “Sorry. Like I said, I don’t do this often.”

“How many omegas have you serviced?” Iruka asked curiously dropping to his elbows to tilt his slit into a better position for the Alpha.

“Two females,” Kakashi said tracing his thumb over the weeping slit and finding it plenty slick. He desperately wanted to taste the man there, but was pretty sure he’d end up knotting against the sheets if he did that at the moment.

“That’s it?” Iruka asked in surprise, looking back over his shoulder. “How are you on heat rotation and only have two?”

“I take missions to get out of it. I don’t like heat rotation, usually,” Kakashi murmured.

“Usually?” Iruka asked with a small smile.

“I’m beginning to think that I have a type and it’s probably not female omegas. I could perform, but it just wasn’t that amazing. But with you, I’m a stiff breeze away from coming already,” Kakashi said gripping his thick cock and guiding it into the slightly younger man with a groan.

“Definitely flattered,” Iruka moaned happily as he was finally, finally filled like he needed. “So why’d you take the rotation assignment, if you don’t usually like it?”

“Didn’t. I mixed up scrolls with Genma. He likely has my scroll on lactation that I was going to adapt for Pakkun’s mate,” Kakashi said roughly as he bottomed out. It was all he could do not to come with that white hot liquid heat surrounding and squeezing him in an intimate hug.

Iruka chuckled, surprising Kakashi. Iruka didn’t ever laugh around him. He frowned a lot and scolded and sighed in exasperation. It sounded nice. “That probably wasn’t quite the milking he was hoping for. So why’d you go along with it once you were here and figured out you had the wrong scroll?”

Kakashi began to flex his hips slowly. “Well you are an attractive man and pretty bossy about getting what you want, so it seemed better to just listen to what you told me to do.”

“Mm, you are a genius,” Iruka chuckled, his fingers clenching in the bedding. “And really thick, shit,” he added with a groan.

“Am I hurting you?” Kakashi asked pausing and rubbing down the omega’s sides soothingly.

“Gods no,” Iruka moaned. “If the other omega only knew, you’d be in high demand.”

“Like Gai?” Kakashi said with a chuckle, rolling his hips in long slow strokes. “No thanks.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Iruka said panting slightly. “I’ve been suppressed for two years and didn’t use him prior. Sounds like I’d have cock burns from hell honestly,” Iruka snorted and then groaned again as Kakashi glided deep and the beginnings of his knot rubbed and caught against the opening of his vaginal slit. “Fuck you’re perfect though,” he moaned.

“You’re not going to say that in a moment. I can’t hold back much longer,” Kakashi gritted out. “It’s been way too long and you feel amazing around me.”

“It’s fine. I need it. I’ve been waiting since yesterday afternoon for this. You can impress me later,” Iruka said, panting into the bedding and spreading is knees further, opening himself as much as he could. “Plus, I haven’t been knotted in over two years, so pleeease knot me.”

Kakashi didn’t argue and set his strokes at a quick, hard pace that had Iruka grunting and whining, his own orgasm ramping up in less than a minute. Kakashi grit his teeth, and shifted to a hard, short roll as his knot began to pop in and out more that was probably comfortable, keeping himself inside the groaning omega almost completely. He reached around and jerked the man’s cock confidently as his own orgasm began to crest.

Iruka shouted in relief as his orgasm soared through him, making him clamp down around Kakashi, who groaned through his teeth and exploded inside the omega, his knot fully engorged in seconds as the knotting muscles in Iruka’s channel tightened painfully. “Oh fuck,” he gritted out, his orgasm seemingly poured from him in endless waves. After what felt like an hour, but was really only seconds, he whined and relaxed slowly against the omega male, panting as he was continuously squeezed and milked. A second smaller wave hit him, making him moan against the smooth neck under his lips.

“You okay?” Iruka asked panting.

“I think I’m going to die,” Kakashi said with a small chuckle, then groaned and humped his hips forward a few times as another wave pushed through. “It’s never been like this and we’ve barely started. It’s intense.” Iruka gasped at the pull of the knot inside him and pushed back with each roll, and chuckled back. “How many days did they say this would go for?” Kakashi asked, carefully rolling them to the side and nearly setting himself off again in the process. “I haven’t been with an omega coming off long term suppressants.”

“Three or four days probably, but only about two days of solid discomfort. I have a week off regardless,” Iruka said smiling softly as Kakashi held him close to his chest. “You know, you’ve surprised me a bit.”

“Mm?” Kakashi hummed in question.

“Usually it feels like you’re messing with me, trying to irritate me,” Iruka said with a little shrug.

“Because I am,” Kakashi said with a chuckle.

“What, really?” Iruka asked looking over his shoulder in shock and yanking on the overstimulated Alpha behind him. He waited as Kakashi shuddered through another mini orgasm and then pressed. “Why?”

“Because you are adorable when you get all flushed and grumpy,” Kakashi admitted, trying to catching his breath and grinning. “I like it. I like you to be honest. You’re kind to the kids in the village and just a decent person. Cute too. It makes me happy to see you at the mission table after I’ve had a shit mission or even a good one.”

“Oh,” Iruka said softly, blushing slightly.

“I think I like this blush more,” Kakashi said with a smile, that Iruka registered he could actually see. It was a nice smile too, on a very handsome face.

“You’re letting me see your face,” Iruka gasped.

“Well you let me see all of your business, so it seemed fair,” Kakashi huffed, grinning, his eye curving in the familiar way.

“What do I have to do to kiss it?” Iruka asked curiously, eyebrows going up.

“Mm let me kiss your interesting places,” Kakashi teased lecherously.

“Before or after I kiss you?” Iruka asked with a laugh.

“Yes,” Kakashi said decisively.


Kakashi sauntered into Lady Tsunade’s office five days later, hands in his pockets and eye squinted in another smile. “Yo. Genma said I had to get my scroll from you again.”

“Enjoy your impromptu mission?” Tsunade asked with a smirk.

“It was very successful, so yes,” Kakashi said simply. Iruka had still been lounging on the bed when Kakashi had finally dragged himself to the shower and then into his uniform. The dark haired man had watched him with a satisfied smirk and grinned easily when he’d waved goodbye to the man before heading in to report.

“This mean you’re not going to run off every time you’re on rotation?” she asked handing over his original scroll.

“I’ll only do male rotations,” he said seriously, “And preferably only for cute school teachers with nose scars.”

“Fair enough. I’ll have Sakura log it in the rotation,” she said with a smirk. “Same time in three months then?” she asked, laughing a little when he just saluted her with the scroll and then tucked it carefully into his vest.

Once he’d gotten it safely home, he unrolled it and laughed out loud when he saw the name of the suggested seals master. Umino Iruka. “Wily bitch,” he huffed in amusement.