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 "I don't want to fight with you." He storms out of the house, a loud slam follows after. Donghae buries his head in his hands, wondering where it goes wrong.

Why is this happening again? Why is he not telling him anything? Why is he hiding things from him? Have they not promised each other that there'll be no secrets between them? That they'll go through thick and thin together? That they'll give each other everything they have?

16 years, Lee Hyukjae. The first time you walked out on me was 13 years ago. And you told me that was the last time you would walk out on me.

It's not fair. It's really not fair.

Donghae wipes his tears away with the back of his hands. He knows it's not easy. Both of them do. They are so different and they cope with emotions differently; Donghae being honest and outspoken with his feelings while Eunhyuk chooses to withdraw from the world and hide himself away. But every time when he looks into his eyes, he would rather go against the world than stopping himself from loving Hyukjae.

He glances at his phone. It's 2 a.m, the digital numbers in starking black font against his lockscreen picture of him and Hyukjae taken during New Year. It feels like his lockscreen is mocking him that he and Hyukjae are still fighting like children despite being together for more than ten years.

He takes his phone and walks into the room, flopping onto the queen sized bed as he wills himself to fall asleep. He knows it wouldn't work. But he doesn't want to think about the fight or Hyukjae anymore.

 

*

 

Perhaps the fight and three straight days of working late had taken a toll on him but he finds himself stirring awake from sleep when he hears someone opens the room's door. He doesn't wake up. Lying still in his position, he shuts his eyes.

The bed dips as Hyukjae climbs onto the bed, their backs in close contact with each other as they sleep facing opposite directions.

Amidst the deafening silence, Donghae hears cars driving past on the main road near their apartment. It doesn't bother Donghae much but today he finds them rather annoying.

A warm hand then wraps around Donghae's waist. He tries not to sniff.

"I'm sorry."

"You promised you won't walk out on me."

 "I know."

"And you promised you won't shut me out anymore." "I'm sorry." Donghae turns around. Under the faint city lights coming from the window, Hyukjae's gaze is heavy with exhaustion.

"What is it?"

"I'm scared.

"What are you scared of?"

"That we'll not last."

"Lee Hyukjae, we've been together for 16 years. We even survived military services! What makes you think we won't be together forever?"

"Donghae-ya,"

"Hyukjae, I love you. Throughout these sixteen years, it had always been you and it'll always be you."

"I know." Hyukjae's voice breaks. "It's just my insecurity acting up and I don't want to burden you with something this stupid."

"Don't say that." Donghae presses his lips on Hyukjae's, his olfactory catches the citrus scent of his lip balm.

"Don't ever say that. I don't want you to think of yourself that way. You are not a burden. Whatever it is, tell me. Tell me all about it. Tell me everything. I want to know, because it's you and I care about you more than anything in this world."

Hyukjae's lips curled into a small smile.

"Okay." Hyukjae kisses him as if it's their last kiss. "I'm sorry, Donghae-ya."

"And I love you." Donghae tucks him under his chin and smiles when the other's arms are wrapped around his waist.