Miyavi sat in the meeting bored. They were discussing his upcoming tour and he knew he should be excited, he was excited but that didn’t mean he was going to find lighting arrangements interesting. Who cared what shade of blue he meant, when he had requested blue lights? Why did there have to be different shades of blue anyway? It was stupid. Sure, people like Gackt and Yoshiki cared about the trivial details but Miyavi himself did not.
Once Yoshiki’s name was brought up in his mind, he could think of nothing else. He would miss his lover so much while they were apart but it was unavoidable. Miyavi could only pray Yoshiki didn’t find somebody else during his absence. The drummer had assured him countless times that he had eyes for nobody else, but Miyavi couldn’t help but feel Yoshiki deserved somebody better. More mature, smarter, prettier, less excitable. Most of all, didn’t Yoshiki get sick of being teased about his ‘toy boy’. Why had Yoshiki fallen for him anyway, Miyavi wondered, for what felt like the millionth time.
“I love your smile,” Said the memory of Yoshiki, answering that question. “I love how you are always yourself. I love how you can always see the good and your unyielding belief that anything bad is just a passing phase. I want no one else, only you can make me this happy”
Miyavi smiled at the memory and was jolted back to reality by the lighting technician asking him a question.
“Yeah that’s fine.” Miyavi replied, hoping that was the right answer. It seemed to be and talk turned to the positions of the cameras. Once again, his attention dwindled and he found himself writing in his notebook, pretending to pay attention.
I’m sitting in a meeting and I’m so bored. I know you say I should pay attention but I just can’t. Right now I want nothing more than to be with you. I want you to hold me. Kiss me. Love me. I want to feel you inside me. Hear you calling my name. I want….
My manager is shouting at me. He’s always shouting. It’s not fair. I don’t care about camera positions. Why does he have to be so mean? I only wanted to write you a letter to tell you these words; I love you.