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cause okay so, i was thinking about keiji running himself ragged, beating up some training dummy and at some point he feels something in his chest grate and his vision goes kind of grey at the edges and he has to just lean on the dummy and breathe for a solid minute so he doesn't pass out. and like, he's broken ribs before, he knows how they feel when they're healing and how they feel when they're... not, he knows this is bad. he knows he shouldn't even be here doing any kind of exercise but the buzzing restlessness at the base of his spine refuses to settle. the guilt, the fear, the fucking memory of a vampire's fangs sinking into tahir's neck that won't leave his mind, it's all driving him to move, to do something, something better than just lying there as someone else takes the hit for him
he snarls and drives his fist into the dummy hard enough that it jars his still-sore shoulder. his ribs spike with pain and he spits out a curse, his eyes screwed shut as he breathes through the pain. he doesn't look up as the door to the gym clicks open then closed. busted. 'you here to lecture me?' he asks with only a shade of his usual levity
'something like that,' says... ava? of all the people he'd thought might have come here to yell at him, he didn't think it'd be her
'didn't think you were the worrying type.' he slowly stretches from his slouch against the dummy, his breath hissing out through his teeth as his ribs twinge with every too-deep breath
she smiles, then, a sardonic little half-smile that carries no joy at all. 'i'm not.'
cause ava isn't the worrying type but she is the leader of unit bravo, and she didn't get to that position for no reason. she knows how to keep her people in line, keep them functional, knows how it looks when someone's falling apart. she also knows how to handle hotshot agents who think they're too good for the rules, even if this one is not quite an agent. she managed just fine with mason, after all
now nat, nat might have offered kindness. offered a friendly ear, offered comfort. ava knows better than that. ava cracks her knuckles and rolls her shoulders and moves to the centre of the gym, where mats have been laid down for sparring, and she raises an eyebrow. 'come on,' she says, and she watches as keiji goes from defensive to curious. wary, still, he's smart enough to know when he's being baited even if he doesn't act like it, but she knows his type
he doesn't disappoint. 'i feel like there's some kinda trap here'
'you wanted to spar. here's your chance'
he grins, then, though it's lined with pain and exhaustion. when he approaches her it's like one predator would another, circling, sizing each other up. she stays where she is, calm but ready. they both know he stands no chance against her, that he wouldn't even if he wasn't heavily injured, but this isn't about a fair fight
when he lunges it is impressively fast (for a human), but it makes little difference for how easily she deflects his punch and flips him over her hip and onto his back on the mat. she can hear the pained groan he tries to hide, and she has to admire his tenacity when he scrambles to his feet again only moments later
keiji.. really should've known better than to ever take this fight, but no one's ever been able to accuse him of making good decisions. and despite the fact that he is getting exactly fucking nowhere, he finds that the restlessness has bled away. like he's finally thinking clearly, for the first time since he saw tahir fall then woke up in a creepy fucking hospital in a government base. ava fights with vampire strength and that'd be infuriating if not for how good a fighter she is even without it. she's tactical and she plays smart and it's annoying as fuck but it's also a refreshing challenge
when she pins him to the mat, his arm twisted painfully high behind his back (his sore shoulder is screaming at him and he's so fucking grateful she isn't holding back, that she isn't pitying him) he lets her. he stays still and he breathes and he blinks the black spots out of his vision and he doesn't talk
'had enough?' she asks and he wants to bristle but there's nothing mocking in it. there's barely any inflection at all
'fuck you,' he says anyway. he might have gained some respect for her but that doesn't mean he has to like her
'you won't be any good to anyone out here,' she says next and he freezes, then tries to throw her off. she digs her knee into his back and twists her arm higher, implacable and as solid as a fucking brick wall, and he relents with a strangled yelp.
'fuck you,' he repeats, with more feeling this time. 'you don't know shit about me'
'i know your type,' she says and oh, there's the judgement he'd been expecting as soon as she came in. it's almost comforting, familiar ground as it is, but it's gone in the next breath. 'you got scared, and now you don't know what to do with yourself.'
he snarls wordlessly and struggles but she doesn't give an inch, and he hates himself for how it brings everything he's been burying to the surface. 'not all of us are monsters,' he snaps, the words meant to bite. she squeezes his wrist punishingly tight but he just grins. 'some of us have got to make do with what we are'
'you won't be of help to anyone like this,' she says and he knows she's right but it's not like knowing that helps any when all he can do is lie around and wait
'i don't give a shit about 'anyone''
'you won't be able to help tahir like this,' she amends and he freezes
'that's real fuckin' cheap,' he chokes out, but he doesn't struggle. she's right he knows she is but the thought memory thought of tahir letting himself get hurt because he was protecting him freezes his insides solid with something he doesn't want to call fear
she squeezes his wrist again, then lets him go. she straightens up but he stays there, just rolls onto his back so he can look up at the featureless ceiling with a blank stare and not jar his ribs quite as bad with every breath. 'rest,' she tells him. 'heal. then, i'll teach you how to fight those like us'
he huffs a laugh even though it hurts. 'that almost sounds like you care'
he hears her footsteps pause, but he doesn't turn his head to look at her. 'it is regrettable that you became involved in this, but you are. i take care of my team.' there's what sounds like actual warmth in her voice, and before he can figure out how the fuck he's supposed to respond to that the doors to the gym click again and she is gone
'fucking hell,' he mutters into the silence. 'tahir's gonna kill me'