Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Nick (played by young Leonardo DiCaprio as Jack Dawson) looked out his window to see Gatsby (played by Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow) lying on the hood of his gorgeous car. He could only let his imagination run with that image. His heart skipped a beat and he made his way toward the door. He ran outside and leapt into Gatsby’s arms. Gatsby spun him around in a circle and set him back down. “I feel as though I haven't seen you in ages, old sport,” Gatsby said. Nick giggled and pecked his boy toy’s nose with a kiss. Gatsby blushed and took Nick’s hand while he pulled him into the car.”Where would you like to go today, old sport?” “Well, I do always enjoy dinner and a show…” Nick started. “Dinner and a show it is!” Gatsby exclaimed. “And the show… at my house ;)?” he suggested slyly. Nick grinned. “What do you have in mind?”
“Oh nothing... maybe a little something upstairs in The Room™.” WELL NICK KNEW WHAT THAT MEANT. TIME TO FUUUUUCK. They had their minds made up and Gatsby drove off in the direction of New York. They would have dinner at the finest soup kitchen in town. Jk he was taking his beau to Le Cul du Poulet. Nick sat next to Gatsby, watching him out of the corner of his eye. The way his hands gripped the steering wheel, the way his free hand casually tapped the center console. He noticed Gatsby glance over at him and bit his lip like the kinky fuck he is. “Maybe we should pull over for a moment..” he said seductively. But just as Nick was about to open the car door, Gatsby slid his hand into his pants and grabbed his dick. Nock almost passed out from the excitement that filled his body but mostly his huge dick. “HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE A BIG DICK” “Really?” Nick said. “YEAH YOU SHOULD LET ME SUCK IT” Without hesitation, Nick whipped out his DIK and began to chant “SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT” Gatsby picked up NIck and gently tossed him (actually he just fucking threw him) into the backseat. He threw himself back there as well. Landing on bog dik. Gatsby suckked his dik. It big. Big dik. Gatsby quickly ripped his pants off and positioned himself on top of Nick so that he was sucking his dick while straddling his face. Nick leaned up or forward? and stuck his tongue in da ass. Suddenly there was a tap on the window made by a small childish hand. There was a giggle from outside. “Momma the fuck is that!” a child’s voice called. Nick looked out the window suddenly and saw his cousin Daisy (played by Keston J. Finney in a wig) approaching the car. “FUCK” he shouted. “GET YOUR PANTS ON GATSBY” Nick threw his pants on and jumped out of the car. “ Daisyyy,” he said with a hint of nervousness in his voice. “Oh, hello Nick! Funny seeing you here!” Daisy said as she walked over to the car. Nick slammed the door of the car while Gatsby struggled to get his RIPPED pants on. “Is that… Gatsby’s car?” Daisy asked. The car shook a bit. “Why… yes it is! What do you know? Didn't see it here,” Nick said. “Didn't you just get out of it?” Daisy said. Nick laughs hysterically. “No, what do you think I do fuck aro- I mean run around with Gatsby all day? Hahahahahaha He was just… letting me borrow his gorgeous fuck car” “What?” “I mean automobile” NIck quickly corrected himself. “Is this your little girl?” Nick asked, trying to change the subject. “YES!” Daisy screamed at the top of her lungs “oh Nick, I'm so glad you get to meet her now! This is Gertrude (played by Donovan Malloy).” “GERTRUDE THIS IS YOUR UNCLE NICK HES SUPER FUCKING STRAAIGHT NO HOMO” said Nick. All of a sudden, Gatsby exited the door on the other side of the car with his half-pants tied around his waist, fashioned into a skirt-like object. “Oh, hello there! Nick, I forgot to tell you I left my… cat! Yes. My cat was still in the car before you left… couldn't let you leave without getting him out.. funny I didn't notice you had driven away……” “HOLY BONKERS” Daisy hollered. “ITS MISTA GATSBY MY ONE TRU E LOVER WHO WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY HEART. AND VIRGINITY.” Nicks face went from a smile to a frown in one movement. “0 TO 100 REAL QUICK” Daisy exclaimed, reminiscent. “Oh yes hello Ms. Banana its good to see you but i really must get going. Nick could you assist me and my pretty pussy back to my house?” “I would be delighted,” Nick said, but before he could take one step Daisy said “I WANNA SEE YOUR PUSSY GATSBY.” Gatsby looked around nervously before picking up a rock and throwing it at the trash bins behind him. “Oh no!” he exclaimed, “there goes my pussy we must go after her!” Daisy started running towards the bins. “Quick get in the car go go go!” Gatsby hissed at Nick. They peeled out of the parking lot and headed towards Le Cul du Poulet.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Things get weird
“Oh, it smells like top ramen,” Nick said innocently. And he was right: Le Cul du Poulet did smell like top ramen. “That’s not top ramen, old sport,” Gatsby said with a deep chuckle (said in the voice of The Count from Sesame Street). But it was, in fact, partly top ramen. The other part was…… well, something else. Gatsby strutted towards a poorly lit booth in the back corner of the restaurant. “Dank,” Nick thought to himself. “This is kinda like that time I smoked 500 joints and ended up in a meat locker sucking on a sock.” Of course, he would never tell that to Gatsby. This was his favortit restaruant. They sat down and opened their menus. Gartsby scrutinized the menu until he decided what we wanted: a milk. Slrrrrrrp glug glug Nick ordered two nackos. The waiter left with their oders. Gatsby pulled Nick into his lap and slowly licked his face. Jamie plz fix ths geammar. Nick shuddered and turned to face Gatsby. He leaned towards him and stuck his tongue in his ear. He wiggled it around and breathed “How do you like that, Mr. Fuckboi?” Gatsby patted Nick on the head for about five minutes until he saw the waiter coming back. He slid out from under Nickolas and they acted as if nothing disturbing had happened at all. Gatsbyate the milk. They paid the bill and started the long drive home. I have lost the insiprisation jamie halp. The sundest was gorgeous and they drove pasted Geoarges shop and just fucking creame0d Myrtle as she ran out in the road whoopsies. Oh noes geroge is devastedad. They got in Gatsby’s garage and could barely make it inside without getting on top of wach other. They stoppec at one of the 2 bars in Gatsbys house and grabed one whiskey and eight champagne (pronounced like lasagne). They stumbled up too hundred flights ov stairs until they got to the floor that hosted The Room™. Gatsby took out his key ring and ipend about 2 locks and opened the door mysteriously. It was dark and Nick couldn’t see much. “Just go ahead and sit on the ‘couch’, old sport,” Gatsby said as he closed the door behind him. Nick made his way to the ‘couch’, but not without runnning into the stripper pole. He ripped a piece off his shirt to stop the nosebleed and continued to walk towatds the ‘couch’. Nick sat down on the ‘couch’. “Gatsby…. Where are you?” He hearf some muffles across the room muffle muffle. “Gatsby??” Within like three seconds Gatsby had crawl sprinted across the room this is gonna be furry ponr now. “UwU rawr XD owo” Gatsby pawed at Nick’s leg. He had on floppy dog ears, a tail, and paws. Nick’s heart melted into a puddle of mush when he saw Gatsby in the moonlight streaming through the pawprint window. “Sit, boy,” Nick commanded. Gatsby sat back on his legs and stared at his “owner” with large, purple eyes. I might actually cry this is horrible. Lets speed thtrough this until Jamie can help create the thing of nightmares. Nyerrrrrrr. Nick woke up the next afternoon in a pastel bedroom. He looked around and figured he was on the twelfth floor. That was the one with all the pastely stuff. He slid off the bed and rolled down the stairs to the kitchin on the eighth floor. He cooked himself some roast beef. It was bomb roast beef. After his broonch, he roamed the house in search of his great Gatsby.
Nick went out to the pool. Maybe Gatsby would be there? Nope biTCH. He stroodled his way to the lake because thats what he do. No Gatsby at the Lake. “Where dafuq is hE???” Nick said to himself.