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Not Just Twins, But Striders

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Bro corners you coming out of the bathroom, towel around your waist. You regret going straight to the bathroom after the strife without getting clothes on the way, but you won’t let him intimidate you just because you have a bit of exposed skin. He stares at you for a minute, then tips his shades onto his head. You frown, because he’s more protective of his eyes staying covered than you or Dave, but there he is, looking at you with eyes the same colour as yours. No. Leering at you. He takes his time, looking down and then back up your body. You raise an eyebrow, as if to say and? because you’re not going to let him know how skeevy it makes you feel.

‘Want to make some cash?’ he asks.

‘Got a job,’ you say.

He stares at you. You wish you weren’t able to translate his silences so well. Bro doesn’t like to talk aloud, but you know what those eyebrows mean. They mean, I want you to do porn for me .

‘You not Strider enough? Need to recruit another one to pick up the slack?’ you say. He knows how to translate your silences just as well, but you speak out loud anyway. You find it creepy holding a conversation entirely in your heads.

‘Two,’ he says.

It takes you a second to get what he’s implying.

‘Dude. You haven’t fucked us up that bad.’

I know how to make you .

‘I earn enough to pay your stingy ass board and to cover my own costs, I don’t need to whore myself out.’

‘You don’t want to go to college?’ he says, like he’s curious as to when you changed your plans.

‘I’ll get a loan like the rest of the god damned country.’

Will you? And Dave? With my income? And you’ll have enough to move away from here? To keep him away from me?

‘Yeah, I want us away, because you do creepy shit like this, don’t bargain future safety over present safety, dickhead, that’s just stupid.’

‘You keep all the profits.’

‘What? Are you insane? Why would you even do this if you didn’t want the profits?’

You do not like the leer he gives you.

‘Only for every second video,’ he says.

‘Not interested, Bro,’ you say, and you make to walk away.

He flashsteps in front of you.

‘Do one. Keep your clothes on, just make out a little. See how much you earn. I bet I could make enough to cover a month’s rent just from you kissing each other on the cheek like little school girls.’ He leers at you again. ‘Not just twins but twin Striders . You were born for this.’

You walk away again and he lets you, because he’s in your head and he knows it. He hasn’t said so many words to you in a row for years. Years. How long has he been planning this?

Dave’s lying on his bed when you walk into the room. You suddenly feel self conscious about getting changed in front of him. You would punch Bro for it if he wouldn’t take it as an invitation to strife and gleefully kick your ass.

‘Was Bro talking just then?’ Dave asks, while you rummage through your drawers, stalling. ‘With human words and everything?’

‘Yeah,’ you say.

‘Okay,’ he says, all defensive like he wasn’t trying to pry on you or anything, jeez .

You pull your underwear on while you’re still wearing the towel and try to put your clothes on as normally and unsexily as possible. Dave’s not even looking, he’s dicking about on his phone, why are you being so stupid?

You roll up to your shared computer and spend all of ten minutes on it before you realise you’re too worked up for it. You’re too tired from the strife to exercise. You’re too on edge to watch something. You shut the computer down and fall face first onto your bed, as dramatically as possible.

‘What crawled up your asshole?’ Dave asks.

You just shake your head.

You should have realised that Bro would clue him in soon enough.

 

He doesn’t bring it up for two weeks, long enough that you’re basically back to normal again. He finds you and Dave in the lounge, playing video games, considering turning in because it’s getting pretty late. He stands in front of the TV. You reach behind the couch for your sword.

I don’t want to strife, idiot.

Your eyes dart to Dave and back to him.

Yup.

‘Clue me in, guys, I’m the idiot brother who never learned what smirk number 413 means.’

You silently beg Bro not to make you translate.

He dares you to.

‘Bro wants us to do twincest porn,’ you say, as blandly as possible.

‘Wow,’ Dave says. ‘Just when I thought you couldn’t be a worse guardian.’

I’m wounded .

‘You are not,’ you snap. ‘We’re not doing it,’ you tell Dave.

‘Obviously,’ he says. ‘Not that we aren’t super hot, I can see why you want to capitalise on this, but … ew.’

‘You tellin’ me you never kissed before?’ Bro growls.

You roll your eyes.

‘You can’t use your porn studio as an after school day care and then be surprised to see your kids trying to figure out what the fuck kissing is,’ Dave says.

You glare at Dave, tell him to stop talking all the fucking time, stop adding fuel to the stupid Bro flames, he’s got enough without us talking.

You glance at Bro and know he got a lot more out of that than Dave did. Stupid twin powers not actually existing.

Go on, tell him why you gotta .

‘Bro’s not paying for college.’

‘What the fuck, Bro, you’re like a squillionaire.’

Be even richer if you two’d put out.

‘He’s offering us the profits of every second video. And says we can keep our clothes on for the first one.’

Good boy, sell the pitch.

‘Shut the fuck up,’ you say.

Didn’t say nothin’.

‘Whatever, we’ll manage, right?’ Dave asks, and he looks at you all trusting. It just about breaks your heart. Because he totally will do whatever you tell him. And … you’ve done a lot of maths over the last two weeks.

‘... Probably,’ you say.

‘Dirk …’ Dave says.

‘Problem is he says he’ll let us out when we want … but why give up a good thing when you got it?’

You exchange a look with Dave. But, how do you survive without it? You haven’t told Dave that you got suddenly let go from the mechanics where you worked on the weekends. You know he would want to believe it was a coincidence. You felt the metaphorical noose tighten, no matter if Bro was behind it or not.

‘We’re 17, you’ll lose your license,’ Dave says suddenly. You hadn’t even thought about that.

For now. Come on, kid.

‘Oh,’ you say. ‘You want us to train.’

‘Oh for fucks sake,’ Dave says.

You know how it goes .

‘Yeah, we do. Thanks for that.’

Bro shrugs and leaves the room. You guess you’re being allowed to confer. You don’t imagine for a second the privacy is real.

‘Dirk, what’s our play?’ Dave asks.

You grab his wrist and drag him to your bedroom. You let him go and sit in front of the computer. You catch a hint of relief in his eyes when you let him go and oh shit, he thought you were dragging him to your bedroom. You give him a cross look, don’t fuck around now, Dave.

You boot up and pull up your spreadsheets.

‘These are the scholarships we could get. Could . These are the loans we can get. Bro has too much money, we’re not eligible for much. These are housing costs, utilities, grocery estimates. Here’s job availability statistics, time spent studying, unexpected expense probability matrix—’

‘Dude, I get it, you calculate shit. What does it mean?’

‘It means … I calculated for bare minimum and this doesn’t cover it. It means he isn’t gonna stop demanding board just because I don’t have a job so the savings part is gonna be gone by the time we’re out of here and it means … I think we gotta put off college. Move out, take a year, work our butts off, look at our expenses then.’

‘Dirk, you get in the job market there’s no way you’re going back to college. You’ll get drawn into full-time employment and you’ll never be a kick ass engineer-dude without a degree.’

You shrug.

‘What does he mean we can keep our clothes on for the first video?’

‘People go crazy for twin stuff. Even if we just make out, he seems to think we’ll earn enough money to tempt us further down the rabbit hole.’

‘Shit.’

Dave drops onto his bed. You spin away from the computer and watch him.

‘This is what you’ve been freaking out over.’

It’s not a question.

‘Shit, how long do you think he’s been thinking about this?’

‘We probably don’t want to know the answer to that,’ you say. You’ve been wondering, too.

Dave’s quiet for a while. Usually, when he’s thinking idly, he narrates what he’s doing, makes it rhyme, always a low rumble in the background as you go about your day. You don’t like him quiet. You don’t like him unhappy.

‘No judge zone?’ he says quietly.

‘Always,’ you say.

‘I’d rather … I mean, at least he doesn’t want me alone. With one of those ass-ripping cocks and no soul. You got my back.’

‘Always,’ you say.

He nods.

‘I can’t get my head around it,’ he says. ‘I feel stupid for being surprised. Like, this probably isn’t even his worst.’

You slide onto the floor next to his bed and reach up. He grabs your hand without hesitation. You’re touchy feely together, just the two of you, making up for a childhood where the closest thing to a hug you got was a clap on the shoulder, where you picked fights just to get attention. You’ve been avoiding him the last two weeks and he doesn’t hesitate, he’s doesn’t hold your bro’s creepiness against you like you did. You feel so much guilt and so much love.

‘Dirk …’ he says.

You twist round so you face him.

‘No judge zone …’

You nod.

‘Can we … alone?’

You look at his lips involuntarily. He sees. He looks less scared. Oh shit, did he think he was the only one considering it?

‘Sit up, okay?’ you say. Lying down is way too scary.

He does. You climb on the bed. You don’t know how to start this. You look at his lips again, then his eyes. He grabs your arm, pulls you closer. With any other guy, you’d be so much cooler than this. You lean in slightly, pause, lean in again, have a minor freak out. Dave leans in the rest of the way, kisses you gently on the mouth and pulls away again. You look at each other.

‘I mean, it’s not the weirdest thing we’ve done,’ Dave says, with a nervous laugh. It kinda is, though.

You pull him back in for another kiss, hold it longer. It’s filling you with nerves the way making out with other guys never has. It’s Dave, it’s your favourite person, and you don’t know what you’re doing.

When you go to pull back, Dave stops you, slides slightly closer and kisses you again. He threads his fingers in your hair and makes a little amused noise, you know it’s because of the hair gel, and opens his mouth slightly.

You take it for the invitation it is and open your mouth too, reach out with your tongue tentatively.

Oh shit, you’re frenching your brother.

Your tongues slide against each other, and you don’t quite know when your hand found his waist, but you’re pulling him even closer, and unless you want to straddle his lap, this is as close as you’ll get.

You want to straddle his lap.

You pull away and look at him warily. Surely you’re not supposed to get so much out of kissing your brother. When people in movies say “it’s like kissing my brother,” they mean there’s no chemistry, none at all. That simile no longer makes sense to you.

‘We’d be like whores,’ Dave says slowly.

‘You seriously don’t respect whores after our childhood?’ you ask.

He looks at you flatly. That wasn’t his point.

‘We don’t have to,’ you say, to make up for it.

‘We’re going to,’ he says real quietly.

You bite your lip, try to think of something to say. He reaches up, strokes your lip until you let it go.

‘I trust you,’ he says.

‘I trust you,’ you say.

You’re not sure who reaches for who first, because you meet in the middle, and then you’re kissing again, clinging to each other because you don’t care what anyone else is doing so long as Dave’s okay, and you thought you were going to get out of this house relatively unscathed but here you are, kissing your brother like it’s the most important thing you’ll ever do. You push him down to lie down, even though you were the one to insist on sitting up, because now lying side by side seems less scary than hopping on his lap and he pulls you close and he smells like home and fuck.

You love him, of course you do, he’s your Dave, but right now it feels like every kiss is tugging on your heart and you try to pull him closer at the same time that he does and fuck suddenly your competitiveness is a turn on. You tangle your legs with his and you love the way his tongue is fucking your mouth, you let it happen and then fight it and of course you’re both hard, why would you not be?

You stroke the hair out of his eyes, cup his cheek, look in his eyes.

‘Don’t say it,’ you beg. You don’t want to hear how fucked up this is, how you should stop, how … He kisses you softly, it’s a promise, he’s not judging you, this is a no judge zone, you said so.

‘Stay,’ he says.

You swap increasingly lazy kisses until you’re both yawning way too much and then you fight over who gets to be the big spoon until you relent and let Dave cuddle you.

‘We’re a team, right?’ he says.

‘Always,’ you say. ‘Don’t do porn without me,’ you mumble, before you can think better of it.

You feel Dave’s laughter on your neck and it makes your heart hurt because you love him so much.

 

You wake up first, and barely manage to contain the instinct to recoil backwards when you see that Cal’s been placed right in front of your face. You manage to control your body, scared you’ll wake Dave up. He doesn’t need to know Bro knows. You ease out from under his arm, thank a non-existent god that you ended up on the outside side of the bed. You scoop up Cal’s strings and take it with you as you go to the bathroom. You leave him hung up in the shower, a typical Cal position, knowing full well that he’ll probably end up on top of the fridge or something before you even finish taking a piss.

Bro’s leaning on the door to your bedroom when you go to go back inside.

You gonna do it? his eyebrow asks.

You shrug.

He smirks, looks at you with something like admiration and walks to his room.

You haven’t wanted to be admired by Bro since you were 11 and it finally clicked that his ideals were actually the worst. You try and push him out of your mind as you quietly step into your room.

‘Hey,’ Dave says sleepily.

‘Hey,’ you say. You sit on his bed so he knows you’re still there with him. He pulls you down into a hug so you know he is too.

Chapter Text

You’ve been to Bro’s studio more times than you’ve been to your school library. More times than you’ve been to the cinema. More times than you’ve been to your grandparents’ house. Still, it’s different going in knowing it isn’t just your Bro’s workplace, it’s yours, at least for today. There’s a lot of the same people you’ve gotten to somewhat know, the kinds of people who are just the right kind of dead on the inside to not give a damn about teenagers (and kids, god, you were four the first time you came here) hanging around as they shoot pornos, but it’s also emptier than usual.

Because the actors aren’t there. Because you’re the actor. Well, you and Dirk. He seems chill. Chill as a refrigerator. Maybe the fridge could probably use a little tune up. Like, maybe it would be running a little cooler if you didn’t keep all these swords in it, but it’s still holding up remarkably well considering it’s gonna be filmed mackin’ on with the blender in an hour.

Dirk smirks at you and you realise that some of that (all of it, and probably more) was out loud. What can you say, you like the sound of your own voice, silence is for chumps, you are ambient , bitches.

Bro chucks a thumb in the direction of make-up and you don’t need Dirk to translate that one. You go, and they have mascara that’s the same almost-white as your lashes, makes them even longer, apply foundation so smooth you can’t tell where your skin is naked and they look you over, debate over deepening your collarbones. Dirk can’t wear contacts, but you can, so you get orange ones. They’re playing up the twin angle real hard. And … orange is a lot less devil-worshipey than red.

Dirk gets the same treatment next to you. He bears it with a look of boredom that you know means he’s anxious. You know and no one else does. You breathe deeply and remember why you’re doing this, why you’re sharing your Dirk. He’d give up his future if you said you didn’t want to go this way, but you can cope with it, you’ve seen it done a million times and it’s with Dirk and after it’s over you’re gonna steal him away from the apartment with Bro and his puppets and his cameras and be safe together somewhere for a little while.

He smiles at you and you smile back. He looks stupidly pretty all made up. He’d kick your ass if you said so.

After make-up, you hit wardrobe. They dress you up in complementary colours. Behind the scenes stuff is happening while you get ready, Bro is looming over a poor guy trying to set up the couch for you, cameras are being placed, mics checked. You sit on the couch together while they fuss with lighting, angles, whatever they’re doing. It was this stuff that got you interested in photography, the care that they take with it, but today it’s just dragging. You want to shoot the scene and escape.

Bro crouches in front of the crouch and looks at Dirk, then you. He gets to wear his shades, of course, but you don’t.

‘You don’t think we can do it, hire professionals,’ Dirk says.

Bro tilts his head.

‘Yeah. Loud and clear.’

You don’t know how they do that. You saw Bro using sign language with the camera guy earlier, something he does at home sometimes too, but he doesn’t really need to with Dirk around. There’s nothing wrong with his voice, you don’t get what his deal is. You talk literally all the time, talking’s great.

‘You chill?’ Dirk asks.

‘Duh,’ you say. ‘I’m gonna kiss you so good you turn gay.’

He smirks.

‘It’s funny because you’re already gay,’ you explain.

He rolls his eyes at you.

Finally, it’s time to go. You push yourself off the couch and take your mark at the door. Get your cue. Open the door, close it, drop prop keys into a prop glass bowl. Do people actually use those? Do people actually need that many keys? You’re supposed to be a high school student in this, too, why would you have more than just a house key and a car key?

‘Hey,’ Dirk says, from the couch. He puts down a book. ‘How was the date?’

‘Yeah, fine,’ you say, utterly unconvincing. You pull his feet up from the couch and sit under them, let them fall back on your lap.

‘Doesn’t sound fine,’ Dirk says.

‘Adam, shut up,’ you say. Dirk looks nothing like an Adam, but you’re glad you’re not using your real names.

He holds his hands up in mock surrender.

‘Don’t be a bitch, I know you don’t like her.’

‘I didn’t say anything,’ Dirk says.

‘You get real pissy when I go out with her though, don’t you?’

‘Don’t go there, bro,’ he says.

‘What, are you jealous? Jealous because I get the dates and you’re stuck at home?’

‘No,’ he says, and he takes his feet away.

The cameras swoop around, capturing expressions. You try not to get distracted by the movement, you focus on Dirk.

‘You don’t think I can’t tell when you’re lying?’ you ask.

He glares at you.

You hold, let the tension build.

‘So do something about it,’ you say.

‘Fine,’ Dirk says, and then he pulls you in for an angry kiss. You return it with much more enthusiasm than realistic before drawing away. If this was real life (and Adam and Nick weren’t as fucked up as you and Dirk), there’s no way Nick wouldn’t just push him away.

‘What the fuck?’ you say.

Dirk looks away, presumably with tragic regret.

You frown to yourself.

‘What the fuck,’ you repeat, quieter, like you’re asking yourself.

There’s a slight pause, as if this is going any other way, and then you grab him, pull him back to you, kiss him. It isn’t like how you kiss in private, you’ve been trained now, you know how to kiss so a camera gets the best angles, how to show passion without blocking the shot.

You give him control of the kiss, of the timing. He’s the one who has Bro’s schedules memorised. You just stroke his skin, enjoy his weight when he climbs on your lap, pull at his clothes.

‘This is wrong,’ he tells you. ‘You’re my brother and … I’ve wanted this so long.’

You pick him up and then drop him on his back onto the couch, slide in between his legs, thrust nice and slow to show off the movement.

Fuck, ’ he says.

You press into him, kiss him more. The minutes pass as the cameras capture the way you grab at each other, the kisses, the bites. You sit up, start to take off your shirt, and the door slams open.

A rare Bro cameo. He’s not wearing his shades and you hate that. But the camera’s got to see his eyes, his hair, make the connection.

You drop your shirt, fall to the floor, try to distance yourself from Dirk. He has a gorgeous hickey on his neck, his legs were spread, there’s no hiding his boner.

‘Hi, Daddy,’ Dirk says.

You hold the scene for an eternity before someone yells ‘ Cut!’ and you’re allowed to break character.

Bro nods at you, then goes to watch the footage playback. You sit on the couch with Dirk, wait to see if you need to reshoot anything.

You don’t. You find yourself torn between relieved and also kinda wishing that you weren’t … good at this shit. You’ve seen famous actors go through take after take, Bro demanding perfection before he lets them go. You know he wanted an unstaged feel to this, but ...

 

You change back into your own clothes, your own face, and wait impatiently for Dirk to be finished. You don’t know why they’re taking longer with him, they did you up the same, that’s the whole point, you’re aggressively twins today. When he walks back to you, looking like himself again, you grab his hand and drag him out of the studio. Let him be the cool twin, the one who doesn’t care, you’ll be the one who gets you away quickly. You drop his hand outside. You’re obviously brothers and you’re too old to be holding hands for any innocent reason.

‘Come on,’ you say, starting down the street. There’s a park not far away, you can find a quiet place.

‘Dave, we should just go home,’ he says. ‘Bro won’t be done for ages.’ No, of course not, you aren’t the only film being made today, there’s never just one.

‘Don’t want to be in his space,’ you mutter.

Dirk’s hand twitches, and you know he nearly did something affectionate. You hate that you both feel so self conscious about that. There’s not even anyone around.

‘Okay,’ he says.

You walk to the park, brushing hands occasionally because you’re close, but not close enough. You know you just made out with him for an hour not long ago (in film time it won’t even be twenty minutes) but you miss him so much it hurts.

The park is full. You wander around for a while, but it’s worse than the studio, because at the studio they were either too desensitised or they didn’t think you were actually brothers or they just straight up didn’t care.

‘Let’s go home,’ you say.

He squeezes your hand subtly before you leave.

 

You don’t even pause in the living room, you want your own space, but when you open the door you freeze.

Because sometimes you forget that this isn’t actually your own space, everything in this apartment is your Bro’s.

Your single beds are gone, replaced with a double.

Dirk sighs behind you.

‘Gonna need some translation help here,’ you say. ‘Does he just … want us to ... sleep together now?’

‘He wants us close. Not to him, he knows that’s a lost cause, he wants … this to keep happening.’

‘So we’ll do more porn?’

‘Yeah, but I think there’s a bit of …’ he hesitates. ‘He wants us happy, in his own way. Well, happy is probably a bit strong, but he wants … he likes that we watch each other’s back.’

It kinda creeps you out that Dirk always knows what Bro means. But he always does and he always tells you when to watch out and when to be ready. You really don’t think you’re holding up your end of the bargain, back-watching style.

‘He’s encouraging us …’

‘I know, and it makes it feel worse to me too, but …’ Dirk takes off his shades, so you can see what he’s thinking. He does that for you, lets you have the advantage. He looks sad. ‘Dave, I’d rather be manipulated into being with you than be manipulated into being without you.’

You reach for him, and he meets you halfway. You’re good at this now, good at kissing him, doing it prettily. He wraps himself around you easily, and you forget about being a liability, you just push yourself against him.

‘Fuck him, right?’ you say.

‘Yeah,’ he says. He kisses you desperately, like he’s afraid you’ll change your mind, but you’ll follow wherever he leads. You kiss him back, relishing in the messy moments, the parts where you would have felt Bro’s riding crop on you during your training, but now they’re just genuine and nice.

‘Bed?’ he says.

You drag him backwards onto the bed, and you don’t know if owning it makes it better, but you’re not going to worry about it anymore. You know this is your bed now, you know you’re gonna get it on in it eventually, you might as well do it now.

‘Wait,’ Dirk says.

You frown at him as he pulls back, rummages through your desk drawers. You nearly tell him he’s presuming an awful lot but then he finds what he’s looking for, some ugly mess of metal and wires. Right, well, that probably isn’t a sex toy. He fiddles with the computer, then your sound gear.

‘Turn your phone off,’ he says, reaching into his pocket for his own. You don’t question him.

He waits until the phones are powered down before he flicks a switch on the device.

You hear a electronic whine.

‘What did you do?’ you ask.

‘EMP,’ he says with a grin. ‘Fried any cameras or mics that might be in here. Possibly downstairs, too, but fuck it.’

‘You’re fucking brilliant,’ you tell him.

He wastes no more time climbing on top of you, pushing you into the mattress. You don’t know if you’ve ever felt more safe. He strokes your hair as he kisses you, he’s so gentle it just might kill you.

‘Fuck, Dirk,’ you say.

He smiles against your lips, kisses you deeper.

You slip your hands under his shirt, pull him closer, dig your nails in like you know he likes.

He sits up and you almost don’t let him, but then his shirt’s off and yeah, that’s better, you like it better when you can reach more of his skin. He pulls yours off too and then presses your chests together as you kiss. There’s nothing quite like that awesome moment when you first fit your chests together, the feeling of skin against skin, the warmth that is both comforting and sexy.

You roll him over without resistance. He tries to compete with you sometimes, you’ve been competing all your lives and it’s a hard habit to break, but if there’s one thing you’ve learnt in the last month, it’s that your brother likes it when you win.

He really likes it when you push his wrists to the bed, keep him pinned. He squirms against you like he wants to be free. You push harder against him and suck really slowly on his lower lip. He moans like you sucked on his dick. You bite down, not too hard, and skim your hands over his chest. He’s so fucking hot.

You move on to his neck, sucking sloppily at the bite marks you made earlier. You won’t give him any new ones, but the skin’s obviously tender from the noises he’s making.

‘Want me to fuck you?’ you ask him, before sucking on his earlobe.

‘Shit, yes, Dave, yes , do that,’ he says.

You haven’t done more than exchange handjobs secretly under covers because you didn’t want to play into Bro’s games.

You smirk at him and pull away, just long enough to strip his pants off.

Yes ,’ he says.

You love it when he gets all eager.

You pull your jeans off too and then lean back close. Fuck , it feels so good to be all exposed. He clutches you closer and you grind against his dick.

‘Thank you, Blake Conroy,’ you say quietly as you reach for the lube. It’s better with your brother than it ever was with the idiot who took your virginity, but at least he taught you how to prep a guy properly.

Dirk swears like a fucking sailor as you push a slick finger into his asshole, but it’s the good swearing, the kind that makes you bite into his shoulder and rut into his leg. You get yourself under control, focus on fingering him.

He doesn’t get himself under control. It’s so satisfying to see him like this, his cool shattered because of you. You insert another finger into him and he bucks his hips, like he needs you to do more. You tease him, stroke him gently ‘cause you know he wants it rough.

‘Gorgeous,’ you tell him.

‘Fuckin’ cocksucking son of a whore,’ he gasps.

‘Want me to stop?’ you ask, adding another finger.

‘Dave, I swear to fucking god, fuck ,’ he says, until you interrupt him by finding his prostate and his words turn into garbled nonsense.

‘Mmm, you’re so beautiful,’ you tell him.

‘Nngh! Dave!’ he says.

‘Gonna fuck you real good, love,’ you tell him.

‘Hurry up and—gah! Dave, ’ he moans.

You pull your fingers out slowly and he swears again, grinds against your hand like that’ll help. You coat your dick with lube and heft his ankles onto your shoulders. He grips them close to your neck as you slide in, which, ah, fuck, it’s just too good.

You ease your way in, get struck with the revelation that he has absolutely done this before because he’s taking this really fucking well. He grabs at your ass, gasps, ‘ more ,’ and you let yourself move faster. Every thrust feels better, smoother, it’s all wet, hot, deliciousness surrounding your cock and you are going to blow your load so fucking early it’s an embarrassment.

‘Dirk, it’s too fucking good,’ you gasp. ‘Gonna come.’

‘Yes, yes , come in me Dave, so close.’

He grabs his cock and pumps it as you thrust into him harder, faster, lose all your fucking sense of rhythm and then he comes and clenches down on your dick so beautifully that it sets you off.

You groan, bury yourself deep inside and ride the sensation out. When you pull yourself back together, you pull him to the edge of the bed before you pull out.

‘You killed me,’ Dirk says lazily. ‘You gotta do clean up because I’m dead.’

You bite his knee because it’s still in reach and he laughs and lets his legs fall to the ground. You get a cloth and take care of him because as much as you don’t want to be his slave, you haven’t seen him relax like that in years. Maybe ever.

You climb into bed with him and cuddle him close.

‘When do we gotta be Striders again?’ you ask. You’re pretty sure nuzzling someone’s neck is decidedly not Strider.

‘Got a text alert set up,’ Dirk says.

‘Dude, are you falling asleep?’ you ask.

He opens one eye, comically making the effort to keep the other one closed. He sucks at winking.

‘No ...’ he says.

‘What’s the text alert?’ you push.

‘Uuuuuuuugh!’ he says. He climbs over you to get his phone (entirely unnecessarily, he could have reached it fine without putting all his weight on you) and leans against you as he finds something.

‘Here,’ he says.

It’s a map with Bro’s studio on it.

‘What am I looking at?’

He taps the side and a series of readings come up. Readings like heart-rate and temperature.

‘Did you put a tracker in Bro?’

‘What, are you kidding? I’m not that ninja. I put it in his hat.’

‘What happens if he leaves his hat behind?’

Dirk gives you the blank look you deserve. Bro’s hat budget is ridiculous. He loves hats. Dirk wears a hat on his shirt most days, just to mock him. You bought him a hat with a picture of a hat on it for Christmas a few years ago.

You take his phone and toss it on the desk, pull him back in for cuddles. You trust that he knows what he’s about.

Chapter Text

Bro gives you the cheque to share with Dave. He doesn’t bother splitting it. Dirk and Dave Strider , it says, like you have a joint account, like you’re fucking married. It’s a lot of money. It’s a lot of money and it’s not nearly enough to actually make a difference for your future. You know how much money that would take, even if you pretend like you’ll both get part time jobs and share a room in a share house and reduce your calorie intake to “survival”. And you kinda want better than that, especially if you’re going to these lengths to get it.

You know that’s the trap, that if you can do, like, five pornos and then live at bare minimum existing or you can do, maybe, ten pornos and live comfortably … well, you’re already doing pornos, you might as well get hung for a chicken as an egg, or whatever the fuck the saying is.

You deposit it in your account and add Dave’s name to it so he has access too. You watch the video together, headphones in so Bro doesn’t know, even though he’ll see the IP address later.

You can’t help but criticise every part of it, your delivery of lines, the timing, your expressions. But it’s better than other porn you’ve seen. It feels more genuine. You’ve got chemistry together. You read some of the comments. Most of them are begging for more, the three minute preview was nothing but the twenty minute long video wasn’t enough either. An admin who is probably Bro assures them that this is new talent, he’s working on signing them but every bit of encouragement helps, keep commenting, keep paying for the full version.

There’s some graphic descriptions of exactly what moment made this or that commenter come, what they would do to you, which twin was their favourite. You’re glad, again, that you’re in this with Dave, who you trust so much.

Dave shuts the computer down before you’re finished reading and you let him. You know it wasn’t productive. You should let Bro worry about that stuff. You let Dave drag you back to the bed and stroke your back until you’re not as stressed.

You’re codependent, you know that.

The way you see it, you won’t ever suffer separation anxiety because you’ll never be separated. You just won’t let it happen. And fuck anyone who says that’s unhealthy.

 

Bro leaves a note on your door a week later.

bros

you in?

yes

definitely

absolutely <3

It’s an ironic take on a rigged “do you like me” note, and you appreciate it for its irony. You also appreciate it for the utter lack of options. You hand it to Dave and he grimaces.

‘We won’t keep our clothes on this time,’ he says.

‘Nope,’ you say. ‘I’d say that the tamest we can hope for is oral.’

Dave gives you a look, like yeah, so tame, bro and you give him a look right back, compared to what we’ve seen? Yeah .

You walk out to the kitchen and Dave follows.

‘So, we doing this, bro?’

‘We are, in fact, making it happen,’ you say.

‘You reckon Bro will let me promo Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff?’

‘You wanna give your weirdo fans a link to their creator doing porn?

Dave shudders.

‘Point,’ he concedes.

You put bread in the toaster and pull out the peanut butter as he makes coffee and pours juice. You have the morning routine down pat.

You’re almost finished with your coffee when Bro drops down from the roof crawl space. A few loose smuppets tumble down with him.

‘Training in an hour,’ he says.

‘Strife or sex?’ you ask lazily.

He doesn’t even bother to answer, just walks to his bedroom.

‘Come on,’ you say to Dave, ‘we gotta shower.’

You drain your coffee and head to the bathroom, stripping as you go. It isn’t like you’re allowed to have shame anymore.

You love showering with Dave. Showers were already one of the best things, but with Dave they get even better. He massages the soap into you, loosens your muscles with his firm fingers and lets you put your weight on him. You kiss lazily because you have an hour and because you won’t be allowed lazy kisses then. You stroke each other, and it feels so nice in the hot water that you can almost forget that you have to do this, have to get off now so you can last longer later.

When you’re alone, you get so close that it’s almost hard to move, rebelling against the training that makes you open up, leave room for the camera to see. In the shower, you mess each other’s hair up and knock teeth accidentally and laugh quietly at the noises your bodies make together.

You make sure Dave comes first because you are useless after you orgasm and he somehow always can stay aware enough to finish you off. And you’re competitive as hell.

Then you clean each other, thoroughly, because you are about to be exposed and you might as well act like professionals. You want to stay under the water, just stand there, maybe hugging, but Dave pushes you out. You can have a longer shower after.

‘Don’t see how you haven’t developed gills,’ Dave says as you dry yourselves.

‘Wouldn’t I make the prettiest mermaid?’

‘Merman,’ Dave says.

‘What, the tails fine but I can’t grow tits?’ you say sarcastically.

You sit on the futon and flick through channels to pass the time. It doesn’t take long before Bro comes back. He puts on some ironically bad jazz music, which, yeah, it’s bad, but it’s better than silence.

He makes the movement with his hands that means strip , because he wants both of you to know what he wants, but he’s not gonna talk because that would be uncomfortable . God, you hate him. And you hate that you’ll probably know all the signs he uses today, but if some stranger asked you where the train station was, or something common in ASL, you’d probably be stumped.

Dave pulls his shirt off and gets the first smack of the riding crop. Bro pulls one hand over the other. Slowly . He points to you. Dave pulls his shirt back down and looks to you as well. You curse yourself for being a teacher’s pet, for watching hours of other people doing this just so that you’ll be good at it yourself.

You don’t want to look at Bro when you do it, so you turn back to Dave, strip slowly for him. He watches you with his head slightly cocked like he’s learning, like he’s trying to remember for next time. It earns him another slap from the whip. Like it .

Dave gives Bro a resentful glare and looks back to you. You help him, stroke your chest gently with your hand, draw his eyes where they should be. When you’re naked, you turn to Bro, ask him with a raised eyebrow if it’s Dave’s turn. Do it yourself.

Okay. You take the step you need to get close to Dave and run your hands over the hem of his shirt. You pull it up, just enough to get your fingers on his skin and touch him. You pull the shirt off, step closer so your chests are just barely touching and pull at his belt.

The crop slaps you on the ass without you even seeing Bro’s hand move.

Leave room for the camera.

You back off a bit and get another slap.

Keep close .

You step back in with one leg, touching on one side, open on Bro’s. One of the annoying contradictions of porn. In any film, actors are standing closer to one another than they would in real life so that they can fit on the frame together, even if it’s a wide shot. But in porn, they’re also constantly forced to open up, leave room between their bodies so they can be seen.

A big part of you wants to stare at Bro while you undress Dave, keep an eye on his tells to see if you’re doing it right, but you look at Dave’s belt instead. Once it’s unbuckled, you meet his eyes as you slide it off. You unbutton and unzip his jeans. You walk your fingers around the denim until you reach his ass. You press close as you grab him, wait to see if you’ll be punished. You hook your thumbs in his jeans and underwear and sink to your knees as you slide them down. You help him step out of the clothes from the floor, and then turn to face Bro.

Well? You ask.

He smirks at you. The sign for good is the same as thank you. You’re not entirely sure which he means.

Go ahead. Tease.

You look up at Dave to make sure he’s okay. He’s watching you intently. You run your hands over his feet, around his ankles.

You get a slap to the back.

I ain’t got all day.

You really do prefer taking your time. But it’s probably better that your own preferences aren’t the focus. You’re not quite sure why it is, but you’d feel better if you were only getting money out of this, not enjoyment.

You skim your fingers over the backs of his calves, his thighs, up to his ass. You give him a little squeeze before kissing him on his hip bone. A slap on your upper thigh reminds you to open up again. You do so without breaking the kiss. You kiss him all around his dick, slowly. He’s hard now, really hard, and you haven’t touched him. You run your fingers feather-light over his dick and watch him twitch. You get a slap.

‘What?’ you ask, incredulously.

Supposed to look good, not just feel good. Grab him.

You give him your most long-suffering look before turning back to Dave. You hate him, you hate his smugness, the way he knows best, the way he’s so sure you’ll only be popular because you’re twins, not because you’re any good. Feeling about as rebellious as you can while still on your fucking knees, you hold Dave steady and sink your mouth down onto him, slowly because you haven’t worked yourself up to it, but all the way to the base.

Fuck ,’ Dave says.

You pull off, just as slowly, and sink down again. When you pull back again, you get a tiny tap on the shoulder from the crop. Not a punishment, a request for attention. You move away from Dave so you can see what Bro wants.

‘You can deep throat,’ Bro says. He crouches on the balls of his feet so he’s level with you.

Cool, apparently you can get him to talk when he doesn’t want to.

You raise your eyebrows to say, no shit .

‘No shit,’ Dave says, apparently not feeling the need to keep the upper hand in non-verbal communication.

‘And?’ you say.

‘And, how good are you?’ Bro asks.

‘On what metric do I rate my performance?’ you ask sarcastically.

‘Um, five stars,’ Dave says. ‘Can I rate him? I rate him five stars.’

Bro waves his hand impatiently.

‘How fast can you take it, how big, how long? Do you have to be in control or can he fuck your face?’

Okay, well, you don’t actually know all those answers because you don’t feel the compulsion to quantify every aspect of your life. Only most. You make a gesture that’s almost a shrug.

‘Yeah, he can fuck my face,’ you say, because you do know that. ‘Just … should warm up, first.’

Bro stands up. He hits Dave on the chest with his crop, not too hard, just a threat.

‘You are not to come until I say so,’ he says. ‘Want to know how long he can last.’

‘Fuck, okay, yes,’ Dave says. ‘I can … I can control myself.’

You move back to Dave, guide your hand along his leg before you grab him again, like he’s a horse you don’t want to spook. You lick your lips and fit them on the tip of his cock and then slowly guide yourself down. It’s easier now.

‘Okay, this is fine,’ Dave says under his breath. You know he didn’t want to get all babbly in front of Bro, but also know it’s unavoidable when he’s trying to focus. ‘Dirk’s just doing that, that’s happening, you know what else is happening? Uh, sports, probably.’

You ease yourself into a faster pace, you want to make sure he won’t hurt or surprise you when he takes control.

‘I don’t know dick all about sports, I’m sure they’re interesting to people that watch them. They seem to like them. Just a buncha guys, all hanging out, being … skillful. Jesus fucking dicking Christ, this is too much.’

‘Colour,’ Bro demands.

‘Green, oh my god, green, just … tryna keep my cool, cool’s been abandoned at a train station, cool’s gonna grow up without knowing I’m his daddy, holy fuck.’

You pull off and meet his eyes.

‘You wanna take control,’ you ask.

‘Can I have a breather? Or a fucking viagra or something? This isn’t … uh, I’m not inexperienced here, but fuck.’

Bro rolls his eyes and shoves Dave in the shoulder, gets his attention.

‘Viagra helps you keep it up, you ain’t got that problem. You gotta practice this shit. Focus.’ He slaps you on the shoulder with his crop. ‘I’m giving you a week, you better fuckin’ help.’

He steps back and gestures for you to continue. You place your mouth on his dick again and meet his eyes to let him know he can go ahead.

He groans, but moves his hips forward gently. You relax and hum encouragement.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck,’ Dave says, as he increases tempo. You pinch him on the leg, to see if that’ll help, but he doesn’t seem to care. He threads his fingers through your hair, still soft from your shower, and you hum again. The tingly sensation where his fingers dig into your scalp feels amazing.

‘Can’t do it, too good,’ Dave says, slowing to a halt again. His dick is tense and hard, like he’s ready to go off any second. It’s sitting on your tongue like a challenge, you want to make him come but you hold still.

‘You ever had a guy last longer than you could take it?’ Bro asks.

You pull off Dave and look up at him cockily.

‘Got tricks for if I’m getting tired,’ you say.

‘Tricks for you to last longer or him to finish quicker?’

‘For him,’ you say. ‘Had a guy who swore he couldn’t come from oral, said it wouldn’t matter if I did it for two hours, it’d be like edging the whole time. It did take longer than usual, but I got him.’

‘You got 15 seconds,’ Bro says, smirking at you.

You waste two of them staring at him, but then you get the message. You sink onto Dave again, swallow around him, pull off to the tip and suck it as you pump him with your hand. You flick your tongue and stroke him how you know he likes it and you’re rewarded when he comes with a low moan. You swallow and sit back.

‘32,’ Bro says.

‘Liar,’ says Dave. ‘18 from when he started.’

Bro stares at Dave for a long minute before he shrugs.

‘Practice,’ he commands before walking back to his bedroom.

‘You’re too good, bro,’ Dave says quietly.

You concentrate on getting dressed. Yeah, you probably need to cool it on the showing off. You don’t want to give Bro anymore incentive than he already has to try and keep you in the business.

Chapter Text

When you’re alone together, you almost always end up on top. Dirk loves it when you force him to give up the control he always has when you’re filming or practicing. A big part of you relishes in every way your private life is different from your porn life. A competitive part of you makes damned sure that you destroy Dirk when you are alone because you can’t give him the upper hand. Can’t let him top you more than you top him.

You shake your head to clear it of these thoughts as you lean on Dirk’s shoulder to watch your latest video. You know he’s probably assessing the shit out of this, finding weaknesses and strengths and filing them away like the freaky computer dude he is. You only watch because you don’t want him watching it alone.

‘Shit, Dave, hot ,’ he says as the camera pans slowly down your body. You’re taking it pretty well, actually, you can take that compliment, but it’s Dirk that holds your attention. When he thrusts into you it’s like he’s dancing, moving to some beat that no one else can hear. You grab an earbud from the desk and put it in your ear. Nope, you can hear it, Bro’s synced up the music nicely. It wasn’t there when you filmed though, you would have remembered. You drop the bud back down. You can watch, but you draw the line at listening. You know you’re obliged to make porn noises, it being a porno, you being the pornstar, but it doesn’t make it any easier to listen to. If you did, you’d end up getting self conscious in the moment, try and edit your own noises. Dirk, of course, is always overthinking shit like this, so having evidence doesn’t phase him.

The Dirk on screen licks his lips and hangs his head and kicks the thrusting up a notch. You grab the earbud again and see that the music is perfectly in time with him, Bro must have mixed this himself. You don’t want to think about how often he would have had to watch the video to pull it off.

Dirk on screen has a beautiful come face and then he’s dragging you back and you remember filming this, how he picked you up like you weighed nothing, even though you know he’s useless after he orgasms and then your back is to his chest, with you on top as he pumps your dick fast and hard. Your face mirrors his eerily as you come. You … should be more disturbed by that.

You exit the window and turn the monitor off as soon as the video finishes. Dirk spins in the chair to give you a cross look.

‘You don’t need to read what they’re saying, you already know it all.’

‘Well, that’s just not true,’ he says.

You raise a cocky eyebrow at him and fall back onto the bed.

‘Don’t try and distract me,’ he says.

‘What, am I being distracting?’ you ask, lifting a knee up to lean on it. You watch him as his eyes linger over your body. God, it’s satisfying.

‘No, look, see I was still using the computer, you can’t just do that.’

‘You were done,’ you say with confidence. ‘And I just watched a pretty fucking steamy video, how about you come over and take care of this for me?’ You cup your dick gently.

He smirks at you and leans back in his chair like you’re putting on a show for him. Like you haven’t just done that, even if it was past Dave.

‘Come on,’ you say. ‘I want to fuck you into the mattress.’

If you didn’t know him so well, you wouldn’t have noticed any change in him, but this is your brother. You know what interested looks like on Dirk. You hold your hand out to him and he takes it without hesitation. You pull him back so that he lands on top of you and then roll so you’re on top.

‘Fuck, Dirk, you’re so fucking hot,’ you murmur.

He rolls his neck back and you give him wet sucking kisses, moving down his throat to his collarbone before you can leave any marks that will last more than a couple of hours. He shudders and flinches away after only a few kisses, his neck is frustratingly ticklish, but so fucking kissable. You use your hand to hold his face still as you give him one last bite after the tickles set in just so he knows you’re still in charge. He can’t quite suppress a giggle and you love it because he’s never sounded remotely like that to anyone that isn’t you.

You chuckle as you move down his chest, shifting his tank top aside so you can kiss and stroke his skin. You pull it above your head as you reach the bottom of his ribs and he pulls it the rest of the way off.

‘Jesus fucking Christ, Dave,’ he whispers.

You bite at his hips and he squirms under you, caught between ticklish and turned on. You hold his gaze as you slide your fingers under his waistband, teasingly close to pulling his jeans off. You have the button off with the quickest touch of your left hand, while your right hand ghosts so lightly over his dick. Holy fuck he’s hard. You love teasing him like this, it takes fucking nothing to get him worked up.

You rub your cheek at him through his boxers and his hands flex, caught between wanting to rip his pants off and leave you to it. You decide not to drag this out as much as he would. He’s such a tease sometimes. You pull his pants down and take his cock into your mouth immediately. You can’t deep throat like he can. That first time he took you completely by surprise, just no warning, all of a sudden dick completely in Dirk, and he’s only gotten better since then. He told you he was kind of out of practice, but every time that he goes down on you now he shows less hesitation, needs less warm up time before he’s encouraging you to take control, just use his mouth. You can’t do that, you never thought you’d be the one who got too caught up in thinking to be able to relax for sex purposes, but there it is. If he thrusts into your mouth you’re just so sure you’re going to choke or bite him and you just need to stay in control.

You make up the difference with your hand, pumping it in contrast with the sucking you apply to the tip of his dick. When Dirk uses his hand you honestly don’t know whether it or deep throating feels better, both are just overwhelmingly good. You try to replicate the thing he does with his tongue and are rewarded by Dirk bucking up slightly into your mouth.

‘Shit, sorry,’ he says.

You just hum around his dick and he groans in response, his thighs tensing like he nearly thrust up again but caught himself in time. Well, can’t have that. Can’t have self control getting in the way. You want him wrecked .

You suck your way off his dick with a sloppy pop and reach for the always nearby lube. You slick your hand quickly and messily before returning to your job. You lick at his cock as your fingers tease along the crease of his ass. He squirms, always loses control when you come at him with multiple fingers, teasing the edges of him before slipping your first finger inside.

Fuck , Dave, fuck,’ he says.

You take your mouth from his dick long enough to tell him, ‘In a minute,’ and go back to business.

There’s nothing more satisfying than the way you pull him apart. Well, the actual sex part will argue with that claim, but god damn you love this power you have over him. You are uncomfortably hard, pressing up into your jeans, and you’ve made the mistake of going for the fully naked/ fully clothed power play again, which is awesome until you have to strip like a madman when he’s ready for you to fuck him.

You pull the hand that was holding his dick steady down to your crotch and unbutton, unzip, relieve some of the pressure. You don’t think you can take off your pants with one hand, not without fucking up the rhythm you have going here. You’re three fingers deep in Dirk and he’s panting in a very attractive way, arching his back like that will do anything, like it will keep him from moving his hips. You press down with your mouth and back up, your own newb version of deep throating where you just go as deep as you can for one beat and then pull off again before you gag. It’s getting easier. If you turned around into 69 position you could probably sustain it for several thrusts, it’s an easier angle to take it, but you’re impatient for “the full sex” now and that’s what you’re doing.

Jesus fucking Christ but when he tenses around your fingers it’s the hottest fucking thing.

Dave ,’ Dirk breathes.

You look up, make eye contact and he’s begging you with his eyes.

Not good enough.

You bob down and then up, taking as much as you can, keep eye contact.

‘Fuck, please, you’ll make me come, please, fuck me,’ Dirk says.

You bob once more, just because you can and then pull off. You pull your pants off and slick your cock. Dirk watches with lust-filled eyes and then tugs your shirt off before you go to line up. You let him. You like the skin to skin contact as much as he does.

You push up against his hole.

‘So ready for you,’ you tell him. ‘Make me so hard ,’ you push in, slowly, even though he can take it faster. ‘So hot, fuck.’ You push in deeper and every millimeter tingles up your spine, right up to your scalp, the best kind of pleasure. ‘Dirk, love you.’

You’re balls deep in him when he recovers his voice.

‘Fuck, Dave, love you too, so good, holy shit,’ he says all at once. ‘Move, you fucking …’ he gasps. ‘ Fuck , Dave.’

You thrust slowly at first, just enjoying the sensation, but he is miles ahead of you, worked up by your mouth and fingers and he’s thrusting up to meet your dick like that’s going to make you pick up the pace. It kinda does. Oh, fuck, but he feels amazing.

He grabs at your side, at your ass, slaps and digs in his nails, encourages you faster. The small spikes in pain feel like pleasure when you’re like this, just different kinds of intensity. You slam into him and in a moment of clarity worry that you’ve gone too hard but he’s moaning underneath you so you do it again, shift your position so you can sustain the speed, the roughness.

You meet his eyes, look into them, and he wraps his fingers in your hair and holy shit that feels good, it’s like your whole scalp is tingling with sensation and it’s all going to your dick. You lean closer, feel his cock brush against you with every thrust and he moans, shoves his other hand in between you to pump at it.

God, but he’s so hot when he stops caring. When his breaths get frantic and he can’t think about anything but you. You feel a surge of possessiveness, you want to own him, completely, want him to come for you, want him to just be yours.

‘Nggh, fuck, Dave, close,’ he says, and you get butterflies. You lean your foreheads together and keep to a steady rhythm, you know that close means keep going exactly as you are and don’t change.

Fuck …’ he breathes and then he’s clenching down on you and you’re coming too. You thrust through both your orgasms, slowing down, drawing the sensation out until it’s almost painful. You moan into his shoulder and some tiny corner of your mind thinks to be a little embarrassed, even though it’s just Dirk. You let yourself relax on top of him and he hugs you while you recover.

‘Dave,’ he says after a while. ‘Work with me here, at least move to the side of the bed so the wet patch isn’t in the middle.’

You make a vaguely assenting noise and force yourself up. You move in sync until your legs are off the bed and you pull out. You sigh and reach for the tissues. You clean up as much as you need to and then flop back into bed. Dirk immediately sneaks under your arm and onto your chest. You give a tired laugh at his clinginess and kiss his hair.

‘Needed that,’ he says.

‘What’s stressing you,’ you ask.

He huffs a big sigh, which means that he’s been overthinking shit and you didn’t pick up on it. You stroke his hair rather than dwell on that.

‘Just, we need to do one more video, just the one and we can make it, but if we did four more, we’d be set … if we did more …’

‘You don’t know how much further you want to take this,’ you say.

‘Yeah. It’s not fucking worth it if we don’t make some fucking money.’

You give a little snort of laughter and squeeze his shoulders.

‘Fuck this whole situation, obviously,’ you say. ‘But I’m still glad it happened. And I can put up with four more, if that’s the magic number.’

He shifts so he can look you in the eyes. It’s incredibly distracting. You love his eyes.

‘We can walk free after the next one, that’s bare minimum,’ he says.

‘If you say four more, I’ll do four more,’ you say.

He frowns at you, but his body relaxes.

‘It’s not like it’s some huge punishment,’ you say casually. ‘I fucking love having sex with you.’

Dirk snorts a sarcastic laugh.

‘Seriously, dude, I … it’s weird, I don’t like sharing you and Bro’s a fucking nightmare, but … I’m okay.’

He squeezes your waist and you think that’s probably all the answer you need.

 

Bro walks out from his bedroom when you’re sitting watching a movie in the lounge the next day. Your arm’s casually around Dirk and you don’t move it when he comes in. He throws a paper airplane at you and goes to the fridge as if he didn’t do anything. Dirk unfolds it.

New York SEXPO the paper reads.

An expo for the sex stuffs. For porn and toys and everything sex related.

‘You want us to man a booth?’ Dirk says, not moving from his spot under your arm. You kinda love that he doesn’t try to pretend you weren’t snuggling up together.

Sign shit , Bro says with his hands.

‘You’re serious,’ you say.

You’re popular , he says with a shrug.

Dirk holds up his middle finger, the perfect response to Bro using sign language.

‘Give you three grand,’ he says.

Dirk stiffens against you so you maintain your poker face for both of you. You give him a couple of seconds before you decide that you’re the mouthpiece for this conversation.

‘Fine,’ you say. ‘How many days?’

Bro holds up three fingers

‘Fine,’ you repeat.

Dirk nods next to you.

Bro leaves the room.

‘Cool?’ you ask.

Dirk kisses your neck and nods.

‘Wanna go out and use our porn-twin powers for evil after?’ you say.

Dirk snorts with laughter.

‘You proposing a threesome?’ he asks.

‘I think that’d be hella hot,’ you say.

‘Yeah. Yeah . Sounds good.’

Chapter Text

You’ve never been a fan of crowds. Dave’s worse than you are. Bro’s worse than both of you. But you all cope with the “sexpo”. You and Dave at least get to hang off each other, appealing in your duality, in your twinness. Bro’s alone. As he kinda should be. You wish you could switch off your empathy where he’s concerned. He coerced his brothers into porn when they were still underage, not even mentioning the rest of the shit he’s put you through. You shouldn’t be sorry for a guy like that. You’re not .

The days drag when there’s no one at your booth and then speed past when you’re busy. After three days and two nights at the expo, you tell Bro you and Dave are going clubbing on the Friday night.

‘You’re not old enough,’ he says with a smirk.

‘Nope,’ you agree.

His smirk broadens and he hands you his credit card.

‘For the hotel,’ he says.

You give him a cocky salute and walk out hand in hand with Dave with a lot more confidence than you feel. You look at the name on the card. Huh. Your Bro’s name is Derrick. Who knew.

Dave is practically bouncing as you walk out of the exhibition centre. You lead him into the centre of town, releasing his hand, walking in an easy synchronicity. You choose a club with a short line and pay the $10 cover, get your stamp, each of you pretending like you do this all the time.

‘Girl or boy?’ you ask as you move through the crowd.

‘Boy’s fair, for you,’ he says.

‘I could watch,’ you say defensively. Then you’re not sure why you’re arguing. ‘Yeah, actually, boy sounds good.’

He smirks at you and somehow grabs your bum even though he’s in front, leading the way to the bar.

You set up a tab with Bro’s card and order a couple of beers. Dave leads the way to a booth and you scope the club, looking for likely guys.

‘Brunette on the floor?’ Dave says, pointing not-quite-discreetly at a guy dancing by himself.

‘Don’t you want to choose someone whose mind we can blow?’ you ask. That guy is way too hot and he knows it.

‘Gotta be able to keep up,’ he says.

You hum in acknowledgement and keep scanning.

‘Oh, Asian at the bar,’ you say.

Dave’s head snaps to yours and you point, because it’s worth losing subtlety to be clear about this stuff.

You watch him swallow and know you have chosen well.

‘You sure?’ he says.

‘Dude, he’s hot,’ you say. ‘But he doesn’t know it, so if he’s into this,’ you gesture at the two of you, ‘he’ll fucking die for us.’

Dave watches the guy hungrily, clearly into the picture you’ve painted. You slide closer to him, put your arm subtly around his hips. To anyone else it would look like you were just close because the music is loud.

‘Look at him, with his glasses and all done up. We could fucking destroy him,’ you say.

Dave makes a low noise in his throat and you press a quick kiss to his neck. It’s dark, no one knows you’re brothers.

‘We so much as kiss each other, he’ll be ready to come in his pants,’ you say. ‘But he won’t, because that’s a guy who tops, look at him. He’ll want to fuck us, want to have both of us, even as we get it on.’

Dave looks at you with gorgeously blown pupils and it’s like the rest of the club has disappeared.

‘How do we get him?’ he says, eyes on your lips.

‘Can I buy you a drink?’ you say, dropping your voice down to porno growl.

‘Actually,’ says Dave, using his cocky I can beat you in a rap-off voice, ‘can we buy you a drink.’

You smirk, and Dave pulls you in for a kiss. You let him tangle your tongues just barely and then pull away.

‘He’d be mad to refuse us,’ you say.

‘Totally fucking crazy,’ Dave agrees.

You lean on him as you drink your beer, watch the guy closely.

It’s a relief when you see him openly ogle a guy passing by, because you really don’t want to choose someone else when Dave’s so into this. When you finish your beer, you meet his eyes and the two of you move as one. It’s so satisfying to be one half of a whole sometimes.

Dave goes on the left, you on the right. Dave speaks first.

‘Hey,’ he says. ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ He doesn’t wait to get an answer, just holds up two fingers and orders bourbon, tells the bartender ‘Strider’ and then smirks at the guy.

‘Uh,’ the guy says. ‘Okay?’

‘What about me?’ you say, and the guy whips around to stare at you. You keep your face blank, let him do a double take, make the connection.

‘This isn’t happening,’ he says to you.

‘Dirk,’ you say, holding out your hand.

‘Dave,’ Dave says behind him.

The guy steps back slightly so he can look at you both without doing a 180.

‘This isn’t happening,’ he repeats.

‘Aw,’ Dave says, ‘he thinks he’s dreaming.’ Dave moves close to you and rests his head on your shoulder, like he’s swooning.

‘To be fair,’ you say. ‘We’re pretty fantastic.’

Dave smirks at you and turns around to grab the drinks. He hands one to the guy and the three of you stand in a small triangle. You give him a quick smile back before focussing back on the guy.

‘You haven’t told us your name,’ you say gently.

‘John,’ he says.

‘Mmmhm,’ Dave says, ‘nice name.’

‘Jesus Christ, Dave, keep it in your fucking pants for five minutes,’ you say.

John stares at you both, wide eyed behind his glasses.

‘Sorry,’ you say. ‘Want us to back off?’

‘No!’ John says.

You and Dave exchange a satisfied look.

‘Uh, I mean! It’s nice to meet you, I’m … uh, new in town!’ he says.

‘Aw,’ Dave says. ‘We gotta show him the ropes, Dirk.’

‘And the chains,’ you say, before you can stop yourself.

‘Wow,’ Dave says. ‘Did you seriously just tell me to cool my jets?’

‘Sorry, John,’ you say. ‘We’re not from here either, so you know. Why’d you move?’

‘Job!’ he squeaks.

Holy fuck he’s cute.

‘I got a new job!’ he clarifies.

‘What do you do, John?’ you ask.

‘Teach,’ he says. ‘I’m a teacher? For primary school?’

‘Holy fuck, Dirk, you chose so fucking well,’ Dave says.

You chuckle at John, looking to the ground before you make eye contact again. He has gorgeous blue eyes.

‘Sorry, my brother can be … forward,’ you say. ‘Where are you teaching?’

John is quiet for a moment, looking at both of you.

‘I forget,’ he says, after a moment.

Dave reaches for your hand and you give it to him and squeeze. Yeah, you chose well.

‘John,’ Dave says, looking at you first with bedroom eyes that have you moving closer before you realise. ‘Dirk and I were going to find a hotel. Want to come with?’

‘Yes,’ John says. He downs his shot, wincing with his entire face. ‘Yeah, I could come with you to a hotel,’ he says, in a very affectedly casual way.

You step closer, so your leg is brushing his.

‘Just to be clear, you’d be coming along to have sex with both of us,’ you say.

John looks at you helplessly for a moment, before reaching down to grab your hip. He ghosts his breath across your neck.

‘Yeah, sounds good,’ he says, pressing against you.

You meet Dave’s eyes over his shoulder, try to convey that John’s fucking hard against your leg and you’re turned on as hell.

Dave cocks his head to the side and pulls John back to him, wraps him in a kiss.

You watch, transfixed for a moment, before you come to your senses.

You settle the bill, your arm touching John’s back and he’s kissing your brother, your Dave. You honestly thought you’d be more jealous, but you’re just turned on. You tug John away and towards the exit. He looks a bit dazed. Dave looks smug.

You pull out your phone and book a room online while Dave tries to get a banter going with John.

‘It’s because we’re obviously very famous, gotta keep anonymous,’ Dave says.

‘Oh yeah? Famous how?’

‘We’re movie stars.’

‘No way! I know all the movies, Dave, and you are not a movie star!’

‘You know all the movies, do you? All of them?’

‘Aaaaall! Of! Them!’

‘Turn left here,’ you say, interrupting whatever Dave was going to say. ‘Our eyes are photosensitive, John, we’ll ditch the shades when we know there isn’t going to be a sudden shift from dark to light.’

‘Dude, be cool,’ Dave says.

You look up from your phone to poke your tongue out at him ironically, perfectly deadpan. Dave shoves you.

‘You’ll be a movie star one day,’ you tell Dave.

‘Nah, directing’s where it’s at,’ he says.

‘Really?’ you say, unable to keep the curiosity out of your voice. You thought he was going to reject everything Bro related.

He shrugs.

‘Where are we going?’ John asks.

You look back at your phone.

‘Like, a block and a half more and we’re there,’ you say.

‘You getting impatient?’ Dave teases.

‘No!’ John says.

You wrap your arm around Dave’s waist and he automatically puts his arm around your shoulders.

‘I think he’s getting impatient,’ you say to Dave.

‘Jeez! You guys are so casual! You must do this all the time!’

‘Well, not this ,’ Dave says.

‘We’re pretty comfortable in ourselves,’ you say. ‘But this is new.’

John looks at you both skeptically.

You smirk at him before pressing a kiss to Dave’s neck. His eyes nearly fall out of his head. Dave stops walking and pulls your chin up for a proper kiss, angling you so your shades don’t clack together. It’s a bit ridiculous how well practiced you both are at avoiding shades, especially seeing as you don’t wear them that much around the house anymore.

‘This isn’t new,’ you say to John, when Dave releases you.

‘Jesus fuck,’ John breathes.

You tug Dave back into walking. You’re nearly to the hotel.

When you walk in the doors, you shove Dave towards John while you check in. When you look back, Dave’s got his arms around John, whispering in his ear while they both look at you. You tilt your head towards the elevator and they follow you.

‘Go on,’ Dave says as the doors slide shut, and John practically launches himself at you.

You catch him and soften the kiss a bit, but he rallies and practically forces his tongue in your mouth. You part your lips and work with him, and when did you get so used to kissing Dave that this feels weird? John’s eagerness is contagious and he’s pressing against you deliciously and it honestly surprises the shit out of you when Dave pushes you both out of the elevator.

‘Um,’ you say.

‘Room number?’ Dave asks.

You wordlessly lead them around the corner and slide the keycard against the lock.

‘Ha, you kissed him silly,’ Dave says. ‘That’s pretty hot.’

‘Shut up,’ you say, closing the door after him.

‘Bet I can do better,’ he says, pressing you into the wall.

‘You can fuck me anytime,’ you remind him. ‘We should see what John wants.’

Dave kisses you deeply anyway and you let him because he’s Dave and you could kiss him forever. He pulls back and kisses you lightly once before turning to look at John.

‘You want in on this?’ he says.

‘Maybe we could even get out of the doorway,’ you say, sarcasm ruined by your voice which has gotten a bit breathy.

Dave grabs your hand and pulls you towards John.

‘Um,’ John says. ‘What do I … how do I …’

‘Who do you want first?’ you ask gently.

‘I can’t choose!’ he moans.

‘Both?’ you suggest.

‘I can have both?’ he says.

‘He’s so fucking cute,’ Dave says.

You pull your shades off and hold your hand out for Dave’s as well. You put them down safely and Dave starts kissing John in your absence. You move in and kiss his neck, up to his earlobe, back down to the edge of his shirt.

‘Take this off,’ you urge, pulling at the hem.

He steps back to take it off and then steps back into your arms. You hum approvingly and start kissing his neck again. You keep pace with Dave, work your way down his chest with gentle kisses and teasing nips. You see a small red mark on Dave’s side where he’s sucked a tiny bruise and wonder what it must feel like to have two people with two different techniques doing this. You both end up on your knees and you look over to Dave to see what he was planning on doing next. He looks back at you and makes a comically sheepish face like he doesn’t know.

‘Sit on the bed, John,’ you say.

See, this is why you always end up taking charge when there are other people around. Dave is indecisive as hell and never plans his sex properly. Which, yeah, is actually incredibly hot in private, but shit, Dave, don’t turn your brain all the way off.

John sits on the bed and you pull his jeans and underwear off.

‘Feeling a bit … can I not be the only naked one?’ John says.

You smirk and turn to Dave so you can undress each other. You move automatically, used to taking it in turns and working smoothly to get naked. Dave gets distracted and starts kissing your chest and you go to roll your eyes at John about it, but he’s watching Dave with huge eyes so you settle for grabbing Dave by the hair and pulling him back.

‘We were kind of in the middle of something,’ you remind him.

‘Yeah, and then I decided to go off script,’ he says with a smirk. ‘You gonna punish me?’

You pull him in to kiss him, keeping your fingers tangled in his hair, digging your nails into his scalp and kissing as deep as you can.

‘Oh my god,’ John says quietly.

You ignore him in favour of kissing Dave some more. Dave starts tracing his fingers lightly over your back, up and down and pressing harder over some spots and barely touching others. It’s incredibly distracting. You force yourself to stop kissing him and turn to John. Dave continues to kiss down your neck and you decide you’re okay with that.

‘What do you want?’ you ask. You force yourself to get control over your voice again, even as you want to melt into a puddle from Dave now gently sucking at your nipple. ‘Who do you want to touch, to touch you?’

‘I’m … can the more gentle one touch me?’ he says hesitantly.

‘That’s you, bro,’ Dave says, biting at your nipple to demonstrate.

Fuck ,’ you say. ‘Yeah, you want me to work you open?’

‘Uh … I don’t know about butt stuff,’ he says.

‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,’ you say. ‘You can just watch, if you want, or I can suck you off while you touch Dave or he touches me?’

‘Yes,’ John breathes.

‘Gotta tell me what, John,’ you say.

‘You … suck me …’

‘Where do you want Dave?’

‘Can I touch him?’

‘Fuck yes,’ Dave says.

‘John, we use a traffic light system. Green means good, keep going, yellow means I’m not sure, pause, talk about this, and red means stop immediately.’

‘Dude, we’re keeping pretty chill, aren’t we?’ Dave says.

‘John doesn’t know if he wants to do anal,’ you say. ‘Everyone has different levels of chill.’ And we don’t fucking judge, you almost add, but you decide to leave that implied.

‘Well you can do whatever you like to me,’ Dave says, leaning back cockily.

You shove him over.

‘Hey!’ he says.

‘John, you understand the system?’

‘Yes,’ he says.

You reach over for your jeans and pull out the condoms and lube from your pockets, throw them on the bed.

‘Get on the bed, Dave,’ you say, shuffling towards John on your knees.

You stroke at John’s ankles kiss at the inside of his knee. He shivers and you cling to his calves. You watch as John and Dave kiss and trace lightly up the back of his legs.

‘Mmm, you guys are so hot,’ you say.

‘He taking his time?’ Dave says quietly to John.

‘He’s killing me,’ John whines into Dave’s shoulder.

‘You want me to help you out?’ Dave says, stroking down John’s chest.

‘I …’

‘I’m getting to it,’ you murmur against John’s thigh. ‘Stick in your own lane.’

‘So get to it!’ John says.

You look him right in the eye as you obediently take him into your mouth, balls deep.

‘Oh my god,’ he says and collapses back onto the bed.

‘He can’t resist a challenge,’ Dave says, lowering himself so that he can continue kissing John. ‘Likes being ordered around, too.’

‘But h-he’s … gah , the one …’

‘That’s been ordering us around? Yeah, he does that. And he fucks like a god damn wizard but he just wants to get fucked, really.’

You pull off John to give Dave a glare. John’s hand is lightly around his cock but you wouldn’t know it the way he’s talking all casual.

‘Dude,’ you say.

‘Don’t stop!’ John says.

You lick a long lazy stripe up his dick before taking just the head into your mouth and sucking.

‘Jesus, it’s different watching him do that to someone else,’ Dave says. ‘John, you gotta let him know if you want to come like this.’

God ,’ John says.

John , focus. You want to come like this or you want him to edge you? You want to fuck us or just watch, you got decisions to make, buddy.’

‘Oh my god, yes …’

‘Do I need to make him stop?’

‘No! No, no, shit, okay. Uhh …’ John moans and you settle into a slow rhythm so he can somewhat concentrate. ‘No, don’t make me come,’ he says.

You hum an acknowledgement and he thrusts up into your mouth.

‘Sorry!’ he says.

‘No, dude, he can take it if you want to do that,’ Dave says.

You hum again, agreeing.

‘Shit, really?’ John says.

‘Yeah.’

John thrusts tentatively and you hold still so you don’t clash the timing. He gains a little more confidence and thrusts again, quicker. You grab his ass and squeeze encouragingly.

‘Dirk, no, stop,’ John says.

You take your mouth off him immediately.

‘Red, yellow or green?’ you say, ignoring how hoarse your voice sounds.

‘Green! I was just too close!’

You smile at him and keep eye contact as you lick your saliva off his dick. It twitches.

‘Jesus, Dirk, give him space to calm down,’ Dave says.

You climb onto the bed with them on the other side of John. Dave leans across John’s chest to kiss you. You moan into his mouth happily.

‘You decide what you want yet?’ Dave asks John. You bite lightly at Dave’s neck.

‘My brain kind of can’t handle all the options,’ he says. ‘I want everything!’

You kiss down Dave’s chest while they figure it out.

‘Come on, you want to fuck one of us more than the other,’ Dave says. ‘We can take a little competition, right?’

You kiss the crease where his leg meets his belly, your cheek nuzzling at his dick.

‘Could I do him while he sucks you off?’ John asks tentatively. It’s pretty cute that he’s still playing shy.

‘Damn, thought I was gonna win that one.’

You laugh against his dick and it twitches against the sensation of your breath.

‘I’m cool with that,’ Dave says.

‘Me too,’ you say, in case that wasn’t clear. ‘You need any more time to cool off?’ you ask, sitting up from Dave.

‘No,’ he says.

‘You want to prep me or?’

‘Dave?’ John says.

‘Yes, part of the team,’ Dave says. ‘Am I doing this quick or slow?’

‘Quick?’

John seems to be responding better to just option a or option b stuff. You climb over him to sit on Dave’s lap. Dave throws a condom at John before opening the lube. You kept being handed these one use packets at the expo.

You kiss Dave as he presses his first finger against your hole.

‘Yes …’ you breathe, leaning your forehead against his.

Dave stares into your eyes as he works you open, finding your prostate almost immediately. You can’t help but rock back on his fingers, you love this part so much.

‘Gorgeous,’ Dave tells you.

‘Yeah,’ John agrees.

‘He’s gonna fuck you good, bro, you’re gonna be so good for him,’ Dave says.

‘Mmm, Dave ,’ you say.

‘Yeah, I got you, you’re so hot, look at you.’

You moan and close your eyes as he teases you open. It doesn’t take long, you’re very used to this.

‘Dave, I’m ready,’ you gasp.

‘Yeah, not giving you up yet,’ he says. ‘Mine, just for a bit longer.’

Fuck .’

You rock back onto him harder, you want more, he’s teasing your prostate with electric strokes and your entrance is tender and wonderful and he’s so good at this.

‘You ready for him?’ Dave asks John, not taking his eyes off you.

‘Yeah,’ John says.

He eases his fingers out slowly and you make a truly embarrassing whine before you can help it. You climb off his lap and onto your hands and knees, facing him.

‘Fuck,’ John says, and then you feel his cock pressing into you slowly.

You always forget how much better it is than fingers until it happens. You wait until John’s all the way in you before you put your mouth on Dave.

‘Ah, Dirk,’ Dave says.

John feels so good in you that you moan around Dave’s dick. Dave leans over and grabs a packet of lube and hands it to you. You look up at him as sarcastically as you can in your current position and he takes the hint and opens it himself. He spreads his legs enthusiastically as you tease his entrance.

And he tried to call you out for being a total bottom before.

There’s something incredibly fucking arousing about being filled from both ends. You’ve noticed it before when you’ve sucked on Dave’s fingers while he fucks you and that was only a fraction of this. It’s almost like breathplay, without all the even Bro says this is too dangerous crap attached. You are really struggling to focus on Dave while John is thrusting in you so nicely and despite this being the most turned on you’ve ever been you think you’re going to last .

Dave is moaning under you and you pull back, swap up your technique a bit. He’s going to last with you.

‘God, I’m close,’ John gasps. ‘I want to come.’

‘Yeah, do it, John,’ Dave says.

‘Dirk,’ John says.

‘I got him, you come, John, let go,’ Dave says.

John shudders over your back and then pulls out.

‘Dirk, you or me, buddy?’ Dave breathes. You suck him all the way to the tip before pulling off.

‘You,’ you gasp. ‘Yeah, want you.’

He slides underneath you and you fumble for the lube.

‘Jesus, fuck, Dave,’ you say as you push into him. He wraps his legs around you as you pump into him.

‘Love you,’ you whisper in his ear.

‘Yes, Dirk, love you too,’ he moans.

Your whole body heats up with embarrassment because John is so close and he doesn’t care and holy shit you’re coming, do you have some kind of kink?

‘Fuck,’ you say.

Dave reaches between you and tugs roughly at himself.

He groans as he comes all over the two of you.

‘Dirk, fuck, you’re useless , Jesus Christ, where did your bones even go?’

You mumble wordlessly into his shoulder.

‘Ha, John, gimme a hand, help me roll him off me.’

You groan and pull yourself up before John takes Dave seriously. You’re not that bad.

You manage to get yourself clean before you fall asleep, anyway.

Chapter Text

Dirk falls asleep almost immediately after cleaning himself up. You grin at John and it’s kind of nice to have someone to share this with.

‘You wanna take a shower?’ you say.

‘Yeah, that sounds amazing,’ John says, looking down at himself.

You love hotel showers. They’re always ridiculously big. You and John haggle over the right temperature for a bit before it’s somewhere that both of you are happy with. It’s probably the same temperature you used to use before you started showering with Dirk, who would happily take a dip in a volcano. You find yourself smiling a lot more than usual with John, it’s just fun with him. He doesn’t know who you are but he likes you and he’s dorkily charming and you really like kissing him. He looks really different without his glasses, which doesn’t make sense because you shouldn’t have gotten used to that so quickly.

‘So, you don’t live here,’ he says, when you stop kissing him to start soaping him up instead.

‘Nah, Houston,’ you say.

‘Oh … that’s far …’

‘Yeah, literally a 24 hour drive. And my insane brothers don’t believe in stopping on the way.’

‘What? You just stay up and drive the whole way?’

‘Yeah, they gave me the first shift so I didn’t fall asleep on the wheel, and I swear neither of them bothered to sleep while they weren’t driving. And then Dirk tries to stay awake and be functional when we get here, swear to god, I don’t know what I would do with him if he didn’t pass out after sex.’

‘What’s your other brother like?’

You can’t fight your grimace.

‘Older. Uh, kinda a survivalist? Batshit insane, to be honest.’

John kisses you and it feels like an apology for bringing him up, even though he couldn’t have known it’s a sore topic.

‘When do you leave?’

‘Well, we’re going to Massachusetts tomorrow. Dirk and I are moving there in a couple months, need to find a place, want to get a feel for the land, you know.’

‘Wow, that’s a big move!’

You nod and focus on the feel of John’s body under your hands, all slick from soap.

‘Why are you moving?’ he asks.

‘Ah … college, actually,’ you say. You’re only not making eye contact because you’re focussing very hard on the extremely important job of making sure that John is very clean.

‘Oh,’ John says. ‘Did you … How ... I guess I just assumed you were my age because we met in a bar …’

‘We’re 18,’ you tell his knees. God, you’re a coward.

‘Oh. I’m 23, so you know.’

You nod.

‘I don’t mind ,’ John says.

You snap your eyes up to his. He’s smiling gently. You like that he smiles so easily.

‘You look so worried!’ he says.

You smile a little. He scoops you up in a tight hug, so tight it forces a little breathless giggle out of you.

‘Bedtime?’ you suggest.

Back in bed you awkwardly compete over who gets to be in the middle. You win, and then instantly regret it because he’s a furnace and Dirk’s a dead weight behind you.

‘So hot!’ you complain.

‘Yeah you are,’ John grins.

‘Shut up.’

You’re quiet for a bit, shuffling around to get comfortable. At least Dirk got a king bed, or this would be impossible.

‘Dave?’ John says.

‘Yeah.’

‘Massachusetts isn’t that far from New York.’

‘Nah, just a few hours.’

‘Could we be friends?’

‘Yeah, dude, that’d be sweet.’

He cuddles up close to you and you protest, only to both freeze when you hear Dirk groan in his sleep next to you. You giggle tiny bursts of air together, like kids staying up past your bedtime. You’re grinning, all close to his face and it’s weird to let your smile out, to not have to mask your emotions all the time. He pulls your face close and kisses you ‘til you’re breathless.

You’re suddenly feeling clingy, like you can’t get close enough to John, like fuck the heat, you’re going to wrap your legs together, grab at his neck, kiss him like you’re drowning and he’s oxygen. When you pull apart, John is still smiling at you, still holding your waist all close.

‘There’s Pesterchum, too,’ you say. ‘Even if we can’t visit, we got the Internet.’

John smiles so wide you worry for his cheeks. You kiss him because you don’t know what else to do.

‘You keep going like that we’re going to need another shower,’ he warns.

‘Want me to wake Dirk up? He’d be down for this.’

John’s eyes widen like he’s forgotten that’s a possibility. Weirdly, you kinda want to keep him to yourself. But no, Dirk is your brother, you share everything, you want him in on this, want him to know how happy John makes you, how glad you are Dirk chose him.

‘I—’ John says.

You inch your thigh closer to John’s crotch and feel how interested he is.

‘You can fuck me this time,’ you say in that tone that drives Dirk crazy.

John apparently likes your voice like that too, rolling on top of you to kiss you breathless.

‘Keen, aren’t you?’ you tease.

John moans and kisses you again.

There’s no way Dirk’s still asleep, he wakes at the drop of a hat, you know he’s just waiting to see if you want him to join in and you love him for that, love him for putting your wants first like he always does and god it’s hot to imagine him pretending to be asleep, but really watching, getting himself off while you get fucked by John. You moan into the kisses.

‘Jesus, fuck,’ you say. ‘You have to fuck me now.’

‘What would Dirk do?’ he breathes as he kisses your neck.

‘Well, I could fuck him, or suck him … or he could fuck you … or he could just touch us both while we fuck, he’d like that. I’d do whatever he needed when we were done, John, I’d get him there, just want you to fuck me.

‘Jesus, Dave,’ he says. ‘Okay, yeah, you can wake him up.’

‘Want to do it together?’ you ask, smirking cheekily at him.

‘What, like?’ he makes a gesture with his hand and mouth and your smirk gets wider.

‘Yeah,’ you say.

He isn’t convinced. You kiss John quickly, and then dive under the covers.

As you expected, Dirk’s dick isn’t as good at pretending to be asleep as the rest of him is. His semi grows into a full-blown erection as you breathe against it. You lick slowly from base to tip, feeling it twitch against you. Dirk’s legs move slightly and you hear the unmistakable sound of kissing. You decide to make it so that Dirk can’t pay attention to John. You suck up and down, ignoring the impulse to swallow the spit you generate, let it spill out of your mouth, run down his dick. You can still feel Dirk leaning away from you, towards John, which convinces you that he’s playing with you, wants you to prove that you’re worth his undivided attention. You suck at the tip of his cock while you stroke the rest of it quickly, then sink down, take as much as you can handle and then back to the tip, back to stroking. Finally you hear Dirk moan, feel his torso straighten out, you can picture him falling back onto the pillow.

‘John,’ Dirk says, and you feel a twinge of jealousy that you pushes into your job, makes you focus on sucking him. ‘Fuck, he’s killing me,’ Dirk says.

‘What do you want?’ John says breathlessly.

‘I don’t even know, John, too good …’ he gasps for breath. ‘What do you want?’

‘Want to fuck Dave.’

‘You and me both … fuck , Dave, chill , would you? John, what do you want from me?’

You hear the sound of kissing and moaning above you. It’s heady, knowing that they both want you even when they’ve got each other. You suck a bit too hard and feel Dirk flinch against you. You make an effort to go a bit softer, a bit sloppier.

‘John …’ Dirk says.

‘Yeah, thinking,’ he says. ‘Okay … Dave, come up here for a sec?’

You obey, crawling up Dirk and resting your head on his chest while you look up at John. Dirk starts to thrust up into you without thinking but gets himself under control. You know he can handle this, is good at getting edged, it’s inevitable in your business.

John looks adorably awkward. You kiss Dirk’s chest so you don’t crawl over him to get to John.

‘I’ve only done anal once,’ he says.

Dirk makes a little ‘hmm’ noise to show he’s listening.

‘I just … you both made it look good …’

‘It wasn’t good for you when you did it?’ you ask.

‘N-not really,’ he says.

You look up at Dirk, not sure if you should say what you want to say without thinking.

‘It’s not for everyone,’ Dirk says, without looking at you.

‘You should let Dirk do it,’ you say.

Dirk whacks you over the back of your head.

‘Ow,’ you say, deadpan. ‘No, seriously, I’d done it like three times before him and it all sucked, figured I was just a top, but he’s magic.’

Dirk hits you again.

You bite his shoulder.

He curls up a little bit and it’s almost enough to make you forget about John, to let the whole thing devolve into your favourite kind of competitive wrestles.

‘Um,’ John says and you stop moving, look back up at him. ‘I get the feeling I could just say “no” and you would just let me,’ he says.

‘Duh,’ you say.

Dirk hits you again.

‘Yeah, we would,’ he says, softer.

‘But … maybe I could give it another go?’

‘John, don’t feel like you have to,’ Dirk says. ‘Just because … I dunno, because we like it, doesn’t mean you have to do anything, we’re good guys, really, don’t push beyond your limits.’

‘Dirk, don’t talk him out of shit,’ you say.

‘I’m going to fucking murder you,’ he says. ‘Honestly, John, it’s been coming on a while, don’t blame yourself, but fucking hell, I’m going to murder my brother, he’s just too much of a dick for me to live with.’

‘Ha, you can take my dick,’ you say, just to be contrary.

Dirk hits you, this time on your ass, and you squeak a bit.

‘So anyway,’ you say, as if you can just move past that embarrassing noise, ‘John, you obviously don’t have to do anything, but you should consider letting Dirk go to town on your ass because he’s fucking good at it.’

‘Well, last time you …’ John hesitates, and it’s so cute that he’s shy talking about this stuff, ‘um … blew me ,’ he whispers, ‘I’m pretty sure I would have let you do whatever you wanted, it was really good.’

‘Yeah!’ you say. ‘That’s what I mean, he’s fucking amazing!’

Dirk leans back on his pillow and puts his hands over his face.

‘So … do that again, please?’ John says.

Dirk looks at you with a cross face, and then at John and he softens.

‘Yeah, okay,’ he says. ‘Dave, watch him, spot me.’

Dirk rolls over onto John, doesn’t bother with the usual warmups, just slides his mouth onto his dick. You moan as you watch, look up to meet John’s eyes. He’s just as turned on as you, probably more so. After all, it’s his dick being sucked. You brush John’s hair back like you did last time Dirk was sucking him off, kiss him. He’s desperate in your mouth, like he can fuck you with his tongue and it will distract him from what your brother’s doing.

‘You’re so hot,’ you tell him.

John moans into your mouth.

You trace patterns into his chest and watch him pant at the ceiling, grip the sheets in his hand.

Dirk reaches out and you slide a packet of lube into his hand. You hear the wrapper tear and then John swear under his breath.

‘He teases,’ you whisper in his ear. ‘He’s edged me for two hours before, wanted to see how long he could deep throat.’

John moans.

‘Yeah, it was fucking hot. His jaw was shaking after but he still got me off, just pushed through it.’

‘Fuck ,’ John says.

You kiss him deeply. You feel him flinch against you and then steady.

‘He in you?’ you ask.

John nods.

‘Fuck that’s hot,’ you say.

John shudders against you at the same time as Dirk moans against him. You kiss at his neck and wait. Dirk always puts in more effort with his mouth right before he finds your prostate. You’re waiting for it to hit John.

You don’t have to wait long. John squeals and arches his back and you know Dirk’s done it. You suck on his earlobe, make eye contact as Dirk eases off.

‘Holy shit,’ John says, wide eyed.

‘Yeah, that’d be why we like it,’ you say. God, he’s adorable.

Dirk makes a sloppy sucking noise on his dick and you moan against his neck. You know what it feels like to be under that.

John jolts again under you and you feel a surge of pride in Dirk. He’s so good at this.

‘Fuck, Dave ,’ John sighs.

‘I know, John, I know,’ you say.

‘S’like, can’t focus on his fingers ‘cause his mouth, then ...’ he moans.

You grin and scratch your nails along Dirk’s head like he likes.

‘Oh my god, oh my god, holy fuck, oh my god,’ John says.

‘He got you good,’ you say. You kinda wish you could do this to him, wish it was you bringing him to a shudderey mess, but you know how to delegate, know how Dirk feels, know John wants to fuck you at the end of this and you’re ready for this, you are fucking on board .

Dirk moans again, the kind of moan he makes on set and you reach down to grab his hair and tug, get him out of his head, try to force him to stop performing. He just groans louder and you think he’s really enjoying this, enjoying that he doesn’t have to keep quiet for fear of being recorded and it’s fucking delicious the way John squirms underneath him and this might be the hottest thing you’ve ever experienced.

John’s hand slaps onto your thigh and grips , holds you tight and you can feel how turned on he is, how worked up Dirk has him. God, you want to fuck him, want him to fuck him, want something .

You rut against his leg, kiss him, grab Dirk’s hair, grind against John desperately. You meet eyes with Dirk and he holds up two fingers, takes you a minute to realise what he’s telling you, that he’s two fingers deep in John. You grin at him and bend to suck at John’s nipple. He’s so helpless between you, it’s unspeakably hot the way he’s into this. His legs are shaking with arousal while he leans back into your hands and swallows down enthusiastic noises.

Dirk holds up three fingers and John moans at the same time. You think Dirk’s showing off. He can’t really help it. He’s competitive as fuck. It’s amazing. You remember the first time he deep throated you, Bro right there and he just sank down balls deep to prove he could. He’s constantly trying to get the better of you, always taking control in the videos because he knows what works, because he knows what looks good, what sounds good. You’ve watched those tapes back, seen the way you can see your dick in his throat, the way it bulges, the evidence of him taking it deep, encouraging it. You know he’s probably teasing John’s prostate with expert fingers, making it so John will be begging for what he was really unsure of only a couple of hours ago.

John grabs you by the neck, pulls you in, kisses you with a desperate tongue. You melt into him, feel Dirk’s hand on your leg as you move closer, feel them both, so warm, so nice.

Dirk pulls off John with a noise that you know is sloppy by design and you’re turned on by anyway.

‘You want me to get Dave ready, too?’ he says.

‘Yes,’ John gasps, ‘Oh, fuck, yes, want him.’

You moan nicely as Dirk move his hand up your leg, then down again.

You whine, frustrated by the promise.

You hear the rip of plastic and force yourself to relax, you know what he’s doing, that’s the sound of lube. He’s gonna let John fuck you, he’s so good, best brother.

‘John, help me out here, I only have two hands,’ Dirk says.

‘What?’

‘Be a dear and grab my brother’s cock?’

‘Oh,’ he says, and he reaches down and obeys.

You feel Dirk’s fingers slick against your entrance and then he’s pushing in. He leans forward to take John in his mouth again, and you’re a bit blown away by how he’s multitasking. Like, you knew he was ambidextrous, but this is impressive.

You also know he doesn’t need to go slow on you, it’s barely been an hour since his dick was in you, you can take more than this tentative teasing, but he probably has to keep it slightly similar to how he’s doing John so he doesn’t forget to be gentle.

John’s hand is fucking delicious on you, he can’t keep his focus well and that’s hotter, there’s no consistency, you can’t predict the speed and he squeezes you randomly and you just want more .

‘Ah …’ John moans. ‘I’m getting close.’

Dirk’s fingers still inside you and then he takes them out slowly. He sits up and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

‘What do you want?’ he asks quietly. ‘You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.’

John bites his lip and leans up on his elbows.

‘I still don’t know …’ he says.

‘Then we won’t do it. You didn’t sign a contract. Dave wants you to fuck him, anyway.’

‘Dude,’ you protest.

‘You do,’ Dirk says, as if it’s obvious.

‘That sounds really good,’ John says. ‘Are you sure …’

‘John, if anyone ever is uncool with you changing your mind, you punch them in the face as hard as you can, you hear me? Now hurry up and fuck my brother, I want to watch.’

John smiles sheepishly at you and you decide not to let him think too hard about that anymore. You straddle his lap.

‘This okay?’ you say.

‘Yes,’ he breathes. He’s looking at you like you’re precious, it’s very distracting.

You bend down to kiss him before easing down on his cock. He doesn’t let you stay in control for long, picking you up and flipping you so he’s on top after only a few minutes of grinding. He’s fucking relentless, it’s amazing.

You grip at his hips and encourage him with moans. You turn your head and see Dirk sitting there, watching, stroking himself. You hold your hand out and he twines your fingers together. You cling to them both as John rocks you to orgasm.

He stills soon after.

‘Okay, now we really have to sleep,’ John says with a little laugh. You wrap your arms and legs around him and give him a friendly hug before letting him go so he can pull out.

You fall asleep holding Dirk’s hand with John’s arm around your waist and it just feels really nice. You are not letting John just disappear.