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The Final Showdown

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«Has it already started ? Did I miss anything ? » Gook suddenly appeared next to Deridovely. He was out-of-breath, obviously in a hurry to not be late for their… show. Many annoyed eyes looked at him before focusing back on the hole leading to the human world.

« No, we’ve been here for ten minutes and they are still on the car. When was the confrontation supposed to happen ? Ryuk said at 12. Or was it 1 ? » Deridovely asked.

Gook shrugged before he slid his grotesque figure between Deridovely and Zellogi – the last one groaned a little but accepted to move just enough for him to sit down. Through the hole in front of him, he saw Light Yagami, the human who became a super-star in the Shinigami Realm – not that the dude knew that, really.

At first, no one cared about Ryuk’s expedition in the human world – he was a little strange, and Gook strongly disliked their exhanges : he always had the feeling Ryuk was mocking him in a way or another, and enjoyed being alone, which wasn’t something he could understand: being a god of death was so boring, the only distractions they had were gambling and joking with the others.

Well, Ryuk had found something to busy himself with. When his human started to kill a lot of people, hundreds, thousands, there was a wave of panic through the Realm : what if the human killed everyone ? According to the rules, they couldn’t kill Yagami, but that was a life or death situation. Sidoh and Zellogi even started to elaborate a petition against the human, and intended to deliver it to the King, but…

… well, Nu had explained that there were a lot of humans, more than they imagined, really, and that Yagami didn’t threaten their lives at all. Alright. He still decided – with a couple of others – to stick around just in case.

And it was super-enteraining ! Everyday they just spend hours watching the fight between Ryuk’s human and the other one who tried to stop him. Why he tried to stop him wasn’t clear for Gook. There were many theories going around ( Midora claimed it was because the other one was jealous of Yagami’s hair which was a possibility ) but none of them gave him satisfaction. The other guy wasn’t popular in the Realm, but he was an entertaining antagonist for Yagami, and most of them ended up liking him, in a way. When Midora, worried that this guy could defeat Ryuk’s human, suggested to kill him herself, Zellogi swore to obliterate her if she dared.

And anyway Rem killed him.

Oh well.

The show had been a little boring – all shows tends to have a less action-packed moment – until a pair of new guys showed up. This time, it was more obvious why they tried to kill Ryuk’s human : it was a game between them. If there was something Shinigamis understood, it was games. For a couple of weeks, there was a betting pool on who should be the one to stop Yagami, and even the constitution of ‘teams’ with T-shirts and merchandising on the side.

Yes, they were bored.

But then one the dude had died, and the Shinigamis had been pissed. Calikarcha even stopped watching – though he still kept on with the events by bothering the shit out of everyone ( mostly Gook ). Some of his fans rallied the other guy’s fan, some of them just wanted everyone to die because how could the show keep going without their favorite ?

And now, here they were. The final showdown. The moment of truth. Well, if the show decided to get on with it instead of stalling. Not that they have something else to do, but still.

« That’s pretty ugly » Midora commented. « For a final settling I mean. »

« You’re ugly » Deridovely said, his eyes still focused on the hole.

« I’m sorry, but did I ask ? »

« Will you shut up ? » Gook said. « I can’t hear anything ! »

I’d like to wait for one hour… no, make it thirty minutes.

The little human said what ?

« Tss » Calikarcha mumbled, far away he could pretend he wasn’t watching but close enough to actually watch and more important – comment. « And that’s your favorite ? At least M would have made a good show ! That’s what happens when you pick a likable character over a well-written one – the most boring finale ever. »

« Oh, shut it ! » Midora said. « It wouldn’t matter, anyway ! Ryuk’s human is going to win. »

Deridovely looked at Gook triomphaly. Betting against him and against Yagami may have been a mistake. He glared at Midora.

« And how do you know that ? » Gook asked, trying to see if her sources had to be taken seriously or not.

« Well, Sidoh told me that… »

Gook stopped listening and snickered. Right. Sidoh spent four days in the human world and came back, cackling all the other place, pretending to know everything that happened ‘behind the scene’ and that he knew what would happen. But it was Sidoh. Come on.

He was happy to see that Deridovely had lost his smile. Good.

The humans started to talk again and the Shinigamis stopped bickering.

« Oooooh » Zellogi said. « Looks like Sidoh was wrong on that. The little human has a good plan. »

« What do you mean good plan ? It’s full of loopholes ! Once he realized that half of the notebook is replaced, he will just write their names in the previous pages ? What even is this strategy ? I hope he loses ! » Calikarcha complained.

« Ryuk’s human is smilling, just saying » Midora said. « I think he wins. »

« See ? It was a stupid plan ! »

They fell quiet for a moment, and saw the next events unfold, letting out some surprised gasps or cynical snickers from time to time. It was a little confusing : the general consensus was that Yagami was loosing at the end ( Grook was going to win his bet, so that was great to know ) but he was laughing. Did human laugh when they lost ? Maybe, they could be weird like that.

« He didn’t lose » Deridovely said. « I’m sure he can get out of this. »

« Yeah, right, keep saying yourself that ». Gook wouldn’t let his friend manage to declare a draw on their bet. He knew his sneaky ways, it wouldn’t work this time.


Most of them jumped at the sound and Midora sighed. Guns. Right. It wasn’t the most powerful weapon the humans had – they had bombs and big cars that could roll over stuff - but it was so damn loud. In Gook’s opinion, humans’ wars stopped being fun once they created guns. Ah, the good old times when they had to fight with spears and swords. That was some quality entertainment there.

« If this guy shoots Ryuk’s human that does count as a loss, okay. No ‘it’s not the white one who shot him’ contestation. » Gook warned.

« He isn’t going to shoot him to death » Midora sighed. « Look at his life-span. I bet the little guy will kill him with the Death Note. That would make sense ! »

« This guy doesn’t have the guts to use the Death Note » Calikarcha said. « If M was… »

« SHUT IT ! » everyone else yelled at him.

Calikarcha frowned and started to mumble inintelligible words that didn’t seem very nice nor polite. Oh well.

They watched how Yagami was losing most of his dignity and begging Ryuk to help him. Zellogi laughed at that : Ryuk was just as likely to help a human than to giving up on apples.

« Are you kidding me ? » Gook whined when Ryuk accepted Yagami’s supplications. « It doesn’t count if Ryuk does it, okay ? »

« Yes it does count, suck on it, loser ! » snaped back Deridovely. « He is Ryuk’s human, if he kills everyone, Yagami wins. »

« That’s some Deus ex machina bullshit right there, I swear I won’t watch this show anymore if that’s what happens. »

But then Ryuk stopped writing in his notebook and showed the name on it : Light Yagami. Gook stood up and let out victorious screams as the rest of the Shinigamis watched the rest of the scene unfold.

« What ? » Deridovely said. « Ryuk killed his human ? That doesn’t make any sense, why would he do that, that bastard ? Anyway you can’t say the little guy won if Ryuk is the one who killed Yagami. »

« Hum, I’m sorry, I can’t hear your hypocrisy over my victory, dear friend. You lost. What did you say already ? Suck on it ? »

« I can’t believe it’s already over » Midora complained. « Ryuk is such a spoil-sport. I almost wish he killed everyone, it would have make a neat finale. Now it’s going to be boring but I still want to know what happens to everyone else ? This girl Gelus is dead for ? »

« Who cares about her ? » asked Gook.

« I do. Do you think because she is a female she has a lesser entertaining potential ? »

« I’m so not going there. »

Gook stretched and looked at the hole leading to the human world. Six years they had spend watching the drama unfold. It was both long and so, so short for a Shinigami, he had wanted for it to end and now wanted for it to come back.

They would have to do it again. How hard could it be, sneaking a note behind the King’s back ? Pretty hard – uh. Oh well.

If they had one thing, it was time, after all.