Words, so unadulterated and pleasant, rolled of the tongue like a river streaming smoothly across a forest bed.
"...someday, I want to get old and die with Onii-san. We'll never get separated, promise?"
The meaning was never fully understood at a tender age yet, the words clung tightly like a child to his mother.
And where did those words bring us?
Ten years has passed.
Memories of that fateful night still hold onto me like a vivid nightmare.
I saw fire, raging like an unstoppable storm.
Screams, shouts, and cryings rose like the trumpets of apocalypse.
Shards of shattered glass and motionless bodies lying on puddles of blood under the eerie full moon.
And silver eyes. Silver eyes, fearful and fragile as they searched for its own flesh and blood. Tiny hands that sought for life from three more pairs. Words in a silent scream rising and failing in tears before Death took everything away.
Death stole me away from him...and it was also Death and a blue butterfly who let me live in a world without his existence.
I will never forget...
It will be fine. They told me. You are a strong woman. You can do it. They said. I tried to believe them. It was only for a year. I convinced myself. I am strong. I have to be strong.
And never falter.
Disregard your own feelings for their sake. Let the color of silver paint the room, untouched by anything but black and white. Over and over again.
I am such a liar.
I tried to be cheerful, to be upbeat, to be optimistic. I took on everything that was handed to me. I have to be reliable. I have to be trustworthy. I have to look as if nothing fazes me. In their eyes, I am the strong and courageous field leader, the queen of the school, the ultimate rival, the kind and reliable friend, the genius of the class...I am everything and anything. My essence is what they all lack and what they pursue.
Be the one they will look up to.
A cycle, looping me endlessly in chains of silver and a world of blood and death.
You are not the one to blame.
Sincerity took my burden.
For the first time in many agonizing years, I found myself doing what I wished for.
Yet I kept holding on these masks, on this shell.
Afraid of this fragility, of this taste of freedom, of this new hope.
I do not want to feel pain...
I wanted to see you.
The same thing I was forced to do to you.
The merciless promise that broke us apart.
The room melted into a puddle of silver.
On my hand lies salvation.
Sincerity, dead as it has always been, broke into shattered pieces.
The chains wrapped around me in cruel glee, mocking me, torturing me.
You cannot save the one you call a friend.
A friend cut through the chains.
His hand offered me promises - happiness, sincerity, and love.
From where the silver painted itself, now drips an eerie shade of blue.
I cannot stay.
But from where there is light, there is shadow.
He is shadow, a monstrosity that locked me away in a world of illusions.
Why did you have to do this?
Are you here to take me away once again from those that I loved?
Black and white danced under the moonlight, painting everything in cold silver.
Its grip choking me, forcing me to watch everything perish in oblivion.
Soon...I will find the Answer to Life.
Death will never again touch us.
Just as the blue butterfly promised.
I will see you again in a place we can call ours.
I will be waiting...
I made my decision.
I will fight.
I will live.
The tears she had shed...
The words he had screamed...
The one wish they all had made...
I hear them. I feel them.
Now's the time.
This is the end.
My time is near.
Like a dying flame, I will be gone.
Yet, I am not afraid.
I see them.
I feel warm, not cold. I am weak, yet strong.
Yes...they can, too.
Before me lies a golden door. He was standing before it. His eyes full of sorrow and disgust to himself. I wrapped my arms around his waist, taking in everything one last time.
"It was not your fault." I reassured him. "It was never your fault to begin with."
"I'm sorry..." He said. His voice quivering in regret. I pulled his head down and pressed his forehead on mine. He was more human than I could have ever gifted him for. More than I could ever be.
He pulled away. "This is goodbye. I am glad I have met you, my dearest."
I smiled fondly. "And so did I, Ryoji. I wished you all the happiness."
He gripped my hand one last time. Words of bittersweet love that I never had the opportunity to answer were left unsaid. The door creaked open and light spilled out. The blue butterfly took my hand and whisked me toward the promised end.
Soon...I will get to see you again.
Death was not the end, but the beginning.
Eternity awaits...and I know we will never be apart again.