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Love And Sex

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            Chachamaru still remembered the day he had first caught Yoshiki's attention and as always it made him smile. He'd been working with Toshi at the time, practising his part alone on the stage before that night’s live, when Yoshiki had walked in to see his friend. His eyes had fallen on him with surprise that turned to pleasure as he watched Chachamaru play for just a few moments before Toshi appeared from the back, where he had been eating lunch. He smiled at his friend and former band mate and Yoshiki had been quickly escorted into the back, glancing over his shoulder one last time as he did so. Their eyes met and in that moment the guitarist knew the drummer had liked what he had just seen.

            Perhaps ten minutes later. Chachamaru put his guitar down and went into the back taking a seat. smiling as Toshi introduce him before going back to his happy commentary on how much the drummer was going to love this performance. Yoshiki was smiling and teasing his friend but his gaze kept swaying back to the guitarist who was pretending like he was just eating his lunch. though his heart raced in the excitement caused by such a huge celebrity noticing him.

            Yoshiki went away after they had eaten. promising he'd be back later to watch the live and Chachamaru was almost relieved. It'd be much easier to work now the blond was gone and so offering the stressed-out vocalist his support. everything continued without anything more than the smallest of problems.

            Chachamaru had almost forgotten about Yoshiki's presence in the crowd when he went on stage, and he had performed three songs before he spotted the drummer on the balcony that had been sealed off for him and those he had chosen to surround him. Heath was there too. though it seemed the rest of X must have been busy or seeing Toshi at later dates. Still it was nice that X still supported each other and Chachamaru flashed a smile up at the two men. bemused when Yoshiki blew him a kiss.

            Chachamaru had to all but physically force his head down to return his gaze onto Toshi's fans and feeling the blond’s eyes on him. he began to show off, truly enjoying himself on the stage as the excitement swept over him. There was nothing like performing for a crowd and when that crowd contained Yoshiki and Heath it was even more thrilling.

           

            Waving goodbye to the fans. Chachamaru left the stage letting the others fight over the shower as he sat beside Toshi. waiting for Yoshiki and Heath to make their way to join them. It didn't take them long before they were both congratulating Toshi for his performance.

            “You were amazing too.” Yoshiki spoke up. turning his gaze onto Chachamaru who smiled happily.

            “Still not quite X Japan standard.” He said, almost apologetically but the three men were staring at him with looks that made it clear they all thought he was insane to think that.

            “No, you're a legend.” Yoshiki scolded.

            “I wouldn't quite go that far.” Toshi commented, sharing a bemused look with Heath as the drummer got up and began to whisper something into the guitarist’s ear. Chachamaru blushed then looked pleased, accepting Yoshiki's hand.

            “Yeah guys, we're going to go.” Yoshiki announced to the two men familiar with his ways. They looked at him bemused and he winked before leading Chachamaru to his car and opening the door for him. All he had suggested was they got drinks alone but his tone made it clear he expected more.

            “I bet you know all the fanciest of bars.” Chachamaru commented, smiling at the drummer as he drove off without bothering with his seat belt, clearly defiant when it came to his own safety.

            “Oh yes, you've been hanging out with Toshi, he likes his alcohol cheap,” Yoshiki replied clearly amused at the vocalist’s tastes. “Beer in private rooms of clubs or bars. I'm a cocktail man myself.”

            “I can tell.” Chachamaru replied, understanding what Yoshiki was hinting at. “And if we really were discussing drinks, I’d have to favour Toshi's choice but that's not what we're talking about is it? I kind of want a cocktail. Something expensive and exotic filled with mystery and so much sex appeal I could just melt.”

            “I have that at my hotel.” Yoshiki commented, resting his hand on Chachamaru's leg as they pulled up at a red light. His gaze moved off the road and with the confidence of a man never rejected, he planted a kiss on Chachamaru's lips sliding his tongue into the eager mouth and kissed the guitarist until the car behind began to honk at him for not pulling off at the green light.

 

            It was five years since that night and though Yoshiki hadn't wanted anything serious to come of their time together Chachamaru didn't mind. It was a cherished memory and he had never expected things to become serious, no matter how much he secretly wanted then too. For the most part he kept the memory locked away but sometimes it was dragged to the surface by loneliness or daily events, that in tonight’s case was Gackt's drunken rambling.

            “Yoshiki is so beautiful.” Gackt sighed as he stared at the magazine and then up at Chachamaru with a look that he recognised. It had been the exact same look Yoshiki had thrown at him as he had watched him perform on that fateful night and though this time the lust wasn't aimed at him, he couldn't help but feel like it was. Gackt was stunning, beautiful even, and Chachamaru would be a liar if he said he had never masturbated to thoughts of him. It wasn't something he did regularly, it wasn't a crush or love, just simple sexual attraction where friendship and feelings didn't even factor.

            “He is.” Chachamaru agreed ,glancing over at the picture with a sad smile.

            “I wish...” Gackt began before going silent as he remembered such things weren't said in public. “You know once I dreamed of being him. Back when I was a drummer. I wanted to surpass him, take his throne. I never will now.”

            “You can get a crown of your own.” Chachamaru replied with little sympathy. Gackt was already an A-Lister with a solo career that was proving he could be popular without Malice Mizer. There was no reason to pity Gackt's failed dream.

            “Mine is silver, not gold,” Gackt replied. “With a dragon with Onyx eyes.”

            “Tell me you don't really own a crown?” Chachamaru almost begged, wishing You was here to help him with Gackt's ego. He had thought it would be fun to be with Gackt alone but he was beginning to wonder now.

            “No. No crown,” Gackt promised. “But you hung out with Toshi. Did you ever meet Yoshiki?”

            “A few times.” Chachamaru admitted with a sigh, as he knew what was coming next. After that night he had seen Yoshiki around, they'd been friends and polite to each other but it was clear the drummer had got all he wanted from him and was on the prowl for his next conquest. At such times Toshi had looked worried, knowing what had happened but Chachamaru had remained calm and collected and told himself he didn't care that to Yoshiki he was nothing but a one-night stand.

            “Do you have his number. I want a date.” Gackt announced, in such a manner any answer other than yes would be wrong.

            “I have Toshi's. He'd have it,” Chachamaru replied. “But Gackt, I don't really want to give it to you.”

            “Why ever not?” Gackt asked confused. Why would Chachamaru not want to help him attain the drummer’s beautiful sexy ass?

            “Yoshiki and I slept together once,” Chachamaru said, a little ashamed to admit this out loud. “It was a one-night stand but, oh god I can't believe I'm admitting this, let's just say if I was offered the chance again I'd jump at it even knowing it will just hurt more in the end.”

            “Oh Chacha,” Gackt whispered sympathetically, as he wrapped his guitarist in a hug. “I'm sorry I brought him up.”

            “No, it's OK,” Chachamaru replied. “I knew what I was doing. Knew what he wanted from me. Just I can't help you get what I can't have. I'm not that masochistic.”

            “It's OK. I understand.” Gackt replied, looking longingly at the picture in the magazine once more before closing it and promising himself he'd never bring the subject up around Chachamaru again.

 

            It was a few days later and Chachamaru was staring at his phone in shock. He couldn't believe his eyes and as Gackt passed he smiled up, feeling a bit guilty before returning to stare at the text. Unless his eyes deceived him the message from Toshi read 'Yoshiki wants you to call him about meeting up again.' followed by a phone number. Could it be that Yoshiki wanted him?

            “Something up?” You asked slightly concerned.

            “No nothing.” Chachamaru replied with a forced smile as he put his phone away. What was he meant to do? Gackt had been so nice to not try and go after Yoshiki and upset him, despite his own personal feelings, that it would be cruel for Chachamaru to go behind his back and see Yoshiki again. It'd look almost as if he had done it on purpose to upset the vocalist, yet his heart wanted Yoshiki still. Only after that drunken night the idea of being with Gackt wasn't entirely alien to him either.

            Suddenly Chachamaru was faced with the harsh truth, he liked both men. Startled he stopped what he was doing and bit his lip nervously, he'd just had the rather extreme idea of being with both men at once. He could arrange it but would the others agree? They were both promiscuous men and they both liked him. Perhaps this could work?

            Picking up his phone and moving to an empty room, Chachamaru dialled the number deciding to suggest a group dinner, presuming he wasn't jumping to conclusions here. What if Yoshiki only wanted a work relationship?

            “Hello?” Yoshiki answered the phone, clearly having no idea who was ringing him.

            “It's Chachamaru, Toshi said you wanted to talk?” Chachamaru replied, feeling his heart race at the idea of what he was trying to arrange.

            “Oh yes,” Yoshiki replied. “My legendary guitarist.”

            “That's me,” Chachamaru replied. “So Toshi says you want to meet up?”

            “I've been thinking about things recently. About our special night. Regretting I threw you away. I do regret it now. Every time I see your image I remember that night and wonder, why was I so foolish?” Yoshiki explained, his very words exactly what Chachamaru had wanted to hear for so long, though he wasn't foolish enough to just accept them. “So, are you single?”

            “Yes,” Chachamaru replied. “But here's the catch, you want me but Gackt wants you so I don't know what to say. I don't want to betray my friend who also happens to be my boss.”

            “But Cha, I want you,” Yoshiki complained. “I've admitted I was wrong, do you have any idea how hard that is?”

            “I have a proposition.” Chachamaru replied, rolling his eyes at Yoshiki's outburst. Trust the drama queen to turn this around so it was all about his feelings and the damage he had done to his ego by apologising. “You like me, Gackt likes you and I'm torn between both of you, let's just all meet for dinner and see how things fall?”

            “So a date with Gackt trying to seduce me away from you?” Yoshiki asked suspiciously.

            “A date where you get to pick who you take home,” Chachamaru corrected. “Your choice is final, unless by some kind of miracle Gackt chooses me.”

            “One of us will go home hurt.” Yoshiki commented, sounding unsure. This was Chachamaru's chance to suggest the second part of his proposal but could he dare?

            “Well part of me hopes nobody goes home,” Chachamaru replied, making his voice sound seductive and playful. “That we can all get along like good little boys.”

            “I'm listening.” Yoshiki replied, the smile on his face evident in the tone of his voice. With a grin Chachamaru began to explain the beginnings of his plan, realising from Yoshiki's responses that the drummer had already decided he wanted this to be the outcome for the night. The tricky part would be convincing Gackt.

 

            Chachamaru had decided limited honesty was the best course of action, so he had told Gackt that they would both be having dinner with Yoshiki and the drummer got to choose who he took home. It seemed a fair deal but it had brought out Gackt's competitive edge. There wasn't a chance he'd give up on Yoshiki and choose him now but Chachamaru had never suspected such an outcome. This date would end up with Yoshiki in his bed and Gackt's presence was the only variable. Yoshiki wanted the threesome and had sworn he would stick with Chachamaru until they found a man to fill the third man space. It hadn't been exactly the proposition of love Yoshiki had seemed to be making before but Chachamaru had long since managed to control his emotions when it came to the drummer. Yoshiki used men for his own selfish needs, it was no secret to his band mates and it was no secret to Chachamaru who had seen him in action. He only hoped when the dust settled he'd still be in Gackt's arms both cursing Yoshiki for leaving them.

            Yoshiki had chosen the restaurant and claimed it was affordable but opening the menu Chachamaru was almost tempted to order a side salad and water. How could anyone justify these prices? Glancing over at Gackt he saw the other, though not so shocked, was glancing at Chachamaru questioning. The vocalist would never take him to such a place and expect him to pay for himself but Chachamaru smiled reassuringly at his friend. He could afford this, though it almost hurt to pay these prices, clearly Yoshiki's idea of affordable meant you didn't have to take out a bank loan to pay for your dinner.

            Choosing the cheapest meal he could find that wouldn't raise questions or make it look like he was trying to be cheap, Chachamaru put down the menu and smiled at Yoshiki who was staring at him despite Gackt's best attempts to get his attention. Had this been a real seduction battle he may have just won but it wasn't what either he or Yoshiki truly wanted so he left Gackt to it, enjoying the meal and the company that went with it, pushing his ulterior motives aside for now.

 

            Gackt had been surprised when Yoshiki had announced he had prepared desert at his home but it seemed like a nice idea considering the prices of the meals here. Gackt wasn't one to flash his money around for the sake of appearing rich, he just wanted to eat nice food, but Yoshiki clearly was. He knew how much his guitarist earned from him and could guess at his total income and though he knew the other was far from poor, he was always careful. A trait Gackt found himself admiring in the other man, especially when coupled with a rather humble attitude towards gifts. Chachamaru didn't want to be spoiled, he just wanted to pay his own way through life and have fun along the way.

            Right now though it was hard to think kindly of the guitarist, who was still the one Yoshiki couldn't drag his eyes away from, despite his own best efforts to distract him away. He'd never lost like this before, never had the target of his affections pulled away by someone else and though his victory looked unlikely, he was determined that he would make it happen.

            He did everything but physically push Chachamaru out of the way to get to sit in the front of Yoshiki's car and looking unconcerned the guitarist sat in the back with a look of smug self-satisfaction on his face. This was a man sure he had already won but Gackt knew this was when his guard would be down and it was best for him to attack.

            Forcefully but not too much to scare Yoshiki away, Gackt began to flirt and to his relief Yoshiki finally seemed to react. It had been a great idea to keep Chachamaru out of his line of vision and feeling his confidence return Gackt placed his hand on Yoshiki's thigh as he continued to share a story about a school trip that involved his own self-sacrifice to save a friend. A deceptively innocent way to win another’s heart, because until the very end it just sounded like he was sharing a story from his past.           

            Chachamaru knew the story already and was bemused by Gackt having to bring it up. He'd never seen the vocalist so desperate to win another's attention before and it was almost enough to make him give up on the threesome and claim his prize. To see Gackt lose, that would be a novelty, but anything less than having Gackt in the bedroom would leave him broken hearted. He very much doubted Yoshiki meant it when he said he wanted to stick around this time, especially after he had received a call from an alarmed Toshi who had heard what Yoshiki had planned and had to inform him the drummer was on the rebound after another failed relationship.

            The story finished and Yoshiki went through the normal routine of admiring Gackt's actions, just like those before him but then his eyes fell on the rear view mirror and he smiled catching Chachamaru's reflection. He loved the attention Gackt was paying him and knew exactly how to make the other want him even more.

            “Did Chachamaru ever tell you about our night together?” Yoshiki asked, with deceptive innocence.

            “I know you've slept together,” Gackt replied. “But you know, I'm sure there's plenty of things he didn't do that I could. I'm quite flexible you know.”

            “I don't know, Cha and I did quite a lot, against the door, over the table and a good two hours in the bed before yet another round in the jacuzzi.” Yoshiki commented with a smile. Their night together had been nothing but sex in one position after another and remembering it made his body tingle in anticipation at the chance to have the guitarist again.

            “Not bad for an old man.” Gackt teased, flashing Chachamaru a smile that was more a warning than anything else. He was seriously desperate now but what came next shocked Chachamaru, as he had never expected the other to offer such a thing. “If you want you could bend me over a table, I’ve never been taken before but I bet when it's you it would be amazing.”

            “You've never been taken before?” Yoshiki repeated, suddenly forgetting all about Chachamaru's presence in the car, the idea of being able to steal Gackt's anal virginity was almost too much to resist but reminding himself that the plan was to have both men, he calmed his hormones just enough to continue. Still his attention was on Gackt now and Chachamaru might as well have been invisible.

            “No, but I know how nice it is to slide my length into a nice tight ass. To watch an innocent squirm and I won't just be any virgin.” Gackt whispered, letting his fingers brush over Yoshiki's crotch just strong enough to be noticed

            “It's a tempting offer but let's have desert.” Yoshiki announced, as he drove his car into his own garage and leading the way inside, well aware of the two men's gazes firmly on his ass.

 

            Yoshiki served desert in his lounge, placing the tray on the coffee table before sitting between the two men on the sofa, bemused by the confusion on Gackt's face turn to shock and then a smile of lust. Taking advantage, he picked up the bowl of honey and slices of apple and playfully dipped the fruit in the sweet syrup before taking a bite, letting the honey trail down his chin. As expected Yoshiki leant over and licked it away and Gackt smiled. He suspected he'd just been played all night to get him here and was just a little unsure what was expected of him. Were they still trying to win Yoshiki's affection, or had the game gone past that to one where there were no losers?

            Chachamaru selected a can of whipped cream and gently forcing Yoshiki to tilt his neck he coated the others exposed skin and began to lick the other’s neck eagerly, as his hand slid up Yoshiki's thighs reaching the drummer’s crotch surprised to find Gackt's hand already there.

            “You're such a naughty boy.” Gackt pretty much purred, as he held up more honey covered apple and moved it towards Yoshiki's lips, letting the other eat it before selecting another. He heard the sounds of the whipped cream again but hadn't realised Chachamaru had sprayed his crotch until he felt the others tongue sliding over the leather of his trousers. Glancing down he realised Cha was now on the floor moving between his legs with the grin of a devil on his lips.

            Pleased Gackt worked on Yoshiki's crotch alone, whilst dipping another slice of apple into the honey with his free hand. He raised it to his lips and holding it between his teeth he offered it to Yoshiki, who ate it from his mouth letting Gackt have the last bite to himself. Throwing back his head Gackt sank down, wrapping his legs around his guitarist pinning him in place. This felt good, really good and from the looks of things he wasn't the only one enjoying the show.

            Idly moving away from the couple, already missing the hand on his now half hard erection, Yoshiki headed to the kitchen and returned moments later with a bar of chocolate melted within a heated bowl. It was one of his favourite treats and eagerly he dipped apple into the chocolate trying to tempt Gackt to eat it. Surprised that it didn't work, he offered it to Chachamaru who ate it eagerly, licking the chocolate away from his fingers as he stared up with a knowing smile. He knew the reason why Gackt refused to eat this treat but he wasn't sharing and Yoshiki no longer cared enough to ask.

            “If you won't eat my treat, then I have no choice.” Yoshiki scolded the vocalist, pulling the other’s t-shirt up as far as it would go without been taken off and tipping the bowl over Gackt's chest. Warm chocolate began to cover his torso and eagerly Chachamaru moved to lick it off, wrapping an arm around Yoshiki as the other joined him.

            The cream came out again as Cha never grew tired of playing with it and he liberally coated Gackt's chest, turning it into a creamy chocolate mess. It tasted delicious and though Gackt would never taste what they had created, he didn't feel left out in the slightest. It felt good to have the complete attention of two men and gently he placed a hand on each of their heads, shutting his eyes so he could better enjoy the sensations of two wandering tongues.

            When Gackt was finally clean, Chachamaru picked up his cream and pouted as he realised there wasn't much left. He felt cheated knowing this had never been a full can and glared at Yoshiki to express his annoyance.

            “Don't waste the last bit, I have plans,” Yoshiki scolded, confiscating the cream and pulling off his own shirt. “Strip, both of you and then I want Cha bent over the table.”

            “You're still favouring him.” Gackt complained but Yoshiki shook his head and kissed Gackt before reaching to undo his trousers. Only Cha needed to be naked for this part but he felt it best if they all discarded their clothing now, in doing so making this threesome official.

            As Chachamaru knelt on the floor and nervously bent over the coffee table Yoshiki had quickly cleared enough for him to do so, becoming slightly worried as he did so, he knew how exposed this position left him and just how dominant both men behind him could be. Gackt in particular had a sadistic streak and Chachamaru could only worry.

            He felt plastic pushing into his entrance and realised it was the nozzle for the cream. Understanding instantly he waited just a few seconds before he felt his ass fill up with the cool cream. It felt nice, though it quickly changed back to liquid inside him. With a contented sigh he felt the cream can been pulled back and the ends of the can discarded around his entrance.   

            “Why do I...” Gackt began to complain seconds later but then he shut up and his tongue was licking the cream from his guitarists ass. For a second Chachamaru froze but then he smiled, so Yoshiki still had power here even against Gackt? It was a nice discovery, a secret he would keep locked away to pleasure only himself.

            Gackt tensed when he felt the lubed finger rubbing against his entrance but he had, foolishly, promised to give his anal virginity to the drummer. It was a promise he was hoping would be forgotten but Yoshiki wasn't so kind. A long finger pushed into his ass but it didn't hurt or feel uncomfortable, so Gackt continued to lick away the cream that reminded him of another white liquid he liked to fill men with. Shame that they'd have to use protection tonight but the cream made it easy to imagine what he wanted to see.

            Without really thinking about it, Gackt let his tongue flick into Chachamaru feeling the other tense in surprise. He seemed happy though and as a second finger slid into his own ass Gackt pulled away and glanced around for the lube.

            “Here, prepare him well.” Yoshiki ordered and nodding Gackt accepted the bottle and began to prepare Chachamaru, always a single finger behind the drummer. Once the fourth finger slid into his ass Gackt gasped, how could he take so much? He'd never prepared a man with four fingers before and he began to worry that Yoshiki planned to fist him. He wouldn't be that cruel, right?

            Gackt almost breathed a sigh of relief when the fingers were withdrawn and accepted the condom handed to him, feeling a little shaken. He couldn't believe what he was about to do but the part of him that stopped him from ever backing down was working full force and unable to help himself he found himself putting on the condom and sliding his length inside his guitarist, knowing as he did that their relationship could never be the same.

            Bracing himself Gackt let Yoshiki fill him, thankful that neither man could see his face right now. Still he clutched onto Chachamaru's as he got used to the sensations that didn't hurt thanks to the great pains Yoshiki had gone too prepare him. There was a moment’s pause and then Yoshiki began to move inside him, hitting his prostrate with accuracy that could only come from years of practise. Moans became gasps for air and unable to control his feelings Gackt began to take Chachamaru hard and fast, realising as he did that he was increasing the friction inside his ass as well.

            Chachamaru couldn't believe the sounds escaping Gackt's mouth, they were such primal cries of pleasure that it sent a shiver of excitement up his spine. How could any man sound like such a perfect beast made for sex? With a groan he arched his hips upwards, taking more of the punishment been dealt out to him with barely controllable delight. He knew this would be great but he had never expected it to be amazing! Shutting his eyes, he allowed himself just to feel and the moans escaping the vocalist soon felt like a warm cocoon of pleasure and need. He wanted to cum but he knew he couldn't, not without stimulation and just as he opened his mouth to ask he felt Gackt's hand rubbing his length at a frantic pace that matched his own desire to reach orgasm. With a shudder Chachamaru held on, letting Gackt cum first before following suit with a cry of pleasure above him Gackt stilled but he still felt Yoshiki pounding into the vocalist a few times before a lone moan escaped the drummer’s lips and he too was spent. It was a night of pleasure to be remembered and Chachamaru found himself wishing it wasn't all that this was.

 

            It took seven months before Yoshiki got bored this time but when he did it felt right for them all, Chachamaru knew the difference between love and infatuation and with a sad smile he let Yoshiki go. Beside him Gackt was pouting and sympathetically the guitarist wrapped an arm around him.

            “You're still his number one fan boy,” Chachamaru commented. “No need to sulk.”

            “Did we do something wrong?” Gackt asked, not at all comforted by the older man’s words.

            “No. Yoshiki is just reckless, it'll take a very special man to tame him, if anyone can.” Chachamaru replied, smiling as Gackt wrapped a supportive arm around him. They both hurt but just like he had planned they were there to sooth each other’s pain and fill the gap Yoshiki had left in their lives. When his world had fallen around him, a pillar of support remained for both men and neither was about to let go any time soon. Why should they, when they were so madly in love?