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The Devil Ships ZeKu

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"Oh, hell no ."

 

The Heroes HQ cafeteria was buzzing with chatter but it was Kaminari Denki's voice that caught Midoriya Izuku's attention as soon as he arrived. It was three in the afternoon. Izuku was returning from patrol duty and was on a one-hour break, after which he had paperwork to file. But not before a snack, of course.

 

The cafeteria was fairly crowded, which was rare. Most of the time, it was packed and bustling with boisterous laughter, almost like a tavern. But now, it was fairly empty enough that Chargebolt and Pinky—or basically just Kaminari Denki and Ashido Mina to Izuku—had a table to themselves as they each enjoyed a burger, fries, and what seemed to be tall glasses of orange juice.

 

It's been five years since their class graduated from UA. They were now serving as licensed Heroes but it wasn’t just them that changed. Society had been, too. After much issue and debate about the flaws and misgivings of the previous Hero system, it became obvious that an overhaul was in order. So the government decided to take the lead by communicating with representatives from different sectors of society to find a solution that worked for the greater good.

 

One of the proposals was to rework if not totally abolish the rankings. The goal was to avoid discrimination among the heroes so they could focus on working together towards a common goal. There was a call to unite under a single banner. All Heroes would register under one organization that would be independent from any political and business ties.

 

Part of the forefront of this reform were Todoroki Shouto, Yaoyorozu Momo, and Iida Tenya who were met with multiple adversaries on many different levels from many different factions. Those from the private sector were particularly unhappy, as a unified Hero banner would mean abolishing private Hero agencies. To this date, Izuku had no idea how his classmates managed to push through with most of their reforms but he was proud of them. Getting reforms through was just the beginning, after all. There was still much to do. The current system was still imperfect and in-progress but, hey, rarely anything in this world was easy. What mattered was that they were moving forward.

 

"So then what happened?" Kaminari was saying now, listening eagerly. They seemed to be engaged in such deep and important conversation that none of them noticed Izuku pass by. He headed towards the vending machine nearby, pulling out his hero license (that now doubled as a payment card) as he waited for his turn. He wondered if he should get an energy drink and maybe a sandwich. The cafeteria counter seemed to wave at him from the side of his eye, making him think if perhaps he should get a proper meal instead.

 

But then Ashido slammed her palm on the table, making Izuku gasp in attention.

 

"What happened was shit. Went. Down." Ashido hit the table and leaned forward with every word. Kaminari’s eyebrows raised in some form of suspenseful surprise but didn't interrupt.

 

Wow. What intense topic were they talking about?

 

"So Bakugou blew up everything way past his limit that he lost one arm and—"

 

"Kacchan what!?" Izuku exclaimed loudly from across the room, earning startled glances and murmurs from the other Heroes. Izuku fidgeted again, mumbling apologies to both everyone and no one in particular. He’d probably apologize for two more minutes but Kacchan lost an arm, okay? So Izuku strode quickly to where his two friends were sitting, forgetting for a while that he needed food. Kaminari and Ashido blinked dumbly at him. It seemed they weren’t aware that his outburst was caused by overhearing their conversation.

 

"When was this?” He mumbled as he rested his palms on the table, unsure what he was feeling because there was no single word that summarized worried, sad, frustrated, angry, and confused. “Who was Kacchan fighting? Is he okay? Why didn't anyone—"

 

"Yo, yo, yo, settle down, childhood friend." Kaminari waved at him. Ashido giggled. Izuku opened his mouth to say something along the lines of no , he wasn't going to shut up because Kacchan lost an arm and he was only finding out now . From overhearing . He didn’t get the news from Kacchan or Kacchan’s mother or Izuku’s own mother or… or… or…

 

"Hith’s noth rir." Kaminari’s jibberish ended Izuku's train of thought amidst the sound of his loud chewing.

 

Eh?

 

"It's not real?" The green-haired boy tilted his head. Part of him wanted to comment on the french fry that was sticking out of Denki’s mouth.

 

"Nope. Not real." Ashido spoke, mouth full as she casually chewed on her burger.

 

Wait, what ?

 

His confusion must have shown on his face because Kaminari started to explain.

 

"See, Ashido here had discovered this thing they call fanfiction ." The blonde Hero scooted to his side to make space on the bench as a silent invitation for Izuku to sit next to him. "You know what that is, don't you?"

 

"Yeah. I've heard of it." Izuku nodded as he sat down, forehead wrinkled in curiosity. "What's it have to do with Kacchan's broken—Oh my god , don't tell me he got pissed at a story and—"

 

Ashido Mina literally choked on her burger in laughter. Izuku panicked for a while, hurriedly trying to make her drink some juice to wash it down had she not been dying of laughter. Kaminari was no help either. The blonde electric Hero also burst out laughing right before he could chomp on his burger. And, thankfully, too, because Izuku did not want to deal with two choking adults who favored comedy over their lives.

 

"Your reaction is understandable, but, no, no, no. Bakugou isn’t pissed at a story." Mina said as she calmed down, wiping her tears, and morsels of food from the side of her lip. "I meant in a story. He’s in a story." She took a deep breath, giggling a bit before sipping more of her juice. "There's fanfiction written with us Heroes in it."

 

Oh.

 

Ohhhh.

 

Izuku felt dumb for not connecting the dots immediately. It's just that the possibility of Kacchan losing an arm thanks to his rage wasn't really in the realm of impossible. Even if Kacchan—or Ground Zero, as he'd like to call himself as a Hero—Even if Kacchan was talented, experienced, smart, and just downright amazing fighting-wise, Izuku could not help but worry that his temperament would one day make him lose a limb. Sure, he had toned down considerably, but he still had fits of rage every now and then. It didn't help that his quirk had drawbacks that risked shattering his arm, too. Izuku quietly thought back to a practical exam they had against All Might where he had to use one of Kacchan's grenade bracers. The recoil was insane.

 

"Ashido found a really good one with our entire 1-A class in it." Kaminari said, waking Izuku out of his small flashback. "Like mostly about us in the class except Pro Hero version. Way cool."

 

Ashido giggled again but waited to swallow her food before she said anything. Thank god .

 

"Mmmhmm! It's six chapters in and—” She leaned to her side to take a sip from the straw of her orange juice, “—Hooboy, it's a ride! I told Kaminari to read it but mister Chargebolt over here doesn't have enough electrons to read it ."

 

"It's a lot of words, okay?!"

 

"Hey, first of all, an average of three thousand words per chapter is not long, you hear me!?" Ashido groaned, rolling her dark eyes as she scratched her hair like a very disappointed mother.  "Some authors have, like, an average of eight thousand per chapter! You don't know what a long chapter is, you casual !"

 

Casual? Izuku could feel his face warp into confusion. What exactly was a casual ?

 

"Eight th—!” Kaminari sounded outraged. “What person does that !?"

 

Does what? Write eight thousand words or injure Kacchan’s arms in a story? Did that say anything about the writer? Izuku wondered. Why would anyone write about gravely injuring a real person? Was this any grounds to judge? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. After all, people had been enjoying many forms of media that involved violence, gore, and other themes deemed disturbing on regular circumstances. Fiction was fiction.

 

Except Kacchan was a real person.

 

“—have to use so many words to destroy a fucking arm !” Kaminari ground the words out his teeth, returning Izuku to the realm of not-mumbling.

 

“Um, guys…” Izuku tried interrupting as timidly as he could because what did he know about the importance of word counts and being casual or formal and whatnot? "S-so… So why did Kacchan lose his arm...?"

 

Sudden pause. Kaminari and Ashido literally stopped mid-motion, mid-conversation to look at him. For a second, it felt strange until it felt creepy . Was there a reason Ashido’s face was starting to warp into the expression of a devil that was just about to lure him with sin and temptation into the depths of hell?

 

"Aaaaaargh!” Kaminari burst out. It made Izuku jump slightly, knee hitting the table, causing the food to jump and almost spilling the juice. “That'll take us back to chapter one, Midoriya! Come on! "

 

Ah! Ah! Did he ask something bad?

 

Judging by Ashido’s smile, not really.

 

"Okay, okay...!” She shifted excitedly in her seat, leaning forward like she was gearing up for something very, very important. “”So it all starts with—”

 

“You were in the middle of telling me about chapter six , god damn it!” Kaminari complained as he leaned back and kicked his feet under the table.

 

“Oh my god , don’t be selfish, Kaminari!” Ashido hissed, yanking him by the hair. The blonde retaliated by reaching for Ashido’s antenna but she quickly leaned back and out of his reach.

 

“G-guys… I…!” Izuku wasn’t sure what to say. “Well, I could read it myself if—”

 

“See!?” Kaminari clapped triumphantly. “He’s—”

 

Whatever that sentence was, Ashido was obviously not interested judging by how she quickly grabbed Denki by the jaw to immediately shut him up. Her eyes were wide and focused on Izuku like she was assessing him.

 

Oh- kay ? Why was she looking at him like she was about to snare him into a web from where there was no return?

 

“Midoriya.” She began. Voice flat. All he could reply was a high-pitched cross of “Yes” and “Hiiie”, which was basically, “Hiiieeesss!”

 

“You wanna read fanfics?”

 

Izuku slowly opened his mouth to make it look like he was going to answer because he didn’t have an answer. He didn’t really want to read fanfics, he just wanted to read that particular fanfic. He was curious about the kind of story that Kaminari Denki seemed to be invested in already. And he was also curious about what kind of situation someone thought Kacchan would lose an arm in. But by the way Ashido was staring into his eyes like she was going to steal his soul if he gave the wrong answer, Izuku wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore.

 

“Midoriya.”

 

“Ah!” Izuku fidgeted in his seat again and just spat out the first thing that came to mind. “Yes, mam! Yes, mam!”

 

And perhaps that was the right answer. Ashido squealed in excitement as she turned to her phone, quick fingers swiping and tapping as she giggled.

 

“Oh my gosh , wait ‘til I tell the girls!”

 

Tell the girls? Wait, what? Was this an achievement of some sort? A life event?

 

“I posted this on our Facenook group before but it got drowned out by the guys’ back-and-forth wrestling thread." Ashido said, pouting mid-sentence before sighing as if to dismiss whatever thoughts she had. "Anyway, I’ll send you the link.”

 

“A-ah! Okay! Th-thank you!” Izuku blinked and pulled out his phone. He still didn’t know what he was getting into. It seemed to be a trivial thing but Ashido’s actions made it seem like it wasn’t. Strange.

 

“You are absolutely going to like this, Midoriya.” She giggled again amidst the chiming of Facenook messenger’s alert. “I mean, you're really cool in it, you know."

 

"Just tell him it’s Todoroki-centric already." Kaminari sounded bored. Ashido rolled her eyes away.

 

"It's in the damn tags, Kaminari.” The girl looked up from her phone so she could glare at him. “The author literally said she would kick a puppy for Todoroki. At least learn to read the tags. My god ."

 

“I told you , it’s too many words!”

 

“And I told you you don’t know what long is!”

 

Izuku smiled faintly at the exchange before turning to his phone to see the link his friend had sent. It’s just a story, right?

 

Right.

 

So why did this seem to be a strange idea?






Six chapters and seven one-shots into his new discovery was all it took for Midoriya Izuku to decide that fanfiction was amazing . It was like seeing the Hero world with a different set of eyes. He’d read through Ashido’s recommendation earlier today and wow . Just wow . It was set ten years into the future and had quite a rocky, questionable start, but it picked up.

 

The story began with—guess who— Todoroki Shouto driving home, pondering how he felt bad having to dump another woman (what?). As he drove by on his shiny red Namborghini with white accents (eh?), he noticed a group of thugs seemingly mugging an innocent citizen. Being a Hero that he was, Todoroki Shouto stopped his car—or, more accurately, made it drift towards a proper parking space (huh?)—stepped out of his vehicle and dealt with the thugs. Again, more accurately, he threw ice roses at them and made them run away (um?).

 

The victim, on the other hand, turned out to be a young man claiming to be from another dimension. He was here on a mission to save the humans because a couple of entities from his world were aiming to harvest people with Quirks to become sources of power. The thugs were really his pursuers that he’d been trying to run away from but his journey had been far too long and difficult. He was too weak and got cornered. Todoroki asked him what he could do to help. The stranger hesitated and apologized before he—Izuku choked on his own saliva at this part—he kissed Todoroki Shouto— kissed , oh, god, he read that right, didn’t he—and was now, by some sort of foreign technique, linked to him as a source of energy.

 

Hoo-wow.

 

The noise that came out of Midoriya Izuku was a cross of a snort and a whine. Kaminari was a hundred percent spot on with how the story was Todoroki-centric. He was basically written as All Might 2.0 if All Might was an overly charming, smart, rich, and handsome male protagonist from a soap opera. He was very cool. Too cool , in fact, and not the ice kind of cool. He was too suave for his own good, too dignified, too always-knew-what-was-right-from-wrong. And all the girls were in love with him. Heck, everyone was probably in love with him. Even one of the villains begame so obsessed with him that she tried to tear off his clothes every time she saw him. Good lord.

 

Izuku found himself in the story, of course… As Todoroki’s super best friend who basically was a sidekick in all but name. He didn’t know why but he was. The author did mention that she took a lot of inspiration from “the very first UA sports festival they had prior to becoming a hero”. So maybe that had a hand in how Deku was a sidekick? But, hey, he was cool in his own right. He did like the part where he parkoured the living hell out of three golems to beat them with agility and quick wits. But then the golems multiplied!

 

...And then Todoroki came in and froze them all.

 

Okay.

 

So beyond all the Todoroki fanservice, everything was great. Some of them were out-of-character, in Izuku’s opinion, but that was perhaps because the author didn’t really know them personally. Forgivable flaws aside, Izuku thought it was an amazing story in the works. In fact, he didn’t really notice that he had spent over two hours sitting on his bed reading through six chapters on his phone. Three thousand words per chapter didn’t seem like much when it was well-written. What was more amazing was that it was about him and his friends. Hopefully, the author would update soon. He even subscribed to the story so he’d get an e-mail alert when the new chapter was up.

 

Oh, and kudos. Mina said feedback was important but Izuku was holding off commenting until he was given enlightenment on fictional Kacchan’s arm. He didn’t really lose an arm, but it was implied that he did while he was fighting one of the enemies that tried to harvest him for his Quirk. Izuku was still holding on to the possibility of Kacchan actually being okay or getting his arm back. He wasn’t even going to consider how Kacchan went flying aimlessly into the air after the explosion and getting caught by—guess who— Todoroki Shouto.

 

Wanting to explore more fanfiction worlds, Izuku decided to try searching for others. It was a bit confusing at first with all the terms but most of them were self-explanatory.

 

Izuku managed to find fanfictions that were good, bad, and then… some that he didn’t know what to feel about. Like the one where Todoroki split into two. Ice Shouto was an quiet and insecure. Fire Shouto was dominant and upbeat. Due to a strange turn of events, Ice Shouto cast an eternal winter everywhere and locked himself up in an ice castle so now it was up to Fire Shouto had to get him out. Izuku had a nagging feeling that he knew this story was from somewhere as soon as he read Ice Shouto tell Fire Shouto that “The cold never bothered me anyway.”

 

Okay, not to hate on his friend, but why were there so many Todoroki-centered fics? It wasn’t a secret how popular he was but… But there had to be a limit somewhere , right? There were nine thousand stories of him on this site.

 

Hoping to read more of people who weren’t Todoroki Shouto (again, no hate), Izuku tried a more refined search. That was when he found something interesting under the relationships tag:

 

Ground Zero/Deku.

 

Oh, wow ! So there were fics that had him and Kacchan as main characters !? Like heroes and sidekicks!? Or a duo!?

 

That was all it took for Izuku to query without hesitation and with all the excitement of a five-year old on Christmas.

 

The page was already loading when he remembered that, ah, he had Hero duty tomorrow. Izuku glanced at the clock. Ten-thirty in the evening. Hmm.

 

Well, it would be nice to see what people thought of us. Izuku thought. He and Kacchan hd been through a lot together. To say they had to tread rocky paths to get to were they were was an understatement. Both of them had their own struggles and insecurities, which they managed to deal with, one way or another. And while Kacchan still had that harsh, competitive aura to him, his hostility had dialed down a lot. Izuku took pride in being the person who understands him the most. He liked to think that Kacchan thought the same. Perhaps the entire HQ did because they were often assigned together—whether to deal with certain incidents or to go on patrol on seasons when they were required to do rounds in pairs. They made a good team.

 

So, yeah. It would be interesting to find out how complete strangers saw their dynamic.

 

“Just one story.” Izuku mumbled, puffing up his pillow so he could lean on it properly. “Just one story and I’m going to bed.”

 

And off to the first fic he went.

Chapter Text

The Devil Ships ZeKu

 

Chapter 2: No Archive Warnings Apply

 

 


 

 

According to the summary, it was a story of how “Ground Zero and Deku go on a reconnaissance mission together. But when one thing leads to another, they find themselves having to confront a problem that they’ve always dealt with alone before but have to face together now. Not good at summaries. Sorry.

 

Izuku smiled. Stealth operations and team work with Kacchan! Color him intrigued.

 

Like most stories Izuku had found on the site so far, it started off fairly simple. This one in particular was written from Deku’s point of view and kicked off with him and Ground Zero making their way together into an office. There was some interesting small talk on the elevator, suggesting that it had been a while since they were last sent on a mission together. Deku was both internally and vocally happy about it despite Zero’s obvious complaints of how he hoped to god it was something that allowed him to blow up something.

 

“That is so Kacchan.” Izuku chuckled, in his nest of blankets on his bed. He pulled up his legs so he could rest his phone on his knees. Mmm. Cozy.

 

Waiting for them behind large double doors at the end of a long carpeted hallway was All Might. In this story, he was actively working in intelligence agencies of the government that coordinated with Heroes to carry out operations. Izuku had opinions about that but he dismissed it.

 

All Might gave them—Ground Zero and Deku—a briefing of their mission. He was using a high-tech 3D projector. Damn. Izuku hoped he’d live to see the day they would get enough funding for something like that.

 

Back to the story, the two Heroes had to pretend to be waiters in a party where brokers had invited an underground faction of villains to present and make a deal about a potentially deadly weapon. What that weapon that was exactly, they had no clue. The only thing they knew was that it was dangerous and had to be dealt with.

 

Part of Izuku started breaking down the situation out of instinct and immediately came up with options to deal with the threat other than sending him and Kacchan into that party. In fact, there were other more qualified heroes for this mission than him and Kacchan, buuuuut, hey. The author wasn’t a Hero. Maybe they really just wanted to write a story about Ground Zero and Deku? Why nitpick too much?


Izuku took a deep breath to shut his brain up before he resumed reading.

 

  


 

 

“I can’t remember the last time I wore something like this.” Zero grumbled as he eyed the suits hanging in the lockers of the changing room that All Might’s secretary ushered them into. Deku only laughed in agreement but said nothing more. Come to think of it, when was the last time he saw Zero in a suit? Oh, it was also during a party, if his memory served him right, but not a mission. It was a genuine party—Endeavor’s birthday party. Damn, Zero looked hot.

 

“I hate this.” Zero said again, catching Deku’s attention enough for him to look back and see Zero wrinkle his nose as he looked away. Deku thought that was cute.

  

 


 

 

Izuku stopped. Was it? Whenever Kacchan was anywhere close to pissed, Izuku was more occupied by the thought of not getting explodo-murdered to really notice if his crinkled nose was cute. Or if his nose crinkled at all.

 

But was it cute?

 

Izuku looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully before shrugging.

 

Ah, never mind.

 

 


 

 

 

“Hey, come on, don’t be like that.” Deku smiled as he walked towards suits and thoughtfully felt the material of the sleeves between his fingers. “Think of it this way… It’s a good change of pace, don’t you think?”

 

Zero grumbled but didn’t comment further. Instead, he responded by unceremoniously removing his accessories. The metal braces on his shoulders came off first, falling with a thunk on the wooden bench next to him. It was soon followed by his gauntlets and then his gloves. At this point, Deku thought he should follow suit and start changing but just as he reached for his gloves, something about seeing Zero’s thick fingers made him stop.

 

Fingers? Or was it his arms?


When Zero started to roll off his arm sleeves, it was then that Deku decided that it was definitely Zero’s arms that were flipping his switches.

 

  


 

 

“Arms?” Izuku frowned, unsure what that meant. What about Kacchan’s arms? Was he injured? Were there scars?

 

What was with these authors and Kacchan’s arms!?

 

 


 

 

 

Zero’s arms being nice and toned was no secret. He wore a sleeveless costume, after all, so it wasn’t really new to Deku to see skin. But those strong arms being unveiled in front of him like that was an entirely different story.

 

 


 

 

 

“Like how?” Izuku raised an eyebrow and scratched his head. This was confusing.

  


 

 

Maybe it was just Deku’s imagination but it was almost hypnotic how the sleeves rolled off slowly, like a curtain, like a tease. First on one arm and then on the other. His eyes followed Zero’s hands as they dropped the pieces of clothing to follow his accessories on the bench. And just before Deku could decide to turn around and start changing, Zero started lifting his top over his head and holy. Mother. Of god almighty thank you heaven praise thee. Deku had to keep himself from biting on his knuckles.

 

The first strip of skin that was made available to his eyes was something to feast on already. The lines on his body were so defined, it made one wonder what it would look like with sweat running down on it. Deku had to swallow down a small noise that was threatening to come out from his throat.

 

And then, as if adding fuel to the fire in Deku’s pants, Zero managed to get his head stuck just before he could pull his top off. Great. So there he was—arms raised, torso exposed, pants riding low and fuck. Deku bit on his knuckles because dayum, son.

 

“God... Fucking... Damn it…!” Zero huffed as he wiggled around and bent over, giving Deku an amazing view of his backside. He licked his lips subconsciously as he prayed for some higher power to somehow “accidentally” pull Zero’s pants off. Had this been any other person, Deku would’ve found it silly enough to tease him. But, no. The only tease here was Zero. And the only thing Deku found was the inexplicable urge to taste Zero’s skin.

 


 

 

Izuku had to stop reading for a bit to check if the AC was working because he was feeling hot for some reason. He kicked off the blanket over his legs just to be sure.

 

The choice of words to describe Kacchan’s body was peculiar but maybe that was what they called writing style? Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was trying to figure out if “skin tasting” was some sort of metaphor.

 

It wasn’t.

 

The next paragraph had Zero’s head popping out just in time to catch Deku shamelessly staring at him.

 


 

 

“What?” Zero asked, dropping the black top and fingers moving towards his belt. Deku wanted to open his mouth to answer except it was already open. Not wanting to prolong the rather awkward situation, he decided to just shrug and turn around.

 

“Ohooo.” Zero’s voice sounded like a very naughty grin that made Deku’s mind go in circles. “Like what you see?”

 

“I…” Deku started removing his gloves and dropped them randomly on the floor. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Mmhhm. ‘Course you don’t.”

 


 

 

Same. Izuku was starting to not understand what any of these characters were talking about. He was absolutely looking forward to them being all cool and discussing the mission. Wasn’t this supposed to be the part where they planned the operation as a duo? Wasn’t that the point of this story?

 

Apparently, not, because now they were focusing on Zero’s zipper getting stuck. Why was he having so many wardrobe malfunctions? This was so unlike Kacchan. The real Kacchan would’ve cursed his clothes into submission and somehow it would still work out or something. The Zero in this story, however, had to ask Deku (of all people) for help on his zipper (of all things). But no matter. It’s not like the author knew of their story growing up. Still, though, Izuku didn’t find that enough reason for Zero grabbing Deku’s hand and...

 

Izuku’s wide eyes just widened further.

 

“He put my hand in his pants!?”

 

 


 

 

 

Deku yanked his hand back and motioned to jump away but Zero was faster. Just one stride and they were chest to chest with Deku’s back against the wall. This was all sorts of good and bad. Bad because the mission and good because Zero’s body oh-lala. But the mission. The mission!

 

“Z-Ze—!”

 

When Deku tried to push against him, Zero immediately responded by grabbing the smaller Hero by his wrists and pinning it on either side of his head. And as if that wasn’t enough, Zero leaned forward and whispered huskily, “Don’t play dumb with me, you little devil.”

 

“I… I’m not—Mmhhh…!”

 

There was no way to keep that moan down when Zero wedged his knee between his partner’s legs and started rubbing his thigh against the other’s crotch.

 

“You’re not what?”

 

“A-ah…” It was difficult for Deku not to move his hips accordingly. “Zero, what are you… Mmmhh... The... The mission...”

 

“And you suppose we can move forward with this…” He looked down at Deku’s crotch. “...this problem...? Hm?”

 

As if to stress his point, Zero grabbed the other Hero by the hips and ground their clothed erections against each other. Deku’s only response was another moan. How could he ever hope to say something when Zero was moving deliciously hard but torturously slow? Deku’s knees were already trembling.

 

“I thought so.” Zero snickered with a tone of finality, sucking on Deku’s earlobe just to be a bit more confusing and maybe convincing. “Besides, relaxing is necessary before heading out, yeah? Seeing as you’re all tense, I think you need to loosen up. We need to loosen up.“

 

He ground his hips a bit harder as if to make sure that Deku wouldn’t miss his erection.

 

There was probably a devil on Deku’s shoulder whispering that Zero was being reasonable It was the Hero in him, maybe, who managed to let out the next sentence which he hoped made sense.

 

“Wh-what are you saying…?”

 

“I’m saying I want to fuck you.” Zero gave Deku’s ear a nice long lick. “Let me fuck you, Deku.”

 

 


 

 

 

Midoriya Izuku did something he never thought was doable. He screamed quietly. He didn’t know how it was possible but it happened. His mouth was wide open and he was fairly sure that he was trying to shriek but nothing was coming out. Except for his soul maybe.

 

How? How the hell did the story go from serious mission briefing to LET ME FUCK YOU, DEKU. How!?

 

But they weren’t really going to, right? Because they were on a mission, weren’t they? It was important. Surely, that would be more of a priority? Even in fiction, missions were important right?

 

Right!?

 

 


 

 

 

Deku started to sort out his options until he realized he was too horny to think.

 

“O-okay...”  Deku huffed. “Fuck me, Zero.”

 

 


 

 

 

Izuku threw his phone like it was on fire in his hands. Thankfully, it just bounced towards the end of the bed and didn’t fall off.

 

So when the summary said “problem”, did it mean boners!? The author was right to say they were bad at summaries! How, or rather, why was this story developing like this? They were about to go on an important mission. Sure, it was logical to relax and focus before heading out on anything that involved hero work but… but… doing… having… doing… engaging in that! Oh, god, Izuku couldn’t even think of the word it was called anymore.

 

The story pacing was bad. Everything was out of character. This was not how Heroes work on missions. It was totally not them. He and Kacchan would absolutely not do anything remotely close to what this fanfiction was depicting. This was ridiculous!

 

Izuku should actually kick himself for picking up his phone and resuming his reading.

 

What followed in the story was absolute madness. They were suddenly all over each other. Hands were everywhere. There was graphic description of their kissing, of heavy breathing, of how they removed their clothes from each other. Kacchan—Zero—was impatient and almost tore Deku—Izuku? Wait, no, Deku—Deku’s costume apart. And he bit. Zero sank his teeth and sucked marks onto Deku’s skin as Deku—Izuku was having a hard time reading his own name in this entire thing—Deku struggled not to make noise. He was just there, suddenly naked and pinned between Kacchan’s hot, sweaty, heavenly body and the lockers that he’d forgotten were in the room until the author said Zero slammed his partner onto it.

 

“Good lord, he’s licking my nipples.” Izuku did not hear himself whisper this as he unconsciously touched his chest area. Strange. He was feeling a phantom tongue dancing across his skin. He’d never wished for it so bad to be a ghost because Kacchan suddenly being there to lick him was just… not going to help? Oh, and physically impossible.

 

As Izuku began to contemplate if he ever had Kacchan in his room, the Kacchan in the story told him—him, Deku—to kneel on the floor.

 

Ooooh, dear god, what was happening?

 

So Zero was standing. Kneeling on the floor and between his legs was Deku. And in front of Deku’s face was Kacchan’s—Zero, god damn it, Zero—Zero’s “massive pulsing dick”.

 

MASSIVE.

 

PULSING.

 

DICK.

 

WAS IT A WEAPON?

 

But before Izuku could ask himself another time about what was happening, why was it happening, and why on earth was he still reading this, Deku’s mouth just took in a humongous cock that resulted in him straining his jaw. What on earth…? As expected, he choked on its length. What was confusing to Izuku was how Deku thought it felt amazing. There was even some sort of pride when Zero moaned as “the tip of his cock hit the back of Deku’s throat”. That sounded painful until Zero started calling Deku “a good boy”, which kind of made the back of Izuku’s hair stand up as he continued reading.

 

Also, he was sweating.

 

Izuku fell to lie and curl on his side due to the urgent need to be tiny.

 

What was this story?!

 

 


 

 

 

Zero felt good in his mouth. No, he felt amazing. Deku wondered what it said of him enjoying getting his face getting fucked by another man like this but what did it matter anymore? Above him, Zero was panting and moaning in delight as Deku moved his tongue against the cock he was enjoying. He wanted to hear more of Zero’s praises. He needed it.

 

“Fuck, your mouth is so hot. Feels so good. Damn.” The Explosion Hero said breathlessly, hand in Deku’s hair as he guided his head to match the rhythm of his hips. Deku moaned in response. The vibrations from his mouth made Zero close his eyes, lick his lips, and say his partner’s name in a beautiful, beautiful sigh.

 

“I fuckin’ missed this, Deku.”

 

 


 

 

 

“Missed this.”

 

Izuku had to read it again. And then again. And again. He wasn’t sure if his brain cells had stopped functioning at the implication that he and Kacchan had been engaging in… in… in this… for more than once. Or at all.

 

And perhaps he’d blame his malfunctioning nervous system on why he kept reading about how good Kacchan’s dick felt in his mouth. Not that Izuku actually wondered, but the words were there and it… just… fed the thoughts into his brain maybe? He wasn’t sure how long all the titillating face activity went on but Zero made Deku stop. Izuku wondered if that would be the end of it. Part of him knew it wasn’t.

  


 

 

 

“Mmhh…  That’s enough...”  The last word was almost just a breath from Zero. Deku whined, a bit disappointed with how he wasn’t going to be able to taste Zero’s come but some other day, maybe. Zero pulled his cock out with a pop. The empty feeling wasn’t welcome, but he was pretty sure he’d be filled again somehow. Some other way. Some other... hole.

 

 


 

 

 

First of all, disappointed? Second, some other time? And third, some other hole!?

 

Izuku’s brain made an impromptu, involuntary count of how many holes his body had and which of those could take a dick without failing to function post-dick-taking. But before he could even think of what to call the opening between his buttcheeks, Zero told Deku to get up, turn around, put his hands flat on the lockers, and stick his ass up.

 

There was tension both in the story and Izuku’s room as Zero rummaged through his stuff to find lube. Izuku wondered why Pro Heroes had to go around carrying lube in this world but maybe that’s what went down when men had genitals that were massive enough to maybe start a war?

 

But then Zero plunged his lube-coated fingers into Deku’s ass and that was just—Izuku lowered the AC temperature because why was he sweating? This was not the plan!

 

“He’s moving it how!?” Izuku exclaimed before holding up two fingers and moving it in a scissor-like fashion, curling every now and then. His creatively traitorous brain then made the connection on its own. This movement. His Ass. Kacchan’s thick fingers.

 

What would it feel like?

 

No. No, don’t ask that! Noooooo!

 

His initial assumption was that it would hurt, but the story didn’t really narrate it that way. So Izuku reserved his judgment until such time… That... Um...

 

 


 

 

 

“Zero…” Deku huffed, clawing at the lockers uselessly. He moved his hips back against the pleasurable fingers in his ass. It wasn’t enough anymore. He needed more. He needed it.

 

“Zero… please…” The smaller hero sobbed. “Please.

 

 


 

 

Izuku’s brain was starting to replace Zero with Kacchan too often without permission. And he was reading each of Zero’s lines in Kacchan’s voice. It wasn’t fair. It had to stop.

 

He had to stop.

 

But he didn’t.

 

Izuku shuddered when Zero snickered in the story. And then he made Deku turn around, back against the lockers, before lifting him up, and telling the smaller Hero to wrap his legs around Zero’s sweaty, naked torso.

 

Izuku could feel his toes curl in anticipation.

 

Oh, god. Oh, dear. Oh, heavens. What was happening? It was happening. This was happening. This was the happening.

 

Zero pushed his dick inside Deku’s ass with a moan and a soft cry. Every inch of that invasion was described so painfully good that Izuku was starting to question why pooping didn’t feel the same. Still, though, there was some sort of relief in finally getting Zero fully sheathed. But that really didn’t make reading the story any easier. Having Zero’s cock inside was uncomfortable, said the Deku in the story.

 

“Yes, I imagine it must be.” Whispered the Deku in real life. His shorts were getting uncomfortable.

 

But then it got very, very, very pleasurable. Zero started moving his hips in a pace that quickly went from nice and slow to trying to destroy the locker with another hero’s body. Deku kept panting and asking for more until his mouth went slack and only capable of uttering small noises. Izuku assumed that translated to  “It feels so good, I can’t even function”. And perhaps that was the explanation for them not caring about the sounds they were making? Because Izuku had done nothing but be worried about the sound of the locker where they were banging against. And the echoes. God, they were loud. Why was no one checking on these two? They were obviously past the designated time to kick off the operation.

 

But what did that matter? Deku was obviously enjoying this and Kacchan—Zero. It’s Zero. Please get on the program, brain.—Zero was having the time of his life. His little praises of “you feel so good”, “you’re so perfect”, and “it feels amazing inside you” came with a phantom breath against Izuku’s ear. His consciousness also supplied an unwarranted “I’m gonna fuck you to death so good” in Kacchan’s husky voice.

 

“Ah!” Izuku exclaimed, realizing only now that his hand had absently crawled to his crotch. He bit his lip, unwilling to consider what this meant, really, but his head was far too… malfunctioning… to sort out his options.

 

He was going to hell for this.

 

Izuku kept reading anyway. He hadn’t noticed how his mouth was slightly open as his breaths started coming faster. The fingers around his clothed erection seemed to be a poor comparison to what his fictional counterpart was receiving but never mind, never mind.

 

 


 

 

 

“Z-Zero…!” Deku whimpered, eyes half-lidded as he felt his partner slamming into him over and over again without mercy. “Zero, I’m gonna… I’m gonna…!”

 

“Yeah.” Zero ran a tongue across his ear, not compromising the thrusts or his pace even as one of his hands snaked between them. “I want you to come for me, baby.”

 

 


 

 

 

Horrible pet names aside, Izuku’s brain short circuited. It was the only explanation as to why he plunged his hands in his shorts and started stroking his own hardness. It felt so sinfully good in its own right and half of Izuku’s brain was questioning whether this was grounds for his hero license to be revoked. But then the words on his phone were starting to get blurry and the fingers holding it were starting to feel weak. There was a strange feeling of pleasure bubbling from his stomach, ridding him of air. Izuku bit his lip as the words came to him as if the devil urging him on. He could feel hands on his hips, a breath on his neck, a body right behind him. Maybe that’s why his hips were moving on its own, thrusting into his hand like nothing else mattered.

 

He was close. He was almost there.

 

He was almost…

  


 

  

“Zero…!” Deku’s head threw back.

 

“That’s it… Come on...” Zero hissed, baring his teeth as he kept at his relentless pace. “Come for me, Deku.”

 

 


 

 

 

The words were lost as a white light flashed across his eyes. His world shook. His head spun. Pleasure washed over his senses as he yearned to say something—a name—to somehow make his orgasm hit harder.

 

Oh, but he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Shouldn’t.

 

“Kah… Kuh.. Knngghh…!” He turned his head and whined into the sheets as he shuddered, coming into his hand. “Kuuuhhh…”

 

He lay there for a few seconds, feeling his chest heave with every breath. The humming of the AC was suddenly so audible and the temperature in the room felt wrong against his sweaty skin. His bed felt empty, too, despite the fact that he had no experience sharing it with anyone before. And as his eyes focused on the trembling fingers that used to hold his phone, Izuku realized he hadn’t finished reading the story yet. His phone lay discarded face down, its screen light trying to escape from between its body and the mattress as if demanding to be picked up.

 

Izuku sighed. He didn’t really want to deal with what he just did. Besides, it was late and he had work tomorrow. It was only logical to stop now.

 

So he decided that after his nerves had settled down and he’d caught his breath, he was going to wash up and change from his sweaty clothes.

 

And then he was going to bed.

 

“Let me fuck you, Deku.”

 

He was absolutely going to bed!

 

Chapter Text

He was up until four-thirty in the morning.

 

Curiosity killed the cat, they said, but satisfaction brought it back. Midoriya Izuku would beg to differ. Curiosity made him stay up until witching hours, trying to make sense of how fanfiction of him and Kacchan existed in a wide variety of stories ranging from bees and butterflies to bondage and blindfolds.

 

After changing clothes and getting a grip, he found himself lying in bed and gawking at the ceiling. Waa! Too awake to try and sleep! So he ended up finishing the fic anyway. It was just one chapter that ended in Zero and Deku cuddling on the floor. They didn’t even get to the mission! But why!? Why would anyone not take a mission given by All Might of all people!? Did the younger generation no long realize who All Might was? Izuku wanted to curse. He tried looking at the author’s page to see if there was some other story related to it but only found more stories of him and Kacchan. All of them rated Explicit. What!? Why!? Unsatisfied, curious, and very much awake, he tried other Ground Zero/Deku stories by other authors just to see if they were all the same. They weren’t. There was, in fact, a wide variety of themes that Izuku couldn’t keep up with in one go.

 

Fluff. Smut. Fantasy AU. Office AU. Post Apocalyptic AU. Heroes as Villains AU. Medieval AU. Sci-Fi AU. Alchemy AU. Gender bends. (Izuku was in denial about how he’d let female Kacchan step on him.) Kinks. (Making “Deku” wear collars did seem like a Kacchan thing) And fifty thousand Cafe AUs that had were either delightfully sweet and nice interactions of people having coffee or tea or explicit action on the table (or in the backroom) after closing or before opening hours. Good luck finding anything in between that. Coffee shops were never going to look the same.

 

And that’s how he got drowned in one fic after another and then another and then it was morning.

 

The last story he read dragged on forever. It was ten chapters in and still ongoing. At the current point in the story, it was glaringly obvious that they had feelings for each other—in the story, of course, not in real life—so why on god’s green earth were they taking so long to develop into anything? And why did Izuku even care at this point? It wasn’t like this was a retelling of their lives. It was fiction. Fiction!

 

Okay, Izuku. He told himself. Breathe.

 

He was investing so many emotions in all this. All he wanted was a good story of him and Kacchan being Heroes or just being cool together or something. And it’s not like he didn’t find any. In fact, he found a lot! The problem was they still didn’t seem enough!


What was happening to him!?

 

Izuku turned to the comments section in hopes of better understanding the fans. It wasn’t helpful either.

 

Holy fuck, that was hot! Good job!

 

That was sexy! Holy shit!

 

They are so cuuuuute!

 

All the ZeKu fluff!

 

ZeKu gives me life! Bless you for sharing this! Please update soon!

 

ZeKu. It took him a short while to realize that oh, god, the fandom had a name for them. Well, not just them. There were other, um, relationships, too. Kacchan was paired with other heroes and so was Deku. Todoroki was paired with everyone. Even with himself.

 

The variety of combinations were very astounding. Izuku didn’t touch any of them but just reading the list made him wonder what the fans saw in this. All Might and Endeavor? All Might and Midnight? Nejire-chan and Froppy? Grape Juice and Eraserhead!? Excuse me? What was that madness!? Izuku had the nagging urge to send a message to ask why but he realized, hey, to each his own. It’s not like the authors made him find these. So Izuku just made it a point to stay away from some combinations for the sake of his own peace of mind. And by “some combinations”, he meant “literally anything that wasn’t ZeKu”. He still didn’t have the courage to ask himself why yet.

 

So yeah, some combinations were out of whack. Some even had up to four Heroes. What was that called? A love square? There was also Eraserhead and everyone. What was that, then? A love polygon? The tag list on that was insane.

 

One of Izuku’s favorites were there were even original characters! Where did the fans even get ideas to make up new Quirks? How very creative! He just wished he went into this frenzy prepared. This was supposed to be a trivial thing. He wasn’t expecting himself to be sucked into a fandom vortex and have a headache at seven in the morning! And what was even more disturbing was that he was still itching to read more. He wanted to take out his phone and read the short ones even now when he was about to report to work in full costume. So unprofessional! He was supposed to focus on real Hero work, not fictional ones!

 

But, god, the last thing he saw a G-Rated ZeKu one that had so much domestic fluff in the tags. It physically hurt to close his browser to avoid jumping into it. He hit bookmark on the page, though. He couldn’t bookmark the story because that meant he’d have to open it, which had a very high possibility of him “promising” to read the just first paragraph and then reading everything in its entirety anyway. That’s how he got deeper into this mess in the first place. It was like dipping a toe into what looked like shallow water and then getting dragged into the ocean floor by the Kraken.

 

Ah, perhaps this was something that would pass. It was a phase. Never mind if he was in his twenties. This meant nothing. It was just a phase. Only a phase.

 

“I’ll move on soon.” Izuku muttered to himself without knowing it. “I can’t be reading all this forever. There’s so much to do in life. I’m going to get bored eventually. This, too, shall pass. Everything passes. Everything...”

 

The large automatic glass doors opening with a soft hum made Izuku reorient himself with the real world as he made his way into the Hero HQ lobby. The large logo of the Heroes Alliance was the first thing he noticed. When the unification reforms pushed through, they changed the name from Pro Heroes Association to Heroes Alliance to reflect the change in management and mission-vision-goal. And that logo that represented the solidarity of Heroes was glaring at him right now. It knew he was guilty. It knew what he did last night.

 

You. Sinner.

 

“Mornin’, Midoriya!” Ashido Mina chimed, about to go out just as Izuku trudged inside. The first thing he wanted to ask her was why. Why did she not warn him of this hell? Or was he alone in this spiraling mess of fanfiction addiction? Who was she reading about? Had she seen what the fans had been writing about them in the E-rated stuff? Was there a way to cope? How long would these after effects last?

 

“Pinkyyyyyy! Hero naaaaaames!” Barked Iida, er, Ingenium, from the far end of the room. “We must use Hero names when on duty!”

 

“Oh, right. Sorry! Geez.” Pinky scratched her head. Five years of Pro Hero work and some of them still hadn’t gotten used to calling each other their Hero names. Everyone who belonged to the same class together had trouble with that. Sure, they were trained to use their Hero names during internship at UA, but still! Real names were easier!

 

“Good morning, Deku!” Ingenium’s ever so formal intonation broke Deku from his thought process. “Good morning, Pinky!”

 

“Morning, Ingenium!” Deku smiled and waved at his friend who nodded with his signature Iida salute-wave or something.

 

“Moooornin’...!” Pinky greeted back, imitating Ingenium’s gesture just for the heck. She looked like a pink doll, though. Deku found it funny.

 

Pinky shared that she was headed out for morning patrol shift on her designated area. Ingenium, on the other hand, was scheduled to meet with the Association of Fallen Heroes and certain insurance companies. He had been steadfastly working on his advocacies regarding getting benefits for Heroes who had been rendered out of commission due to issues in the line of duty. And for their families, too! That was so admirable.

 

And what was Deku doing?

Reading about the deep implications of Kacchan’s massive dick among other things. Urgh. Shame.

 

Seeing as they all had things to do, the three of them exchanged the last of their pleasantries and went on to start their day.

 

Deku made his way past the information desk, tapping his license card on a sensor to open a heavily tinted door. Behind it was a small pure white and really bright room with three rectangular sensors lined up horizontally on one side of the wall. Todoroki Shouto was already there and looked to be in the middle of logging in.

 

“Morning, Todoroki…!” Deku smiled as the door closed behind him.

 

“Morning, Deku.” Todoroki replied without moving from his spot where he was facing the wall.

 

Oh, right, Hero names.

 

There was a beep from the middle sensor before it started scanning IcyHot’s eyes. As soon as it was done, he stepped away from the machine but didn’t immediately exit via the other glass door across the room.

 

“I ran into Ingenium just now.” Deku began as he tapped his card on the first sensor to start logging on. There was one beep and Deku pressed his palm against the third sensor as soon as it lit up, ready to scan his hand print.

 

“Yeah. He’s been quite the busy man.” IcyHot nodded. “He’s been including mental health checks for Heroes, too. Regular check ups and assistance for those still in service. I’m thinking of helping him out with that.”

 

Wow. That was a mouthful all of a sudden. Not that Deku wasn’t expecting that. IcyHot wasn’t a man of many words but working on the reforms had made him talkative when it came to policies and advocacies especially to his friends. What was his mainly pushing for again? Oh, right. Hero education and training.

 

The middle sensor lit up for Deku’s retina scan.

 

“That would be helpful!” Deku exclaimed, trying not to blink as the lights made crisscross patterns over his eyeballs. Five years of this and he still wasn’t used to it.

 

“True. A lot of us need it without knowing it.”

 

Deku made an agreeing noise. But would mental health checks reflect what kind of kinks he had? Because after last night, he seriously wasn’t sure anymore and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to find out either. Not that it mattered, maybe? What’s important as a Hero was skill and heart. Kinks and fetishes aren’t, um, part of the job, right? He certainly hoped so.

 

Hold on a bit. Were his fanfiction issues weaseling itself into his daily thoughts during work hours? No! Improper! Get out! Get out!

 

“Do you have patrol duty today?” IcyHot asked as he motioned to turn, waiting for Deku so they could walk together. They didn’t get to do this often with how busy everyone was.

 

“Yeah! My shift starts at eleven.” Deku said as they made their way towards the elevators. “But I’m coordinating with Springee for some paperwork first.”

 

“Springee. So…” IcyHot rubbed his chin thoughtfully, scrunching his eyebrows in thought before blinking and going, “Sixth floor?”

 

“Yep!” Deku gave him a thumbs up and IcyHot smiled, obviously pleased with himself for having remembered that. He was trying so hard to make sure he took note of these little details about everyone. It was part of his goal to constantly improve his social skills. Sometimes he overdid it, but Deku didn’t really have the heart to tell him. His friend was trying so hard and he wasn’t going to be the one to crush those efforts. It was, however, a little amusing and maybe a bit funny, that IcyHot’s aloofness was regarded as him being calm and collected. Well, yeah, he was indeed calm and collected but that wasn’t really everything. Oftentimes, he was quiet because he was either observing or didn’t know how to behave so he just stood there awkwardly, trying not to be a nuisance. But when it came to fighting, IcyHot would go with guns blazing once his blood got hot enough to boil. And a very angry IcyHot was nowhere close to calm and collected. Furious IcyHot was basically Half-and-half Kacchan.

 

Those fanfic writers don’t even know what they’re talking about. Deku thought to himself.

 

Aaaaaa! Noooo! He was being mean! Of course, they wouldn’t know what IcyHot or any of the Pro Heroes were truly like! They could only work with what they saw (in Kacchan’s words: Doing PR is a bitch) so their interpretation was limited and diverse. There was creative freedom to consider. Besides, they were sharing their work for free. Deku was an ingrate.

 

“I’m headed for the third floor.” IcyHot said as he pressed the up button on the panel. The elevator chimed. The sides of the doors lit up to signal that it was on its way down.

 

“Say… Have you ever thought of buying anything for yourself?” Deku asked all of a sudden as he adjusted his gloves. “You know, as a reward for working so hard?”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t know.” Deku shrugged as he looked at his friend. “A Namborghini? Red with white accents?”

 

“A Namborghini is expensive.” IcyHot tilted his head like he couldn’t believe this was a suggestion from Deku. “It doesn’t feel right for me to have one.”

 

And then he launched into a very calm explanation about his views on humility and simplicity. IcyHot had no problems with Heroes spending extravagantly if they could afford it. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want to look good, too. However, it was one of his personal goals to keep his image simple and yet elegant in his own way.

 

Good answer. Someone should ask him that in an interview to give fans a better insight on IcyHot’s view on things.

 

Before anyone else could say anything, the elevator doors opened with another chime. But just as Deku and IcyHot stepped inside, someone came roaring at them from behind.

 

“Yo, hold the fuckin’ door!”

 

Deku almost dropped to play dead. He knew that voice and that manner of speech all too well. Just hearing it made him do nothing but stand there and stare dumbly at the elevator wall with his back facing the door.

 

He was coming into the elevator. This elevator. With Deku.

 

“Hurry up.” IcyHot said audibly enough as the sound of heavy footsteps entered.

 

Oh, thank god for IcyHot. He didn’t have to be alone with… with...

 

“Fuck you, Half-and-half.” Person-who-Deku-didn’t-want-to-think-about-right-now huffed and grunted. “Eighth floor.”

 

“It’s IcyHot, Zero.” Their heterochromatic friend said sharply but pressed the button for him anyway.

 

“I don’t care.” Kacchan growled. He sounded stressed. The elevator doors closed. Deku was barely breathing.

 

“We’re supposed to use Hero names while on duty.”

 

Oh. Dear. Lord. Deku would have a nervous breakdown if he heard himself refer to Kacchan as Zero. There was no guarantee that the name wouldn’t come out as a mangled moan. This was not the time to test that. He was not prepared at all!

 

“Yeah, but we’re in a fuckin’ elevator right now and no one really cares.” Kacchan was grounding the words out of his mouth, his voice starting to increase in volume. “Also, my Hero name is Ground Zero, not Zero. Zero means nothing. I am not nothing. So until you bunch’a morons start calling me right, get the fuck off my case.”

 

Deku’s inappropriate brain reminded him of coming across a daddy kink that he really wanted to erase from his memory.

 

“Zero.” IcyHot’s tone was levelled but assertive.

 

“Oh, please!” Kacchan only groaned loudly and threw himself heavily on the wall to lean right next to Deku who fidgeted with an “Eep!” But Kacchan didn’t even address him. And maybe that was for the better.

 

Deku was realizing what scanners must have felt like as his eyes moved on its own to discreetly study the man next to him. Oh, god, Kacchan was decked in full Hero gear. His mask was loosely tied around his thick neck like a scarf. His compact bracers suited him really nicely. Sure, the grenade ones from way back then did fit a theme but they were way too bulky. These ones looked more… appealing. And practical, too. Thank heavens for Hatsume Mei.

 

And, yes, that fic was right—those arms. But also, had Kacchan’s shoulders always been… that… meaty?

 

Deku was now understanding the urge to bite his knuckles as a means to cope. And as his eyes drifted lower, he wondered… What else was that fic right about?

 

“I’m about to get off a twelve-hour shift, IcyHalf! Give me a fuckin’ break!” Zero’s booming voice snapped Deku out of his escalating day-dream.

 

“Twelve hours?!” Deku exclaimed, finally finding a drop of normalcy to fuel his being so that he could properly look at the blonde Explosion Hero. Working for twelve hours was not an easy task even for someone like Kacchan. What had he been doing? Had he been fighting? Since when did he have this monster shift? Had he been overworking himself often with painstakingly long schedules again?

 

“Vesuvius’ wife was about to give birth and someone had to cover for him.” Kacchan said. He glared at the door as if willing it to stop for no one. “Guess which idiot volunteered?”

 

Oh. That was… actually kind of nice. Still, though, it was tiring. Were there no other heroes? Why did no one tell him? Deku could’ve split the hours with him. Kacchan was already too workaholic as it is! What was he doing the entire twelve hours? Was it something too physical? Too strenuous? Was he on patrol? Where? All night? Had he taken a nap at least? Kacchan loved sleeping. He’d be so grumpy without it. Was he having the right amount of water intake to keep himself hydrated? Did he take regular water or energy drinks? How was he feeling? Should he go to the infirmary and be checked just to be sure? Deku would take him if he wanted. Or needed. Because Kacchan probably wouldn’t want to be accompanied to the doctor’s office.

 

“Are you okay, Kacchan?”

 

That was the only question he could throw out. IcyHot didn’t say anything about using the nickname instead of the Hero name. Thank god.

 

“It’s a twelve hour shift, Deku. Take a wild fucking guess.”

 

He was too worried to even address the fact that he was called “Deku”. He was more invested in getting Kacchan to tell him a bit more of how he was doing.

 

“I… I’m sorry. Have you had breakfast?”

 

“I’ve had some food at some point if you call that an answer.” Kacchan huffed, obviously trying to actively dial down his hostility amidst his frustration and irritability. Deku could tell with the little fidgets he was doing to make himself settle down. “I gotta talk to HR to somehow offset my god damn hours and get my sched back on track. Uuuuurgh, I hate paperwork. Why can’t paperwork do themselves!? What’s a man got to do to get some action around here?!”

 

“If by action you mean violence and fighting, isn’t it much better that everything is peaceful?” IcyHot said, looking at the row of numbers lighting up above the door.

 

“By action, I mean action.” Kacchan crossed his strong arms over his broad chest. Deku tried not to gulp. “Something that makes me move and pump adrenaline. Come on, Half-and-half, you’re supposed to be smart.”

 

Heaven smite him now. Deku’s mind just flipped a switch and went back to go through all of the naughty fanfictions he had been reading because if Kacchan wanted “action” then—Nooooooo. No, no, no. No. They were friends. Friends. This was a phase. It was going to pass. Get back to worrying about Kacchan. Get back to worrying!

 

“Hmm.” IcyHot rubbed his chin again. “Would you like to be sent on a mission somewhere? Mountains, maybe? Deal with brigands or whatnot?”

 

Hearing the word “mission” was not helping Deku’s case any. If he ended up sporting a visible erection in this elevator with Kacchan, he wouldn’t know what he’d do.

 

“Oh, fuck me, I’m too tired to make decisions right now.” Kacchan replied grumpily, running his large hand with thick fingers down his exasperated face. “But, yeah, I’d consider that.”

 

“Mmhm.” IcyHot nodded. If he said anything before or after that, Deku wasn’t sure because his ears started ringing as soon as the words fuck me left Kacchan’s mouth. Also, nnnghh. Kacchan’s mouth.

 

The elevator doors opened.

 

“I’ll see what I can do, Zero.” IcyHot said as he stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway. “See you around.”

 

“Yeah. See ya.” Kacchan nodded at him as they watched the elevator doors close with a “ding”.

 

And then silence. Deku was not sure what he was supposed to do now. He was in an elevator with Kacchan. But his brain had a rather more creative way of putting that. He was alone in a small closed space with Kacchan and his well-defined arms, nicely toned torso, and very meaty shoulders. Nothing was really happening but Deku was starting to feel plenty turned on that it was beginning to feel awkward. And knowing Kacchan, he’d know that right away. The right course of action here was to actually do or say something to break the ice and—

 

“What is it?” Kacchan’s question caught Deku so off-guard that he jumped a little as quickly whipped his head towards his childhood friend with amazing arms.

 

“What?”

 

“What’s got you?” He asked again.

 

“I…” Deku began, not sure where Kacchan was going with this. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

 

Oh. Why did that line sound familiar? Deku wondered for a while until Kacchan uncrossed his arms with a frown. Suddenly this small cramped space that was an elevator reminded Deku so much of a particular locker room.

 

His throat went dry.

 

“Don’t play dumb with me, you shitty nerd.” said Kacchan.

 

Deku was not sure if those were alarm sirens or party music that was ringing in his head because he knew that line, too. So much so that his next words just came out like an automatic response.

 

“Wh-what are you saying?”

 

Kacchan pushed himself off the wall. Deku’s heart felt like it was going to Full Cowl the hell out of his ribcage. All the fics were coming back to him. Was he going to be slammed on the wall? Wait, no, this was an elevator. They were going to get caught!

 

Dear god, if Kacchan followed script—

 

“I’m saying…”

 

—then Deku would—

 

“...you look tired.”

 

—have to—Wait, did he say tired?

 

“O-oh… Um...” Deku closed his mouth immediately before he could say something like “That’s not how it goes.”

 

“You’ve been juggling patrolling and mountains of paperwork recently, haven’t you?” Kacchan sounded a bit annoyed but not really angry. There was concern laced in there somewhere. Deku wasn’t sure how he could tell.

 

“You’re starting to have dark circles under your eyes.” Kacchan gestured in the general direction of his face.

 

“A-ah…! Well…” Deku scratched his head as he smiled wanly, unsure how to proceed. He was feeling fluffy and horny. Not really a combination he was used to. It was so, so confusing. Like a puberty re-run except there was no such thing.

 

“It’s not been... I just… Didn’t get enough sleep last night is all! Got carried away doing some stuff at home. You know how it is.”

 

Kacchan’s only response was to keep frowning at Deku. Something about how his mask was loosely bunched up under his jaw just right to cover the tip of his chin made Deku’s stomach do flips. It made him doubly conscious at how he was on the receiving end of Kacchan’s heavy stare. Not that he hadn’t experienced that before. It’s just that… Right now… Deku wasn’t… Wasn’t… Wasn’t functioning right?

 

“Get some fuckin’ sleep, you shrimp.” Kacchan finally leaned back on the elevator wall again and Deku was too captivated by the sight of his arms crossing over his chest to realize that the doors had slid open. He stood there blinking until Kacchan made a face and tilted his head saying, “Hey. Isn’t this your floor?”

 

“O-oh!” Deku almost jumped, looking around and trying to find the door because he’d forgotten directions so suddenly. “Yeah…! I…” He stepped out of the elevator, twisted at the waist, not wanting to take his eyes off Kacchan yet. “Y-you sure you’re okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Kacchan nodded at him, lifting one finger as if to gesture a wave without uncrossing his arms. “Later, nerd.”

 

And perhaps Deku imagined it but just before the doors closed, he thought he saw Kacchan smile.

 

His heart immediately launched into AADKAHDLAKDHAKJDHKDL

 

It was only for less than a second but the corner of his lips pulled up slightly and revealed a small toothy half-grin or something that made Deku’s heart beat so hard, the vibrations rippled through his joints, searing into his bones and—”Hiiiiiiieeeeeeee!”—Deku squealed. He covered his face to muffle whatever sound he was spewing out as he went down, crouching on the floor. He wasn’t sure why his knees felt like it wanted to come apart or why there was a sudden urge to roll around the floor. Maybe because his face felt like it was burning right up to the ears?

 

“Good morning, Deku-ku—Eh?” Uraraka’s voice barely registered because Deku couldn’t really focus on anything else right now. Not with Kacchan’s possibly-imagined-smile burned into his retinas that the scanner was going to probably detect it on his next log on.

 

“Deku-kun?” She sounded a bit concerned. After all, why was her friend crouched in front of the elevator? Someone came out of the elevator door next to it and was quite startled to see Deku curled and mumbling to himself.

 

“Deku-kun!” Uraraka tapped him on the shoulder and only then did his system start working again. Deku-kun jumped up with a very startled squeak and Uraraka shrieked at him with equal surprise.

 

“U-U-U-Uraraka-san!” Deku was trying to tell himself to breathe. Stop thinking of Kacchan’s smile. Breathe. Function. Oh, god. Oh, god. Ohgodohgodohgod. Say something that isn’t AJSDHALKDHAKDHADK!!

 

“G-good morning!” He began waving like a horrible Iida Tenya bootlegged action figure. “He-hello! I-I-I-I-I-I’m here to see Springee! F-f-f-f-for paperwork!”

 

“S-Springee…” Uraraka’s eyes were rather shifty but worried. “Springee won’t be here ‘til eight. It’s only past seven.”

 

Deku looked at his right wrist only to realize that his digital watch was embedded on the wrist of his left glove. Damn it. Stupid Kacchan giving brain-hijacking smiles so early in the morning!

 

“Are you... okay?” Uraraka sounded hesitant to ask. Deku couldn’t really blame her.

 

“O-oh! Yeah! Yeah, I’m okay!” Deku laughed, trying to sound upbeat as he did weird and wide gestures that made Uraraka take one step back.  “I… I just had less than ideal number of hours of sleep last night. See? The dark circles under my eyes say it all!”

 

He gestured at his face. Uraraka tilted her head and scrunched her eyebrows.

 

“Hmm? What circles?” She blinked at him and squeezed his face between her palms to keep him from moving so she could take a better look. Uraraka’s usually wide eyes squinted at him as her cheeks puffed in deep observation. It wasn’t long before her eyebrows shot up in conclusion.

 

“Oh, yeah, you do have dark circles under your eyes! But only if I look at you really closely.”


“Eh?” Deku tilted his head, feeling his cheeks with his gloved fingers like he could confirm the presence of said circles just by touching. “Th-they’re not obvious?”

 

“No, not at all!”

 

They weren’t obvious. One had to look at him really closely, really hard to notice the dark circles under his eyes.

 

And Kacchan noticed them.

 

So did that mean… Did that mean that… That Kacchan was… Kacchan was… Really observant? Or… Or did that mean...

 

Apparently, overanalyzing that was too much because the mere thought of Bakugou Katsuki staring at him intently enough to notice what was almost unnoticeable sent Deku into another shrieking-crouching episode in front of the elevators.

 

What’s happening to me!?

Chapter Text

Being born Quirkless, Deku was no stranger to needing or asking for help. And neither was he unfamiliar with figuring things out on his own. Sometimes he liked to think the everything that had happened in his life were for the purpose of using One For All and becoming the best hero he could be. Well, the rankings had been abolished but that didn’t mean he couldn’t strive to be the best in his own little way.

 

So why again was he sitting on top of a water tower under the scorching midday sun, hood up and hunched over his phone with a slightly forgotten, half-eaten sandwich and drink next to him?

 

Because he was learning , that’s why.

 

And because he cared .

 


 

Zero walked like a broken toy that someone left switched on. One of his arms were broken and Deku was willing to bet that a couple of his ribs weren’t doing so hot either. He needed to have one hand on the arched wall to help him move along. That’s how injured he was.

 

Mangled as he was, however, Zero still was a force to reckon with. Driven by his unshakable will, he managed to drag himself out of bed to don his costume—broken bracer be damned—with splotches of blood on his torn mask and haphazard bandages around his bruised and battered torso.

 

But Deku wasn’t going to let him get out of the bunker. It was dangerous out there even for Zero. Or rather, especially for someone as injured as Zero.

 

“Get the fuck out of my face.” He growled when Deku blocked his way. “I’m fine.

 

Zero coughed blood for the fourth time since he got up.

 

“What are you talking about?” Deku wanted to pick him up and carry him back to bed.
“You took Lymphsis’ energy projectile head on! You’re still bleeding! You’re anything but fine!”

 

“I said get the fuck out of my face!”

 

“And I fucking said you’re not fine !”

 

“I’m going to fight him!” Gnashed teeth. Frustrated voice. Desperate. Aggressive. “I’m going to find him and take him down once and for all!”

 


 

Uuuugh. Stubborn Kacchan in any universe never failed to make Deku’s head throb and his heart ache. There was so much back and forth of how Zero should just rest and regain his strength. Story Deku was so, so, so concerned and real-life Deku was a hundred percent on board with keeping Zero in the bunker. He had no business picking fights with a new villain just because he felt guilty over its existence.

 

Reading this story hurt . This hurt so bad but it also hurt so good . Did that even make sense ? Why was he doing this to himself? Maybe Deku should considering helping IcyHot and Ingenium with that mental health advocacy they were pushing. He might need it after discovering this new hobby.

 


 

“I don’t have to listen to you.” Zero said, breath getting ragged all of a sudden. “Who the fuck do you think y—”

 

He coughed. Blood spurted out of his mouth, staining his lips. This time, he was sure to fall and fuck if Deku’s going to ever let him fall.

 

“Zero!” Deku caught him just in time, sliding his Zero’s arm to let it rest over his shoulders and help Zero stand up. “Are you okay? Oh my god, please say you’re okay.”

 

Zero’s response was to cough more blood.

 

It hurt. It hurt seeing him like this. It hurt so bad.

 


 

Tell me about it. ” Deku grumbled, lifting one knee so he could rest his cheek on it. His phone was hanging from a long coiled cord around his neck so he could rest it on his other leg without worrying about it falling to the concrete below. Without looking away from the screen, Deku tried feeling for his sandwich, missed, and gave up in two seconds flat in favor of resuming his reading activity.

 


 

“Hey.” Deku began in the softest whisper he could. “Look, I know you’re frustrated. Everyone is. But I know you’re too smart not to understand that this is—”

 

He wasn’t sure what it was he said wrong but something must’ve been not right because Zero immediately snarled and bared his gnashed teeth. This took Deku aback, which was an ample opening for Zero to shove him towards the wall and press an arm against his neck to keep him in place.

 

“Don’t you fucking patronize me, you piece of shit!” Zero growled shakily, angrily, frustratedly . Deku wasn’t sure what was going on all of a sudden.

 

“No one’s ever sure.” Deku sighed, finally finding his burger when his pinky hit the wrapper by accident. He bit on it and chewed lazily. “Welcome to my life .”

 

Because, really, who cared if he’s having a heart-to-heart conversation with a piece of fan-made literature?

   


 

 "What do you know, Deku? You with the natural talent that everyone sings praises to? You with the sunshine smile that makes people bend to your will? You that’s the epitome of happiness and all that is right in this world? You that everyone loves?”

 

“Ze—”

 

Shut up! ” Zero hollered, lowering his head, chest heaving. It was too much effort for him to talk but if this argument was keeping him from going out and getting himself killed then Deku was taking it.

 

“You’re so used to being important to everyone...” Zero coughed. Blood trickled down the side of his lip. “But not to me, Mister Symbol of Hope, sir! I’m different!” He coughed again. He winced. He brushed that off. “So you can take all your patronizing words and shove ‘em up your ass because they’re worth shit , you hear me!?“

 

The last few words echoed in the tunnel but the emotions that bounced back and forth were far more dangerous and scathing. Zero’s heavy breathing filled the space between them. It made Deku’s heart ache how he could feel Zero trembling against him, one barely working arm against his neck in an attempt to make a desperate point.

 

Your words hurt. He wanted to tell Zero. You’re hurting me.

 

He thought he’d heard everything. He thought he could stand anything. But hearing Zero say he was worthless was just… Gut-wrenching.

 

“Worth shit, huh?”

 

Deku’s not just tired.

 

“So nothing, then?”

 

He’s exhausted.

 

“They mean nothing?”

 

And he was so, so hurt.

 

“All my words.” Deku slowly pushed Zero away because he’s just about had enough of everything . “All that I do.”

 

He looked up because he wanted to see Zero’s face when he asked this question.

 

“Do they mean nothing to you?”

 

-END CHAPTER-

 


 

“Ugh. This fic gets it .” Deku mumbled to himself as he paused to take a bit out of his sandwich and a quick sip. He was taking back whatever he said about fanfic writers not knowing what they were talking about. This one was spot on. Minus Deku being “naturally talented” and Kacchan being “number two”, of course. And also that bit about him giving up on Kacchan (Deku would never ). Aside from that, everything else was spot on . All these feelings! This was what he felt during that confrontation in the elevator about Kacchan’s twelve-hour shift. Miiiiiinus the injury and the post-apocalyptic setting and blood-coughing but, yeah. That was how he felt.

 

Amped up a bit.

 

Just a tiny bit.

 

Okay, so maybe Deku was overreacting and reading into this a little too deep. In his defense, this fic was so relatable to all his feelings that every little thing he’d felt about Kacchan along the way just suddenly washed over like an immense tidal wave. It was so disappointing to be allowed to give kudos only once .

 

He wanted to forward this link to Kacchan with a caption that says “OMFG look, this is us”. Except the story really was about them but not really them and explaining that to Kacchan would be so tedious. So, just... Never mind. He’d share this with Pinky but he wasn’t sure how she would react to him being like this over Kacchan. Deku had no idea how he could explain his feelings to her if ever she would ask (she would definitely ask and pry for details). He didn’t really think he showed any previous signs of having this sort of inclination towards Kacchan. He was willing to bet even Uravity would be surprised.

 

They were friends.

 

He had always been so clear about that.

 

And now… Now, they were still friends but Deku… Well, um, he was starting to do some this-is-not-something-that-a-friend-would-do things. He wasn’t sure. He did promise himself to think about it off-duty, though.

 

After making sure he had securely tucked his phone into one of his inside pockets, Deku stretched his legs. The wind blew as if to welcome him back from the fanfic world into the real world. His break was going to be over soon.

 

“So this is Kacchan’s designated area, huh?” Deku said lowly, taking another bite from his sandwich as he looked at the city spread out around him. He was glad he found this water tank spot. It’s height and location allowed him a good view of a big part of the area while he was on break. The glaring sun was an issue, but nothing he couldn’t handle.

 

Earlier today following the Elevator Episode™, after he’d finished whatever business he had with Springee (and after he made sure that Kacchan was out of the building), he went to the human resources office to ask if there was anyone who was covering Kacchan’s area yet. Someone was already volunteering when he got there. It was Smackbang, an intern from last year.

 

The first thing Deku noticed was his long and beautiful eyelashes . And then his hair. His short but silky locks were faded pink, it was almost peach with faded blonde highlights and had nice little flips at the ends, bangs falling just below his eyebrows. His entire theme was a pale orange and white, as if to complement his hair, and highlights of black. That large X over his chest reminded Deku of something. He even had two dots on the lower left. His boots… His boots looked so familiar, too.

 

Deku was eyeing that one spiky black and orange earring on his ear when he just burst out that he was a self-proclaimed number one Ground Zero fan.

 

Oh.

 

Haha.

 

NO.

 

So maybe it was a little petty and immature on Deku’s part but he did everything in his power to be granted a temporary switch.

 

Deku’s area was closer to HQ, which was more ideal for the “new guy” to handle. While Smackbang wasn’t a total newbie, giving him jurisdiction over a location that’s as wide as Ground Zero’s for his first patrolling experience, albeit temporarily, might be too sudden. After all, the area was assigned to Ground Zero primarily because it was one of the zones with a higher crime rate. Giving it to a less experienced Hero, even for a day, might not be a great idea (regardless of how many Ground Zero trinkets he had in his arsenal).

 

It also helped Deku’s cause that another newbie, Altitude, wanted to try out patrolling so the two younger heroes were sent as pairs to cover Deku’s area. Deku, in turn, was in charge of Kacchan’s area until he got back. Great!

 

Deku was pretty pleased with himself in the first few minutes after the approval, but the more he thought about it, the more he wondered if initiating The Switch™ was uncharacteristic of him. Was he now becoming what they called “out of character”? Wait, how was that even possible? Wasn’t he, like, him ? So whatever he did was his character and therefore in-character ? And wasn’t this world he was living in different from the world in the fic? Wait, what was the first question again?

 

Said question was immediately lost as soon as Smackbang approached him, shook his hand, and basically rattled off about how “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sir Deku! I’m Ground Zero’s super duper ultra number one fan! I’ve read so much about you in my quest to learn more about him! I think it’s absolutely amazing that you’re using the nickname he gave you. I mean, I’d totally do the same thing if he gave me a nickname. Unngghh, I wish. You call him Kacchan, don’t you? Man, wouldn’t it have been something if he used that name, too, so you’re, like, back and forth? But alas—Ground Zero.”

 

Ooooooh. Hearing this kid say Kacchan struck nerves that Deku never even knew existed.

 

But Deku wasn’t a Pro Hero for nothing. Note to self: this wasn’t anything personal. This child was a fan. A fan . Just as Deku himself was to All Might. He should be encouraging and appreciative of his efforts. Surely, this was doable. IcyHot, Ingenium, and Creati were dealing with businessmen, politicians, support groups, and activists. Compared to that, Deku was pretty sure that him being positive towards a new and younger Hero was cakewalk .

 

So he smiled and was “encouraging”. And he tried to not look like he wanted to just bolt out of there to scream and question the universe when Smackbang started asking him a fuckton of questions about Ground Zero. He even pulled out his phone to record their conversation, muttering something about transcripts and encoding the information onto a wiki.

 

What was he like growing up? (A jerk, really.) What major did he take before coming to UA? What subject did he excel in? Which seat did he favor in class? Where did he hang out? How popular was he? These were things about that Deku felt like he was special for knowing better than the entire Hero community. He felt hesitant on sharing. He wasn’t sure what he said, really.

 

“Just don’t let him hear you calling him Kacchan.” Deku said as they shook hands again before they parted ways. “ I get away with it coz we’ve known each other all our lives.”

 

“Aaaah…! I’d like to be able to call him something like GZ!” His pretty golden eyes sparkled as he batted his long eyelashes. A small blush came up to his cheeks. “You know, something that’s unique for me. It’s a stretch but a boy can dream.”

 

A boy can dream, indeed.

 

Maybe he was getting old. That little thing with Smackbang was petty but he was irritated for hours . If a villain showed up, there was no guarantee that Deku wouldn’t learn a new massive skill of frustration release to use on the poor thing. He’d call it the Milky Way Galaxy Smash or whatever.

 

So on his break, he decided to look for some reading material to help soothe his nerves. He had bookmarked the G-Rated ZeKu fluff but he was seriously not in the mood to get into tooth-rotting sugar anything. One look at the summary of a particular story tagged with angst and graphic depictions of violence and Deku knew this was it . The setting was in a post-apocalyptic world with Zero being indirectly responsible for failing to properly dispose of a villain. So aside from dealing with the growing threat of this new deadly villain, Deku had to be there for Zero who was self-destructing from being consumed by guilt and insecurity. Not that Zero was making it any easier with his pride and habit of pushing Deku away .

 

Urgh. Preach .

 

Wow. Reading a fic was like having a friend next to him except the friend did all the talking. It was a matter of finding the right one, though. There was no denying, after all, that some fics out there just barely made sense . Just like friends.

 

What did it say of him that he was actually taking guidance from fanfiction ?

 

But, hey, he managed to use One For All, didn’t he? So if Deku could learn how to deal with a Quirk that featured stockpiled power then there was no reason he couldn’t handle the amalgamation of ideas known as fanfiction. He just needed to get the hang of it all. Pinky looked to be functioning normally. Why couldn’t he?

 

“The fuck you doing here?”

 

The familiar voice came with a shadow casting heavily on Deku.

 

“Hiiieee!” He screeched in surprise, almost spilling his juice. Behind him, Kacchan was standing with hands in the pockets of his baggy shorts. His wind pulled at the material of his orange undershirt as his open button up shirt flapped angrily behind him. The glare of the sun was behind him so Deku couldn’t see his face but he didn’t really need to see to know that Kacchan was holding a raised eyebrow and a glower.

 

“K-K-K-Kacchan!” Deku adjusted the hood of his costume to shield his eyes from the sun. It was also an amazing not-so-obvious way to spy at the small strip of skin that was peeking from between the end of Kacchan’s shirt and his low-riding pants. “W-w-w-what are you doing here!?”

 

“This is my area, genius .” Kacchan said as he walked closer, his heavy boots making hollow metallic sounds with every step against the water tank. “Answer my question.”

 

Oh, this workaholic piece of hot ass . The current Hero system had mandatory days off to keep them from overworking themselves. Leave it to Kacchan to establish a work pace that offset any rest he’d been forced to take.

 

“You’re supposed to be resting!” Deku reasoned, his exasperated tone being drowned by the wind. He put down his juice. “You were on a twelve-hour shift !”

 

Deku’s brain immediately kicked off to compute how many hours of sleep he could’ve gotten.

 

“None of your business.” Kacchan’s prominent red eyes narrowed. “Answer the question. What are you doing here? If you make me ask again—”

 

“I’m covering for you!” Deku exclaimed immediately.

 

“No. Smackbang was covering for me.”

 

That nerve that Deku initially never thought existed was just confirmed to be definitely there if only to pop on his forehead and make a statement. Just the mention of the name from Kacchan’s lips made his eye twitch and his jaw tighten.

 

“Wha—Well, your area was deemed too much for him to handle so we had to swap.” Deku stood up a little aggressively but nothing too wild. “He’s covering my area with Altitude.”

Kacchan made a low sound. Deku wanted so much to punch him right now for no good reason than “WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME OF THIS FANBOY HOW DARE YOU KEEP SECRETS FROM ME DID THE YEARS WE’VE SPENT TOGETHER MEAN NOTHING TO YOU IS IT HIS PERFECT SKIN IS IT HIS EYELASHES”

 

Devoid of punctuation marks. Overflowing with feelings. Pointless feelings, but still feelings.

 

“Hmph. The twerp didn’t text me that.” The blonde man said as he felt for his phone. He hated how Kacchan was so indifferent about this while Deku was just internally livid . Perhaps this was how Kacchan felt all the time except he got angry over little things like, um, a twig in the wrong place?

 

“Tiny fucker can send memes but not texts when it counts.”

 

Oh? Really? So they have some sort of texting correspondence now? How nice . What was next? Nudes? He had a “ZeKu sending nudes to each other” fic bookmarked just for research. Maybe they’d like a damn link ?

 

“You’re texting buddies?” The question was out before Deku could weigh the pros and cons of even prolonging the discussion about Smackbang. He knew Kacchan was going to say something like “none of your business” again.


“We’re connected on LINE.” Kacchan replied with a grunt as he fiddled with his phone before looking up at Deku from under his bangs. “Where the fuck did you get texting buddies from anything I said?”


“I don’t know. Why would anyone send memes to strangers?” Deku shot back again without thinking. This was starting to become a bad pattern but he couldn’t stop himself. “Besides, how was I supposed to know? What do I know if he calls you Kacchan, too?”

 

Kacchan’s right eye twitched. He was getting impatient. Great. That made two of them. Maybe they could do those things in fics where they yell at each other and end up kissing passionately. Was there a fic out there set on water tank yet? Just tear off their clothes. See where it went. Deku was thinking arrest, license revocation, social ruin, and eternal damnation.

 

But Kacchan was Kacchan. So he just very slowly lowered his phone and glowered .

 

“If he calls me anything but Ground Zero, I’ma ground his face to zero. He knows that.” He was seriously annoyed but Deku knew it wasn’t at the possibility of Smackbang calling him a nickname. Kacchan was pissed at Deku’s behavior right now. “Why the hell are you even asking this? Did he refer to me as that? You better fucking tell me and be honest or else —”

 

“He didn’t.” Deku wasn’t sure where he got the courage to cut him off but he did anyway as he turned around to sit and look at the city. “It was just an example.”

 

And then he plopped down cross-legged on the water tank with a hollow thunk. He was fully aware about how he was being unreasonable but it was… really… kind of difficult? He wasn’t sure. This wasn’t the first time someone wanted Kacchan’s attention. In fact, there had already been previous instances where people—men, women, people with unidentified genders—expressed interest in him. Kacchan was attractive and amazing after all. Deku had known that all his life. But none of them felt like a threat to him. Or them. What them? Was there a them? It’s just that… Deku was just… Maybe… Acknowledging that… He had… Urgh. This was so not the time to sort out his innermost feelings.

 

I wish I had pretty eyelashes, too.

 

“So…” Kacchan said as he kept on standing next to him. “...Why is your confrontational sleep-deprived ass the one covering my area?”

 

"Eh? Why not?!” Deku balled gripped the soles of his heavy shoes as he whipped his head quickly towards his childhood friend . “Do the things I do mean nothing to you?!”

 

“What the hell !?” Kacchan darted his head back, face warping in a very aggressively confused expression.“What the fuck are you on?”

 

Oops. The fic was rubbing off on him. He didn’t mean for his newfound hobby to affect his real-life interactions this much . Deku immediately closed his mouth, looked away, and changed the subject.

 

“How did you even find me here?”

 

Find you ? Don’t flatter yourself.” Kacchan spoke as he walked around the water tank to look at the city he was here to see. “This is one of the spots I go to when I’m on break. You can see a good deal of the area from here if you don’t mind the sun. The fuck are you doing here ?”

 

“Same reason.” Deku grumbled. “You’re not the only one who thinks this is a good observation spot.”

 

Kacchan clicked his tongue and stopped walking.

 

“What in the fuck are you being so damn hostile for!?”

 

My eyelashes! Deku wanted to scream but at this point, bringing up Smackbang would only be counterproductive. And pointless.

 

“What are you doing here!?” Deku turned his head slightly. “You should be resting!”

 

“The fuck are you nagging me for!?” Kacchan all but hollered. He was trying to keep all his extra aggression down and in check. Deku opened his mouth to say something more but Kacchan interrupted.

 

“I did sleep. As you can see, I’ve woken up already .” Kacchan looked at the city again as if he was going to get some patience from it. “I just thought I’d check out the perimeter a bit and shit.” He turned the other way.

 

“You’re supposed to rest for longer!”

 

Kacchan took a deep, deep breath. Deku knew that was not for more patience. That was him actually giving up on patience .

 

Here comes the fireworks.

 

“Okay, fucker. Spit it out.” Kacchan marched towards him, heavy footsteps against metal. “I’ve been so generously patient with you since I fucking got here. What the fuck is wrong with you ?” Kacchan towered over him. Frowned. Glared. Bared his teeth.

 

All Deku could think of was “Well, at least he’s looking at me now.”

 

“So what’ll it be!? Do you wanna fucking go, nerd?!” There were little explosions as he raised his left hand. “‘Coz I’m a fuck you up to kingdom come with my fists if you want to, Chosen One . Go on! Get up and come at me! Fucking bitch , I’ma take you apart and see what’s wrong with you!”

 

Great. Deku just reinstated Explodo Murder King to the throne. Good job.

 

This wasn’t the first time Kacchan yelled at him and to be honest, he’s heard harsher words from him. But for some reason, Deku just wanted to curl and cry. Kacchan was right to be pissed. Deku was being unreasonably hostile, indeed. There was just really no way he could tell anyone about how he was just really upset about Smackbang, not that it was anyone’s fault but Deku’s. So he just pulled up his legs, put his arms on his knees, and his chin on his arms.

 

“No… I don’t wanna fight.” He sighed, eyeing the city as he mumbled. “I’m sorry. I’m just... tired is all.”

 

This situation was definitely going to be filed under T-rating (or M for expletive language?), tagged with angst, argument, and ugly eyelashes. Deku hated his brain for feeding him that very useless and unnecessary information in a situation like this.

 

Kacchan didn’t say anything loud for a few good seconds. There was the sound of growling and mumbling. He was probably counting to ten thousand, trying to rein in his patience to keep himself from pushing Deku and his ugly eyelashes off this water tower. And as if a response to his thoughts, Kacchan grabbed the material of Deku’s hood and yanked it back.

 

“Pull this back, you moron.” He said with a hard tug. “Breathe the fuckin’ air better.”

 

“Ah!” Deku exclaimed, hurriedly grabbing the edge of the hood to pull it forward. “Kacchan! The sun…!”

 

“Oh, of all the stupid—” Kacchan rolled his eyes away as he gripped the material tighter, pulling hard enough to make Deku slide back a bit on the water tank with a surprised yelp. With another grunt and without removing his tight fingers on the hood, Kacchan heavily sat beside him. He yanked Deku back as he did, making the smaller hero lose uncurl from his sitting position. He flailed his arms and kicked his feet with a shriek because falling off a water tower was not the way he’d like to make headlines.

 

“Listen here, shitty nerd…!” Kacchan said, one hand grabbing Deku by the elbow and another landing on the small of his back to steady him. “One of the best things about this spot…”

 

Deku’s fingers held onto Kacchan’s knee for support.

 

“...is the wind .”

 

Whatever words Kacchan said before that, Deku couldn’t really remember. All he could process right now was their proximity, their hands on each other—not really sensual but just there . Neither of them were moving and Deku was praying to all gods who could be listening that he wouldn’t start trembling enough for Kacchan to comment and feel awkward.

 

Please. Let time stop for a bit. Let the sun calm down. Let clouds pass over them.

 

Let this moment last for a second longer.

 

Please .

 

The wind blew.

 

Kacchan closed his eyes as his wild hair danced over his suddenly calm features. His soft breathing was suddenly so interesting and the way his fingers felt against Deku’s clothed skin felt warmer by the minute. Between his eyebrows were some wrinkles probably due to his almost permanent scowl. And yet, nothing else on this world looked so peaceful to Deku right now.

 

Kacchan’s lips were slightly parted. If Deku moved closer, he could… Maybe he could…

 

Oh, what was that? His heart skipped a beat. His stomach did a flip.

 

Oh?

 

Oh.

 

Had his childhood friend always been this beautiful?

 

Before anything else could happen, Kacchan opened his eyes. Deku closed his mouth that he didn’t know was even open. His heart was in his ears and he didn’t think he was breathing anymore.

 

“Feel that?” The beautiful blonde man raised an eyebrow with a very small smile. There were popping sounds at the back of Deku’s head.

 

“Yeah.” Deku whispered and smiled back without breaking eye contact. “I feel that.”

 

Kacchan scoffed, letting go as he turned to sit properly and look at the city again. And then suddenly, Smackbang and the entire world wasn’t worth getting angry about anymore. All was nice and all was well.

 

My eyelashes are fine.

 

Deku smiled to himself.

 

He was in the mood to read some fluff now.

 

Chapter Text

Izuku was in a very good mood when he logged off from work.

 

It took some arguing, threatening, and pleading to make Kacchan go home for more rest. He was grumbling and cursing as he left with, “Fine. I’m going home, you fucking loser. I hate you.” Stubborn. Although, if Izuku was going to be honest, he knew everything in that sentence was a lie. It wasn’t fine . He wasn’t going home. Izuku was not a loser. And Kacchan didn’t hate him. Maybe.

 

But, yeah, Izuku was definitely sure that Kacchan did some casual patrolling instead. It wasn’t like him to do what he was told when he’d already decided on doing something else. He’d probably do it in the guise of going for groceries, getting takeout, or something. After all, it was actually a punishable offense for Heroes when they did not to actively take care of their health off-duty. Many had abused the system before. Hero insurance was too good for the rules to be too lax.

 

His patrol shift ended without incident so Izuku went to log off. While could’ve done that from the Heroes station closer to Kacchan’s patrol area, he decided to go back to the Hero HQ instead. It was along his way home and he preferred filing paperwork for today’s report via the terminals at the main HQ anyway. From there, he changed out from his Hero costume and into a casual shirt and jeans, got some takeout, and took the bus home. He looked forward to reading that G-Rated ZeKu domestic fluff fanfic during the commute.

 

There was nothing much going on in the fic. Perhaps that was the appeal. It was just a series of short stories—drabbles, as the author called it—of him and Kacchan living together. And because it was a world where Pro Heroes didn’t exist, the author made them call each other names.

 

Going to bed together. Waking up in each other’s arms. Coming home to foot massages. Cuddling under blankets as they watched movies at home on a snowy day. Making coffee for one another. Going to the grocery together. Adopting a puppy. Baking a cake.

 

Nice. Short. Warm. Fluffy.

 

Katsuki and Izuku.

 

How he didn’t burst into rainbows and love, Izuku would never know. Also, the idea that Kacchan called him by name was so foreign. It wasn’t that he never considered it. Once upon a time, when they were kids, Kacchan did call him Izuku. But that was long ago. Stuff happened and things changed. Izuku had grown fond of the name “Deku” although he wasn’t really opposed to Kacchan calling him by his real name. It’s just that the hero name “Deku” had a different history than Kacchan’s “Deku”.

 

“Ka…” He began to whisper softly as he looked at the scenery outside the bus window. “Kaaa…”

Katsuki. He could think it. Katsuki.

 

“Kaaaaaah… Kah...”

 

He couldn’t say it, though.

 

It was odd, but he didn’t dwell on it much. Reading the rest of the fic proved to be a more interesting activity although he wondered if doing this on the bus was a bad idea. It was difficult not to make faces as he read. At one point, he caught the two girls across the aisle whispering to one another as they eyed him suspiciously before moving seats towards the front. He wasn’t sure if he should apologize or explain.

 

Izuku was humming when he came home to his empty apartment. Sometimes, he missed his mom. He wanted to keep staying with her even after graduation and she did so, too. However, the irregular changes in work schedule and location made her bring up (and insist) that maybe he should stop worrying about her and get a place of his own. Not that she was kicking him out. It was for his own good, she said, because independence was a good thing. She said this while bawling her eyes out. And Izuku was sniveling like a baby. As they hugged each other on the living room floor.

 

Making the decision was difficult but he decided to trust his mom. On the day he was to leave the house, they gave each other a tight squeeze as his mom said, “I know you’ll be fine. You’re going to enjoy it eventually. You’ll thank me when you eventually want to bring home boys.”

 

She winked.

 

“Boys?” He remembered being so bewildered by that. Did she mean getting drunk or playing video games all night?

 

“Boys. Girls. Rocks. Whichever you prefer, Izuku.”

 

That was confusing and didn’t make much sense until recently. Not that he brought home a boy—a particularly particular young man in particular but privacy was so important right now. His new hobby wasn’t a showy, active, or disruptive thing, but for some reason, it needed so much space and time alone to be fully enjoyed. It made him paranoid that someone was going to just look over his shoulder and ask him why he was reading about himself. Reading fanfiction in a crowd, he found, while doable, didn’t allow him to be properly immersed. Fanfiction was best enjoyed at home in the comfort of his own pajamas, munching on snack and drink or snuggling in a blanket nest with pillows and pretending one of them was Kacchan.

 

The evening was a fluff-a-thon. He only stopped reading when he had to do the dishes and take a bath.The struggle not to bring his waterproof, shock-resistant phone with him to the shower was real . He’d only been exposed to fanfiction for a day or two but that was enough experience for him to understand that he was probably never getting out of the shower if he started reading there, too. So, no. No fanfic reading while taking a bath.

 

Izuku had subscribed to yet another fic and was wondering what was with volleyball and ice skating AUs when looked at the clock. 8:00 PM. It was getting late. He should wrap this up soon. He had to cover for Kacchan tomorrow again and the travel time to get there was a bit further compared to his original area’s.

 

“9:00 PM.” Izuku told himself audibly. “I’m staying up until 9:00 PM and then it’s time for bed.”

 

But 9:00 PM came and he was still up and reading with no signs of stopping anytime soon. He had rolled off to different lying positions on all sides and corners of the bed because apparently there wasn’t one position that could keep him comfortable throughout the night. He had tried to keep still for one full chapter at the cost of not feeling his entire left arm. Fanfic reading also meant so many involuntary movements. He had squealed into the sheets, screamed into a pillow, and bit on the blanket to cope with the cheesy stories but still… Still… Still. It wasn’t enough. By and by, the fluff slowly became stale. Now Izuku wouldn’t consider himself an expert but he was pretty sure this was his body telling him he needed… something else.

 

His query was quick. Explicit. Ground Zero/Deku. Complete.

 

The page loaded.

 

Which one, though? Which one? Izuku bit his lip as he scrolled through the first list of purple links, trying to find something he hadn’t read yet that suited his mood and, ah, there’s one. The word “elevator” caught his eye. It was written three weeks ago. Didn’t matter.

 


 

 

“Are you serious!?” Zero hollered, angrily tearing his mask off his face. “We’re having an elevator breakdown at this day and age !?”

 

“Hold on, let me contact emergency.” Deku said as he moved to the intercom near the button panel. Zero, on the other hand, started looking at his own communication devices. Deku could hear him curse and mumble something about not having any network connection or communication signal.

 

“They’re not responding.” Deku sighed.

 

“Bullshit.” Zero shoved him and tried screaming “HELLO” at the intercom as he rapidly pressed the buttons to no avail. With another sigh, Deku moved to one side and sat on the floor.

 


 

Izuku laughed. Hero comms never lost signal in something as measly as an elevator. They’d probably lose communication from very deep within an underground cave or the ocean floor. However, with how the current technology was going, even that would soon seem to be impossible. On the off chance that comm links didn’t work in an elevator or locked room, that meant there was a strong signal jamming going on, which then meant really high-tech intervention, which meant that some high-funded illegal thing was going on, which all boiled down to serious business . At that point, the heroes trapped in the elevator would have to definitely break out of it by force. Compared to responding to an emergency that involved major signal jamming, keeping the elevator intact was of little importance.

 

But this was fanfiction. It wasn’t meant to display deeply accurate scenarios. Izuku told himself to keep calm and read on.

 

So he did.

 

It was predictable. Zero and Deku spoke to each other about having no other choice but to wait. It did not please Zero that destroying the elevator wasn’t an option no matter how bored or pissed he was. So they sat next to each other and started talking about random things like the mission the other day, the new girl in the reception area, and IcyHot’s new car.

 

Now Izuku new that any instance of IcyHot (or Todoroki Shouto, Fanfiction King), if not a main character, was either there for fan service or a plot point. And since he was only mentioned in this story, it was quite obvious that he was a plot point.

 

So then Deku blabbed about IcyHot’s cars. Zero, on the other hand, was more interested in looking at his fingernails. He didn’t care if IcyHot sold his Shaguar because he was bored of it. Or how he gave his Hulkswagon to his sister. Or how his dad gave him a monster truck but that ride wasn’t his style so he got himself a DMW that looked awesome with the top down.

 




“I have a question.” Zero said, lifting his eyes to look at Deku who only nodded for him to go ahead. “You and IcyHot…” He pouted like he was trying to look for the right words. “Are you…” He made a circular gesture with his hand. And then a left to right motion. Deku wasn’t sure what he meant.

 

“You and him…” Zero said again, dropping his hand to rest on his crossed legs. “Are you… Like… A thing?”

 

“A thing?”

 

“Yeah, a thing.”

“What thing?”

 

Zero slapped his forehead.

 

 

 


 

 

Awww. Zero being jealous of IcyHot was insanely adorable. Maybe because he’d never seen Kacchan jealous of anything romantic before so he wasn’t sure what that would look like? Probably with explosions. And hostile words. And a lot of blushing.


Blushing Kacchan.

 

Izuku made a very embarrassing and giddy noise.

 

He wanted that. He wanted to see a blushing Kacchan all for him.

 

Wow. There’s a side to his childhood friend that he hadn’t seen before. Or maybe he had and didn’t know it? He wasn’t sure. In this story, it was easy to figure that Zero was jealous since Izuku went into this knowing full well who was going to end up with who. Real life was far cry from that.

 

Oh, wouldn’t life be easier of god just tagged everything ? But then again, wouldn’t that be boring?

 

So basically, “God Chose Not To Put Archive Warnings” to keep things more interesting? Izuku snorted.

 


 

 

“W-w-w-w-what are you talking about!?” Deku wanted to cover his face and shake Zero at the same time but all he could do was make weird gestures. “IcyHot is a friend! A friend!

 

“Hmm, I see.” Zero nodded nonchalantly.

 

Deku bit his lip, eyeing Zero carefully.

 

“W-what about you?” He asked hesitantly, vision shifting from Zero to the floor. Only Zero’s eyes moved to look at him.

 

“What about me?”

 

“W-what do you think of IcyHot?”

 

 

 


 

 

Oh, if only conversations with Kacchan went as smoothly as this. It took a certain level of understanding before anyone could figure out how to communicate Kacchan. And this was coming from a person who had known him all his life.

 

Back to the story, the conversation between Deku and Zero became deeper, more personal, more transparent. Apparently, no, Zero wasn’t interested in IcyHot in a romantic or sexual way. He was however, interested in someone else.

 




“Ah, that’s nice!” Deku tried to sound as supportive as he could. “Do they know?”

 

“Nope. Haven’t told them coz I thought they liked someone else.” Zero took a deep breath and bit his lip in contemplation for a while before continuing. “I found out that wasn’t the case.”

 

“O-oh…” Deku wasn’t sure what to say next but Zero wasn’t done talking.

 

“I found out just now.

 

The quiet elevator seemed to grow quieter. What? Did that mean…?

 

Zero’s eyes remained fixed on him. Deku had no response except a low sound that he didn’t know what meant exactly. He didn’t want to asume. But how could he think if Zero’s face was moving closer almost experimentally? Was he hesitating? Should Deku show more initiative? He wanted to say “Yes. Kiss me. It’s fine.” But he could find neither his voice nor his tongue because all of his thinking capacity was focused on this moment. Zero was so close and moving even closer—closer than he’d ever imagined.

 

When their lips touched, it was like a dream. Zero’s lips were soft, warm, and trembling, too. Deku worried that his might be hard and chapped, not at all very kissable, but all those worries died down when a moan escaped Zero’s throat. The only response Deku could give was to moan back. He wanted to grab Zero, wanted to hold him, wanted to pull him closer, but his mind was going in circles and his heart was pounding so hard. His hands balled into fists, trying to cope and stay sane .

 

Zero’s gloved hand came up, caressing his freckled cheeks before tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Deku’s eyes snapped open when tongue started entering his mouth but it felt too good to stop. He had been wanting this for a long time now and like hell he was going to let surprise end this abruptly. So he answered by pushing his tongue against Zero’s. The Explosion Hero moaned into the kiss, hands sliding down Deku’s neck, trailing down his body, snaking around his waist to pull him closer.

 


 

Izuku did not understand his hand’s urgent need to crawl to his crotch as early as now. They were just kissing. Why was he massively turned on? But never mind. It’s not like anyone’s watching.

 

God, he felt like a pervert.

 

He was a pervert.

 


 

“I want you.” Zero whispered when he pulled away shortly to draw breath. Deku opened his mouth to say how he reciprocated that, but Zero had other plans. The blonde Explosion Hero captured his mouth again and kissed him so hard, he almost fell back. The wall caught him, thankfully, and he blinked as he slouched rather awkwardly while Zero loomed over him.

 

“I want you.” He said again, eyes hungry. “I want you, Deku.”

 

He felt like prey.

 

He loved it.

 

Deku looked at him straight in the eye.

 

“Then take me.

 


 

Izuku rolled from left to right so he could wheeze without dying as the story escalated very quickly. He made a rather desperate noise when Deku finally found his guts and straddled Zero (How brave. Izuku could never . Go, Deku!), pushing his tight shirt up so he can lick up the man’s abs, his chest, and his nice hardened nipples and same, same, same . Izuku wanted to cry. He’d seen Kacchan shirtless many times before. Why, oh, why did he not stare at those pecs and his nipples when he had the chance?


Meanwhile, there was a lot of hair gripping on Zero’s part, which Deku seemed to approve of judging by how he was moaning and wasn’t fighting back. A few moments later, Zero pushed Deku so he was the one lying on the floor. Good. He yanked open the zipper of the smaller Hero’s clothes and peppered his chest with kisses and bite marks. Better. His fingers quickly ran south to the waistband of Deku’s pants, undoing the belt quickly and then immediately plunging his hand into Deku’s underwear to palm on his dripping cock. Great, but what ?

 

Izuku immediately wondered what the hell this author was talking about since his costume was a full body unitard. It was a single piece . But who cared ? All it took was the mere concept of Zero hurriedly pulling his pants down and hungrily mouthing at Deku’s erection for Izuku to consider his fashion choices. Maybe unitards were a thing of the past now? By the time Zero was plowing into Deku, Izuku seriously wanted a costume change. Although it stood true that he wasn’t so wild as to have sex in a public elevator amidst technical difficulties, he did want the possibility of getting ravished with his open shirt and pants pulled down to his thighs—on his knees, facedown, sobbing with hands grabbing uselessly at the floor as a certain someone thrust into him from behind with reckless abandon.

 

Deku didn’t seem to care if someone came in and found them having a go at each other. Izuku’s dick would probably wither at the mere thought of getting caught.

 

Deku, 2. Izuku, 0.

 

Izuku’s sweatpants were already tight and uncomfortable as he palmed himself when he got to the part where Deku’s orgasm was building. Zero started thrusting harder and faster as Deku begged for him to “come inside me, please”. On the other hand, Izuku wondered just how fast a person’s hips could move because the description made it seem like Zero was thrusting with a speed Quirk or something. There was so much sweat and cum on the floor. Where did that many body fluids come from and how on earth did they plan on cleaning that? Izuku had no sexual experience but he was pretty sure that the elevator would smell of sweat and whatever sex smelled like.

 

But onto more life important matters, Izuku himself, hadn’t come yet. With a small whimper, he gently pushed down his sweatpants and underwear to free his needy erection. With a small inhale, he wrapped his fingers around his own hardness and started stroking. His brain probably lost coordination, as he swiped too far on the screen, making it scroll almost all the way down to the author’s notes and lo and behold, something was there.

 

A drawing.

 

A very, very nice drawing.

 

Right after the fic and just before the author’s notes was a drawing of a very, very well-drawn fan art of Zero with his mask off and shirt pushed up to his chin and the first thing that Izuku did aside from exclaim “Holy nipples!” was to lose coordination and pull on his dick so damn hard, he swore it came off and—”Hooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—nghhhhiiiiiiiii—”

 

His lungs probably tried channeling One For All to deal with the breathing because Izuku could not even scream. What came out of his throat was a high-pitched noise that sounded like a squeak, a hiccup, and his soul dying.

 

Holy shit, did his dick just come off !? Izuku rolled on the bed, kicking, crying, and groaning at the same time as his brain panickingly wondered if it was possible to de-cock a person. What did he just do ? He did remember wanting to pinch fan art Kacchan’s pink nipples. Did his brain get confused and just went ahead with the squeezing regardless of where his hand was? Izuku tried not to swear a lot but god fucking damn it , brain! He couldn’t even uncurl his fingers because what if it actually fell off? He was in too much pain to face that sort of reality yet!

 

God, what was he to do if he actually saw Kacchan’s naked body? That was just a drawing and he almost amputated his genitals using his bare hand.

 

After much wheezing, praying, and possibly temporary ascension to the astral plane, Izuku managed to calm himself down and got his thankfully-still-intact dick back in his pants. Surprisingly, despite all that, he realized he hadn’t let go of the phone that had gone black. Did it go on sleep or was it ashamed for him?

 

With two taps on the screen, it lit up. With one swipe, it was unlocked. And there it was. There he was.

 

Zero was grinning naughtily as he lay on the floor. His skin was flushed and sweaty, pink nipples erect and ready to be pinched or licked. Izuku was no longer sure where his thoughts coming from or if he was a decent person anymore. Neither did he care as he traced the lines on Zero’s hips that led him towards his half-undone low-riding pants and… And wait, wait, wait, this was so low. Where did his pubic hair go ? Izuku wanted to find out. It seemed his dick did, too, with how it twitched to life. Had it learned nothing!?

 

“You just had a near-death experience, you pervert!” Izuku glared at his crotch. Great. He was talking to his genitals now.


But then another look at the drawing made him realize something. Someone was sitting on top of Zero. He knew that shade of green. He knew those gloves that were caressing Zero’s hips.

 

It was him! Deku! Izuku! Him ! He was sitting on top of—DHAKSLDHAKLDHKALDSHASKLDH—Izuku bolted for his laptop so fast, the sheets came off and his bed shook and misaligned with a thud against the wall. He needed to see that drawing in the best quality he could get it. If Satan himself spawned to hinder him, Izuku was literally going to Smash him in the dick.

 

“Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.” Izuku switched his laptop on as he started doing very strange excited footwork that probably made him look like a dancing stunted baby flamingo.

 

“Oh god! Oh god! Oh god !” He said over and over as he hopped around the room, clutching his phone in his two trembling hands so he could stare at the artwork and burn it into the memory of his next reincarnation. As he waited for his laptop to boot, he scrolled down on his phone to see the author’s notes. True enough, the artist was credited accordingly. Thank god for people who credit. Thank. God.

 

Much thanks to @zekuorgtfo from Grumblr for the art. She draws lots of ZeKu fanart on Plixiv, too, so please check out her work!

 

Izuku did not know what country Grumblr was but he did not need to be told twice to tap on that link like his life depended on it.

 

It was ten in the evening.

Chapter Text

God was real. And so was the devil.

 

It had not been long into the discovery of “certain” Hero fan art and Izuku had already lost count of how many mini heart attacks he had survived. Before his laptop managed to properly boot, he had thrown himself onto his bed and stared at the Ground Zero fanart on his phone so hard, he came .

 

Okay, so maaaaaybe it had a little something to do with him unintentionally squeezing a pillow between his legs and writhing aggressively against it (Subconsciously! He needed to cope somehow!) as he squealed compliments at the half-naked Ground Zero fanart (“You’re hnghhsoo nhgggnnhhchaaan...”) but still, the point stood. He came . And it was such a shocker, too, because he hadn’t planned it. All he knew was that he was needy and that his hands were too busy holding the phone to help him anywhere else ( Also Yanking Trauma™) so… Yeah. He didn’t think he’d come. Half of his sanity had fled so he ended up choking on air when his orgasm hit. Izuku wasn’t sure if he’d said Kacchan’s name. He was too out of it.

 

Now, to be fair, it wasn’t the existence of fan art that shocked him. Of course, he had seen fan art before. He’d signed a couple of them, even, but he’d never ever seen one as luscious, delicious, scorching, and downright criminal fan art of Kacchan. Just a few minutes ago, he was lamenting on how he hadn’t spent enough time ogling Kacchan and his perky nipples when the universe went, “Here, son, have some.” It was at the cost of his dick almost getting severed but some things come with risks.

 

But nngh, this drawing. It looked glorious on his phone but seeing it on a larger screen was just... unngh. He could zoom in and flip the image and touch the screen like… nnngggh. There was a nagging urge to make it his phone wallpaper, desktop wallpaper, and bedroom wallpaper—wallpaper on his eyelids for when he closed his eyes—but Izuku still had some self-preservation left not to do any of that. Just to satisfy the itch, he tried setting it as wallpaper for his laptop if only to see what it looked like. His trembling fingers got excited and clicked “apply settings” before he could set it to the right position and proportions so just—BOOM. Zero’s chest buns in full close up jarring Izuku’s eyeballs so hard that he almost tipped back as he desperately tried to cover the screen with his hands because purity, purity, purity! It was also kind of sad and funny that there was one icon that looked like it was trying to censor Zero’s nipples, but not really. Relate. Izuku thought.

 

Thankfully, he managed to get his act together to set the wallpaper properly and then hhhnnnggghh. It could only display up to around Zero’s pecs, but that was okay considering Zero’s face was right in the middle. So again— Hhhnnnggghhh . Had Kacchan always been this handsome? Izuku’s knees felt weak. It was like he was going to melt into the chair.

 

God, he wanted to lick the screen like mmm— Wait, what?

 

This was unhealthy. If he had Zero staring at him like that whenever he opened his laptop, he’d never get anything done.

 

So he changed his wallpaper to something more decent like a serene image of a clear blue sky. He couldn’t possibly bring himself to put his All Might-themed wallpaper back on after that.

 

I’m sorry, All Might.

 

Click. Click. Click.

 

This zekuorgtfo person had quickly made it to the list of Izuku’s favorite people. She had entry after entry after entry of amazing ZeKu art. Izuku saved them all to his hard drive first would think of the consequences later. Or never. This artist also worked on this thing called the ZeKu International Kink Series, which basically allowed Izuku to learn stuff about different countries and the many positions the human body could make before, during, or after getting laid. He had quietly saved it under the folder Around The World In Sexy Days .

 

Izuku was in the middle of saving pictures when a bunch of text caught his eye on the sidebar of the site.

 

Hi! I’m Shisha and welcome to my NSFW Art Blog. I mostly draw ZeKu and I also run a side blog dedicated to all things ZeKu.

 

All things ZeKu was right up his alley.

 

So that was how Izuku found himself wrapped in his blanket and clutching a pillow to himself as he crouched like a hermit on a chair in front of his laptop. He turned off the lights, too. Just to be sure. For some reason, it felt like a thousand eyes were watching him. That was also why he made sure the blanket covered him from head to toe. And that his feet were on the chair. It felt much safer that way.

 

Why browsing all this felt like a crime, Izuku didn’t feel like he had the courage to ask.

 

As soon as the page loaded on a new tab, Izuku immediately realized that he had never seen so many naked pictures of himself in his entire life. And that counted baby pictures and the number of times he had seen himself naked in the mirror! But more importantly, all the sexy Kacchan! What was more amazing was that this side blog shared pieces from other artists, too! Izuku practically had a field day saving every artwork he could find. Not all of them were good, of course. Some had long limbs. Others had skewed faces. Some had rather questionable anatomical poses but they were all ZeKu . They were the work of fans who wanted Ground Zero and Deku to be kissy-kissy, lovey-dovey, umh-ahh-ohhh-yeah-right-there-ahh together. And Izuku was going to be damned if he didn’t get all this, er, lovingly demonstrative and supportive adult art.

 

And ooooooooooh! There were fanfic recommendations! Woooaaah! Community service! Thank you! And short comics! Wow! Izuku had a blast reading them all. Some were funny. Others were angst. And then fluff and then just… Porn. There was no other term for it. It was just… Straight up porn. Of him. And Kacchan. Why wasn’t he bothered?!

 

It didn’t take long before the top of his browser was infested with a lot of tiny tabs. It seemed there were many different ZeKu blogs that he wanted and needed to keep up with. So at this point, he asked the inevitable—Should he or should he not register? The possibly ten thousand tabs seemed to scream “Yes!”

 

Now Izuku wouldn’t have survived this long in life if he allowed inanimate digital objects to make decisions for him. With that in mind, he assessed the situation. What were the pros and cons of this?

 

The pros: Information. Media. ZeKu. Sides of him and Kacchan that he had never seen or will probably never ever see.

 

The cons: So much embarrassment if he got found out.

 

How big of a blow was the downside? Was he going to lose his Hero license? Not really. Porn wasn’t a crime, but the social backlash might be a bit heavy. Alo, this downside could be avoided if he was careful. He didn’t need to post anything. Didn’t need to add anyone. All he needed was to follow other blogs and stalk . Or lurk . Problem solved!

 

Okay, then. He was doing this.

 

First things first—e-mail address. Izuku had to make a new one with a different name because he wasn’t risking getting caught. Heck, if he could do this from a different computer with a different connection, he would! But that would mean possible exposure of his “interests” to other people so, no. After that was done, he jumped onto Grumblr and started to make his own account. The username was a bit tricky since he couldn’t use anything that could point back to himself so he just threw in a random username: idkitjusthappenediguess.grumblr.com. Fantastic .

 

Next up was the profile and settings. No description. No header. No profile picture. He did a check of the settings, too, if only to make sure that he wasn’t going to be tracked. The security feature was particularly helpful. Apparently, he could set the blog to private so it could only be accessed by entering a password. To say that he was mightly pleased to set kacchan as password was an understatement. Izuku giggled to himself, giddy at the thought of having Kacchan’s name on his anything .

 

And.

 

Then.

 

BOOM.

 

There it was. A whole new world spread out right in front of him. Izuku went back to the other tabs and hit follow on everyone that wanted them together. Yay for supportive fans! In between clicks, he wondered how he was going to invite them all if ever he married Kacchan but yiiiiiiiieeeeeaaaaashdjkadhslakjdhakldhkaadhakhdanooooooooo.

 

“Noooooo…!” Izuku mumbled to himself as he hugged his pillow and buried his widely smiling and furiously blushing face in it. He hugged himself into a more compact ball, his tingly toes curling to cope with whatever was bubbling in his stomach. “Why would I think thaaaaat!? Why would he marry meeeee!?”

 

Well, why not? Said an imaginary voice. Izuku just assumed that was his dick becoming self-aware after getting yanked so hard.

 

In between blog hopping, Izuku learned many new things. Apparently, these pairs or combinations were called ships . Short for relationships? Maybe. Aha! So shipping Ground Zero with Deku gave birth to the ship called ZeKu. And all who supported this union (who must be inherently good people with good taste) were called ZeKu shippers.

 

“I ship us.” Izuku mumbled with a grin as he rocked himself back and forth. “I ship ZeKu. I’m a ZeKu shipper.”

 

And then he buried his face in his hands with yet another squeal. He had a name for them now. They were a ship. Except he didn’t really ship them as Heroes. He… Kinda shipped them… As… As them… So… So what were they called?

 

How did the ship names work? Ze from the Zero. Ku from the Deku. So going with something like that… He had… Ka from the Katsuki and I from the Izuku? Kai? Weird. No. They could name their kid that, maybe—Izuku launched into another giddy squeal that had him punching the pillow—but focus .

 

Was it Ka from the Katsuki and Izu from the Izuku? KaIzu? That sounded like a monster.

 

So if he took Ka from the Kacchan and Ku from the Deku? KaKu? Um. No.

 

What if he extended the syllables? Katsu from the Katsuki. Izu from the Izuku. KatsuIzu?

 

“KatZuku.” Izuku concluded so softly like he was scared someone would hear it, scared that the word would fall to the floor and shatter forever.

 

“KatZuku.” He said again, a little louder this time, holding back a smile and failing so he just wrapped his arms around his raised knees and pulled the blanket over his face, squeezing the pillow as he did because there it was . A label. A name. He had something to call whatever he wanted for them, as one-sided as it was.

 

“KatZuku.” Izuku smiled to himself, feeling warm up to his ears. “Yeah. I like that. I ship that.”

 

Browsing further, Izuku learned more. Like the term OTP, which at first he thought was an emoticon for a person on all fours with his large butt sticking out. He learned a little later, with much embarrassment, that it was an acronym for the term one true pairing. Oh! Well, then, KatZuku was his OTP! And, yeah, ZeKu, too. But, wait, wasn’t that two pairs now? Two True Pairings? TTP? How many was he allowed to have? The ship had the same people, though. Did that count for something? Was there a rule book for this? If there was, he didn’t find it, but he did learn other things such as nOTP, husbando (Kacchan), waifu (also Kacchan), and headcanons . Oh, headcanons were one of his favorite things. It was like a collection of other people’s hopes, dreams, and aspirations for him and his huswaifu . Awww, that was so cute. It was like they were cheering him on and rooting for him. He didn’t really feel alone now. So maybe…

 

Maybe…

 

Maybe Izuku could pursue him? Make something happen? Try? Try what, though?

 

“Argh! Noooo!” Izuku said again, shaking his head as he squeezed the pillow. “I can’t do that! Kacchan will kill me !”

 

Okay, where were all these hopes and dreams even coming from? What was he thinking? Getting married? Pursue him? Like what? A piranha smelling blood? He hadn’t even given a name to what he was feeling for Kacchan right now. A crush maybe? A giant crush? A massive pulsing crush? Okay. Wow. He should write that down. If they developed a move together, it should be something that they could totally name Massive Pulsing Crush. Explodo Massive Pulsing Crush. Massive Exploding Pul—What on earth was DeRo?

 

Izuku furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity as his eyes caught the curious ship name. The full text was:

 

Reblog if ZeKu and DeRo make no difference to you.

 

“What?” Izuku asked. What was DeRo ? Another ship? A rival ship? Oh, hell no . Izuku clicked his tongue and decided to check it out in the spirit of inquisition. So his mouse hovered towards the tags, trying to find the right word and—Click.

 

The first image was Deku tipping up Zero by the chin, motioning to kiss him. Aww.

 

The second image was Deku giving Zero a piggyback ride. Zero was blushing. Izuku died of cuteness.

 

The third image… Izuku was pretty sure that the third image was the devil’s way of saying hello because there was no way he was going to leave this hell after this.

 

It was almost like deja vu how he found another and even more magnificently explicit drawing of Zero. Mask off. Eyes half-lidded. Mouth open. His tight black sleeveless shirt was pushed up to his chin as he struggled to keep himself up on all fours. His pants were pulled down to his thighs and his fingers gripped the sheets for dear life as he stared at the camera, his chest touching the mattress, his ass up in the air.

 

Izuku was barely breathing.

 

But that wasn’t the end of it.

 

Behind Zero, was someone wearing an open shirt, pants also down to his thighs. Again, Izuku knew that shade of green. And he knew those gloves that were holding onto Zero’s hips as he thrusted into him with passion and—”AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Izuku did not even hold back his scream as he hurriedly covered the screen with the pillow and threw the blanket over the entire laptop before bolting to the bathroom with such urgency. He wasn’t sure why he had to go there exactly, but he felt the need to run to somewhere no one could see because his face was on fire. Izuku slapped the lights open as soon as he got to the bathroom, closed the door, bunched the shower curtain into his arms, and did the weird dancing stunted flamingo footwork again.

 

All while making weird mumbling noises the entire time.

 

“What ha—Wuh—Hnggaa—He—I—!”

 

Izuku closed his eyes but he could still see it.

 

Kacchan’s flushed cheeks. Kacchan’s open mouth, lips wet and glistening. Kacchan’s nnggh perfect ass . Oh, god , he didn’t even know he needed that until he saw it . It never occurred to him. Kacchan being the one thrusting into him seemed to be the right scenario but if ever, if there was a possibility, well… If Kacchan would let him … Then… Maybe… Oh god… Oh god , he’d like to… Izuku would love to— Ngggaaaahhh— What were words ? Where did his education go?

 

“Kacchaaan...” Izuku whined into the shower curtain that was making small crinkling plastic sounds as if to comfort him. “Kacchaaaaaaaaaan…!”

 

It wasn’t even Zero to him anymore.

 

Calm down. Calm down. Calmdowncalmdowncalmdooooooooooooohhhh god, Kacchan’s ass .

 

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe . Focus. Say a prayer.

 

God bless that artist. God. Bless. That. Artist.

 

Once he was sure he had calmed down significantly, Izuku slowly tiptoed out of the room. There were wet spots on his shirt thanks to him getting emotional support from a shower curtain, but that was of little importance compared to the idea that even his furniture was judging him as he stepped out.

 

His apartment was pretty dark with its only light source being the one from the bathroom. On one corner was the laptop, its light barely visible from the pillow and blanket over it. Izuku was mumbling a more prayers or something as he approached his desk. He took a deep breath before lifting the blanket very, very slowly and then again before removing the pillow also very, very slowly. The laptop seemed to be peeking from behind the contraption as if to ask, “What did I even do !?”

 

“I’m sor—” Izuku whispered, but the image of Kacchan being pleasured came right into view and his sentence dissolved into a whine.

 

Why, oh, why could he not be someone to have emotional moments quietly ?

 

He was kind of trembling when he sat down. His chair even made a small squeak as if to ask him if he was okay. Well, the answer was yes if okay would be what anyone would call “having a raging boner” . Good lord. He just came awhile ago. Was he really going to—”Mmmhhh.”

 

Oh god, that was just his clothes brushing against his erection as he adjusted on the chair. Izuku bit down a moan as his fingers slowly reached for his crotch, eyes pasted on the screen, drinking in the image of Zero—Kacchan—being taken from behind.

 

What would it feel like having sex with Kacchan?

 

A strange sound grumbled for his throat as he started palming himself, imagining that his hand was someone else’s. Oh… Kacchan’s hands were thicker and probably longer and he’d stroke him with more intensity and vigor. He’d whisper the naughty things he’d do to his Deku, which was well and good—until All Might’s booming voice just Smashed him in the nuts out of nowhere.

 

”IT IS FINE NOW!”

 

Oh, HELL , no…!

 

Izuku somersaulted off his chair—”Kyiiieeeahhhhhll Might!”—and right onto his bed as his phone screamed and he screamed and his brain screamed and his dick probably screamed, too, but he just didn’t know it. Said dick wasn’t even out but Izuku tried stuffing it back in his shorts anyway out of sheer emotion. He soon realized that doing this made him look like a guy who was trying to masturbate with an invisible penis aaaaaaaaaaaand, ack ! Zero’s smashing fanart was still on his screen! His first train of thought? Destroy all evidence!

 

“WHY!? BECAUSE I AM HERE!”

 

Only when the superhero music with an electric guitar solo started playing did Izuku realize that it was his god damn ringtone.

 

To think he almost used his Quirk to destroy his laptop in sheer embarrassment!

 

Oh god . Izuku slumped on the bed with a very relieved sigh. He had never been so scared of hearing All Might’s voice in his entire life . The shock was so intense, Izuku swore his heart was only hanging by a sorry thin ligament the equivalent of a crooked staple wire . This must be what villains felt like, holy shit. Not that he was doing anything entirely bad . It just really wasn’t something that he’d be glad to have someone supervise, even if that “someone” was All Might.

 

“IT IS FINE NOW!”

 

Ah! Ah! The ringtone’s started to loop! He should answer the call!

 

Izuku hurried towards his desk and grabbed his phone to see who was calling.

 

KATSUKI BAKUGOU.

 

Izuku almost dropped his phone. Just seeing that name made him half-hard. He could practically feel his traitorous thrill-seeking dick go, “WHEEEE!”.

 

“NO!” Izuku glared at his crotch. “STAY DOWN!”

 

“WHY!? BECAUSE I AM HERE!”

 

Oh dear. Oh my. Oh god. Help. Why was he calling!? He wasn’t in the right mind to talk to Kacchan about anything , to be honest, but he wanted to hear his voice. Ehhhh, what if he ended up accidentally asking Kacchan to have a relationship? Or if he moaned out of nowhere? Or what if he suddenly got hard enough for Kacchan to hear it ? Should he pretend to be asleep? It was late, after all.

 

Izuku looked at his digital clock and took a deep breath as the guitar solo kicked in again.

 

It was past eleven.

 

Here goes nothing.

 

CLICK.

 

“Hello?”

Chapter Text

Izuku’s heart was in his ears as soon as he answered the call. He was nervous. Having known each other for as long as they could both remember, Izuku had already received a good number of phone calls from Kacchan. None of them, however, made him as jumpy as this one. Maybe because he had never before received a phone call from Kacchan while actively knowing that Izuku was massively crushing on him? He remembered being all poofy-happy when he first spoke to Uraraka on the phone. It was nothing like this, though. Izuku felt like he wanted to either put the phone down or jump into the screen in an attempt to see Kacchan. The bed he was sitting on felt like a raft in the middle of the sea.

 

I’m... talking to my crush on the phone… I’m talking to my crush on the phone!

 

“Yo, Deku, I’m—” Kacchan stopped abruptly and then paused as if he was listening before trying to speak again. “...Deku?”

 

“Y-yes, Kacchan…?” Izuku replied very, very carefully because he almost went “Yes, darling?”

 

This is not the time, brain. This is not the time.

 

Izuku glared at his crotch.

 

You, too.

 

“...Deku…?” Kacchan asked again and somehow Izuku could make out the image of his face with furrowed eyebrows. Izuku closed his mouth. Did Kacchan hear him say “Yes, darling” in his head?

 

“Hey.” Kacchan sounded like he was going to kill Izuku if he lied. “What’s going on? Why are you breathing like that?”

 

Izuku literally hiccuped.

 

“B-b-b-b-breathing like what ?!”

 

Ack! No! No! Bad answer! Aside from it came out like a squeak , he was supposed to say that in his head , not out loud . Izuku’s succeeding reaction was to look at his crotch to see if there was anything funny there . Nothing much. He felt like his dick was looking up at him from under his clothes going, “The hell?”

 

But, ah, back to the task at hand. What was the right thing to say? What did he mean “breathing like that ”? More like breathing like what ? Breathing like how ? Did he mean breathing at all !? Izuku’s hand flew to his chest. Sure, his heart was beating fast but did his breathing become heavy enough for Kacchan to hear the difference over the phone?!

 

“I…!” Izuku stuttered, trying to find the right words to not make it look like— holy hell , that half-naked, getting fucked Ground Zero image was still on his laptop! Izuku made a wheezing noise.

Now Izuku wasn’t really one to curse but fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck .

 

“Deku?”

 

Oh, holy lord! Hearing Kacchan’s voice while looking at that drawing made it kind of look like it was talking to him ! Izuku covered his mouth. What was this discovery!?

 

“I…!” Izuku motioned to get up but only managed to end up kneeling on his bed, shooting glances at the very lewd image on the screen at the other end of the room. Half of Izuku’s brain just dropped the mission of finding a reason for his heavy breathing in favor of plotting to get Kacchan say suggestive out-of-context things so he could match it to the half-naked fan art.

 

Brain, you damn traitor! Also, you glorious bastard!

 

Wait, noooooo! Was he having an identity crisis right now!?

 

“Deku, is this a bad time? What time is—” Kacchan’s voice sounded like he pulled away from the phone a bit before coming back. “Ah, my bad, I woke—”

 

“No, no, no …! I…! I was...” Izuku jumped out of bed in a jiffy, the balls of his feet landing with a soft thud. He started making quick gestures with this free hand, trying hard to find a good excuse to keep Kacchan on the phone with him. Now wasn’t that counterproductive? Wouldn’t it be better if this call ended so they could have this conversation tomorrow when Izuku’s brain was on a properly functioning mode?

 

Ah, but Izuku honestly didn’t want that. He wanted to keep talking to Kacchan because he called . Aside from wanting to keep hearing his voice, Izuku wanted to know what he needed this late in the evening. Surely it was important, right? It was unlike Kacchan to make late night calls for no reason after all.

 

So what activity involved some heavy breathing that didn’t sound suspicious!?

 

“Deku.” Oh dear, he was sounding impatient enough, he just might punch Izuku through the phone.

 

Aha!

 

“...I was working out…!”

 

Yes! Nailed it!

 

“At past eleven in the fucking evening ?!”

 

Aaagh! No! Damn it!

 

“I-I’m trying something out...!” Izuku reasoned, earning him a very suspicious and unconvinced noise from Kacchan. Oh, no! What would he say if Kacchan asked him what exactly he was trying? Thank goodness this wasn’t a video call because Izuku did not looking like he had been working out at all.

 

“Trying some—Never mind.” Kacchan clicked his tongue and grumbled something incoherent before sighing. There was a hesitant pause. “So... You sure this isn’t a bad time?”

 

Never a bad time to talk with Kacchan. Not with his voice sounding apologetic like that. So cute.

 

“Nope! What can I help you with?”

 

If you know what I mean . Izuku wiggled his eyebrows internally before slapping his forehead for even thinking that. Why was he like this? Wasn’t a phase like this supposed to happen during puberty ? He was way past puberty! And it wasn’t like he had just met Kacchan. They’ve known each other all their lives! So what was this? An awakening !?

 

“Well… Could you send…” Kacchan clicked his tongue again. Izuku swallowed hard as he slowly sat walked back and sat down on his bed when the back of his knees hit the edge.

 

Was it… Was it nudes ? Was he going to ask for nudes? Izuku was confused if he wanted that but maybe they could exchange and stuff? He glanced at his laptop. The half-naked Ground Zero fan art was still there but it bothered him less now.

 

“...Well, I can’t say report coz I’m not your superior or anything…”

 

Oh. That . Yes. Of course .

 

Izuku literally closed his eyes so hard and twisted his lips to swallow a very, very embarrassing noise because what was he thinking? Why did nudes even cross his mind? Also, the idea of a half-naked Ground Zero talking to him about reports wasn’t that appealing.

 

“A report?” He tried to sound as normal as he possibly could. “Regarding my patrol duty on your area today?”

 

“D-uh.”

 

“Hold on a sec. Lemme get my earphones.” Izuku got up to indeed rummage for his earphones and also to shut down his laptop (not before mentally saying goodbye to the half-naked Ground Zero, of course). He wasn’t really sure how long it took him to actually get back on the phone, but Kacchan had started to become impatient with how he was already grumbling. Izuku had to bite his tongue because he almost, almost said “Missed me?”

 

Seriously, brain. Do not.

 

But, hey, Kacchan wasn’t here for Izuku. Kacchan was here for the reports… which Izuku had already filed at the main HQ.

 

Hero patrols had two kinds of reports. The first kind was called Beep Logs. Along with their Hero License, every Hero was issued a Beeper whose sole purpose was to report the general status of the Hero’s location at certain intervals within the day. All the Hero had to was press one of three buttons—OK, Issue, Emergency—and the Beeper would automatically send this status, their Hero name and number, the time of their log, and their exact location to HQ.

 

OK meant there was no trouble. Issue meant there was an incident, but nothing that the Hero could handle. After handling an Issue, said Hero must immediately send an OK beep to ensure that everything had been taken care of. If a Hero failed to do this within a certain span of time, HQ would immediately send reinforcements regardless if the beeping Hero had requested for it or not. And Emergency was exactly as it sounded—an emergency.

 

The Beep Log system was actually Yaoyorozu’s idea. Citing the incidents from the Hero Killer Stain, she highlighted the importance of having a quick, easy, and efficient way to request backup without being noticed by the enemy. Beep logs would also be helpful should they needed to trace a Hero’s patrol history. When did he last beep? What was his last status? Where was his last known location before a certain incident? Little details on their own, but useful information when accumulated.

 

The second kind of report was the Check Out report. At the end of their daily patrol shift, Heroes were required to file a written summary of their rounds. The format included the times their shift started and ended along with a brief description of whatever they saw or experienced during their rounds. Check Outs could be done via official terminals found in the HQ building or patrol area stations. Alternatively, it could also be sent via e-mail to the HQ mainframe. E-mail Check Outs would require proper verification from the patrolling Hero and an attending supervisor via an official terminal in the next 24 hours.

 

Earlier today, Izuku had filed his Check Out via the official HQ terminal. Kacchan was not happy about that.

 

As it turned out, he had given instructions to Smackbang to do an E-mail Check Out and copy him in the message so he knew what was up in his patrol zone. Unfortunately, Smackbang wasn’t able to carry over that instruction to Izuku. So how was he to know, right? Didn’t matter. Kacchan was not pleased that Deku did not even consider that maybe he wanted a summary of what happened.

 

“It’s my patrol zone, Deku. You’re just temporarily there on my behalf.”

 

Wow. Talk about territorial. Well, if they were talking about “not being pleased” then that made two of them. Kacchan mentioning these interactions with Smackbang ticked Izuku off. Besides, it’s not like he couldn’t check the reports when he got back. Heroes were allowed access to the logs of their own patrol area after all.

 

“You have a phone and a laptop.” Izuku grumbled and pouted, putting a hand on his waist as he paced around the room. “You can check the logs yourself.”

 

“Only when I get back .” Kacchan scoffed sarcastically like Izuku told him something as stupid as eating his own sock. Oh, that’s right. Heroes who were on leave temporarily lost access to the log system until they return to prevent the information from being compromised.

 

Come to think of it, why did Kacchan want this information at this late in the evening? What was so urgent about these logs that he had to call Izuku now ?

 

And then he remembered. Check Out logs were also sent out to the next Hero who would take the shift for that area. Like a turnover protocol.

 

“I was watching the news and shit the entire day.” Kacchan was grumpily saying now.

 

“Kacchan.”

 

“And, yeah, nothing came up but you know that’s not—”

 

“I swear to god, Kacchan, you better not be considering casually patrolling at this hour.”

 

There was a very offended gasp from the other side of the line before Bakugou Katsuki retaliated with a very aggravated, “I’m at home , you shitty nerd!”

 

Yep. Izuku hit the nail on the head. This workaholic fool .

 

“Have you had dinner yet?”

 

“What the fu— Yes! ” Kacchan was still screaming amidst the sound of flying objects, stomping feet, and distant explosion.

 

“Good. Stay there. Rest.” Izuku sat on his bed again.

 

“I’m still on leave tomorrow!”

 

As if that explained anything. Izuku ran a hand over his face. Most people would be happy being on mandatory leave, as that meant rest. Leave it to Kacchan to be pissed at having to sit around and being told to relax. Sure, he didn’t have to be ecstatic about it but did he have to be this annoyed?

 

“I know you’re on leave, Kacchan. I’m the one covering for you.” Izuku tried not to sound exasperated. “You’d better not be thinking of—”

 

Fuck off! ” Izuku’s very angry crush screamed again. The explosions were louder. With all the screaming and anger fits he was throwing around, it was normal to assume that being in the same room as Kacchan would be dangerous. Still, Izuku still would have preferred that. It was easier for him to deal with the blonde face-to-face. Body language played a big part in understanding him, after all.

 

Maybe they should do video calls instead from now on.

 

“Why didn’t you bring up that you wanted to be copied in a report earlier today?” Izuku tried to sound stern. “I was right there .”

 

“Maybe because you greeted me with a fucking bitch fit from your moody ass!” Kacchan hollered again. There was another explosion. Izuku wondered where he was to be recklessly shooting out explosions like that.

 

“And I wasn’t even expecting you to be there , you fuckin’ nerd…!” Kacchan’s footsteps were loud as he paced around. “Smackbang was supposed to give me a report but the brat didn’t tell me you two got switched so that threw me off. That and your fucking bitch fit!

 

Another explosion.

 

Oh. Yeah. Okay. Wow. If Kacchan could stop mentioning Smackbang, that would be nice.

 

“I said I’m sorry, okay!?”

 

“Then tell me about the fucking patrol already!”

 

...Was what Kacchan said that but the conversation was more of him asking about certain areas than waiting for Izuku to tell him about his shift. As initially annoying as that might seemed, Kacchan’s points of inquiries seemed to be important. This area had more idiots in it. That area had more kids. This particular intersection had the tendency to have road rage. That certain zone was where all the funny business happened.

 

Izuku had to go to his desk, pull out a notepad, and jot it all down. Not only was it helpful reference for tomorrow’s rounds, but Kacchan was definitely going to ramble about this again. If Izuku showed any signs of not paying attention, that would mean Explodo Murder King hour.

 

“Did you pass by the hospice?” Kacchan said after he had gotten something to drink.

 

“Yeah. Grandma Chiyo asked where you were.”

 

Silence.

 

“She gave me sweets.” Izuku put the pen down and leaned back on his chair. “I saved some for you. She said she hopes you get well soon and—”

 

“Get well soon?” Kacchan sounded like he was raising an eyebrow. Izuku imagined him to be doing that one-eyed squint. That was so him . Cute. Cute. Cute.  “What the fuck did you tell her?! I’m not—”

 

“I told her… ” Izuku interrupted because (cute) Kacchan had no business interrupting him after mentioning Smackbang twice like that in the span of a few minutes (not that Kacchan knew of this condition), “...you were on a twelve-hour shift because another Hero’s wife was about to give birth so you filled in for him. She was so happy for Vesuvius and said to tell him congratulations. She also says she’s very proud of you and you need to rest ‘coz you’ve earned it. See? Even Grandma Chiyo says so. You need to rest.

 

Kacchan clicked his tongue and took a deep breath.

 

“Don’t tell that old hag that I’m sick or tired or whatever from work.” He grumbled, obviously trying to sound levelled. This was the “I’m-feeling-something-soft-and-I-don’t-want-you-to-know” grumbling. Izuku imagined him scratching the back of his neck, head slightly tilted, as he looked at literally anything else but another person.

 

“Her son died on Hero duty years ago so talking about such details might make her reminisce.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Izuku turned his chair half-way thoughtfully. He wasn’t expecting that Kacchan was going to say something like that.

 

“So how’d you handle the kids?“

 

“The kids?”

 

What kids? Whose kids? They had kids? D’aaawwwwwwait, what ?

 

“The kids from the park. ” Kacchan said again with another impatient huff, probably mulling over the thought that Deku didn’t know this shit. “They follow me around and come to the hospice with me.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Izuku wished he had a better answer than a vowel. Kacchan didn’t seem to mind and kept talking anyway.

 

“Purple Cane Gramps hasn’t seen his grandkids ever since his daughter remarried.” He spoke more naturally, not at all angry because perhaps he had other things in his mind than Izuku being incompetent. “Plus Granny Rice Cakes likes seeing them, too. But keep ‘em away from Old Man Sure Foot. He hates noise. And the kids are, well, kids are noisy . So that fuckin’ guy gets so damn provoked, he just starts throwing shit around like his fricken Quirk is summoning the accumulated anger of the fucking planet.

 

Izuku wanted to say another “oh” as he blinked thoughtfully. Kacchan seemed to have a better and deeper understanding of his patrol zone than Izuku thought. He’d read through the previous Check Out that Kacchan wrote, but his report wasn’t as detailed as what he was talking about know. So was it safe to assume that Kacchan remembered all this not because work dictated it, but because he wanted to ?

 

For a few minutes more, Kacchan rambled on about his patrol area. There was a baker who would give him cookies, pastries, or bread, which he’d then give to a preschool nearby. The preschool that had teachers who were identical twins. Sometimes, when the kids saw Kacchan as Ground Zero walking around, they’d call him over and ask him to guess which of the two teachers was there with them. At first, Kacchan couldn’t tell. They looked too much alike. It wasn’t until he realized that the younger one had the tendency to blush whenever the kids called him over that he managed to tell them apart.

 

“Shoulda seen the look on her face when I got it right.” Kacchan laughed mockingly. “She thought they could outsmart me…!”

 

It’s not that , you doofus . Izuku wanted to say but he bit his tongue. Was she pretty? Did he like her?

 

“What’s her name?” He asked instead as he turned his chair back towards the desk.

 

“Like I’d know.” Kacchan scoffed. “I just knew she was the younger one.”

 

Yeah, it was such a Kacchan thing not to remember names. A lot of people seemed to be offended by this, but it wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose. It’s just that he really had trouble putting names to faces. That’s why he usually just labeled them with what feature he remembered most about them. But, of course, he was too prideful to properly admit that. Just one of the things that made Kacchan, well, Kacchan .

 

Among stories of businesses, families, and children, there was also this issue about three delinquents who liked peeing on backalley doors. Izuku thought that was disgusting. Kacchan asked him if he managed to keep an eye out for that.

 

“I…” Izuku stuttered. “I didn’t…”

 

“Oh, god damn it , Deku…!”

 

“In my defense, no one told me .”

 

RIght after that sentence left his mouth, Izuku was sure he wasn’t going to like Kacchan’s answer.

 

“I told Smackbang.”

 

Ugh.

 

“I’m not Smackbang!” Izuku may have yelled that a little bit too loud as he hit the arm rest but, come on! This was the third time in this conversation that the kid got mentioned. He had nothing against the pretty little Hero. And it wasn’t like he hated Kacchan, too. But it’s just that… That… It was annoying !

 

“Stop expecting me to do things that you’ve told Smackbang and not me!”

 

“Ow! Quit screechin’ in my ear , you god-forsaken kiwi!” Kacchan hollered right back at him because Explodo Murder King was never one to lose in a shouting match. Izuku grumbled, not really interested in making this phone call an argument. This was supposed to be nice and fluffy. How did Kacchan always find a way to make things turn hostile !?

 

“Fuckin’ell.” The blonde  man on the other line sighed again. “That stupid brat not coordinating this properly. Fuck , I’m just—Hold on.” His voice sounded distant again. “I’m gonna add him to this call right now and—”

 

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! That was the last thing he needed right now!

 

“Don’t do that!” Izuku got up and screamed so loudly, that he heard Kacchan go “Eh!?”

 

“I-It’s his first time patrolling so don’t be too harsh!” He explained, trying to be reasonable even with himself. “I’ll do it tomorrow. I promise. Don’t call Smackbang.”

 

“Then do it properly!” Kacchan didn’t curse but he still managed to sound like he was cursing. How the hell?

 

“I will !” Izuku grunted before starting towards his bed to sit. “My god . Your work pace worries me, you know that?”

 

Kacchan grunted again. Offended. Again, Izuku wondered why .

 

“Do I come off as frail to you, Deku!?”

 

This. Guy. Who the hell would look at Bakugou Katsuki and see frail !?

 

“No.” Izuku frowned, wishing Kacchan would see his face right now and get the point. “You come off as a workaholic work horse and I worry , okay?”

 

He wasn’t lying. Kacchan had always been hell-bent to be the best on what he did. Even as a Hero, he only demanded the best from himself. His work pace was sometimes so absurd, even Mineta was starting to worry. He pushed himself a lot to take as many jobs and missions as he could, as diverse as he could get them. Some people thought it was distasteful of him to still be “competitive” even after the rankings had been abolished, but it wasn’t that. Kacchan just wanted to be the best in what he did. He just really held himself to a high standard. That was all it was. If he was competing with anyone here, it was with himself.

 

“So you want me to understand you’re worried for me but you won’t understand that I’m worried for my patrol zone? What kind of sick thinking is that?”

 

“What kind of—Kacchan, are you seriously comparing yourself to a patrol zone ?” Izuku was  making a disgusted face because, really, why . “You are a human being. You are my friend. Am I not allowed to worry for you?”

 

Kind of felt strange saying the word “friend”.

 

I ship us. Izuku thought to himself. He wondered what that really meant for him. The things he was supposed to make time to think about was piling up one on top of the other.

 

“Use that time worrying about yourself.” Kacchan’s voice was lower, softer… calmer? Almost ike he was mumbling. “You’re disoriented, sleep-deprived, and throwing tantrums while on duty. If there’s anyone here that should wor—” He grunted. Clicked his tongue. Growled. What was he aggravated about all of a sudden?

 

“Kacchan?”

 

“Oh, just get some sleep already so you don’t throw hissy fits at other people!” He was annoyed again. Izuku still wasn’t sure what he was angry about. “You’re such an idiot… Fucking nerd.”

 

And then silence. Izuku didn’t really have anything to say to that. He wasn’t sure why Kacchan was pissed and he really wasn’t in the mood to throw a comeback at being called an idiot. Not that he always shot back at Kacchan’s terms of endearment in the first place.

 

“Seriously, Deku.” It was Kacchan who broke the silence. “Sleep. It’s late.”

 

His voice was still low, but a bit breathy. Kind of smooth. Izuku wasn’t exactly sure if he’d heard this voice before. He had to hear more of it if only to study what it meant.

 

You’re still up.”

 

“I’ve been sleeping all day, fuckwit .” Kacchan sounded like he was kind of smiling. “Who’s the loser with dark circles under his eyes?”

 

Dark circles only you can notice. But Izuku didn’t say that.

 

“Mm-hmm.” The green-haired young man nodded, leaning back on his palms on the bed as his big toe traced random circles on the floor. “Okay.”

 

“...Okay.”

 

Kacchan had spoken with some tone of finality, but neither of them hung up. Izuku realized he liked hearing Kacchan’s breathing over the phone. He listened harder and thought he could make out the sound of an electric fan. Huh? He wasn’t using the AC? Why? Was it because he had to waft out the smoke from his explosions?

 

Izuku started to smile but ended up chuckling instead.

 

“What’s so funny?” Kacchan didn’t sound angry anymore.

 

“Nothing.” Izuku threw himself on the bed, feet still touching the floor. His mattress felt like a cloud. How unusual.

 

“Tss. Fuckhead.” Kacchan scoffed. Izuku laughed. More silence.Neither hung up. Izuku remained lying on the bed, fingers playing with the cord of his earphones. It was Kacchan who broke the silence again.

 

“What’re you doing?”

 

“On my bed.” Izuku turned to lie on his side. “Talking to you.”

 

“Talking to me? Color me surprised.” Kacchan shot back sarcastically. “I never would’ve fuckin’ guessed.”

 

That made Izuku laugh again, fingers tracing the folds of the bedsheet as he playfully nibbled on his earphone cord. Something about this conversation made his cheeks feel warm. He wasn’t sure what or why exactly. There were many things about this phone call that he wasn’t sure of, it seemed.

 

“Maybe it’s too late in the night for you to still be up, Kacchan.” Izuku said thoughtfully. “You’re making bad jokes.”

 

“Hang up then if you’re so tired talking to me.”

 

Like he would ever .

 

You called. You hang up.”

 

“Fuck you.” Kacchan spat out the words harshly but he sounded like he was smiling. “Don’t tell me what to do. You hang up.”

 

“Hmmm.” Izuku rolled to his other side and reaching for his pillow. He needed to hug something. His face was starting to heat up. Why was this happening? Didn’t this only happen when he was reading fics or looking at fanart? It was the same except right now, he was without the massive urge to jump or scream or destroy something. Izuku just felt… nice.

 

Or maybe he was sick?

 

“Hang up, nerd. I fucking swear —”

 

“Mkay, sir.” Izuku finally gave up. It was almost midnight. Both of them needed sleep. “Good night, Kacchan.”

 

“...Night, nerd.”

 

CLICK.

 

As soon as they hung up, a bunch of strong random feelings surged out from his chest and all throughout his body. Izuku yanked his earphones off and screamed into the pillow as kicked and rolled on his bed. His head was swimming and his chest wanted to burst. His fingers and toes tingled and the could feel the hairs on his skin stand up.

 

Nothing particularly special happened so what exactly about that phone call was making him excited, bubbly, giddy, and downright jovial? Talking to Kacchan? Just talking to Kacchan?

 

Ah. Whatever.

 

Izuku decided to just enjoy this wonderful feeling anyway. He rolled around his bed, alternating punching and hugging his pillow and got tangled in his blanket in the process. When he became tired of that, he lay on his side and curled into a tiny ball as he reached for his chest. Wow. His heart was beating so hard like it had stocked up on all it’s blood-pumping activities throughout the call and resumed its normal operations just now.

 

“H-h-he sounded so handsome.” Izuku told his battered pillow and pretended it cared. “Aahhh, I think I sounded lame. I definitely sounded lame.”

 

And then he planted his face onto the mattress and screamed more complaints into it until his phone chimed. Oh, that sounded like a LINE message. Izuku contemplated on just leaving it be but the idea that it might be important made him reach for his phone to read it.

 

KATSUKI BAKUGOU.

 

Eh? Izuku’s heart stopped operations again. It seemed dealing with Explodo Murder Crush made his body find different settings he’d never experienced before.

 

Srsly nerd. Fuckin sleep or I’LL KILL YOU

 

It was funny how Kacchan was all threats but all Izuku could think of was how he sent a message right after a call. Something about that made his heart stir so much, it might have punched his lungs. Izuku wasn’t sure and neither was he in the mood to figure it out. All he knew was that Kacchan being worried for him in any form made him feel special. Izuku curled into a smaller ball, biting his lip, unsure of what to reply.

 

What to say? Hmm.

 

Yes? Okay? Make me? He thought back to some fics he read for reference. Whenever Deku said “make me” in a tense situation, it was almost always followed by Ground Zero doing something that started so aggressive before turning into something romantic. Or kissing. Actually, sometimes they just jumped into the lip-locking and tongue wrestling and then tore off each other’s clothes. Wouldn’t that be nice, eh? But, ah, no! He was getting carried away again! Besides, it wasn’t like Kacchan was going to come out of the screen and pull him into a kiss, not that Izuku would object buuuuut he should remain within the realm of possibilities sooooo —aaaaa! Focus! Focus! What should he reply!?

 

Concern, maybe. Just equal concern. He should… Um… Bring up something from the conversation a while ago, too.

 

If you go out on patrol tonight, I’m telling Iida and Todoroki and we’ll have you suspended for not taking care of your health.

 

There!

 

Send.

 

Ding!

 

I FUCKIN SAID I’M AT HOME YOU SHIT FUCK

 

Uwah!

 

That might not have been the right response. Now that he was reading it now, it definitely wasn’t the right response! Why would he even think of sending that!? What on earth happened to critical thinking!? Who threatened Katsuki Bakugou like this over text!?

 

Izuku’s heart was already starting to sink until his phone chimed again and out popped a picture of Kacchan that practically made Izuku’s fragile heart implode .

 

It was a selfie that Kacchan took to show that he was, indeed, at home. He looked to be in his room. All Izuku could see behind him was a wall and his bed, but that’s not what mattered.

 

Kacchan was shirtless .

 

Holy mother of— His phone chimed again.

 

HAPPY?

 

Oh, very.

 

Izuku was so out of it, he sat back up in really slow motion. He brought the phone so close to his face that his nose was almost touching it. He pulled it away and then closer again, trying to find the best distance to let his eyes focus sharply . At some point, he partly got annoyed at how or why humans hadn’t evolved enough for their eyesight to have a zoom feature .

 

Good lord. Izuku didn’t not know where to look first. Kacchan’s smirk was so sexy and Izuku loved how his hair looked like he had just gotten out of bed. And those arms . Those shoulders . Those pecs . Aaaargh, Kacchan’s fricken nipples . Sure he had to squint to see them but that was so worth it. Absolutely an Nnngh™ moment. Izuku was not aware of how he was biting on his lip because he was now focusing on Kacchan’s bed behind him. It was a large one. Could fit two people. Sure, it was probably that size ‘coz Kacchan slept like a starfish but Izuku wouldn’t really mind being the seaweed curled next to him.

 

“Kacchaaaaan.” Izuku mumbled, doing his darnest not to lick his phone screen because with how delicious Kacchan was looking, all Izuku needed now was rice . Ugh. This man . Izuku didn’t even protest when he felt his dick twitch. He’d actually be offended if it didn’t.

 

Ah, but he had to reply, right? What to say? What to say?

 

Nice pecs? Great arms? What’s your workout regimen? I’d like to be on your bed? I’d tap you? Tap me? Let’s tap each other? Top? Huh? What ?

 

Izuku was reminded how immensely bad he was at attempting to flirt. It’s not like Kacchan was trying to flirt with him anyway. So maybe he should just… Be casual? Establish a pattern to his replies? Worry. Yeah. What was to be worried about in this picture? Um. His room didn’t seem to be cluttered so… Worry… That… He might… Catch a cold?

 

Yeah.

 

Izuku started typing.

 

Put a shirt on.

 

Send.

 

Silence.

 

“Th-that…” Izuku mumbled. “I…”

 

That was a bad reply. Izuku did not want Kacchan to put a shirt on. Izuku wanted him topless and possibly bottomless . Or whatever term they used for that.

 

A minute had passed. Still no response from Kacchan.

 

Oh. Okay. Was it normal not to reply anymore? Or was this a sign that he was he offended by that? Or did he fall asleep? Both were possible. Part of Izuku was hoping that Kacchan got pissed enough to be on his way here to “teach Deku a lesson”.

 

Punish me with those arms.

 

Izuku swallowed hard.

 

He’d ask where that thought came from if only he wasn’t so busy getting turned on by the idea of Kacchan overpowering him, pinning him down, and taking him harshly from behind.

 

Did he always have these kinks? Was there a kink gene that could get activated late in life ?

 

Ding! —went his phone.

 

“...Handcuffs!” Izuku exclaimed as he almost dropped his phone in surprise.

 

It was Kacchan.

 

And another photo.

 

And either the bane of Izuku’s existence or the source of his eternal life. There was nothing in between.

 

Izuku’s jaw fell so hard, it might have gotten dislocated. It was the only proper response after seeing the image that Kacchan sent. He was still shirtless, sitting on his bed, middle finger raised and brought closer to the camera. Okay. Nothing unusual with that, right? Right. But then again—and Izuku prayed to all existing gods that this better have been intentional—Kacchan was visibly down to just his boxers. Black boxers with an orange waistband to be exact. Izuku could literally see half of Kacchan’s bulge between his legs from how the camera was tilted.

 

And thighs. Those thighs.

 

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and opened it again. The picture was still there . It was real .

 

Lord almighty, thank you for this bread .

 

“K-K-K-Kacchan…!” Izuku’s hands were cold and trembling. “Ka-Kacchaaaaan…!”

 

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to touch, kiss, or lick the screen. For all he knew, he just might eat his phone if he wasn’t careful. In fact, his dick was so damn hard right now, it drove Kirishima and Tetsutetsu’s Quirks to shame .

 

Okay, surely, Kacchan’s point in this picture was the middle finger but that really wasn’t getting across if he had the outline of his dick parading like a tease between his legs like that. Although, to be fair, it’s likely that Kacchan didn’t think that Izuku would be staring at his crotch anyway.

 

And again, Kacchan’s damn thighs . Izuku had never wanted his head to be in between something so much before. The amount of thrusting those thighs and hips could do. Hnnngghh.

 

This photo was far less explicit than any of the fanart he had but it was undeniably soooo much better because it wasn’t “Ground Zero”. It was Kacchan . And no one else had or would have this. This picture was all for Izuku. Kacchan took this photo to intentionally send to Izuku .

 

Wait, wait, wait. So did he strip just to take—Ah! Oh, god! Did Kacchan sleep like this all the time ? Down to his boxers!? Naked!? Just a blanket over him!? Nothing!? Izuku’s heart was racing with all the damn explicit images that shot through his head in one instant. Shit, a sleepover sounded so ideal all of a sudden. At Kacchan’s place. He had a big bed. They’d fit in it. Maybe he’d just deliver a report personally tomorrow. Good plan! Yeeeesss. Nooooo. Yeeeesss. Stoooop. Nnnnggghhhhhhhhhhh. Help. He needed help !

 

Ding!


There was a message. It was Kacchan.

 

FUCK YOU

 

Izuku whined.

 

Yes, please.

Chapter Text

Izuku was not sure what time he slept. He was aware that he closed his eyes to sleep but his alarm was going off shortly after so he wasn’t sure if he’d slept or not. He didn’t feel rested at all. Not that it was surprising. He had never masturbated that many times over a short span of time. The “motivation” was just there . First, he had the Ground Zero fan art to “accidentally” orgasm to and then Kacchan’s picture to thank for in the evening. And then that same picture again before showering a few hours ago.

 

So here he was, padding into the Heroes’ HQ lobby at seven in the morning, hoping to god that there would be no trouble for him today. It was so unprofessional to come to work like this but staying home was not an option. He was covering for Kacchan, after all. Had it been any other person’s patrol area, he’d have been okay (but still guilty) with calling in sick and switching with someone else. But, yeah, Kacchan’s patrol zone. Izuku would have to be paralyzed before he handed this over to anyone. He really just needed to get his act together. So no fandom anything for the day! For his own safety! Being horny for prolonged periods of time was unhealthy. This very active infatuation with Kacchan and their ship was going to kill him . Izuku was glad that he was already at his twenties or he’d have stunted his growth thanks to these newfound interests .


“Is that why you never grew any?” Izuku mumbled as he watched Mineta Minoru walk past him in the lobby.

 

Oi ! I just got here! What the hell are you even talking about, Midoriya!?” Mineta shrieked, motioning to throw one of the sticky spheres from his head.

 

“Hero names.” Deku pointed at Ingenium who was busily discussing something with the lady behind the information desk. Mineta gasped in surprise and then mumbled about thankfully not getting heard. Deku yawned loudly.

 

“You okay?” Grape Juice asked as they both headed to the log chamber. “You look like you haven’t slept.”

 

“Yeah, just a little out of it.” Deku nodded, rubbing his eyes. “I was up reading.”


Because that seemed to demand less explanation than “I was on the phone with my crush and it was so awesome, I touched myself.”

 

“Well, you look pale.” Grape Juice said again as the sliding doors opened for them. The sensors started blinking as if to acknowledge their arrival. “Do you have patrol duty? Maybe see the nurse before you go.”

 

“No, I can’t be resting in the clinic.”

 

“I meant for her to give you vitamins for the day or something.” Mineta said, slapping Deku by the leg because that’s what he could reach. “Did you have coffee? Or an energy drink? Oh, wait, no, Baku—Zero will kill you.”

 

Yeah, Kacchan didn’t like coffee or energy drinks. While he did agree that it gave a burst of energy, it also meant that there was a significant drop of energy later. It was the same thing as sugar rush, he said. That man could argue about caffeine addiction and palpitation among other things. Sometimes he got into arguments with Pinky because she swore by morning coffee or else !

 

It was adorable how Kacchan had these little but firm principles about health and wellness every now and then. In fact, he often told Deku that he should be more careful, too, as his Quirk wasn’t his own. His body may have been trained to deal with it but he wasn’t born with it . As such, his body was not naturally and readily equipped for One For All as opposed to people who were born with their Quirks. And that wasn’t an insult. That was a fact that Deku took as seriously as he could.

 

After logging on to start the day and parting ways with Grape Juice, Deku headed for the cafeteria to get a bottle of water. Hydration was always important, after all, especially now that he was lacking sleep.

 

Ah, he wanted to text Kacchan right now for advice on what to eat or drink. It was a good excuse. Maybe they could talk over the phone again.

 

Just reminiscing the phone call made Deku’s face heat up as Kacchan’s revealing pictures flashed in his head complete with imagined saxophone music. Oh, god. He could not believe the effort he had to exert just to securely save those photos. Part of his night—wee hours of morning, actually—was spent finding a proper phone app that allowed him to hide folders and protect them with a security password .

 

He also had a secure matryoshka of folders on his laptop—a folder within a folder and so on and so forth. Each folder only had a one-letter filename. A person would have to go through nested folders that spelled KATZUKU backwards before they got to the final password protected folder that contained his organized photo collection. He really wasn’t sure if this was the right way to go about hiding pictures—or if he should’ve saved all of those NSFW photos (not safe for work, according to the internet) in the first place—but there wasn’t a rulebook for this. He was totally winging it. Deku’s life felt just a notch more dangerous.

 

“Deku-senpai!”

 

Now he would’ve gone “who on earth?” but Deku was used to remembering voices far better if they were threats. He was about to drink from his water bottle but instead took a quick inhale before turning around and there he was—“Morning, Smackbang…!”—hurrying towards him in the cafeteria.

 

“Senpai!” The newbie Hero said as he came closer, taking a deep breath before smiling at Deku, “Good morning, Deku-senpai!”

 

Why was he suddenly “senpai”? He was contemplating on asking but Smackbang cut his thoughts by suddenly bowing.

 

“I’m sorry for not relaying instructions to you properly, senpai!”

 

Deku blinked, not getting that immediately. His brain was still warming up, it seemed.

“E-eh?”

 

Smackbang straightened, hands balled into fists out of frustration, as he looked with big apologetic eyes at Deku.

 

“Ba—Ground Zero gave me instructions yesterday but I was so overwhelmed with finally meeting you that I totally forgot and I’m so, so, so, so sorry about that!”

 

Bakugou . He was about to say Bakugou . Deku was starting to feel… itchy ? He didn’t want to think of what this feeling was called.

 

“You spoke to Kacchan?”

Sure, they were supposed to use Hero names because they were on duty, but Deku’s pride just wouldn’t let up. Throwing out that nickname always made him feel like he knew Ground Zero more than anyone else on the planet. Besides, Kacchan was on leave so perhaps it’s okay? Ingenium would probably still insist on Hero names but Deku just thought that sometimes rules were learned to be broken. Or was that promises?

 

“Yes, this morning.” Smackbang said with multiple nods. “I was texting him since I forgot to tell him about the switch and stuff but he wasn’t replying and I got worried so I ended up calling and— aaaaaaaaah! ” The boy covered his face, leaned back, and messed up his hair in sheer frustration.

 

Wh-what? What was it? Did he also get half-naked pictures!? Did he!? The plastic bottle in his fingers dented slightly.

 

“I woke him up with my call and he was so pissed at me!”

 

Oh… Oh, okay. No half-naked pictures. Thank goodness. But going back to the matter at hand… Smackbang started crying.

 

“He was so, so pissed at me!” The boy whined. “He said that even if I was on fire right at that moment, I should have called the fire department, not him!”

 

Yeah, that sounded like Kacchan. He didn’t really like his sleep getting disturbed after all. Plus, even if he’d been (allegedly) sleeping the entire day yesterday, getting sleep past midnight would require him to sleep some more. Deku knew. He was on the phone with him last night, after all.


But Smackbang didn’t know that, did he? Neither did he know about Kacchan’s raging tendencies if woken up the wrong way.

 

And yet Deku acknowledged the younger Hero’s wailing as legit . He wasn’t really crying out of sadness or despair. He was just a really frustrated fan who fucked up . Deku kind of understood where he was coming from. If his number one idol yelled expletives at him so early in the morning, he’d cry, too. Thankfully, All Might wasn’t such a person, but Deku knew first hand how harsh Kacchan could be. Besides, Deku was Kacchan’s fan, too. First fan. Number one fan. He didn’t think that was debatable, really, but now wasn’t the time for that.


“A-ah! D-d-don’t cry!” Deku said with a faint smile as he looked around the cafeteria, hoping that this didn’t look like he was bullying the newbie.

 

“How can I not cry?!” Smackbang reasoned, red faced, eyes glistening. “He hates me now!”

 

“N-no, he doesn’t! K-Kacchan’s just…” Deku scratched the back of his neck as he looked around shiftily in an attempt to find the right words. “He’s just… Really like that… But I doubt he truly hates you… I mean, I know he swears a lot and is kinda rough around the edges, but he’s really a good person.”

 

Smackbang stopped to consider, eyeing Deku to let his words sink in. The older, green-haired Hero smiled at him though he doubted he looked convincing. The younger Hero sniffled as he pouted, looking at the floor thoughtfully and oh dear. Oh, god. Deku knew this feeling he was having. He wanted to help this young man.

 

Oh, come on . How did Deku get himself into a situation where he had to comfort a possible love rival who had better eyelashes than him?!

 

“I… I’ll talk to him for you if you want…?”

 

Deku wanted to kick himself. Why!? Why was he going to do that!? Well, many things. First, he understood what Smackbang was feeling. Second, he couldn’t just watch someone cry and feel bad and do nothing to help. Third, he didn’t like it when Kacchan was misunderstood.

 

And it worked.

 

“Really!?” Smackbang immediately brightened up.

 

“Y-yeah, why not?”

 

Whey neht? Deku sarcastically mimicked in his head as internally beat up his conscience for being too nice and strong. Ah, but this was what Heroes were supposed to do, right? In this situation, Deku the Hero should have nothing to do with the agenda of Deku the Kacchan fanboy.

 

“Thank you, senpai!” Smackbang wiped his tears and laughed faintly in embarrassment. “I’m sorry I threw a tantrum like I did. That was unsightly.”

 

“N-no, no, no! Not at all! “ Deku waved his hands in front of him, half of his brain still trying to process how he was trying to actively help Smackbang be on better terms with Kacchan. “I totally understand. Ever since I can remember, Kacchan had always been amazing, it’s blinding.”

 

“I know , right?!” Smackbang flashed a wide and beautiful smile. “He’s an image of victory!”

 

What did he just —It felt like thunder fell from the sky and right onto Deku’s head, hammering his skull, and ringing in his ears.

 

That is my line. He is my image of victory.

 

Deku was so stunned, he was pretty sure his soul almost came out of his body to turn into something like Tsukuyomi’s Dark Shadow. What in the hell did this kid just say ? He literally could’ve said it any other way so how did he come to those particular choice of words!?

 

Okay, no. Calm down. Think straight. This wasn’t personal. The boy was a fan. And even if he was also crushing on Kacchan, there was no proper reason for Deku to feel this possessive. Kacchan wasn’t his. Kacchan was already so close to him. There was no reason to feel threatened. This was nothing. This was okay. This was petty .

 

Despite his efforts to conceal his inner musings, something must have shown on his face because Smackbang blinked at him with concern.

 

“D-Deku-senpai?”

 

“A-ah…!” Deku shook his head as if that could reset his thinking. “I’m sorry! I just haven’t had enough sleep and I… I was out of it, I guess. Sorry for spacing out!”

 

“O-oh! I’m sorry for keeping you then!” Smackbang held up his smartphone. “I have notes on what he told me. I can send them to you right now!”

 

So he did. They exchanged numbers and added each other on LINE. There was more thanking and apologizing on Smackbang’s part and he wheezed when he shook Deku’s hand. He was really adorable. Deku couldn’t find it in him to hate the boy. God damn it .

 

His notes were also very helpful. Just one look and it was obvious how high the level of dedication Smackbang had poured into this task. They were impressively detailed, organized, and easy to understand. There was even a vicinity map with Kacchan’s routes and some personal notes from Smackbang’s own observation. Some of the things that Kacchan told him last night weren’t here but Deku still couldn’t help but feel a certain pinch of jealousy over this.

 

Jealous…” Deku repeated to himself as he headed to the water tank to have a clubhouse sandwich and drink for lunch. “I’m jealous…?”

 

He was also grumpy. This was not ideal.

 

So on lunch break, atop the water tank, Deku decided to browse for some stuff to ease his mind. He knew he promised “no fandom anything for the day” but he didn’t expect Smackbang to rattle his brain that hard.

 

“Maybe I should try checking out other ships.” Deku mumbled to himself as he flicked on his Grumblr dashboard. Yeah, maybe that was a good idea. Deku bitterly told himself that Kacchan wasn’t the only man in the planet after all. Maybe he could try checking out other people, too? See if this was truly a phase. Perhaps he was too invested in this ZeKu ship that he was starting to—HOLY FUCK TODOROKI SHOUTO’S ALBINO DICK WHAT THE HELL!?

 

Deku flung his phone into oblivion and realized how stupid that was the moment it left his fingers. Thankfully, it was on a cord around his neck so the thing just recoiled and smacked him in the face.

 

“Ow!” Deku complained as he felt his phone dangle form his neck. The pain was negligible, however, compared to how he was in dire need of eyebleach because what the hell was that? That was an image of him on all fours with Kacchan’s dick in his mouth and just about to get fucked by IcyHot from behind! And with a cock so big, too! It was like a missile of pre-cum! Was that really attractive!? Dicks weren’t supposed to look like it needed launch codes to orgasm! Moreover, what on earth was that image doing on his dashboard? He was definitely sure he was following ZeKu blogs only. So did that mean they posted ZeKu x literally anyone else? Why would anyone do that!? Did people just tag their stuff with whatever!? Wasn’t that supposed to be ZeKuHot or something!? This society needed rules or it was going to spiral into more madness!

 

After taking two bites on his sandwich and violently sipping juice from the carton, Deku finally found some resolve to get back to his phone and just very blindly scrolled up or down his dashboard. He didn’t know. He just wanted to not see that image anymore. Apparently, he managed to tap on something wrong again because this time he was bombarded with a hell lot of Red Riot fucking or getting fucked by Ground Zero.

 

“WHAT THE HELL, KIRISHIMA!?” Deku yelled, standing up, phone in one trembling hand. His clubhouse sandwich was left discarded at his feet. Sure, some of them had Deku in it, too, but he seriously wasn’t interested in going fifty-fifty on Kacchan. Yes, he was friends with Red Riot but some things were just not meant to be shared .


But then came a more urgent concern. Was Kirishima a potential rival, too? For a moment there, Smackdown didn’t feel like much of a threat anymore because yes , Kirishima Eijirou was very close to Kacchan. Yeah, they were together a lot. They were bros enough to go bathing naked together and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This was not good! This was not healthy! He should not be having these thoughts about his friends! So what if there was an off-chance that Kirishima was crushing on Kacchan? That was none of his business! All was fair in love and war!

 

Deku let go of his phone and sat back down on the water tank lest he ended up tapping on Satan’s horns or something by accident. Holy shit. He didn’t need to see that. He didn’t care what other people wanted to think about them but he was also sure as hell that he didn’t want to scar his mind any further. It was a bad idea to check out other ships. There was no reason for him to keep doing this. He was going back to ZeKu. And he was staying there .

 

So he did. Fluff. Smut. Comics. Chibis. Oh, there was a Kacchan fox. How adorable! And there were ZeKu puppies! Aww. Oh there were ponies, too.

 

The ZeKu ponies started fucking.

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Deku dropped his phone again and scratched his head heavily, kicking around, trying to rid his brain of the images. Dear lord, it seemed to be soldered into his nervous system. He could hear random neighing in his head just because of that! Good heavens, how could a single image of not-even-them-but-kinda-them have such a strong effect!? If people wanted to imagine them as cats, dogs, ponies, or cockroaches, that was, again, really none of his business because “to each his own”... But was there truly no way for Deku not to stumble on it?

 

He was still suffering from the effects of seeing ZeKu erotica ponies in action when his phone started ringing.

 

“IT IS FINE NOW!”

 

No, it isn’t, All Might. I’M SORRY.

 

Deku looked at his phone to see who was calling.

 

KATSUKI BAKUGOU.

 

Just seeing the name filled him with relief. Thank god . He needed to hear his voice. Deku took a deep breath, telling himself to be okay. It’s going to be okay.

 

“WHY!? BECAUSE—”

 

“Hello?” He smiled while trying to catch his breath. It wasn’t a genuine smile because pony trauma but he’d read somewhere that smiles could be heard in the voice when answering the phone. He’d like Kacchan to have some positive anything to open this call.

 

“Why’s your voice all huff-y like that?” Was the first thing Kacchan asked. “What have you been doing?”

 

“What? Oh. I just…” He took a deep breath.

 

Fucking ponies , Kacchan. Fucking ponies of you and me. And Todoroki’s albino dick of ice. And don’t even get me started with you and Kirishima.

 

But he couldn’t say that.

 

“I just choked on my lunch awhile ago and stuff.” Deku scratched his head as he picked up his clubhouse sandwich. “What’s up?”

 

“You lying fuck.”

 

Huh?

 

“I’m not lying…!”

 

But he was. He knew he was lying. His phone knew he was lying. This water tank new he was lying. Even his sandwich knew he was lying. But, hey, the man on the other end of the line didn’t really need to know he wanted to bleach his eyeballs and why .

 

Except Kacchan wasn’t buying his excuse judging by how he grunted and scoffed before he said, “Look to your right, dumbass.”

 

Deku furrowed his eyebrows for a while before turning slowly to his right. Nothing was there. What was he talking about?

 

“Lower.” Said Kacchan.

 

Deku looked down and there he was—a good distance away, standing on an empty rooftop lower than the water tank. He was holding his phone to his right ear as he looked up.

 

“K-Kacchan…!” Deku’s voice broke as he exclaimed.

 

“Wait there.” Was the last thing he said before ending the call and stuffing the phone in his pocket. Deku just dropped his phone and let it dangle from his neck as he watched Kacchan use his explosions to head over to the water tank. It seemed to take forever. Deku wanted so badly to grab him mid-air and pull him in a hug.

 

The thick soles of Kacchan’s bulky red-orange sneakers landed with a hollow metallic thunk. Oh, he was heaven sent. He was wearing a tight, short-sleeved black shirt and a pair of army green cargo shorts. Whoever made that shirt deserved an award. The way it clung onto Kacchan’s body was so perfect and Deku wasn’t sure who he should thank that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath that shirt.

 

Kacchan Nipples™. Nnggh . Thank you, heaven. This almost made up for the porno ponies. Almost.

 

Deku wasn’t sure what he wanted to say yet when he opened his mouth but Kacchan was quick to say something first.

 

“First things first, nerd.” Kacchan pointed at something near Deku. “Gimme that sandwich.”

 

“Eh?” He blinked and looked at the clubhouse sandwich discarded next to him. He’d only gotten two bites off of it.

 

“Ehhhh!?” Deku exclaimed again, lost at what the hell Kacchan wanted with his food. “What!? But this is my lunch!”

 

“No, this is your lunch.”

 

Did he mean himself? Hopefully yes, but apparently not.

 

It was only when Kacchan unslung something from his right shoulder did Deku notice that he was carrying something. He had a wrapping cloth tied up in such a way that made it look like a shoulder bag. The dark color made it difficult to notice against Kacchan’s dark, sexy, body-hugging shirt.

 

And did he just say that was Deku’s lunch?

 

“M-my… My lunch?” Deku mumbled and Kacchan’s response was to grumble and sit next to him. Closer view of Kacchan’s arms. Nice . Deku was aware that his thoughts were unbelievably thirsty right now but he really couldn’t blame himself.

 

“If you heard me the first time, don’t make me say it again, you fuckin’ shit.”

 

Deku blinked dumbly as Kacchan shoved the tied up cloth bag into his arms. Huh? He looked at the bundle and then at Kacchan. Back at the cloth bag. Back at Kacchan.

 

He was here to bring Deku lunch?

 

“Y-you brought me lunch?”

 

Kacchan groaned and heavily wiped a hand down across his face.

 

Wait, no. That was wrong, wasn’t it? His lunch was bundled up in a wrapping cloth, which meant a lunch box was inside. And lunch boxes… Usually meant… Homemade food.

 

Did that mean Kacchan cooked for him!?

 

“Y-you made lunch for me?!” Deku exclaimed in disbelief as he gawked the wrapped up lunch box in his trembling hands. “Y-you didn’t—!”

 

Kacchan just looked away again, which basically meant, “Yes, shut up.”

 

ASJHALDSHADKLAHDAKDLHAKD

 

God was real !

 

Kacchan’s cooking! All for him! It was a treasure! Deku wanted to take a picture of it first and light incense around it to drive negative spirits away and thank all existing gods for taking pity on his grieving soul from moments ago. With his heart still in his ears, Deku slowly untied the bundle knot and let the cloth fall to reveal a shiny blue lunch box with red, white, and yellow accents. Just seeing that made Deku smile. There was a bottle of water, too, wrapped in what seemed to be a small white towel to keep it as cold as possible.

 

With still trembling fingers, Deku unclasped the locks on all four sides with a clack and lifted the lid. The first thing he noticed was steam coming out from the sides followed by an amazing aroma.

 

“I smell fried pork cutlet!” Deku squealed excitedly at Kacchan who only smirked.

 

True enough there was crispy, golden fried pork cutlet over steamed rice. And there was gyoza. Rolled omelette. Mixed vegetables. Strawberries! Hopefully, Kacchan’s love was in here, too. Even just a tiny sprinkle.

 

Suddenly, every horrible thing he was feeling a while ago was quelled. The ponies, Kirishima’s treason, and IcyHot’s weaponry suddenly didn’t matter because it didn’t deserve his attention—Kacchan did.

 

“K-K-K-Kacchan…!” Deku wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to say thank you and ask why among other things but he really couldn’t find proper words right now. It wasn’t easy jumping from “I want to kill everyone” to “My life is so perfect right now”.

 

“Kacchaaaaaaan!”

 

“You were up late.” It seemed Kacchan was attentive to the nuances of how Deku said his name. “I mean, that’s gotta affect your focus. It doesn’t help that I saw you having a burger yesterday. Like hell you’re patrolling my zone with less than ideal nutrition. Do that shit on your own area, god damn it.”

 

Deku couldn’t really put a finger on what exactly was different with his childhood friend right now but something was off with how he was looking away. He looked a bit irate, but not really. His eyes were shifty, only glaring at Deku from time-to-time throughout his sentence. Hmm. This was unusual. Why didn’t Deku have any stocked info in his head on this? So he blinked at the blonde man in front of him, trying to memorize this image and body language for future reference.

 

But unlike his online digital renditions, real Kacchan didn’t like getting stared at like this and it took him only a few moments of Deku’s stupid ogling before he started getting irritated.

 

“Can you give me the fucking sandwich now!?”

 

“Ah!” Deku exclaimed before hurriedly picking up his clubhouse sandwich and his juice so he could give them to Kacchan.

 

“I…” Deku hesitated as he tried to point at the parts he had bitten off. “I already bit on—”

 

Obviously. ” The blonde man didn’t even bother to look at Deku. He was too busy studying the sandwich like he had to learn from it or something. Deku internally wished he was that sandwich.

 

“Th-the juice, I also already—”

 

“I know .” The blonde man glared at him. “I can see that. I’m neither blind nor stupid.”

 

That was not the point Deku was trying to make but okay. Maybe indirect kisses weren’t really something Kacchan cared about but oh-kay. That was fine . Deku was calm . He’s chill. Yep. Totally.

 

Kacchan bit on the sandwich.

 

MMMMUAH.

 

Deku had to swallow a strange noise that was threatening to escape from the pit of his very thirsty feelings. He watched as his very handsome indirect kissing partner thoughtfully chewed on his sandwich (and Deku’s love). He swallowed. Deku gulped, too.

 

“This shit is what you have for lunch?” Kacchan grimaced like the clubhouse offended him. “Fast food, Deku? God damn it .”

 

“Hey, not everyone can make lunch for themselves!” Deku exclaimed, pouting a bit before looking at the precious lunch box he was holding. “The rest of the world isn’t as amazing as you.”

 

There was a sound of more chewing before Kacchan went, “Are you fuckin’ mocking me?”

 

“I’m telling the truth.” Deku said with a tone of finality. “I don’t have it in me to make lunch for myself every day.”

 

“Yeah, okay, sure, cool story, so are you going to eat that or not !?” Kacchan’s left eye twitched as he aggressively pointed at the open lunch box that Deku was holding. “‘Coz let’s give it to someone who wants it if you’d rather have potato chips! Come on, you ungrateful fuck! Give it here!”

 

“Argh! No, I want it !” Deku scampered back as carefully and hurriedly as he could, moving the lunch box out of Kacchan’s reach.

 

“Then eat it !” Kacchan motioned to throw a punch.


“I will !” Deku lifted his leg in an attempt to block. Or something like that.

 

And so that’s what they did, but not before Deku took pictures of his beloved lunch. Kacchan kept mocking him for it, insisting that he should just go ahead and eat it before it went cold, and that if it did go cold before it got eaten, he was literally going to wipe this water tank with Deku’s face. Now he did get what Kacchan wanted to say but it was of equal importance to preserve the memory of Deku’s very first lunch box. By his crush . To be honest, he also wanted to take a picture of Kacchan so he could file it in a scrapbook or whatever but that seemed a little too much to ask. He just might literally get an explosion in the face. And not the sexy kind.

 

After all the necessary documentation was done and over with, Deku silently thanked all gods again for this blessing of Kacchan’s cooking, tight shirts, and perky nipples before he proceeded to eat. Meanwhile, the blonde man next to him had wolfed down the clubhouse and was now giving more indirect kisses via the juice box straw.

 

Deku wished he was also that straw.

 

“So…” Kacchan broke the silence. “What were you screaming about just now?”


Deku choked on an omelette roll and the ponies just came stampeding back into his head.

 

“I wasn’t—!”

 

“I’ve known you for years , Deku.” Kacchan shot back immediately. “Just one look at how you move and I can tell if you’re aggravated by something.”

 

Fair enough. Even Deku could tell such things about Kacchan from just body movement, too. But he was far away from—

 

Even from that distance.” Kacchan interrupted Deku’s thought process. Deku just pursed his lips.

 

Okay, what to do? He didn’t want to tell Kacchan the details of what he read, but he also didn’t have a good reason to be panicking in broad daylight. But what was he to say? How much had Kacchan seen anyway? What exactly did Deku look like from where he was observing? Lying was difficult and Deku did not know how other people did it with ease. He sure as hell wasn’t cut for this.

 

Fine .” Kacchan finally clicked his tongue and scratched his head as he looked away. “If you don’t want to tell me what you were wailing about then fine . But don’t you fuckin’ try to tell me you weren’t panicking over something because I will call bullshit. I’m not stupid .”

 

Kacchan glared at him like it was a silent way to end a sentence.

 

They looked at each other for a while, one measuring the other. Deku felt like he needed to say something because his friend wanted to know. After all, if it was Kacchan he saw aggravated over something, wouldn’t he want to know the reason, too?

 

Right.

 

Kacchan looked away first, grumbling something like “—hhrgshema” or whatever.

 

“It’s no big deal.” Deku smiled as he poked an egg roll with his chopsticks. “I was just checking out stuff online and saw some things that were upsetting until it made me sad and angry at the same time.” He shrugged. “Got carried away.”

 

Translation: I have seen things, Kacchan. Things I never imagined existed. Things you would never understand.

 

“Why’d you keep checking it then?” Kacchan raised an eyebrow with an expression he’d wear if Deku had dumbly walked right into a pole. “If it upsets you or anything, fuckin’ leave it alone. Where’s the god damn logic in burying your nose in irrelevant shit to the point of sadness and anger?”

 

Deku shrugged again as Kacchan drank more juice before he continued talking.

 

“Unless it goes out of its way to bug you even after you ignore it then in which case, win .”

 

Win? Deku furrowed his eyebrows. What did he mean? Just what did he think was this conversation about?

 

“So... I should... Fight them…?”


Kacchan rolled his eyes away.

 

“I said win , not fight , you idiot. There are many ways to win something.” And then he paused as if to think before giving Deku a small knowing smile, playfully poking his fingers at Deku’s forehead. “Don’t tell me that you , of all people, have forgotten that, nerd?”

 

Ah. Was the only thing Deku could think as he felt his head tip back lightly. He wished this was a deeper conversation to him than just being upset about other ships and unexpected anthropomorphic porn. What was going on in Kacchan’s head? What was he talking about? What did he think this was about? That was a dangerous question, though, as it would risk Deku getting exposed.

 

“Yeah. You’re right.” Deku smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Kacchan.”

 

The man only made a small noise as if to say, “Of course, I’m right.” Deku giggled just because. Kacchan scoffed next to him. For the next few  moments, they sat next to each other in peace with Deku eating his lunch and Kacchan making noises with the empty juice carton he was still sipping from.

 

“So who’s them?” Kacchan asked from the corner of his lips, straw sticking out of his mouth, the juice box almost falling off.

“Who?” Deku asked before taking a swig from his water bottle.

 

“Them.” Kacchan replied as he leaned back on his palms. “You were going to fight them . I heard you.”

 

“Oh.” Deku wiped his arm across his lips before shrugging. “That? Nobody that matters anymore.”

 

That seemed to be good enough of an answer. The juice carton finally gave up and fell off the straw. Kacchan caught it easily with his large hand.

 

“Stupid fucking fast food.” He grumbled as he crushed the box between his fingers. “I still can’t believe you think this is okay.”

 

“I told you—”

 

“I heard you already.” Kacchan cut him off. “You’re incompetent about food. I know . Shut the fuck up. I have a right to a fuckin’ opinion about you, god damn it.”

 

Kacchan threw the juice carton at him. It bounced lightly off Deku’s shoulder and then onto the water tank’s surface. Kacchan stretched his hand to grab it but it tumbled out of his reach. He cursed and crawled awkwardly after it, catching it eventually before it flew off the water tank. Deku laughed.

 

“Fuck you, asshole.” Kacchan punched him in the shoulder a little harder than he should as he sat back down next to Deku who just kept smiling with a small and playful, “Ow!” But then suddenly, there was a warm hand cradling the left side of his face—”Tsk. Look here a sec.”—and a thumb tracing the skin underneath his eye and Deku froze .

 

It was one of those moments when he hoped time would stop.

 

His big hand was rough and calloused but it felt so strong and warm against Deku’s cheek. Oh. This was… This was nice. Had he always been capable of a touch so gentle? Had his eyes always been that concerned? Had he always been this handsome up close? Had his lips always been inviting like that?

 

All questions were lost when Kacchan drew closer as if to study him. Deku’s heart was going to burst.

 

What is he doing!? Too close! Too close! Too close!

 

Deku panicked and squeezed his eyes shut as he flinched. He wasn’t ready for this! If he came any closer, he just might mash their mouths together!

 

“K-Ka—”

 

“Tsk, you fuckwit!” Kacchan flicked him hard on the forehead, just enough for it to sting. Deku yelped in pain, hands flying to touch his forehead because what the hell !?


“What did I do !?” Deku complained because his heart was still hammering against his ribcage, demanding justice.

 

“I told you last time that you have circles under your eyes already.” Kacchan hollered at him as he crossed his arms over his chest. “They look darker now. You think that looks good, fuckhead?!”

 

“What does it matter if I look good or bad?!”

 

Because, really, why !?

 

Because ,” Kacchan spoke as-a-matter-of-fact-ly as he lifted his head. “I don’t like looking at ugly shit.” And then he did that half-smirk smile that made Deku’s stomach do little flips.

 

You stupid Deku .”

Chapter Text

Deku felt like a high school sap but he did not care and could not even anymore.

 

One question. Six words. Fifty thousand feelings.

 

“Can I call you again tonight?”

 

Damn if Deku didn’t kick the word “no” out of his vocabulary so fast.

 

In fact, Deku was so happy and eager, he said “QUEST” instead of “YES” while spitting rice bits into Kacchan’s face, causing a very irritated blonde hottie to jab him right in the thigh because “are you making fun of me, fucking Deku!?”. But seriously, even if Kacchan sent Deku’s nose cartilage up his brain, he probably wouldn’t have felt it because scheduled phone call . Dumbee-dum-dum! KatZuku phone date!

 

Well, not that it was a lovey-dovey thing. Kacchan only wanted a proper report and he figured phone calls were a good way to have them without ruining protocol or having to deal with verifications for e-mail check outs. Deku would file via the main terminals and then he’d give Kacchan an oral report of what happened.

 

“I can ask questions when we’re on the phone so I think that’s a plus.” Kacchan said as he leaned back on his palms, his eyes on the city, and the wind in his hair. “Then I can cross check with the logs when I get back.”

 

“Mrue, mrue.” Deku nodded as he chewed on the last of his pork cutlet.

 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, stupid Deku!” Kacchan yelled, motioning to hit him.

 

“Hiiee! Sorry!” Deku flinched, closing one eye and moving the lunch box away from Kacchan to protect it.

 

“You really piss me off, fucking hell .” Kacchan scratched his head before taking a deep breath and reverting to seriously-giving-instructions mode. “Text me when you get home so I know what time I can call, got it?”

 

Deku wanted to reply with “Got it!” but he was still chewing. Perhaps that gave time for Kacchan to follow up with, “I don’t want to keep you up all night again...” And then he looked away. Cute.

How Deku didn’t reply with “Yes, darling”, he would never know. It kind of bugged him how there were no fics that had Deku saying “Yes, darling” to Zero at all. Someone had to write it. Someone would. Eventually, he hoped.

 

Maybe it was also thanks to his recent ZeKu consumption that made him think of all sorts of sexual innuendos when Kacchan mentioned about “keeping him up all night”. If Kacchan could read minds, he’d know that Deku’s internal reply was “You can keep me all night long.” But Deku couldn’t say, that, of course. Kacchan would definitely whirlwind kick him in the esophagus.

 

They parted ways after lunch break. Deku insisted on taking the lunch box with him so he could at least take it home and wash it clean when he returned it. It was the least he could do after Kacchan went through all the trouble of making food for him. Kacchan just smirked and told him it was no trouble, that he just really didn’t want Deku to patrol on an empty stomach, that he shouldn’t flatter himself because Kacchan just did this for the patrol zone.

 

“I’m not patrolling on an empty stomach!” Deku reasoned as he watched Kacchan tie up the wrapping cloth into a makeshift shoulder bag for him to bring around.

 

“You had a burger for lunch, Deku!”

 

“It was a big burger…!” Because he had to defend his food choices one way or another.

 

“Still a fucking burger!” Kacchan said angrily, shoving the bundle in Deku’s arms. “Wash that properly. I don’t want it smelling when it comes back to me. Should be squeaky clean.”

 

“Yes, sir !” Deku did a mock salute with squinty eyes and chest out, which Kacchan just rammed with the side of his fist.

 

“Fuck you!”

 

Deku just cough and laughed. Both of them jumped skillfully down the water tank with Deku almost losing footing thanks to how he was so distracted with Kacchan’s mid-air movements. God, he was so pretty. Such a natural. Kacchan was awesome. He was the best .

 

I wish I was that body-hugging shirt.

 

They said goodbyes and parted ways when they were on the street. Kacchan had to reiterate the plan for the call and the cleanliness of the lunchbox before walking away. Deku let his gaze linger on his crush for a while, his broad shoulders were so Nnngh™. And also those arms. Now that he thought about it, this was the first time he was actually getting to stare at Kacchan’s ass. Deku bit at his knuckles. Baggy shorts kind of didn’t accentuate him much but maybe that was for the better. Wouldn’t want him walking like sex on a stick now, would he? Deku said a short prayer to thank this world for his perfect crush (okay, maybe not too perfect, but the gods knew what he meant) before turning around to go his own way.

 

He missed how Kacchan looked back at him just before he turned.

 

The entire day came and went without incident. He met the children from the park and they followed him to the hospice as Kacchan mentioned. That had been a blast. He also visited the preschool earlier this morning already but he checked back on them again just in case. The pretty preschool teacher asked how Kacchan was. She was pleased to find out that he was okay and that he would be resuming his patrol tomorrow.

 

“The children would love that!” she smiled, clasping her hands together.

 

Of course, the children would.

 

But it was none of his business how this lady was crushing on Kacchan. All was fair in love and war. It just so happened that Deku had better strategic positioning and tactical advantage. Smackbang. This lady. Other men. Other women. Other heroes. Whoever else he didn’t know. They all shared the same thing—Kacchan didn’t make lunch for them. Deku had that privilege. And no one can take that away from him.

 

Deku had never been so excited to end a shift. He liked to think that Kacchan was excited, too. That was probably what pushed him to text his phone date— ASDHAJKHDKAHDASQUEEEEEE—as he headed back to the Heroes HQ to file his report.

 

Shift ended! Logging off then headed home…! :)

 

It didn’t take long for his phone to chime. Deku excitedly checked his message and—

 

Ok

 

Deku frowned at his screen.

 

What the hell? Really? He put an exclamation point, three extra periods, proper capitalization, and a smiley at the end. And Kacchan’s reply was two letters !? Without punctuation!? Deku pouted. Fine. Two could play this game. Maybe Deku shouldn’t really want to appear too eager about this even though he really was. So he decided that his next message was going to be when he got home. Hopefully, that’ll show Kacchan not to reply with two letters.

 

Right. No texting Kacchan until he got home. No messages. Nope. Nothing.

 

Deku was going to be steadfast! And firm!

 

His resolve lasted for a few minutes. Deku checked his phone after finishing his report and found one public service advisory message and nothing from Kacchan. To be honest, he really wasn’t sure why he was expecting the man to text. It’s just that… He felt that the lunch meant something? Kacchan wouldn’t cook for him if he didn’t care, right?

 

Or was he really doing it for the patrol zone?

 

Urgh. What was he doing getting his hopes up!?

 

So he stared at his phone for a while more, mentally threatening it to give him a message or something, but the screen just went black to hibernate on him. Damn. Fine. He was going to text just before he properly logged off. Besides, something in Deku didn’t want Kacchan to have the last word. Or letters.

 

omw home

 

Yeah. Acronyms . Kacchan wasn’t the only one who can—ding!—went his phone.

 

k

 

Deku’s eyes widened as he brought the phone closer to his face. One letter!? That was it !? What in the world was “ k” ? K for Katsuki!? Really!? He fricken shortened the already shortened ok !? Did Kacchan really have to one up him on everything!?

 

Okay. Stop. He took a deep breath.

 

Again, why was he expecting anything else than this? So Kacchan made him lunch. Big deal. Deku was obviously the only one excited about their scheduled call. For all he knew, Kacchan might have been annoyed that he was receiving these updates at all. His instruction was to text him when Deku got home, right? So technically, sending location updates counted as not following instructions.

 

A bit down and disappointed, Deku logged off from duty, stuffed his phone in his bag, and headed to the cafeteria to get bottled water. Or maybe a snack. He really wasn’t in the mood to wait in line for takeout right now so he was thinking of getting bread from the cafeteria then making himself a hotdog sandwich or something when he got home. Good plan.

 

So he marched into the cafeteria, trying not to pout at his crush’s lack of enthusiasm over the scheduled KatZuku phone date. As he made his way towards the vending machine, Deku could overhear some Heroes talking about some incidents in certain areas today. As it seemed, villain groups were starting to form alliances with one another and operating in a much more organized manner. There was also talk about how some villains were turning themselves in for the proposed rehabilitation project to help some lesser criminals turn a new leaf and start a new life. That was an interesting path. Izuku would like to know more of that.

 

Izuku was in the middle of eating his raisin bread when he spotted Kaminari seated alone on one of the tables. His back was facing Izuku but even from this angle, it was obvious that he looked tired and down from how he seemed to be hunched forward. Maybe Izuku should check in on his friend really quick?

 

“Hey there, Kamina—Woah!”

 

One look and anyone would know that Kaminari Denki was stressed . If Kacchan thought Izuku had circles under his eyes, wait until he saw Kaminari. Not only were his eyes red and kind of droopy, he was also very pale and… dry ? Was he hit by an aging Quirk? Did someone start sucking out his youth? Was he turning into a tree?

 

“K-Kaminari…?” Izuku wasn’t sure if how to open this conversation as he studied his friend. “Are you… Are you okay?!”

 

“Do I look like I’m okay, Midoriya?” He grunted, obviously irritable, cradling a cup of choco in his hands.

 

“Well, no, but…” Izuku sat on the chair across him. He put his bag and the lunch bundle under the table. “What happened? Can I help?”

 

Kaminari paused for effect before looking at his hot choco and sipping on it. Izuku waited patiently as he slowly put the cup down and took a deep breath, closing his eyes and then dramatically opening it again.

 

“The omegaverse fucking happened.”

 

Izuku tilted his head.

 

“The what now?”

 

“The omegaverse…!” Kaminari exclaimed and then groaned before heavily scratching his head.“A—It’s—The thing —”

 

Kaminari’s inability to finish sentences while doing flailing gestures was confusing but Izuku waited. Maybe it was a big issue that needed time to explain. Maybe it was a difficult, complicated thing. Izuku could feel himself furrow his eyebrows in an attempt to understand his friend. Strangely, the term omegaverse seemed familiar to him. He just didn’t know where he’s heard of it exactly.

 

“Argh! I give up!” Kaminari planted his forehead on the table in frustration with a thud before lifting his head to look at Izuku. “See, I can’t even explain without having a relapse, you know? I’m just—I’m going to zap Ashido as soon as she gets here.”

 

“I heard my name!” Ashido approached right on cue, lifting a paper cup as if to signal a toast at them. “What’s up, boys?”

 

Izuku just casually pointed at Kaminari.

 

“The omegaverse, he says.”

The innocent plant next to Ashido sure didn’t know what hit it when she sprayed the drink in her mouth right onto its leaves before she started coughing. Izuku got up worriedly to see if she was okay. He held her small paper cup for her and rubbed her back to help calm her down as she complained about water going up her nose. A few seconds of that and Kaminari being so eerily silent, Ashido managed to straighten up, wipe her face and throw a very delayed reaction.

 

“Excuse me?!”

 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know this, alien witch!” Kaminari slammed the table with one hand while the other pointed an accusing finger at the pink-skinned girl. Izuku wasn’t sure what was happening.

 

“Oh, wait, what ? Hold on, bro, maybe I just got here ?” Ashido walked towards the table, one hand on her hip, and the hand doing sassy wavy gestures that Deku kind of wanted to learn. “I mean, how—Wait, omegaverse ? Did you just say ome —” Her fingers rubbed the space between her forehead as she sighed. “Mother of god, I need to sit .”  

 

Ashido took a deep breath and sat across Kaminari. Izuku decided to do the same except he sat on the head of the table. He felt the need to be in between these two.

 

“Okay. What is going on?” Ashido crossed her fingers as she leaned forward. “Why are we talking about this? Tell me everything.

 

Oh, here goes. Izuku braced himself.

 

Apparently, Kaminari got riled up by being teased by Ashido who was saying he couldn’t handle reading fanfiction. So hoping to prove her sorry ass wrong, he tried taking on that challenge. In secret. Izuku was already seeing how this was starting to go wrong, but okay. And, yeah, now that this was brought up, he did remember seeing omegaverse tags. He just hadn’t explored that yet.

 

And so, without telling Ashido or asking her for guidance, Kaminari read that Todoroki-centric 1-A fic and enjoyed it quite a bit so he decided, hey, why not read more? Izuku could understand that, yes. So Kaminari searched for something that had his name on it. He even set it to explicit because he didn’t want “baby shit”. One query returned a lot of search results, much to his delight.

 

Izuku wanted to swallow hard. Jumping from G or T to E rating was like saying “I don’t want to be cold so I set fire to myself”.

 

“Now I really didn’t wanna find another Todoroki-centric one, yeah?” Kaminari tilted his head as if to ask for agreement, to which both Ashido and Izuku nodded. It was difficult to escape the shadow of IcyHot, though. He wasn’t King of Fanfiction for nothing.

 

“Okay. Yeah. So what I did was— Fuuuuuck .” Kaminari ran a hand down his face and took a deep breath before resuming. Izuku felt like he knew where this was going except he just wanted to know with who ?

 

“So, yeah. Hooboy.” Kaminari rubbed his hands together and then rubbed his palms on the table as if that would give him some anchor to keep talking. Izuku internally cheered him on.

 

You can do this, Kaminari!

 

“Soooooo, then , I figured, if I wanted to read a fic that’s mainly centered on me , I should check the tags that has a lot of my name on it, right?”

 

Wrong! Izuku’s inner voice made a high-pitched shriek.


“Ohhhh, gooooood !” Ashido slapped a hand over her mouth and Izuku cringed visibly. This definitely, definitely won’t be good from this point onwards. This was actually looking worse than what he was initially expecting.

 

“I know , right? God .” Kaminari rubbed his arms and kicked his feet under the table like he was trying to shake off bugs that were crawling on his skin. “I saw this weird-ass fuckin shit whose title was… I don’t know, my brain erased it. But it sounded cool and all. Anyway, it had a bunch of tags with a lot of instances with name on it and lots of Hero names next to mine like…”

 

Izuku held his breath.

 

Don’t say slash. Don’t say slash. Don’t say slash.

 

“Like Chargebolt slash Cementoss.”

 

Never mind.

 

“Oh my goooooooooooooooood !” Ashido said, louder and more terrified than the previous. Izuku held her hand because same .

 

“Riiiiiiiiiight?” Kaminari was hitting the table again. “But I thought... Cool, cool! It’s a lot of me partnered with other Heroes so that means we go on all sorts of missions and all that shit, yeah?”

 

“Nooooooooooooooooooo!” Ashido groaned again, squeezing Izuku’s fingers to help cope.

 

“Kaminari.” Was all Izuku could say, eyes not leaving the blonde and gently tapping on his female friend’s hands to let her know that he was there and suffering second-hand embarrassment with her.

 

“I told you to read the tags!” Ashido spoke like a mother asking where she went wrong. “I told you !”

 

“I did! I saw the word omegaverse and—”

 

“And!?”

 

“And, well…” Kaminari made a face as he scratched the back of his neck and shrugged. “I… Kinda thought it was an apocalyptic theme. Coz, you know, it sounded cool. The Alpha and Omega? Beginning and the end? Omegaverse? End of the world?”

 

Ashido made a strangled noise of confusion and gaped at him for a good second before turning into another groaning mess of disappointment.

 

“Kaminariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…!”

 

And the blonde replied.

 

“I knooooooooooooooooooow !”

 

Okay, at this point, Izuku was starting to get lost. He understood what all those slash pairings meant. It was a whole lot of, well, he doubted it was a whole lot of explicit fluff so, yeah. There was probably a lot of fucking involved. Was that what an omegaverse was? A whole lot of fucking?

 

“I just…” Ashido murmured, elbows on the table, forehead resting on her interwoven fingers. “ Why didn’t you do an online search for the meaning of omegaverse ?”

 

“I told you , I thought it meant apocalypse!”

 

“Kaminari Denki …!” Ashido groaned again.

 

“I regret my decision , okay!?” Kaminari sounded like he was half-sobbing.

 

“Um…” Izuku began, meekly raising his hand to get attention. “I’m sorry, but what is an omegaverse?”

 

Kaminari made a choking sound before gesturing to Ashido as a silent urge for her to just get on with it.

 

It was a very long explanation.

 

As it turned out, an omegaverse was kind of an AU that involved hierarchical systems among its characters. There were Alphas, Betas, and Omegas where the Alphas and Omegas are often the most important to take note of. Izuku was not sure if he was ready for what came after that but he was down the rabbit hole anyway and he doubted this would be worse than pony sex ed.

 

There were so many rules and dynamics to the omegaverse. Izuku could only remember so much. Generally, alphas were highest in rank. Omegas could get pregnant. Alphas were dominant and tend to be possessive. Omegas were usually submissive. Omegas were also self-lubricating, which he honestly thought was useful , not that Izuku had anything in mind he’d like to try. There was also this thing called a “knot” that both Ashido and Kaminari had difficulty explaining and neither of them would let Izuku do an image search for it on the spot. Perhaps later? The high-pitched shriek from Kaminari was disturbing. This man had seen things.


What intrigued Izuku most, however, was the bond between lovers. If he understood this correctly, an Alpha could link or bond with an Omega and own them, often for life. This was usually done by the Alpha marking or biting an Omega to exhibit possession. There were also things about scents and shots and heats and ruts that Izuku couldn’t properly grasp in one go because Kaminari kept giving unsolicited groaning commentary in-between.

 

“Wait.” Izuku rubbed his chin. “If this was something that included bonds and… And permanent partners… Why were there so many pairings with Kaminari?”

 

“Well,” Ashido was quick to explain, “As I said a while ago, sometimes, writers like to change certain dynamics of—”

 

“Coz I was a god damn prized Omega !” Kaminari hit the table so hard, his cup jumped and spilled some of the now cold choco as it sloshed around. “I was a golden Omega of some sort and I started out in a noble house so I thought I was a prince or some shit so I said cool but yoooooooo…! Things got really nasty, really fast.”

 

“Golden Omega?” Izuku and Ashido chorused, tilting their heads in the same angle to the right in curiosity.

 

“Yeah, in the story, I was kind of special. Anyone who… Like…” Kaminari took a deep breath and sipped his choco before clicking his tongue. “Any Alpha who stuck their god-forsaken schlong in me gained some sort of magical level up or some shit. I don’t properly know anymore! I just know it’s something that can only be passed on sexually!”

 

“So you…” Ashido sounded like she was trying to be careful. “Your character was abused?”

 

“Abused?!” Kaminari almost shrieked in disbelief. “My character liked it ! I—He— It was begging for more and was so fucking willing all the god damn time and I was like whyyyyyyyyyyy!?”

 

The blonde electric Hero then slumped his head between his folded arms on the table, groaning the entire time. Izuku want to pet him on the head but he really wasn’t sure if Kaminari wanted to be touched right now.

 

“All the—” Ashido raised an eyebrow and pushed the cup of choco away as if it was intruding with her conversation with Kaminari. “Wait a minute. You finished the story?”

 

“Are you insane ?!” Kaminari was quick to lift his head with a very offended hiss. “Of course, I didn’t!”

 

“Then how did you know?”

 

“See, I was really in this for the action so I was… You know.” Kaminari straightened and took back his cup like it was an external source of comfort. “I was trying to understand what All Might was doing to me—my character—in chapter one.”

 

“Ack.” Izuku bit his lip and did not hold back from cringing visibly because no . Just no . All Might was too sacred for this. Izuku prayed he’d never see All Might smut anything. He’d like the image of his idol untarnished, thank you very much.

 

“I was hoping it wasn’t what I thought it was because…” Kaminari made a confused face like there weren’t words to describe what he was so bewildered with right now.“...Because why !?”

 

The only answer to why was because . It happened because it happened. Because the fans could. But Izuku didn’t feel like he should say that. Neither Kaminari nor Ashido knew what he had been reading so far or who he was shipping. And to be honest, he wasn’t ready to let other people know yet. Less talk, less mistakes.

 

“So then I skimmed the other chapters because I was like no waaaaaaaay, man. No way All Might did that then next fucking chapter was god damn Endeavor and I was…” Kaminari swallowed air with a short squeak. “Dude, that’s Todoroki’s dad!”


“We know.” Ashido said without thinking.

 

“Then Todoroki had me next chapter and I’m just... What the fuck !?”

 

Izuku wanted to point out that to be fair, Todoroki seemed to have everyone. He was willing to bet that Aizawa-sensei had a shot at Kaminari, too, as strange as that sounded.

 

“Kaminari, how could you not —” Ashido began but the other man was quick to shoot down whatever she was going to say.

“They didn’t use the word dick, okay?” The blonde Hero shrugged and made faces. “No penis. No cock. Nothing. Maybe they were being creative by using a different made-up word for it or something but, hey, I didn’t get that they meant thing that’s used to fuck. I assumed when they said shaft, hardness, length, I thought they were talking about a weapon or some shit, because one, dicks weren’t supposed to be the size of logs and two, regular penises didn’t have knots.” And then he leaned forward with wide bloodshot eyes at Ashido and whispered, “I know because I checked.

 

“Oh my g—!” Ashido leaned back with a grimace, picking up her empty paper cup from earlier and throwing it at Kaminari’s temple. “I did not need to know that, Kaminari Denki. What the fuck ?!”

 

“I was a Golden Omega, Ashido.” Kaminari spoke apathetically as the empty paper cup bounced off his head and tumbled on the table. “My ass was a fucking elixir. Your threats and derogatives are meaningless .”

 

Izuku smiled wanly and Ashido shook her head. Kaminari resumed his lamenting.

 

“Uuuurgh. Do I look like I’d do something like that? Do I seem like I’d want to be fucked by multiple men? Or a slab of concrete? Why would they write that? What kind of sick person would write that!?”

 

“The kind that writes for readers with the same sick minds.” Ashido shrugged.

 

“What kind of people are those!?” Kaminari exclaimed. “How is it okay that they’re doing this!?”

 

“Other people’s fetishes are none of your business, Kaminari.”  Ashido said levelly.

 

I’m the victim here!” Kaminari pointed a thumb at himself.

 

“No, you’re not…!” Ashido slammed a palm against the table and leaned forward with very stern eyes. “You could’ve read the tags. You could’ve researched. You could’ve been diligent. And no one made you read the thing. That’s all on you.”

 

Wow. She really felt strongly about this.

 

“I didn’t get what the tags meant, okay?!”

 

“How is that their fault?” Her dark eyes widened, clearly getting heated with how the discussion was going. “It was rated properly. You chose explicit! The omegaverse word was there . And all the ships were accounted for!”

 

“I didn’t know what it meant!”

 

“Again, how is that the writer’s fault, you filthy casual!?”

 

They’re filthy!” Kaminari pointed to somewhere or wherever. Their voices were getting louder and people were starting to give them looks. Oh, oh, should Izuku stop this or…?


“And you’re an idiot!” Ashido jabbed a finger on Kaminari’s shoulder. “You’re not the target audience but you waltzed in there anyway! It’s not like they made you read it.”

 

“If it didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have found it!”

 

“Point still stands!” Ashido leaned back and crossed her arms defiantly. “They didn’t make you read it. It’s all on you .

 

“It’s their creative space, Kaminari.” Izuku finally found some courage to calmly intervene. “They aren’t saying you’re like that . They just... have this story and you fit a certain role in their minds. That’s all there is to it. But it doesn’t really mean they disrespect you. I think it is, in fact, the other way around. The more they like you, the more they make content of you. It’s just that there are so many different people out there with a lot of different tastes. And you can’t judge a person with just that.”

 

So much for less talk, less mistakes.

 

“Truth…!” Ashido slapped Izuku on the back encouragingly, eyes not leaving Kaminari. “That’s why it’s called Archive You Don’t Own . It can’t cater to having guaranteed safe spaces for specific tastes and whatever. Don’t take it personally.”

 

Kaminari made a contemplating sound but didn’t seem he wanted to argue anymore.

 

“Remember,” Ashido waved a finger at him. “The rule is don’t like, don’t read .”


He grumbled again, pouting thoughtfully.

 

“Hmm… Yeah. I guess you guys are right.” He leaned back and started running a finger on the rim of his cup of choco as he shrugged. “I mean… I am cute and all that.”

 

Izuku sighed in relief. Well, that was tense.

 

“Tell me you didn’t leave a mean comment on the thing.”

 

“Ashido, I literally couldn’t sleep after reading that.” Kaminari replied before taking another sip from his choco. “As in zero shuteye. I took care of thieving incident today with literally no sleep. All I wanted was to get the fuck away from that fic. What makes you think I’d like to engage in any form of conversation with the writer if I didn’t like what they were writing? What am I gonna do? Sue them ? For what ? Burying the holy grail in my ass? I might be a filthy casual but I have common sense.”

 

Ashido smiled widely and put a hand on Kaminari’s shoulder.

 

“I’m proud of you for taking it like a champ.”

“Aaaaargh! Don’t say it like that…! ” It was Kaminari’s turn to throw the paper cup at Ashido who laughed. Izuku was also laughing with them when a familiar voice called out to him.

 

“Deku-senpai!” Smackbang hurriedly and breathlessly ran to him from the door. “Waaah! I’m glad I found you!”

 

“Hi, Smackbang…!” Izuku nodded at him. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Ground Zero… Ground Zero called and...”

 

Ohhhhhhhhh dear fuck ! Izuku knew what that meant…! He was going to be killed !

 

“Ah! Kacchan!” Izuku yelped as he stood up, grabbing his bag and the lunchbox bundle from under the table. “Sorry if this is sudden, but I have to go, guys! Good job today!”

 

“Sure.” Ashido waved at him.

“Yeah, go.” Kaminari nodded at him. “Your Alpha beckons.”

 

Don’t call him that !” Izuku complained, waving his hands as he felt his face heat up. “I mean, he isn’t—! We’re not—!”

 

“S-senpai, what do I tell Ground Zero?” Smackbang asked timidly.

 

“Nothing.” Izuku sternly told him with the most serious eyes he could muster. “Don’t text him or anything. I’ll call him and explain everything. Do I have your support?”

 

“Y-yes.” Smackbang nodded absently. It seemed this was the first time he’d seen Izuku’s serious face up close.

 

“Good.” Izuku tapped him on the shoulder before starting hurriedly out of the cafeteria. “Thanks, Smackbang...!”

 

“Y-you’re welcome!” The newbie Hero waved after him. “And good luck!”

 

Good luck!? Holy hell, Kacchan must’ve been spewing lava over the phone if Smackbang had to wish him good luck .

 

Izuku hurriedly dug into his bag to pull out his phone.

 

No network signal!

 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

 

He was so dead! He was definitely so dead!

 

Izuku ran out the Heroes HQ as fast as he could, looking like a fleeing criminal as he desperately tried to pull out his earphones so he could call Kacchan while running. After finally getting them from the bottomless pit that was his bag, Izuku then struggled to jam the damn jack into the—”Ah! I’m sorry for bumping into you! I’m sorry!”—into the stupid and not cooperating—”Oh! I’m sorry! In a hurry! Sorry!”— stupid fucking audio hole whatever this was called!

 

God damn it, why didn’t he ever consider buying a bluetooth headset?!

 

After bumping into the nth person already, Izuku figured he had to get away from the stream of people on the sidewalk. So what were his options? Bus? Might take too long. Run? Yeah. One for All could handle this. This Quirk had saved a lot of people. Time to save Izuku’s love life!

 

Thirty three thousand years later, the audio jack finally connected and Izuku finally managed to dial. Quirk active, he made a sharp turn into the dark alleys to somehow parkour his way home away from the main street.

 

“Come on…” Izuku mumbled as he bounced from one wall to another, clinging onto frames, jumping onto rooftops, leaping over buildings.

 

RING! RING! RING!

 

“Come... on …!” Izuku grunted, wanting to punch something out of sheer frustration.

 

RING! RING! RI—Click!

 

Ah!

 

“Kacchan, let me ex—!”

 

NOW YOU CALL ME!?”

 

Holy fuck, did thunder answer the call!? What the hell!? Kacchan’s voice was so loud and authoritative that Izuku almost lost footing in shock.

 

“I’m sor—”

 

“WHERE ARE YOU, YOU FUCKING NUMBSKULL!?”

 

His voice sounded like explosions. Holy shit!

“O-o-o-o-on my way home!” Izuku ducked underneath a metal beam and leapt off a chimney. “ I’m sorry!”

 

“YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF PIG SHIT !” Kacchan’s voice was like thunder, lightning, a volcano eruption, a supernova, and the combined wrath of the universe. Izuku felt like a microbe that Kacchan could wipe off with his thumb.

 

“DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG AGO SINCE YOU’VE TEXTED ME THAT, HUH!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!? I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU AND I COULDN’T GET A FUCKING HOLD OF YOUR DWINDLING ASS!”

 

“T-there was no network—!”

 

“HAAAAAAAAA!?” It felt like Kacchan could punch him over the phone if he so wanted.“IS THAT WHAT TOOK YOU A LONG TIME!?”

 

“I-I-I-I got caught up with Kaminari and Ashido in the cafeteria!” Izuku was teary-eyed and guilty now. “I’m sooooorrrrrryyyyyyyy!!”

 

“Got caught up with—WAS IT URGENT !?”

 

“...N-no…”


“WAS ANYONE ON FIRE AND COULD ONLY BE SAVED BY YOUR PISS!?”

 

“N-no...”

 

“THEN WHAT THE HELL, DEKU!?” There was the sound of actual explosions and something crashing. Oh, nooooo. Explodo Murder King was in the throne room.

 

“GOD DAMN IT, I THOUGHT YOU GOT HIT BY A FUCKING ASTEROID , YOU FUCKWAD!”

 

“I’m sorry, Kacchan! I’m sorry! ” Izuku was no longer sure how else he could apologize. “I’m really, really sorry for worrying you!”

 

“FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!”

“Kacchaaaaaaaaaan!” Izuku was literally willing to snivel mid-air if it meant forgiveness. He whizzed past three houses, swung over another beam, and bounced against brick walls, speeding forward. “I’m going as fast as I can! I promise to text you when I get home!”

 

“OH, WOULD YOU, NOW!?”

 

“Kaaaaachaaaaaaaaaaaaan!”

 

Okay, now he felt bad. He was actually complaining about Kacchan’s very short responses earlier today. How dare he be the one to forget about the entire thing!? Fuck that damn omegaverse!

 

“JESUS SHIT, DEKU! YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK! I’M GOING TO SEND YOU INTO A GOD DAMN COMA AS SOON AS YOU GET YOUR ASS HERE!”


“Get there?” Izuku blinked as he leapt over an entire building. “Where are you?”

 

“CAN’T YOU FIGURE THAT OUT ON YOUR OWN BY THAT SENTENCE, YOU STUPID DEKU!?” Kacchan hollered. “ I’M AT YOUR PLACE!

 

Chapter Text

Kacchan was absolutely livid . Izuku could practically smell it in the atmosphere as he approached his apartment building. He was half-expecting the blonde man to just suddenly grab him by the ankle out of nowhere and slam him on the pavement. Or perhaps to be waiting on a rooftop and be glaring at him like a very aggravated checkpoint. But there was nothing of the sort. And that just made it even more terrifying . This silence just meant Kacchan was so angry, he’d rather not move lest he do something he was going to regret—like being explosively violent.

 

True enough, he was standing on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets, throwing Izuku the sharpest of glares as soon as he came into view. Eek! It didn’t help that he’d learned that manner of invoking pressure the same way All Might used to do. It was never fun being on the receiving end of that .

 

“Kacchan!” Izuku kicked off a building wall and torpedoed towards the sidewalk where the god of wrath was currently standing. Kacchan pulled out one hand from his pocket, flexing his fingers with tiny explosions.

 

“You. Fucking—”

 

“I’m—Ah!” Izuku began, but was startled by two teenagers coming out from an alley and right into his trajectory. He swung his leg up, missing the heads of said teenagers just in time. That screwed up his landing significantly, causing him to wobble in mid-air and lose any form of balance or bearing before Kacchan managed to grab him by his wrist. Izuku tumbled into the taller man’s arms—”Kacchan!” “Fuckin’ Deku!”—finding some relief as his foot landed on the pavement, no, on something, er, Kacchan’s foot —”Ow! Fuck!”—as they staggered backwards. It was silly, really, but Izuku was more concerned with keeping Kacchan where he was so he did the most logical thing his poor panicked brain could think of. Izuku clung to him—arms around his shoulders and legs around his waist.

 

“Kacchan!” Izuku squeezed him like it bore the weight of his apology.

 

“W-w-w-what the fuck do you think you’re doing!?” Kacchan fidgeted, tensing against the smaller man’s body as he tried to wriggle free. “ Get off of me!

 

“I’m sorry!” Izuku wailed.

“I said get off of me !” Kacchan yelled at him, his large hand eclipsing Izuku’s face, fingers grabbing his head like angry tentacles. Back when they were way younger, if anyone told Izuku that he would eventually have the courage to clamp his limbs around Kacchan’s body and hang on tighter when yelled at, he never would have believed it.

 

“I said I’m sorry!!” Izuku just cried back, ignoring the looks that people were giving them. Kacchan kept grunting, staggering, moving back and forth to balance themselves on the sidewalk as strangers trotted left and right to get out of their way.

 

“Get the fuck—Grgh!—Get the effing fuck off of me!” Kacchan was now using his arm to push Izuku away, but the smaller held on, fingers gripping the blonde by the shoulders. “You’re a grown ass man, Deku! Have you no shame !?”

 

“I said I’m sor—Ngh—ry! I’m—Gah!—sorry!” Izuku pulled away just enough so he could stare at the angry man in front of him.

 

“Release me before I get any angrier than I already am!” The way the words ground out between gnashed teeth was Izuku’s cue to detach himself. Kacchan grumbled, pulling down his tight shirt that had ridden up his abdomen. Had this been not Explodo Murder Time™, Izuku would’ve tagged this as Nnngh™. But, no. Izuku had fucked up too much to let himself indulge in toned muscles, low-riding cargo shorts, and the waistband of Kacchan’s underwear saying hello.

 

“Kacchan…” He began and the man immediately snapped at him with another glare. Izuku flinched but tried to continue. “I’m sorry…! Let me make it up to you!”

 

Kacchan grumbled, death glare not waning as his mouth twisted but showed no teeth.


Translation: I’m listening .

 

“I’ll treat you to dinner!” Izuku raised a finger but the way Kacchan’s eyes widened like a homicidal person was enough for him to know that “dinner” was the wrong answer.

 

“Do I look like I’m in the mood to go to anywhere that has a fuckton of strangers?!”

 

Izuku’s shoulders fell as he pouted.

 

“N-no…”

 

Kacchan clicked his tongue and stood there for a few seconds, glaring down Izuku who was just looking at his feet. It didn’t matter how excited he was the entire day for their phone call. Having lost track of time made it look like Izuku wasn’t interested. He screwed this up. He fucking screwed this up. And as if punctuating that with a “Yes, you did”, Kacchan turned to leave. That woke Izuku right up.

 

“W-where are you going!?” He squeaked.

 

“Where do you think? Hell!?” Kacchan didn’t even look back at him. “I’m going home!”

 

Oh, no he wasn’t.

“B-b-b-but…!” Izuku chased after him, trotting next to the angry blonde man with nice pecs that Izuku couldn’t pay more attention to right now. “...But the report!”

 

“What does it matter now?!” Kacchan was neither stopping nor looking at him. His eyebrows were still scrunched together. His jaw was still tight. “I’ll just check the logs tomorrow!”

 

What the hell? He said he needed to call so he could cross check Izuku’s direct info with the logs. And now suddenly he didn’t need it? Conflicting statements aside, the logs or the report weren’t really the issue here.

 

Izuku blocked his path. Kacchan stopped, still glaring. Izuku looked him straight in the eye.


“I won’t let you leave when you’re still angry at me!”

 

Kacchan growled, raising his head.

 

“I’m going to fucking punch you with a howitzer in the face, you fucker.”

 

Go ahead. I can take it.

 

There was no need to say it out loud. All Izuku had to do was stand there and meet his glares for Kacchan to stop walking and listen. One second. Two seconds. Three. Izuku took a deep breath and began to explain.

 

“I’m sorry.” He said lowly, humbly, because he was the one at fault. “I was wrong to lose track of time. I apologize to have made you wait like that when we…” He chewed on his lip briefly to find the right words. “...made plans beforehand..”

 

Kacchan growled in response, eyes squinting.

 

Translation: Continue.

 

So he did.

 

“I just wanted to pick up a raisin bread or something. And then I happened to see Kaminari and—”

 

And woke up the dragon one more time.

 

“And then you totally forgot about me , is that it!?”


“Noooooooo!” Izuku frustratedly wiped his hand across his face so hard, he just might have erased his freckles. “My plan was to get bread, go home, make hotdog sandwich, and then wait for you to ca—”

 

All of a sudden, thick fingers had him by the jaw, squeezing his cheeks and pulling him up to meet red angry irises.

 

“Hotdog sandwich?” Kacchan glowered menacingly at him, obviously angry about one more thing over the other. “Your plan. For your dinner. Was a hotdog. Fucking. Sandwich!?”

 

Oh-kay? Izuku wasn’t sure what the right answer was so he just went with the short and honest route.

 

“H-hyesh?”

 

“Oh, for the love of—” Kacchan released Izuku’s jaw with a slight push, making the green-haired man stagger back two steps before the blonde was grabbing him again by the front of his shirt this time. He yanked Izuku forward, their foreheads touching, Kacchan baring his teeth like some angry…

 

“Do you have a fucking deathwish , Deku!?”

 

... alpha wolf .

 

Ohhh, great fuckity-fuck.

 

Not now , brain!

 

“I…!” Izuku had no answer because he was willing away all the omegaverse information he had recently acquired.

 

Besides, what was Kacchan angry about this time ? Before Izuku could even ask, a still aggravated Katsuki Bakugou began dragging him by the front of his shirt into the apartment building,, grumbling expletives and complaints of “Fucking useless shitter can’t even fucking plan your own damn nutrition, god damn it all to hell , Deku!”

 

Okay. Still angry. But on the plus side (maybe?), at least it was for a different reason now. Also, he wasn’t leaving anymore so… Yay?

 

Kacchan stormed into the apartment, kicking off his shoes and barking orders to switch on the lights, turn on the TV, and show him to the kitchen. It was not difficult to find, really, because Izuku lived in a studio-type apartment with barely any divisions. His living room was also his bedroom. His kitchen was also his dining room. Nevertheless, a very jumpy Izuku complied hurriedly because he was, um, a very obedient person. No, the word was not omega, brain.

 

Please stop supplying words from an AU we barely know anything about. This is not the time, brain. Please.

 

“What in the shit fucking fuck !?” Kacchan yelled from the kitchen as he started rummaging through the cupboards. “What are these stocks?! Preservative trash!? What do you expect me to make from this?! Horseshit!?”

 

He turned to the freezer next as Izuku timidly walked into his kitchen. It didn’t feel like part of his home anymore with Kacchan being all the dominant… person … in there.

 

Hot .

 

Nnnnoooooooooo… STOP THAT.

 

“What in the shit is all this goddamn ice! ? Defrost your freezer, Deku. This isn’t Todoroki. It won’t defrost itself!” Kacchan looked around the small frozen food compartment, clicking his tongue as he tried checking whatever was in there. Frankly, not much. Izuku didn’t like stocking on frozen food because his schedule made it difficult for him to prepare meat. They ended up just going bad. Such a waste of money.

 

“No beef in stock. No pork. No chicken.” Kacchan turned to Izuku in disbelief, one hand on top of the refrigerator, another on his hips. “Your diet has no meat!?”

 

“I buy from—”

 

“Takeout!?”

 

Izuku nodded. To be fair, he still took his diet into consideration and didn’t really buy food from unhealthy establishments. And he also considered nutritional value. But takeout was takeout. Kacchan literally had to pause to mumble a prayer to god for patience and “a drop of wisdom for this stupid broccoli head”.

 

“Oh, congratulations on having a pack of green peas .” Kacchan then waved around a packet covered with frost. “What do these go with in your inventory? What were your plans for these peas? Edible prayer beads!?”

 

To be honest, Izuku was not aware he had green peas. Kacchan tossed it onto the counter with a loud thud. Wow. Rock solid.

 

“No effing fruits. No god damn vege—One carrot. One and a half. Fucking bunny . Do you even have—Halle-fucking-lujah, eggs ! You got one thing right!” And then he frowned. “Why the ever living fuck are the tomatoes next to the eggs?”

 

“K-Kacchan…?”

 

“What!?” The blonde man who was still bent in front of the refrigerator basically spat out the answer very, very sharply, still hostile but no longer as furious . Maybe shouting insults at the kitchen inventory helped him blow off some steam. Cooking was actually one of the things Kacchan did to help keep his temper in check, after all.

 

“I-is there anything I can help you with?”

 

Kacchan straightened and closed the refrigerator with his foot. He was holding eggs in one hand and tomatoes in the other.

 

“Fuck you.”

 

Okay, still pissed. But at least no longer trying to end the world.

 

“Please?” Izuku whined, putting on his best ever sad, apologetic face with puppy dog eyes that had a fifty-fifty percent of not working on Kacchan. The man glared at him before taking a sharp inhale, rolling his eyes away ,and nodding at the frozen packet on the counter.

 

“Todoroki the peas.”

 

Todo- what the peas now?

 

“Todoroki…” Izuku blinked dumbly, looking at Kacchan then at the packet. “...The peas?”

 

“Thaw them ‘coz they’re frozen, smartfuck.” Kacchan put down his chosen ingredients on the counter before proceeding to going back to reopen the cupboards and go over what else he could use.

 

Ah. He isn’t angry anymore .

 

Izuku smiled and headed over his microwave to Todoroki the peas.

 

And that was basically all that Izuku did to help make dinner. The rest was all Kacchan, not that Izuku was useless. The blonde man just really preferred doing some things on his own especially if it was something that he had a certain standard for. Izuku’s job was to give Kacchan all the space he needed. So he sat on the stool from one corner of the kitchen, gawking dumbly while processing that his beautiful crush was in his kitchen cooking another meal for him in the same day. Getting screamed at was worth it. Life was good.

 

Seeing Kacchan work in the kitchen was like watching him dance. This was the first time he was actually cooking in Izuku’s kitchen but he moved in it like it was his own. His actions were still firm and precise—the way he cracked the eggs, walked from here to there, sprinkled salt and pepper—but the air around him was lighter despite all the focus. It was amazing how he could remember and do many things at the same time. Scramble the eggs. Throw pepper in here. Wash the rice. Butter the pan. Dice whatever the thing. Mind the sizzling pan. His knife skills were suave, too. It was almost like he was born to make music using blades with the sounds it made against the chopping board. Nobody would look at this and say that this person had anger issues. Well, unless they heard him talking while moving in which case that was hear , not see.

 

In between all the cooking activities, Kacchan listened to the news from the living room-bedroom and gave random commentary from time-to-time, speaking to no one in particular. He tuned in attentively, not only for the crime reports, but also for the political issues and other recent events. Izuku did not butt in or respond. Kacchan was currently in his own quiet little bubble, diffusing whatever strong emotions he had a while ago.

 

You’ve really come a long way in keeping yourself in check, haven’t you? I’m sorry I upset you.

 

Seeing him like this made Izuku almost felt guilty that he’d been drowning himself in nothing but fanworks as of late.

 

“Okay, done!” Kacchan finally said and started untying the apron to remove it. Something about that was so enticing. Izuku almost whined as he bit his lip. Perhaps it would be wiser to focus on the food that he was bringing to the table instead.

 

Izuku hopped off the stool and went towards the kitchen table. Kacchan had plated what seemed to be two omelettes except it looked like fluffy white and yellow clouds with tomatoes, red pepper, onions, and cheese.

 

Where were the peas?

 

“Oooh.” Izuku blinked as he squatted, holding onto the edge of the table to take a good look at the food that was being served. “What’s it called?”

 

“I don’t know. I just threw that together.” Kacchan bunched up the apron and put it on one corner of the table before shrugging. “Eat it with steamed rice then give it a name if you want. I don’t care.”

 

“Uwaaah!” Izuku smiled widely, eyes shimmering with delight. “Kacchan is so amazing…!”

 

“You always say that.” The beautiful blonde man smirked smugly and leaned with one hand on the table. “I did everything so you better eat all of it, nerd.”

 

“Hey, I Todoroki’d the peas…!” Izuku looked up at Kacchan who only scoffed—”’Course you did.”—before turning to go. “Eh? Where are you going?”

 

“Home.”

 

“Wha—But—” Izuku walked around the table so he could follow him to the door. “A-aren’t you joining me? I mean, I can’t eat all of that alone!” He gestured towards the kitchen so Kacchan could see the gravity of the situation. Kacchan just looked at him quickly and then shrugged before bending over, reaching for his shoes, and saying, “You can heat it up for tomorrow.”

 

“Come on!” Izuku was willing to literally throw a tantrum because he was so looking forward to this. How dare he do all that handsome cookery and then leave ? So when Kacchan just kept on putting his shoes on, Izuku walked closer and started tugging at the end of his shirt.

 

“Kacchan, at least have dinner with me!”

 

“I can’t.” He said casually as he looked at Izuku then at the hand holding his shirt, but didn’t make any move to stop him. “I’m back on duty tomorrow so—”

 

BRRRGM—!

 

Maybe heaven was on Izuku’s side because whatever was left of Kacchan’s sentence was drowned out by the sudden downpour of heavy rain . The lights flickered, went out for a second, and then turned back on again. The TV started with static before coming to life with a beauty soap commercial.

 

“What the fuck!? ” Kacchan looked out the window and started towards it with one shoe on. Izuku followed and saw a thick curtain of water falling from the sky. The large and heavy drops thundered against the surface of the walls and windows, drowning the TV sounds. Out in the street, Izuku could make out the form of people running around but it was kind of difficult to see with all the heavy rain.

 

Kacchan turned to him with a tinge of horror.

 

“Tell me you got an umbrella.”

 

“I have an umbrella.”

 

Kacchan sighed in relief but Izuku was not done talking.

 

“If you think I’m letting you go into that downpour, you are out of your mind.”

 

Kacchan raised an eyebrow at him, darting his head back like Izuku had said a very ridiculous joke.

 

“You think a little rain can stop me?”

 

“How is that a little rain? You can barely see anything.” Izuku raised an eyebrow back at him, gesturing with his hand at the window as if it wasn’t obvious enough that it was raining cats and dogs and Nomus outside. The distant blurry lights blinked as if to agree.

 

“Yeah, well…”  Kacchan made a small sound before looking out the window and sighing in defeat. “...No shit.”

 

No shit , indeed. While Kacchan was smart on his own, sometimes he really needed a knock in the head when all that alpha male cells kick in. It impeded his proper thinking. On the bright side, Izuku was going to have dinner with this (his?) man because Mother Nature said so!

 

Thank you, Mother Nature. I am in your care.

 

“You should wait for the rain to stop or tone down.” Izuku stepped back, more than just a little too happy. He found it difficult to hold back a smile. “In the meantime, tonight’s weather report has some very heavy rain and you having dinner with me.”

 

Kacchan rolled his eyes away but agreed anyway—”Fine. Might as well.”—much to Izuku’s delight.

 

So they had dinner in front of the TV as Kacchan made more commentary on the news. Izuku was happy to engage him, as it’s been a while since they’ve had any serious discussion about politics and current events. Kacchan felt strongly about the rehabilitation program, as it could open a lot of new opportunities not only for the Villains, but also for the Heroes.

 

“See, knowing they can change and aren’t inherently evil makes the enemy seem more human to us. Because they are humans, not monsters. At least most of them are.” Kacchan said, taking two gulps of water without removing his eyes from the screen. “Plus it gives the younger Villains a chance to start anew. Some of them just end up being a Villain through and through because there aren’t any other alternatives left for them. We’ve apprehended fifteen year olds , for fuck’s sake. How could they not deserve at least a chance at another shot in life?“

 

Izuku chewed on his omelette before talking.

 

“Issues of possible discrimination aside, I think some people are worried about how it can be abused and used against the Alliance.” He drank some water. “Which I understand, but that’s why it’s being ironed out. The veterans aren’t stupid. Let them plan it out first and then hear the proposal. Nothing’s set in stone yet.”

 

“True as fuck .” Kacchan nodded, stuffing more food into his mouth. “Good luck shaking Aizawa-sensei’s resolve. I actually think they’re lucky he’s just part of the team pushing for rehab and not really at the helm of it all.”

 

“He’s busy with UA.”


“Forever UA.” Kacchan lifted his glass and Izuku laughed, indulging in a toast.

 

“Plus Ultra?”

 

“Plus fucking Ultra.”

 

With a nod to each other, they drank bottoms up, laughing slightly as they brought their glasses down. Here they were, two childhood friends just having water and a home-cooked meal. This was nice. Izuku almost wished the rain wouldn’t stop.

 

And that was exactly what happened.

 

If someone told Izuku that the goddess of love and fortune was smiling on him right now, he’d buy it. As if granting his quiet half-meant (maybe?) wishing, the rain wouldn’t let up . After dinner, Izuku washed the dishes as Kacchan watched more news. A few minutes became an hour. An hour became two hours. Still, the rain was relentless.

 

“Does the sky have a Quirk?” Kacchan said with his hands in his pockets as he watched the drops on the window. ”I mean, what is this rain?”

 

Izuku didn’t say anything from the kitchen as he put the dishes in order and finished cleaning the counter. The rain wasn’t stopping. He knew he wished for that but he really didn’t expect it to happen . Izuku wasn’t an idiot. If Kacchan didn’t go home, that meant he’d have to stay here . Overnight. With Izuku. In the darkness. Just the two of them. With no one to see .

 

Oh, the things that could— nooooooooo .

 

Half of his mind was trying not to think of it. The rest of his body was all for preparing .

 

Nooooooooo. Stop being a perveeeeert.

 

“And it’s getting late, too.” Kacchan was grumbling just as Izuku walked out of the kitchen and into his bedroom-living room. “God damn it.”

 

Okay. Keep calm. Act cool. Be chill. Everything’s going to be fine.

 

“Deku.” Kacchan said as he turned to Izuku who was about to check on his charging phone.

 

“What?” Izuku pulled his charger out of the socket and disconnected his phone. From the corner of his eye, he could see the other man in the room beginning to approach. Izuku wasn’t sure if he wanted to run to him or away from him.

“Gimme your umbrella.”

 

“No.”

 

Izuku started towards the other end of the room, coiling the charger to keep it in one of the drawers. Kacchan stalked after him.

 

“Raincoat, then. You got a raincoat?”

 

“No raincoat.” Opened the drawer. Put the charger in the drawer. Closed the drawer. Headed for the bed to sit. Kacchan trailed after him.


“Dude, I am willing to wear god damn armor —”

 

Izuku stopped walking and turned towards the blonde.

 

No, Kacchan. You are not going out in that rain.”

 

Kacchan pursed his lips like he was trying to keep a stream of words from bursting out. And then he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead to calm himself down. That was fine. Izuku could wait. He had all night.

 

“Urgh. Fine.” Kacchan finally said as he started towards the door. “Don’t wanna help? Fine . But I’m running out there no matter wha—”

 

Hey! ” Izuku raised his voice, startling Kacchan enough for him to stop and turn around, which was the actual goal. The freckled man then put one hand on his waist as he waved a finger at his very stubborn childhood friend to establish just who was making sense here. “You’ve done nothing but lecture and berate me about my health, my diet, my well-being, and my lack of concern for my physical fitness but now you’re going to charge into this heavy rainfall to risk actually getting sick ?!”

 

Kacchan frowned. Izuku kept talking.

 

“If you go out that door and into the damn rain, forget about having to tell me how to take care of my health ever again!


A bold statement and a gamble of sorts. Izuku looked firm but deep inside, he was praying so damn hard that Kacchan would not say anything the lines of “okay”. As aggressive and loud Kacchan was, Izuku liked the attention. He really wasn’t ready to say goodbye to it just yet. So he steeled himself as he watched Kacchan’s eye twitch. The man crossed his arms over his chest and then raised his head. Strange how that just one gesture immediately made pressure swarm the room.


And then he threw the question.

 

“You’ve got a better idea, smartass?”

 

Yes . Said Izuku’s entire body. His inner self was screaming in panic. Okay, this was it. This was the time.

 

A better idea? Why, yes, of course . Izuku had been thinking about it but he hadn’t properly decided on how to bring it up exactly. Now that Kacchan was asking, all he had to do was answer.

 

All according to plan.

 

“I…”

 

If Izuku could find the words.

 

“I… Um…”

 

Oh, come on! Now was so not the time for him to have doubts and confidence issues! He didn’t know when he was going to have Kacchan in his house again let alone having him overnight. This was a good chance! A great chance! Izuku should not let it slip by his fingers.

 

Kacchan raised an eyebrow.

 

“Well?”

 

“I… You…” Izuku took a deep breath and bit his lip.

 

If he didn’t say anything, Kacchan was going to go out that door and walk into the heavy downpour. The rain will drench him and his clothes will stick to his body and, damn, wouldn’t that be—NO. It was sickness Izuku should be concerned about. He could think about trying to get Kacchan out of his pants later.

 

Mother Nature was basically playing wingman for him and cheering “Go get ‘im!” Izuku should know better than to fuck this up.

 

“Y-you… You can stay over.” Izuku finally said, which should’ve been the end of the sentence but out of instinct or stupidity, he ended up adding. “...If you want.”

 

Izuku slapped his forehead internally. Why did he have to add thaaaat? If an earthquake happened right now, that meant Mother Nature was upset at him.

“I need to report to HQ at seven in the morning.” Quick answer. It was almost like Kacchan was expecting Izuku to say that. Not that Izuku was unprepared for it.

 

“Pretty sure we all have spare gear at HQ.”

 

Kacchan opened his mouth to say something to counter that but hell if Izuku was going to let anything else out of that mouth before he got his own point across.

 

“Look, Kacchan, if you really have to come from your place before you head to HQ then waking up earlier than what you’re used to is much better than getting drenched and risk getting sick. Besides...”

 

Izuku looked pursed his lips and looked at the door knob for some semblance of courage to keep talking. He imagined the door knob cheering for him so Izuku lifted his eyes back at Kacchan to continue.

 

“...We haven’t even talked about my day yet.”

 

Actually, the words were supposed to be my patrol instead of my day but that worked, too. Izuku was too nervous to care.

 

Kacchan stood there judgingly. He hadn’t budged from his dominant stature as he stared Izuku down. He made a small noise, which Izuku translated as him currently sorting out his options. It took him a while before he tilted his head, studying the smaller green-haired man in front of him.

 

“Hmm…”

 

Hmmm?? What did that mean??

 

“Hmmm…”

 

Eeerrrhhhggghh, what was taking him so long? Was he waiting for Izuku to die of anticipation? Was he waiting for him to say please ? Was he waiting for it to be morning ?

 

Or did he see through Izuku’s plan?

 

“Hmmmmmm…”

 

What on eaaaaaaarth…?

 

“S-so…” Izuku whispered as humbly as he could because Kacchan was still churning his gears like this was some life-changing decision. “...What’ll it be?”

 

The blonde man scoffed. 

 

Thunder roared. Lightning flashed.

 

The lights flickered but didn’t go out.

 

“I don’t know, nerd.” And then he did that toothy half-smile that made Izuku’s knees go weak. “D’you got clothes I can sleep in?”

Chapter Text

You’re a grown ass man, Kacchan! Izuku wanted to say. Have you no shame!?

 

Except he was really okay with his crush not having any shame whatsoever right now.

 

“I cannot fucking believe —” Kacchan pulled off the shirt he was trying on and threw it on the floor. “—You have the goddamn guts to tell me to sleep over—” He scratched his head heavily, cracking his neck irritably. “—When none of your shit fits me!”

 

All Izuku could do was make a noise so strange, it couldn’t even be called a croak. Kacchan was standing in the middle of the room, stripped down to his dark red boxers, with Izuku’s clothes strewn all around him on the floor. It was almost like Izuku had summoned the hottest man on the planet by forming a magical circle of clothes and his virginity as offering. A couple of Demon AU fics came back to him inappropriately.

 

After they had agreed on the sleepover, Kacchan insisted to get a change of clothes. Izuku was cool with that until Kacchan just started stripping right in the living room, in plain view. Holy shit! Izuku ran to the window to close the curtains because like hell he was sharing with anyone.

 

Finding clothes for Kacchan seemed to be easier said than done. He had been trying on one piece of clothing after the other without any luck of finding one that suited his tastes so far. Whatever was loose enough had sleeves too long and whatever had no sleeves was too tight. He couldn’t find any bottoms that suited him either. The only thing that fit him were Izuku’s sweatpants, which were still kind of tight in the legs and like hell he was going to bed with his “limbs feeling like a burrito”. Not that Izuku could blame him. His body temperature sometimes went so high.

 

So here he was, down to his last piece of clothing. Izuku finally had a better look at that ass that he was used to being hidden by baggy pants and oh gooood , was it mighty fine.

 

It had been at least fifteen minutes since Kacchan had started his strip tease fashion show of sexy fury. The entire time, Izuku was just sitting on his bed, bunching up Kacchan’s clothes in his arms and sniffing them discreetly, which wasn’t really helping to keep him sane but Kacchan’s scent . He wasn’t aware he was doing it at first until he realized it was starting to become difficult to breathe with his nose in Kacchan’s dark shirt.

 

Outside, it was still raining hard, but Izuku felt so hot because Kacchan and his lack of clothing made everything sizzle. Including Izuku’s blood. Now if only Kacchan would stay still and remain oblivious as Izuku touched himself, that would be great.

 

Aaaaah, but this wasn’t the plan. The plan was to make him wear any of Izuku’s shirts so he could experience that boyfriend shirt thing even if Kacchan wasn’t his boyfriend. He thought one of his clothes would fit since they both worked out, but no . Kacchan was just rejecting every piece of clothing he tried on. Somehow, something was always wrong with it and Izuku could not even dispute. This was backfiring so hard but so good. Izuku wasn’t sure anymore.

 

“Oi.” Kacchan said, slightly veering his head to look at Izuku who only managed to squeak a quick “Y-yes?” as a reply. The scantily clad man with no shame slowly turned and, much to Izuku’s confusing dread and delight, started walking towards him.

 

“K-Kachchan…?”

 

“That thing you’re wearing…” Kacchan said lowly, resting one knee on the edge of the bed. “...that seems loose enough.”

 

“Eh!?”

 

Izuku blinked. What he was wearing? But he was still wearing… it… Unless… He couldn’t mean...!

 

Eeeeeeeh!?

 

It happened too quickly. He wasn’t sure where or how Kacchan grabbed him but with one quick movement, Izuku’s back hit the mattress. He tried to regain his orientation, which was difficult considering his brain was fizzling with all the naughty thoughts it preferred to dwell on right now. Like his wrists getting pinned and Kacchan mashing their mouths together to engage in some very heated tongue-kissing because he was so frustrated about his clothes or lack thereof and… this was not making sense!

 

“Kacchan!”

 

The bed dipped. The clothes Izuku was holding fell from his fingers. His vision spun. Something was on his belly.

 

“H-hey, wai—!”

 

Kacchan’s fingers grabbed the hem of his shirt—”Ah, K-K-Kacchan!”—and off it went. Not the sexiest way to get naked, but okay. Izuku’s arms flew up as it slid out of the sleeves before his hands fell on either side of his head with a soft thump on the pillow. And then the next thing Izuku realized was his vision trying to focus on the ceiling beyond Kacchan’s wild hair because…

 

“A-ah…!”

 

...Because Kacchan had mounted him . That something on his belly was Kacchan .

 

ASHDAJKDHAKLDHSAKLHSALDAHAKUNAMATATA

 

Kacchan’s thick and meaty thighs were on either side of Izuku’s body, his arms raised as he tried to pull the shirt over his own head. Izuku’s mind went in circles and right angles as he drank in the sight of Kacchan’s upper body towering over him like that. His eyes trailed down from his neck to his collar bone, lingering onto his pecs, his nipples—Izuku’s tongue felt so idle right now—down to the defined lines of his abs that seemed to purposefully lead towards the only part of his body that was covered. The outline of his dick made him question underwear had to exist .

 

Izuku’s heart was on a mission to pump all the blood way down south because the view right now was better than whatever photo he had stashed.

 

Good god , Kacchan. How does your dick even breathe?

 

Izuku couldn’t tell if Kacchan was half-hard or just… big. Or maybe he was hallucinating or this was all a dream? Perhaps all those fanfiction writers were right about the existence of massive dicks all along?

 

The shirt fell over Kacchan’s body like a curtain telling Izuku that the show was over. Only then was he able to start breathing again. The now topless mess known as Midoriya Izuku was lying on the bed, gawking at the man on top of him.... wearing his shirt.

 

Now, sure, he’d seen Kacchan wear a number of his shirts earlier but staring at him while being mounted was just on the border of M rating and E rating. Izuku was so overwhelmed, he wanted to call the cops.

 

The shirt seemed to be an okay fit, but Kacchan wasn’t thoroughly convinced. He tried moving his arms and twisting his body like it was the textbook way of testing the shirt and Izuku’s tenacity not to dissolve into a puddle of horny green goo.

 

Was this it? Was this the boyfriend shirt? Finally?

“Nah.” Kacchan said with a click of his tongue as if hearing Izuku’s thoughts. “It’s too tight around the shoulders.”

Oh, for crying out loud!

 

Izuku’s mouth flung open either to say something or make way for his soul trying to leave his body because there was little chance of him surviving watching Kacchan undress from this position.

 

“K-Ka—!”

 

Just one syllable was all he could force himself to gasp as Kacchan grabbed the hem of the shirt and started pulling it off his head. Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. This… This… What was the reverse of wearing a shirt called? Un-wearing? Whatever. Who cared when the view was hot with Izuku hearing imaginari saxophone music in the background! The accumulated knowledge Izuku had gained from experience and education as a functioning human being did not prepare him for Katsuki Bakugou’s unveiling while sitting on top of him like there was some kind of show .

 

“Goddammit!” Kacchan cursed, his head getting stuck in the shirt, causing him to move and wiggle and somewhat grind above Izuku and no, no, no, no , don’t move like that !

 

“Nnngh!” Izuku bit the back of his hand. “K-Kacchan…!”

 

“Maybe wait , you fucking moron!” The blonde man was angry about one thing and Izuku’s dick would like to talk about that. “I can’t seem to—Nggh!”

 

And stop making those soouuuuunnds!

 

Izuku was going to die . He was going to grow hard and then cum and then die . This was too much! He tried to desperately recall all the naked ponies trying to fuck on top of a see-saw while flipping burgers and juggling skulls but it seemed nothing on any dimension could probably stop his dick from growing harder .

 

Dicks were powerful .

 

“K-Ka—ah—!”

 

He tried his darnest not to pant or moan or gasp. Izuku was literally considered moo-ing if necessary. He’d rather be labeled an idiot than a perverted idiot any day.

 

God, this was embarrassing!

 

Kacchan finally pulled the shirt off his head when lightning flashed.

 

“Mhh—Aah!!” Izuku wasn’t able to stop making those sounds at all. He wanted to grab Kacchan by the waist and jerk his hips upward while moaning loudly because why, heaven, why!?

 

Thunder boomed soon after, drowning whatever noise Izuku had made. The lights flickered again, giving enough excuse for him to be “startled” so he could sit up and push Kacchan off of him. The blonde man screamed a chain of unrefined curses as he fell off the bed entirely with a pretty loud and painful thud.

 

The lights died for half a second before it turned back on.

 

Kacchan was sitting with legs apart on the clothes-infested floor. Izuku considered that maybe heaven was trying to help him while the devil was trying to kill him at the same time.

 

“Fuck it!” Kacchan threw the shirt right at Izuku’s face. ”I give up! Nothing works!”

 

“Wh-What do you mean?” Izuku very slowly tried to put his shirt back on.

 

“I mean I’m not wearing any of your shit!” The blonde sin of lust crossed his legs and his arms. “And I’m not wearing my day clothes to sleep. Fuck that.”

 

“Th-then…” Izuku’s head popped out the hole of his shirt. “What are you going to do?”

 

“What else, numbskull?” Kacchan growled as he looked at the clothes around him before shrugging. “I’m stuck with this…!”

 

This? What was this !?

 

Midoriya Izuku. Nervous system. Loading information in three, two—”What the hell, Kacchan!? Y-you’re sleeping like that ?!”

 

“Is naked better!?”

 

Yes!

 

“N-no…!”

 

“Then shut up !” Kacchan stood up slowly. “This sleepover thing was your idea and I’m the one suffering for it. Fucking hell.”

 

Kacchan bent to pick up the clothes and Izuku’s inner self was already foaming in the mouth with just the view of his ass like that. He was so torn between ZeKu and DeRo right now because what would that ass feel like .

 

“D-don’t bother…!” Izuku found the strength to get out of bed, realizing that fuck, he was  kinda hard. Might look obvious. “I-I’ll pick them up! Let me do it!”

 

Kacchan backed away as Izuku started gathering his clothes. Now wouldn’t this have been more enjoyable if he was picking up his clothes that Kacchan had torn off his body from a torrid night of lovemaking that blew his mind, shook the ground, changed the weather, and brought about world peace?

 

“Let me borrow a towel.” Kacchan interrupted Izuku’s thoughts. Images of Kacchan came unbidden to Izuku’s mind—him wearing only a towel and nothing underneath while sitting all sweaty in a steamy room, going “Come sit on me, nerd.”

 

Izuku coughed .

 

“Hey.” Kacchan nudged him by the waist with his big toe. That little contact was enough to send Izuku recoiling to the far end of the room and screaming, “ WHY!?

 

“What do you mean why!?” Kacchan frowned at him. “I’m going to shower, obviously!”

 

Oh. Okay.  Showering made sense. The change of images in Izuku’s head did not. He wasn’t sure why he was imagining Kacchan dripping wet with just a towel around his waist. The thick wet cloth was sticking to his skin and guuugghhh—Izuku was internally gargling his own sanity—He was never going to get over the outline of Kacchan’s dick. Ever.

 

“Yo, Deku!” Kacchan, dug the ball of his toe on Izuku’s thigh to wake him up. “Did you hear me!?”

 

“Eek!” Izuku got up and hurriedly ran to his drawers to find a towel. “R-Right! I’ma get your towel. I also have a spare toothbrush if you want. A-and I’m going to roll out the futon while you’re in there doing your body laundry.”

 

Kacchan’s mouth flung open as he raised his eyebrow.

 

“My what ?”

 

Izuku looked back at him, pulling out a white towel from the drawer.

 

“What?”

 

Kacchan made a small sound. Izuku decided to look for the toothbrush instead.

 

“Doing my what ?”

 

“Your… what…?” Izuku blinked dumbly and tilted his head as he handed the towel and toothbrush. “What did I say?”

 

“You said—” Kacchan rolled his eyes away and waved him off, taking the towel. “Never mind…! You’re so weird!”

 

And you’re so hot but do you hear me complaining about it?

 

As soon as the man known as his crush had disappeared behind the bathroom door, Izuku immediately bundled all his scattered clothes and threw it all on a chair so he could roll on the floor, kicking around like a pinwheel having a seizure as he opened his mouth to scream in all silence. How was anyone expecting him to cope after all that? He was lucky to still be wearing clothes after that. The urge to just beg for Kacchan to fuck him senseless was too high .  He was this close to actually asking Kacchan to please accept his gift of virginity for all the trouble his naughty little Deku had caused.

 

But, wait. Wait. The futon. He had to unroll the futon or Kacchan was going to kill him , not that he was entirely alive anymore .

 

The only reason Izuku had a futon ready was for when his mother wanted to sleep over. That happened only once when she wanted to see his apartment. Izuku slept on the futon and his mother on his bed. That was the first and last time she slept over. Izuku was more keen on him coming home. Besides, his mother wasn’t getting any younger. He’d rather she rested instead of getting tired from going on useless trips to see him when he could come home to see her.

 

After futon had been rolled out and the pillows prepared, Izuku took the liberty of lying down on it. Maybe if he scented this enough, Kacchan would come to like him as more than a friend?

 

“Noooooooooooooooo!” Izuku rolled around the futon, covering his face. “What am I thinking? Stop it! Stop!”


The sounds of water spraying from inside the bathroom weren’t helpful either. Izuku was trying so hard not to imagine water trickling down Kacchan’s skin but he was only a man . A horny man with needs and, ah, he was getting harder!

 

Stupid dick! What was he to do!? Was it obvious!? Izuku wanted to run to the mirror and stand sideways to check but the idea was so fucking silly, he literally slapped his cheeks to help him come to his senses.

 

Could he masturbate really quick? Yes? No? Well, if the answer wasn’t a quick “yes” then it was obviously a “no”. Then… Ponies! Think of the ponies! Think of the ponies and… And… And… Oh, god, it wasn’t working. All he could remember was the outline of Kacchan’s dick, god dammit! He needed help! Okay. Calm down. What he needed to do was divert his attention. Right. Do something. Something. Somethiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing—Call someone!

 

Izuku ran to his phone to do just that. He opened his contacts and tapped on a random entry. On the other line, the phone rang once, twice—CLICK!—“Hello?” Izuku croaked.

 

“Midoriya?” Said the rather tired voice of a man obviously older than him.

 

Huh? Who was this? Which contact did he end up calling randomly? Izuku looked at his phone.

 

SHOUTA AIZAWA.

 

Ho-ly shit.

 

Just one deathwish after another. But, yeah, this will do. Just learning that he actually called Eraserhead was enough for Izuku’s raging hormones to behave, keep right, and travel in single file.

 

“Yeah, um, hi, Aizawa-sensei!” Izuku paced around the room nervously. “Wh-what’s up?”

 

I’m up.” Aizawa grumbled at him. “Why are you calling so suddenly?”

 

“I, uh, I…” Izuku was blinking fast as he hurriedly walked over the futon so he could sit on his bed. “I wanted to Kaccha—catch up with you.”

 

“At almost nine in the evening ?”

 

It wasn’t a question. Aizawa-sensei was practically saying “there better be a good reason for this, you brat”.

 

“Y-yeah, well, ahaha…!” Izuku smiled wanly, scratched his head, and shrugged. You know how it is.”

 

Aizawa-sensei made a low, unhappy noise worth of “ I will kill you , boy .”

 

“Well, enough about me!” Izuku waved his hand like someone was going to see his gestures. “How are you?”


The older man at the other end of the line permitted himself one second of silence before taking a deep breath and speaking as monotonous as he could.

 

“Midoriya, if you have to call me, do it when the sun is up and when you can hold a proper conversation. Call me again tonight for no good reason and I will hunt you down myself to erase you . Go to bed.”

 

CLICK.

 

Phew. Yeah. Okay. That worked. He wasn’t so horny anymo—”Okay, I’m done.”—until Kacchan came out of the bathroom with a towel on his head and nothing but those sinful dark red boxers. Izuku’s dick was resurrected.

 

“Who were you talking to? Were you on the phone?” Kacchan put the towel around his shoulders and shook his head to make tiny water droplets fly from his hair. He looked so much fresher out of the shower. Izuku could smell his soap and shampoo mixed with a sweet tinge of nitroglycerin and Kacchan’s on scent. This was torture .

 

“Yeah.” Izuku watched Kacchan walk around the house looking for something. “Just a quick chat with Aizawa-sensei.”

 

Aizawa-sensei ?” The blonde stopped to look at him, lifting one end of the towel on his shoulders to dry his hair with one hand. “At this hour ?”

 

It was at this point that Izuku realized that Kacchan was probably looking for a hair brush.

 

“Yeah.” The man on the bed pointed towards the top of a shelf. “Really quick call.”

 

Kacchan blinked at Izuku and looked at the general direction of his gestures before he understood.

 

“What did he want?” Kacchan asked as he poked his head around looking for the hair brush, clicking his tongue in impatience as he finally used a hand to look around the boxes and pen holders on the same shelf. “Was it urgent?”


“No, I don’t think so. He…” Izuku was too distracted by Kacchan’s ass that he had to blink to reset himself only to realize that now he was staring at his thighs. God damn it, he was going to end up having squiggly eyes if this continued. So he blinked again and shook his head to pick up the sentence he left hanging. “...He said he was just going to call again. Something came up.”

 

I’m sorry, Aizawa-sensei .

 

When Kacchan prodded no more about the call, Izuku took that as a chance to go shower himself. He grabbed random clothes from the pile on the chair and trotted towards his drawer to get underwear, a bit shy at the thought that Kacchan would see it. But, of course, he was more concerned about concealing his god damn erection . Why did men need to have such obvious signs when aroused? Like, what, were dicks some form of flag or antenna that’s supposed to signal to mates that it’s ready to have intercouse with anything that has a hole? It’s embarrassing!

 

“Do you need the towel?” Kacchan offered before he left and Izuku almost said “yes” because Kacchan’s scent. Izuku smiled, shook his head, and grabbed his own towel. Was it creepy or cute that he wanted to wipe his entire body with the same towel that Kacchan used!? Maybe he needed counseling.

 

Now the first thing he planned to do as soon as he closed the bathroom door behind him was to free his dick . Unfortunately, his brain just decided to run like a hamster on a wheel as soon as he realized that the room was still warm and it smelled like Kacchan. Izuku had never wanted to hug the air so bad. Kacchan’s scent was so strong in this room, Izuku could practically stay here for hours, sobbing in happiness as he touched himself.

 

“Kacchan…” Izuku mumbled as he removed his clothes, feeling the heat against his bare skin. This warmth. Kacchan’s body heat was still in this room and that was just… So…

 

“Kacchan…” Izuku rubbed his arms, his breath slowly starting to get labored as he felt the thick atmosphere around him. The fact that his barenaked body was being engulfed with the scent and heat of Katsuki Bakugou made him so needy and hard that it hurt. Izuku stepped into the shower and immediately doused himself a the spray of water. The drops hit him angrily, splattering against his very sensitive skin that even just that made him want to moan.

 

“Kacchan…” He said again, sighing in relief as his fingers started wrapping around his hard and aching dick. The first few strokes was heaven but soon started to not be enough. His wrist started moving faster, fingers tightening a bit.

 

“Mmhh… Ka—Kah—” Izuku gasped, slowly not caring if he was too loud. He wished life was like fanfiction right now. In those stories, Izuku would’ve forgotten to lock the door and Kacchan would just come inside to help him. They’d be naked kissing torridly under the shower, arms around each other, fingers in his hair, nails scraping against skin, as they whispered soft nothings and naughty things. There was no in between.

 

“Kacchan...” His back hit the could tiles and part of his body had left the spray of water. Izuku couldn’t care. The room was still warm. His body heat was dancing with Kacchan’s in the air. He was here awhile ago. In this same chamber, naked, wet, and dripping.

 

“I want…” Izuku squirmed, pumping erratically, hips pushing into his hand. “I want…”

 

He wanted to be fucked. Right now. He wanted to bend over and be taken from behind until his cheek was pressed on the tiles. He wanted to be pushed up the wall and fucked senseless as he clamped his legs around Kacchan. He wanted to be taken every which way as he screamed Katsuki over and over again

 

“Katsuki…” He gasped without thinking, the fingers of his free hand moving up and down his body.

 

“Katsuki...”

 

Izuku started playing with his own nipple. God .

 

“Katsuki…”

 

It sounded foreign but he couldn’t stop. The name came with phantom hands touching him all over. It came with a body that fit perfectly with his because they were made for each other, weren’t they? He wanted Kacchan to take him because he belonged to Kacchan, right? Ah, he could imagine Kacchan— Katsuki— Katsuki licking his ear and twisting his nipples—”Ah! Ah!”—as he thrust into him relentlessly from behind.

 

“I want more…”

 

The sensations he imagined came in as waved. His nipples were being licked. His dick was being touched. He was riding Katsuki. Katsuki was riding him. His dick in Katsuki’s mouth. Katsuki’s dick in his mouth and just Katsuki. Katsuki. KATSUKI.

 

“More!”

 

Oh, wouldn’t that be amazing?

 

“Please, more…!”

 

What would it feel like?

 

“Katsuki…”

 

It was frustrating!

 

“Katuski…!”

 

“Come for me, Izuku.”

 

A foreign name. A name Katsuki had never called him by. But that was what sent Izuku over the edge.

 

“Ka-ahhngghhsss—” He came hard, getting shot by strange sensations in one go. Awkwardness was one of them but he didn’t really mind. It didn’t matter when he could imagine Katsuki shuddering behind him, spilling all of his seed into his tight hole and he was just… God, what would it feel like?

 

Izuku bit his lip so hard because he was sure he was going to scream and Kacchan didn’t really need to hear that.

 

The room was still warm but it was starting to smell less like Kacchan. The spray of water seemed to be louder now and the way it hit his body was less sensual.

 

Wow, that felt good.

 

“Oi, Deku!” Kacchan screamed from outside the bathroom door. “Lemme use your laptop!”

 

WHAT THE FUCK!?

Chapter Text

“Oi, Deku!” Kacchan screamed from outside the bathroom door. “Lemme use your laptop!”

 

Well, that was not something Izuku would like to hear right after an orgasm because NO .

 

“Wh-what!? N-no!” Izuku yelled and immediately pushed himself off the wall clumsily, losing coordination, and almost slipping to break his nose on the tiles. But, hey, maybe he should be thankful that Kacchan didn’t say that while Izuku was touching himself or he might have ended up doing something insane like drill a hole through the wall with his dick. That would be quite the thing to discuss with his landlady.

 

“I just need to check something!” Kacchan reasoned. Izuku immediately regretted not showering quickly.

 

“Do it on the phone!”

 

“Why would I use your phone?!”

 

What the hell!?

“No! I meant your phone!” Izuku almost ran out of the shower if he wasn’t fully aware of his sudden lack of strength. “Don’t you dare touch my phone, Kacchan!”

 

Izuku started washing his hair, unsure if he was using body soap and not even caring anymore. His entire ZeKu collection was on both of those devices. And that included the photos Kacchan sent. While he was sure he had taken measures to safeguard them, there was no guarantee that Katsuki Bakugou, the man of many talents and I-always-win, could not find a way to somehow swear at it enough to crack it open. The mere fact that the images were there and alone with Kacchan was now scary enough. Why did he have to save it all? Why!?

 

Wait, why was it suddenly quiet outside?

 

“Kacchan?”

 

No response. The silence was bothering him.

 

“Kacchaaaan!?”

 

“What!? I’m not doing anything!” Kacchan yelled back at him, voice a bit more distant but still loud. “Like I’d want to use your lousy phone! Fuck you, nerd!”

 

Izuku had probably never showered and brushed his teeth so fast in his life. Sure, hygiene was important but so was self-preservation! This was probably what Villains felt like when they had secret plots. Holy hell.

 

It felt a bit awkward seeing Kacchan after showering. The name Katsuki lingered in Izuku’s head, making it difficult to look at the other man in the room. Kacchan probably wondered what was up, too, as his stares were difficult to miss or ignore. But Izuku pretended to ignore it as he dried and brushed his hair. For a moment, Izuku wondered if he heard him calling out his name in the shower, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Apparently, he was just a bit grumpy about using the laptop because he wanted to check mail and his Facenook account. His phone was running out of battery and he wanted to conserve it for until tomorrow.

 

Oh, that’s right. Kacchan had promised his mother to send longer Facenook messages at least once a week just so she knew that he was aware he still had parents. Not that Kacchan didn’t care about them. He did. He just wasn’t all that showy with them. Sometimes, when shifts were toxic and Kacchan would forget to send messages, Kacchan’s mother would get updates from Izuku’s mother so Izuku made sure to tell her whatever he knew about Kacchan, not that they made it a point to meet up as Heroes. Actually, they’ve been spending more time together these past few days, haven’t they?

 

Fine, then. If it’s for messaging his family, why wouldn’t Izuku let him?

 

Kacchan was already trying to take over the computer chair when the laptop booted. Oh, no, no, no, no, no . Izuku was insistent on making sure all was well and good before he left the chair. The blonde man wasn’t too happy about how Izuku had to clear his browser history, his recycle bin, and his registry three times. He’d swatted Kacchan’s hands every time he tried to grab the mouse or type on the keyboard, much to the other man’s ire.

 

“What are you so defensive about?” Kacchan—still down in his Nnngh™ barely-an-outfit—asked him, one hand on the back of the chair and another leaning on the desk. Izuku felt trapped. Why couldn’t this man cared more about what he looked like right now?

 

“I-I’m not defensive!” Izuku said, clearing his browser a fourth time because why not? “Wh-what are you talking about?”

 

“Well, you’re just—” Kacchan made a face and then shrugged. Whatever. Izuku didn’t expect him to understand that—“Holy fuck , Deku, what the hell is that on—!”

 

WHAT!? WHAT!?

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! DON’T LOOK!”

 

What did Kacchan see? Or did he see anything at all? It didn’t really matter to a person too guilty and panicked to check. So Izuku swung his left arm without thinking, accidentally activating his Quirk as he did. He missed Kacchan by a good deal but the air pressure sent the man flying backwards. It was mostly thanks to Kacchan’s insane reflexes that he managed to skid to a stop, his feet screeching against the floor as he twisted. Fuck. Wait, he was going to slam into the shelf and— no . Kacchan swung his leg and spun in mid-air, turning all the impact into motion. His legs turned in a circle like propellers to keep him spinning in place, hitting nothing but air.

 

He landed with a solid thud of his feet against the floor.

 

No accident. No crash.

 

Izuku’s mouth was left hanging open because he was too busy internally fanboying.

 

Bakugou. Fricken. Katsuki.

 

That insane presence of mind! That high level of skill! That magnificent control! Why would Izuku not want to be fucked by this glorious, talented, beautiful man?

 

Well, that’s because Izuku was dead . He knew this as soon as Kacchan took a deep breath and lifted his head so, so slightly, glaring at Izuku from under his bangs. Izuku quickly looked at the screen of his laptop for good measure.

 

Nothing strange was there.

 

It was like the screen was telling him, “You’re on your own, son.”

 

“You fucking hit me !?” Kacchan hollered, marching with angry stomps to wards Izuku who wanted to sink into the chair.

 

“I-I…!”

 

It was like Kacchan grew bigger as he drew closer. With one movement of his leg, he spun the chair that Izuku was sitting on so that it was facing him. Oh, dear god , Kacchan was glowering and gnashing his teeth for good measure but all Izuku could think of right now was “You are so hot and handsome, my god, just punish me .”

 

“That’s All Might’s Quirk , you bitch!”

 

“I… I’m sorry!” Izuku held up his hands as an attempt to hopefully shield himself from Kacchan’s wrath. “I just… You were being…!”

 

“I was just kidding awhile ago!” Kacchan yelled like thunder and all Izuku could do was cower (while still being turned on, god, why ) as little explosions started popping from Kacchan’s palm.

 

“What would you have done if you did that to someone who wasn’t me !?” It was like the entire room shook with his voice. “Is the secret to the core of the universe in that laptop for you to—”

 

Sudden stop. Sudden silence. The pressure around him disappeared.

 

What? Izuku slowly opened his eyes. What was happening?

 

He looked up. Kacchan was still towering over him, yes. His eyes were still boring a hole through his soul but the anger wasn’t there anymore. It was just default scowling face Kacchan. And his face says that he seemed to have… figured out... something?

 

Oh.

 

Oh, no.

 

Oh, god, no.

 

“You…” Kacchan spoke lowly, seriously, unblinkingly . And when a wide, toothy smile spread across his face, that’s when Izuku knew he was truly fucked. And not in a good way.

 

“You’ve got porn in there, haven’t you, Deku?!”

 

HOW DID HE EVEN GET THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!

 

Blood rushed up Izuku’s face as his internal self screamed, put itself in a rocket, and blasted itself far, far away.

 

“Wh-what!?”

 

That was all Izuku could say. Bad defense!

 

There was a flash of “a-ha!” across Kacchan’s red eyes when he lifted his head, cackling at Izuku who was blinking dumbly on the chair. The blonde then leaned forward, hands landing heavily on either arm rest, enough to make the entire chair shake and “Eek!” went Izuku.

 

“I’m right , aren’t I, Deeeekuuuu ...?”

 

“Sh-shut u—waaaah!”

 

Kacchan just unceremoniously spun Izuku’s chair as he laughed.

 

Daaaaamn , you’re not even denying it!” And then he stopped the chair by slamming his foot against it, a thud landing between Izuku’s knees. Izuku whimpered at the slight dizziness, holding onto Kacchan’s forearms to help steady himself. That didn’t help his mind scampering for excuses or ideas to throw back. All this movement was distracting and it was obvious that Kacchan wasn’t giving him time to think . He liked being right , after all.

 

Kacchan leaned forward closely. Too close. Too close. Too close . What if Izuku forgot himself for a while and kissed him ? Holy shit. Please , move back a litt—

 

“You’ve grown , haven’t you, baby boy?”

HNGGGHHHHHHH—

 

Izuku could not fathom the contradicting levels of cringe and arousal that he felt from being called baby boy .

 

“I said s-s-s-shut up !”


Not very convincing, self.

 

“Oh, please . I know that defensiveness.” Kacchan straightened, putting a hand on his hip like he was some authoritative half-naked lawyer. “It’s like that one time we were over at Tokoyami’s. He had the same air around him as you do now when we had to use his laptop and then next thing you know, god damn packing tape Sero found porn on it.”

 

Okay, what !? Izuku blinked dumbly with wide eyes at Kacchan. Tokoyami? As in Tokoyami Fumikage? The same bird-head, human-body classmate who had a room filled with darkness and the occult? The one whose Quirk was Dark Shadow ? That Tokoyami had porn on his laptop? Did he watch it with his Quirky friend !? Like… Like… What…!? Izuku couldn’t think of anything but hens for some reason, despite knowing full well how wrong that was but still …!

 

“Toko—” Izuku’s eyes were wide with disbelief and surprise as he closed his fists over his knees. Kacchan seemed to be affected by the change of demeanor, judging by how he frowned curiously and tilted his head. Izuku bit his lip in contemplation. Should he… Should he ask?

 

“Was it…” Izuku whispered and Kacchan seemed to get that this was kind of a serious situation so he leaned forward to hear the rest of Izuku’s question. “...Was it ponies?”

 

Ponies !?” Kacchan blasted as he threw his head back and Izuku almost kicked him in the shin because that wasn’t something people should yell about. Not that the word “ponies” was bad on its own. But, hey! They were talking about porn ! And from what Izuku had seen so far…

 

“What in the fuck is up with that very specific animal?” Kacchan asked him, obviously confused. “How did you get pony from bird !?”

 

He gestured with both hands like Iida from left to right as if there was any need to demonstrate what he meant with “ pony from bird ”.

 

“I mean, Tokoyami isn’t entirely a bird , Deku, but for the sake of asking it and since we’re down this damn rabbit hole anyway, how does a pony even fuck a bird and vice-versa?!” Kacchan sounded like he was talking to himself before he snapped out of it and snickered evilly at Izuku.

 

“Or do you know, nerd?”

 

Oh, hell no .

 

“Fuck you, Kacchan! I’m not into that!” Izuku motioned to grab the half-naked blonde who just leapt away easily with crisp laughter.

 

“Ohohoho, you’re swearing at me now, you guilty fuck?” Kacchan kept cackling, tilting his head left and right, eyes wide and obviously up to no good. “If you’re not into that then what are you into?”

 

You .

 

Izuku wanted to say that and then retract it as a joke just to see what kind of face Kacchan would wear.

 

No, no, no, no. For the love of intact limbs, don’t say that. Don’t say that. Don’t say that.

 

“Oh my god, Kacchan! You don’t just ask people what their kinks are!” Izuku got up from his chair, red to his ears, as he motioned to grab his childhood friend again probably to hurt him or squeeze his pecs—Izuku didn’t know anymore!

 

Kacchan laughed again as he dodged effortlessly, walking back until he was standing on the futon laid out on the floor.

 

“So you do have kinky porn!”

 

Please stop saying kinky and porn!

 

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Izuku sat back down heavily on the chair and crossed his arms with a pout. “Shut up about it already!”

 

Kacchan allowed himself a few more cracks of laughter and then a scoff before looking at Izuku and shrugging.

 

“Okay, fine, don’t talk about it.” He approached with a chill nod. “Gimme, though.”

 

Huh?

 

“Give you?” Izuku frowned. “Give you what?”

 

Kacchan rolled his eyes away.

 

“A copy of the porn , you idiot.”

 

Izuku’s mouth opened so big in slow motion, he wouldn’t be surprised if the Batmobile just started driving out of it.


Was Kacchan really asking for a copy of porn? From Izuku ? Was there some sort of porn brotherhood rule that stated “thou shall share thy porn”? Because Izuku did not get the memo! Besides, he was pretty sure these collections were supposed to be personal and secret . Who the hell shared their porn!?

 

The fandom. His brain uselessly supplied. Shut up.

 

Regardless of the rules, Izuku could definitely not share his stash with Kacchan mainly because it was creepy . Was there any gentle and diplomatic way of saying “I kinda have fan made porn of you and I. Are you horny yet?”

 

Izuku shook his head to drag his sorry soul back into the absurd conversation of porn sharing.

 

“What are you talking about, Kacchan!? No!”

 

“Why not!?”

 

Because you might end up with unrealistic expectations of other people’s dicks .

 

“Because I don’t wanna!” Izuku yelled back. “And I don’t have to explain why I don’t wanna!”

 

Kacchan scoffed again because of course this crisis was absolutely funny.

 

“Well, wow , nerd, that must be one hell of a kink if you don’t even wanna share.”

 

Why, this little—!

 

Izuku just growled in response. Maybe if he stopped talking, Kacchan wouldn’t have anything to respond to and that would be the end of that. Or maybe he should just remind him that he had to contact his mom and—

 

“I bet you think you hid it well.” Kacchan smiled naughtily, crossing his arms over his very naked chest. “I bet you hid it in a locked folder nested inside multiple folders.”

 

The fuck!?

 

“I bet the password is something you can remember easily without being obvious...” He continued without batting an eye. “Not All Might, ‘coz that’s easy to guess. Something you like that people don’t expect. Like you being kinky.”

 

A contemplative pause, hopefully just for suspense.

 

“Your password is your kink.”

 

What the actual—!?

 

That wasn’t entirely wrong but who the hell asked him to play Detective Kacchan all of a sudden?! And how did he get all that!? How!? He was the last person who was supposed to know about Izuku’s new interests . How on earth was he able to deduce all that just by looking at Izuku’s reactions!?

 

Was there no god!?

 

“Bet you I can find it!”

 

Well, if the apocalypse was to happen, Izuku was all for it happening now!

 

As soon as Kacchan looked like he was going to lunge for the laptop was the same time Izuku tackled him —“AAAAAAAAA! NO!”—and rolled with him on the floor. Kacchan—the absolute mad man— just kept laughing as they wrestled, cursing, and teasing. He grappled with Izuku like this was some game , which it wasn’t. This was no game. ZeKu porn was never a game. So Izuku made sure to be yelling back at him, red-faced, and still internally conflicted if this entire thing was classified as foreplay, Kacchan-style.

 

Now Izuku was skilled in hand-to-hand combat on his own, but maybe having so many feelings right now made him, well, underperform. All of a sudden, he found himself being pinned chest first on the futon with his one arm twisted behind him, Kacchan’s knee on the small of his back. Aww, hell . Why was he so good? It didn’t help that Kacchan’s leg was kiiiiinda between his ass cheeks and holy fuck. Was this victory or defeat?

 

“Mmph!” Izuku tried wiggling but the hold on him was firm. His free arm tried pushing himself up but the other man wasn’t letting him.

 

“K-Kacchan…!”

 

“What, you’re gonna fight me for your porn now?”

 

“Nnngghh…!” Izuku lifted his upper body with grit teeth but Kacchan just pushed down on him again, slamming him back against the futon. Arrrrrgh, Izuku hated himself for thinking how that hurt so good.

 

“I…! Let me go already!”

 

“Why?” Kacchan shifted above him with a grunt. “So you can kick me this time?”

 

“N-no…! No, I promise I won’t…!” Izuku squirmed underneath him. “I… I’ll be good…!”

 

I’ll be what !?

 

What in the name of all that was holy did he just say ?! I’ll be good !? This wasn’t some sort of role play! Izuku wanted to have a word with his brain if only that were possible! But then, how was he to function when Kacchan slowly bent forward and whispered “Really, now?” so hotly in his ear and oooooooooohhhhhh god, Izuku was getting hard.

 

“Y-yes…!” Izuku whined, his free hand gripping the sheets. “Yes, I promise…!”

 

He could feel Kacchan’s chest moving with every breath against his back. The heat from the shower was slowly coming back to him. The sweet smell of nitroglycerin was hypnotizing. Izuku’s head was feeling hazy.

 

“Kacchan, please…”

 

“Then tell me who’s boss…!”

 

Eh? Why was he suddenly going all mafia and shit? Although that could work. Kacchan in a suit. Izuku wouldn’t mind being pinned onto a poker table after losing game after game and having nothing more to gamble. He’d be in debt and Kacchan would go “You’d have to pay me with… something else... ” and nooooooooooooo! What was he thinking!? This wasn’t the time to try his hand at coming up with fanfiction prompts !

 

“Kacchaaaaaan…!” Izuku complained because, really, he wasn’t aware if his dick hurt or if it was starting to come to life as a new villain to take over this whole mess.

 

“I don’t like that tone…!” Kacchan growled in his ear and oh, god, more, please, no, yes, stooooooop.

 

“I’ll ask you again.” Kacchan whispered, breath dancing against Izuku’s skin, taking his hormones to tango. “Who’s boss?”

 

Izuku whimpered, not that it was a complaint.

 

“Y-you are…”

 

Oh. Ohhhh, it felt good saying that. Izuku felt himself growing hard. If for some reason his dick just became so rigid and strong enough to push him up like a one-legged table, he wouldn’t be surprised but neither would he be proud of it.

 

“And who’s the best?” Kacchan asked again. Izuku internally screamed for him to lick his ear because god, heaven, Santa , please .

 

“Y-you…” Izuku gasped, almost panted, because it was getting difficult to breathe or think with Kacchan’s body over him like this. “You are…”

 

...Katsuki, he almost added. He bit his tongue.

 

Ah, the small snicker that Kacchan made shot straight to Izuku’s groin. Why was his dick such a greedy bastard? It wasn’t the only thing with a head . Izuku had an actual head housing his brain that needed blood, too, god damn it.

 

But then Kacchan decided to say two more breathy words that made the hairs on Izuku’s skin stand up.

 

“Good boy.”

 

AJSHDSAJKLDHAKLDHAKDHAKDLHDLAKHK

 

It took all of Izuku’s will power to stay still as Kacchan cleared off of him. He needed to calm down. If he moved, he just might tear Kacchan’s boxers off and take matters into his own horny hands.

 

Oh, god, he wanted Kacchan back on top of him. He wanted to be pinned down again, to be asked questions that made him submit. He wanted to feel Kacchan’s body against his. He felt perfect and hot and oh, so good . But, ah. Priorities. Orgasms? No . It’s sanity . Sanity first. And self-preservation. He needed to calm down. Calm down.

 

Behind him, he could feel and hear Kacchan stretching, placing his legs over the back of Izuku’s knees. Ah, why was this not affecting Kacchan at all? Izuku was all panicked and horny and flustered. Kacchan, on the other hand, was all chill and nonchalant and—argh. See? It was difficult to complain when all the blood was being hogged by the organ whose initial job in his life was to pee .

 

Izuku pouted and buried his face on the futon, frustrated with Kacchan, life, and the male human anatomy.

 

“Muih muiht miu…!”

 

“What?” Kacchan asked, leaning back on his palms. Izuku grunted and moved his head to the side, not budging from how he was still lying on his stomach.

 

“I hate you…!”

 

“The fuck ?” Kacchan raised an eyebrow at him. Wow. This clueless fuckable jerk with perfect arms.

 

“You were making fun of me!” Izuku complained again, pouting as he looked away. Kacchan clicked his tongue and scratched his head.

 

“I wasn’t making fun—Okay, maybe a little.” Kacchan shrugged and Izuku immediately snapped his sharpest glare because he deserved it.

 

“But it’s nothing to be fucking embarrassed about.” The beautiful blonde continued with a Kacchan kind of sincere smile that melted Izuku’s heart and uuuurgh, he hated himself. Why was he so weak to Kacchan’s smiling faces!?

 

“A lot of people have porn.” Handsome smiling person said again with another smirk. “Everyone in our fucking class has their own porn stash, I bet.”

 

Everyone in class? Everyone? Even the girls? Even Todoroki? Even Iida?

 

Izuku lifted his head and blinked.

 

“Even you?”

 

“Are you stupid? Of course , even me!”

 

And then Kacchan—this horrible clueless jerk—slapped Izuku’s ass jokingly. That just sent Izuku’s brain into the next fifty thousand dimensions. He had to swallow a groan along with his own throat inside-out because nnnnnggghhhh. This man. If they were the last two people on the planet, Izuku would not care if they weren’t capable of reproducing. He’d breed with him until they evolved.

 

“So take it easy.” Sexy breed Kacchan said with a huff. “Everyone’s got a little perviness in them.” And then he frowned thoughtfully as he looked at the ceiling. “Except Mineta. Mineta doesn’t have a little perviness. Mineta is a little perv.”

 

Izuku did not know what manner of stupidity or courage came upon him to ignore whatever Kacchan was saying to ask his next question.

 

“What’re you into?”

 

AJSHDKJAHDKADHAKLDHALHAKAAAAAAAAA

 

What the hell!? Izuku could feel his soul trying to issue code red.


Abort body! Abort! Abort! Abort!

 

Thankfully, Kacchan was better at this than he was and just laughed sarcastically, “Oh my god , Deku, you don’t just ask people what their kinks are!”

 

Izuku’s face heated up so much, he felt like his head was going to explode.

 

I hate you! ” He screamed and buried his face in the futon, kicking his legs and getting Kacchan’s calves off him.

 

“Hey!” Kacchan moved back, darting his head away from Izuku’s feet.

 

“Hey, come on. Don’t be mad. I actually think it’s fucking cute that you’re…” He paused as if to finally think of the right words. “...Well, whatever that god damn phase is… What is it called? Growing up more?”

 

Izuku moved his head to look back at his childhood friend and glare at him to the next century.

 

“I’m not a child…!”

 

Because really . He wasn’t. He was registered as part of an 18+ site and he was there legally . He was eligible to read E fics, god damn it.

 

“I never said you were.” Kacchan said but Izuku just grumbled back and went back to planting his face onto the futon. Behind him, Kacchan groaned and then scratched his head. Oh, wow, if he was done then… Then Izuku was… Yeah, no, Izuku wasn’t done .

 

Fine , I’m sorry.” Kacchan slowly crawled over Izuku’s body—oh, god—to lie down on his stomach next to Izuku on the futon—oh, god —resting his chin on his beautiful folded arms.  “I’m not going to make fun of your mysterious kinks again.”

 

Nnnnggghh, those shoulders .

 

Izuku made a sound that he wasn’t sure meant anything. Maybe dicks made sounds, too. He didn’t know anymore. Nothing was real . Half-naked Kacchan was lying so closely next to him. Nothing mattered. Oh, god why didn’t Izuku have eyes at the back of his head so he could stare at Kacchan’s ass right now?

 

“Now, come on.” Kacchan turned his head as he nudged Izuku jokingly. “Tell me about your day, big boy .”

 

Oh, gods help him. This was going to be a long night.

Chapter Text

It took awhile before Izuku could recover because dicks seem to know when its owner was panicking from an erection and harden some more like some form of self-defense . Kacchan talked him through it all without knowing it, though. That helped. Thankfully. So now they were lying on their backs and next to each other on the futon, staring at the ceiling as Izuku told Kacchan all about his patrol day.

 

“So then Mari-chan started running and I was like no, don’t go there !” Izuku gestured with his hands and Kacchan allowed himself a small laugh. Izuku tilted his head so he could look at him. “...Coz, you know, angry grandpa was there.”

 

“Fuck.” Kacchan frowned without tearing his eyes from the ceiling. “Tell me she didn’t flip his switch.”

 

“No. Thankfully .” Izuku clasped his hands over his belly.“Toro-chan called her back and she just, you know, waddled back to us.” Kacchan made a small sound and Izuku responded to that with his own contemplative noise. He wasn’t sure if trading sounds and noises could be classified as communication but he’d take whatever interaction he could get with Kacchan right now.

 

“I mean, I could’ve chased her.” Izuku added, only tilting his head towards the man next to him but not removing his eyes from the ceiling. “But for some reason, my legs couldn’t catch up to a child .”

 

“Yeah, I get what you mean. It’s because they aren’t threats, I guess.” And then Kacchan fidgeted like he remembered something so he shifted. He lay on his side to face Izuku, propping himself on one elbow. Ah, well, this view wasn’t so bad. Izuku loved how the cuts on his muscles were more well-defined in this pose. And how he looked like he was displaying his nicely toned torso just for Izuku. Life was good.  

 

“You know I had supplementary classes for prov license with Half-and-half back in UA, right?”

 

“Mmhm.”

 

Izuku was answering both the question and satisfying the urge to make a sound to express his Nnngh™.

 

“Yeah, so…” Kacchan shifted to somehow make himself more comfortable but didn’t really change his position. “There was this session where we had to deal with kids and let ‘em loose or some shit. Some of them brats took one of my fucking gauntlets—”

 

“Wait, what? ” Izuku raised an eyebrow at him. “Did you say brats took your gauntlets ?”

 

“Okay, let me fucking explain.” Kacchan sat up and crossed his legs, gesturing to his arms as he explained. “Those damn gauntlets were dangerous so I couldn’t have them locked and ready to fire at all times. That kinda meant they were loose and shit. Had to fix that fucking idea moving forward. So anyway, little shits were running around with god damn nitroglycerin. I almost had a fuckin’ heart attack.”

 

Izuku raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes. Children were playing with those gauntlets? It was a good thing they didn’t blow up or else !

 

“Half-and-half was like…” And then Kacchan slightly tried to deadpan as he pushed his hair down, lowering his voice and speaking in monotone. “ Should you be really letting those get stolen easily?

 

Izuku laughed. Katsuki groaned.

 

“If it’s worth anything, that was a passable Todoroki impression.” Izuku smiled widely as he sat up cross-legged to pat Kacchan on the shoulder. “10/10 would work on peas and almost makes up for careless gauntlets episode.”

 

The blonde was quick to swat the offending hand away.

 

“Fuck you. You’d have done worse!”

 

“Oh, I doubt!” Izuku said smugly. “I’m better with kids than you. That is a fact. Fight me.”

 

Kacchan’s eye twitched. Part of him still responded with a drop of spite at the mention that Izuku was better at him than anything . It used to be annoying back then. At the moment it was just amusing.

 

“Oh, yeah!? Well…!” Kacchan raised his head like arrogance was instinctive until his proper senses kicked in and levelled his voice back down. “Well, yeah.” He pouted and looked away, grumbling, lower lip sticking out. Cute.

 

“Piece of shit.” He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and ooohh, those pecs. “I just don’t understand little tykes. I just…” And then Kacchan shrugged before leaning back on one palm, folding one leg up so he could rest his other arm on his knee. “I just don’t , you know? I mean, right off the bat? I can’t. Takes a while before I can ease into the whole mingling with kids thing.”

 

Izuku allowed himself a wider smile. It was refreshing hearing Kacchan easily talk about the things he could or could not do. He felt more open and, er, closer? Yeah. That. As contradictory as that might sound. Ah, but, well, a lot about Kacchan and their relatio— connection —a lot about their connection was contradictory. But that was okay.

 

“The pre-schoolers love you.” Izuku said with a shrug. He was still smiling.

 

“Only ‘coz I’m a Hero.” Kacchan tilted his head like he was bored. “And Heroes are cool by default.”

 

Oh, wow. Pouty Kacchan was cute. Izuku wanted to squish his cheeks and rub their noses together and peck kisses on his pouty lips. Was he being humble now all of a sudden? Why? What was going on? What was happening? Wasn’t he happy that the children liked him? Or maybe he wanted adults to like him?

 

Err… What to say?

 

“Their teacher likes you.” Izuku said without thinking and only when the words had left his mouth did he realized that he actually missed a chance to say “ I like you”. Except did he have the courage? Was he prepared for that? Maybe not. Still, though, he didn’t like how he brought up other people crushing on Kacchan. And it seemed Kacchan wasn’t so happy about it either judging by the very sharp side-eye he was shooting at Izuku.

 

“Everybody likes me ‘coz I’m awesome.” He said with a shrug like he just wanted the conversation to be over. “Fact of life.”

 

Well, if Kacchan had a personality that was a little less rough on the edges then that would be truer than true. Maybe Izuku was a bit biased but he was willing to bet that Kacchan could be more popular than King of Fanfiction Todoroki Shouto who had the name, looks, skills, and an insanely amazing Quirk. Katsuki Bakugou had a lot more than that. Good looks. An amazing quirk. A well-maintained body. Passion for his craft. Out-of-this-world fighting skills. Fashion sense. And talent—an ocean’s worth of a talent pool. He could fight, sing, dance, cook, play musical instruments, design, play sports, and so much more.

 

But wasn’t that why Izuku liked him, too?

 

“He’s the image of victory!” He recalled Smackbang say.

 

No, he’s my image of victory.

 

Uuuuuurgh! No! Resolve! He couldn’t allow himself to be all sappy like this! Didn’t he decide that it didn’t matter what other people thought of Kacchan? Wasn’t he here right now? With Izuku , not them ? He had tactical advantage with strategic positioning. All was fair in love and war!

 

Oh, that reminded him of his promise.

 

“By the way, I was talking to Smackbang this morning.” He said after a quick inhale. “He gave me notes of your instruc—”

 

“Fifteen years too late.” Katsuki growled.

 

“— Instructions .” Izuku insisted on continuing with his sentence. “He was so… interested in you and…”

 

Kacchan was starting to glare and what for ? Izuku brushed it off. Scowling Kacchan was default Kacchan.

 

“...And he really likes you!” Izuku finished with a nod.

 

Kacchan rolled his eyes away with a disgusted twist of his lips. Izuku made a noise because what the hell? There was no reason for Kacchan to make that face about Smackbang. Sure, he screwed up with the instructions and that waking up incident. But both were first and forgivable offenses. Not like he wiped an entire city with his mistakes. Izuku wasn’t sure why Kacchan was too mad about this.

 

“Okay, fuck it…” Kacchan frowned, pushed himself forward and crossed his legs. “Why are you suddenly interested in him?”

 

Huh?

 

“Interested?”

 

Izuku tilted his head to the left.

 

“Yeah,” Kacchan leaned forward with a rather irritated look on his face. “What’s so great about him?”

 

Izuku tilted his head to the right.

“What do you—I don’t know.” He shrugged as he made a confused face. “His eyelashes?”

 

Everyone has eyelashes.” Kacchan squinted in that “are you making fun of me, Deku” way. Eh? What was annoying him? Izuku’s brain was trying to recall how their conversation had been so far but couldn’t properly pinpoint what was pissing Kacchan off.

 

“Yeah, well, his are pretty?” Because maybe that was the right answer? Kacchan wanted specifics? He wasn’t sure, but it didn’t look to be the right answer judging by how Kacchan was growling at him.

 

“I… Well, um…” Izuku scratched his head and looked away shiftily. “I guess, he’s just very enthusiastic if that’s what you’re asking? I don’t know? Why is this an issue? I’m just saying he really likes you.”

 

He growled. Kacchan’s answer was a deeper, rumbling growl .

 

Izuku kept blinking dumbly at him because why ? What was he angry about? And maybe Kacchan realized he was also being a silly thing with how he wiped a hand over his face as he sighed very, very deeply. As if he had patience reserved in his lungs.

 

“Fine. Let’s acknowledge that.” Kacchan shrugged and made dismissive gestures with his hand to get over with the premise. “So he likes me. And? I’m his senior . He loves me like you love All Might.”

 

The words “he loves me” sent something spinning and boiling in Izuku almost that he wanted to pick a fight with Kacchan. Loved him like Izuku loved All Might? Maybe. But consider maybe not ? Had he seen Smackbang blush ? The way his eyes sparkled when he talked about Kacchan? Probably not because Kacchan was oblivious.

 

This dense idiot.

 

“Does he call you senpai?” Izuku asked for the heck because seniors were to be called senpai and therefore, Deku was more of a senior to Smackbang than Ground Zero ever was. So what the hell was this angry buff blonde talking about?

 

“Did you call All Might senpai?” Kacchan cocked his head so sassily with an eyebrow raised so high, it might have hit pigeons in the morning.

 

“No.”

 

“Then shut up.” Kacchan hissed, tilting his head in that angry kinda-maniacal Kacchan way he did. “He calls you senpai. Why don’t you fucking adopt his little ass if you fucking like him so much?”


How the hell did this conversation become about that ? Maybe Kacchan was annoyed that Izuku was taking sides? Maybe he was feeling attacked? Izuku should change the way he phrased his words, then. He didn’t mean for it to look like making Smackbang a victim of Kacchan’s anything.

 

“Kacchan, I only meant to say not to be mean to him.”

 

Izuku literally almost went “Kacchan, honey , I only meant…” Where was his brain picking up all these things?

 

“I’m being mean ?” That didn’t seem to please the already ticked off blonde man. “He said that? He told you I was being fucking mean !?”

 

Okay. Rephrase again! Rephrase! God, why was Izuku bad at this!? Or as Kacchan being difficult again?

 

“No, no!” Izuku waved his hands both to signal defeat and to figuratively erase his previous words. “He was just really distraught because he woke you and you kind of went off on him.”

 

“I was sleeping .”

 

Because obviously that statement alone should be reason all by itself.

 

Oh, Kacchan.

 

“I know .” Izuku said, his shoulders dropping in exasperation because he felt like he’d been going around in circles. “And I’m just saying he felt bad for doing that. The entire world isn’t inclined to be aware of your tendencies so maybe let him know that you’re not forever furious at him.”

 

Kacchan just kept frowning but he looked to be thinking as he crossed his arms, which was a good sign. At least he was considering other arguments. And that gave Izuku the courage to follow up.

 

“The boy thinks you hate him. He was so sad. He’s just a child.”

 

Younger is what he is.” Kacchan uncrossed his arms and waved a hand like all of this was bullshit. “ Child is too much. He’s a fucking pro Hero , Deku. Don’t spoil him.”

 

“He’s a fan , Kacchan.”


Because Smackbang truly was . A love rival for Izuku, maybe, but he was Kacchan’s fan . Those were two different things. And Izuku was not an asshole to turn all of this into something personal.

 

“What the fuck do you want me to do?!” Kacchan hit the futon with an open palm. “Take him for god damn ice cream?!”

 

No. No, most definitely not that . Izuku was in no way suggesting that they go out on a date. What was this man talking about!? Why was he so angry!?

 

“I just don’t want him to feel hated by you !” Izuku groaned because, god, Kacchan could be so frustrating and dense sometimes. “Is that too much to ask?!”

 

“Well, what about my wants!? I mean I like—!” Kacchan immediately closed his mouth and puffed his cheeks, glaring at Izuku who just met it with a less aggressive but equally firm glare because why the hell not? And maybe that did it because Kacchan just took a deep breath and swallowed hard before scratching his head heavily.

 

“Fine!” Kacchan threw his hands in the air in frustrated defeat. “Fucking idiot.” Then he stood up. “Ugh! I’m going to the god damn toilet…!”


And that was it. Kacchan marched angrily off the futon—”I don’t know why I fucking try.”—and Izuku let him. It was no use arguing with this man anymore since he already caved in. Any more prodding and he was literally going to kick off Explodo Murder King time.

 

Izuku grabbed his phone from his side table while waiting for Kacchan. Oh. He hadn’t noticed how he had a LINE message.

 

SUZAKU HIKIGANE.

 

I’m sorry for disturbing you, senpai! I was just worried if I caused you any trouble with Ground Zero! I’m very sorry!

 

And then there was a bunch of sorry stickers that followed.

 

Awww. Smackbang was so cute. Izuku could absolutely not hate this person.

 

No, no! It wasn’t you! It was totally my fault! Don’t worry…! Sorry for the late reply. About to go to bed.

 

Send.

 

Okay, the last bit might partly be a lie because he wasn’t sure if he was going to bed yet. He was kind of keen on staying up for as long as Kacchan wanted. Doing things.

 

Things .

 

Izuku’s face was starting to heat up again. Aaaaah! He was glad internalizations weren’t audible to others or it would’ve been embarrassing! Izuku grabbed a pillow and squeezed it in his arms as he bent forward so his forehead was touching the futon.

 

I’m a pervert. I’m a pervert!

 

“What the fuck are you worshipping?” Kacchan’s voice came with the sound of the bathroom door opening. Izuku only lifted his head to see him approach. God, he was never going to get tired of watching him walk around in his boxers like that. How was Kacchan not aware that his body was criminal? Was he like this in other people’s houses, too? Was he willing to strip down to his underwear just about anywhere?

 

Izuku was reminded of the sleepover and porn discovery at Tokoyami’s.

 

Uuuuurgh, now that he thought about it, why wasn’t he invited to that? Why didn’t he know that? Izuku wanted to demand answers from Kacchan except he didn’t have any right.

 

“Say…” Kacchan began as he made his way to sit next to Izuku on the futon. “Do you know what Smackbang’s Quirk is?”

 

Izuku only tilted his head towards Kacchan.

 

“No. What?”

 

“I don’t know the nitty-gritty but he can detonate anything he touches .

 

Well, that was rich. And dangerous .

 

Anything?

 

Because the possibility of blowing up with a human being just by a touch was scary .

 

“Well, I’m not sure if it’s totally anything .” Kacchan shrugged, making a face. “I do know it’s strength-based.

 

What? Okay. Now Izuku was curious. He sat up, pillow on his lap. A strength-based detonation Quirk?

 

“How does that work?”

 

Kacchan let his eyes linger on Izuku for a while before lying with his back on the futon, putting his hands at the back of his head. Izuku no longer tried to resist his Nnngh™ tendencies upon seeing how perfect the muscles on Kacchan’s chest and arms were. He was so pretty and perfect and yummy and fine , Izuku was a pervert. But only for Kacchan .

 

Wow. It felt so liberating to admit that. The timing could have been better, though.

 

“The detonation is dependent on the amount of strength he exerts to touch the target.” Kacchan explained, eyes on the ceiling. “So for example, if his hand just brushes against the target, he gets a small explosion. If he punches …”

 

Kacchan’s eyes moved to Izuku who was already finishing his sentence.

 

“...He gets a big explosion.”

 

“Exactly.” Kacchan nodded, looking quite pleased.

 

Well, wow. That was one hell of a Quirk. Why wasn’t Izuku aware of that? That should go into his records. What were the details of the Quirk? Was there a delay? Could he detonate his Quirk at will or after a timer? What were the physical repercussions of that? Were there limits to the number of detonations? The size of the target? The radius of the explosion? How many could he use per day?

 

“That shit probably needs to be fine-tuned like all hell.” Kacchan continued explaining, eyes on the ceiling again. “It’s got to have its own drawback. Limitation. Physical stress. Like my explosion. Or Todoroki’s body temperature.”

 

Izuku smiled, plopping on his stomach next to Kacchan as he squeezed the pillow between his arms and under his chest so he could rest his chin on it. Kacchan raised an eyebrow at him as if to say, “What? Spit it out if you’re about to say something.”

 

Izuku giggled.


“Todoroki Todorokis.”

 

Kacchan made a disgusted sound and pulled out one hand from under his head to grab Izuku’s face.

 

“That joke, nerd. Let it go…!”

 

“Neverrrrr…!” Izuku laughed, shaking his head to remove Kacchan’s hand. The fingers loosened on their own and returned to supporting Kacchan’s head.

 

“So…!” Izuku chirped, shifting to fix how he’s lying on the futon and discreetly inching towards Kacchan. “How do you know all of this about Smackbang?”

 

Also, why was he staring at Kacchan’s armpit?

 

“He kind of blabbed about it at me during one of the times that I ran into him.” Kacchan narrated nonchalantly. “I can’t remember all the details ‘coz he was all excited yakity-yak like some fuckwad I know.”

 

Someone he knew?

 

“Who?”

 

“No one you know. Shut up.” He glared at Izuku briefly, shaking his head before looking at the ceiling again. “So he asked me for advice on his gear or technique or something but I really didn’t have the time to talk to him about it because I was about to head out for patrol.”

 

“Hmm. What did you say?” Izuku was finding it hard to time his stares at Kacchan’s armpit or more like why, again, was he sneakily gawking at an armpit? Izuku made a constant effort to mentally tell himself not to do something stupid like talking to Kacchan’s armpit.

 

Kacchan furrowed his eyebrows for a while, sticking out his lower lip in contemplation—wah, cute—before shrugging.

 

“I think I told him to go to the support department.” And then he turned to Izuku who managed to avert his eyes just in time. “Why the fuck would he ask me for support items? Did I look like a fucking screwdriver?”

 

Izuku laughed, holding back the strong urge to snuggle next to this man or bury his face in his chest.

 

“You say like you can’t figure out anything about support items.” Izuku hugged the pillow tighter to help control himself. “Your gear… The initial design from our first year in UA? I think minimizing the risk with the gauntlets was smart.”

 

Kacchan smirked, whatever that meant.

 

“Except they were quite large at that time, right?” Izuku added thoughtfully. “Really bulky.”

 

Yes , like up to my fucking biceps.” He sat up and gestured with a hand over his arms, showing Izuku just how thick he remembered it. “Three times thicker than my arm or some shit. The fuck was I thinking...?”

 

“I thought you looked cool!” Izuku chirped again because he was not going to let any chance of praising Kacchan slip away. That was his job. He was born for that. Awesome Kacchan. Cool Kacchan. Fantastic Kacchan. Sexy Kacchan. Nnngh™ Kacchan.

“With your initial costume, I imagine that was the case.” The blonde man smirked and clicked his tongue as he swung his legs over the Izuku’s lower back. “Who goes to fight wearing minty rabbit pajamas?

“Rude!” Izuku shot at him, only moving slightly because he didn’t want Kacchan to remove his legs. “I was going for an All Might theme, okay?!”

 

“In that shade of green?” Kacchan raised an eyebrow as he leaned back on his palms again. “ Please .”

 

That statement reminded Izuku that Kacchan was the son of two people who worked in the fashion industry

 

“My mom got it for me! I told you already!” Izuku screeched, lifting his legs and folding them back in an attempt for his feet to reach Kacchan’s legs on his back. “And what’s so bad about bunnies anyway?!“

 

“Nothing...!” Kacchan raised one hand to sarcastically surrender as he went on. “They just aren’t All Might, you know! Especially in that shade of green!”

 

From that point, they evolved into a discussion of how Izuku’s costume evolved over the years. They discussed about the change in color themes with Kacchan saying that the tinge of orange was a nice touch. Kacchan did not hold back lambasting the first version of Izuku’s mouth guard—”I thought it was there to catch drops of spit when you talked.”—which earned them another round of grappling to defend honor and points of view.

 

Eventually, they discussed gear. Izuku talked a lot about Hatsume Mei and Kacchan agreed with how she was incredibly talented. He talked about the evolution of his gauntlets and how she managed to make it not only compact but also transformable . She also added some support for his arms and shoulders considering the drawback of his Quirk put tension on his limbs. Izuku asked him if he was still improving his gear. Kacchan said yes.

 

“I’ll take you to the support department with me next time.” Kacchan said casually. “When you’re free. If you’re free. I mean, if you want.”

 

And Izuku was all for it .

 

“Tell me when! I’ll make time!”


Kacchan made a face.

 

“Nerd.”

 

Their conversation moved forward to discuss other Heroes’ gears and the evolution of support items thus far. Izuku had so many opinions and ideas that Kacchan was more than willing to engage. The mention of All Might with equipment sent Izuku into a spiraling fanboy mess, regretting how he had not found anything about it at all. Kacchan only laughed at him with another scoff of “shitty nerd”.

 

Kacchan’s taunting of Izuku not changing as a fanboy led them to discuss about things that actually changed. Which of their classmates were doing what now? What were their roles as Heroes exactly? Izuku sadly recounted that they hadn’t seen each other in a long while and that it would be nice if their schedules actually aligned for a reunion. He missed everyone. And that, in turn, prompted him to pull out his phone so he and Kacchan could look at old pictures.

 

Neither of them noticed how only half of their upper bodies were on the futon, how they were both lying so much closer to each other. Both of them were lying on their sides, Izuku holding the phone with two hands and Kacchan behind him, almost spooning him—almost, just almost. He was propped on his elbow, his blonde head resting on his hand. Izuku’s back was pressed against Kacchan’s bare chest, but he was so engrossed with the conversation to notice.

 

“See, this one was last year.” Izuku showed him a picture of Iida, Todoroki, Uraraka, and Tsuyu. “We ate at that newly-opened restaurant that allegedly had good cold soba noodles.”

 

“Allegedly?” Kacchan asked, looking over Izuku’s green head to see.

 

“Not to be mean, but it was bad.” Izuku shrugged.

 

“Oh.” Kacchan shrugged and took the liberty to swipe on the phone screen and then Izuku lost his shit.

 

Izuku screeched so loudly that Kacchan’s initial response was to roll on the floor and get into battle stance, one arm immediately drawn back, fingers flexing and ready to make an explosion. It took him a second to realize how Izuku had bounced right onto the bed across the room, clutching his phone to himself. He was frantically tapping and blinking at the screen before lifting his eyes to acknowledge the other man in the room. There was a pillow that lay discarded on the floor like it was embarrassed for the both of them.

 

“What the fuck is your problem!?” Kacchan shouted in disbelief.

 

“Why did you swipe so suddenly!?” Izuku yelled back shrilly because holy fuck, he almost went into cardiac arrest! Didn’t this man have any consideration not to touch another person’s screen !? Were there no ethics regarding that!? God, it was nice that things were getting cozy but there were just some things in Izuku’s phone that made him jumpy ! Sure, he had secured his collection via a secret folder app but come on!

 

“The hell!?” Kacchan sounded outraged. “I just thought there were more pictures! Is that a crime now!?”

 

Izuku only bit his lip. No, it wasn’t. Maybe Kacchan was really just getting comfortable and Izuku’s guilty ass had to ruin it. He had no excuse. No explanation. He should apologize, maybe?

 

“Fuck, man,” Kacchan ran a hand through this hair (Oooh, sexy. Do it again.) as he walked back towards the futon. “I mean if you have dick pics over th—”

 

He stopped walking. His hand fell from his hair. Izuku did not like that. Things didn’t make a turn for the better when Kacchan made pauses like that .

“What?” He asked almost experimentally. He felt like he was poking a stick at an explosive.

 

Kacchan turned towards him so painfully and eerily slow .

 

“What is it?”


Ohhhh, Izuku did not like how those red eyes were now squinting knowingly at him. Oh fuck. Oh hell. Oh no !

 

“Kacchaaaaan!” Izuku screamed right at the same time that Kacchan pointed accusingly at him with a holler of, “You have porn on your phone, too!”

 

“Raaaaaaa!” Izuku could not find words.

 

“Okay, let me guess…!” Kacchan just dropped to sit with a thump on the futon, legs apart, hands resting on his folded knees as he smiled widely as Izuku. “You downloaded an app that would lock your folders so you can keep ‘em on your phone. And the password is the same as the one on your laptop!”

 

WHAT WAS UP WITH THIS MAN!?

 

“Sh-sh-shut up!” Izuku immediately jumped out of the bed, picking up the pillow on the floor as he charged towards the man on the futon. “Shut the fuck up!”

 

Izuku whapped Kacchan with the pillow once. Twice. Thrice. Over and over and over because Kacchan kept laughing and Izuku was so, so embarrassed. How did he know that much!? How could he tell!? This was unfair! Izuku had no idea whatsoever about Kacchan’s porn anything !

 

“Oh my god, you have porn on your phone!” Kacchan laughed as he rolled from left to right on the futon, lifting his hands, not even trying to properly defend against the barrage of pillow attacks. “You fucking champ , even I don’t have it on my—”

 

“I hate yoooooouuuuu!” Izuku threw the pillow one last time at him before stomping back to his bed. “Stupid Kacchan! Stupid! You stupid!”

 

“Oh, wha—H-hey…!” Kacchan wiped his tears of fucking joy as he watched Izuku climb angrily on the mattress.

 

“Deku…!”

 

Izuku lay on his side and covered himself heavily with a blanket with the intention of sending air pressure towards the ceiling just to make it known that Kacchan was a jerk . Izuku wanted to cry.

 

“Stupid Kacchan.”

 

Yeah, maybe he was going to cry.

 

“Stupid Kacchan…!”

 

“Hey, are you…” Kacchan slowly sat properly, motioning to get up. “Are you really crying right now?”

 

Izuku didn’t answer coz guilt . Let the guilt eat him . Suffer. Apologize.

 

“Oi, Deku.” The bed dipped as Kacchan carefully sat on the edge. “Look at me. Look at—” Izuku grabbed the pillow from under his head and smacked Kacchan right in the face with it.

“—Ow!”

 

Kacchan staggered back. Izuku came after him, swinging the pillow frustratedly because “ Kacchan, you jerk! Jerk! Jerk! ” They made it back to the futon, Kacchan falling on his butt and Izuku throwing the pillow at him heavily. Kacchan swatted it with his arm, but that was all the time Izuku needed to grab him by the hands and somehow straddle him with the intention of just hitting his chest over and over again.

 

“Hey…! Okay, listen, I’m sor—Ow! Fuckin violent piece of—I’m trying to apologize! What the fuck !?”

 

And Kacchan’s just about had it . He grabbed Izuku by the wrists and glared as a warning but Izuku went fuck that so now they were grappling and rolling back and forth on the floor again. The futon was already very disheveled when they came to a stop. Katsuki was on top of Izuku, legs on either side of his torso, and big hands pinning Izuku’s wrists in place.

 

“Hey!”

 

“You said you wouldn’t make fun of me…!” Izuku yelled at me, kicking his legs more in a tantrum than a retaliation. “Stupid Kacchan!”

 

“That wasn’t the intention!” Kacchan thundered back. “I just really think you’re cute so—!”

 

Aaaaaaand what ?

 

Both of them shut up and went still like someone hit an off switch.

 

What?

 

What was that?

 

Izuku was not blinking as a flash of “uh-oh” washed over Kacchani’s face above him. A tinge of pink rushed up from his neck and his cheeks as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Izuku would kiss him if he could move right now.

 

“I mean… Not…” Kacchan let go of Izuku’s wrists as he drew back to sit on his haunches. “I mean this . It .” He made circular gestures that would have made Izuku tilt his head had he not been busy ingraining “I really think you’re cute” into his brain.

 

“The… The thing …” Kacchan stressed because sure , that made sense. “The situation… The situation … Is cute...”

 

Oh. Izuku remained lying down. Oh, he misspoke. Ah, yeah. That was… That was embarrassing. Yeah. Um. It was nice to hear it, though?

 

“I need water.” Kacchan got up immediately and padded to the kitchen. Izuku just made a small noise to acknowledge it. He needed a while to lie down, recollect himself and hopefully draft wedding vows in his head.

 

“I just really think you’re cute.”

 

It was really nice to hear and replay over and over. Kacchan had said it many times in different scenes in his head—holding his hand while having dinner, just before kissing him on a cliff with the sunset as a backdrop, on a magic carpet, waking up in the morning, just before they went to bed, and after sex. And he did mean after because he was pretty sure that Kacchan was kind of a dirty talker mid-action.

 

Izuku could not help the smile crawling across his currently heated face. He pursed his lips and turned to his side, finding the pillow with his foot, and kicking it up so he could cover his head with it..

 

“I just really think you’re cute.”

 

Sure, he misspoke and didn’t mean it, but he said it anyway—those words, in that order. And Izuku heard it. Nothing was going to take that away from him.

 

Izuku could hear glasses clinking in the kitchen and the faint sound of movement as he tried to calm himself down. His heart was beating loudly and it was difficult to will away his stupid smile.

 

“Hey, Deku.” Kacchan’s voice was coming from above him. Izuku peeked from under the pillow to see him offering a glass of water and wearing a kind of apologetic face. His cheeks were still pink and aaaah, it was so difficult to stay angry when Kacchan was wearing such an expression.

 

With a sigh, Izuku sat up and accepted the water offering. He took the glass in his fingers and drank it quietly. Kacchan waited for him just as wordlessly, taking the empty glass back to the kitchen when he was done.

 

Izuku slowly laid back down on his side, covering his head with the pillow again. How was he to fix this awkward atmosphere? He didn’t really mean for it to be this way. He was just frustrated because he still thought that having porn was embarrassing. And besides, Kacchan said he wouldn’t make fun of it anymore.

 

Although, maybe Izuku went overboard? Maybe he hit Kacchan too hard?

 

Apologize and get naked to prove your sincerity.

 

What the hell, brain!? Why was he like this!?

 

“Hey, Deku.” Kacchan’s voice approached with his footsteps. Izuku squeezed his eyes tightly for some resolve before lifting the pillow off his head. He found Kacchan sitting cross-legged by his feet, scratching his head as he looked away.

 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “I won’t mention it again.”

 

Ugh. Damn. This was bad for Izuku’s heart. He was so cute when he pouted apologetically and embarrassed like that. And, well, hearing Kacchan say he wasn’t going to tease him about the porn again was kind of… Sad? Now he realized it really wasn’t that he hated Kacchan teasing him. He was just embarrassed. And guilty. Very guilty.

 

Ahh, did this mean Kacchan wasn’t going to discuss porn anything with Izuku…!? And was okay with discussing it with Sero and the others!? God damn it! Did Tokoyami Fumikage know more of Kacchan’s porn habits and kinks than his childhood friend!?

 

Good lord, Izuku just might have fucked this up. How to fix? How to fix? How to fix?!

 

Izuku sat up slowly, terribly worried about how he could’ve just shut one of the things he’d actually want to discuss with Kacchan in the future.

 

“I…” Izuku began. “I’m sorry, too… For hitting you a lot.”

 

“That?” Kacchan rested an elbow on his knee, head on his chin, and fingers over his mouth. “Didn’t hurt.”

Wasn’t really the point but okay. He was more concerned with how Kacchan was now more non-chalant and dull . Oh, god . Izuku felt like he screwed this up really, really bad. Great, way to go turning off his crush. They were never going to fuck now. Izuku was going to grow old alone and his dick was going to shrivel up in sadness.

 

Everything was going so well . Why did he have to scream his ass off? Why did he have to barrage Kacchan with a pillow assault and fists ?! Izuku really wanted to cry now. It felt like there were a thousand bees in his stomach and something wanted to crawl out of his throat. He wanted to say sorry. He wanted to go back to that small semblance of cuddling on the floor.

 

The heavy rain outside that had been forgotten was suddenly very loud.

 

“Fine.” Kacchan broke the silence and Izuku snapped to attention because what? What was fine?

 

“Seeing as you’re such a wimp, I’ll actually help you get even with me out of the fucking goodness of my goddamn effing heart .”

 

Wh-what?

 

Izuku blinked dumbly at him, tears practically at the back of his eyes. He had no idea what Kacchan had in mind but he took comfort in the idea that he didn’t really look as angry or offended as Izuku had assumed.

 

“Here’s my offer, nerd.” Kacchan huffed with a certain tone of finality and authority. “I’ll tell you one of my kinks and you can make fun of it if you want.”

 

Izuku went deaf . He could practically hear his brain hit the brakes on his thinking process with wheels screeching against his skull because did he just say… kinks?! Or, more accurately… Kacchan’s kinks?! In exchange for what!? His soul?! Was this Kacchan or Satan!?

 

“A-are you…” Izuku began, trying to tell his inner self to please stop screaming “I don’t care what they are! Let’s try them out toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!” and tearing off its imaginary clothes. God, the inner pervert was so real, Mineta was going to live in his brain.

 

“Well, if you’re not interested—” Kacchan looked away and Izuku panicked .

“I didn’t say that!”

 

Okay, that may have been a little too eager but like hell he was going to let this chance slip! Sharing kinks was okay. Definitely okay. That was a good deal. Great deal. Perfect deal. Tokoyami and the other guys should not be the only one that Kacchan was talking to about this. Sure, Izuku was still not going to share his porn stash, but that was an entirely different story.

 

Now back to more important life matters—Kacchan Kinks™!

 

Kacchan scooted closer and Izuku could practically feel himself unlearning how to breathe to free some space in his brain for Kacchan’s Kinky Corner.

 

This wasn’t a joke right?


This was really happening?

 

Izuku’s heart was beating so loud .

 

Kacchan smiled naughtily. Oh, god . Inner Izuku just came , god damn it, and his dick was twitching. There was no lowering all the sexy from this man, was there? Izuku was going to die before he learned anything.

 

“You’re really paying attention. You fucking perv. ” Kacchan whispered lowly and part of Izuku felt the need to retaliate because excuse me? They were both into porn? That’s like the pot calling the kettle hot. Or something.

 

“If you say anything like missionary, I’m going to suckerpunch you with my Quirk.” Izuku wasn’t sure why he was murmuring. There’s only two of them in the room and they weren’t trading illegal substances.

 

We could be trading other substances, though?

 

Izuku screamed internally.

 

“Missionary is not a kink, you useless clump of moss.“ Kacchan poked him in the forehead and Izuku swatted his hand away for effect.

 

“I’m just being sure you won’t weasel out of your own offer…!”

 

‘Coz I might cry if you do.

 

“Fuck you…!” Kacchan glared.

 

“Look at me when you say it.” Izuku glared back. Or at least tried to. He was gripping the pillow on his lap so tightly.


“I reiterate, sir, and I do declare—Fuck you.”

 

Oh, hell . Izuku meant to look at him when he said the kink but god damn it, fine . Arguing about this was a waste of time. His dick was getting so excited, it just might break out of his shorts, screaming for them to get on with it and—

 

“I’m into blindfolds.”

 

—REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

What the hell was wrong with this man just dropping it like a bomb like that!? Holy shit! Izuku was still gearing up and Kacchan just went—BOOM— I’m into blindfolds ! Damn if the great big bang that was said to create this world didn’t happen in Izuku’s mind! That information alone was key to a hell lot of kinky fic plots!


Blindfolds. While naked. Izuku’s mind was going in circles. He was into that, too. Izuku was contemplating covering his eyes with a pillow case right now to ask if Kacchan would like any revisions.


But calm down. Calm down. This was basically like research, yeah? He had to scrutinize. He had to be meticulous. Details. He needed details . Sexy, juicy details.

 

“So is it…” Izuku began, a bit hesitant. “Do you like blindfolding people or… Or do you like getting blindfolded…?”

 

And, ooohhhh, blindfolded Ground Zero fanart just flickered through Izuku’s mind like a very quick Powerjoint presentation. So hot. Izuku would like that. Not that he had any problems being blindfolded for Kacchan.

 

“Hmm. That’s actually a good question.”Kacchan twisted his mouth in thought as he looked up at the ceiling, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees in contemplation. “I’ve only seen myself as the one doing the blindfolding so I’m not sure…”

 

Izuku was sweating . He didn’t know when he started perspiring but he was. Something about Kacchan putting a blindfold on him was making him excited. The fact that he was there, being his eyes, looking at Izuku all bare—all his. Izuku wanted to shudder.

 

But on another note, he hated how Kacchan was so casually nonchalant about this.  This was supposed to be embarrassing! It wasn’t fair!

 

“Takes a lot of trust for that.” Kacchan looked heavily at him after a pause. “Blindfolding, I mean.”

 

Oh, those smoldering eyes. Was Izuku imagining them? They were almost hypnotic that Izuku lost himself for a bit and whispered, “Like with collars.”

 

And the blonde man seemed to like that, as he smiled naughtily. Izuku recalled him saying “Good boy.”

 

“Yeah,” Kacchan said breathily, kind of drawn out. “Like with collars.”

 

Izuku swallowed hard. It took more effort than it should to inhale when he was making such heavy eye contact with Kacchan. He didn’t want to be the one to break it first.

 

“And collars are hot, too, if I’m to be honest.” Kacchan did that half-toothy smile and Izuku was so close to just lunging at his lips with a very hungry kiss. Except he didn’t have any prior kissing experience and was not keen on accidentally chomping him in the nose instead.

 

“I wouldn’t want to wear one…” Kacchan continued like he was on a mission to tug at Izuku’s sanity until he lost his mind. “...But I think it’s fucking hot to have someone wear one for me, you know?”

 

He would. Izuku would.

 

“The idea of owning someone.” Kacchan sighed, licking his lips and a little part of Izuku died. “I like that.”

 

Izuku would want that, too, but he couldn’t say that because the only thing he was capable of was another audible warm exhale.

 

“I mean… I’m pretty possessive, but...” Kacchan broke eye contact to look to his side and that threw Izuku off for a bit. But the blonde was quick to look at him again, not losing all that weight from his stare as he said. “But you already know that, don’t you?”

 

The sudden shift of his gaze took Izuku aback. He wasn’t prepared to have those eyes on him again so suddenly like that. He shivered.

 

“Don’t you?” Kacchan repeated. “...Deku?”

 

Oh, did he? What? Um, maybe? He didn’t know. He just knew he’d wear a collar for Kacchan if he asked. He’d wear a collar and a blindfold at the same time. Izuku didn’t know what response he had given. He just knew he made some sort of noise or movement. Whatever he did, Kacchan liked it. Or at least that’s what his red eyes were saying as he drew closer.

 

“Good boy.”

 

Izuku wondered what was happening but suddenly their foreheads were touching and he didn’t really care anymore. Kacchan kept smiling. Their proximity was making Izuku lose his self-control. The gap between their mouths had never been this small. He could practically feel Kacchan’s breath on his lips like it was singing for him to come closer. And, oh, Izuku wanted that.

 

“Are you going to make fun of me yet?”

 

Izuku’s lips parted as if to catch every word.

 

“Depends.” The entranced green-haired man replied, licking his lips, not knowing where else he was getting the sanity to speak. “You… You like nipple play?”

 

Kacchan scoffed softly.

 

“I said one kink.” He raised an eyebrow. Izuku was weak. “I’m being too generous, but yeah. Guess I’m into that, too. That good?”

 

“Mmmhm.” Izuku said, closing his eyes because he couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to kiss him. He was going to kiss him. He was going to— YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH!

 

“WAAAAAAAH!”

 

“FUUUUUUUCK!”

 

The two of them bounced away from each other like two magnets realizing they were of the same poles too late. Izuku sat on the futon, leaning on his palms. Kacchan was on the floor across the room, sitting awkwardly. Both of them were red in the face, breathing heavily, lower lip trembling and what, what, WHAT, WHAT!?

 

“Wh—” Izuku began, now only realizing how breathless he was. It was only then that he realized the sound of heavy electric guitar riffs filling his ears. The rain was also still thundering outside like an applause.

 

It was like waking up from a dream.

 

“Th-that’s mine.” Kacchan’s voice cracked as he swallowed hard. Izuku watched him stand up and take a deep breath to get the phone that he’d placed on Izuku’s desk. He looked at it for a while and took another deep breath probably for patience and answered the call. Suddenly, the guitar riffs were no more.

 

Who was it? Was it Smackbang? Kirishima? Tokoyami? The preschool teacher? Who!?

 

“Hello, mom?”

 

Oh. It was his mother. Izuku couldn’t even get angry. All he could do was sit there, gawking dumbly on the futon. Katsuki glanced at him briefly and Izuku didn’t really have the guts to look at him right now. He averted his gaze as soon as their eyes met, unaware that Kacchan did the same.

 

“Yeah, no, I’m—I was gonna—” Kacchan growled. Izuku could vaguely hear Bakugou Mitsuki berating him on the other line. Kacchan heavily scratched his head and went to the kitchen probably to get some space for this call. Izuku’s apartment was so small, however, so there was barely any privacy even if he wanted to give some to Kacchan.

 

Maybe he should go out into the hallway? He seriously didn’t have leg strength, though.

 

“Yeah, but I was running out of battery and—No, I’m at Deku’s and—Yeah, Deku. Midoriya. Yes. Yes , it’s Izuku! I—What? No! No, that’s not—Mom, no! MOM! MOM, LISTEN TO ME!”

 

Well, that sounded like a regular Bakugou mother-and-son conversation.

 

He said “Izuku”.

 

The green-haired man lay down on his side on the futon and smiled, leaving his childhood friend to deal with his mother.

 

I almost kissed him.

 

Izuku touched his lips.

 

It didn’t happen but it almost did, if Kacchan didn’t move. Izuku was a hundred percent sure he would’ve done it. The only issue was if Kacchan would’ve jerked away or not.

 

He was so warm.

 

Izuku closed his eyes, reminiscing how it felt being that close to Kacchan. He had never really gotten the chance to be with him like that and he wondered what that meant. What was going on in Kacchan’s head at the time? Was he also feeling nervous? Or excited? Did he feel the same? Even just a bit?

 

It was a nice thing to dream of, wasn’t it? Kacchan liking him back.

 

But what if he didn’t like Izuku after they kissed? What would happen then? There was no going back from there so wouldn’t it just be awkward? They’d have to avoid each other. They wouldn’t have sleepovers like this again. Kacchan would find some other person to love and Izuku would have to move on.

 

Now wasn’t that just sad?

 

“Sad…” Izuku mumbled. “Kacchan…”

 

He yawned once, blinked, closed his eyes again, and his thoughts drifted to sleep.

 


 

 

Izuku woke up to gentle fingers in his hair.

 

“Deku?”


He leaned into the touch.


“Deku, wake up.”

 

Izuku fluttered his eyelids open, brain still hazy as he focused on the blurry image of Kacchan amidst the darkness of his room. He was wearing his dark shirt and had this very calm look on his face. Izuku would very much wake up to this every morning.

 

The crickets were still chirping.

 

“Mmm? Kacchan?” Izuku rubbed his eyes, yawning. Kacchan was sitting on the edge of the mattress. Izuku did not process how he was waking up on his bed despite falling asleep on the futon last night.

 

“Wh-what time is it?” He motioned to push himself up but Kacchan gently pushed his shoulder down. Izuku didn’t struggle.

 

“Four in the morning. Don’t get up.” He whispered, his fingers leaving Izuku’s hair. “I have to go.”

 

That sentence made the sleepy man on the bed blink himself as awake as he could get himself. Did he say go ? Where was he going?

 

“G-go? Go where?” Izuku’s fingers gently held onto Kacchan’s leg. “I thought—”

 

Weren’t they going to HQ together? They were going to have breakfast, have a short morning routine for the first time, leave the house, and be on their way. There was spare gear in HQ. Kacchan could use that. It was still so early and Izuku was open to cuddling with him in bed. Why was Kacchan in a hurry to leave?

 

“I’ve got stuff to do at home every morning.” Kacchan slowly removed his fingers without glancing away from Izuku’s face. It was almost like he was going to disappear if he looked away. “Do runs and shit.”

 

Oh. That was... an acceptable reason.

 

“Muhh…” Izuku tried blinking himself awake again but he was too tired. “Okay. Gimme a sec. Let me see you out.”

 

Sleep , asshat.” Kacchan put a hand gently over his eyes. Warm. Very warm. Kacchan’s scent was soothing, Izuku realized.

 

“If the dark circles under your eyes get any worse, I’m going to end up punching you dead.”

 

The smile was obvious in his voice. Ah, he’d like to see that.

 

“Mmuuhhh… Don’t wanna get punched.” Izuku’s fingers came up to touch Kacchan’s but the man took back his hand. When Izuku looked, he was barely smiling anymore. Oh. Were his ears deceiving him? Izuku imagined him to be smiling wider than that, brighter than that, prettier than that.

 

“Right? Stay in bed.” Kacchan was still whispering and Izuku still didn’t know if he was imagining Kacchan’s smile or not. “Thanks for letting me stay overnight.”

 

His words somehow made heat stir in Izuku’s chest, almost making him want to cry. Maybe he was tired and sleepy. He wasn’t awake enough to understand.


“You’re welcome, Kacchan.”

 

“Mmm.” Was his only reply.

 

But Kacchan didn’t get up to leave and neither of them said anything. He just remained sitting on the edge of the bed, slightly leaning over Izuku who was lying there, unmoving.

 

This seemed okay, but not really. The air around them was tense but refreshing at the same time. It felt like a moment that both of them had been waiting to get to and only realizing everything now. Something was bound to happen, right?

 

Something should happen.

 

If they would make it happen.

 

Kiss me.

 

“I’ll make you lunch.” Kacchan murmured, his eyes somewhat shining in the dimness of the room. “I’ll leave it at the front desk.”

 

Kiss me good morning.

 

“Okay.” Izuku sighed, missing the hand in his hair. He took a deep breath, noting how the smell of nitroglycerin seemed to be sweeter than before.

 

Kiss me goodbye.

 

“Okay.” Kacchan took a deep breath, eyes lingering on Izuku’s face and Izuku meeting his gaze. He was waiting for something.


Something.

 

Anything.

 

But Kacchan stood up and there was nothing.

 

Kiss me before you go.

 

The bed shifted very slightly as he got up. The tips of Izuku’s fingers scratched the material of his pants. Still, neither said anything.

 

Kiss me or I’ll die.

 

Izuku turned his head as he watched Kacchan walk towards the door. His heart felt like it was going to stop and then burst. He was missing something. What was happening? This didn’t feel wrong but this didn’t feel right either. There was this strange need to call out to Kacchan, to say his name, to say something.

 

Something.

 

Anything.

 

But Kacchan stepped out of the door and there was nothing.

 

Kiss me, won’t you?

 

“Later, nerd.”

 

Kiss me. Don’t go.

 

“Take care, Kacchan.”

 

Please kiss me.

 

The door clicked closed.

 

I love you.

Chapter Text

Katsuki was breathless and drenched in sweat by the time he got home to his apartment.

 

“Fucking shit, I’m so grimy.” He growled as he switched on his lights and using his arm to wipe the sweat off his chin.

 

It was 5:45 AM. How it took him almost just two hours to get from Deku’s apartment to his, Katsuki wasn’t sure. But he was sure that the entire run wasn’t enough for him. He went with almost all his strength—running, jumping, leaping, firepower —going through all the different nooks and crannies for the shortest route—sidewalk, alleys, rooftops—not because he had to be home soon but because he had to pour his energy and attention onto something .

 

I almost kissed the dumb fuck.

 

Katsuki kicked his door closed behind him just loud enough to matter.

 

What was I thinking…!?

 

With a huff and a grunt, Katsuki started stripping from the living room as he stomped towards his bathroom, flinging his clothes as he went. He was going to pick them up later. It was more important for him to shower. Shower. He had to shower right now. He could smell Deku on him even though there was no reason for him to. It’s all in his head. The only reason he was thinking like this was because Deku’s entire apartment smelled like him. His clothes were even worse. Trying them all on made Katsuki sweat so much last night, he didn’t know what to do. Like hell he was getting the nerd’s scent on him, the goddamn idiot. For what ? For it to be distracting? Fuck no. Wearing those derpy clothes only gave Katsuki this false sense of connection, like doing this meant something . And if there was something Katsuki knew about Deku, it was that this meant nothing .

 

He was Kacchan , Midoriya Izuku’s childhood friend turned rival turned partner turned childhood-friend-but-now-an-adult. And, yeah, it was an okay title but fuck that shit .

 

Deku had always been like this. That. Like whatever the fuck he was supposed to be.

 

The crystal-like shower knob twisted with a loud squeak followed by a sudden torrential spray that Katsuki wished hit his skin harder. He needed to be slapped back to his senses. This madness was happening again. Why was this happening again and again!?

 

When Katsuki admitted to himself some five years ago that, yeah, he had the god damn hots for that totally un-hot nerd, he wasn’t sure what he had to do or what he wanted to do. He’d always thought of himself as confident and straightforward. Apparently, love does shitty things even to geniuses. His history with Deku didn’t make it easier.

 

The first few weeks of his discovery had been awkward. He had to give credit to his brain for this fuck up by deciding to pretend it was a moldy loaf everytime he tried to mull himself over his next course of action. One thing was for sure, though—risky confession was not on the table. As much as Katsuki would hate to admit, he was scared of rejection. If he confessed and the idiot did not feel the same, it would be fifty thousand levels of awkward hell. There was no going back. And Katsuki wasn’t ready for that. Probably never will be.

 

So if Deku didn’t like him, it would be better for Katsuki to just shut up about this and move on . That was the plan.

 

Five years. Five years and he still hadn’t budged . What was this move on shit that other people spoke of? Fucking urban legend .

 

And fuck anyone who said he didn’t try. He had been dropping little signs to fucking bombshells that could destroy most virgin asses but Deku, the absolute shit of a bean brain, either just wasn’t getting it or getting it and ignoring everything. And Katsuki was not sure how to deal with that. No matter what he did, Deku seemed to be ridiculously Deku . It was like trying to seduce a fucking lampost with a strap-on. He’d have more luck getting laid with a plant .

 

But then there were times like last night and this morning. Times when it looked like Deku cared , when he made Katsuki feel special in the kind of way that he dreamed of, when he got flustered, when he acted like he had the same feelings for him. There were more times than Katsuki could care to god damn count when he thought that this was it . Deku had feelings for him. He cared. He was interested, at least. Katsuki was going to confess. He was going to do it. And then just like that, as if smelling all of his intentions, Deku would start doing dumb shit like treating other people special, too. Or just suddenly decreasing contact with Katsuki like their honeymoon phase was over and just what the fuck ?

 

So Katsuki would be “Oh, okay, false alarm”. After which, he’d have to distance himself from Deku a bit, trying to regain some sense of proper thinking. It was difficult for him to deal with emotions going up and down so he needed space to cool down and deal with himself. It was never easy.

 

Time would pass. Deku would pull off some sort of sappy, cute, fluffy shit that reminded Katsuki that he had a god damn beating heart that was weak for this freckled nerd and excuse him? Fuck you, too? Who did he think he was to come and go as he fucking pleased?

 

What’s worse was that Katsuki knew Deku wasn’t doing this on purpose. Unfortunately, the moron was doing it only to him. Well, now, that would’ve made Katsuki feel special if only it wasn’t full of bullcrap. Deku would be fluffy and cutesy and then get comfortable and then fade. Repeat. It was like a seasonal thing for Deku to give him bursts of affection!

 

Winter. Spring. Summer. Fall in love all over again.

 

It was a ridiculous emotional cycle of one-sided pining bullshit!

 

Katsuki had gone from “considering” having a crush to acknowledging this fucking emotional contamination to “fuck it, I give up”. No matter what he did, Deku didn’t give consistent responses anyway so fuck that. Fuck reading the signs. Fuck everything. Katsuki was just going to do whatever. He was going to do what he wanted and care for Deku while being careful not to cross the thin line of shit-that-boyfriends-are-supposed-to-do.

 

Because they weren’t boyfriends.

 

And fuck that, too.

 

It’s been five years of this. Five. Excruciating. Years. Katsuki was supposed to be a fast learner. Why wasn’t he learning yet !?

 

Last night was particularly dangerous. It was the closest he’d ever been to actually experiencing even the slightest drop of intimacy with Deku. If his mom hadn’t called, he wouldn’t know what would’ve happened. Thank god for mothers knowing when to be, well, mothers. Except his mom was too excited that “Oh my fucking god, Katsuki, is it finally happening!?”

 

No, mom. It isn’t happening. It is never happening. Nothing is happening. Your beloved Izuku-kun is an idiot and your son or daughter-in-law is probably going to be a beaten up truck tire.

 

It’s not like he hadn’t tried to date other people either. He’d tried seeing a woman. When that didn’t work, he tried seeing a man. He went out with each of them a couple of times. Tried to kiss. Didn’t work. It gave him the creeps because all he could think of was how Deku wasn’t this tall, didn’t have this body build, didn’t twitch like this… And Deku would’ve done this. Deku would’ve done that—Deku, Deku, Deku , god damn it . Katsuki couldn’t even get his dick up. Fuck. Maybe he should just date a goddamn rock then at least one of them would be hard.

 

Katsuki lifted his face to meet the water. The cold spray was a nice contrast against his sweaty, heated skin. Behind closed eyes, he could see Deku on the bed, sleepy eyes blinking and gently reaching for him not to go. Katsuki almost didn’t want to leave, almost wanted to take Deku with him.

 

The urge to kiss him was too strong but Katsuki knew that if he gave in to that, there was no guarantee that everything would stop there. Not after five years of hunger. Most especially not after what happened that night.

 

It was all teasing at first, to be honest. Katsuki had been playing this dangerous game with himself for five years (because Deku was like those AI NPCs in games). But maybe he got too excited about the idea that Deku had porn everywhere that he got ahead of himself. It was wrong for him to draw that close when they were alone in a closed room that would definitely have no interruptions throughout the night. Deku was too near, too reachable, too vulnerable . His lips were so close, Katsuki could almost taste him.

 

Just one lick , he remembered thinking to himself, Let me have just one lick. Please .

 

Lick ? More like pry his mouth open and explore him with tongue.

 

Katsuki would’ve kissed him, devoured him, claimed him. and who knows what the fuck else if his phone didn’t save his life? And that would be the point of no return. If Deku didn’t have feelings for him, Katsuki would have to get facial surgery, change his name, and move to a new fucking country because he wouldn’t be able to survive having to deal with not having god damn Deku in his life as Bakugou Katsuki.

 

What was this lame-assery!?

 

So he just scrubbed himself, cleaned himself, figuratively ridding himself of last night’s events because he didn’t need vivid memories if he wanted to function right over the next few days. They were work colleagues . He didn’t need to have images from last night flashing through his head. Never mind that it was the first time he’d seen Deku wear such a sinfully interested expression over something so perverted. Like damn , boy. His eyes were smoldering with desire and if Katsuki didn’t know better, he’d think Deku actually wanted to try Katsuki’s kinks and… GOD. FUCKING. DAMN. IT. Great, now he was hard.

 

“Why are dicks such dicks!? ” Katsuki growled in frustration, trying to ignore the twitching between his legs as he finished washing his hair.

 

He wasn’t new to touching himself. He’d been doing so for years. And jacking off to Deku wasn’t new either. Five years of frustration had taught him to master the art of mastur-fucking-bation. Except yesterday, he had to rub one out—three, he did another when he saw Deku asleep on the futon and then again when he woke up—but, well, he had to touch himself in Deku’s bathroom and fuck . Thank heavens his cum wasn’t explosive or he’d have a gay ol’ time having to explain why he blasted through a bathroom wall.

 

And then there’s now .

 

Katsuki gasped and grumbled (he didn’t know how) as he reached down for his aching hardness. This was not what he was building stamina for but what the hell was he supposed to do? Go to work with a boner?

 

The first few strokes usually felt both relieving and awkward but today’s had him gasping “Deku” at first contact.

 

Oh, fuck, come on! How could he be this god damn barren so early in the morning?

 

But how could he not? Midoriya Izuku’s everything was still fresh in his mind that he could hear him say “Kacchan” with every stroke—his breath, his warmth, his touch, him . Last night, when their eyes locked with enough pressure to ignite heat in his stomach, Katsuki knew he had made the wrong call. He was suddenly so lost at the sight of Deku’s lips that he just kept talking, spilling much more than he had planned, more than he had bargained for, more than he was willing to. And It was probably just his imagination but Deku looked like he was willing to be blindfolded and collared by him and that was just… just…

 

“Deku…” Katsuki knees buckled a bit as he lost track of his thoughts, one hand bracing himself against the bathroom tiles.

 

“Kacchan.”

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck , he’d look good in a collar. He totally would. Katsuki already knew what kind he would want for him—a thick black leather one with orange stitches and a D-ring for when leashes were on the table.

 

“Ah…!” Katsuki stroked faster as images from last night came back to him except Deku was wearing nothing but his choice of collar, a tiny pair of red boxers, and a black open shirt falling off his shoulders, his skin flush, mouth open and panting, begging for more. He was sitting on the futon, legs apart, leaning back on one palm, and pushing down the waistband of his underwear with the other.

 

“Kacchan…”

 

Such a stupid fucking nickname that only had any meaning when it was Deku who was saying it.

 

“Kacchan, do you like nipple play…?”

 

Holy fucking hell.

 

Katsuki’s entire vocabulary of curses just shot through his head at that imaginary voice because the next thing he was seeing was Deku lying on the futon, marks all over his body, nipples wet and swollen from having been tasted and yet still wanting more because—”A-ahh! Ahh!”—Katsuki was coming, his hands and hips moving like they were owned by someone else. In his head, Deku came, too, back arching, hands gripping the sheets, eyes squeezed closed as he gasped his name breathlessly.

 

“Ka—ah-ah—hhhchhhnngghh…”

 

It was perfect.

 

Too bad it wasn’t real.

 

The entire room was steaming when Katsuki was done. God damn it, he didn’t even come that much so how was he reeling from coming too hard? It was just two white streaks or whatshit because his body wasn’t some cum factory for him to keep touching himself like this.

 

God fucking damn it, now he needed to wash again because he felt filthy .

 

It annoyed him. It annoyed him so much how he was the only one going through this cycle. He was the only one hot, bothered, horny, and suffering . Back then he used to glance at Deku’s crotch just to see if he had an erection or whatever but now he just didn’t give a fuck anymore. Deku could go fuck himself.

 

Or kinda.

 

Because he still made lunch for the nerd.

 

Katsuki brought the shiny blue lunch box with distinct All Might colors back home with him. He still didn’t know what manner of dumbness compelled him to buy it but at least he finally had some use for it. Not that he was looking forward to it. Okay, maybe . But not a lot.

 

A female news anchor was saying something about proposed educational reforms for Hero training as he moved around the kitchen. Katsuki glared at the tablet on the counter, grumbling as he made onigiri. He’d consider getting a small TV for his kitchen but it felt impractical.

 

Katsuki’s apartment was significantly bigger than Deku’s. It had proper divisions—a living room, a kitchen, a dining room, a bathroom, a bedroom, a connected bathroom, and even a balcony. His parents gave it to him as a gift when he officially started Hero work. He remembered his mom being particularly excited about the giant bed and “totally comfy mattress” they got him.

 

“It fits two people, Katsuki!” She announced happily like the neighbors needed to hear. “You can invite a friend over!”

 

God damn it, mom.

 

It came with an entire fucking wardrobe that made his father cry just before unveiling his closet.

 

“I mean, I know you’re all grown up now but...” He said, wiping his tears before blowing his nose. “There’s extra space if you need to add more clothes.”

 

“Or for when a friend comes over!” His mom chirped again. “Hopefully to live here ! With you! Eventually!”

 

Why , mom and dad?! Why!?

 

Katsuki was this close to saying he was going to live with Toto, his imaginary tiger sidekick from when he was four .

 

Ah, but that was then and this was now. Katsuki grumbled again, wondering if he should make three or four rice balls or if that would even fit . There’d be chicken nuggets, stir-fried vegetables, garlic mushrooms, fruit, and a hard boiled egg. Stupid moron needed nutrition. Katsuki would make tempura if he had the goddamn time to prepare. Stupid rain ruining his fucking life.

 

DING!—went his phone.

 

MIDORIYA IZUKU.

 

“Oh, fuck my life.” Katsuki grunted with a huff.

 

GOOD MORNING, KACCHAN~~~ :)

 

Well, fu—DING!

 

I saw the garden pea salad for breakfast! ^_^ Thank you! :3

 

Good, then. At lea—DING!

 

I have not Todoroki’d in vain! o(  >A<)/

 

This fucking dork just won’t let it—DING!

 

DEM PEAS! XD

 

It came with a photo of his cutesy nerdy face eating the god damn garden pea salad with carrots and corn and fuck everything to hell if Katsuki didn’t just make the most infatuated garbled noise of all time. He had to sit and stare at how he was smiling with pink puffy cheeks, making a face as he pointed to the salad he was eating and that was just—Kacchan put the phone down and groaned.

 

DING!

 

“What now!?” Katsuki yelled and grabbed his phone again.

 

BAKUGOU MITSUKI - ICE*

 

Nothing but a fucking naughty smiley face.

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

“WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK!?” Katsuki got up. What did it say about his life if his mother was sending him meme faces. He was just about to rage until his phone chimed again.

 

DING!

 

MIDORIYA IZUKU.

 

Last night was fun. o( ^ _ ^ )o Let’s do it again sometime? (:

 

Katsuki held his breath.

 

NO.

 

He wanted to, though. He wanted to have a sleepover again. They could have it at Deku’s again or here at his place where there was more food and a better kitchen.

 

And a “totally comfy mattress”.

 

But, no.

 

This entire thing was going to be the death of him. Deku and his suspiciously generous use of smileys was not going to fool him. He was going to stay the fuck away from Deku until everything resolved itself. Just like before. Otherwise, he was going to die or he was going to confess then die.

 

Whatever. Anyway, he had to reply to Deku.

 

What to say?

 

Dpnds on sched

 

SEND.

 

Katsuki sat back down and rested his head on the kitchen table.

 

Why would you entrust him to me , All Might? I’m clearly not cut for this.

 


 

 

Deku still hadn’t logged on when Katsuki arrived a quarter past seven. He knew because he asked when he left Deku’s lunch at the information counter. Argh. Katsuki wanted to text him to ask if anything was wrong and if he was on his way but that didn’t really go with the plan of avoid cute green fucker . So he just sent a text to let him know where his lunch was.

 

Lunch @ info desk

 

SEND.

 

Katsuki took a deep breath. Perhaps he should go to the cafeteria first? Grab crackers to munch on later if he needed it?

 

DING!

 

MIDORIYA IZUKU.

 

Yay, for Kacchan’s power lunch! \( ^ A ^ )/

 

What in the fuck is with him and these suspiciously adorable texts!? Katsuki shrugged and tucked his phone into the holder on his waistband before the cafeteria’s sliding doors opened for him. The buzz in the room was quick to irritate his ears, but Katsuki brushed it off by mentally reciting the multiplication table of nine to keep his mind off the anger. He turned his attention to the vending machine where there was a line of five people waiting for their turn.

 

“—and then Midoriya got swarmed by the fucking golems !”

 

Who got what by the fucking what !?

 

Katsuki whipped his head towards the direction of the voice. That was god damn Pikachu. Was he dumbed down again? Hadn’t he overcome that? Did someone overcharge his brain with lightning bolts?

 

Off to one side of the cafeteria and talking loudly were Kaminari and Kirishima, sitting across each other and having what seemed to be a big breakfast meal. Katsuki strained his ears to listen.

 

“How many were there?” Shitty Hair asked, eyes wide, obviously taken by the story-telling as he leaned forward.

 

“I can’t remember.” Pikachu shrugged, making a face as he pretended to think. “I don’t—Like thirty?”

 

Kirishima drew a deep breath of horror.

 

“Fuck.”

 

Wait, thirty golems ? Was that a code word for something? Because one would make the news and Katsuki didn’t see a shadow of it. And Midoriya Izuku fighting golems? Yeah, okay except no ? When was that? He would have told him.

 

Wouldn’t he?

 

“Yeah, man!” Kaminari shook his head and stuffed his mouth with corn. “I thought he was gonna fuckng die .”

 

Kirishima made a my-mouth-is-full noise before choking—the big red idiot—and chugging down a large drink while hitting his chest.

 

“Did…” Kirishima wiped his mouth with an arm as he blinked the tears away. “Did Bakugou save him?”

 

Save him ? Was it that dire ? Katsuki was getting confused. And irritated.

 

“No. Todoroki came in and swooped him like a prince.”

 

“Hey…!” Katsuki called without thinking twice because, er, why wasn’t this in the news ? His generic exclamation made several heads turn including Kaminari and Kirishima who immediately beamed as soon as they saw him marching towards them. Like children seeing their mother picking them up from school.

 

“Broooooooo!” Kirishima waved, not bothering to let go of his spoon so rice bits were flying all over the place and, oh, the fucking barbarism of it all.

 

“Ba—!” Kaminari began but cleared his throat and corrected himself. “Zero!”

 

Oh, right. Hero names .

 

“That’s Ground Zero.” Zero growled, eyeing the big breakfast trays they were having. Corn. Garlic rice with spam bits and green peas (these fuckers were everywhere). Scrambled eggs. Muffins. Thick burger patties with gravy. Hash browns. Half an apple each. At least five large paper cups of water and one small milk carton each.

 

Too much carbs. Deku’s lunch was still better. Zero felt better about himself.

 

“Mu mant mreakfast?” Red Riot gestured to his large tray. His cheeks were full like a hamster’s. Zero just grimaced .

 

“No, thanks.” Zero waved him off and Red Riot just shrugged before having a spoonful of garlic rice. “What the hell were you talking about?”

 

“Breakfast?” Red Riot asked again, big eyes looking up.

 

“I swear to god, I will blast a hole through your stupid kneecaps.” Zero rubbed his forehead before turning to Chargebolt. “Those golems you were talking about. When was that? It wasn’t on the news.”

 

“Oh, that—” Chargebolt began.

 

“Oooooh, that’s a fuckin’ party, bro !” Red Riot said again, slapping the small of Zero’s back, which almost earned him a boot to the fucking face. Chargebolt laughed.

 

“What the f—”

 

“You gotta sit! Sit!” Red Riot scooted to make space, dragging his tray across the table to take with him. “You gotta hear it sitting down, man, I tell ‘ya.”

 

Zero growled and grumbled but complied nonetheless. He had some time. He just hoped he wouldn’t come across Deku so soon. These fucking golems better be worth it.

 

“Okay, so—” Chargebolt took two gulps of water. “So Ashido found this thing they call fanfiction . It’s these fanmade stories where—” Zero immediately motioned to get up but Red Riot was quick to activate his Quirk and push him down by the shoulders.

 

“Get your fucking hands off of me.”

 

You’re the one that barged into our conversation so man up and listen .” Red Riot growled right back at him and this fucking fucker just—Red Riot nodded at Chargebolt.

 

“Keep goin’.”

 

Fuckers .

 

“Well, then. Again. ” Chargebolt waved his hand and slightly bowed like some highborn gentleman with gravy sauce lipstick. For the next five hundred years, he yapped about the concept of fanfiction and fandom, which Zero could not summon enough shits in his life to give. He did understand, however, that there was this story about their class as pro-Heroes and IcyHot being so awesome in the story, he probably had a magic cock that could fuck via Wi-Fi.

 

“Who’s writing it?” Zero frowned, shrugging off Red Riot’s heavy fingers that had not left his shoulders the entire explanation. He was pretty glad to be back to eating after that.

 

“Dunno.” Chargebolt shrugged, throwing an omelette strip into his mouth. “Some girl that goes by a pseudonym I don’t remem— Don’t tell Ashi—Don’t tell Pinky I said that .”

 

Zero grimaced again. Don’t tell Pinky what ? That he didn’t know who wrote it or that he knew the word pseudonym ? Fucking Pikachu.

 

“Oh, I think Mido—Deku’s reading it.” Chargebolt said, feeling his jacket for his phone. “I have the link if you want.”

 

Zero’s one eye twitched upon hearing the name.

 

“And why the fuck would I want a link to that?”

 

Chargebolt scoffed, rolled his eyes away, and made a face. That was enough for Zero to know what he was going to say next.

 

“Because your Deku’s reading—”

 

His Deku? Oh, fucking hell.

 

“HEY.”


It irked him. And like most things that irked him, he tried not to let it snap a nerve but his hand was already heavily slamming on the table before he knew it. The platters jumped, food and drink spilling a bit. The large empty paper cups fell over, rolling off the table and onto the floor with a quiet rattle against the surface like it was trying to run away as quietly as it could.

 

“He is not my Deku and I don’t want to hear anything about him, got it ?”

 

Years ago, Chargebolt would’ve flinched and fidgeted away from him so fast. But this felt like déjà vu to all three of them. Different details. Different dates. Same core reason.

 

“Ah.” Red Riot lowered his hand that was holding the spoon. “Again, huh?”


Zero clicked his tongue. Something bitter was at the back of his throat. He didn’t want to talk about this and he knew they would understand. He never told them about it but they somehow figured it out. Things were sometimes easier this way.

 

“Whatever.” He got up. “I’m leaving for patrol.”

 

“‘Kay.” Chargebolt nodded at him.

 

“Sure, bro.” Red Riot said.

 

DING!—went his phone.

 

MIDORIYA IZUKU

 

I got the lunch box! Thanks, Kacchan! :D

 

Zero gnashed his teeth. This was so difficult. He wasn’t going to—

 

Are you still at HQ? ^^

 

Fucking hell, he hated this season.

Chapter Text

Katsuki Bakugou was often regarded as brash and impulsive. If that were true, he’d have clicked away on the link that Kaminari Denki e-mailed him earlier today during work break. There was nothing but the link in the body of the message and the header only had today’s date . Lovely. Was it for time travel purposes? Fucking nutbag.

 

Now Katsuki wasn’t an idiot to assume that all links were safe. Who knew if the moron got clickbaited by a virus in his quest to find horny electrons online or whatshit? So Katsuki sent a reply, asking him about the nature of the link only to be receive nothing back . Okay, so he could ignore this link and assume that it was the goddamn story they were talking about earlier. But then again, who the fuck sends links via e-mail anymore unless it was some important shit? Katsuki grumbled to himself as he texted Kaminari only for his message to be seen and not replied to.

 

Great.

 

He waited an entire day. Nothing.

 

So Katsuki tried his next option when he got home—calling. Not because he cared what Pikachu wanted but because he was bugged by the possibility of this being an important thing that Kaminari just fucked up or whatever. And if by any chance this link was in any way useless , he was going to deplete Kaminari’s fucking life source so hard, he wasn’t going to reincarnate.

 

“Hel—”

 

“The fuck was that?” Katsuki asked as he sliced apples in his kitchen. His single bluetooth earpiece blinked on the side of his head.

 

“Why, yes, I’m fine! It’s so nice of you to ask!” Kaminari’s feigned high-pitched female laughter that just ticked Katsuki off even more.

 

“I will pika-pika your face , you fucking—”

 

He brought the knife down on the apple hard with a thunk .

 

“Well, the fuck is what ?” Kaminari replied, his breath sounding like he was walking. Katsuki could hear him making faces. “I don’t see what you’re looking at right now, my lord.”

 

“You e-mailed me a link , dirtbag.” Katsuki set aside the apples and started peeling bananas to work with next. “Who the hell even uses e-mails just to send a single fucking link anymore? Did you get shit on by a porn bot?”

 

“Your Honor, if that’s a trick question, it’s hot pornstars over porn bots any day and no shitting involved.”

 

Kaminari Denki. ” Katsuki was seriously going to stab Kaminari’s voice right now if given the chance.

 

“It’s the story I was telling you about this morning.” Kaminari dared to be the one to sound exasperated in this story. Katsuki imagined the banana was the idiot’s head.

 

“I told you I didn’t want it .”

 

“Then don’t click it! Geez! ” It was annoying how his eye roll could be heard in his voice. “I just sent it to you in case you changed your mind.”

 

“Via e-mail ?”

 

“Well, it’s easier to search in e-mails than in text message threads.”

 

Katsuki grumbled. This fucking liar. They just wanted him to read this shit. Sending anything via e-mail would look more work-related, which had a better chance of getting clicked. Unfortunately, Kaminari and Kirishima—the only people who had an idea of Katsuki’s Deku season dilemma—weren’t smart enough to compose an e-mail body that was professional and believable enough to outwit him.

 

“So if you ever wanna, I don’t know, get your mind off things …” Kaminari stretched before Katsuki heard the sound of the TV in the background. “...Some outrageously gorgeous people you call friends have provided you with an option!”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Well, my sex life is pretty healthy, concerned citizen! Thank you for asking, but I digress.” Kaminari was lucky this conversation was not happening face-to-face or it would’ve escalated to foot-to-face real quick. “But, yeah, whether you read the thing or don’t read the thing? Up to you, man.”

 

He made a noise and Katsuki opened his mouth to insult him or whatever but the electric dildo spoke first.

 

“Just remember. The rule is: Don’t like? Don’t read. Anything else, you filthy casual?”

 

What in the sweet fuck was a filthy casual ?!

 

“I will end you .” Katsuki threw the fruits into his juicer and then went to grab carrots. These things never really tasted awesome but they were really healthy and Katsuki knew that would help him in the long run.

 

“Awww. You’re too sweet, baby. I bet you tell that to everybo—”

 

CLICK.

 

Kaminari Denki was clearly asking for his death. Katsuki had to end the call before any more of his own brain cells died from all the stupid yapping.

 

DING!


Just before he could turn on his juicer, his phone chimed in his ear. Katsuki took a deep breath. That was just Deku. He’d been texting a lot today. More than he’d ever texted him before. Ever . And while all his cutesy smileys were making Katsuki’s face feel warm, it would be much better if the cycle just ended really early. Sure, they usually lasted for weeks or a month or two but just a few days of this season was torture. Deku was on another level of sappy all of a sudden and Katsuki wasn’t ready to face him again after last night.

 

He’d done his best to avoid him the entire day. When he asked via text whether Katsuki was still in the building, he left without replying. He didn’t reply either when Deku texted him that he was about to head out on patrol. Lunch was the most difficult, though. He received pictures of the lunch and Deku’s excited face. He was on the water tank with the wind in his hair.

 

Deku was so pretty.

 

Katsuki wanted so much to reply with pictures of his own but if he catered to any more of this, he was going to end up hurting twice fold. The logical course of action was to move on. But Katsuki wasn’t the kind of person who gave up or did things half-assedly.

 

And All Might told him to take care of Deku.

 

“This is the last thing I will ever ask of you.”

 

Stupid All Might. He’d have done it even if no one asked him to. Being there for Deku both as an equal and as a rival, in his own way, was something Katsuki had become accustomed to. Falling in love was optional. Falling this hard was Katsuki’s fault. It was probably karma for all that he did to Deku before.

 

So Katsuki let his phone sit on his kitchen counter, listening to its alerts, one after the other. It wasn’t a lot of messages. Deku stopped after around three or four, he wasn’t sure. With every chime, he could imagine it was Deku going “Kacchan!”, but Katsuki did his best to be more focused on dinner and his health regimen for the evening.

 

He wasn’t sure how long it had been when he picked up his phone.

 

You have messages on LINE.

 

Katsuki took a deep breath. Yeah, he knew who it was.

 

MIDORIYA IZUKU.

 

See? Not even surprised.

 

wyd? (:

 

Katsuki had some qualms about that acronym because although it was supposed to be “What you doing?”, it could also be “Where’s your dick?” And while there were no situations in which asking the latter was applicable, just knowing that the possibility existed still irked him .

 

What are you doing? :)

 

“I know what it means, nerd.” Katsuki grumbled as he sipped his ginger tea. “I intentionally didn’t reply. Why are you so stupid?”

 

I’m being a responsible adult tonight just like you wanted. (> . <)  

 

What? Katsuki could not properly come to terms with the phrase “just like you wanted”. It almost felt like Deku was doing something to make Katsuki happy in a way that Katsuki dreamed of.

 

But no. Five years of this had taught him that this was Deku being Deku. He was that guy who was just so fucking sunny despite being green. He wanted everyone to be happy.

 

I cooked for myself! \(>A<)/

 

Attached was a picture of a horribly plated pork cutlet bowl. It had what looked like a scrambled egg and—

 

“Green fucking peas .” Katsuki wanted to punch his phone so bad.

 

It’s katsudon! I call iiiiiiit theeeee~~~~~

 

Katsuki imagined a drumroll as he scrolled.

 

/( ^ A ^ )/ KA

 

\( ^ A ^ )\ TSU

 

“...Ki?” Katsuki didn’t know why he tried to finish that audibly but, hey, a man could… wish?

 

/( ^ A ^ )/ DE

 

\( ^ A ^ )\ KU

 

“Katsufricken—”

 

Yeah, okay, stupid dancing emojis aside, it was— It’s—

 

“Jesus. Shit. I gotta sit down.”

 

The kitchen stool was right there but Katsuki took his phone and padded to the bedroom.

 

“The fucking moron named it Katsudeku .” He mumbled as he opened the door, not even bothering to switch the lights on and just proceeded to fall face first on the large mattress because it was dumb. Everything was dumb. Deku. Katsuki. Katsudon. Green Peas. Life .

 

Yes, it was a cringey name.

 

Yes, it wasn’t anything special.

 

Yes, it was highly likely that it’s called that because it’s “Katsudon by Deku”.

 

Katsuki took a deep breath and grabbed a pillow so he could yell into it.

 

“EXCEPT IT SOUNDS LIKE KATSUKI AND DEKU, YOU DUMB FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

 

And that just made Katsuki want to hurl himself out the fucking window so he could fly to the goddamn piece of shit because he wanted that . That pork cutlet bowl was probably less tasty than whatever Katsuki could cook—the breading might come apart, the egg might be bland, the peas might be hard, the rice might be undercooked—but it sounded like something-anything them and Katsuki… Katsuki would fucking burn cities down for that.

 

He was tired. He was so tired.

 

Without moving from how he was lying on his stomach, Katsuki’s fingers reached for the phone that found itself tucked between the matress and the pillow.

 

There was a second picture. It was Deku. He was all sparkly and wide-eyed, smiling ear-to-ear, and doing a goddamn peace sign like he was expecting to be praised and Katsuki couldn’t breathe.

 

Are you proud of me? :3

 

“Ngh.” Katsuki bit his lip.

 

God fucking damn it, yes , you nerdy clump of broccoli. But maybe make the eggs fluffier. Add spring onions. How was the dipping sauce made? A side of miso soup would be nice, too. And some fruit for dessert?

 

Let’s make it together and call it KatsuDeku.

 

“FUUUUUUCK!” Katsuki threw his phone on the bed as he sat up. It bounced on the mattress, landing not far away from Katsuki.

 

It hurts. This fucking feels so good but it hurts because it’s not real .

 

Argh, he hated this . He hated this so much . His face was hot. His knees were weak. His fingers were trembling. His heart was threatening to explode. His mind was in shambles. And if he was going to start crying now, Katsuki would literally go outside and run until sunrise.

 

DING!

 

“God damn it…!” Katsuki groaned as he reached for his phone. That better be someone else. Shitty hair. Dunceface. Half-and-half. Mineta. The Prime Minister. Hello Kitty. Hades .

 

Anyone else but Deku.

 

MIDORIYA IZUKU.

 

Katsuki closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he opened LINE. He hadn’t read the new message yet but seeing Deku’s smiling picture again was enough to send his emotional engines revving.

 

“Rrrghhh, I want to kill you .” He growled uselessly with gnashed teeth at the picture on his phone, gripping it tightly with trembling fingers because why was Deku sending him selfies and pictures of things he wasn’t supposed to care about? What was with this season being so intense? Deku was so soft and fluffy and radiant like he was doing this on purpose to make Katsuki feel things .


And he didn’t want to feel things because they hurt. But he couldn’t stop caring either. And that hurt, too.

 

“I hate you.” Katsuki murmured—angry, confused, frustrated, lonely— and Deku’s happy face just continued to beam sunlight at him. “I hate you and your dipshit face. I hate you and your nerdy smile of pain . I hate you and your fucking clueless freckles from hell . I hate you.

 

And it was all so tiring. Katsuki closed his eyes and pressed the screen to his forehead.

 

“I love you so much, you idiot. I don’t know what to do.”

 

He gave himself time to recollect his senses before he scrolled a bit for the latest message.

 

Kacchan? Is everything all right? :(

 

Katsuki read that in his voice, saw his sad face expecting for a reply. Big eyes. Pouty lips. Head tilted.

 

How could he not reply?

 

“I FUCKING HATE THIS!” Katsuki screamed as he typed a response angrily, going against his resolve of ending this cycle quickly from his end.

 

Just saw this. Good job for a nerd.

 

SEND.

 

It only took seconds for his phone to chime again. Katsuki wanted to think Deku was actually eagerly waiting for his reply.

 

Nah, he probably just had his phone in his hand already.

 

YUUUUSSS! :3 THANK YOU, KACCHAN <3

 

This fucking nerd . His texts felt so painfully sweet. Kasuki wanted to punch something to cope with all the feelings these messages caused him.

 

“Don’t send me emojis, you dense fuck.” Katsuki whispered. “That’s not the heart I want.”

 


 

 

It was almost ten in the evening. Katsuki was in bed but his eyes were still peeled. This was just one of the many things he hated about Deku’s seasonal fluff cycles. It kept him awake at night. And that was so shit because he had to be at HQ at seven in the morning.

 

Why can’t this be over yet?

 

It was a quarter past ten when he began to give up on sleep. Katsuki grabbed his phone with the intention of finding something to bore him to death. Maybe he could wake up when Deku’s vicious cycle ends .

 

Ah, his e-mail app was open in the background.

 

Katsuki’s eyes lingered at the link in the body of the e-mail that was still open on his screen.

 

“So if you ever wanna, I don’t know, get your mind off things …”

 

“Stupid Kaminari.” Katsuki clicked his tongue.


Well, this was stupid but he was bored and out of his goddamn mind anyway so fuck it .

 


 

 

Katsuki was wrong. This story may be bad in certain aspects but it had successfully rid him of boredom and gave him something else to spew venom at.

 

Todoroki Shouto could eat an old fucking boot .

 

“Don’t you fucking touch me , you fractional bitch.” Katsuki glared at the screen as he read about IcyHot trying to apply the shittiest first aid description he had ever read about. The prince of this world and beyond was ripping Ground Zero’s clothes off to see if he was “hurt anywhere else”. And he was using a pretty ice shard. While snow was falling around them . Because the cold would help numb the pain .

 

Too fucking extra . Katsuki would kill him with his knees just for the snowflake shit.

 

See, this ridiculous story was set in the magical world of everybody-wanna-fuck-IcyHot. Because, of course, that was what’s going to happen ten years into the future. Everything that was happening in society was just Endeavor’s ploy to breed his son and make more Half-and-half-lings to form a red and white chess board or some shit. There were beings from another dimension who were coming to this world to harvest people and their Quirks to use as a source of power. Katsuki was willing to bet that the plot twist would be that they were all here to fuck IcyHot. That or the universe was going to change to revolve around his balls—one red, one white. ‘Coz why not?

 

So after a few chapters of not enough IcyHot , Katsuki finally got to read about himself towards the end of chapter five. Apparently, he and his Quirk were important enough for the enemy to send their stronger officers to harvest him, which was quite accurate. He was awesome. At least the author got that right.

 

Until he was described to be fighting like a reckless fighting baboon with an exploding butt. He just literally blew up everything while cackling like a maniac. And then he got overpowered so he had to “unleash the big one” , whatever the fuck that meant. Next thing he knew, Ground Zero was flying from the impact of his own explosion—”First of all, fuck you.”—his arm broken—”Oh, great. ”—and bounced off a random building wreckage before being caught by the magnificent arms of the god of defrosting peas.

 

There was some drama of them saying each other’s names like they were about to fucking kiss in the next sentence. And then Zero went “I think I broke my neck” and Half-and-half went “I see. Let me check for injuries.” So, then, Katsuki went “Fuck the both of you.”

 

And then, with full drama in mind, just as Ground Zero said “Thank you, Ic—”, he lost consciousness. While being carried by IcyHot. Bridal style.

 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

 

As if that wasn’t enough, god damn IcyHot took Zero to some sort of underground ruin or shit so they could hide —”Did you fucking call for back up yet?”—before he ripped Zero’s shirt off—”With an ice shard!? ”—and “checked for injuries”—”STOP FEELING MY CHEST.”—among other things. There was so much unnecessary touching. Katsuki wanted to sue someone. Todoroki Shouto took first aid very seriously and would sooner name himself Endeavor 2.0 before he carelessly moved a person whose neck could be broken.

 

“Get me medical attention, you fucking wuss !” Katsuki hissed as he looked up at his phone in one hand and hit the mattress over and over with the other. “Take me to a goddamn hospital or call or medical support before I castrate you!”

 

This serious lack if not total disregard of protocol would send Iida Tenya into cardiac arrest.

 

Although Katsuki had a ton of complaints about this fan-written story, he somehow understood what made it appealing to Pikachu and the others. First of all, it was about them . Or, more accurately, about Todoroki Shouto and them. The constant IcyHot pandering was probably attractive to other readers because of how popular he was but to those who actually knew him , it was just a mix of annoying, ridiculous, and everything that Todoroki Shouto was not to the point that it was actually interesting .

 

Katsuki appreciated that he was an important part of the story. He and his Quirk were both valuable and threatening. Its most recent update, chapter seven, ended with them deciding to search for “a person with a time-reversing Quirk” to heal Zero’s arm. His explosions could kill a lot of the enemy for good , it seemed, and it worked very well with IcyHot’s fire usage. Both of them were needed for the “final battle”.

 

Fire usage my ass. Author’s probably going to turn me into an exploding steed for Todoroki to ride into battle.

 

And speaking of fire usage, holy fuck, why was IcyHot so god damn glamorous with everything? He had ice roses, ice wolves, an ice sword, fire birds, fire whips, a fire sword, and fucking firefly embers among other things that Katsuki really wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up with an ice castle for a hideout.

 

Katsuki wondered if Todoroki had read this madness yet.

 

“Your Deku is reading it.”

 

He isn’t my Deku.

 

“Fuck you, Chargebutt.” Katsuki mumbled.

 

Deku was barely relevant in the story. Sure, he was cool when he fought the golems but he was more of IcyHot’s sidekick if anything. The way he saved Deku from the golems was far too showy and prince-like. What was with him carrying everyone bridal style?

 

It was eleven when Katsuki finished reading. His eyes were still wide open but at least for a different reason.

 

As much as Katsuki hated to admit, reading that ridiculous fictional piece made him feel better. He was still feeling a bit empty, but at least his brain wasn’t focused on starting a nuclear war on his emotions. Maybe he should insult Kaminari less next time as a form of thanks.

 

Seeing as he wasn’t going to dreamland anytime soon, Katsuki figured he could browse around for more stories. Something with him in it.

 

Katsuki made a contemplative noise as he looked around the site before diving into anything.

 

There seemed to be a tagging system and a searching feature, both of which could be used to find stories within a specified criteria. There was a specific section for Heroes, whose character list could be viewed as one big clusterfuck of who-the-hell-is-that-anymore or sorted by generation. Viewing stories that involved cross-generation was also an option. Well, this seemed to be organized. Katsuki mentally gave the site a pat on the back.

 

There were also other options such as language, ratings, and relationships.

 

“Relationships?” Katsuki frowned. That word could mean many things but he was not an idiot. Fans could be rabid sometimes. Showbiz celebrity fans in particular had this cult-like system of rooting for this person to marry or fuck that other person because they looked cute together or some shit. Katsuki forgot what they were called. Pairings? Matches? Couples? Clicks? Whatever.

 

On the other hand, Heroes were basically like showbiz celebrities (although the Alliance had been trying to tone this down). Katsuki wouldn’t be surprised if some of their fans did the same about pairing Heroes with one another albeit in a quieter way than mainstream showbiz fans.

 

Katsuki braced himself. He hoped that “relationship” didn’t mean “romantic” because that was the last thing he wa— ICYHOT/GROUND ZERO .

 

The fuck!?

 

Well, that better be a fucking partnership because why was it on the top of the relationship list for their generation? And why was there a number that’s almost four thousand that’s next to it?

 

Next to that was IcyHot/Deku.

 

Katsuki could feel a nerve pop.

 

This better be a fucking partnership thing.

 

Third was IcyHot/IcyHot .

 

Well, fuck. IcyHot and another IcyHot? What was that? Pandemonium? A homunculus? Endeavor discovering the wonders of cloning? Fourth entry had better be something like IcyHot and the Prisoner of Sasskaban or Katsuki would be fuckin disappointed.

 

Ground Zero/Deku.

 

Well, fuck , indeed.

 

Katsuki’s heart stopped . Now he wasn’t sure if he wanted this to be a partnership thing anymore.

 

Hoo boy. He was getting himself into some weird shit . All of his instincts were screaming for him to get out. Get out of the site. Put the phone down. Go to bed. This was a bad idea.

 

Why, though? This was a fucking website for stories . Was a fanfiction zombie going to crawl out of his phone to drag him into the depths of hell and darkness? How bad could it be?

 

So should he check? But what if Ground Zero/Deku meant romance? Wait, did that mean people wanted them to be together? Romantically? Katsuki’s heart picked up because allies .

 

But, wait, what if it wasn’t? Maybe he should check what the top option was first just so he didn’t get reminded of Deku’s seasonal affection? Fuck, well what if IcyHot/Ground Zero was a romantic relationship category, was he ever going to be the same person if he ended up reading about himself sharing ice sherbets and milk shakes via heart-shaped straws with god damn Todoroki Shouto?

 

Hmm.

 

Were there others?

 

Katsuki made a quick scroll just to see options that didn’t involve him and Deku but, wait. Wait. What was the difference of Ground Zero/Deku and Ground Zero & Deku ?

 

He chewed on his lower lip as he looked up at his phone. Decisions, decisions.

 

Hmm.

 

Well, a slash could sometimes mean “and” but it could also mean “or”. An ampersand meant a pair. So the ampersand was probably the romantic one.

 

Yeah?

 

Yeah.

 

Ground Zero/Deku it was then. Set that shit to Explicit because Katsuki was in for all the gore and violence of the world.

 

The page loaded. Katsuki wasn’t sure what he was expecting.

 

The first entry was entitled Plaything. Huh? That was a strange title. What was it about? Someone getting beaten up so bad that they turned into a ragdoll? Katsuki moved over to the summary because maybe that made more sense.

 

Ground Zero and Deku have been partners for as long as they can remember, in more ways than one would care to count.


The fuck did that even me—TAGS: blindfolds, collars, nipple pl— ”OW!”

 

Katsuki literally dropped the phone on his face and god damn it ! That hurt !

 

“Fucking hell ! I think my nose is fucking broken!” He winced as he rolled to his side. A voice in his head went, “I see. Let me check for injuries.”

 

God damn it! First, the peas! Now this !? Was Todoroki Shouto going to take over everything !? Katsuki wanted to punch Endeavor just for that.

 

But did he…. Did he read that right? Did it say blindfolds ? And then collars ? And then… Hell, no .

 

When Katsuki found his phone again, the apps had all been minimized but thankfully not closed. Opening his browser, the page had scrolled down a little but that was fine. It was just a small matter of going up to the top of the list.

 

Plaything.

 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

 

That title made a lot of damn sense now. Katsuki swallowed hard. It felt like entering the den of an unknown monster. Why were his instincts reacting like this?

 

His mind was screaming for him to stop. Stop. Stop. STOP!

 

But blindfolds, collars, nipple pl— TAP!


FUCK YOU, SATAN .

Chapter Text

This story was going to ignite the holy bejeezus out of Katsuki’s soul. He was going to hell and Satan would have nothing more to burn.

 

And this was only chapter three.

 

 


 

This wasn’t the first time they were alone in a dark room together. This was, however, the first time that Izuku was sitting in the middle of a large bed wearing nothing but an oversized black button-up shirt—Zero’s, no, Katsuki’s black button-up shirt—and nothing underneath. Sitting in front of him was the owner of his shirt and this room. Katsuki was wearing nothing but black boxers, and staring at Izuku with smoldering red eyes. Izuku didn’t know where to look. He was thankful that the room was dark save for the moonlight spilling from the window or his vulnerability would’ve been too obvious. Not that the man in front of him didn’t know. He started too intently. Izuku felt so conscious and already so turned on.

 

“Tell me...:” Katsuki whispered, his fingers drawing a pattern on the sheets, tracing around Izuku’s folded knees as his eyes greedily trailed down Izuku’s body without any effort to be discreet. “What can I do to you?”

 

This was it. They were having “the talk”. He wondered if they really had to be almost naked, though?

 

“A-An…” Izuku cleared his throat. His voice wasn’t coming out right. “A-anything…?”

 

Katsuki looked back up at Izuku’s face briefly before falling again to look at the exposed skin of his legs.

 

The blonde man was unusually calm and levelled. Izuku’s heart raced.

 

“Let me rephrase the question...” Katsuki said, his voice not at all booming or threatening, so unlike the Ground Zero that most people knew. It sent shivers across Izuku’s skin.

 

“What is it that you want?”

 

He raised a hand, motioning to touch Izuku on the arm but drawing back before he could. Izuku swallowed hard. Was he hesitant or teasing?

 

“What is it that you want me to do to you?”

 

If he was asking for specifics, Izuku wouldn’t have an answer. He wanted Katsuki to do so many things to him, things he knew he wanted and things he had yet to find out. He wanted to see Katsuki’s pleasured face again, that expression Izuku hadn’t seen before—eyes half-lidded, clouded with desire, looking only at him with a beautiful smirk that made Izuku weak. The memory of that face was still fresh just like the marks and bruises that Katsuki had left on his skin.

 

How was Izuku going to say he wanted Katsuki to do things that would let him wear that expression again?

 

“Deku.” Katsuki whispered, breath hot and hypnotic. “Izuku.”

 

Ah, was he getting impatient? It didn’t seem like it, though. Katsuki’s eyes felt like a predator’s though, just waiting for the right time to strike.

 

Izuku loved that. He’d like to drown in that—be consumed and devoured and—

 

“—Enjoyed.” He finished his thoughts and Katsuki made a sound as if to ask him to repeat.

 

“I… I want…” Izuku’s heart was starting to pound heavier as he stared right back into those crimson eyes that he wanted to belong to. “I want Katsuki to enjoy me.”

 

And that seemed to please his… What was Katsuki to him?

 

“How…?” The blonde man whispered, half-smiling.

“I… I…” Izuku tried to find the right words. Something precise. He wanted Katsuki to be all over him just like last time. Touching, biting, kissing, pinching, licking everywhere. Ohhh, the way he was bent over yesterday, palms on the wall, and Zero behind him. There was tongue and breath on Izuku’s hear, a hand on his nipple, another hand on his dick, and most of all, a dick in his ass.

 

Katsuki’s dick in his ass.

 

 


 

Real life Katsuki was having an internal crisis. Good lord, where was a Deku who thought like this and why wasn’t he living in the same universe as Katsuki?

 

 


 

Like a demon tempting a mortal, the blonde leaned forward, careful not to touch Izuku as he whispered into his ear.

 

“How, Izuku…?”

 

His breath was warm but Izuku longed for contact. Much more contact.

 

“How do you want me to enjoy you...?”

 

Lick me. Izuku wanted to say. Touch me. Kiss me. Bite me. Enjoy me.

 

“Play with me.” He gasped back and for a split second, he felt Katsuki tense like he wasn’t expecting that. But that was the moment that Izuku knew he had the right answer.

 

“I want you to play with me.”

 

Katsuki drew back slowly, studying his face as if to check if he meant it and he did. He truly did. It felt better having an answer that actually expressed what he wanted.

 

“I want to be your plaything.” Izuku looked right back at him, leaning forward to chase the beautiful blonde man because he knew what he wanted now. And he wanted Katsuki to know.

 

“Play with me, Katsuki.”

 

 


 

“Hoooooooooly—”

 

No man had probably ever made such a god-awful wheeze in on this planet. The inhale Katsuki drew as soon as he read that last sentence was so sharp, he just might have sucked the entire damn ozone layer into his lungs.

 

Play with me, Katsuki.

 

Fuck, if Deku said that to him in that context in real life, he’d probably lose his shit and fuck him right on the spot because god damn it. There was more than just playing to be done. He wouldn’t know where to touch first but he was sure as hell that he’d be ripping clothes off like a madman. Katsuki never thought he needed Deku to say something like that until he read this shit.

 

But, no. The closest Deku would ever get to saying that to Katsuki was probably for the sake of a god damn console game.

 

Play with me, Kacchan?

 

...dressed in All-Might pajamas while holding up a controller coz the universe was cruel.

 

Katsuki ran a hand down his face.

 

Even with the knowledge of him having porn, Katsuki still saw Deku as so fucking innocent and pure. Where was the writer getting this idea of horny, debauched, and submissive Deku? And what the hell was Katsuki doing reading this sinful story?

 

When Katsuki started with this fic, he was wearing a loose tank top and a pair of shorts. Three chapters in had him down to his goddamn underwear because his body temperature had skyrocketed to the moon. He was pretty sure he was going to end up touching himself but he’d made a firm decision to do it after reading, not during. ‘Coz who did that? Jacking off to literature? What?

 

The first chapter was fairly simple. It started with Ground Zero and Deku arguing as they returned to HQ late into the night after filing reports and giving statements from a bank robbery gone awry. The criminals were caught and no one died but some people got injured. It wasn’t clear whose fault was it but Zero was yelling expletives and Deku was trying to calm him down. It eventually escalated into an argument that had Zero shoving Deku up the wall. The smaller green-haired Hero was still trying to reason with him—”What can I do to help you calm down!?”—which Zero responded to by clamping their mouths together.

 

Katsuki’s eyebrows knotted themselves.

 

He could fucking never.

 

Oh, and Ground Zero didn’t start slow. He went in there with tongue right off the bat and Katsuki was… Katsuki wasn’t sure if even he was brave enough for that.

 

Story Deku, on the other hand, was one to respond in kind. So he ended up engaging this tongue activity while pulling at Zero’s hair. In no time, they were pulling at each other’s clothes and then fucking naked—naked, god damn it—against the lockers as Katsuki wondered why the fuck Iida hadn’t barged in yet to yell at them about protocols and dress code.

 

They were banging so hard and good against the locker, Katsuki wished he was fictional.

 

The second chapter was set a couple of days later. Deku was being horny and awkward at work due to the events from chapter one. Zero was equivalent to horny raised to the power of lust. Katsuki wanted to file a complaint ticket because why the fuck was he the horny one here? Did anyone ask for his opinion? No? Why,then?

 

So at the end of the day, Zero and Deku ended up fucking again. They were at Deku’s house this tim and that had Katsuki reliving flashbacks of last night. Not helpful.

 

Fictional Deku’s house was larger and had proper divisions. Zero had him five times that night—up against the kitchen wall (“You make food in there!”), on the living room floor (“Seriously?”), on the couch (“People sit there, god damn it.”), on the goddamn coffee table (“Fucking sanitary.”), and finally in the bedroom  (“Why bother!?”). That did not include blow jobs and hand jobs that were too intense to be even considered foreplay anymore.

 

Okay, then. This fictional Zero was a fucking champion. How the fuck was he this smooth? Katsuki hadn’t even held Midoriya Izuku’s hand and this dude was fucking like a jackhammer on a mission. And how were they even alive the next day? If he masturbated that much, he’d be jizzing his life force away.

 

And there was cum everywhere. How much semen could a man squirt out in a day!? It god damn splashed on Deku’s face! Katsuki had to reread if that was white alien pee or something because a single orgasm wasn’t supposed to be anywhere close to irrigation, god damn it.

 

This author needed to understand how the human body worked!

 

But, still, it was hot. Katsuki could forgive all these inaccuracies in favor of reading this smutty story from Deku’s point of view. His internalization of how he saw Zero as a fricken sex god was insane. The way he looked at his arms, his shoulders, his chest, his legs, his thighs—everything seemed to be attractive to him. And Katsuki was so turned on by all that praise that his boner was considering fucking his phone.

 

What he’d give for the real Deku to think of him like that! Something beyond “Kacchan is amazing” to “Kacchan is amazing” with moans and orgasms.

 

Or holding hands.


Even just holding hands!

 

Just give him something to work with!

 

And that was how Katsuki got to chapter three. They finally got to discuss the dynamics of this… relationship. Because Deku was clearly thirsting for Zero himself, not just his cock.

 

Great. Fuck first. Talk later. But, hey, if Katsuki wanted accuracy and total realism, he’d watch a documentary.

 

This shit wasn’t explicit. This shit was nasty as fuck. And Katsuki was all for it.

 

 


 

The blindfold rid him of sight but significantly amplified his awareness.

 

It was amazing.

 

“A-ah!” Izuku arched forward, leaning into Katsuki’s mouth that taken one nipple into its wonderful wetness and heat. He tipped his head back, trying to cope with the heightened sensations attacking his body.

 

“Ummph…! Ah!”

 

Izuku’s dark shirt had fallen off and bunched around his elbows as he knelt on the bed, hands gripping Katsuki by the shoulders as the man relentlessly attacked his nipples with his mouth and fingers. He wasn’t touching anywhere else but it already felt too much with how all of Izuku’s focus was concentrated on everything about Katsuki—how his mouth sucked, how his tongue licked, how his fingers pinched and twisted, how his hands caressed. Katsuki’s body heat was magic and enthralling, captivating Izuku in manners he didn’t think possible. It was amazing how the temporary lack of eyesight allowed him to appreciate these little things even better.

 

A hand gently rested on Izuku’s hip bone, thumb gently brushing across sensitive skin.

 

“K-Katsuki...!” Izuku gasped, legs quivering. He could feel his cock dripping as Katsuki’s hand started crawling towards his crotch. Izuku jerked forward involuntarily, the head of his cock brushing against what he thought was Katsuki’s face. His imaginative mind fed him images of his pre-cum smeared across the man’s cheek, just near the corner of his lip.

 

There was a low growl from the blonde.

 

“I-I’m sorry…” Izuku said again, his voice trembling with his legs. “It… It’s just…”

 

Katsuki’s warmth slowly moved away. Ah. Wait!

 

No. No, come back!

 

Lick me some more. Taste me more. I need more.

 

“K-Katsuki…!” Izuku gripped the man’s shoulders, as if to make sure that he wasn’t going to go too far. What was this desperate need for that hot mouth on his skin?

 

“Play with me, Katsuki.” He begged, feeling calloused hands slowly land on his hips again, tracing circles on his skin, sliding up the side of his torso. Ah, he couldn't see anything. What face was Katsuki wearing? Was he looking at Izuku right now?

 

“Play with me some more…!”

 

The hands slid down again—his sides, his hips, his thighs, and then away again. What? Where was he going? No, come back! Ah, this was frustrating! Katsuki was no longer touching him and Izuku whimpered loudly.

 

“Katsuki, please!”

 

And then without warning, fingers twisted both his nipples.

 

Hard.

 

“AAAHH!”

 

 


 

“Mmhh, Kacchan…”

 

Izuku moaned softly as his hand wandered under his shirt while reading one of the recently updated fanfiction stories he was following. His entire apartment was dark save for the light from his laptop and the screen of his phone that displayed Kacchan’s naughty photo. It was strange how his workstation now looked like a smut command center but he really couldn’t care right now. Thinking back to last night’s events had made him hot and bothered enough to reread this kinky fanfic just in time when it had updated.

 

Blindfolds. Collars. Nipple play.

 

He was glad he’d read this prior that talk with Kacchan about kinks. It gave him ideas.

 

Oh, what would’ve happened if the phone didn’t ring? Would they really have kissed? And more? Would they have done more? How far would they have escalated?

 

Would Kacchan have taken him right there on the futon?

 

Izuku wouldn’t mind.

 

Ah, they hadn’t seen each other the rest of the day and Izuku was already missing him. Wasn’t that strange? He’d gone for longer days of not talking to or seeing Kacchan before. Well, he had no reason to miss him then and he was sure they could see each other anytime if they needed to. And he wasn’t… Izuku wasn’t like this before. He wasn’t this… greedy. He was with the man for one night and then suddenly it wasn’t enough.

 

“Kacchan…” Izuku gasped, trying to imagine his touch. His fingers were calloused, thick, and so, so warm.

Izuku wouldn’t mind getting played with by that.

 

 


 

“Mmhh… Ah! Ah!”

 

The bed creaked in time with Izuku’s whining as he gripped the headboard and bit his lip. He was still on his knees. Behind him was Katsuki who was thrusting into him like the fate of the world depended on it.

“Ah! Mmmhh… Ka—Ah—Katsukiiiii…” Izuku whined, resting his forehead on the headboard that he was careful not to snap under his grip. He was still blindfolded, his senses still heightened considerably. He could feel the beads of sweat trickling across his skin. He could feel the wetness slowly drying up on his deliciously abused nipples. He could feel the rough fingers bruising his hips. He could feel his own hardness bounce and drip between his legs. But most of all, he could feel Katsuki’s big hard cock thrusting in and out of him.

 

He could feel everything.

 

“S-s—Mmh—so good… Ah…!” Izuku moaned loudly. “So d-deep… You’re—ah—you’re so deep in me...”

 

And perhaps that stroked Katsuki’s ego enough to reward him. He pulled out to the tip very slowly, paused for a short second, and then slammed back in with one hard push, hitting everything that was sweet and insane and downright pleasurable that it severed Izuku’s proper thinking.

 

He screamed.

 

Katsuki did it again.

 

He choked.

 

“So gh—So mmhh—”

 

Katsuki’s dick was so deep into Izuku, not even King Arthur could probably pull it out.

 

 


 

That was the most ridiculous sentence Katsuki had ever read about fucking in his entire life but all he could do was growl as their fictional counterparts fucked and came. His fingers palmed his clothed erection. God damn it. This Izuku was a talkative one, sobbing and begging for more, telling Katsuki how good he was giving it, how he almost didn’t want him to ever pull out and god damn.

 

He wondered how Deku would be like in bed. Would he be loud, too? Would he mumble incoherently as he got fucked really good? Would he sob in pleasure? Would he like it on his back? On all fours? Against the wall? Over the table? On the floor?

 

Some moments from last night came back to him. The rain and thunder drowned most noises in the room but Katsuki could somehow remember something when he was straddling Deku on the bed. The nerd made some strange little noises that Katsuki had not heard from him before. Almost like half-moans. Such beautiful little grunts.

 

And when Izuku showered? God damn. Katsuki wasn’t sure if he was hearing things but he thought he distinctly heard Deku moan his name. Once or twice. He wasn’t sure. It could’ve been his name. Could’ve been some other dude’s. The last syllables sounded like Katsuki… except Deku never really called him that. And Katsuki knew better than to dwell in such uncertainties.


God damn it. Fictional Deku wanted to fuck forever. Meanwhile, real life Deku wouldn’t even consider.

 

And that was why Katsuki was moving to chapter four.

 

Also, his underwear was getting tight. Screw it. This shit was coming off.

 

 


 

“Get your ass over here.” Katsuki was sitting in front of his desk when he gestured for Izuku to come to him. The green-haired man approached slowly as Katsuki tapped on his leg to tell Izuku where to sit.

 

Oh, well, that was… That was nice.

 

Katsuki was wearing nothing but a pair of cotton shorts. The way its material fell over his obviously half-hard cock made Izuku damn sure that there was nothing under that. Not that Izuku was doing better. He was wearing an oversized shirt and nothing underneath either. That didn’t help him much when he sat on Katsuki’s thick leg. Just feeling that package made him squirm when it poked him slightly in ass.


Why was Katsuki always horny?

 

 


 

“Fuck you, I’ve been in abstinence for five fucking years.” Katsuki grunted, gently touching himself as he lay on his side, phone in one hand, dick in the other. What did it say about him that he was naked while reading fanfiction about himself?

 

 


 

“There’s something I’d like you to wear for me.” Katsuki’s hand rested on Izuku’s knee, thumb drawing circles on his skin. “But if you ain’t cool with it, just say so.”

 

Unlikely. Izuku thought. He loved pleasing Katsuki too much, as he recently discovered.

 

“Ready?” The blonde asked. He nodded. Katsuki smiled and gave him a lingering kiss on the lips before gesturing for him to pick up the tablet that was facedown on the desk. Izuku blinked but obeyed, pressing the side button to make it light up. When the screen came to life, Izuku was met with a page of what seemed to be an online shop.

 

Of collars.

For humans.

 

Izuku swallowed hard . Katsuki groaned as soon as the page loaded completely, like he was imagining something naughty again.

 

“I’ve always fucking thought of this, you know.” His palm slowly slid up Izuku’s inner thigh, mouthing at his jaw between words. “Sometimes when I see your mouthguard dangling from your nice and creamy neck, I wonder how god damn amazing you’ll look in a fucking collar for me.”

 

 


 

Oh, just—What—Who the ffff—God fucking damn it!

 

Katsuki did not need that visual suggestion!

 

Yeah, Deku’s mouth guard did look like a collar now that he thought about it, but did he really have to be informed of that? He was already miserable enough not being aware of ti. So how was he going to look at Deku in costume without getting a possible boner from now on?!

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

 

 


 

“I can choose whatever design I want?” Izuku asked quietly as he swiped curiously on the screen, browsing the many options. Just looking at these and imagining that one of them was going on his neck made him feel both excited and anxious. How would it feel? What would he look like? What would Katsuki do to him?

 

“The fuck? You greedy little shit. C’mere.” Katsuki’s other arm pulled him  even closer by the waist. Izuku gasped as the man nibbled on his neck and sucked on his skin, just hard enough to matter but light enough not to leave a mark.

 

“We’ll make a design together.”

 

Huh? Izuku blinked. Make? Weren’t they supposed to choose a pre-made design?

 

“You’re my toy. You’re mine. And I’m paying for this. So I’d better have a fucking say in how you get tagged, don’t you think?”

 

“Mmmuhh…” Izuku whimpered as Katsuki started squeezing his leg. Ye-yes...”

 

“We’re going to have one custom-made for you.” Katsuki moved to lick his ear, one hand still on Izuku’s thigh, the other crawling up his back from under his large shirt. “You’re going to be the only one with that kind of collar. You know why?”

 

Of course, he knew why.

 

“‘C-coz… Coz I’m your toy.” Izuku considered putting the tablet on the desk so he could straddle Katsuki and grind on him instead. “I belong to you.”

 

Katsuki’s hand slid higher up Izuku’s inner thigh, thumb slowly brushing against the head of Izuku’s dick, just enough to make him whine.

 

“Good boy.”

 

 


 

This fic. This fucking fic.

 

It was fictional but Katsuki was in utter disbelief.

 

They really did buy the thing. What the fuck!? These brave fuckers!

 

At first, Katsuki wasn’t on board with the choice of design. It was a thin black leather collar that was buckled from behind and had a silver bell in front. The bell was kind of a turn off for him but then fictional Katsuki said something about always knowing where Izuku was when he wore it at home—”I will always know where you are. Does that turn you on? Knowing that you can never escape me?” “Y-yes…”—and then suddenly it wasn’t so bad to reconsider.

 

Damn, his fictional counterpart knew his shit.

 

But there were still other matters that needed to be addressed. How the hell were they going to get it shipped without disclosing their damn identities? Did such online shops truly exist? And what the hell was with his fictional counterpart doing, acting like a goddamn sugar daddy for Izuku? How much fucking money did this author think the real Ground Zero made and had?

 

Ah, but if Deku told him right now that he was willing to be collared for his pleasure, Katsuki would be so damn willing to break his fucking life savings to end five damn years of fucking famine.

 

 


 

Izuku’s heart was jumping irregularly by the time he got to the part of wearing the collar. It was such an intense moment when fictional Katsuki fit it around fictional Izuku’s neck.

 

Would Kacchan want him in something like that? Did Izuku fit any of Kacchan’s criteria for an intimate partner? Would Izuku be able to handle wearing a collar for him? Would he have to wear it all the time?


What would it mean?

 

Izuku’s blush deepened when he thought about comparing it to an engagement ring. Except this one was much more… creative. Something deeper. Something that only the two of them understood.


A bond. He wanted a bond with Kacchan. Not that they didn’t have one yet, but it was nothing like that.

 

 


 

Izuku wasn’t sure how the collar felt on his skin as he sat on the bed. His brain couldn’t process anything with how Katsuki was staring at him right now.

 

“Fuck, Izuku.” He said breathily, not even hiding how he was flustered about Izuku being collared. And that just made Izuku a bit embarrassed that he looked away slightly.

 

“Hey, no.” Katsuki was quick to grab him by the collar and make him turn towards him. Izuku’s world shook at the sudden display of dominance, his shock immediately going to his dick.

 

Katsuki smiled.

 

Ah.

 

It’s playtime.

 

 


 

Fictional Katsuki was one crazy fucker and real Katsuki wanted to give him an explosive applause.

 

The collar fit perfectly. After showering Izuku with praise and without touching, he then started to make his little plaything do all sorts of poses… and then proceeded to take photos.

 

And fictional Izuku was all for it.

 

“Fucking shit.” Katsuki whispered in disbelief, holding his cock firmly and not stroking because he didn’t want to come yet. He had to know what the pictures looked like because damn. Despite Deku’s recent eagerness in sending photos, he doubted the nerd would send him any sexy ones let alone allow him to take pictures of him. In the nude. With a fucking collar around his neck.

 

The poses started out simple in the story. First, Izuku was just sitting on the bed. Then he was told to touch his face, to touch his shoulder, put a hand on his hip. And then he was asked to kneel, to crawl on all fours, to go lower with his chest down and ass up in the air and, fuuuuuuck. Izuku was so damn into it. He was moaning and panting already and nothing was happening yet.

 

Katsuki’s goddamn thirsty perverted mind was imagining this in crisp HD visuals.

 

“Son of a bitch, is this author trying to kill me?”

 

 


 

The bell tinkled with every movement like a small but constant reminder that he was Katsuki’s. That everything he was doing now was for his Katsuki.

 

“You look so hot, baby.” Katsuki’s thick voice was getting to him and all these poses were making Izuku excited.  He was now leaning back on the large pillows propped around him like he was some sort of precious treasure. His face felt hot and his breathing was getting more and more labored. His skin tingled as Katsuki draped the blanket over his body like he was some form of masterpiece. He enjoyed the look on the blonde’s face as he worked around his body—eyes flashing with lust and smile chiseled with desire.

 

That’s it. Look at me. I want your eyes to be only for me, Katsuki.

 

“You’re so perfect.” He hummed as he took pictures with his phone. Izuku glanced at the man’s hard cock from time to time. His mouth felt empty and he could really use something to fill that up right now.

 

“Yo.” Katsuki’s voice sounded like a snap that made Izuku dart his attention back to the camera.

 

Was he angry?

 

No.

 

He was smirking sexily.

 

“I’ll give it to you good later.”

 

Izuku literally whimpered and moaned, throwing his head to the other side as he felt himself leak with anticipation.

 

“But for now, touch yourself for me.”

 

“Wh-what?” Izuku slowly opened his eyes to process that.

 

“Touch yourself.” Katsuki repeated with one of the naughtiest grins he had ever worn.

 

“Wh-where…?” Izuku asked, his brain getting a bit hazy with excitement. “H-how?”

 

“Anywhere.” Katsuki said. “Show me how you play with yourself.”

 

Electricity shot through Izuku’s spine and right through his brain. His dick was already hard but damn if it didn’t harden more. The tips of his toes started tingling and his stomach started bubbling with desire as he processed the fact that Katsuki would be watching him.

 

Those predatory red eyes...

 

“O-okay, but...” Izuku bit his lip, his eyes moving shiftily before throwing out his request. “...Take a video of me instead?”

 

 


 

Izuku had never thought of taking lewd photos or videos of himself but the concept of Kacchan asking for it or taking them himself was… Was… Well, it was very risky but… But Izuku found he wasn’t totally closed off to the idea of putting on a show like that.

 

Maybe if they deleted it as soon as they were done?

 

Maybe.

 

Izuku pushed his shirt up his chin and his underwear lower.

 

“Kacchan…”

 

He wanted to play, too.

 

 


 

Katsuki was going to lose his god damn fucking mind with this absolute mindfuck of a story. Okay, the photo session was interesting at first but what the fuck were these idiots doing!?

 

First of all, having nude photos anywhere was dangerous. Videos were out of the question. As amazing as it would be to shoot a porno with Deku for his own private viewing, the risk was just too high. He would never put Deku in a situation that would compromise his fucking privacy… and intimacy. And that principle stood matter how non-existent that intimacy was now!

 

Good thing these fictional characters didn’t have a life of their own. Katsuki realized he was glad he could indulge on some of his guilty pleasures via these fanfictions without compromising himself or Deku.

 

Fiction was amazing.

 

 


 

“Katsuki…” Izuku moaned as he plunged his lube-coated fingers into his own tight hole. His free hand was gripping the pillow his head was on as he kept his quivering legs apart. In front of him, Katsuki was touching himself while taking a video, licking his lips and glancing at Izuku on the bed from time to time.

 

“Katsuki…” Izuku called, lifting his hips to meet the movement of his own hand, spreading his fingers, preparing himself for what was to come. He wanted to be nice and ready. He wanted to be good. He wanted everything to be perfect so he could see Katsuki’s face—that kind of face—when he entered him later.

 

“Mmm. You fuck yourself so good.” Katsuki said, his voice thick but a bit shaky. “I’m so hard for you right now.”

 

Izuku whined for how many times already.

 

“I’ll be coming so hard into you tonight, Izuku.”

 

 


 

Calming down was impossible as soon as fictional Katsuki made Izuku sit on his cock with his back against Katsuki’s chest. They were facing a large mirror—so that’s why it was there—and both fictional and real Izuku damn well lost their minds as Katsuki brought him down his hard and dripping length. Fictional Izuku kept on saying how he loved the fingers on his hips.

 

Real Izuku was jealous.

 

 


 

When fictional Izuku started bouncing on fictional Katsuki’s cock, nothing in the real world mattered anymore.

 

Katsuki’s hand moved on its own.

 

“Deku…” He whispered unknowingly. “Deku…”

 

 


 

“Ah! Ah!” Izuku kept gasping as he moved up and down on the best cock he had ever had in his life. His fingers were trembling as he held onto Katsuki’s legs spread on either side of him.

 

“Fuck, Izuku…!” Katsuki was nibbling across his shoulder and up to his neck, his eyes never leaving the mirror. “You look so damn good.”

 

Izuku couldn’t do the same. His eyes were either closed or pasted on the ceiling. Katsuki wanted him to look but he said he couldn’t and the man didn’t press. He wanted to see his face but he couldn’t bring himself to look at them in the mirror.

 

Maybe next time.

 

If this made him happy then Izuku was willing to compromise.

 

“Keep moving, baby.” Katsuki whispered, fingers tightening on his thighs, speeding up his pace. Izuku was starting to lose his mind.

 

“That’s it. Moan louder.”

 

Izuku pressed his back against Katsuki’s chest, feeling the sweat between their skin, sliding up and down. He opened his mouth. Panted. Gasped. Almost screamed.

 

“Katsuki! Fuck! Shit!. Ah…! Katsuki! Ngh!”

 

Words and sounds came out as an uncontrollable stream.

 

“Mmm, yesss…” Said the beautiful man. “You’re so good, Izuku.”

 

And perhaps it was some form of reward when Katsuki’s hands started crawling upward, under Izuku’s arms, moving to the front and—“A-ah! Ah!” Izuku’s head threw back as soon as Katsuki’s fingers started twisting on his nipples, making his hips move erratically.

 

“I… Katsuki… !”

 

He brought himself down harder as if that was a way to cope with the number of sensations attacking him right now.

 

“Ka—You’re—Ah!—This is… This is making me cum, Ka—Ah!—Katsuki...”

 

“Hey, hey, no, not yet.” Katsuki’s fingers pressed and moved, making Izuku cry out in pleasure. It was difficult to focus on moving when Katsuki was consuming every bit of sanity he had.

 

“Lemme enjoy you a little more.” He whispered huskily, fingers unrelenting. “I fucking love being inside of you.”

 

Izuku moaned louder. More desperate.

 

“I still wanna play, baby.”  Katsuki gave his ear a nice long lick. “I still wanna play with you.”

 

 


 

It was no use. Izuku wasn’t going to be able to read this fic properly until he came. So he closed his eyes and leaned back on his chair, trying to imagine that the hand around his dick was Kacchan’s. His shirt was bunched up under his chin. His underwear was down to his thighs. His shorts were on the floor.

 

“Kacchan…” Izuku moaned loudly as he tightened his grip and stroked faster. The other hand that was gripping the armchair moved up to his mouth so he could lick is fingers. God, he’d rather be licking something else. He had no experience giving head but he was willing to learn for Kacchan and only for Kacchan.

 

The balls of his feet tried digging into the floor, causing the chair to shake and move back slightly.

 

Once he was satisfied with how wet his fingers were, Izuku brought it down to play with his own nipples and oh god, what he’d give for Kacchan’s tongue to abuse him swollen. He wanted Kacchan to lick him and tell him what he tasted like.

 

“Kacchan…!” Izuku was basically whimpering out loud. “Play with me, Kaccha—ah! Ah!”

 

 


 

“God damn it, you nerd.”

 

Katsuki threw his phone towards the foot of the bed before grabbing his bottle of lube from his bedside drawer. Fuck his decision of touching himself after reading. He needed to come now.

 

The sound of the cap being flicked off was almost suspenseful and Katsuki didn’t think he’d trembled in so much anticipation just to touch himself. He wasn’t sure if he had smothered his dick with an amount just right or too much but neither did he care. The coolness of the lube on his heated skin was tantalizing and welcome although he’d really much rather have a small hot body of a freckled someone next to him right now.

 

This wasn’t the first time he was jacking off to the damn nerd. He’d done this countless times. But right now he had a narrative he never had before. It was fresh, new, naughty, and pleasurable.

 

“I want you, Deku...” He gasped as his hand started moving up and down on his hard and aching cock. “Deku...”

 

He didn’t even have to close his eyes to see Deku naked on the futon except for the mouth guard around his neck, his fair chest peppered with bite marks, dick hard and dripping, legs spread, asking Katsuki to fuck him out of his damn debauched mind.

 

“Kacchan…” He’d say. His cheeks would be pink. His breath would be hot. “Kacchan… Don’t you want me?”

 

“I want you so bad…” Katsuki huffed audibly.

 

“Then why won’t you play with me?”

“God damn it.” Katsuki squeezed his eyes shut as soon as he imagined himself shoving his hard cock into Deku without warning. He could hear the smaller man scream in surprise, see his eyes widen as his body heaved and jolted with every mad and thirsty thrust. His legs would tremble, his hands would scamper for anything to grab onto, the futon would be a mess just like Deku after Katsuki was done with him.

 

“I’m gonna fucking play with you, Deku…” Katsuki bit on his lip and then bit on the pillow as he stroked himself faster, wet sounds perking his ears up and making him imagine all the sexy wet noises and the crisp slapping of skin against skin.

 

I want to make you feel good.

 

“I wanna…” He huffed into the pillow, unaware how he was slowly drooling with desire, his pleasure building up, bubbling from the pit of his stomach as it clawed at his presence of mind.

 

Let me make you feel good.

 

“I’m gonna…” Katsuki choked on his feelings because he was going to… going to…

 

“Gonna fucking—Ggh! Ngh! Ahh!”

 

 


 

“K-Ka—Kaccha—Ah!” Deku arched as he came, feeling all the tremors traverse his body like a pleasurable chain. The chair kept squeaking as he moved his hips to ride his orgasm—”Katsuki…! Katsuki…!”—trying to prolong it, trying to stay in his imaginary world—”Katsuki…”—for a bit more until everything—”Ka…”—started to settle down.

 

“—tsuki…”

 

Deku was saying his name up to the last second.

 

 


 

What just happened?

 

Katsuki felt like he’d fucked Deku for real, not that he knew what that actually felt like. But, still... Damn. That was possibly the best wank of his life. The thing about masturbation, however, was that it felt good while it was happening but always left a bitter aftertaste.

 

Slowly, as the sensations died down and his heart decided to pump blood and oxygen to other parts of his body that wasn’t his dick, Katsuki was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that he was alone on his big, cold bed.

 

It can fit two people. He thought to himself. Too bad it’s just me.


DING!

 

Katsuki frowned as he caught his breath.

 

Who the fuck could that be at one in the fucking morning!?

 

Katsuki grabbed a bunch of tissues and clean himself up and stared at his phone. With a huff and a curse under his breath, he grabbed the thing but never looked at it before putting it facedown on his bedside table. Whatever that was would have to wait. He knew he was too out of it to process anything.

 

If he did, though, he would’ve seen one message.

 

MIDORIYA IZUKU.

 

Woke up randomly and remembered you. (^^,)

 

 


 

Izuku stared at his phone, feeling strange at how he was texting Kacchan in a short while after coming and washing his hands. He’d probably kill Izuku for still being up at one in the morning, but that was of little importance compared to how Izuku was longing to be with him right now. His small bed felt like an island on a vast ocean. His room felt like a void.

 

Perhaps it had been after a minute or two that he had texted Kacchan. Izuku’s messaging app was still open. On the text box was a series of three words without a smiley or a punctuation and just a blinking cursor at the end. Three words and a mass of feelings just waiting to be sent.

 

I miss you

 

But Kacchan never replied.

 

So Izuku erased it. Wrote it again. Erased it. Wrote it again.

 

And went to bed.

 

He never hit send.

Chapter Text

Bakugou Katsuki had committed one mistake after the other.

 

Picking up his phone again was stupid. Ignoring the recent text he received was dumb. Going back to that damned story website was ridiculous.

 

Clicking the word smut in the tags was the biggest fuck up of all.

 

In his defense, he did it on a whim because it sounded weird . He wasn’t really expecting the sin of the planet to come bursting out of that shit like it was on some contest with god damn Pandora’s box.

 

Holy shit, the number of stories, the number of kinks —collars, blindfolds, handcuffs, cockrings, buttplugs, fishnet stockings, panties, lingerie, skirts , damn it, god damn skirts . Fucking hell .  Katsuki never even considered liking girly clothing but the idea of fucking Deku in a skirt and thigh-high socks on trembling legs and no shoes while bent over his desk at UA made him feel things.

 

And as if that wasn’t enough, Katsuki found this heaven called the omegaverse that made him want to blast himself off from this world to that. Biting Deku on the neck —”Mmhh, Katsuki, bite me… Bite me, knot me, please. ”—and making him his ? Knotting? Alpha-omega dynamics with love and full god damn consent? Cuddles after mating? Caring for an omega? Fighting other alphas?

 

Where the fuck should he sign up?

 

If this was an omegaverse, he wouldn’t have suffered five years of drought because it would’ve been impossible for Deku miss that Katsuki was highly interested in him. And Deku’s seasonal shit or Katsuki’s long-lasting infatuation would somehow make sense because at least omegaverse science could explain it or something. And there’d be pills for it. Or social laws and policies. Some semblance of order.


But this wasn’t an omegaverse. There was no way that Katsuki could fucking punch Deku with pheromones. Sadly.

 


 


“What are you doing here?” Katsuki hissed from the shadows, standing in the corner of the dark room, feeling like an injured, threatened predator. He hated that. And he hated it more that he was like this in front of this stupid omega, this stupid omega with a scent so thick, oozing like honey, and filling the air so much that Katsuki could not help but bare his fangs.

 

“I wanted to see you.” Izuku said almost meekly, approaching in slow careful steps. His breath was already hitching, unable to keep his lips together as he drew breath after breath, inhaling like he was taking as much of Katsuki’s scent as he could.

 

This idiot.

 

“I told you to stay away...!” Katsuki hated feeling cornered like this, but he clearly had no choice. It was strange how he was the alpha and yet he was the one trying to break away from Izuku.

 

There’s no choice , he reiterated to himself. If I touch him, I don’t know what’ll happen.

 

“But I don’t want to stay away…” Izuku murmured, gradually getting closer. He was slow because he was drunk on his need and desire, not because he was scared. His proximity was making it difficult for Katsuki to even see straight, trembling in an effort to keep himself in check. At least long enough until Izuku came to his senses somehow and ran away. Katsuki wasn’t a man of patience. Never was. This stupid fucking omega was going to get knotted out of his mind and Katsuki doubted he wanted that.

 

“Trust me, you don’t want to stay here either.” Katsuki ground out between his teeth. “You don’t want this.”

 

“But I do.” Izuku whispered, but his voice came to Katsuki like a song. He was so close. Just within arm’s reach. Katsuki could see his eyes half-lidded, pupils blown, breath coming in pants, and his smell—Fuck—Katsuki could smell him enough to know how slick and dripping he probably was for him right now.

 

For him.

 

For Katsuki.

 

The Alpha growled, holding his breath, trying to hang on to whatever semblance of sanity he had left.

 

“I want this.” Izuku’s voice became thicker as he came closer. He was dizzy, Katsuki knew. “I’ve always had.”

 

Don’t say that.

 

“So I’m right here.”

 

Don’t fucking say that.

 

“With you.”

 

You mustn’t say that, you stupid idiot.

 

“For you.”

 

Or else I’ll—

 

“This is where I want to be.”

 

He smiled, cheeks puffed, eyelids heavy. His lips were glistening for some reason.

 

“Katsuki.”

 

Whatever shred of patience and self-control Katsuki had just flew out the damn window as he grabbed onto Izuku, kissing him messily and noisily and hungrily —huffs, pants, moans, and growls in between. He pushed Izuku up the wall, taking deep inhales right under his jaw and mmmm, damn, that smelled right and good and hot. Katsuki tugged at the omega’s shirt with need, sending buttons flying and exposing his chest. The smell of him washed over Katsuki’s senses. The alpha wanted nothing more than to consume this little omega, sweep him before he knew it, drown him in a tidal wave of his own scent.

 

Mine.

 

Katsuki’s mouth immediately latched onto the exposed skin of Izuku’s chest, finding one nipple and licking it until it hardened and marbled. Coos of delight rang in Katsuki’s ears, making his blood sing, his desire surge, and his hunger burn.

 

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

 

Izuku whimpered loudly—”Katsuki…!”—crossing his ankles to lock him in place and the balls of his feet digging into the alpha’s back as he tipped his head, moaning some more. The omega chanted his name over and over—”Katsuki…! Katsuki…!”—hands gripping the alpha’s shoulders—”Please.”—running up the back of his neck—”Please, Katsuki…”—going through his blonde hair—”Please.”—pulling and tugging, until they crawled hurriedly back again and—OH GOD.

 

Their mouths met again, heads tilted to deepen the kiss. Katsuki’s tongue slid inside without any inhibition as his large hands squeezed the omega’s— his omega’s ass. Izuku moaned into the kiss, already sobbing with need and Katsuki had barely touched him.

 

Another deep breath.

 

There was no stopping this now.

 

“You are going to regret this , you shitty omega.”

 

Katsuki gave Izuku’s neck one long lick.

 

Your shitty o—ah!”

 

He nipped.

 

“Katsuki!”

 


 

Uuuuurgh, all the fucking YES .

 

There was a whole lot of passionate and carnal fucking after that. Katsuki ended up masturbating a second time that night—Morning. It was two-thirty.—imagining himself biting Deku’s neck. His very own omega nerd would be on all fours as Katsuki passionately took him from behind, mouth latched onto his neck because fuck if anyone else was going to take him. And, yes, scenting, god damn it. Katsuki would scent the hell out of Deku because everyone had to know that his ass was taken and everyone else could go fuck themselves or whatever.

 

And then the cuddling. Mother of god , the cuddling that followed was going to be the death of him. Katsuki wanted to suckerpunch himself at how warm and fuzzy he felt whenever he read about taking care of Deku because, yes , you fuckers, yes . That’s what alphas were supposed to do. They protected their shit. And that was what Katsuki was trying to do right now. He was a god damn fucking alpha and Deku was being dumb and dense and stupid and—fucking hell , why wasn’t this an omegaverse!?

 

Katsuki was losing his mind!

 

From his experience, masturbating usually felt amazing during, filthy afterwards, and then sleepy later on. But this website, these authors, these absolute mindfuck of stories kept him wide awake. Everytime Katsuki closed his eyes, he could see one of the scenes in the story and he could hear Deku say his name among other naughty things!

 

“Take me, Bakugou.”

 

“Harder, Katsuki, please!”

 

“Fuck me, Zero. Fuck me like there’s no tomorrow.”

 

Well, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

This was worse than having a song stuck in his head! At least earworms didn’t make his dick rock hard to the point of shattering , damn it!

 

So Katsuki tried using the same concept. The way to get a song out of one’s head was to sing another song, right? Right. So that meant, he just needed to read something else that didn’t involve taking out cocks and shoving it into tight wet holes. He needed the opposite of that.

 

Fine, then. Going for Explicit shit was a big fat fucking NO anymore, at least for now ( For now!? ).

 

So Katsuki checked out the other side of the spectrum, which he assumed was filled with rainbows and happy things. A.K.A. boring things that would lull him to sleep.

 

Or fluff as they called it—tooth-rotting, bone-tingling fluff that Katsuki did not even want to start thinking of why he was so, so, so drawn to. Like, hell , what was this shit? Cuddles? Spooning? Nose kisses? Holding hands? Sharing scarves? Did anyone say “things that Katsuki was willing to kill for right now”? He had to god damn swallow a squeal with every word. It made him ever having an idea of being called “Explodo Murder King” sound laughable .

 

Most of the stories were short, light, and easy to get into. And Katsuki absolutely loathed himself for loving almost all of them. The horror of this all!

 

For instance, there was one story where Katsuki was an aspiring writer who frequented a certain cafe where Deku was working. It was filled with their interactions—how Deku memorized the kind of drink Katsuki wanted depending on the weather, his expression, or body language, how Katsuki loved that Deku drew smileys—god damn smileys— next to his name, how they slowly talked and got to know each other, how Katsuki wrote a story with Deku in it, and how they eventually went out on a date. It ended with Katsuki asking Deku out and the latter saying yes. They didn’t really become official boyfriends and the story didn’t really go into their date but that sort of open ending made Katsuki feel like— ASHDKAHDKAHDAKDHKAHDK—like he wanted to punch himself to make the sap go away!

 

And then there was one where they were a married couple going through their daily routines. In that story, Deku was the one who cooked for Katsuki. What a big fucking lie! If they ever got married—please, god, please —and Deku was to plan their meals, both of them would die of malnutrition or from accidentally eating a boiled sock . But, hey, this was fanfiction, and they could make Deku bring Katsuki breakfast in bed or make him lunches with hearts drawn with ketchup on omurice. Katsuki would come home to him, kiss his nose, and tell him about his day as they cuddled on the couch with only the glow of their aquarium to light the room.

 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!

 

Katsuki was beyond nine thousand levels of I FUCKING WANT THAT.

 

God. Fucking. Bless these authors .

 

What annoyed him about this was that his traitorous brain kept trying to insert smut in the goddamn fluff. He’d imagine Deku in a very disheveled barista uniform, pushed up the wall in the backroom, covering his mouth and drowning all the moans and cries from being fucked so good by Katsuki. How a customer ended up in the backroom with the barista, he really didn’t know. But throw that in an omegaverse and Katsuki was god damn fucking sold .

 

And the married fic? Well, his brain just went “The breakfast in bed was good but consider this: Deku for breakfast.”

 

Yeah. Okay. Way to go, self. Just fucking lovely.

 

Who the hell planted the devil in his mind? Why was his brain like this? Feeling feelings from the fluff was already confusing to him. Did there have to be a route that ended up in them screwing like rabbits with feelings ?

 

Although, urgh, waking up to Deku in his bed—naked, half-naked, fully clothed, burrito blanket, whatever . But Deku in his bed . Every morning. What was bliss !?

 

And then shit happened.

 

Shit happened because Katsuki found angst and, hoo-boy , did that genre speak to the very core of his impure and tortured soul because yeeeeeeessss. There was so much pain, but it was relatable pain. Seeing his feelings put to words and reading about him and Deku going through different struggles made him feel like he wasn’t alone.

 

Katsuki would deny it until his dying breath in this world and beyond but, hell, fucking tore up when he finished his first angst fic.

 

It started with them graduating and on their road to being pro Heroes. All was well until Deku lost his fucking eyesight because of an accident that he and Katsuki got involved in. His heart broke and mended itself fifty thousand times as he read about their struggle, about Deku crying and lashing desperately, about Katsuki blaming himself, about their friends being so fucking there until the end when Deku got his sight back. Then they hugged. And they kissed. And then fast forward to three years later, they got married . Katsuki was so fucking free and a little part of him was happy .

 

Ah, at least one iteration of him—as fictional as that Katsuki was—got Deku. He wondered what if his current life was a fanfiction…? What would the reader be thinking right now? Would they be cheering for him to end up with Deku or was he a side character in the tags and Deku was actually paired with someone much better?

 

Well, whoever was writing his story right now had to fucking suck.

 

AT LEAST LET ME HOLD HIS HAND, GOD DAMN IT.

 

Urgh.

 

Why?!

 

Why was he drawn to these damn genres?! Why couldn’t he be compelled to find something else !? Action? Adventure? Mystery? Horror? Murder? Noooo. He just had to like the omegaverse, smut, fluff, and angst. If he ever found a fic with all of those, he was going to write a will before he jumped into it because there was a high possibility of him not coming out alive from that.

 

How did the smut keep his dick up in rather inhuman levels!? How was the fluff making him want to smash his bones from all the tingling sweetness!? How was the angst hitting him with a comforting sadness!?

 

Why couldn’t he stop reading!? This was madness!

 

Yeah, maybe Katsuki was truly fucking crazy because he started looking for more of this shit. Fluff. Angst. Fluff. Angst. Holy hell, a combination of both and then fuck it —smut, smut, smut, omegaverse until then the moon fucked off and how was it morning already!?

 

Katsuki had zero sleep. Not a single fucking wink.

 

Abso-fucking-lutely amazing.

 

It was five-thirty in the morning. It was high time Katsuki started his routines so he could go about his day. He had just finished the most recent chapter of that god damn delicious Explicit smutty omegaverse angst that made him not know what to do with life until this shit updated.

 

He bookmarked it on his phone browser for him to check from time-to-time because no way was he making a goddamn account for this. He scrolled down a bit more to read the author’s comments because maybe they would share an insight about the events of the next chapter or when it would be up.

 

Thanks for the lovely fanart by TwiGenShipperTrash! I can’t seem to post it here but for anyone who wants to see, CLICK HERE. I LOVE how he did Ground Zero’s gloves. All the love! ♥

 

Huh? Someone drew his gloves? He squinted at the artist’s name.

 

TwiGenShipperTrash.

 

Katsuki had no idea what the fuck that long-ass smash fiesta of letters meant. Well, except for TwiGen. TwiGen was short for Twilight Generation, which was the generation that Katsuki’s batch belonged in. Twilight was the time between dawn and sunrise or dusk and night, which was an analogy people used for the kind of change they had been a major part of. Theirs was the generation that saw All Might’s retirement, of the rise and fall of the League of Villains, and of a new era for the Hero System that gave birth to the new generation of Heroes that the fans tend to call the Daybreakers.

 

Now whatever the fuck a shipper trash was, Katsuki did not have a clue. Well, whatever. Probably didn’t matter much. He just wanted to see the gloves.


So he clicked.

 

The window went white and brought him to a different site.

 

“What kind of fucking name is Grumblr?” Katsuki frowned at his screen, wondering if people on this site complained about shit a lot for it to get that name.

 

The page loaded and the first thing Katsuki saw was information on the header.

 

TwiGenShipperTrash

Xenoz ♥ TwiGen ♥ Multishipper ♥ ZeKu is my OTP

 

What was a Xenoz? Was that a name? The hell was a multishipper? Was that a job? What in the hell was a ZeKu and what did it have to do with that smiley of a person with a large butt bending over?

 

Katsuki decided not to care and scrolled down.

 

And saw one of the most beautiful artworks he’d ever laid eyes on.

 

There were nothing but hands and a white background, but the gloves made it obvious that it was his hand and Deku’s. Only their pinkies were touching in that warm but indecisive way that made Katsuki’s heart want to grow knuckles to feel manly again.

Katsuki made a noise that he would forever swear wasn’t from him but fuck . This was so perfect. How could emotions be depicted in the way the fingers curled? He saved it to his phone without thinking because it was so god damn well-drawn and had a lot of feelings in it despite only having hands . The hesitation, the confusion, the uncertainty? It was there. And, again, this picture only had hands.

 

He scrolled down. 1045 notes. Wow. did that mean it was popular? He wasn’t sure. Maybe he should look at other works to compare?

 

And with that, Katuski went to this person’s home page only to be bombarded by a large as fuck drawing of Deku and Todoroki and— You are cordially invited to share the happiness of Todoroki Shouto and Midoriya Izuku as they are united in marriage for IcyDeku week.

 

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?” Katsuki sat up and gripped his phone so hard, he almost broke the shit because what the fuck !?

 

It was a god damn wedding invitation !

 

Who drew this abominable shit of Todoroki Shouto bridal carrying Deku like they were off to a hotel suite for their shitty honeymoon? Both of them were in white suits. The nerd was so fucking happy as he raised his stupid bouquet of roses and Katsuki wanted to punch Todoroki’s perfect face for how he was looking too dearly at Deku because fuck you, Half-and-half, who said this was okay?!

 

Katsuki was breathing like a damn bull and he was ready to headbutt Satan for this fuckery if he had to.

 

Okay, what in the fuck was an IcyDeku week and why was it allowed to exist? Katsuki scrolled down a bit to find any details to help him make sense of all this bullshit. What the fuck was this? What the hell were prompts? Why were there dates? What tags? What the hell?

 

It didn’t take long before he realized that this was an online event run by fans. Wow. Well, he had some thoughts regarding that. First of all, who the fuck told these busters they could just go right ahead and marry people like this?

 

And holy, hell, 1567 notes!?

 

Katsuki’s fingers moved on its own, driven by some form of unreasonable rage . How was he going to message this person? Was there a way? These little shits needed to be given a piece of his mind. It seemed this person had been publicly answering questions and messages from anonymous people. All Katsuki needed to do was find out how to do that and he was going to unleash a hell lot of colorful words because who the fuck did these people think they— STOP.

 

”Okay, no. No .” Katsuki dropped his phone, lifted his head, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.

 

Breathe.

 

Deep breaths.

 

This wasn’t a real event. It was no use getting agitated and it was beyond petty to send fucking hate mail over a fictional Todoroki-Midoriya union. Because what was he? Five? His did not graduate from UA to pick fights over shit that didn’t exist.

 

“These are real people, Katsuki.” He mumbled a bit audibly to help it sink in. “They are real people. They have low standards and shitty taste but still people. You are a Hero. You are better than this. Calm the effing fuck down .”

 

Katsuki slowly laid back down, head on the pillow, eyes on the ceiling. His phone was still lying face down next to him.

 

“One… Two… Three… Four… Five...”

 

He’d probably have to count to five-digit numbers to calm himself down. The fact that anyone wanted Deku and Todoroki to marry made him livid. Half-and-half already had fire and ice. Like hell he was going to have Deku, too. If that little handsome fucker thought Katsuki was going to just give up Deku just like that then…

 

Then what?

 

What was he going to do? Throw a fucking tantrum? Make a claim in court? Sue Endeavor for spawning the handsome bitch? What?

 

Deku wasn’t his.

 

But that wasn’t what hit him here.

 

It was the fact that he just admitted that he still hadn’t given up.

 

He didn’t want to let him go.

 

Katsuki’s eyes snapped open so fast, he probably wouldn’t be able to blink for a while.

 

Fuck.

 

Fuck .

 

Katsuki grabbed a pillow, covered his face, and screamed.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”

 

Where the hell did that come from all of a sudden? Wasn’t he done ? Wasn’t this fuck-it-I-don’t-care phase!? Wasn’t five years enough? What was he doing? He’d tried this before and it all ended in a fucking fizzle of heartbreak and whatever else.

 

When was he going to learn?!

 

Shit!

 

“I can’t…!” Katsuki groaned and threw his phone across the bed. “I was supposed to—Aaaarrrghhh…!”

 

He grabbed his phone and it was only then that he realized he still hadn’t read the incoming message from earlier. Huh? When was this again?

 

MIDORIYA IZUKU.

 

Woke up randomly and remembered you. (^^,)

 

Timestamp: 1:04AM

 

Huh!?

 

HUH!?

 

“HAAAAAAAAAA!?” Katsuki sat up so fast, his brain almost catapulted itself through the wall.

 

What the fuck did that even mean ? Katsuki just popped into Deku’s head for no good reason? Or was he thinking of Katsuki and couldn’t sleep?

 

Deku never really did this sort of thing before—texting him in the wee hours of the night. He remembered the damn nerd participating in late night group chats but solo texting Katsuki in ungodly hours? Unusual. Kind of new. And Katsuki didn’t know what to make of that. For all he knew, this meant nothing again.

 

But what was he doing awake at one in the morning!?

 

And then he threw himself back on the bed, arms spread, phone in one hand, eyes on the ceiling as he contemplated on his terrible life decisions—letting himself fall in love with Deku, listening to Kaminari’s advice to read that stupid story, and staying up late reading many other stupid things.

 

Katsuki held his phone in front of his face so he could scroll up and look at the picture Deku had sent him last night.

 

“I fucking hate you .” Katsuki glared at the smiling face on his screen. “How fucking dare you make me miss you. You’re just Deku .”

 

Katsuki sighed, wondering if he should type out a reply when his e-mail alert tone just chimed.

 

Huh?

 

SENDER: Lemillion, Heroes HQ

RECEPIENTS: Deku, Ground Zero, IcyHot, Mind Hack

 

Katsuki sat up.


SUBJECT: Meeting - Deku & Ground Zero Reassignment

 

“What?” Katsuki opened the email.

 

The body of the message contained meeting schedule whose agenda included the discussion of his and Deku’s reassignment.

 

Katsuki’s eyes widened.

 

“...to UA!?”

 

What the fuck!?

Chapter Text

Izuku wanted to scream the next morning as he sat on his bed and stared at the phone in his trembling hands.

 

Woke up randomly and remembered you. (^^,)

 

His eyes drifted downwards to three more words on the text box

 

I miss you

 

Izuku opened his mouth and screamed silently—it was five in the morning—as he frantically erased the text before he could send it by accident. There was some sort of relief and a pang of sadness that he couldn’t send it but he brushed it away because the other one … The earlier message… There was no taking back that one

 

Oh, god.

 

He sent that.

 

He really, really sent that!

 

Izuku brought the screen closer to his face, trying to will the entire sentence gone, smiley and all, but couldn’t. He was trembling and breaking in cold sweat. No, this couldn’t be happening. No, no, no!

 

Oh, god! What had he done !? What should he tell Kacchan?!

 

Izuku wasn’t sure what sounds he was making as he continued gawking at his phone, trying to track back to where he went wrong.

 

Okay. So last night, he read a fic, touched himself, and became so drunk from post-orgasm bliss and his terrible longing for Kacchan that it seemed a good idea to just randomly drop him a message like that…!

 

His heart was currently rampaging in his chest like it was trying to berate Izuku for having no sense of shame .

 

“Nooooo!” Izuku squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again only to come face to face with the message again and, “What have I dooooone!?”

 

A big mistake, that’s what.

 

After realizing that it was not worth selling his soul to the devil just to retract this mistake, Izuku decided to accept the fact that there was no way he was taking this back. Well, then. His next move should be damage control. Assess the situation. How much damage was done and what were the possible repercussions of this incident? Was his crush too obvious with that text? Those words? That smiley? The timing?

 

Answer? Probably.

 

It was one in the morning . Who in his right mind would text a random person at one in the morning unless they were drunk !? And Izuku couldn’t even play the drunk reason mainly because it was so… out of character. Kacchan would probably fly to his house for the sake of grabbing him by the neck and shoving him up the wall and hhhnngggh , hot— NO!


His perversion was what got him into this mess in the first place! It was totally not getting him out of it!

 

“Focuuus!” Izuku dropped his phone and threw himself on the bed so he could roll from side-to-side. What was he going to do!? Kacchan was sure to notice something was off! Izuku wasn’t ready for this!

 

He stopped. No! No, he mustn’t give up! There had to be a way to reduce any form of blow this text would incur!

 

Think!

 

Izuku sat up again and scampered for his phone that he had almost kicked off the bed. He looked at the message one more time.

 

What if he said it was missent? No, that would make it look like he was crushing on someone else. He didn’t want Kacchan to think that…!

 

What if he said he was sleep-texting? Er… With complete words? And proper grammar? And a complicated smiley ? Kacchan would no sooner slam him against the wall and—Nooo, brain! Stop being a pervert!

 

Okay, so what if he said it was a template? Say his phone was hacked? Pretend he was possessed?

 

Aaaargh! He couldn’t think of anything!

 

Izuku’s brain was going to explode if his cheeks didn’t catch fire first.

 

Well, then. He had no choice. The only way he could know what Kacchan was thinking was if he responded. There was no way to react to something that hadn’t happened yet. So all he could do now was wait for Kacchan to text back and work his way from there.

 

So he waited.

 

And waited.

 

And waited some more.

 

When his phone chimed sometime past five-thirty, Deku already had a handful replies from all the possible scenarios he’d played in his head.

 

It wasn’t the kind of message he was expecting to receive, though.

 

An e-mail.

 

SENDER: Lemillion, Heroes HQ

RECEPIENTS: Deku, Ground Zero, IcyHot, Mind Hack

 

SUBJECT: Meeting - Deku & Ground Zero Reassignment

 

Well, those were quite the names.

 

Seeing Lemillion as the sender immediately told him it had something to do with education but it was Mind Hack’s name in the recipients confirmed that this had something to do with Aizawa-sensei’s UA branch. And it was probably something important. Why else would his right hand man have to be involved?

 

In line with the overhaul of the Hero System came the inevitable change in Hero education. After all, if they were to combat discrimination, they had to start at the very bottom—schools.

 

The agreed solution was to abolish having different Hero schools and instead standardize everything under one name. But while this new world had called for a new system, ti seemed to be a general consensus that UA would always be UA. No one wanted to let go if its name and its legacy. So, in an absolutely surprising move, all schools agreed to instead submit to UA, and push through with the standardization under its name. Deku remembered how Headmaster Nemu cried and bowed in gratitude.

 

Of course, this was met with backlash. The biggest argument was how this was no move to eliminate discrimination. Multiple schools would still exist but only as branches—basically the same system but under one name. So long as a main branch existed, there was going to be discrimination. Izuku remembered how Kacchan commented on that idea being stupid.


“These idiots. Who’re they expecting to keep things in check? In an organization, a leader is important. A main branch will always be necessary.” He remarked. “The solution isn’t to put everyone on the same level. It’s to put everyone on the same page . The idiots at the top should stop looking down on the ones at the bottom and the morons at the bottom should stop being bitter about the ones at the top. Just fuckin’ focus on what you have to do. God fucking damn it .”

 

Izuku remembered being in awe.

 

Kacchan has changed a lot.

 

But just like many things in the current Hero system, this was a long work in progress. Still, wasn’t it better to move forward than not to move at all?

 

UA’s response was to scatter its top teachers and make them in charge of their own branches. There was a massive reshuffling of staff across all schools to provide diversity and the best faculty combinations for each branch. They also worked very closely with the Heroes Alliance and often invited pro Heroes who were currently serving to hold talks, give assessments, oversee exams, assist students in their training or serve as substitute teachers among many other things. Everyone who wanted to serve as a pro Hero should also be open to lend a hand to UA and vice-versa. This was mandatory .

 

Hmm. Being traded from HQ to UA was often temporary unless stated otherwise.

 

So… Was “reassignment” permanent?

 

Izuku reread the body of the message.

 

They were to discuss a matter of substituting two teachers in the academy. Didn’t seem to be permanent, but possibly a long-time thing. Izuku chewed at his bottom lip. The meeting was at four-thirty in the afternoon today. Pretty short notice. Izuku’s shift ended at three. And Kacchan… Well… He wasn’t sure. Should he text?

 

Or should he call?

 

Yeah. Kacchan was always the one calling him first. Maybe… Maybe this time… Ah, should he text first or should he just go ahead and call ? He glanced at the clock. It was almost six.

 

Izuku took a deep breath.

 

Fuck it. He was just going to call. Okay. He could do this.

 

Izuku’s mouth and throat had never gone dry so fast as soon as he heard the first ring on the other line. His palms were immediately sweaty and his heart was suddenly very eager to pump blood. When Kacchan didn’t answer on the third ring, Izuku considered dropping the entire idea. On the fourth, he was whining. On the fifth, he wanted to cry.

 

On the sixth, he got an answer, pulling back half of his soul that was ascending to the damn astral plane.

 

“‘Lo?”

 

He heard one syllable that made no sense but in Kacchan’s voice, it felt like a tidal wave of emotions washing over his thoughts that were already swimming in a sea of excitement and uncertainty. He wasn’t sure if anything was in between. In the background, Izuku could hear the faint sound of morning news, which strangely added to his currently building anxiety.

 

Shut up. He wanted to scream at Kacchan’s TV. Shut up! I can’t think!

 

There was an urge to throw all these emotions at Kacchan, to scream I miss you while without disclosing how many different kinds of affection he was juggling. He wanted to say good morning and how are you and have you eaten and what are you having and many, many, many other things that weren’t really part of the plan, but, ah! Phone calls were a complicated matter, suddenly, and Izuku could not find it in himself to function properly.

 

“H-he-he—” He cleared his throat for the same reason his laptop needed reboots. “Hello.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

Kacchan’s voice was flat, totally unlike the previous times they’ve spoken. And yet, this didn’t seem foreign to Izuku. Like he’d heard this tone before. This call had happened before. Well, not exactly the same call, but the feel of it. Everything. There was some form of familiarity to this energy, like something that used to be upbeat and happy was suddenly, strangely going down.

 

“Deku.” Kacchan said again and that snapped the question out of Izuku.

 

“A-ah! What time does your shift end?”

 

Kacchan made a noise.

 

“Who’s asking?”

 

Huh ?

 

“Me?”

 

Because obviously ?

 

“Why?”

 

Wait, what? Why was he like this all of a sudden?

 

“You… Um…” Izuku took a deep breath and brought his feet up because somehow, compressing himself gave him strength. “The email. We have a meeting at four-thirty. I was thinking if you wanna…”

 

He took another deep breath because Mother Nature, please help .

 

“Wanna… Wanna go to the meeting together?”

 

He didn’t know where that question came from but he had thrown it out anyway. Kacchan just scoffed. This jerk. If only he knew how difficult it was to ask that!

 

“We’re both called on, doofus. We are attending together.” There was the sound of a blender going off. Izuku grimaced for a while, annoyed at how the stupid sound was drowning Kacchan’s voice. “Read the fucking e-mail.”

 

“N-n-no, I meant…!” Izuku hit his knee in both uncertainty and frustration, his voice picking up to overshadow the stupid blender that was trying to rival him for attention. “We still have an hour or more so we can… I don’t know… Meet up at the cafeteria?”

 

Deku was aware that the cafeteria wasn’t really an ideal place for a date—WAIT WAS THIS A DATE—but, hey, he was new to all this I-wanna-spend-time-with-my-crush thing. And he’d rather be in a place where they were both familiar and comfortable with. Besides, he didn’t want to accidentally set up for a coffee shop AU for Kacchan x some stranger. That would turn this story from G to E with violence and gore really fast.

 

Wait, would that count as Major Character Death?

 

“What for?” Kacchan’s voice snapped him back to reality. “I don’t need a report from you anymore.”

 

Izuku visibly winced .

 

OUCH.

 

Oh. Wow. Well, okay, that was discouraging.

 

But Izuku had nothing to say to that and Kacchan didn’t seem like he wanted this conversation to continue so they hung up soon after that. Ah. What was happening? This… This felt strange.

 

Willing away the feeling that was stuck in his throat, Izuku went about his morning routines until he saw a familiar shiny blue lunch box and—Ah! Hope! He ran to get his phone, wiping his wet hands on his shirt before texting Kacchan on LINE.

 

Need to return lunchbox btw >.< Can meet at cafeteria this am?

 

It took a while.

 

DING!

 

No. Leave it at information.

 

Ah. Okay. But… But was it bad if he wanted to know why? It almost felt like Kacchan was avoiding him. Did Izuku offend him at any point, in any way?  Was it the message? Did he know? Was he irritated or anxious or awkward? Part of Izuku wanted to say please or ask him again but Kacchan was an impatient person. And to be honest, Deku really wasn’t sure how to press or ask or insist anymore because, well, this didn’t feel like any of their previous conversations.

 

What was wrong with Kacchan?

 

Izuku wasn’t sure if something had actually changed between them or if he was only being paranoid from being aware that he was massively crushing on his childhood friend. Regardless, his thumbs went on to type a response just to satisfy the itch.

 

But I haven’t seen you in 24 hours

 

Erase.

 

But I want to see you

 

Erase.

 

But I’m starting to miss you

 

Izuku stared at that line for so long.

 

Erase.

 

But I think I miss you

 

Erase.

 

I miss you

 

Erase.

 

“I miss you.” Izuku repeated softly to himself.

 

It’s been a day since he last saw Kacchan. How could he be this lovesick so soon?!

 

Nothing was making sense! What was with this morning!?

 

“Aaaaaargh!” Izuku put his phone on the table and stormed back into his kitchen while messing up his own hair in frustration. “Why am I such a wuss!?”

 

Hopefully his day would pick up.

 

Hopefully this would go away soon.

 


 

Well, damn.

 

It was seven-thirty in the morning. If this sadness was going to go away, it better start doing so soon because Izuku was going on patrol and he didn’t want to go on his rounds looking like a chewed on bubblegum. Ah, he almost wished the dark circles under his eyes would be big enough to summon Kacchan, but, alas, no .

 

Izuku sighed as he sat alone in the cafeteria, cradling a mug of hot choco because he read somewhere that chocolate could help make people happy. It wasn’t working. Maybe because the choco was now cold .

 

“Good morning, Midori—” Todoroki cleared his throat as he approached with a breakfast tray. “Deku.”

 

“Oh.” Deku lifted his head and nodded when IcyHot made a silent inquiry if he could sit with him. “Morning, IcyHot.”

 

Deku couldn’t even say anything nice as the handsome heterochromatic King of Fanfiction slid into the bench in front of him. He only quietly lifted his cup to sip some chocolate in an attempt to look busy.

 

He glanced at the door in hopes of Kacchan walking in, but Mineta started waddling into the door and Deku wanted to curse.

 

“You look terrible.” IcyHot commented. Deku sighed again.

 

“I wish we can all be perfect like you.”

 

“O-oh.” IcyHot stopped from tearing a chunk off his bread so he could look and blink at Deku. “That’s… That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry.”

 

Oh. What? What did he say?!

 

“A-ah! N-no, no! I’m sorry!” Deku exclaimed, snapping out of his mean little stupor. He didn’t intend for his gloominess to become an area-of-effect thing. Not with Todoroki Shouto of all people. “I’m just having a really bad morning! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said that, Todoroki. I’m sorry.”

 

IcyHot made a small sound as he nodded, not commenting on how Deku was not using his Hero name just now. Deku smiled wanly.

 

For a few moments, neither of them spoke. As the buzzing of chatter in the cafeteria started to grow louder, Deku’s eyes kept darting towards the door in hopes of someone, okay, in hopes that Kacchan would show up. People came and went, but none of them was the one Deku was looking for. He must’ve been doing it really creepily, too, because IcyHot sounded like he had to break the silence between them. And that said something if Todoroki Shouto could not stand silence.

“May I ask what is bothering you?”

 

“O-oh! Um…” Deku scratched his head as he smiled faintly, glancing towards the door and then back at IcyHot like this had become some sort of disease now. “I-I’m not sure, really. It’s kind of complicated.”

 

IcyHot made a small interested noise. Oh. Deku knew this face. He was trying to ingrain this entire situation in his mind for future social reference. Now wasn’t that adorable? Except for the part where Deku felt like some specimen then, well, yeah. IcyHot’s constant efforts to improve his social understanding was adorable. Deku smiled and took a deep breath.

 

“Well, if I may ask… Do you…” Deku chewed on his bottom lip before sipping on his chocolate in the same way people drink beer or wine to somehow get courage to do something stupid. “Have you ever missed someone so badly for such a short period of time? Like just one day? Or less?”

 

“Yes.” IcyHot responded surely and quickly with a firm nod. ”My mother.”

 

Deku had to stop himself from slapping his forehead. He took a bigger gulp from his cup. He knew that no-longer-hot choco wasn’t supposed to be consumed this way but he needed some anchor to keep talking.

 

“Ah, yeah, well…” Deku shrugged. He took another shot of choco because he needed it and, yes, that’s what he was going to call it now. Choco shot.

 

“Well, I get that… But…” He pursed and twisted his lips.

 

How was he going to explain his situation to IcyHot without dropping names? If he hadn’t been so damn obvious, he could’ve gone the route of  “I have a friend who…” But even before he could speak again, IcyHot beat him to it.

 

“Are you longing for someone…?”

 

“I guess.” Izuku shrugged, his thumb wiping a smudge of hot choco from the side of his lip. IcyHot nodded, obviously trying to diagnose Izuku, which was funny because he now felt like a lab rat under observation.

 

“Is it someone I know?” IcyHot asked again.

 

Okay, this was getting tense.

 

“Maybe.”

 

He needed a choco shot.

 

“Is it Bakugou?”

 

IcyHot needed to be taught how to phrase questions and when to throw them because that one almost earned him a choco shot facial. Deku clamped his lips together, forcing the drink down his throat. What did it say about IcyHot that he looked both confused and amused as he slowly pushed a cup of water towards his choking friend?

 

“Uh. I…” Deku accepted the water being offered to him, drinking loudly before nervously putting the empty cup down. “I-I’m not saying it’s him , but w-what made you think that?”

 

“What do you mean?” IcyHot made a very confused face of “could-I-have-been-wrong” that reminded Deku of Endeavor’s genes existing in this person. “You have extreme tendencies when it comes to him. You do all sorts of things that don’t seem like yourself.”

 

Deku tilted his head.

 

“Like?”

 

“Like screaming in the lobby because one of the Daybreaker interns thought it was an awesome idea to prank you with a short joke of Ground Zero getting abducted.”

 

Deku paused to think back.

 

Oh, right. That did happen.

 

A year or so ago, some interns decided to play an April Fool’s prank on him. He was entering the lobby when they discreetly approached him and showed him a small note.

 

Please sit with us on the couch.

 

That seemed off, but he obliged quietly anyway. His guard was already up, his senses tingly that something was fishy.

 

Deku’s first instinct when he got to one side of the lobby was to ask what was wrong. But just before he opened his mouth, one of them murmured, “It’s Ground Zero, sir.”

 

He remembered his body going tense. Was it something Kacchan did or did something happen to Kacchan? Whichever the case, it didn’t seem like he would like it. But before he could even steel himself to ask what was it about Ground Zero , one of the others immediately whispered, “He’s in danger!”

 

Deku could feel himself shaking at that point, his blood rising as he asked, “What do you mean?”

 

“They have him!” Said another and that was when Deku just grabbed the intern by the front of his shirt, Quirk starting to manifest although still under control as he hollered, “WHO!?”

 

At that point, the interns knew they had played the wrong prank on the wrong person but Deku was too busy having flashbacks of Kacchan disappearing into a warpgate to see the scared faces in front of him. If Ingenium and IcyHot weren’t in the vicinity, god knew how much scarier things would’ve gotten.

 

Of course, Deku had absolutely no intention of hurting the children. But perhaps seeing him like that was too overwhelming for the young and aspiring Heroes. Maybe they didn’t expect Deku —the nice, smiling Deku— would suddenly turn into a mass of roaring worry because Ground Zero got abducted. Oh, but they were wrong. He almost lost Kacchan once and like hell he was going to lose him again.

 

At that time, he didn’t think that meant anything too special.

 

Now, to be fair, the interns didn’t know about how Deku was scarred with Kacchan’s abduction back when they were way younger. They just figured that Ground Zero and Deku were close so why not? Sure it was not an excuse, but, hey, it wasn’t done with ill intentions.

 

Not for Uravity, though.

 

Uraraka Ochacko was angry as all hell . She reprimanded the interns and took them to HR— afloat . That had been quite a sight. And while the interns didn’t get suspended, they did get sanctions. They also apologized to Deku who was more embarrassed about the outburst than any of them. He was told that the lady at the information area hid under her desk. Holy shit.

 

Thankfully, Kacchan was on a mission in the province when that happened. But when he got back, boy was he quite displeased and insulted that anyone would make a joke about him being kidnapped . Deku had to spend two full hours trying to stop him from giving the interns a piece of his mind or a taste of his Quirk.

 

Such was a time when Deku was more comfortable around Kacchan and not wanting his dick at inappropriate times.


“In my defense…” Deku began after a choco shot. “I still have rather vivid memories of a particularly related incident several years back. Besides, Ingenium screamed in the lobby, too.”

 

“Ingenium screamed because you did. You screamed because Kacchan. ” IcyHot was doing strange gestures with his fork. Izuku wondered who he picked that strange practice from. “Remember? You just activated your Quirk and—”

 

“I remember, IcyHot!” Deku exclaimed frustratedly. “I was there !”

 

“O-oh…” IcyHot had dropped the fork in mild surprise. “I see… I apologize.”

 

Argh, Deku was such a jerk. Maybe Kacchan’s tendency for outbursts was getting to him.

 

“Ah! No! I’m sorry!” Deku waved his hands, bowing in apology because he was being ridiculously unmannered. “I didn’t mean to come off as rude! I’m just—”

 

“It’s all right. I understand.” IcyHot smiled sincerely, which only made Deku feel guilty because he almost went Kacchan on this person. “We have our days.”

 

And then the King of Fanfiction lifted a hand to pat Deku on the head.  

 

“There, there.”

 

Aaawww, fuck, now he wanted to cry and tell IcyHot everything . Perhaps this was what the fanfiction writers were seeing—handsome, caring, perfect, rich, and charming. Deku was starting to understand.

 

“Whatever you’re going through, if you ever need someone to talk to, I want you to know I’m here.”

 

Deku smiled back at him sincerely this time.

 

“Thank you, Todoroki.”

 

“Always welcome.”

 

And then BAM.

 

Deku caught a whiff of very faint nitroglycerin in the air that made him instantly freeze up. That was immediately followed by Chargebolt’s cheery voice.

 

“Yo, Bakugou, mah maaaaaan!”

 

You mean my man!

 

Sassy internalizations aside, the name sent Deku’s head snapping towards the door, catching a glimpse of Kacchan glaring menacingly at him.

 

IcyHot’s hand was still on Deku’s head.

 

Meanwhile, Chargebolt was strutting from behind the angry blonde, one hand raised to slap Kacchan on the back or something and, oh, no, no, no, don’t do that. Kacchan’s shoulder literally made mini explosions before that hand landed on his shoulder. The Stun Gun Hero yelped in surprise—”Yo, what the hell!?”—withdrawing his hand as he jumped back.

 

“Kacchan…”

 

But before Deku could properly call out, the visibly agitated Explosion Hero shot him one disappointed look before turning to go.


Wait, no! Don’t leave yet!

 

“Kacchan!” Deku got up, his feet somehow getting tangled and, “—WAH!”

 

Deku didn’t really know who or what tripped him. All he knew was that his body decide to make friends with the floor. He was stumbled forward, eyes still trying to catch a glimpse of Kacchan because he was really so awesome with priorities. Walking? Posture? Balance? What was that?

 

So Deku lost coordination and decided to be a cafeteria tumbleweed amidst the sound of very surprised and worried people. His world shook and his wits spilled as he kept on spinning. It wasn’t a far distance to be honest, but, hey, embarrassing moments seemed to happen in slow motion because Satan had to be entertained somehow. It was thanks to the vending machine that it came to a stop. Poor thing caught him with a very loud bang as he felt it shake against his back.

 

Oh, god, he hoped he hadn’t dented it or that might be coming right off his paycheck.

 

“Midoriya!” IcyHot got up from his seat, not that Deku could see him. He was too dizzy either from all the motion, all his stupid, or both . He was guessing it was his stupid.

 

“Gah! Mido—” That was Chargebolt, suddenly pausing before dramatically screaming, “AAAAAA! MIDORIYA, WHAT HAPPENED!? OH MY GOD! IS THAT BLOOD!? ARE YOU BLEEDING!? DO WE NEED AN—ACK!”

 

“—The fuck outta the way.”

 

Kacchan’s hand had gripped Chargebolt by the face and pushed him aside so that his temple hit the door jamb.

 

But Deku couldn’t see any of that. All he could smell was nitroglycerin.

 

Kacchan. That was Kacchan.

 

“What?! Bleeding?!”

 

If breaking protocol summoned Ingenium, the need for first aid was the magic word to summon IcyHot. Deku could hear his boots squeak against the floor as he approached. Meanwhile, the people were starting to crowd around him near the vending, buzzing and asking if he was okay.

 

What the hell? They were all Heroes. What was taking them so long to actually help him ? Or was he dead? God, cosplaying a tumbleweed was not the way he wanted to go.

 

Oh, and his damn browser history.

 

His folders!

Ah! Where was his phone!


His stash!

 

Nooooooooooooo!

 

“Midoriya?” IcyHot knelt in front of him, hands cupping both his cheeks as mismatched eyes studied his face with concern. “Midoriya, are you—”

Move .”

 

A large gloved hand landed on IcyHot’s shoulder with a growl and flicked him back. The King of Fanfiction fell back awkwardly—”WHA!”—but Chargebolt caught him with ease, pulling him back like the blonde was expecting that to happen already.


“What hap—” Deku blinked, trying to still his senses as he blinked. His vision first focused on IcyHot who was across the room, sitting on the floor as Chargebolt grinned behind him.

 

“Eh?! Todoro—”

 

Hey.

 

Again, it was one syllable. But that was all that Kacchan needed to steal all of Deku’s attention.

 

Look at me.

 

Deku blinked again, eyes refocusing on the man kneeling in front of him. He took a deep inhale.

 

Nitroglycerin.

 

“Let me see you.”

 

Oh, you can anything me.

 

Deku wanted to kick his brain. Why was it always so inappropriate!?

 

Large hands held either side of his head, staring into his eyes—for first aid maybe, but Deku could dream—asking him questions that he could vaguely remember answering. None of them was “will you marry me” so perhaps they didn’t matter. The smell of nitroglycerin was far more important. Had it always been this sweet? Deku wanted press his nose onto Kacchan’s collarbone and take a deep, deep breath.

 

I missed you .

 

It had been less than a day. He knew. He was probably overreacting but he really didn’t care.

 

“You’re a fucking pro Hero , Deku.” Kacchan was saying now, obviously exasperated. “Stop being a god damn klutz.”

 

Deku blinked, trying not to smile so widely.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t look sorry, you fucking shit .” Kacchan glared at him but obviously not angry. He stood up and offered Deku a hand to help him to his feet. “Are you okay?”

 

Deku smiled widely this time.

 

“I am now!”

 

“The fuck does that mean?” Kacchan pulled him up and Deku fumbled with one step forward, bumping into the blonde man—Someone gasped. Who was that?—and Kacchan had to stop him by the shoulder to keep him from crashing face first into his wonderful, broad chest.

 

“Sor—”

 

Kacchan clicked his tongue and suddenly his hand was cradling Deku by the jaw, one big thumb swiping across his lips—

 

“The hell is this on your mouth, you stupid—”

 

Deku had not processed this pretty moment yet when the entire cafeteria then erupted into a crazy roar of jeers and cheers and roars and screams and possibly a person transforming into a banshee. But it was only then that both of them realized that they were not god damn alone !

 

“AAAH!”

“FUCK!”

 

They jumped back from each other just like the night they almost kissed, eyes unfocused, knees trembling, lips kind of feeling itchy. Kacchan was red in the face and down to his neck, obviously abashed and embarrassed and alarmed.

 

Ah. So he could make that face.

 

Cute.

 

“Wh-Wh— The hell ?!” Kacchan yelled at the jeering, clapping crowd, cameras on them like some sort of proposal just happened and Deku… Deku didn’t understand. Neither did he want to. He was so busily trying to absorb this new image of Kacchan he was seeing.

 

“Shut up! Why—Wha—What are you all—!”

 

Kacchan stomped a foot, growling loudly as he waved them all off.

 

“BAH! W-whatever! I don’t care!”

 

He glanced at Deku once before clamping his mouth closed and then proceeded to unceremoniously make his way through the crowd of still laughing, teasing, jeering people. Some were patting him on the back.

 

“Fuck you! Fuck all of you! He’s like that to everyone! I—You—GAH! I’m going out for patrol! Stupid assholes wasting taxpayers’ money with jeering!”

 

Oh.

 

Oh, he was leaving.

 

Wait, though! Deku hadn’t said anything yet!

 

“A-ah! K-Kacchan!”

 

And then the crowd of people parted for him. It was like that story where the slaves had to cross the sea and some god helped a prophet divide the waters. Wow. Deku must admit, this crowd was quite encouraging!

 

“T-t-t-take care, Kacchan!” He managed to squeak out, hands balled into nervous and trembling fists. “I… I… I’ll see you later!”

 

“Whatever, you fucking piece of shit!” Kacchan didn’t even look back at him. “I’ll kill you if you’re late, you fuckin’ Deku!”

 

“O-o-okay!”

 

But, ah, the man— his man—was getting closer to the cafeteria door. He’ll be gone again. Deku felt like he had to say something, that he’d missed so many chances already. He couldn’t do it when they were alone but maybe… Maybe…

 

When it was just the two of them, he always won, always on top. He was always the dominant one, the one calling the shots. But this time, it was different. He had never seen Kacchan make that precious jittery face before. At least never with Deku, never when they were alone.

 

So right now, maybe…

 

Maybe he could just...

 

“Kacchan!”

 

The crowd hushed . All heads silently turned to this Hero they called Ground Zero. He groaned and stopped, turning to look back at Deku with a not-so-convincing glare.

 

“What is it now?!”

 

The heads all turned back to Deku, filling the air with tension so thick, it almost made him want to run. But, no. Deku steeled himself again. He couldn’t see how Chargebolt was covering his mouth with one hand and gripping IcyHot’s forearm with the other.

 

“I…!”

 

Deku began, his voice croaking and a girl in the crowd went “Oh…!” Another went “Go…!” So Deku just took a deep breath and said whatever.

 

I missed you!

 

And just when he thought Kacchan couldn’t get any redder, he did .

 

“Wh—Wha—!”

 

There was a collective gasp from everyone before the entire cafeteria once again burst into a loud explosion of jeers and cheers and laughter and teasing and clapping and a possible stampede that would get all of them suspended. Explosions were coming out of Kacchan’s shoulders and palms, his face beet red and Izuku… Izuku felt like he wanted to sink into the floor but he stood there staring Kacchan down because like hell he wasn’t going to get a reply.

 

Kacchan’s red eyes faltered, clearly confused and unsure but not angry, no. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t running away.


“YOU MISS EVERYONE , YOU FUCKING NERD!” Kacchan hollered back, his voice cracking, too. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? YOU’RE JUST—!”

 

He turned to the entire room of cheering Heroes.

 

“SHUT UP! STOP WASTING TAXPAYER MONEY! FUCK YOU!”

 

And then he glanced at Deku again, opening his mouth to say something but thought better of it. Kacchan then stomped away, grumbling as he did.

 

That wasn’t the response Deku wanted, but it was a response he’d take.

 

For now.

 

As soon as Kacchan was out of sight, all the strength left Deku’s knees. And this time, he did let himself sink to the floor. Good god , what did he just do? His mind was screaming. His heart was thundering. His stomach was tumbling. And his dick was thankfully behaving .

 

People started rushing him right after, patting him on the back, asking questions he couldn’t process, and… Wait a minute, why was everyone like this ?!

 

“What just happened?” IcyHot asked Chargebolt. The blonde just made a fake, graceful laugh—”Ohoho.”—and leaned on the King of Fanfiction before gesturing to the fiesta that was currently happening in the cafeteria.


That , your highness,” He said with a pause for dramatic effect. “...Is the omegaverse.”

Chapter Text

Deku was sure Smackbang would have a strong opinion about the cafeteria incident this morning, but he didn’t expect him to literally wail so loud to make Deku think that Present Mic was fighting someone behind him in the lobby.

 

“Seeeeeeeeeeeeeenpaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiii!” The small boy scried (a mix of screamed and cried because Deku couldn’t figure out what it was exactly) as he grabbed Deku by the front of his costume and shook him. “Is it true!? Is it true!? Everyone’s talking about it!”

 

Oh, god. This again.

 

“Um…” Deku tried to gently remove Smackbang’s fingers from his costume before the material got torn apart. “W-which is…?”

 

Because seriously, the big cheering festival happened just this morning but almost every other Hero both present and absent during the happening was talking about it. Deku’s phone had almost run out of battery from all the messages he had received from his friends and classmates, asking him if it were true. It being The Incident™ whose number of versions was probably as many as the people who knew the story. Deku was at a loss at how something so simple would have so many ridiculously inaccurate retellings.

 

For instance, Ingenium had called him worriedly because he wanted to confirm how Deku was doing after allegedly “getting crushed by a vending machine”. What the hell!? Uraraka had gone as far as video calling Deku because “let’s see the ring”. The what !? Deku made the most undignified noise that was a cross between a squeal and a steam engine.

 

IcyHot and Chargebolt weren’t safe from interrogation either since they were there . Pinky was sending voice chats to everyone via LINE group chat, demanding an explanation of what happened and why. Hagakure had lost her shit and literally sent reaction pictures of her hands , which would’ve been better if they could actually see her reaction. Aoyama was typing in French . No one understood. Meanwhile, Mineta was screaming for someone to answer how X-rated the entire thing was and if any panties were involved. Deku decided not to ask what the hell that was about.

 

Suddenly, Deku’s shame was the talk of the entire building and was equivalent to a critical emergency. He didn’t want to think of what Kacchan was feeling about it. God, he was going to kill Deku. He was really going to kill Deku!

 

“They said Ground Zero picked a fight with IcyHot!” Smackbang was exclaiming now.

 

Oh. Deku’s heard that version. Kind of. There were multiple reasons for that “fight” depending on who was telling the story. The love triangle ones were kind of basic with third party drama involved. Some versions had Kacchan and IcyHot as boyfriends. Others had IcyHot and Deku. And then, of course, Deku and Kacchan. But then there were versions of all three of them being in one relationship triangle that was either falling apart or just forming depending on the storyteller.

 

It was a tad better than the three-man royal rumble waiting to happen between over who got to take home Chargebolt.

 

Deku was no longer sure if these people were telling stories or making headcanons.

 

“No. That’s not what happened.” Deku sighed.

 

“Then what happened!?” Smackbang asked, almost crying and Deku internally went “Same”.

 

Yeah, he’d like to know what manner of stupid evil possessed him to scream “I missed you” to Kacchan like a scene straight out of a shoujo manga. It seemed to be a good idea at the moment. Deku blamed the choco shots and the all-too-encouraging crowd. He wasn’t even sure why they were supportive of him and why they were happy for him. Some of them spoke to IcyHot, kind of trying to support him, too, which both Deku and IcyHot found confusing because all IcyHot did was tumble away after Kacchan decided to forcibly evict him from his spot.

 

“Move.”

 

Ah.

 

Deku could remember Kacchan’s voice. It was solid and dominant and rather possessive. If Deku didn’t know better, he’d think Kacchan was annoyed that IcyHot was touching him at all. Hnnngghh. He’d absolutely like that. Not that Deku was an unfaithful little idiot—Haha. Unfaithful? Were they boyfriends? Haha. So funny .—but he just liked the idea of Kacchan wanting him all for himself. Deku would have no problem roleplaying as Kacchan’s weak little anything if that meant those strong arms were—wait, did he just say he would be open to roleplaying!?

 

What was becoming of him!?

 

Perhaps it was good that the crowd screamed at them when Kacchan’s thumb wiped the chocolate off his lips. Oh, dear heavens, that small gesture made Deku’s knees turn into jelly and made his stomach bubble. His mind was at a tug-o-war between putting Kacchan’s gloved finger in his mouth or tiptoeing and kissing him once and for all. Deku wasn’t sure what he’d have done after that if the crowd didn’t intervene.

 

The whole thing was embarrassing. Other Heroes from outside the cafeteria came rushing in, worried that there was a villain attacking from how the floor rumbled with cheers and jeers. Someone had allegedly turned into a damn rhinoceros . No one would look at that cafeteria and figure that these people in costume were professional Heroes . They looked more like a mini cosplay convention whose audience just witnessed fanservice .

 

Argh. Deku hoped that a majority, if not all of them, were ZeKu shippers. They’d all be invited to the wedding and everyone would be required to submit something for ZeKu week. Deku wanted to scream .

 

“S-so there was no fighting?” Smackback asked after hearing the entire story, his hands balled into excited fists that had finally let go of Deku’s costume.

 

“Nope.” Deku shook his head.

 

“B-but… But why did you have to shout that you missed him?” Smackbang tilted his head.

 

Because chocolate bacteria ate my brain.

 

Part of Deku was wondering why Smackbang wasn’t bothered by this news. Wasn’t he pining for Kacchan? Weren’t they rivals? Deku didn’t know what to make of how he was blinking eagerly but at the same time disappointedly.

 

Ah, but why did Deku shout “ I missed you ”? Well, yeah, he knew he missed Kacchan, hence the sentence. He also knew why . What he couldn’t wrap his head around was if did he really have to be that extra? Shouting ? Really? In front of a crowd ? These were things that only happened in fanfiction . And Deku wasn’t in fanfiction of any sort.

 

What was he even thinking!?

 

And what was with the overly supportive people?! Sure, they were work colleagues but didn’t know each other enough to be hyper-encouraging!

 

If those Heroes started a flash mob, Deku wouldn’t know what he’d have done!

 

“I…” He began, scratching his head as his eyes fell to the floor to gather some courage before looking back up at Smackbang. “I hadn’t… I hadn’t seen him in a while and I missed…”

 

Deku shrugged. He’d narrated this reason many times already to multiple people but he still hadn’t gotten used to it.

 

“I just kinda missed him is all. I don’t know. That’s just… What I felt and…” He shrugged again. “And I said it.”

 

Smackbang looked at him and sighed, almost like he felt sorry for Deku and what the hell ? Who was this little boy feeling sorry for? He wasn’t rejected!

 

“I mean...” Deku pursed his lips and scratched his head again. “I mean, we are childhood friends, you know.”


Because, seriously, he was up one level. And they had a sleepover . With Kacchan in his underwear! Deku wanted to scream with pride, but there was no redemption from being the guy who screamed “ I missed you ” to his crush in the cafeteria to being the idiot who screeched “ I saw Kacchan in his sexy underwear ” to a newbie Hero in the lobby. He was in love , not possessed.

 

“Wh-what did he say!?” Smackbang interrogated further, eyebrows knotted like he just couldn’t let this go. “Did he miss you back?!”

 

I wish.

 

“He, um,” Deku chewed on his bottom lip and smiled wanly. “He basically told everyone to fuck off and left.”

 

Smackbang did not hold back from widening his eyes and making his jaw fall so heavily, Deku was worried about having to catch it. He stood there in disbelief, wheezing and open-mouthed like some arcade video game whose mechanics were as confusing as his expression. It lasted for a second or two before his hand heavily landed on Deku’s forearm as if it was his only way to anchor into this reality.

 

“And you’re telling me everyone let him leave?!” Smackbang’s voice was high-pitched and almost whistling with every word. “A room full of Heroes just let him walk away !?”

 

What should they have done? Ganged up on him?

 

“He isn’t a villain, Smackbang.”

 

“I know but…” Smackbang shrugged and scratched his head before doing a confused gesture, “I mean, wouldn’t you have wanted to hear what he had to say?!”

 

By all means, he did but Kacchan’s face threw him off. Deku had never seen that expression before. Kacchan was red to his neck and ears, lower lip trembling, and eyes wide with surprise and… and embarrassment. But not the bad kind. Deku couldn’t explain but… But Kacchan didn’t seem to hate the entire thing. And that was somehow good enough for the moment. Deku didn’t want to push his luck.

 

“Trust me, Smackbang…” Deku smiled. “If Kacchan had anything to say, he would’ve wasted no time saying it.”

 

Smackbang only made a small noise, grumbling ”I shoulda been there.” but didn’t press. And Deku was glad to have ended that conversation. He had a meeting at four and it was already three-forty.

 


 

 

The thick and tinted glass doors slid open with barely a noise as Deku stepped into one of HQ’s smaller meeting rooms. It had one round boardroom table made out of black glass surrounded by six large black leather chairs with arm rests. Proudly embossed on one side of the room was the large Heroes HQ logo.

 

IcyHot and Mind Hack were already in there when Deku arrived. Thank goodness it wasn’t just him and Kacchan or Deku would never know what to do or how to function if they were alone. They hadn’t seen or spoken to each other since The Incident™ and he was still all sorts of anxious about it. Thinking back, he seemed more shaky than angry at the cafeteria, but now that Deku had calmed down, he wasn’t sure if he was just imagining that.

 

Maybe Kacchan was angry. Or awkward.

 

Or maybe he figured out Deku’s crush— highly likely —and now didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Deku wanted to run to the cafeteria and stuff comfort food in his face.

 

“Good afternoon, Deku.” Mind Hack said as he crossed his fingers on the table. Ah. It felt nostalgic seeing him again. His messy indigo hair still fanned up eerily, reminding Deku a little of how Aizawa-sensei looked like when his Quirk was active. The stoic air around Mind Hack hadn’t changed and so did the way his calm, scrutinizing eyes followed Deku as he walked across the room to settle on the chair next to IcyHot who was sitting properly with square shoulders and hands on his lap.

 

“Good afternoon.” Deku said with a smile as he adjusted in his seat.

 

“I hope you are feeling well.” Mind Hack said. Deku noted his eyebags and wondered if he was starting to look like that. Not that it was a horrible appearance but he really didn’t think he could rock that. Also, Kacchan wouldn’t like it.

 

“I’m okay.” Deku shrugged.

 

“That was quite the kerfuffle in the cafeteria.” Mind Hack smiled back and Deku wanted to swallow himself because how did this person even know what happened? He went to work at UA . He was only here for the meeting. How did he know!? Who else knew? Aizawa-sensei? Headmaster Nezu? The Prime Minister? Alien life on other planets?

 

“W-well…” Deku didn’t know what to say anymore because he wasn’t in the mood to discuss yet another possible version of this story while IcyHot was here. “It was… er… Yeah, quite the happening.”

 

“I know . I was there .” Mind Hack’s smile was not leaving his face and Deku was having flashbacks of every lie reveal Aizawa-sensei had done in the past. Eh? He was there ? That was this morning! What was he doing here at HQ that early!? And why didn’t he even approach any of them? What was he observing?

 

Truly following in the footsteps of Aizawa-sensei, maybe?

 

Just as Deku was starting to pray for something to interrupt, the large glass doors slid open and in came the only person that Deku didn’t-want-but-really-wanted to see right now.

 

“Ground Zero.” IcyHot was the first to speak. Kacchan’s red eyes quickly scanned their faces, barely glancing at Deku before marching towards the table. Deku’s heart seemed to be trying to beat into the rhythm of Kacchan’s every step. He could feel his cheeks starting to feel warm. The tips of his fingers started to become tingly and there was this urge to hide under the table. Kacchan heavily dropped himself on the seat next to a very quiet Mind Hack who only addressed him with his eyes.

 

The room fell silent .

 

Awkward.

 

Deku was wearing five hundred invisible layers of discomfort. It was almost like he could feel his fingernails grow per second in an effort to pay attention to anything but the strange tension in the room.

 

Mind Hack was simply observing them all like a creepy, sleepy bird or something while IcyHot just sat there staring at the table surface. How he did that for long periods of time, Deku really couldn’t care right now. He was too busy trying not to be affected by Kacchan who was literally glaring at the space between him and IcyHot before. When he lifted his red  eyes, he caught Deku blinking at him and as if to add a dash of stupid to a mountain of already existing stupid, Deku only realized he was staring at Kacchan when their eyes met.

 

“A-ah…!” Deku exclaimed and Kacchan only clicked his tongue as he looked away, a pink hue tainting his cheeks. Mind Hack chuckled very softly and it was only then that IcyHot started picking up on something being odd before he started to discreetly-but-not-really observe Kacchan and Deku. The Explosion Hero leaned back heavily and crossed his arms, glaring at the table before closing his eyes, still with a frown.

 

More minutes of pure silence passed with nothing but the barely audible humming of the air conditioning to keep the paranoid and occasionally lewd voices in Deku’s head company. He was already seriously contemplating if he should excuse himself to pretend to go to the bathroom when the glass doors opened again and in came sunshine personified.

 

“Hello, everyone!” Lemillion’s voice and smile immediately lit up the room and dissipated whatever tension was in the air with every bounce in his step. His red cape flowed behind him, the number “1,000,000” gleaming with his persona. Everyone stood up to greet him, but the man only laughed and gestured for them to sit down. Kacchan plopped heavily back down on his seat, his chair creaking as it caught him. Deku caught him glaring at IcyHot again before averting his gaze to Lemillion who took the seat between IcyHot and Mind Hack.

 

“So…!” Lemillion grinned, taking time to stare and nod at each one of them. “I’m glad everyone could make it!”

 

The three other men in the room responded with various sounds of agreement.

 

“Ahh, you guys!” He exclaimed, pointing with criss crossing fingers at Deku and Kacchan who only blinked as he kept taking. “You guys okay? I heard what happened in the cafeteria!”


For a split second, Kacchan looked very confused before he looked very angry and then very embarrassed. Deku felt his face heat up as well. His eyes immediately fell to his own hands on the table, but he didn’t fail to catch the nice blush on Kacchan’s cheeks.

 

Deku realized he liked that so much. If it were up to him, he’d like to be the only cause of Kacchan’s blushing from now on.

 

IcyHot made a very low sound. Lemillion just went “Eh?” before he started looking at them one by one again, trying to figure out what had suddenly happened.

 

“What?” He asked before turning to Mind Hack when no one answered. “What is it!? What am I not getting!?”

 

Deku really wasn’t sure what version of the story Lemillion heard, but he was willing to bet that now wasn’t the time to discuss it. And it wasn’t just because they were supposed to be having a meeting. It was because Kacchan was in the room and Deku didn’t just want to deal with this yet.

 

“I-it’s nothing important, Mir—Lemillion…!” Deku mumbled for the sake of having to say something. He quickly glanced at Kacchan who he again caught glaring at IcyHot for only a brief moment. Whether or not IcyHot was noticing that, Deku didn’t have enough presence of mind to check.

 

“What!? No way!” Lemillion shook his head and turned to IcyHot. “Come on! Tell me! What is it!? I feel left out!”

 

“A-ah…!” IcyHot blinked at him, opening his mouth to obviously start giving an oral report on the cafeteria because that’s how he understood it right now. Deku immediately realized that he needed a retelling of that from anyone else’s point of view. Also, someone should save this man from being contaminated by Ingenium’s eccentric approaches in life.

 

“I saw everything.” Mind Hack finally spoke up with a small laugh. “I can tell you all I’ve witnessed once the meeting is over.”

 

Lemillion made a face as his dark eyes squinted at the indigo-haired man.


“Over drinks?”

 

Mind Hack raised an eyebrow.

 

“You’re buying?”

 

Lemillion laughed loudly and hit the table twice with his palm before going, “ Suneater says yes!”

 

A very amused Mind Hack then smiled and nodded with a shrug, “Well, then.”

 

Lemillion laughed again.

 

Deku blinked dumbly. Wow. Watching that exchange took Deku back to his first year at UA. He remembered facing Mind Hack—then known only as Shinsou Hitoshi—in the first round of the UA Sports Festival where Deku almost lost due to his own carelessness. But Shinsou’s story didn’t end there. Soon after the festival, the was trained by Aizawa-sensei himself to become the kind of hero who didn’t have to rely on physical strength alone.

 

Through both of their research, training, and hard work, Shinsou was able to develop a fighting style that allowed him to trigger his Quirk by provoking certain reactions from the human body. Apparently, he wasn’t just limited to being reliant on his target answering questions. It was, in fact, his target’s state of mind that allowed him to use his Quirk in a variety of ways. He was allegedly able to do many other things aside from Brainwashing depending on the reaction he elicited from his target. Whether or not that was true, neither Shinsou nor Aizawa-sensei ever confirmed. In a way, it was like working in the shadows. Such an Eraserhead thing to do. Since then, Shinsou, or rather, Mind Hack , had come a long. Today, he was the right hand man of one of UA’s branch masters, Aizawa Shouta.

 

Lemillion, on the other hand, didn’t have it easy. After having lost both his mentor and his Quirk from a raid on Overhaul’s mafia base of operations, he had to struggle to find his place in the academy. He was always smiling and sunny, doing his best not to live up to Sir Nighteye’s expectations of him, Deku was not stupid to think that he wasn’t suffering. He’d lost his mentor and his Quirk. And while Deku knew what it was like to be the only Quirkless child in a class full of children with their own amazing Quirks, he honestly had no idea how it felt to actually lose a Quirk that one had trained so hard to use and refine.

 

Losing a mentor, though… He didn’t understand it at that time.

 

Right now, he still wasn’t sure if he understood it at all.

 

Deku glanced up at Kacchan.

 

“He’s not dead. We’re not going to let him die.” He remember Kacchan telling him, his voice echoing. “No one wants to want him to die so he’s going to live. Do you understand me, Deku?”

 

He did.

 

If Lemillion could stand back up after all that hardship, so could Deku.

 

It was all thanks to Eri’s hard work and cooperation with Endeavor’s research team that they managed to find a way to bring back Lemillion’s quirk. Endeavor, of all people. His son had lost his shit at the news that his father was working to help a child with dealing with her Quirk. IcyHot was almost glued to that operation, keeping a close eye on both his father and Eri, who he had somewhat become close to over time. She was close to Mind Hack, too, probably because she was staying at Eraserhead’s UA branch as one of their resident nurses. She still had ways to go, though, but with the support she was receiving, Deku didn’t doubt she would get to where she wanted.

 

There was much rejoicing when Lemillion regained his Quirk. Deku could remember Suneater being literally in tears, crying more than anyone else before he started crouching on the ground in an attempt to cope and then lost consciousness under the bed. Everyone was worried but Lemillion just laughed and told everyone to leave him there. They said Lemillion crept under the bed to lie down next to him after everyone had left the room.

 

Of course, not everything was smooth sailing from there. Lemillion had to undergo therapy to get back on track but he—Togata Mirio—was a man with a dream. Fearless and daunting in his own dazzling way, he was determined to save a million people perhaps not from villains or accidents, but from the harsh distortions of society. And that was how he got to where he was now—the Head of Hero Education.

 

Deku’s thoughts were interrupted when the lights turned off after Lemillion reached under the table and clicked a switch. The black glass table slowly lit up, briefly flashing the Heroes Alliance logo in the middle as he explained the nature of their meeting.

 

“So, let’s cut to the chase.” Lemillion said as the a progress bar loaded across the table. “UA is in need of two people to substitute for two of their professors.”

 

Three-dimensional holographic panels appeared in front of everyone with listed information and an image of two men—male Heroes—in costume. Their names were listed as GeoGrid and Space Shift but their Quirks were not available. Deku wondered why but didn’t press. Perhaps it was unnecessary for this meeting.

 

“They teach tactical and combat coordination subjects.” Mind Hack explained. Deku nodded, eyeing a the course syllabus. It seemed they were a duo who had been working together for a decade since they graduated.

 

“What happened to them?” Kacchan asked, tapping on the light panel, which generated a slowly rotating 3D image of the UA instructors. Kacchan leaned forward and made an upward claw-like gesture with his hand, turning it like he would do with a jar lid. The 3D image of the UA instructors started rotating in the same way that Kacchan’s hand moved.

 

Wah! Cool!

 

Deku shamelessly gawked at the 3D UA instructors before he looked back at his own panel.

 

I want that 3D thing, too. How’d he do that?

 

He frowned, wondering which of these non-labeled buttons did its thing before IcyHot reached over and tapped a tiny circle at the lower right of the screen and up went the 3D image.

 

All the coolness!

 

“Thanks.” He mouthed at IcyHot who only smiled back. Deku excitedly went back to looking at the 3D Hero hologram in front of him, but not before Kacchan tried to stab him with one solid glare before clicking his tongue, and looking away. He waved the 3D holographic Heroes off his panel like he’d lost all interest in anything about them.

 

Eh? What the hell? Was he the only one who was allowed 3D images? Did he have to be so competitive over this?

“Well, it’s nothing serious.” Mind Hack replied casually. “It’s just that Space Shift is going to give birth much much sooner than they had anticipated.”

 

That made Deku’s ears pick up. Oh, that’s right. Switch procedures had been a thing for a year now.

 

Thanks to a medical procedure called Switching, same sex couples were now able to conceive children without needing a surrogate parent. Switching was a method that involved periodical injection of Switch cells to temporarily change a person’s gender into the opposite sex while retaining the rest of the person’s genetic make-up for the purpose of conceiving a child. Male-to-female Switches were referred to as M2F while female-to-male were referred to as F2M. F2M Switches lasted for varying durations depending on the situation or capacity of the patient. For M2F Switches that maged to conceive, the body would change back to its original gender after the child had been born.

 

In some M2F Switches, however, the patient’s body had a tendency to revert back into a male mid-pregnancy, which was dangerous both for the mother and the child. This was called an Anatomical Quibble. And that was exactly what happened to Space Shift. Thankfully, the doctors managed to keep the Quibbling in check. At the moment, he and the baby were no longer in danger but they had to stay in the hospital for monitored bed rest. As such, GeoGrid had to be there at all times not only for emotional support, but also for making important decisions should Space Shift be rendered unconscious or unable to communicate.

 

Wow, that was… quite scary.

 

But on the other hand, awww, a Hero duo couple! And they were going to have a baby! Aaaaaawwww! Deku couldn’t help the smile crawling across his face as he thought of them having a cute family of Heroes that served the people before dinner time or something like that. They’d have a cute little baby wearing hero costumes complete with a cape and tiny support gear!

 

“A Hero duo couple!” Deku almost squealed as he turned to the man next to him. “Isn’t that cute?”

 

“It is.” IcyHot effortlessly flashed that naturally charming smile that earned him the title of King of Fanfiction. For one full second, all Deku could think of was how this moment right here was probably the dream of every IcyHot fan.

 

This is why they let him fuck everyone including himself in fanfics.

 

“Yeah, so cutesy stuff aside...” Kacchan’s solid voice smashed whatever Deku’s mind was currently on. “You need us as subs?”

 

“Only until GeoGrid and Space Shift return.” Mind Hack tapped on his holographic panel and pulled up two more holographic Heroes for them to look at. These two had no names and Deku wasn’t aware of who they were. Now that made the nerd in him itch. Ah, he had less time to research and take notes compared to when he was in high school. Why didn’t he know these guys? When did they enlist? What were their Quirks? From what generation? Oh, maybe they were serving in other UA branches.

 

“We’ve already requested for subs two months ago. It was all approved, too, but we didn’t really expect the Quibbling to force both Space Shift and GeoGrid into leave.” Mind Hack was saying now as he leaned back and crossed his arms. “The subs who were supposed to take this job are currently on at least a month-long mission and Eraserhead didn’t really want to wait that long.”

 

An understandable decision. A day of subpar self-study class for any subject was bad. A week of it was unacceptable. A month would be an outrage . Deku could see why this mattered enough to Eraserhead. The nature of the request on such short notice was also reason enough to send his right hand man to deal with the issue and make decisions on his behalf.

 

It was at this point that they were informed of how Eraserhead chose Kacchan and Deku himself.

 

Everyone knows they make the perfect duo.” Mind Hack said as he eyed the both of them. “But Eraserhead also commented that they were the perfect pair to teach students about working together and overcoming differences.”

 

Deku was flattered . Part of him internally wondered if there was any chance he could get Aizawa-sensei to ship them until he had a flashback of their recent call and, well, maybe not. His eyes turned to Kacchan if only to look at his reaction but the blonde was more interested in adjusting the sleeves on his nicely toned arms and… And that was all it took for Deku’s very perverted brain to generate a scenario of getting bent over this table and fucked by a shirtless Kacchan with his pants down his thighs, gloves on his hands, and those nice stretchy sleeves on his arms and— Ooooooh-kay!? Did his brain really have to be inappropriate now !? With three other men in the room!? Was this how polyships were formed? Well, then, he wasn’t interested! It was Kacchan or no one!

 

Deku wasn’t aware how he crossed his arms and pouted as he leaned back.

 

But wait…

 

Did this mean… Did this reassignment mean he would be working with Kacchan all the time ? With a class of teenagers ? Wouldn’t that… Wouldn’t that be like playing house? Okay, maybe not really because that would be too many children and they wouldn’t really be living in the same house with all of—Ah! The dorms! Would… Would he and Kacchan stay in the same dorm?

 

In the same room!?

 

On the same bed!?

 

Okay, so same bed was probably a stretch but the thought of bunking in a room with Kacchan was enough to make Izuku excited and tingly . He thought back to their recent sleepover and immediately ran an imaginative slideshow of Kacchan in different kinds and colors of sleepwear and underwear with some pole dan—Wait, pole dancing!? Where did that come from!? This was not the right time and place to have such ridiculously Explicitly-rated  thoughts tagged with crack that would incite a revolution from his dick!

 

“Excuse me,” IcyHot raised a finger for attention. Deku strived to listen to keep his mind away from all the roommate AUs that were screaming in his mind.

 

“If only Ground Zero and Deku are needed, why am I here, then?”

 

Mind Hack took time to take a deep breath before leaning forward, lacing his fingers with one another. For a moment there, Deku was reminded of his Quirk.

 

“Well, since this request was made on such short notice, we do understand that some issues might arise.” The Brainwashing Hero spoke calmly, his tone barely changing from when this meeting started. “So on the event that we decide on this meeting that either Ground Zero or Deku can’t sub, we were hoping IcyHot would team up with one of them.”

 

Still reasonable, Deku thought, but it was ruining his roommate AU plot. It was a stupid plot hole—okay, no, it wasn’t, but Deku didn’t know what to call it so whatever—and he knew that the mere presence of IcyHot would immediately give such a story a lot of hits, comments, and possibly fanart, but this was not Deku’s OTP.

 

Please stop ruining this for me, Mind Hack. What is wrong with you?

 

“But just to be clear.” Kacchan spoke up. “Deku and I were Aiz—Eraserhead’s first choice?”

 

Yuuuussss, fight for us, Kacchan.

 

Now Deku didn’t really know what face he was making but it was probably weird given the strange look Mind Hack was giving him as he answered, “That is correct.”

 

Deku blinked himself to attention. He was getting distracted. Focus. Focus on work.

 

“Hmm.” Lemilion rested his head on his hand as he leaned forward thoughtfully. “I take it the students haven’t been informed of who their potential subs will be yet?”

 

“That was the plan, but then…” Mind Hack sighed heavily and waved like a very exhausted father. “You know teenagers. When the students figured out that we were probably getting a pair of subs from the TwiGens, they not-so-discreetly let us know about their… opinion.


Deku mentally hit the table with his fist and internally screamed, “SHIPPERS!”

 

He didn’t know how he knew. He just did .

 

“Well, that sounds promising .” Lemillion’s smile was very intrigued, curious, and amused. “What happened?”

 

Deku seconded that question. He’d like to know the due process of electing the winning ship in Eraserhead’s UA branch.

 

“Ahh…” Mind Hack rubbed his forehead and frowned like he was currently having war flashbacks. “Where do I even begin?”

 

Deku took a deep breath because here we go .

 

So when the students somehow figured out the possibility of getting a pair of TwiGen subs, the shippers rose to take matters into their own hands. Someone took to Grumblr and started a page called the TwiGen Ship Sub Selection, which was basically month long shipping tournament.

 

Deku had never heard of such a thing but part of him was glad he existed.

 

Listed in brackets were different pairs—You mean ships. Deku thought—pitted against each other. The students voted on the pairs they would like to win per round. Each winning pair would then move on to the next round against another winning pair, commencing another round of voting until only one ship remained.

 

Wow.


Were alumni allowed to vote? Because Deku was totally on board with that.

 

It wasn’t the voting that gave Eraserhead migraines, however. It was the campaign . There were flyers and cheerleaders and information kiosks and talks . Students were giving out pamphlets in front of the school gate and in hallways. Good lord, there were meetings and even debates . Oh, discourse ? Deku hadn’t really delved into any Grumblr discourse but wouldn’t that be a sight on stage? Maybe he should really get around to checking out those long as hell post discussions.

 

But back to Mind Hacks narration, what was even more confusing, if not disturbing to the faculty was the promotional material.

 

When the voting began, the poses of the pairs were nice and wholesome. That was one reason why the school allowed the students to proceed with this entire voting shenanigan. It looked to be all fun and games and creative expression. But as the competition became fiercer, it started to look less than a game and more of a political erotica war campaign. The drawings, photo manipulations , and captions became more and more suggestive. Not only that, cases of bullying were started to be reported, which was the most ridiculous thing that Deku had heard. Bullying over ships ? What sane person would do that? It got to the point where Eraserhead himself had to make a school-wide announcement to address the issue once and for all.


Deku swallowed hard.

 

Now you’ve done it, UA.

 

According to the rather pissed off branch master, the only reason he was allowing the pairing tournament to keep going was for the sake of creative freedom. He then made it clear that this whole festive selection process was not , in any way, going to affect the appointment of the subs. However, if the students insisted on their rather barbaric behavior of disregarding common decency and respect for other people, he would make everything go away .

 

He stressed on the word everything .

 

According to Mind Hack, the students toned down greatly after that warning because “they probably wanted to see their event through the end”. But Deku felt like it wasn’t it. If there was one thing they all learned from Eraserhead being an authoritative figure, it was that if he seriously told you to stop, you’d better stop or else. When he did bluffs, it was funny and relieving, but when he delivered on his threats, there would be hell to pay and no one was safe—Nothing and no one.

 

Not even imaginary relationships.

 

Eraserhead was not the man any shipper would want gunning to sink their ship. That was the reason the students stopped. It wasn’t the cancellation of their event. It was the fear of Eraserhead erasing their OTP off the face of the planet. Sure, there was a chance that he couldn’t or wouldn’t do it, but would anyone be willing to risk? Deku was sure as hell he wasn’t risking his ZeKu, DeRo, or KatZuku with the wrath of that man.

 

“So…” Kacchan’s voice dragged Deku back to reality. “Who won?”

 

“Hmm.” Deku held his breath as Mind Control thought back. “If I’m not mistaken, it was Ground Zero and IcyHot.”

 

Kacchan could be heard clicking his tongue loudly as he mumbled a small curse.

 

Deku, on the other hand, did not hold himself back from taking a very sharp and offended gasp, which was probably what prompted Mind Hack to add, “For a reason that has nothing to do with skill .”

 

Well, yes . Deku knew that . This wasn’t about skill to begin with but did they think this was a game ? Ground Zero and IcyHot !? Sure, ship and let ship, but that didn’t mean Deku couldn’t feel outraged . Why did IcyHot have to take everything—Ice, fire, Kacchan... Everything !

 

“On what basis, then, if not skill?” The King of Fanfiction had the guts to ask and Deku had to stop himself from screaming, “It’s based on your pretty face!” But Mind Hack had a rather more accurate answer.

 

“On feelings.

 

Inner Deku was screaming, “ACCURATE! REBLOG IF YOU AGREE!” Meanwhile, IcyHot made a bewildered noise.

“I… I don’t understand.”

 

Mind Hack only smiled and leaned forward ominously, his face darkening as he murmured, “You’re lucky.”

 

Preach!

 

“Question.” Kacchan raised a hand. Lemillion nodded at him. “Are we staying in dorms?”

 

Good question!

 

“Whichever you prefer.” Mind Hack said with a nonchalant shrug, which was the total opposite of Deku’s pulse rate learning a speed Quirk of its own. “Eraserhead isn’t particular with where you are staying or what you’re doing so long as you manage to fulfill the duties given to you without tarnishing the vision, mission, and goal of our beloved Alma Mater.”

 

That bit about Eraserhead not caring about whatever they do made Deku’s mind go on a wild rampage of pulling out every roommate and college AU he had ever read. References. He needed references. What kind of room? What kind of bed? What to do if they got bunk beds? How thick were the walls? Did they have curfew?

 

Oh, damn, he’d have to buy sleepwear. Ah. Should he buy new underwear? Just in case? Did Kacchan like frilly ones? He didn’t have any idea. All he knew was blindfolds, collars, and nip—And then it hit him.

 

Lube .

 

Deku held his breath to keep himself from screaming. Anyone who looked into his mind right now wouldn’t think he was preparing to pack for a dormitory as an instructor . Hell, he wasn’t even sure why he was thinking this way. They weren’t boyfriends. They haven’t even kissed. Or held hands.

 

But, hey, Deku could dream. And it never hurt being prepared.

 

“Which does Eraserhead prefer?” Kacchan asked again. “Which works best for the situation?”

 

What?! What was this man talking about !? What’s best for the—Mind Hack already said it was up to them ! The situation didn’t care. UA didn’t care. Eraserhead didn’t care. Mind Hack didn’t care. So now the concern should be what was best for the ship! Why was this so difficult!?

 

These normies! Deku pouted internally.

 

“Either is fine.” Mind Hack didn’t even pause to consider. “It makes no difference. The branch master has no opinion regarding this as long as you deliver.”

 

Kacchan nodded, still in thought. There was a moment of silence before Lemillion spoke up again.

 

“So… What’ll it be?”

 

Still, no one answered.

 

What the hell? Why wasn’t Kacchan saying anything? Why was he just sitting there with his arms crossed over his broad chest as he glared at the table in contemplation? What was he even considering? They already had a sleepover! Mother Nature and destiny itself prepared them for this. All that happened that night was to prepare for this moment!

 

Why couldn’t he see that!?


What did Deku have to do!? Slap him with a soulmate AU!?

 

Deku felt the need to go first.

 

“I’m fine with it.”

 

Kacchan’s eyes immediately snapped at him like he wasn’t expecting that. Deku held his stare for a while before pretending to care about the holographic panel in front of him.

 

“Okay. So that’s one.” Lemillion pointed at Deku with a pen before pointing at Kacchan. “And you?”

 

Deku tried so hard not to make it obvious that he was barely breathing. Kacchan took a deep inhale as he leaned back, making a contemplative noise as he tilted his head.

 

Huh? Why was he doing that? Wasn’t he going to say yes ? Just say yes!

 

“Well, if it’s teaching about teams and whatsh— whatnot …” He began slowly and Deku wanted so much to just grab his jaw and just force a yes or no out of his mouth.

 

It’s yes. Just say yes , god damn it, Kacchan!

 

“I mean, it’s like this…” Kacchan leaned forward, gesturing between the both of them as if that meant something. “Him and me… While it’s true that we do have a significant level of sync, we haven’t worked as a pair in a while and I’m not sure how that’ll affect teaching the students.”

Deku frowned.

 

What the hell did that mean ?

 

Lemillion nodded.

 

Huh? And what did that nod mean?

 

IcyHot made a small noise.

 

No, IcyHot. You are not going to sink this ship with your presence. No.

 

“And, also, sure, I have no problem dealing with a bunch of kids, but…” Kacchan leaned back again on his chair, making a face before he continued with a wave of his hand. “Let’s face it, I’m not really cut for teaching.”

 

Deku’s internal voice shrieked so loud and shrill, it would’ve broken all glass objects within a fifty-kilometer radius.

 

This.

 

Absolute.

 

Son of a—

 

“So what are you saying?” Deku’s question was quick and sharp, his eyes narrowed at Kacchan because what the hell ? Why did it feel like he was making a constant effort not to be with Deku? He shouted “I missed you” in front of a crowd of people literally just hours ago . What did he get from that? Wasn’t it clear that Deku wanted to at least spend time with him? Kacchan was not an idiot. So did that mean Kacchan doing this on purpose!? He just didn’t care!? What was his deal!?

 

Or did he not… Did he not want to…?

 

Did he not feel the same way as Deku did?

 

Oh.

 

Oh dear…

 

Oh god, don’t make me realize this now.

 

“I’m saying…” Kacchan glared back at him as he leaned forward, palms sliding on the table like that was going to stress his pointless point . “Go with someone you’d like to go with so you can teach properly.”

 

Deku wanted to maim him with a chair.

 

He also wanted to cry.

 

“Well, I’m fine with anyone.” Deku told Mind Hack and Lemillion but was looking at Kacchan. “I can work with anyone if strive to.”

 

“Doesn’t have to be me, then.”

 

“That is not what I said.”

 

Was he picking a fight!? What did he want!?

 

I miss you! Deku thought angrily. I already said it! Do you really not want me !?

 

“Besides,” Kacchan turned to Lemillion. “Who’s going to man my patrol zone?”

 

“That will be discussed after we’ve settled the substitution matter.” Lemillion responded quickly, glancing back and forth at the two of them. “Or do you need that information before you can decide?”

 

“Not really.” Kacchan shook his head before nodding at IcyHot. “How ‘bout you?”

 

Wha—What!? Why was he asking IcyHot !? They were the first options! What the hell , Kacchan!?

 

“I have no problem teaching if I would still have time for my advocacies and HQ responsibilities.” IcyHot said calmly.

 

“Time management is up to you.” Came Mind Hack’s simple reply. “We only need a proposal of how you plan to do it.”

 

Mind Hack sounded bored. And that made two of them because Deku was both bored and agitated with all of Kacchan’s shenanigans. Lemillion then tapped a pen on his chin as if waiting for someone to speak up. When no one did, the Head of Hero Education decided to go first.

 

“So is it IcyHot and Deku, then?”

 

Okay, so what was a formal, diplomatic, and mature way of saying, “No, because that is not my ship”.

 

But then Kacchan spoke up with a very distinct nod at Deku.

 

“Let him choose.”

 

And then it clicked.

 

Oh, this stupid prideful Kacchan.

 

So… So that’s what he wanted? He wanted to be chosen ? Was that it? Please, let that be it. Deku wasn’t in the right mind to deal with passive-aggressive rejection in the middle of a meeting.

 

“I’m fine with anyone,” Deku said calmly as he leaned back on his chair, relief washing over some of his doubts and worries. “But let’s go with Ground Zero and me.”

 

“Why?” Kacchan asked, not at all fazed or sounding pleased.

 

Because I ship us, you idiot.

 

“We were the first choice.” Deku replied simply because he didn’t want to sound too eager. “Ai—Eraserhead knows what he’s doing. And I trust his judgment.”

 

And he ships us, I bet. I hope. Please, god.

 

“I agree.” IcyHot nodded and Deku internally went, “The Fanfiction King has spoken!

 

At this point, Lemillion turned to Kacchan.

 

“Your thoughts?”

 

Deku bit his lip, mentally praying to all existing gods to not give Kacchan another reason to sink this damn ship that he was rowing all alone already.

 

“I’m cool with that, yeah.”

 

Yaaaaaaaaay! This ship is going to—

 

“But I’m not staying in the dorms.”

 

—WHAT?!

 

But before Deku could say anything, the agenda moved to the patrol zone turn over.

 

Wait! Wait, noooooooooo!

 

“So HR has already prepared two patrol subs for you two.” Lemillion waved his hand over the holographic panel in front of him, changing everyone else’s as he did. Deku wasn’t ready to skip to the next topic yet, but, okay. It’s not like he had a choice. Maybe he could talk Kacchan about it later. He was just going to focus on the current agenda in front of him.

 

Turnovers were usually done in two stages. First stage would be the personal tour. The previous patrolling Hero would do their rounds with the new designated Hero. This was to show them around the area and give necessary pointers as well as introduce them to the neighborhood if necessary. The second phase would be finalizing the paperwork.

 

Yoarashi Inasa was going to take cover Kacchan’s zone. Well, that was easy. Yoarashi was an experienced Hero. It would be no problem for Kacchan to turn over his zone. Just a day or two of personal tour and then it’s paperwork time. Deku’s side on the other hand, was going to take a little longer.

 

He was turning his zone over to Smackbang.

 

Smackbang was a novice. Deku would have to do rounds with him for a week to show him the ropes and guide him better. Sure, this was something that was supposed to be learned as an intern, but the new system would rather be careful.

 

“HR says he’s been performing well.” Lemillion was looking over Smackbang’s records on the holographic panel in front of him. “So we’d like him to take an area. He had rounded your zone recently, albeit with a partner, so why not?”

 

“O-okay.”

 

Because, really, Deku had no choice.

 

It would take them two weeks tops to conclude turnovers. Mind Hack said that UA wouldn’t have a problem holding out on their tactical and combat coordination subjects until then.

 

“Well, then! That’s decided!” Lemillion leaned back and reached under the table again and hit a switch. The holographic images died out and the ceiling lights turned on. Deku blinked as his eyes tried adjusting to the light.

 

“We patrol turnover in two weeks and then it’s off to UA for both of you gentlemen.”

 

Everyone got up.

 

“And that’s it!” Lemillion clapped. “Meeting adjourned!”

Chapter Text

Izuku came home feeling physically and emotionally beat from a very exhausting day. He had never felt this this kind of paranoia in his life. Without bothering to turn on the lights, Izuku dropped his bag on the floor, closed the door, kicked off his shoes, and let himself fall face down onto the bed with a soft thump.

 

“Kacchan hates me.” Izuku mumbled as he reached for his pillow.

 

Walking out of the meeting room earlier today was kind of awkward. Izuku wasn’t sure if he was really just being paranoid but he felt like all eyes were on him. Never mind that he was with IcyHot, Lemillion, and Mind Hack. It seemed to him that the only thing everyone noticed was how he was walking out with Ground Zero while mumbling about what happened in the cafeteria. But then again, yeah, he could only be paranoid . Or just anxious. Or both. Maybe because Kacchan had this air around him that made Izuku feel… distanced? From the time the left the meeting room and up to the moment he stepped out of the elevator, Kacchan had not spoken or even looked Izuku’s way.

 

And that kind of hurt.

 

The Incident™ was a mistake. He shouldn’t have screamed like that. For all he knew, he might have scared Kacchan away. Izuku, of all people, should know that the man had been doing his best to cope with his issues and one of the things he needed was space . Large amounts of irregular space. Getting bombarded with awkward situations that required him to show a side that he wasn’t used to dealing with was stressful.

 

Wasn’t that why Izuku practiced distancing himself from Kacchan from every so often? It was to make sure that Kacchan didn’t feel like his space was being intruded. When they were kids, Kacchan always felt annoyed that Izuku was inserting himself into his life. Now that the man was trying to change for the better, Izuku really didn’t want to commit the same mistakes either.

 

If Izuku was going to be totally honest, the whole thing felt routinary and kind of sad. He loved spending time with his beyond awesome childhood friend probably to the point of being creepy. If it were up to him, they’d be talking all the time. But Izuku knew that his wants only came second to Kacchan’s need of space so he tried to be sensitive of that. He liked to think he was doing well in that regard… until today.

 

Aaaaargh! He should’ve thought of that first before bombarding Kacchan with “I missed you” in front of the entire cafeteria! Good job, you shitty nerd!

 

“Aaaaaaaaaaargh!” Izuku kicked his feet and heavily messed his own hair. “I’m so stupid! I’m so stupid !”

 

Because, really. Stupid .

 

He rolled around his bed angrily, grumbling and covering his face with his pillow so he could scream because whyyyyy? Why did he have to be so dumb!? He could’ve left it at Take care or See you later . Or he could’ve said anything less cringey or less shame-inducing but, no . Izuku just had to let the crowd get to him and be so damn stupid .

 

Kacchan was absolutely avoiding him. That was it. Izuku was never going to get a chance at him before he even tried. This entire reassignment at UA was going to be an awkward disaster.

 

Fuck.

 

If there was a way to fix this, Izuku was seriously not in the right mind to figure it out.

 

Ah, perhaps tomorrow he would get a grip and sort things out. It was his day off, after all.

 

Right! He was going to shower, have dinner, and hit the sheets. Tomorrow was going to be a new day!

 

Thank god .

 


 

He was awoken by either a fire alarm or pandemonium.

 

DING DONG DING DONG DING DONGDINGDONGDINGDONGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNG!

 

“WAH!” Izuku fell out of bed, hair tousled, and Quirk activated shortly in surprise because—DING DONG DINGDONGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNG— Wait , was that his doorbell?! Izuku almost couldn’t tell because of how the blasted thing sounded like it was screaming for help. He only had one eye open because the other one must have fallen off or whatever. His brain was so not ready to be awake and functioning yet. In fact, when he looked at the clock to check the time, all he could read was BOO.

 

PELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNG!

 

“IN A MINUTE!” Izuku yelled as he tried to untangle himself from the web of his own blanket.

 

PELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNG!

 

“GOD DAMN WAIT!” Izuku stood up and threw his blanket off himself, not even caring where it landed as he marched angrily towards the door.

 

PELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNG!

 

”JUST ONE SECOND!"

 

Just who the hell was outside his house at this damn hour with such urgency that his doorbell managed to learn DING DONG in a different language!?

 

With a whole lot of rage, Izuku gripped the doorknob—

 

PELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPELUNG!

 

—and swung the door open.

 

PELUNGPELUNGPELUNGPLEU—Izuku was glaring guillotines .

 

“OKAY, SATAN, WHAT THE—”

 

But his visitor glared back the wrath of god .

 

“HAAAAAAAAAA!?” Came his thundering voice, blonde hair sticking out in all directions and head raised as his deep red eyes stared Izuku down like his offense would trigger the apocalypse.

 

All forms of sleepiness evaporated out of Izuku’s body. His voice was reduced to nothing but a squeak.

 

Bakugou Katsuki was standing at his doorstep at… Well, at boo in the morning. Behind him, the sun was just barely starting to peek from the horizon of soft orange and calm blue. He was frowning and breathing heavily. His dark green shirt was drenched in sweat and sticking to his skin, jogging pants rolled up to almost his calves. The sweet smell of nitroglycerin came nicely with his own scent and the cool morning breeze dancing in the air.

 

He was beautiful like morning dew.

 

Well, angry morning dew but the point still stood.

 

“K-K-Kacchan!?” Izuku blinked, rubbed his eyes, and blinked again. The blonde creature was still there. “Wh-what…!?“

 

“Shut up!” Kacchan growled at him. “Get dressed! We’re leaving!”

 

The gears in Izuku’s head started churning in all different pointless directions as it tried to emit steam in an attempt to understand what was going on.

 

“Awha—? Awuh—?”

 

Izuku was the world’s worst steam engine.

 

Kacchan did not hold back from rolling his eyes.

 

“Fine. Can you gargle saliva and and move at the same time!?”


Technically, the answer was yes , but that didn’t seem to be the right answer now, was it?

 

“I…” Izuku was still rubbing his eyes just to make sure that he really was seeing right. “W-why? W-where are we going?”

 

“I’m taking you home for breakfast.” Kacchan growled, cheeks catching a shade of beautiful pink and Izuku just lost his shit.

 

“W-w-w-wh-wh-wha—! T-t-t-t-take me home !?” Izuku jumped back as he instinctively covered his body. Kacchan made a confused face before he realized what he had just said and turned so red, he looked like he was going to explode in embarrassment.

 

“Wha—Wait, no! I meant…!” Kacchan began, doing strange wavy gestures with his hands, “I mean I have breakfast at home! The food is at home ! I’ma—I’ma take you home and—Wait, no, that’s not right either—I—!”

 

And then the man made an explosion with his hands with a very frustrated curse.

 

BOOM!

 

“FUUUUUUUUUUCK!”


At this point, the neighbors were starting to peek from their homes and Izuku was starting to panic. They should just go inside and—”Never mind!”—What!?

 

Kacchan buried his hands into his pockets, turning to stomp away. Ah! Wait, don’t go! Izuku did the next best thing his just-awoken brain could muster—he panicked further.

 

Lovely .

 

Okay, so didn’t want Kacchan to go but he didn’t want the neighbors to be disturbed either so he did what seemed to be the most logical thing at the moment—“K-Kacchan, wait!”—His arm shot out immediately and grabbed whatever part of Kacchan’ he could reach, which was one side of his shirt. And then he yanked the blonde man back to face him so he could scream what the words offered to him by the fucking devil himself.

 

“C-c-c-c-come inside me!”

 

Kacchan turned so red, he could’ve stopped traffic with his face.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST—!?”

 

There was a collective gasp from his neighbors followed by murmurs. Down in hell, the demons were probably cackling. If this was a nightmare, now was the time for that dead girl to come crawling out of the TV because that was seriously way easier to deal with than what he had done to himself right now.

 

End me.

 

“Wait, no! I meant—!” Izuku wasn’t sure if he was explaining to Kachan, his neighbors, or god anymore. “I meant the house ! Come inside me in the ho—No, wait! Come inside the house ! MY HOUSE! I meant—”

 

Seriously. Just end me.


Kacchan was so fucking done so he just decided to shove the smaller man and just storm inside the house. They had both forgotten, however, that Izuku was still gripping part of Kacchan’s shirt. Bad idea. Kacchan pushed and Izuku pulled in surprise. They staggered against one another, cursing and panicking, and basically failing to function as creatures who had learned how to walk on two feet.

 

Such coordination! Aizawa-sensei would’ve been so proud!

 

And that was how they got tangled with one another—”Ah! K-Kacchan!” “You fucking bitch !”—before they tumbled into the house, screaming and cursing in a mess of tangled limbs.

 

They came to a stop with a thud against his shelf. It shook, but nothing fell off. And they lived happily ever after.

 

Izuku was attempting to astral project from this world to anywhere that wasn’t here.

 

Both of them groaned. Izuku was lying on his back, one hand flying to his forehead. His world was still spinning, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel the weight of his sins— A.K.A. Kacchan—on top of his body. It was difficult to breathe but that was fine. The smell of nitroglycerin was always welcome along with Kacchan’s own scent and his warmth. Neither of them were moving. Maybe it would be best to play dead.

 

Outside, Izuku could hear murmurs and small approaching footsteps before the old lady who lived next to him called out in a small voice.

 

“Midoriya-kun…?”

 

Izuku didn’t even lift his head and squeezed his eyes closed before replying.

 

“Yes, granny?”

 

“I’ll be closing your door now, okay?”

 

“Yes, please, granny.” Izuku sighed. “Thank you.”

 

“No problem, dear.” He could hear the smile on her voice as the faint light that flooded the room slowly disappeared with the click of the door and her last words of, “Have fun.”

 

Izuku made an embarrassed grimace.


Granny, no .

 

“Fuck.” Kacchan whispered hotly against Izuku’s neck and ooohhh, that felt good. “Fuck, this wasn’t how it was—” He motioned to get up. Kacchan’s knee moved between Izuku’s legs and rubbed up against his crotch just the right way to make him flinch and moan .

 

Izuku slapped a hand over his mouth.

 

God damn it !

 

“Deku?” Kacchan asked with legitimate concern. “What is it? Are you hurt?”

 

Izuku shook his head and pursed his lips behind his fingers or else he was going to end up saying, “I’m hurting for you , babe.”

 

Kacchan let his gaze linger for a while. This was unhealthy. Hot, yes, but unhealthy . How was Izuku supposed to stay sane if he was caged between Kacchan’s strong arms like this; one knee barely touching his crotch, as sexy red eyes stared into his own with all the Nnngh™— Take me!

 

Izuku just hoped to god his heart wouldn’t beat hard enough to burst through his chest and smack Kacchan in the goddamn face.

 

“Whatever.” The beautiful blonde creature above him huffed and started clearing off of him. “Never mind. I’m sorry. I’m going ho—”

 

Home. He was going home.

 

No!

 

Wait!

 

“K-Kacchan, wait…!”

 

Izuku’s hand shot out almost instinctively, gripping the front of Kacchan’s shirt again and pulling him forward. Had this been fanfiction, they’d have ended up kissing each other or coming face-to-face and staring deeply into each other’s eyes with only a breath between their lips.

 

But this wasn’t fanfiction.

 

So Izuku headbutted his crush right in the nose.

 

“OW! YOU FFFFFF—!”

 

Hard .

 

“WAAAAAAAA! KACCHAN!”

 

Great.

 


 


Anyone who would’ve seen them never would have guessed that they were pro Heroes. Izuku immediately understood the reason why some doctors said they weren’t fond of treating their own loved ones. One glimpse at Kacchan’s bleeding nose and everything he knew about first aid flew out the window and straight to the orbit of Venus.

 

The first thing he did was scream a string of incoherent words. After a good amount of that, Izuku then ran to the bathroom and came back with toothpaste. Kacchan was pinching his bloody nose with a bloody towel while sitting on a high stool in the kitchen but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give the meanest death glare of “What the fuck is that , you shitty nerd?”

 

Izuku shrieked again, ran to the refrigerator, put the toothpaste inside—he didn’t know he’d done that—and grabbed some ice from the freezer to place on Kacchan’s nose bridge.

 

Except he had grabbed frozen peas, not ice.

 

Kacchan was so pissed, he glared half of his lifespan away.

 

Izuku shrieked again.

 

Again, Aizawa-sensei would’ve been so proud .

 

Seriously, when was that girl going to crawl out of the TV!?

 

Half a century—ten minutes—later, the bleeding had finally stopped. Kacchan was still sitting on the high stool in kitchen, letting Izuku clean the blood of his face.

 

“I-I’m sorry, Kacchan.” Izuku mumbled as apologetically as he could while dabbing a wet cloth on his crush’s face. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…”

 

“Shut up.” Kacchan growled. He was more pouting than frowning, though. If Izuku wasn’t guilty as all hell for nose assault, he would’ve considered pecking a kiss and blaming it on “I just got out of bed and it’s too early. I’m sorry.”

 

But, no. His goddamn forehead more than just pecked Kacchan’s external breathing organ so whoop-dee-doo.

 

“I just wanted to be fucking nice and this is what you give me.” He grumbled. “Fuck you, nerd.”

 

“I said I’m sorry!” Izuku groaned, leaning back to get a better look and check if Kacchan’s nose was crooked or inverted or caved in or whatever. He was still pretty, though, so Izuku took that as fine.

 

“You startled me, though!” He added with a sigh, shoulders dropping as he nodded at Kacchan to signal that he was done. “What are you even doing here so early?”

 

Kacchan looked away as he grumbled incoherently. Izuku raised an eyebrow in confusion.

 

“What was that?”

 

Kacchan just grunted and looked the other way. He was pouting really cutely and Izuku was having a mental crisis between just smacking him with a kiss or insisting to get an answer.

 

“Never mind.” The bonde idiot spat out and Izuku was just— urgh. This man .

 

“Never mi—” Izuku threw the still damp cloth on the kitchen table. “Listen here, you. You come banging at my door at boo in the morning, without any prior warning whatsoever and you expect me to—”

 

“You said you missed me, okay!?” Kacchan hollered, eyes wide and angry, cheeks flaming red. “You said you missed me so here I am! Fuck you! Did you have to Forehead Smash me for that!?”

 

And then he took a sharp, outraged breath. His hand flew to his nose as if checking if it was bleeding again. Izuku could feel his cheeks heat up because… Because…

 

Well, he couldn’t actually pinpoint why this was making him happy and embarrassed but the fact of the matter was that ASDHAKLDHSAJDHAKLHDAKDHAYES.

 

“B-but that… Th-that was yesterday…!” Izuku exclaimed without thinking and, oooooh. Wrong answer. Anger and embarrassment immediately flashed across Kacchan’s face because Izuku basically and indirectly just slapped him with, “I missed you yesterday but not anymore.”

And that couldn’t have been more wrong . What did it matter, though? Kacchan growled before motioning to get up to obviously leave .

 

“Ah! Wait! No! I didn’t mean—!” Izuku tried pushing him down by the shoulders but the man just heavily swatted his hands away.

 

“Kacchaaaaaaaaaan!”

 

Izuku just adamantly pushed him back down regardless of him staring daggers.

 

“Don’t move around yet or your nose might bleed again!”

 

And that seemed to have done it. Kacchan grumbled lowly and sat back down, hands agitatedly rubbing his knees as he looked around. Izuku took time to study his body language

 

Hmmm. Okay, this one needed space. So Izuku just took a deep breath and started clearing the kitchen table . God, the cloth had so much blood. Izuku never wanted this to happen again.

 

“Why did you have to fucking scream in the cafeteria?” Kacchan said softly as Izuku slowly closed the door of the cabinet where he was keeping the first aid kit.

 

Oh, here it comes.

 

“You fucking moron.” He said again, his jaw tight. “What did you expect me to do with all of that unwanted attention? That wasn’t praise. That wasn’t admiration. They weren’t enemies I could fight either. I didn’t know what to do with all that.” He ran a hand down his face. “Fucking hell .”


Ah. Izuku was right. That kind of attention really was overwhelming to him.

 

“K-Kacchan… I...”

 

Maybe he should apologize and distance himself for a Kacchan for a while?

 

“My brain was going to explode .” Kacchan continued like he didn’t expect Izuku to answer anymore. “ I had talk to fucking Pikachu and Thermofuck—those two fucking idiots , of all people—to get to the bottom of everything.”

 

Thermofuck? Ah. Todoroki?

 

“Thermofuck said you were upset about someone not spending time with you or not giving you attention or whatever. Pikachu said you fucking lost your goddamn limb coordination while you were calling after me so you decided to go bowling ball the goddamn vending machine.”

 

Oh. So… Okay, wait... Was that why he was distant? He was actually confused and in deep thought? He was trying to connect the dots and make sense of it? It had that much of an effect on him?

 

Izuku wasn’t sure what to say.

 

“You told Todoroki but you couldn’t tell me .”

 

Huh? Is that why he was glaring at Todoroki the entire meeting yesterday? Was that why he was too adamant on being chosen to be with as opposed to being assigned ?

 

Kacchan’s eyes fell to the floor. He was wringing his own fingers, his leg shaking in anxiety.

 

Izuku’s brain was trying to figure it out but his heart was screaming in his ears because Kacchan was making another face he hadn’t seen before and this one… This one was hurt . And he didn’t know why . He just knew he was responsible for this and it was wrenching his heart so bad .

 

Izuku wanted to fix this.

 

Don’t make that face. Please, don’t make that face anymore.

 

“I’m sorry.” Izuku began. “I just thought it was shitty of me to want your attention and I just...”

 

At the back of his mind, he wondered if he’d been in Kacchan’s space for too long. Usually he had weeks or a month before he had to go distancing himself. He’d only had a few days with him but if he was being this overwhelmed then… Then maybe Izuku should just give him time to himself? Spend time with other people?

 

“Attention?” Kacchan raised an eyebrow. “Like what, are you in heat or something?”


Izuku tilted his head in confusion.

 

“In heat?”

 

“Wha—!” Kacchan blushed furiously, his aura picking up and doing a three-sixty as his hand flew to his nose as if to keep any blood from spurting out. “N-no! I said need ! In need ! In need of something! Need ! Are you making fun of me, you… You fucking—!?”

 

E-eh!? Why was he suddenly angry again!?

 

“N-n-n-n-no!” Izuku raised his hands in surrender. “I heard wrong! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

 

Kacchan only grumbled but said nothing more. He shifted in his seat and looked sideways. Izuku looked intently at him, studying him, wondering what was causing this behavior. He wasn’t used to this Kacchan. He wasn’t sure if he’d seen it before.

 

“W-well, anyway…” Kacchan cleared his throat, still looking at anything that wasn’t Izuku. “F-fr—” He cleared his throat again. Izuku wondered if he swallowed part of his nose cartilage or something.

 

“From now on, if you miss me, you have to tell me ! Privately!” He pointed to himself with a thumb because somehow clearing his throat allowed him to find his alpha self again? Izuku did not understand but okay. Whatever rocked his boat.

 

“Don’t scream it into a shitty void or whatever! You have to tell me frankly or I won’t know otherwise!”

 

Tell… Him… Frankly…?

 

So he didn’t get it the first few times? During the phone call in the morning? And the succeeding texts? Kacchan did not understand that Izuku wanted to spend time with him? Then how the hell did he interpret that?

 

“I…” Izuku began, kind of unsure if he should continue with his question. “I’m allowed to say I miss you?”

 

“You say it to everyone but you can’t say it to me?!” Kacchan snarled, teeth bare and woah there .

 

“N-no! That’s not what I meant!” Izuku jumped back just in case that jaw started snapping. “It’s just that they’re my friends and…!”

 

“And I’m not!?”

 

“O-of course, you are…! You’re my friend!”

 

Friend . It echoed. You’re my friend .

 

Friend.

 

Friend.

 

Friiiiieeeeeeeeeeend.


Repeat ‘til fade.

 

The guardian angel on Izuku’s right shoulder had probably grabbed the pitchfork from the devil on the left side and was now stabbing him in the chest. Cupid just dropped his bow and threw away his arrows because he did not want to have anything to do with Izuku’s fuck up’s anymore. In the distance, Mother Nature could be heard conjuring a new plague of disappointment to herald the end of mankind.

 

Izuku was a fucking moron .

 

“I…!” He began, but he really wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. “I mean…!”

 

Thankfully, his brain hadn’t packed up to leave him entirely.

 

“S-so…” Izuku stammered, licking his lips as he tried pulling out the words from out of whatever portion of his body they were coming from right now. Probably his liver. This was a stupid idea but, hey, he was running out of brain cells right now.

 

“So anything I can do to my friends…” His eyes slowly looked at Kacchan who was waiting intently for him to end his sentence. “I can do to you…?”

 

“What the f—That’s not—Argh.” Kacchan wiped a hand over his face and shrugged. “ Fine . Yeah. Sure. Whatever.”

 

Izuku leaned forward, resting his palms on Kacchan’s knees as he squinted and asked, “Are you sure ?”


The blonde man made a rather confused face, but wasn’t deterred.

 

“Yes, you nerd, what are y—”

 

All Izuku needed to hear was yes .

 

Without any further ado, he flung his arms around Kacchan’s neck and gave him the nicest, bestest, sweetest attacking hug of longing that he could.

 

“Mmmmmm!”

 

“What the—!” Kacchan hollered as he grabbed onto the kitchen table to keep himself from stumbling back as he got off the stool and onto his feet. Said kitchen stool wasn’t so lucky, as it fell on the floor with loud a loud bang, but thankfully not breaking anything. The table legs complained across the tiles as it slid out of place, but Izuku could not give any form of shit or whatever with how he was finally, finally hugging Bakugou Katsuki.

 

“Wh-wh-what in the sweet fuck are you fucking doing !?” Kacchan complained. His hands landed on Izuku’s waist but he immediately removed them like he’d just touched something burning. “G-g-get the fuck off of me, you nerd!”

 

Izuku pulled back only far enough so he could see Kacchan’s face as he complained.

 

“You said I could!”

 

“Wh—Wha—!”

 

The flustered look on his face was absolutely adorable . And being responsible for Kacchan wearing this expression probably gave Izuku some guts to wrap his arms around Kacchan’s waist and bury his face in his chest.

 

“Kacchan!”

 

MINE!

 

“Wh-wh-what the actual fuck !?” The embarrassed alpha male yelped, his voice cracking, arms raised like he didn’t want to touch Izuku lest he was going to break. But he made no move to detach the smaller man from giving him a hug either. His heart was smashing against his chest wildly. Izuku could hear. He was warmer when he was closer and smelled sweeter, too. His body felt just the right amount of tough and tender. Izuku would have no problem staying here.

 

If only this idiot would hug him back…!

 

“What kind of goddamn friendship do you fuckin’ have with your dumb squad, you shitty nerd!?” Kacchan complained loudly. His hands had dropped to his sides like he had given up. “Are you fucking telling me you hug the shitty four-eyed toaster all the time!?”

 

Rude. Iida wasn’t a toaster. He was a bus . Or a truck. Or Optimus Prime.

 

“No, but Uraraka likes hugs.” Izuku whispered as he turned his head so he could rest his cheek on Kacchan’s chest and thank you, god, hallelujah, AMEN.

 

“Besides,” He continued. “I’ve seen Ashido hugging you sometimes when she’s overjoyed.”

 

“And she’s going to die for it one day.” Kacchan said as-a-matter-of-fact-ly. Izuku only scoffed.

 

“Clearly, that day hasn’t dawned.”

 

“Fuck you.” Kacchan flicked his ears. Izuku only chuckled.

 

And then for the next few moments, they were silent. The two of them just stood there wordlessly with an air of comfortable companionship that made Izuku feel warm. He wondered if Kacchan felt the same even if he wasn’t holding Izuku in his arms.

 

“You know,” Kacchan said softly. “Ashido lets go of me pretty quickly.”

 

“Well,” Izuku turned his head to rest the other cheek on his chest. “I’m not Ashido.”

Chapter Text

Izuku didn’t get it.

 

Hugs were supposed to be mushy, lovey-dovey, and downright fluffy . The normal response was usually to hug back.

 

Not for Kacchan, though.

 

Kacchan’s response was to go on a run.

 

The first KatZuku hug on the planet barely lasted for half a minute before the oblivious and aggressive half of it started becoming uncomfortable enough to decide that enough was enough.

 

“Hoookay. That’s about it! Get off of me, nerd!” He yelled, trying to awkwardly wiggle free. Izuku groaned audibly in complaint, not really willing to let go yet. Kacchan got pissed and started pushing against his face.

 

“G-get moving...!” He hollered next, taking odd and random steps to shake Izuku off. “We’re going on a run!”

 

“A run !?” Izuku exclaimed as he took one step back. “I thought...I thought we were having breakfast at your place!?”

 

“And we are ! So get dressed!” Kacchan said again, pacing back and forth. “We’re running back to my apartment!”

 

“Eh?”

 

“And pack a change of clothes!”

 

“Eh!?”

 

“What is that face!? You’re showering at my place after we run, you idiot!”

 

“Eeeeeehh!?”

 

“Don’t you ehh me!” He roared, making explosions with both hands as he stomped his foot like he couldn’t wait to get Izuku out of his beet red face. “Hurry up and get going! We’ve got shit to do!”

 

Izuku wasn’t really sure what happened between that and him sprinting with a very aggressive blonde man. Kacchan was groaning and grumbling the entire time, barking every so often about how Izuku had been slacking all while going at a rather fast pace.

 

“How dare you even think of being lazy, Deku!” He complained between huffs as they jogged— ran , really, because Kacchan was being hyper .

 

“I’m not going to let those fucking brats say that Aizawa-sensei made a mistake of not following the winner of their stupid little poll! We gotta murder them first !”

 

“Kacchan!” Izuku glared at him because he was talking about UA students like this in public. “Your words!”

 

“Shut up!” He was thoroughly aggravated by something. “If you’re planning on half-assing this reassignment, you’d better tell me right now so I can just go ahead and kill you !”

 

“Language!” Izuku insisted with a grunt. Kacchan only grunted back and sped up.

 

Oh, great. He’s throwing a tantrum.

 

Not that Izuku couldn’t keep up. Both of them were active Heroes after all. He just found it strange how Kacchan seemed so determined to do anything but stay quiet and stay still. And on an empty stomach first thing in the morning, too.

 

Wonderful. This was the most romantic jogging event in all of history.

 

To be honest, Izuku didn’t want to let the hug end so soon. At least not until Kacchan hugged him back. But it felt too much to ask. He’d overwhelmed the man already from The Incident™ so he really wasn’t in any position to demand for anything more. In fact, Izuku should be happy that Kacchan didn’t decide to distance himself for good. Besides, breaking the hug was safer. A whole minute more of that and he’d have been looking for nipples to bite through his shirt because damn . Except Kacchan was so dense , he’d probably think Izuku wanted milk and would get him a goat. And goats were okay, really, but goat nipples… Not really.

 

Seriously, though, Kacchan’s broad chest was totally Nnngh™ up-close and hum-hum kind of sniffy. Izuku was going to have wet dreams of mushing his face on those pecs. Good lord, they were so… um… muscly … Tough and tender in its own ironic way. Izuku wondered if that made him sound like a cannibal.

 

“I’m dying of fucking hunger and starvation!” Kacchan kept on saying, huffing in between. Izuku was more concerned about how he looked like a very physically active turtle with the backpack he was carrying. But maybe this was good training since he hadn’t been running the past few days? He was supposed to be doing this for four times a week. Maybe the bag was god’s punishment for him slacking , as Kacchan put it.

 

“Aaahhh, fuck.” Kacchan groaned. “I ran this fucking distance twice today, god damn it.”

 

Both of them were sweating and breathing heavily when they got to the apartment complex. Kacchan was particularly drenched so they decided to stand outside and dry themselves. Sweat dripping in the hallway would be gross for other tenants after all.

 

“What do you mean? You ran from here to get to my place?” Izuku asked, letting his bag drop on the pavement so he could get the towels he packed for the both of them. It was so strange how Kacchan brought neither a sweat towel nor a water bottle with him if he was going on a run. If Izuku didn’t know him better, he’d think the man just woke up and just ran to his house today without thinking. Maybe he dropped his stuff or forgot and was too embarrassed to admit normal human error .

 

But before Izuku could think about any more of Kacchan’s possible imperfections, the universe decided to remind him just exactly why Bakugou Katsuki was perfect in other aspects. Just as Izuku was handing him the towel, Kacchan pulled his sweaty shirt off his beautiful body for all the world to see and Izuku just—This man!

“K-Kacchan…!” Izuku squeaked, looking around feeling both embarrassed and possessive at how people were looking at his man . “Don’t you care how you look like!?”

 

Izuku could not properly think with how he was so sensitive just from the mixed smell of nitroglycerin and his scent.

 

“Look like what ?” Kacchan scoffed as he slung his wet shirt on his right shoulder and grabbed the towel to wipe himself. “What? What’re they gonna see? My tits?”

 

Um? FUCKING YES?

 

“Gimme water.” He added. Izuku grunted, but complied. He grabbed one of the two water bottles he had with him and tossed it to the man, no, the monster. Kacchan was a monster who just decided to tip his head back, open his mouth, lift the bottle, and pour the water onto his face and god daaaaaaamn if Izuku didn’t go from homo sapiens to homosexual real fast.

 

“Y-you—!” Izuku was pretty sure he was supposed to say something, but he was too busy telling himself that it was not logical to be jealous over water. But look at it, though. Look at him. Look at this. This was the damn Fountain of Nnngh™.

 

Water trickled from the corners of Kacchan’s lips, down to his jaw, dripping from his chin, and travelling down his neck and oh, oh, oh . Sweat and water made its lazy way down his well-chiseled body, over his skin, and between his muscle cuts. And that bead of liquid near Kacchan’s left nipple was particularly having the time of its life hanging there and Izuku’s all same .

 

Ohhh, and, sweet heavenly sin —the smell of him. The fragrance of Kacchan’s scent and nitroglycerin. Izuku wanted to smell him and lick him and just snuggle against him and aaaaaaaaaaargh! Izuku had seen images like this in commercials before but this right here was the only one that could make blood evacuate to his dick!

 

Ah! He had to do something to prevent this from escalating !

 

A little voice in his head suggestively whispered “Something liiiiike...?”

 

His dick twitched as if trying to raise itself and say, “Oh! Me! I know the answer! Pick me!”

 

God damn it!

 

“You’re hopeless!” Izuku groaned as he grabbed a water bottle for himself and rehydrated his desperately thirsty self.

 

“You tired?” Kacchan nodded at him like he was going to break his bones if he said yes . As if he was going to say yes. He wasn’t tired. Just needed to catch his breath. And his damn sanity .

 

Deku shook his head.

 

“Not tired.”

 

“Good.” Kacchan nodded again, obviously pleased with that answer. The way his chest heaved was so distracting. Deku wanted to hug him again. His smell was so… mind-boggling. Izuku wanted that scent all over him.

 

After wiping sweat off their bodies and deeming themselves dry enough, the two of them walked into the apartment complex. They took the stairs on Izuku’s suggestion, however, because they’d stink in the elevator and other passengers didn’t need to suffer that. Also, being in an elevator with Kacchan like this was bound to give Izuku so many inappropriate ideas. There was no guarantee that Izuku wouldn’t start grinding against him as soon as the doors closed. So, yeah, the stairs would help him calm down.

 

Kacchan agreed with a nod. Without a word and without bothering to put on a shirt, he picked up Izuku’s bag and started off. Well, that was odd. Who told him to carry the bag? Never mind. Izuku was more interested in looking at the inside of the building after all.

 

This wasn’t the first time Izuku had been here but he couldn’t help but be so aware of how Kacchan’s apartment building was so different from Izuku’s. It had its own security guard, a lobby, a receptionist, and a canteen. It also had a swimming pool and an events hall for its tenants. This place felt more like a hotel than an apartment complex.


And Kacchan lived here .

 

Izuku was in this line of thinking when he glanced at the digital clock in the lobby.

 

7:55 AM.

 

Huh? Wasn’t Kacchan late for work?

 

“Wait, is it your day off today?” He said as they started making their way to the fourth floor.

 

Two girls passed by, their eyes pasted on Kacchan as he moved. Izuku followed them with his eyes, observing as one of them hurriedly pulled out a phone.

 

“Yeah.” Kacchan nodded, wiping sweat on his chin using the towel hanging from around his neck.

 

“We have the same days off?” Izuku was probably an asshole for making sure he was blocking the girls’ line of sight but he wasn’t about to stand here and let random strangers take pictures of Kacchan.

 

“For two-v’s, yes.”

 

Oh. They had same two-v’s off? Since when? Why didn’t Izuku know that?

 

The way the current Hero system worked on having either two-days off or one day off per week in alternating fashion. Last week, Izuku had one day off so this week he had two. Next week, he was going to have just one day off again. Weeks with two days off were called “two-v’s”, as in “two vacation days” while weeks with one day off were simply referred to as a “v”.

 

“We’re going to be having the same days off every week with this reassignment.” Kacchan added, turning at a corner step. “UA has weekends off. Sometimes teachers have to work on Saturdays, but Sundays are almost always free.”

 

“Yeah.” Izuku nodded, smiling as he walked up the stairs behind his new work partner.

 

They were going to be working together from now on. Together . Kacchan would have no choice but to spend time with him. And, sure, it wasn’t really for romantic purposes but Izuku was taking anything he could get right now.

 

“Waaah…” Izuku looked around the long closed hallway as they got to the fourth floor. One side of was lined with white doors. The other side had large glass sliding windows that overlooked the city.

 

“You’re so lucky to own your living space.” Izuku mumbled, looking down at the large and shiny marble floor tiles.

 

“Won’t deny that.” Kacchan responded with a shrug as he pulled out keys from his right pocket. “Although it kind of limits work since I always have to take it into consideration.” He stopped at door 4020, taking time to sort through the set of keys to find the right one.

 

“It suddenly becomes impractical getting assigned elsewhere. You have to rent a separate house while having this.”

 

The door unlocked with a click and Kacchan slowly pushed it open.

 

“But it’s not like my parents could get me a flying house so…” He stepped inside and removed his shoes in the doorway. “Yeah, come in.”

 

“Th-thanks…” Izuku said as he followed suit. He could hear Kacchan’s footsteps as he walked around the house. There was the sound of window blinds being opened followed by the flooding of light from outside. The freckled man looked up from where he was removing his shoes to catch a glimpse of the blonde man putting his bag on the center table of his living room.

 

Wow. This place.

 

Kacchan’s living room had a nice rug , a sofa set with microfiber covers, and a thirty-two-inch flat screen TV mounted on the wall. On one side were sliding glass doors that led to a balcony. Izuku assumed it would be a nice spot to look at the pretty city lights in the evening. There was also a proper dining area and a kitchen.

 

Izuku’s house looked like a shack.

 

This would be easy to take in if Kacchan’s family were rich as hell. They weren’t. They did have more money than average people but that didn’t mean they could spend on this flat such as this one like it meant nothing. They had to have saved a long time for this, for their Katsuki, for their boy, their only boy. Anyone who would say that Bakugou Katsuki was not pampered by his parents was insane .

 

Now Izuku knew his mom loved him, yes. There was absolutely no doubt about that. But that didn’t mean seeing this house didn’t make Izuku feel like a plebian.

 

“Still, though…” Izuku went on saying, picking up on where their conversation left off as he gingerly stepped into the living room. He looked at the couch and wondered if he could sit but was reminded he was sweaty. And Kacchan didn’t like sweat or stains on his furniture.

 

“You have your own place. It’s yours .” Izuku kept looking around to busy himself, his eyes lingering on the pictures on the walls. “Like you can start a family and won’t have to worry where to put them.”

 

“Where to put them…” Kacchan said from the kitchen, his voice distant along with the sound of a refrigerator being opened. “Are we talking about a family or action figures?”

 

Izuku rolled his eyes away. Fine . So maybe he phrased that wrong but still , his point stood.

 

“Besides,” Kacchan added, grunting before he continued, “Is this the sort of place you’d like to live and start a family in?”

 

I can’t even get laid . What family are you talking about?

 

“Hmm…” Izuku stuck out his lower lip in thought as he looked at the Bakugou family pictures framed on the wall. Kacchan had one for every graduation—kindergarten, middle school, high school—and then one with him dressed as a pro Hero in front of the Heroes HQ. Awww… So cute. Izuku was willing to bet that Kacchan was going to continue to age like fine wine.

 

“Well, it depends!” Izuku finally said, eyes landing on class photos on the shelves. “Because, children , you know? Raising kids would be better if they had a garden to play in because then they’d still be in your residence without being cooped up within the four walls of the house. Although in today’s economy, you can’t be too picky, really. Like if it’s a residence then it’s a residence . Home is where the heart is so I guess that’s got to count, don’t you think?”

 

“You should be kicked in the shin is what I think.” Kacchan replied as he approached.

 

“Wha—” Izuku furrowed his eyebrows as he whipped towards the direction of the voice. “Hey, you asked !”

 

“I asked an effing yes-no question and you responded with a god damn life insurance pitch!” Kacchan handed him a bottle of Katorade, which he took with a heavy snatch. “I fucking pity the guy who has to propose to you. He’d be having arthritis on one knee going Izuku, will you marry me; and you’ll just start mumbling shit like well, it depends, ‘coz you see, if we look at my shitty hand-written notes from the year of the nerdy arf-arf, we can observe from the trend of this dick-shaped curve that the economy is unstable by a percentage of—“

 

“Sh-sh-shut up!” Izuku piped, red and flustered as he punched the other man in the shoulder. He didn’t really care about how Kacchan was mocking him. Of more immediate concern was how the words “ Izuku, will you marry me ” left his crush’ own mouth. He even tried to demonstrate going down on one knee, holding an imaginary ring box and that alone was enough to make Izuku’s heart stop . That was the only reason that Kacchan got so many words out before Izuku could interrupt.

 

Kacchan only scoffed and drank from his bottle.

 

“Izuku, will you marry me?”

 

Urgh. This jerk.

 

Izuku frustratedly chugged at the Katorade bottle because he was so damn thirsty. Kacchan was still drinking when Izuku brought the bottle down from his lips.

 

“I was just answering in detail!” Izuku wiped his mouth with his arm and it was only then that Kacchan finished drinking. “I thought that’s what you wanted!”

 

“The fuck do you know about what I want ?” Kacchan replied after having finished over three quarters of his drink. He glared at Izuku before clicking his tongue and motioning to go. “Anyway, I feel like shit so I’m going to shower first. You should, too.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Kacchan’s house had two bathrooms. The difference between the two was that the one in the kitchen had a small shower in it. The one connected to Kacchan’s bedroom had a bathtub . Again, Izuku was reiterating in his mind that whoever thought that Kacchan’s parents didn’t pamper him was so wrong.


“Put your sweaty clothes in the basket over there.” Kacchan pointed as he walked into his room. “I’ll toss them in the wash later.”

 

Izuku smiled.

 

Still huswaifu material, though.

 



Izuku did not know how Kacchan did it but he did.

 

After showering and putting on fresh clothes, Kacchan made breakfast in a jiffy. And it was the best Izuku had had in a long time. He was served fried rice with carrots, ham, green onion, egg, green peas —”Ahahaha! Peas!” “Shut the fuck up!”—and shrimp ! Good lord , shrimp fried rice and lemon water in the morning! Izuku literally squealed and almost tackled Kacchan with a hug. It came with a cost of a hell lot of curse words and insults, but nothing too violent. Kacchan even steadied him with a hand on the small of his back to keep his balance.

 

So, yeah. Breakfast. Shrimp fried rice in a bowl. Fried egg on top. Lemon water to wash it down. And then fruits .

 

Kacchan looked proudly at his creation. Izuku clapped—”Kacchan’s so awesome.”—and the man seemed to be happy with that—”I know. You always say that.”—because Kacchan liked praise after all.

 

But food was of more importance right now. Both of them were starving and neither of them could fill their stomachs with praise.

They ate in the living room in front of the TV, watching a morning talk show that featured a variety of topics. Not that it mattered. Kacchan just talked over the entire thing. And Izuku would really rather listen to him.

 

He told Izuku about a kindly old couple who lived with their two grandkids from his zone. They had a small garden of vegetables, some chickens, and two goats. The two made very little selling their harvest, eggs, and goat milk but managed to get by. Kacchan liked buying from them because their goods were fresh and were always packaged with care whenever he went to pick them up. They couldn’t remember names well so they called him Mr. Hero. That was how they addressed him on the hand-written thank you notes that came with his purchase. Izuku thought that was adorable.

 

A block away from them was a single mom who ran a grocery store. She had one daughter who was graduating from high school next year and wanted to be a baker. Some mornings, her daughter would have bread or pastries for Kacchan to taste and they were always awesome. They were planning to turn the store into a bakery someday after she graduated and they both want Kacchan to cut the ribbon for them. Kacchan wasn’t sure how to feel about that while Izuku wondered if Kacchan even liked bread to begin with. Still, it was adorable.

 

And then there was a diner who was run by an old lady. Her wife died a few months back. All of her children were working out of town or out of the country, but she lived with her grandchildren. Granny often asked Kacchan to pick a husband or wife out of any of her grandkids. All of them liked him and would be very glad to breed with him , as per Granny’s exact words.

 

“Aaaaand would you like to share your DNA with any of them?” Izuku asked a bit too sassily and Kacchan only grimaced.


“Bitch. As if.” Kacchan took two gulps of lemon water. “If her grandson tries to jump me again, I’m slugging him in the fucking face in self-defense.”

 

“My, aren’t we popular ?” Izuku said before stuffing his face with rice. Kacchan just rolled his eyes away.

 

Stupid Kacchan. Stupid jumping gay grandson. Izuku could jump, too. Izuku could Full Cowl , god damn it.

 

“I won’t get to see people from my area as much as I did anymore.” He said again, his voice not changing but his eyes kind of soft and sad. “Yoarashi better do his shit I’ma fucking murder him down to his last particle.”

 

There was no way for Izuku to stop the smile that was crawling across his face. Kacchan’s expression was so caring and tender, his red eyes kind of sparkling, almost like he wanted to cry. The space between his eyebrows were crinkled due to constant frowning, but even that seemed to soften with the rest of his features.

 

He was beautiful—a different kind of beautiful.

 

Izuku was happy that Kacchan was letting him see this side of him.


So they kept talking over the TV chatter, discussing things that ranged from rainbows to Hero policies. Izuku volunteered to do the dishes when they were done. Kacchan turned off the TV and marched into the kitchen to rant at Izuku about the horrors of his freezer. The suddenly talkative blonde man stood next to Izuku, leaning on the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He was saying something some kitchen-related things that Izuku could not follow anymore. So when Izuku was done with the dishes, instead of wiping his hand on the towel nearby, he decided to wipe it across Kacchan’s face .

 

“OH MY FUCKIN— DEKU!”


The thunderstruck roar of disbelief from the blonde man was satisfyingly ungodly . Izuku was meaning to cackle but his panic made him screech instead. He seeked refuge in the living room, which wasn’t really that far and Kacchan wasn’t slow. He caught up with only a few strides, yelling and swearing as he did—loud, but not angry. With one or two swift movements, Kacchan had his arms locked around Izuku’s waist—”You are fucking dead , you piece of shit!” ”Waaa! Noooo! I’m sorry!”—lifting him up and flinging him with ease.

 

There was some futile giggly resistance Izuku’s part—”I yield! I yield!”—laughing as he tried to wriggle free out of Kacchan’s grasp—”Fuck you, Deku!”—but the man’s response was to drop him on the couch and strangle him to submission. Izuku kicked and swatted the attacking hands away until Kacchan’s fingers made a claw-like form that dug into Izuku’s midsection, making him scream and shriek and giggle and laugh and cry and be so, so happy.

 

“K-Ka—! Kahahahahaha—! Aaaaahahaha—Noooooo!”

 

Izuku didn’t even know how ticklish he really was. Or how happiness and laughter could rob him of strength.

 

“Are you making fun of me, you fucking nerd!?”

 

Kacchan laughed above him, however, one hand pinning down Izuku’s every futile jerk and twitch; another hand jabbing at his midsection or gripping his thigh with just the right amount of force to make him laugh until he wheezed out all the air in his system.

 

“N-n-n-n-n-n-nuuuhhaaaa—hahahahahaha! Kaaaachaaaaahaha—Ahahahahaha!””

 

Izuku pushed himself backwards on the now misaligned couch, trying to scamper away from under his attacker but Kacchan was so much faster. That or Izuku had gotten slower. Probably both. Didn’t matter. Izuku curled in an attempt to protect himself from all the laughter.

 

“What, you’re a fucking fortress now?”

 

“Leave me alooooooooooooooooone!”

 

Kacchan pried him open by gripping his sides, digging fingers into his flesh. One of them had managed kicked the center table away without knowing it. The living room was a mess.

 

What were they wrestling about again? Izuku had forgotten. He didn’t really remember how they finally stopped or how they ended up on the floor, breathing heavily after their fits of laughter had died down. He also didn’t know how they came about facing each other, talking about all sorts of senseless and disjointed things.

 

Aizawa-sensei was probably never getting married.

 

Did Iida have to do engine maintenance?

 

At what point did Smackbang become an intern, by the way?

 

The third elevator sometimes reeked of a weird smell and nobody knew why.

 

Izuku’s knife needed sharpening.

 

Kacchan’s lips were dry.

 

Do beetles have feelings?

 

And on and on and on they kept on talking until the thoughts ran out and words fell silent. Time ticked like a silent friend, making hours roll by like they belonged somewhere else. At some point, Kacchan had fallen asleep on his side and Izuku just continued lying next to him, wondering if it was okay for him to snuggle.

 

Outside, raindrops started to fall. Mother Nature was cheering him on.

 

Pitter-patter-pitter-patter.

 

Izuku closed his eyes and nudged closer, feeling Kacchan’s warmth against his, hearing his heartbeat or maybe imagining it. The smell of his scent and nitroglycerin was far more alluring than it previously had been and Izuku felt like he’d wanted it all around him. They smelled of the same shampoo, of the same body soap, but somehow still different in their own right. He liked to think this was some form of bond, some form of connection. That or dreamland was calling to him, too.

 

Pitter-patter-pitter-patter.

 

I must be careful not to touch him. Careful. Careful. Please don’t wake up.

 

Izuku closed his eyes and fell asleep. When he opened them again, it was way past noon.

 

Kacchan was still next to him, breathing softly in Izuku’s curls, an arm and a leg over his waist. Izuku was lightly clutching onto the front of his shirt.

 

Kacchan’s scent. Nitroglycerin. The smell of soap and shampoo.

 

The digital clock read 1:35 PM.

 

They should be having lunch but Izuku didn’t want to move. The smell of nitroglycerin sang to him as Kacchan’s heartbeat lulled him back to sleep.

 

“Mmh.” Kacchan mumbled in his sleep, pulling Izuku closer and breathing into his hair. “Go to hell.”

 

Izuku smiled, barely awake, barely aware. Perhaps there were other things than food that he was hungry for.

 

Outside, it was still raining.

 

Pitter-patter-pitter-patter.

 

And then the doorbell started ringing.

DING-DONG! DING-DONG!

 

“H-huh? Uhh?” Kacchan furrowed his eyebrows, blinking himself awake. He was obviously not expecting someone to be visiting. Izuku groaned as he rolled to the other side, curling and trying to cover his ears using the bunched up floor rug.

 

Neither of them had taken note of the position they were in when they woke up.

 

The doorbell came with raps on the door.

 

DING-DONG! DING-DONG! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

 

“Oh, what the fffff—” Kacchan got up, stomping angrily towards the door as he yelled, “Just a sec!”

 

DING-DONG! DING-DONG! KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

 

Izuku made a face. Whoever was knocking had better have urgent business with Kacchan or they were getting curses in the face just for—“It’s about time! We’ve been standing here for ages!”

 

A woman. It was a woman.


Izuku sat up in one quick movement, his back straightened and his shoulders squared. He knew that voice.

 

“Mom!? What the—BGRF !?” Kacchan exclaimed with the sound of the door slamming open along with heavy footsteps coming in.

 

“Shut up and let your mother in!” That was Bakugou Mitsuki marching in right on cue, making Izuku immediately get up rigidly.

 

Oh, shit, the living room was a damn mess !

 

“Okay, buster, we have to—” Mitsuki stopped mid-finger wave at her son behind her as soon as she noticed the other man in the room. Her face beamed with a rather confused delight, clapping as she did. While it was true that she was older, Mitsuki looked like she aged only by a year or two.

 

“I-Izuku-kun!”

 

That was his cue to greet back.

 

“G-g-g-good morn—Ah! Good aft—”

 

But then someone else came in exclaiming.

 

“Izuku!?”

 

And that’s when Izuku’s brain flipped itself. That other voice was Midoriya Inko just bursting into the house, shoving Kacchan out of her way. He fell on his bottom with an “ACK!”

 

“M-m-m-mom!?” Izuku wasn’t sure if he was going to be surprised that his mom was here or that she had enough strength to just fling Kacchan like a ragdoll. Or that Kacchan wasn’t even angry at her as he sat on the floor, looking up with a very surprised exclamation of, “Auntie!?”

 

“O-oh my god…!” Mitsuki was teary eyed, one hand covering her mouth as her other hand felt behind her for something to grab. Inko was there to gently take her hand.

 

What? Izuku blinked and pursed his lips nervously. Was it the living room? Was she pissed about the state of her son’s living room?

 

“They’re…” Mitsuki continued, voice cracking. “They’re living together… They’re…”

 

Who was what together!?

 

“Whey are…!” Inko covered her mouth, too.

 

Who?!

 

Izuku was starting to not understand.

 

And then the two mothers looked at each other before throwing themselves into a loud dramatic hug that had them sobbing and sinking into the floor.

 

“Hoooooly fuuuuuuuuuck!” That was Mitsuki.

 

“Oh my goooooooooood!” And that was Inko.

 

Izuku was almost willing to bet that this was a prank. He was on a reality show and this was a big joke. He glanced at Kacchan. He was looking out the door for anything suspicious before slamming it closed and marching back inside.

 

“Inkoooooooo!” Mitsuki wailed as they sat on the living room floor, hugging each other. “Oh my god, Inko! It’s true! It’s truuuuuuuuuuuue!”

 

“It iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!” Inko sobbed louder than Izuku had ever heard her do in his entire life. “Mitsukiiiiii! It’s finally happeeeeeeeeeened!”

 

“Wha…!” Kacchan got up and looked at Izuku who only shook his head because hell no , he had no clue either. The blonde man scratched his head heavily and walked around the crying mothers—”And then grandchildren!” “I knooooooow! Like fiiiiive!” “Or seveeeen!” “Or niiiiiiine!”—tiptoeing like he was treading the edge of a volcano crater.

 

“What the fuck is happening?!” Kacchan managed to ask as soon as he managed to get to Izuku’s side. But instead of getting an answer, Mitsuki just got up and flung her arms around Izuku to give him a very tight and vicious hug.

 

“Izuku-kuuuuun!” She screamed as she dragged Izuku into a very loving headlock . “My future son-in-laaaaaaw!”

 

“E-eh?!?!” Izuku exclaimed, eyeing Kacchan for help, but the blonde man was red in the face and looking just as confused and twice as outraged as he was.

 

“Future son-in— O-oi! ” Kacchan stomped his foot twice. “Don’t just go deciding things on your own!”

 

He motioned to grab and pry his own mother off of Izuku had Inko not tugged at the end of his shirt. She looked up at him with big, shiny, teary eyes and a trembling lower lip sticking out and… And Kacchan just ceased to function like a proper Bakugou would.

 

“Ka-Katsuki-kun!” The small woman sobbed as she extended her hands at Kacchan, padding one small step at a time towards him like she was so weak with happiness that she couldn’t move and he had to hug her in. The blonde young man stammered a bunch of gibberish for a while before turning to Izuku who was too busy trying to breathe so he just shrugged. Kacchan made his “fuck it” face and stepped into the small lady’s hug. She sobbed so loudly as her tiny fingers gripped the living daylights out of Kacchan’s shirt, digging into his flesh without intending to but hurting anyway. Kacchan winced visibly but didn’t say anything.

 

“Katsuki-kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!”

 

Izuku was so , so confused. Perhaps it had something to do with how he was consciousness from Kacchan’s mother strangling the life out of him with her love.

 

“A-auntie,” Kacchan began, awkwardly petting a sobbing, shaking Inko on the head to calm her down. “W-why are you crying?”

 

“Shut up, Katsuki!” Mitsuki snapped at him, one leg shooting out to kick him in the shin and making him yelp. “It’s one thing that you didn’t tell me what you were up to but not to ask Izuku’s mother for her blessing beforehand!? I am so embarrassed!”

 

Mitsuki patted Izuku on the head. Now he knew she meant well but her hand movements were so heavy, he was starting to feel a hemorrhage forming.

 

“The fuck are you kicking me for!? You a fucking ostrich now!? Did I come from a fucking egg!?” Kacchan yelled he turned so that Inko like he was trying to protect her from Mitsuki. “And what blessing are you shittin’ about!?”


“O-oh. Oh dear…” The small woman finally detached herself from Kacchan. “I-I told you, Mitsuki, it’s fine! It’s fine!” And then she gingerly opened her purse to pull out a handkerchief and wipe her tears. Kacchan looked at her, grumbled and stormed off.

 

“Katsuki-kun isn’t a stranger to us.” Inko smiled, tears still streaming from here eyes. “What matters is that they’re happy! I’m just really overwhelmed is all!”

 

“God damn it!” Kacchan returned with a box of tissues and handed it to Inko before turning to his mother. “What the hell is going on!?”

 

“Oh, shush!” Mitsuki hurried over to Inko before they started raiding the tissue box so they could wipe their tears and blow their noses. “My boy should’ve known better!”


Izuku’s lungs were happy to re-acquaint themselves with air .

 

“Oi!” Katsuki was now making small explosions. “Stop ignoring me, damn it!”

 

“I mean, I would’ve given my own goddamn engagement ring to put on Izuku’s finger!”

 

Her what !?

 

“E-e-e-e-engagement ring!?” Izuku looked at his own hands just to be sure. Ten fingers. No ring. And if he had a ring at any point, well, it was gone now !

 

“W-w-w-w-what are you even talking about !?” Kacchan was making louder explosions. His mother still didn’t care, as she chose to rush towards Izuku instead.

 

“Ohhh! Show me the ring, Izuku-kun.” She gripped both his wrists and held up his hands. Inko trotted hurriedly behind her so she could also take a look. “I want to see what my foolish son got for... y… ou...?”

 

Mitsuki blinked.

 

Inko blinked.

 

Izuku bit his lip.

 

Kacchan was screaming into his couch.

 

“There’s no ring.” Inko whispered in disbelief.

 

“Where is it?” Mitsuki seemed to be talking to Izuku’s fingers she eyed them one-by-one like there was an extra eleventh finger she hadn’t seen yet.

 

“Izuku…” Inko sadly put a hand on her son’s shoulder. “Izuku, did you say no?”


“Um…” Izuku slowly took his hands back from Mitsuki’s now loosened grip. “S-said no to what...?”

 

“What do you mean?” Mitsuki tilted her head before exchanging looks with a rather sad Inko. The blonde woman turned to her equally blonde son who was kneeling on the floor, face planted on one of his throw pillows on the couch.

 

“Katsuki, didn’t you propose?”


Kacchan lifted his head and whipped towards his mother, yelling so angrily with a face so red that fire could very well be coming out of his mouth.

 

“And why the hell would I fucking do that, huuuuuuuuuh!?”

 

“Well, damn , you tell me !” Mitsuki screamed back at him as one hand dug into the endless pit known as a mother’s purse. And then she pulled out her phone from said abyss before tapping on it angrily with her trembling fingers.

 

“It’s all over the goddamn internet, Katsuki!”

 

Izuku blinked, exchanging looks with Kacchan who slowly got up.

 

Mitsuki held up her phone. Kacchan grabbed the phone from his mother’s hand. Izuku hurried to his side so they could look together.

 

“Don’t you dare tell me that isn’t you!”

 

And there it was. A video of the cafeteria incident. And with a hell lot of of effects, filters, and piano music. It showed Kacchan cradling Izuku’s head with one hand, thumb swiping over his lips and then… And then horrible editing happened. The two of them started moving closer like two paper dolls trying to interact from different dimensions. Kacchan hit pause and shoved the phone into Izuku’s hands who threw it onto the couch.

 

What the hell was that!?

 

Izuku wheezed. He and Kacchan looked at each other, both horrified and embarrassed as Bakugou Mitsuki hollered with her hands on her waist.

 

“See!? This video’s saying you proposed!”

 

Inko nodded timidly and chirped, “With subtitles, too!”

 

Izuku cringed. Kacchan allowed himself to fall back onto the couch.

 

“Oh, and, Izuku…?” Inko blinked, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. “What’s a ZeKu?”


Mom, no !

Chapter Text

Bakugou Mitsuki wanted to either sue somebody or murder an entire population. There was no in-between.

 

Upon learning the fact that the video was not only edited but also severely untrue , both mothers were temporarily sent into a state of shock and disbelief. They stood in the middle of the living room like glitched human beings that were rejecting reality. Izuku could relate to a certain point. A fuming Kacchan had to get them water while Izuku had to carefully and slowly assist them in sitting down on the couch.

 

After water intake, the silence lasted for three good seconds for Kacchan’s mom before she burst out in screaming emotion, effectively surprising Izuku enough to make him jump right into Kacchan’s arms. The blonde man was confused for a second—”What are you doing!? How did you get here!?”—before tossing Deku right back on the couch and next to his still unmoving, mumbling mother.

 

“How the hell is this okay!?” Mitsuki shouted, outraged as all hell and beating the non-living daylights out of a random throw pillow. “How the fucking hell is it okay to play with my goddamn feelings like this!?”

 

Izuku felt sorry for the inanimate object she was punching.

 

“More like how the sweet fuck is it okay to use the fucking internet and not put your goddamn brain cells into use!?” Her offspring hollered back at her before grabbing the poor pillow and tossing it to Izuku. “And stop clobbering my stuff!”

 

Mitsuki growled but just grabbed a different pillow and hurled it at her son.

 

“How about your mother’s battered heart , you ungrateful spawn!”

 

Kacchan caught the pillow with one hand and threw it again at Izuku who caught it with his face.

 

Why was this happening?

 

“Well, maybe if you took time to goddamn read some shit, you’d have fucking realized that it was effing fake !” Kacchan was making small explosions in both hands and stomping one foot while he was at it. Mitsuki only responded with the signature alpha Bakugou “HAAAAAAA!?”

 

Izuku slowly inched away from the shouting match, taking his mother with him towards the end of the couch.

 

“I mean come on !” Kacchan kept screaming like that was the only volume setting his body knew. “There was literally a fucking suggested video right in the sidebar. It had the same damn footage except the dialog was all about shitty burritos!”

 

Ah, burritos. Izuku wanted to groan. That was actually one of the better things that they eventually found in that cringey video fiesta. It seemed someone uploaded one video and the fandom decided to go ham. There were strange edits of them being in outer space, in the middle of the sea, on a spaceship, in a love hotel (what?), and so on and so forth. They couldn’t find the original video, though. Perhaps it got taken down? Maybe Heroes HQ HR had something to do with it? Hoo, boy. Izuku was pretty sure Best Jeanist (or worse, Endeavor ) would have something to say about this. He was just thankful that the footage didn’t include Kacchan shoving Todoroki back or the fandom would’ve lost its shit .

 

Oooooooh, fuck . What did Grumblr look like right now? If WhoTube and Facenook were like this, the stuff on Grumblr must be… quite the thing. Izuku was itching to go online. He hadn’t touched his phone since this morning. It wasn’t really ideal to check now so all he had to go on was whatever he and Kacchan saw on Mitsuki’s phone.

 

And it was all sorts of what the hell is going on!?

 

The WhoTube videos were in a riot of their own. There were clips subtitled or horribly dubbed with knock-knock jokes, movie dialogs, pick-up lines, nachos, pillows, ice creams, and fireworks among other random things. And of course, how could there not have been a video that ended with a rickroll—”Never gonna giiiive you up!” “Shut up, Deku.” “Never gonna let you down!” “ Mom! ”—and another one with John Cena’s music?

 

Still, nothing trumped the one where Kacchan was inviting Izuku to actually fuck. That was totally embarrassing to watch in front of their mothers, not because it was hot but because it was very disturbing. Kacchan sounded like an ikemen from a noon time drama and Izuku sounded like a squeaking pulley.

 

“Be mine and breed with me, baby.”

 

“Uhhnn… Knot me and seed me, Zero-kun.”

 

And then the screen went black and then… And then… All the moaning , holy fuck !

 

Kacchan could’ve well punched that close button with all his power condensed on the tip of his thumb.

 

Izuku had no idea what a damn knot was but he was sure that clip just exhausted so much of his shame that his every iteration in all known and unknown universes both past and present had shrieked all at the same time. Kacchan’s outrage was so damn high, he lost the will and ability to speak. The man was red to his ears and down to his neck, looking like he was about to catch fire enough for Endeavor to consider adopting him.

 

For a moment, Izuku thought he was going to detonate , but no. All Kacchan did was to take a deep breath and hold it in for some two to three seconds—”K-Kacchan?”—before giving the phone back to his mother, storming into the smaller bathroom, and slamming the door closed.

 

And.

 

Then.

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHFUUUUUUUUCKINHEEEEEELLIZZAAAAAAAAATSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!?!”

 

The echoes of unintelligible hollering—”GAAAARGHLGARBLGAAAARGH!”—came with the loud spray of water and the sound of anarchy waiting to burst out of that door. Izuku was all “ same, Kacchan” deep inside except the explosions were happening inside his head. He was just about to ask Kacchan if he was okay when the man started barking for a towel.

 

“Deku, I need a towel!”

 

Well, yeah, okay, sure, that was nice except Izuku didn’t know where the towels were.

 

“Deku!”

 

“Wh-wha—!” Izuku fidgeted and got up from the couch, unsure what to do except ask where to find said towels.

 

“Katsuki!” The blonde woman in the living room snapped from where she was standing.

 

Perhaps it was just Izuku being paranoid, but he could somehow feel Mitsuki’s eyes on him and Izuku felt very, very conscious. Part of his mind suggested that perhaps this was what it felt to have in-laws. But that would mean he and Kacchan were married, which they weren’t.

 

But they could be .

 

Except they weren’t .

So back to the present reality, Kacchan kept yelling anyway—“They’re in the connected bath in the bedroom, god damn it!”—like he got called out for being out-of-character based on his personality from five damn years ago.

 

“Katsuki! Stop yelling at Izuku-kun, you little shit!”

 

Thank you, mother.

 

Izuku blushed like an idiot.

 

“B-bedroom...! Right...! Gotcha…!” So off went the little dreamy Bakugou Izuku— SHDAJKHDSKAHDAKL, stop it, brain —stepping into the bedroom aaaaand shit .

 

The entire space was filled with the fragrance of Midoriya Katsuki. Izuku had an internal seizure at that thought. Hoooooly lord, that was not a healthy thought to have while being in this room. Izuku wanted to have some prolonged moments of zen in here if only the owner of the house wasn’t having a temper eruption for the sake of a towel .

 

With another deep breath—He felt like a creep—Izuku slowly tiptoed inside—Why was he doing that—as he eyed the significantly large bed that could easily fit two people. He knew it was of that size because Kacchan moved around in his sleep, sprawled out like an antenna desperate for reception. But, hey, the fact remained that it could fit two people.

 

Izuku willed away every urge to jump onto the mattress and wrap himself in the sheets to make a cozy little nest of blankets and pillows while reading fanfiction right in the middle of it—just like how he did back at his own place but this time, here . And Kacchan could be snoozing next to him if not working on his laptop on the large corner desk.

 

Out there, it could be raining. It could be sunny. It could be snowing. It could be hell freezing over.

 

In here, it would be amazing.

 

“Deku!”

 

Kacchan’s loud yelling broke him out of his daydream, making him realize that he was already in the connected bathroom. Izuku grabbed the still damp towel off the hanger and ran out—”Don’t sniff it. Don’t sniff it. Don’t sniff it.”—almost bumping into Mitsuki who had made her way into the bedroom to help him.

 

Oh, dear.

 

Izuku blushed furiously at the thought that this was Kacchan’s mother . Well, that was odd. Mitsuki was no stranger. He wasn’t sure why he was so conscious.

 

DEKU!

 

Kacchan’s voice grabbed him back from his thoughts and into reality.

 

“A-ah! E-excuse me. I-I’m sorry.” Izuku mumbled and walked around Bakugou Mitsuki—Bakugou Katsuki’s mother . Why did that matter?—before hurrying towards the smaller bathroom.

 

“Where is it!?” Kacchan sounded so impatient as the door cracked open. “Where are y—!?”

 

Izuku shoved the towel in his face, not looking at him at all . He knew full well what dry Kacchan did to him. Dripping wet Kacchan would be temptation personified. It would surely send Izuku into some sort of damn AU without him asking for it.

 

“Kacchan, for the record, I am not your slave and I don’t live here!” Izuku grumbled loudly before marching back into the living room without letting Kacchan get a word out. He missed the rather surprised look on the man’s face, a bit apologetic, and kind of suddenly shaken at being slapped by the fact that yeah, they weren’t together.

 

They weren’t together.

 

Maybe not yet. Izuku thought.

 

Maybe never. Katsuki closed the door.

 

“You go tell ‘im, Izuku-kun!” Mitsuki clapped once in full approval before going on a longer tirade at how Katsuki was being an entitled brat before mumbling, “Wait, you don’t live here?”

 

Inko shrugged.

 

Izuku was too busy telling himself to keep his shit together as he sat back down on the couch next to his mother. This wasn’t the time for his brain to be flying off elsewhere, thinking of engagement and fake dating AUs.

 

Kacchan came out shortly with nothing but a towel around his waist and AJHDLKADHAKLDHALK. Izuku’s eyes were unblinking as he followed the half-naked beautiful creature tread towards the habitat known as the bedroom. All the Nnngh™. What Izuku wouldn’t give to be allowed to follow him in there and see exactly what was under that towel—yeah, a dick, probably (probably!?), but what kind?

 

Izuku wanted to roll on the couch and scream at himself.

 

Thank god he didn’t make any inappropriate noises in the presence of their mothers!

 

The Lord is testing me .

 

“But tell me, Izuku-kun.” Mitsuki spoke as they waited for Kacchan to re-emerge. “That was you in the video, right?”

 

“Y-yes.” He nodded.

 

“What was really going on there?”

 

I roleplayed as the cafeteria tumbleweed and that somehow summoned your son to me.

 

“U-um…” Izuku scratched his head. “W-well, I tripped and Kacchan helped me up. There was chocolate on my mouth so he wiped it off with a thumb.”

 

That was not a lie. Not the entire truth, but not a lie either. Hooookay. He was fine. This was fine. Everything was going to be fine.

 

“With that expression?” Mitsuki looked rather suspicious and Izuku didn’t know what she was on about. Sure, Kacchan looked soft and concerned but that was because Izuku almost tripped himself dead , right?

 

“Okay, that’s enough of watching any other suggested shit.” Kacchan grumbled as he stepped out of the bedroom and into the living room. He was wearing a tanktop and white shorts. There was a strong urge to put tape on his nipples that were torpedoing through the cloth.

 

“The engagement one was on the front page, okay?” Mitsuki explained at her approaching son because, of course, she couldn’t let the previous conversation just die without having the last word. “So I thought the burrito and the others were parodies.”

 

Kacchan groaned.

 

“I swear to god , mom!”

 

“I’m sorry.” Inko finally said meekly as she looked at her fingers. “I was the one who found the video. I panicked and sent it to Mitsuki without thinking.” And then she looked up at the previously arguing blonde mother and son who had now both fallen silent. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

 

“Awww, mom…” Izuku lovingly wrapped his hands around his cute and chubby mother. “It’s not like you did anything bad or evil.

 

Sure, she and Mitsuki almost gave Izuku a heart attack and totally ruined his napping time with Kacchan while now being on the verge of exposing his knowledge of the fandom… But, yep, aside from that, it wasn’t all that bad.

 

Meanwhile, Kacchan made a very confused noise. Mitsuki grumbled, grabbed a throw pillow, and hit her son with it in true Bakugou fashion.

 

“Now look at what you made your mother-in-law feel!”

 

“Ow!” Kacchan stepped out of her range, yelling as he did. “She is not my mother-in-law, you witch! Why are you like this!?”

 

Izuku’s world shook for half-a-second. Ah, his chest hurt? Maybe it was the lack of sleep.

 

“So what the fuck’s a ZeKu?” Mitsuki said, plopping on the couch so that Inko was between her and Izuku. “Who do I sue for this?”

 

Jeeeeeeeeesus Christopher, please let it go.

 

Izuku wanted to scream . Kacchan just rolled his eyes away.

 

“Good luck trying to sue the fandom, mom.”

 

Izuku’s vision flickered upwards.

 

Well, that was a rather particular response. He let his gaze linger for a bit but neither Kacchan’s face nor his body language was giving away anything .

 

“But what is a ZeKu?” Mitsuki asked again, honestly curious and Izuku… Ah, crap .

 

Clearly, this ZeKu curiosity wasn’t going away if Bakugou Mitsuki had her sights on it. As it seemed, it wouldn’t be fruitful for Izuku to feign ignorance, as that might only just result in on-the-spot research . And that would be… dangerous. So Izuku had to take control of this conversation without outing his fanboy shipper self. Sure, he was a Hero fanboy but this was another thing all by itself.

 

“Well…” Izuku was not sure what to lead with. There was a thin line to tread in pretending to know just enough in a minefield of wrong things to say. One wrong step, one wrong word, and that could set off a chain of explosions that would end up with letting these three people barge into Izuku’s shipping paradise—the last three people on the damn planet that he wanted to be in this world.

 

Whoopie!

 

“It’s… It’s just a fan thing…” Izuku began, scratching his head.

 

That  immediately prompted an explanation of what the fandom was roughly about. Izuku talked about ships, about how fans liked pairing this person and that person, and how they made different content based on it—fast and concise, short and sweet. Less talk, less mistakes. Izuku felt like he was diffusing a bomb.

 

They had many questions. Or rather, Mitsuki had many questions.

 

Was this legal? Yes. Who started it? No one knew. Was anyone moderating it? No, the fandom could not and should not be policed. Was it safe? Yes or no depending on who was being asked. What about minors? Izuku wasn’t sure but there were platforms that were only for adults and minors who sauntered in there were going to be at fault. Who made these horrible pairing names? The fans. “And they aren’t horrible, mother.” But Izuku didn’t say that.

 

Was there porn? Why this was even brought up, he didn’t know but he just answered with, “As far as I know, yes.”

 

Now that last question made Izuku’s heart stop but the next one just obliterated his awareness.

 

“So…” Inko asked as she thoughtfully looked up, one finger on her chin before turning to Izuku. “Who do you ship?”

 

Who did he—okay, what ?

 

He was not prepared for that .

 

Those were four words that Izuku never expected to come out from Midoriya Inko. Izuku was suddenly understanding Mitsuki’s desire to sue someone.

 

Internet, what have you indirectly done to my mother!?

 

“A-ah…” Izuku tilted his head, trying his darnest not to glance at Kacchan. “Well, I’m not sure if I’m understanding your question correctly but I… Am… Not required to ship anyone, mom...”


She made a curious sound but seemed to be convinced.

 

Well, it wasn’t totally a lie so it could be considered a good answer, perhaps. After all, feigning confusion or innocence was not the best card to play here. Not with Bakugou Katsuki staring at him intently the entire time. He had not asked a single question or shown any sort of interest in this which only meant that he either already knew or he was thinking about this very seriously. And a seriously thinking Kacchan was not something Izuku would like to play mind games with. Especially not after learning that this man was very quick to pick up on Izuku’s body language even from afar. So the best course of action here was not “tell the truth”, but was more of “not to lie”.

 

“But if you had to ship someone…” Mitsuki said as she inched closer, whispering like a high school girl who was asking for a friend’s crush. “Who’d it be?”

 

For the love of god!

 

“Ummm…” Izuku looked around shiftily. How the heeeeeeeeeeell was he going to answer that?

 

“Hmm, well, that’s kind of difficult.” He said again. Not a lie.

 

“The whole thing involves real people so it’s kind of odd for me.”

 

Still not a lie.

 

“Like recently I learned about a Chargebolt and Cementoss ship and that was like…” Izuku cringed to finish his sentence.

 

Still not lying. So far, so good.

 

Kacchan made a very surprised face of “Chargebolt and who !?”  To which Izuku responded with wide his eyes and shot up eyebrows as if to say, “I know , right?”

 

I’m sorry and thank you for your sacrifice, Golden Omega.

 

“And you?” Mitsuki looked at her son, nudging his calf with her big toe. “Who’dya ship?”

 

“My fist and a villain’s face.” Kacchan replied nonchalantly.

 

“Oh, come on , Katsuki.”

 

“It’s like he said.” Kacchan pointed to Deku with his chin. “This shipping thing involves real people. It’s too much to just ask us who do you ship like come on . These are my co-workers , damn it…!”

 

That seemed to be a good enough answer for Mitsuki. She made an unsatisfied noise but decided not to press.


“But how do you know all these fan things if you’re not into it?” Inko asked her son.

 

Ah, Izuku was prepared for that .

 

“A friend was talking about it.” Izuku replied, making sure to look at no one else but his mother. “Our other friend found fanmade stuff about him. He kinda got carried away and talked about everything. It was a lot to digest and he was, uh, kinda confused.”

 

Izuku made a mental note to treat Kaminari to lunch or something.

 

“Izuku,” Inko said again, touching his hand and pausing to look at him and make sure that she had his attention. “I don’t mean to put both of you on the spot but I have something to ask.”

 

“Yeah?” Izuku threw Kacchan a quick glance but found him unmoving and unfazed. He was standing with his weight on his left leg, one hand in his pocket as he looked at Inko.

 

Something about this was strange but Izuku was too focused on looking like “not guilty” to put more thought into it.

 

“You and Katsuki-kun…” She began, looking at Mitsuki who just nodded for her to continue. Kacchan made a face at the exchange but said nothing.

 

“...Are you dating?”

 

WH—

 

WUH—

 

“Are we what !?” Izuku’s already wide eyes grew wider. His eyelids probably rolled back into his scalp.

 

Okay, so Izuku should have been expecting that question but he wasn’t . Not like this! Not all of a sudden! Not from his mother and not in front of Kacchan and Kacchan’s mother !

 

What the hell!?

 

“M-mom..!” He exclaimed, pulling his hand back instinctively but his mother’s fingers held on.

 

“Izuku.”

 

Oh, hell, Izuku was panicking.

 

“B-b-b-but, mom…!” He piped, searching her face for some other reason for this madness. This was one of those moments when he, as a son, tried to send signals to his mother for help . And by help , he meant for her not to keep prying about this. But, noooooo. She just kept on staring at him for an answer. Izuku wasn’t sure if she didn’t understand or if she was dismissing his pleas of MOM, PLEASE, NO .

 

“W-what are y—I mean…!”

 

Damn. Okay. Shit. He wasn’t doing this alone. Villains were so much easier than moms .

 

Izuku glanced at Kacchan who just stood there like a damn traitor. Excuse him? Excuse everyone? Excuse the Earth? Why was Izuku the only one in the spotlight trying to exorcise himself while Kacchan could not even be bothered to change his body language!?

 

...Except for his eyes, maybe. He was staring at Izuku, not angrily but meaningfully. Like he was waiting for his answer, too. And what the hell ? What did he want !? Since when was dating decided by only one person!?

 

“W-we’re… K-K-Kacchan and I…”

 

That was code for “ Help me , you jerk!

 

But Kacchan just kept staring at him because—Argh!

 

“We’re…!” Izuku turned back to his mother, trying to begin his sentence except he really wasn’t sure what to say. What were they? Friends? Just friends? Really? Was he really going to say that? In front of Kacchan ? That was like Izuku cockblocking himself thirty years into the future, damn it!

 

“W-we’re…”

 

Behind his mother, Izuku could see Mitsuki being more interested in her own son than whatever the answer to this question was. She was uncharacteristically silent as she leaned back casually, elbow on resting on the back of the chair, legs crossed, and head looking up at her Katsuki. The son was nonchalantly standing like nothing important was going on. It was almost like he was impatient.

 

“We’re...”

 

Izuku really didn’t know what to say anymore.

 

Better be honest, then.

 

“We’re friends...”

 

Only then did Izuku realize how much he didn’t want to say that as soon as the words left his mouth. He never knew words could leave such a bitter aftertaste.

 

Izuku. ” Inko squeezed his fingers tighter, leaning forward, eyes determined as if telling him to try harder .

 

“It’s true, auntie.” Kacchan finally spoke up and Izuku wanted to kick him in the shin for being late and useless to this conversation. He was having a crisis god damn it.

 

“We were just talking about it earlier today.” The blonde man continued, scratching the back of his neck. “That we’re just good friends.”


Really good friends.” Izuku followed up immediately because the word “ just” made Izuku want to cry and pick a fight at the same time.

Childhood friends.” It sounded like Kacchan was correcting him.

 

“More than just…!” Izuku exclaimed. He wasn’t sure what face he was making but Kacchan’s eyes widened so, so slightly. As if he wasn’t expecting that. The expression lasted for almost less than a second before he spoke again.

 

“...More than just.”

 

Inko made a small sound. Kind of sad. Mitsuki hummed and Izuku wasn’t sure if she was amused or disappointed.

 

What did their mothers know that he didn’t?

 

“I-it’s kind of complicated to explain…!” Izuku smiled wanly, scratching his head because this felt so, so awkward.

 

“It always has been.” Kacchan mumbled without a change in expression, posture, or demeanor.

 

“Then…!” Inko continued almost hopefully. Izuku looked at her small hands still gripping his fingers. “Why are these people producing things that make it look like you two are in a romantic relationship? Why would they if they saw no hope in you to being together?”

 

Hope.

 

In being together.

 

“A-ah…” Izuku was not sure what to say to that and based on the face Kacchan was wearing right now, neither did he.

 

“This is...” Kacchan mumbled, jaw tight, eyes looking unfocused. “He’s… I’m… I… I just...”

 

Ah! Ah! He was being overwhelmed by this question. Kacchan didn’t have proper emotional faculties for this right now. This wasn’t good. He was going to be misunderstood again. Izuku had to do something.

 

“They want one of two things.” Mitsuki finally spoke up. That was the only time Kacchan turned his head to look at her. “Either a lawsuit or a hammer in the jaw.”

 

Mom. ” Kacchan snapped at her before sighing heavily, running a hand down his face in what seemed to be frustration. “That is enough of this. We aren’t dating. The video is fake. And my brain is already telling me to conquer a fucking city! So enough!

 

Inko finally released Izuku’s hands.

 

“What time is it?” Kacchan growled as he padded into the kitchen. “I’m going to make lunch. Whaddya guys want?”

 

“You haven’t had lunch yet!?” Mitsuki exclaimed, looking around in search for a clock. “It’s already two! What have you been doing!?”

 

Kacchan discreetly glanced at Izuku—softly and almost longingly—and then walked into the kitchen with a barely audible response.


“...Sleeping.”

Chapter Text

Lunch was curry rice.

 

Izuku neither liked nor hated curry but this one in particular was going to be made by his mother and his crush and if anyone thought that wasn’t adorable then, in the immortal words of Kacchan— Die .

 

At first, Mitsuki was telling Inko to just let Katsuki handle everything but the smaller woman was insistent, saying that it was her fault that they were here in the first place. Mitsuki wanted to argue but Inko had already decided. Decided!

 

Meanwhile, Kacchan didn’t look like he wanted her in his kitchen. But it was more out of nervous embarrassment than anger. The way he glanced at Izuku obviously meant “ help me, you nerd ” but, well, how the tables had turned! Izuku pretended not to see him.

 

But karma was a bitch, they said. Letting his mother go into the kitchen with Kacchan left him with Bakugou Mitsuki.

 

Izuku’s brain immediately kicked off to think of excuses to get him out of this place but the only thing his brain could provide was “I’ma water the plants”. Except Kacchan had no plants and it was raining outside so… Yeah. So he sat there and entertained her.

 

Mitsuki talked about the video again, much to Izuku’s dismay. According to her, she “lost her shit” as soon as Inko sent her the link on Facenook and immediately decided to drive both of them here. She told him they first went to Izuku’s place but he wasn’t there so they drove over to Kacchan’s instead. They were trying to call them but neither of them were answering their phones.

 

“Ah!” Izuku bit his lip. “Oh, right! The phones are still in the bag!”

 

“Huh?” Mitsuki asked, kind of lost. “What bag?”

 

And so Izuku told her about Kacchan waking him up at boo in the morning—”Ahaha! Boo in the morning!”—and how Izuku headbutted her son by accident. She found that amusing, too, because “Katsuki needed that”. He skipped the part about the awkward exchange of “come inside me” and the hug, of course, and jumped to when Kacchan just flat out told him they were going on a run without asking for Izuku’s opinion.

 

“Ohhhhh, how rude.” Mitsuki touched her own cheek. “I’m sorry my stupid boy did that. He’s a moron.”

 

“Ah, no! It wasn’t so bad…!” Izuku smiled widely, surprised at how he was actually enjoying this conversation. He told her about how he had to pack his clothes along with towels and water bottles because Kacchan didn’t bring his own. Mitsuki found that rather strange, as Katsuki was always keen on these details. And Izuku made sure she know he agreed with that.

 

“Well, Katsuki is smart but you sometimes make him lose his marbles, you know?” Mitsuki smiled before gently ruffling Izuku’s hair. “So thank you for taking care of Katsuki.”

 

Eh? What did she mean by that?

 


 

 

In the kitchen, Katsuki was beyond conscious. Deku’s mom was in the kitchen and they were going to cook curry rice. Together. He was struggling to keep his effing soul anchored to the fucking realm of the goddamn living.

 

On his own, Katsuki could whip up that shit and make angels cry. With Deku’s mom, he wasn’t so sure. And it wasn’t because she was stupid or untalented. It was because she was Deku’s mom. What the hell!? What if he fucked up without meaning to!? Stupid fucking Deku not even saying anything to rescue his friend .

 

“So do we have everything?” Inko said with a smile as she looked at the ingredients they had brought out. Katsuki could only nod because he couldn’t decide if he should go with “Yeah” or “Yeah, ma’m.” Both sounded like shit.

 

“Okay, then. I’ll cut the chicken meat and—”

 

“N-no! Let me!” Katsuki gasped, shaking his head because he didn’t want her handling a knife and getting cut by accident. Ah, should he have said please? Please let me? Let me please? Please, no? No, please? God damn it, why was this so difficult!?

 

“E-eh?” She blinked at him. “Okay, then. So… I’ll wash the vegetables?”

 

Katsuki nodded again, trying not to make eye contact because who knew if his eyes suddenly shot lasers and stuff.

 

“I think it’s amazing that you have raw meat stocked in your refrigerator.” Inko said from across the kitchen, smile evident in the way she spoke. Katsuki was not sure what to say to that. Thank you? All right? Sure? Fuck, yeah?

 

God, why was he being such a failure right now?

 

In the living room, he could hear Deku and his mother chattering. He wondered what she was telling him. Hopefully nothing shitty.

 

Stupid Deku being such a ray of fucking sunshine. Everyone loved him. It was so easy to love him. God damn that pretty little shit. Why couldn’t Katsuki be like that when socializing? God fucking damn it .

 

“Katsuki-kun.” Inko began. Only his eyes moved to look at her. The sound of running water slowly died as she turned off the faucet with a squeak. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier.”


“H-huh?” Katsuki stopped slicing the meat into cubes so he could watch her approach.

 

“I’m sorry.” She said, putting the washed vegetables on the table and sorting them out as she kept on talking. “...For putting you in an awkward situation like that by asking Izuku if you were dating.”

 

“O-oh.” Katsuki still wasn’t sure what to say to that. “I…”

 

“I hurt you.” She said, glancing up to look at Izuku and Mitsuki who were still talking in the living room before briefly turning to the blonde man next to her. “And I deeply apologize.”

 

Okay, Katsuki was new to this. He wasn’t used to people being this nice to him. What was she talking about, though? Why would she get the impression that he was hurt? Was it because of how he reacted to them not knowing that the video was fraud? Or was it because he was yelling at Deku so much?

 

“Wh-what…?” Proper words weren’t coming out as the pace of his meat cutting slowed down. “Hurt? Me? No, I...”

 

“I didn’t mean to force such words out of Izuku.” She looked down at the potato before turning around so she could grab a knife to peel it with. Inko sighed and laughed softly. “It must be me getting old, not learning how to read the atmosphere.”

 

Katsuki only made a small noise. Should he say she wasn’t old? Or should he curse the atmosphere?

 

“But I do apologize.” She said, taking time to smile at him before working on the potatoes again. “I’m sure that if Izuku had time to think, he—”

 

“N-no! That’s…!” Katsuki exclaimed and then gasped upon realizing how loud he had been. He glanced at Deku and his mother in the living room. Mitsuki was still laughing and Deku was smiling cheerily.

 

Katsuki’s chest was starting to tighten.

 

“That’s…” He was talking to Inko but was unable to peel his eyes off her son. “That’s not…!”

 

Katsuki-kun. ” She gave his wrist a soft squeeze, making Katsuki gasp again. He turned to her and she looked up with eyes so soft and full of understanding.

 

“We know .” Inko said again, softly. Very softly. She went back to the potato. “I know. Your mother knows. We’ve always known.”

 

Katsuki would’ve asked “Known what?” except he knew the answer. His heart was skipping beats and his mind was telling him to run. Midoriya Inko knew . She knew Katsuki loved her son. And she was confronting him right now with the softest motherly expression that Katsuki ever had to deal with. This wasn’t fair. Why was the world tackling him with feelings that he was new to?

 

“I’m sorry for not respecting your decision to keep quiet.”

 

Ah. It seemed mothers really knew everything. Perhaps that came with parenthood. Katsuki just looked away, unable to even grumble at this nice woman.

 

“I-it’s… It’s fine.” Katsuki said lowly, wondering where all his will to shout and curse went. “D-Deku… I-Izuku... He… He wasn’t lying. We’re really just

 

A single traitorous tear rolled down his cheek without his fucking permission.

 

Fuck.

 

FUCK.

 

“Ah.” Katsuki turned around swiftly, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.

 

What was that? What was he doing? What was happening? Why was he suddenly hurting? Something was stuck in his throat. He shouldn’t cry. He didn’t want to cry. Katsuki bit his lip hard, not caring if it bled.

 

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t let any of them see you cry.

 

“I-I’m sorry, Auntie, I...” Fuck. His voice cracked. “I guess, I…”

 

There was a need to say something for the sake of talking because he didn’t want her to think his mind was in disarray, which it was. He went to the sink and turned on the tap, pretending to wash his hands. The cold water hit his skin but that barely registered compared to the goddamn reality that was swinging like an aggressive boxer at him right now.

 

Villains were easier to deal with than feelings.

 

“Katsuki-kun.” She said as she started dicing the potatoes. He took a deep breath, willing the tears back.

 

“Yeah?” He asked without turning around because if he did, he might see Deku and god damn if he was going to cry from seeing his stupid-ass smile.

 

“Thank you.” She said, barely audibly but meaningfully. “For taking care of Izuku.”

 

Katsuki closed his eyes and took a deep breath.


What did she mean by that !?

 


 

 

Izuku was starving .

 

It was Inko who called Mitsuki and Izuku to the table when the curry was done around half an hour later. Kacchan set the table. It was cute seeing him a bit nervous than he usually was, walking carefully around Inko, and talking to her about where she wanted him to put this and that despite this being his house . Izuku wanted to marry him right there and then.

 

“Katsuki, will you marry me?”

 

Izuku had to swallow a squeal as he took a seat. The table was only set for two. As it turned out, both mothers already had lunch and were content on munching on the gummy bears that Kacchan had. And that was okay except Kacchan had gummy bears ? Izuku needed a minute to process that.

 

So they sat around the table—him and Kacchan in front of each other and their mothers on either of their sides. Wow. Great. This could just be Izuku’s imagination but this looked like a date that was being chaperoned by not one but two mothers.

 

“Aaaah, and here I was wanting grandkids .” Mitsuki said with a pout before turning to her son and poking him in the forearm. “Katsuki, when are you giving me grandkids?”

 

“Mom, could you please —!” Kacchan moved his hand away with a glare. “Get a fucking dog or something!”

 

“Dogs. Aren’t. Human. Children !” She kicked him under the table hard enough to make him yelp. “If I was content with a dog, we wouldn’t have had you!”

 

“Stop pressuring me to start a family! My god !” Kacchan hollered, inching his chair away from her and taking his plate with him.  “Can we maybe stop talking about this now?!”

 

Mitsuki opened her mouth to say something but Kacchan kept going.

 

“Deku can marry and have children with whoever he likes!” Kacchan poured water for himself before glaring at Mitsuki. “I’ve had enough of this!”

 

Mitsuki only eyed him and said nothing.

 

What just happened?

 

Suddenly, Izuku felt like he wanted to cry.

 


 

 

Lunch was over without further issue or conversation. Izuku did the dishes with Kacchan in total silence and to say that it was awkward was an understatement. Not a word. Not a sound. Not a glance. Not a nudge. Izuku couldn’t even be turned on by the fact that their arms brushed against each other from time-to-time or that Kacchan’s hands were a strange kind of pretty with soap suds.


Was Kacchan angry? Annoyed? In deep thought? Perhaps if Izuku’s feelings didn’t get in the way then he could tell.

 

“Deku can marry and have children with whoever he likes.”

 

Izuku bit his lip. That was true. It just didn’t occur to him before. But he didn’t like the idea that Kacchan would give him away to anyone just like that.

 

Wait, “give him away”? Did Kacchan always have him ?

 

Izuku had a full fifteen minutes to think of what was happening but his brain could come up with none.

 


 

 

At four-thirty, both mothers were about to leave.

 

“Izuku-kun,” Mitsuki was saying now. “If you’re heading home, I can give you a lift. Just tell me where to drop you off.”

 

“A-ah.” Izuku said, trying to reorient himself. They were in the living room and walking towards the door. Kacchan was standing a good distance to his left. In front of him were Mitsuki and Inko headed out.

 

Ah.

 

What was she saying again? Home? Lift? Oh. Right. He had to go home, didn’t he? He was brought here only for breakfast, right?

 

Izuku looked at Kacchan.

 

Right?

 

Nothing.

 

Kacchan wasn’t saying anything. His face wasn’t giving anything away. And Izuku hated that. He realized he didn’t like not knowing what this man was thinking. He wasn’t used to it and it wasn’t a welcome feeling. That just made it all the more aggravating because Izuku had wanted to stay a little longer, to talk to him about anything and everything , about disjointed things that made no sense like the need for reforms or his opinion on how the sky was blue and not green.

 

Except did Kacchan want it?

 

Tell me to stay.

 

Or was it time to back away again?

 

Just tell me to stay and I won’t go.

 

But Kacchan kept being silent and Izuku kept hurting. None of them said anything.

 

Strange. Giving him space didn’t used to hurt like this before.

 

“I…” Izuku turned to Mitsuki. “Yeah, I’m… I’m tagging along with you if it’s okay.”

 

“I’ll see you out.” Kacchan finally said. Izuku nodded.

 

Mitsuki said her goodbyes with her son, hugging him in that boa constrictor method she had. Kacchan had complained a lot and she complained back, hitting him in the head and punching him in the shoulders. Not enough to hurt but just enough to matter.

 

And then they filed out, Inko and Mitsuki going first as Izuku followed. Kacchan was behind him because he had to close the door.

 

“Izuku.” Inko said softly as they stepped into the hallway. “Where are your manners?”

 

“A-ah…?” He blinked, not really sure what she meant. “What?”

 

His mind was too busy trying to wrap itself around the possibility that Kacchan’s house would be home to a family with someone who wasn’t Izuku.

 

“Aren’t you going to say goodbye to Katsuki-kun?”

Oh.

 

That.


Right.

 

“Right.” He turned around. Kacchan was at the entrance, one hand on the knob to keep the door pushed open. He stood there like a stranger and Izuku couldn’t even be comforted by the smell of nitroglycerin. The whiff of the same soap and shampoo was still there but barely. It was almost sad.

 

He was suddenly aware of how it was raining outside. The falling drops sounded like a prelude to a drama.

 

Mother Nature is crying in my stead?

 

“I…” Izuku looked up and was quite surprised to see red eyes staring right into his.


Tell me not to go.

 

“Um…” Izuku had his hands on his sides, fingers twitching in anxiety because he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to talk. He wanted to say something. But at the same time he didn’t want to intrude.

 

What was more important—Kacchan’s needs or his own wants? This was a simple matter, a simple question that he’d asked himself over and over again before. And the answer did not require him to think much.


It didn’t used to be this difficult.

 

“K-Kacchan…” He said, trying to find a way to say goodbye properly. And the man just stood there, waiting for him to continue. This silence was hurtful. It drained him like poison.

 

Why was he suddenly so closed off? Where was the man he was laughing with a while ago? What happened to that happy person that gave tickles and cooked shrimp fried rice? Who was it that came knocking at his door in response to being missed ?

 

Give my Kacchan back to me.

 

Ah, but why was this an issue? This wasn’t a farewell for good. They were going to see each other in the next day or two because they were working together, right?

 

Right.

 

Wrong.

 

Something about this moment felt significant despite not feeling entirely foreign. This air of distance and goodbye felt familiar except now it felt real . Like the end of a story. Or a beginning of a new one.

 

Or waking up from a dream but not really.

 

Izuku wanted to say goodbye but not really.

 

Not really.

 

“I…” He tried again. His fingers felt itchy. His arms wanted to move, wanted to grab, wanted to hold, wanted to hug .

 

He wanted a hug.


That should’ve been easy, right? They were friends. They said so. And friends could give hugs, right? No matter if they were two guys? He’d managed earlier. Why was it so difficult now?


Was it because their mothers were still watching in the hallway? Or was it because—

 

“We’ll meet you in the lobby Izuku-kun.” Mitsuki said like she could read his thoughts.

 

“Ah! No, wait! I’m sorry!” Izuku piped, not wanting to bother anyone else anymore. So he gathered the remnants of his mind, turned to Kacchan, but looked past him and chirped. “Th-thank you! S-see you at work!”

 

And then he bowed before turning to go, not even looking back.

 

He ran away.

 


 

 

It was one of the most surreal scenes Katsuki had experienced—Deku walking away from him like that.

 

And Katsuki just stood there , watching him leave even if every inch of him was screaming for him not to. If it were all up to Katsuki, he’d ask Deku to stay but he didn’t have any good reason to.

 

Now Katsuk was sitting on the floor, back against the closed door of his apartment. He didn’t have the will to move from this spot. It felt like if he stepped away from here, the cycle would truly end. Deku would no longer care again.

 

Aaaarrrgh! Katsuki tipped his head back as he rested his arms on his folded knees. He fucked up his impromptu breakfast invitation. He’d slept through lunch that he was to cook for him. His plan was to make katsudon together but even that just fizzled into thin air.

 

Because katsudon can’t be Katsudeku without you.

 

Up to this moment, Katsuki wasn’t sure why exactly he just ran all the way to Deku’s instead of taking his usual morning route. All he knew was that his feet moved on its own, planning the day in his head as he dashed excitedly, longingly, nervously . He was pretty sure he had plans for the day for the both of them. But all it took was one look at that freckled face and it was enough to rattle Katsuki’s brain.

 

His anxious feelings of being left behind came barrelling back at him. He suddenly reflected on how Deku had screamed “I missed you” in front of all those people, of what that actually meant, and that was just… too overwhelming . Katsuki’s resolve curled back into his tiny corner of anxiety.

 

Katsuki knew he should’ve said something about him earlier today. About them . Deku looked like he wanted to say something, too, but Katsuki wasn’t sure how to interrupt or if he should have interrupted at all.

 

“We’re friends.”

 

Weren’t they? Sure, Deku had been showing so much affection lately but the main question here was how long would this last ?

 

Ahhh, fuck. This season was going to leave him with more feelings this time around. Add that to the fact that they had to work together and wow, thanks, fate. Way to crush a man’s heart.

 

But it was a cycle, wasn’t it? Deku was going to come back like he always had. And Katsuki was still going to be here, like a stupid duck just waiting to be fucking shot .

 

“Some immortal fucking duck.” Katsuki mumbled to himself as he got up and went into his apartment.

 

Winter. Spring. Summer. Fall in love all over again.

 

What was he doing with his life?

 

“He is longing for someone.” Todoroki had told him. “Midoriya-kun is sad because someone who isn’t giving my friend the attention he deserves .”

 

That last word was stressed so hard, it could’ve been a brick made of ice. It was almost like he was blaming Katsuki for something and excuse him? The hell did he know about what the hell was going on? He was pretty and perfect and rich. Fucking shit . He held more value to Deku than he probably realized.

 

Katsuki almost punched the pretty boy right there and then.

 

Todoroki fucking Shouto.

 

The god damn perfect Todoroki Shouto who was giving his Deku head pats that made Katsuki want to flip an entire planet because fuck.

 

And then stupid fucking thunder dolt saying shit like “He was trying to chase after you but he almost broke his face”. Broke his face , as if there was such a thing.


Deku chasing after him, though. When was the last time that even happened?

 

When they were way, way younger, Katsuki remembered Deku to had always been walking behind him. Before he knew it, one day, they were suddenly walking together. And then suddenly, the fucking kiwi was walking all over the place, only returning to Katsuki from time-to-time.

 

Fucking hell .

 

Katsuki threw himself on the couch, his legs dangling off the armrests as he placed an arm over his eyes to keep himself from doing something stupid like crying.

 

“Let me just fucking give up already.” Katsuki groaned into his empty apartment. “Just let this be over .”

 

It was four forty-five in the afternoon. It was still raining outside.

 


 

 

DING DONG!

 

Only when the doorbell started ringing did Katsuki realize he had fallen asleep. The back of his knees fucking hurt , god damn it.

 

“Ahh?” Katsuki stirred—DING DONG!—sitting up rather lazily as he rubbed his eyes. “Huuuh?”

 

He glanced at the clock. Almost seven in the evening. His entire apartment was dark. Outside, it was raining harder.

 

The fuck was up with this weather?

 

DING DONG!

 

“Fuckin wait…!” Katsuki said as he yawned and stretched.

 

Why was today so exhausting? He trudged towards the door, scratching his belly as he did. Why did he have so many goddamn visitors today? What did he—Katsuki swung the door open—”KACCHAN!”

 

“WHA—!” Katsuki was so surprised that the first thing he did was jump back into his house and take up a fighting stance.

 

“GWAH!” Said the visitor that he least expected, crouching across the hallway right in front of Katsuki’s door. He had jumped back in surprise, too, almost hitting the other side of the wall with the large glass windows framing the view of a dark and rainy sky.

 

Deku was drenched and dripping from head to toe, his clothes clinging onto him as he sighed and straightened. Water traveled over his face, down his cheeks, dripping from his chin.

 

Katsuki looked at his eyes for a bit.

 

Had he been crying?

 

“Wh—” Katsuki began, suddenly feeling ridiculous that he was seriously squatting with his weight distributed to launch a strike or dodge an attack.

 

“You scared me!” The green idiot complained, a hand to his chest as he padded back towards the door.

 

I scared you!?” Katsuki hollered as soon as he realized that there was no threat and that he wasn’t in danger. “What the fuck are you even doing here, Deku!?”

 

“Oh! I…! I…!” Deku stammered, watching Katsuki march towards him. “I left something…!”

 

“Wh—” Katsuki darted his head back in surprise and looked back into his house before spotting a large bag that wasn’t his. The blonde man groaned and turned to the smaller one. “You left your fucking bag !?”

 

“A-ah…!” Deku jumped and poked his head into the house to see what Katsuki had been looking at before straightening and going, “Y-yeah, that, too! B-but—!”

 

“And you’re dripping wet…!”

 

“Y-yeah. Couldn’t wait for cab or bus. Ran back.” Deku nodded again, speaking hurriedly like the words were going to run away if he didn’t say anything. “But forget that! I—”

 

“You…!” Katsuki interrupted because all he could think of right now was how Deku was drenched and he was going to get a cold. So he grabbed the smaller man by the elbow and motioned to pull him inside. “Get your ass in—”

 

“Wait, no!” Deku pulled his arm back. “I need you to listen to me…!”

 

“Whatever that is, it can wait . Just—”

 

“It can’t wait!” Deku hollered, his voice pitching like he was really going to cry. And that effectively stopped Katsuki from grabbing him again to drag him inside the house.

 

What was happening? Katsuki was not understanding this.

 

Deku looked at him for a few moments as if to check if he was listening.

 

And he was.

 

“I…! I couldn’t…” The ridiculous green idiot stammered, his eyebrows scrunching, his lower lip trembling as water dripped from the tips of his hair. “I wasn’t… Able to properly say goodbye and I…”

 

He took a deep breath. Or was that a sob?

 

“I…”

 

... love you .

 

Katsuki thought, wished, hoped, prayed .

 

“I…!” Deku looked like he was going to run out of breath. Katsuki stood there waiting because his body gave him no choice.

 

“U-U-U-Uraraka…” Deku said again and Katsuki frowned a bit without thinking because Uraraka? Where was the nerd going with this?

 

“Uraraka usually gives us hugs… And…” Deku was pulling on the end of his wet shirt, wringing some of the water out of it uselessly. The back of Katsuki’s mind rambled about his need for a hot bath and a change of clothes. The idiot was trembling. Was it from the cold or something else?

 

“And we’re friends , aren’t we? We’re… We’re friends , you and I… And I… I...”

 

... love you. Katsuki’s brain supplied incessantly as if it was going to help.

 

“And I... I…” Deku looked like he was running out of breath and brain as his eyes slowly glistened, his lips twisting, biting, pursing. His cheeks puffed and Katsuki kept waiting. He’d always been waiting. Five years had gone by. What was five more minutes or five more hours?

 

“But I… Ah…” The idiot looked frustrated with himself. “Ah, what was I going to say?” Deku hit his head lightly before shaking it vigorously as if that could reset himself. “I-I’m sorry… Wait a sec, I… Ah, I’m so…”


The nerd was doing his best to say something.

 

Can’t let you do everything, can I?

 

“You know, there was this time…” Katsuki finally found the words, modulating his voice so it wouldn’t crack. Deku lifted his eyes. The splashes of confusion were somehow relatable to Katsuki. He took comfort in the slight idea that he wasn’t alone in this.

 

“Ashido was so happy about accomplishing something that wasn’t really all that important.” Katsuki continued, eyes unblinking and pasted on Deku because what if he disappeared with a blink?

 

“I don’t really remember what the entire thing was about but she flung her arms around me and shitty hair.”

 

Deku didn’t nod. Didn’t blink. Didn’t stir.

 

Deku swallowed hard.

 

“Kirishima was okay with it because he’s a dumb piece of shit.” Kacchan shrugged. “ I wasn’t quite thrilled being grabbed like that by Ashido.”

 

Deku took a deep breath. Kacchan’s eyes went past him, gazing out the window of the hallway that overlooked the city under rain.

 

“It was raining that day, too. Just like today.” He said thoughtfully. “And she was dripping wet, too. Just like you.”

 

Deku pursed his lips, his eyes filling with worry, glistening further as they fell to his feet.

 

“Y-yeah…” The green-haired man murmured.

 

I’m bad with words, sometimes.

 

“But…” Kacchan continued. “...You’re not Ashido, are you?”

 

But you get me...

 

The nerd lifted his head quickly, water springing from his hair like he was some plant that came to life.

 

...Don’t you?

 

“I-I’m not...” Deku whispered, voice trembling but more alive, more hopeful, more him . “I’m not…!”

 

Katsuki looked away, his cheeks flushed a nice shade of red.

 

There he was.

 

There’s my Kacchan.

 

That was all Izuku needed to take one step forward and wrap his arms around Kacchan’s midsection.

 

And everything was right with the world. Everything was okay. Anything before this didn’t matter anymore.

 

“Nerd.” Kacchan mumbled. His chest rumbled.

 

“Muhhh…” Was all Izuku could say.

 

Nothing compared to this. Kacchan was so nice and warm, in total contrast to how Izuku was cold and drenched. He was getting Kacchan wet, too, the water running down the man’s arms and making parts of his clothes stick to his skin, but he didn’t seem to mind. They’d made a pool by the door from how he was dripping wet, but that didn’t quite matter either. Izuku’s fingers clutched onto the man’s clothes, feeling himself tremble without being sure if he was cold or scared or happy or all of the aforementioned.

 

“Uwuuhh… Kacchan…” Izuku mumbled against his skin, feeling the man’s heart that was beating so hard, it was probably going to explode. And Izuku took note of it, remembered it.

 

This meant something.

 

This meant something.

 

“Kacchan…!”

 

Izuku hugged him tightly, squeezing his eyes shut, pressing his cheek against his shoulder, turning his head to the other side, sniffing his collarbone. He felt like he was going to cry but the tears weren’t coming at all.

 

“Kacchan…!”

 

“You absolute fucking Deku .” The blonde man finally said lowly. He wasn’t hugging back but that was okay because this time wasn’t like last time.

 

This time, Izuku was invited in. He didn’t have to warn Kacchan, didn’t have to ask, didn’t have to double check, or take him by surprise. Kacchan knew he was going for a hug and Izuku didn’t have to barge in.

 

He wasn’t an intruder anymore because Kacchan had made space for him. Izuku was welcome and that… That was progress , no matter how little it seemed.

 

“Kacchaaaan…”

 

There was no need for him to pull back anymore. If this man wanted space then Izuku was going to give him that… without leaving or turning his attention elsewhere. He could be here , in silence, giving him time. They didn’t have to talk right now or today or tomorrow or the day after that. But when the day came that Kacchan was ready to talk, Izuku was going to be damn sure that he would be here—being a friend but more than just.

 

For now, though, it was enough for Izuku to know that he “wasn’t Ashido”... or Kaminari. Or Kirishima. Or anyone of their friends.

 

He was Deku.

 

Thank god .

 

Outside, thunder rumbled and lightning flashed before the rain poured loud and hard like a roaring applause from the sky.

 

I’m not going anywhere. Izuku thought to himself. I’m not going anywhere without you anymore.

 

“If you think I’m letting you go out into that downpour, you are out of your mind.” Kacchan said lowly. Izuku smiled and lifted his head, pulling away only slightly but not letting go.

 

“You got a better idea?"

 

Kacchan looked down at him and raised an eyebrow.

 

"You can stay over." And then he shrugged. "If you want."

 

Just tell me to stay.

 

“I don’t know." Izuku smiled widely. "Do you have any clothes I can sleep in?”

 

I won’t go.

 

Chapter Text

 

8:18 PM. The rain was still unforgiving.

 

It had been more or less half an hour since Deku came running back to Katsuki’s apartment—drenched, dripping, and in dire need of attention. And god damn if Katsuki wasn’t going to provide. In fact, Katsuki was so happy, he didn’t even mind the nerd clinging onto him like a green water koala in the doorway.

 

But deciding on whether to hug back or not was a different story. Katsuki’s defenses were steeling itself on its own that it felt to be more of an internal struggle than just actual hesitation. With just one exchange, all of a sudden, it felt like they were in a new territory. And Katsuki wasn’t so keen on taking big and careless strides in it. His instincts wouldn’t let him take them that far.

 

They.

 

Them.

 

Us .

 

He wondered if it was alright to use those words. Saying it held more meaning now than how it used to.

 

There was a generous pool of water on Katsuki’s doorstep by the time Deku had calmed down. Normally, Katsuki would’ve gone inside to get a towel for his visitor to use so he could dry himself before entering his apartment. Water stains on the floor were as much as an eyesore as they were a bitch to remove after all. But this was Deku . Wet and dripping Deku . If he stayed out there too long, he was going to catch a cold or worse, a fever. And like hell Katsuki was going to let that happen under his watch. Deku getting sick in any way, shape, or form was a big no-no especially after Inko thanked him for taking care of her son.

 

So Katsuki invited him in, handed him a towel and clothes, and then made him take a hot shower in the bedroom’s connected bath. Although if Katsuki was going to be completely honest, he was willing to go as far as preparing a lavender bath—his mom often gave him some of her homemade lavender bath bombs to help him relax—but there was no time. The idiot needed a hot bath. Pronto .

 

And then there was dinner . What was the game plan for tonight’s meal?

 

Katsuki was supposed to make a fish and tofu stir fry dish tonight, but since it was raining outside, perhaps it would be better to spin that into soup. It was filling. It was warm. It was perfect for a meal on a rainy evening. And with that, Katsuki went to work.

 

First was marinating the fish meat into cornstarch, soy sauce, sesame oil, pepper, salt—wait did he have cooking wine? No? Dammit, would’ve been good with—”K-K-Kacchan, can I help?” “No. Get out of my kitchen.”—Ah where was he? Right, the marinade. He had to leave that for—”Kacchan, can I borrow your dumbbells?” “Bedroom. God damn it, leave me alone!”—Urgh.  So what was he doing again? Right. Marinade. Fifteen to twenty minutes. So next was slicing and dicing everything else—tofu, cilantro, scallion, cabbage, ginger—Hold on, did he have mushrooms?

 

Katsuki was too absorbed in getting the soup right that he only noticed what Deku was wearing when they were about to eat.

 

The nerd stepped in the bath looking like some chewed on gum that fell into a lake. He came out a fucking sin . Katsuki’s eyes almost fell out of their sockets as he watched Deku walk in and out of the kitchen to help him set the table in the living room.

 

The little green thing was walking around wearing one of his larger shirts. Or perhaps, more accurately, a large Ground Zero shirt.

 

Okay, so Katsuki knew he had pulled out a set of prototypes for his Hero merchandise. He’d intentionally done that. Not that that he was keen in seeing Deku wearing his merch. It just so happened that he had rejected merchandise prototypes that his parents designed and made for him. These weren’t available in the market and Katsuki wasn’t going to use them anyway so… Why not let the nerd try them on, right? It definitely wasn’t because he fancied the idea of plastering his trademarks all over the green-haired idiot like Katsuki owned him. This definitely had nothing to do with Katsuki wishing the omegaverse real. It was a practical move. Definitely a practical move!

 

Besides, Deku didn’t really seem to mind. He was actually quite thrilled to wear merch. Katsuki hadn’t told him they were rejected pieces, though.

 

So, yes. It was supposed to be a surprise to no one if Deku stepped out of there looking like a hardcore Ground Zero fanboy. But Katsuki didn’t expect the “ensemble” to look like this . Why was the shirt so large ? It looked like an oversized nightgown that fell below Deku’s fucking biteable thigh. How the fuck did this happen? And Katsuki was pretty sure he gave Deku a pair of shorts. Where were those!?


Katsuki mentally ran through a checklist of the clothes he’d lent the nerd.


First was a black shirt with his signature orange x-mark with two round dots on the left breast. He had three sizes of that in stock for some fucking bizarre reason. Deku was wearing what seemed to be a size large or was that extra large ? And although the nerd was smaller than Katsuki, he wasn’t really small . He was builty nicely with toned muscles because his acquired Quirk required it. That was why it felt so strange seeing him getting eaten by a giant shirt.

 

Beneath said shirt was also more Ground Zero merch. Katsuki was now feeling like perhaps giving Deku labeled underwear might have been too much but, well, too late.

 

Why his parents thought it would’ve been a good idea to sell Ground Zero underwear of all things, Katsuki would never know. But he knew it was an odd thing that he didn’t want his name on so he shot down that idea so damn fast because shame . It had GROUND ZERO written with thick and large letters across the fucking ass , for god’s sake! Katsuki got prototypes of it, nevertheless. They came in a pack of seven, which he never planned on opening. Until today.

 

As for the bottoms, well, Katsuki was sure he gave a pair of orange drawstring tennis shorts to Deku.

 

Except where were they ?

 

“The fuck happened to the shorts I gave you?” Katsuki was glaring at Deku’s thighs as hands from purgatory started grabbing onto Katsuki’s soul.

 

“Ah. What?” Deku turned towards him and looked down at his legs, frowning a bit in confusion before exclaiming. “Oh! I’m wearing them. The shirt is big so you can’t...”


And just like that, Deku so innocently lifted the hem of his oversized curtain shirt so Kacchan could see for himself that he was wearing the damn pair of tennis shorts. Holy fuck, were those supposed to be that short or were Deku’s thighs just to grrrgh !? The words GROUND ZERO were emblazoned on the lower part of the left leg except all Kacchan could see was his Deku lifting his fucking skirt, er, shirt— shirt , god damn it! He was lifting his shirt like some kind of effing invitation and that was just—”I DIDN’T ASK FOR A DEMONSTRATION, YOU HALFWIT! GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!”

 


 

 

Tofu and fish soup prep and cook time took around forty-five minutes. They ate for an hour.  It was the most difficult dinner Katsuki had to go through in his entire life.

 

Deku’s thighs were so god damn distracting!

 

Why the fuck did the nerd’s shorts keep riding up his fucking limb when he was seated cross-legged on the floor? The damned thing hid deeper under the large shirt and made it look like he was wearing nothing underneath. Katsuki was having visions of bending the nerd over and fucking him in the ass. It would be so easy to yank those tennis shorts down, too. Somehow, the idea of pulling it off Deku’s legs and flinging it on the living room floor without a care was very appealing to Katsuki. What face would Deku make, though? Would he panic? Would he be embarrassed? Or would he be willing and naughty?

Would he be open to roleplay…?

 

“Play with me, Kacchan.”

 

Oh, god ! Not now!

 

“This is so good!” Deku exclaimed loudly, sending Katsuki’s thoughts into a spinning hamster wheel. It was a challenge trying to stay in touch with reality while his imaginary Deku was screaming “This is so good!” while being taken on the living room floor.

 

Katsuki grabbed a glass of water and chugged it down like he was parched earth in need of flood .

 

“I’m so amazed at how you can plan meals as complicated as this.” Deku mumbled as he blew on the soup spoon.

 

“It’s not a big deal.” Katsuki said, trying not to be distracted by the myriad of things those puckered lips could be wrapped around. Deku made a small sound and ate a spoonful of fish and tofu soup before responding.

 

“Well, for you , maybe.” The nerd pouted a bit and then smiled. “Kacchan is amazing…!”

 

“I know.” Katsuki lifted the spoon to his mouth. “You always say that.”

 

Deku was scooping up some tofu from his bowl but he stopped and frowned.

 

“Kacchan, why do you always respond with that every time I say you’re amazing?”

 

Katsuki shrugged.

 

“Because it’s true.”

 

“It kind of diminishes the praise.” Deku watched his blonde friend lift his bowl and drink the soup with loud slurping sounds. “It’s like you don’t believe that I think you’re amazing because I say it too often.” Deku put his spoon down by hooking it onto the edge of the bowl. “And I do mean it, Kacchan. I do think you’re amazing…!”

 

Katsuki kept slurping his soup, hoping for the conversation to end there. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Deku’s… admiration. Katsuki just didn’t want himself to read too much into it. And to be honest, he was in no mood to think about it right now.

 

But Deku just kept on pouting as he waited for Katsuki to put the bowl down.

 

“Okay,” The blonde man frowned as he wiped the corners of his mouth with the meat of his palm. ”What fucking conspiracy theory is going on in that pasture head of yours? I never said you didn’t mean it. Shut the hell up.”

 

Katsuki was supposed to leave it at that but green eyes kept glaring at him from the side.

 

The fuck?

 

“Look, nerd, it’s just fish and tofu soup. It didn’t even take an hour to make.”

 

“Only because you already know how to do it.” Deku leaned forward, slamming his hand on Katsuki’s thigh and ohhhh, boy, that was not a good idea.

 

“Deku.”

 

“I mean, I’d probably screw up the tofu and the fish would taste bland.” Deku squeezed. Katsuki swallowed a groan, willing his face muscles to stay stiff and solid and firm and unaffected.

 

“Deku, get your hand off of me.”

 

“How do you even know how much is too much soy sauce anyway?” The dense and shitty nerd leaned closer in a rather determined fashion that resulted in more weight on the hand pressed against Katsuki’s thigh. Katsuki’s dick started to wake up. This shit was not helping any.

 

“And the soup.” Deku kept going. “How much is too much soup before it loses flavor, huh? I don’t even know that!”


“Fine! I get it!” Katsuki growled, gripping Deku’s wrist and prying the fingers off of his thigh. “Now let go!”

 

At first, Deku didn’t understand what Katsuki was talking about until he realized the hold on his wrist.

 

“A-ah…!” Deku pulled away, inching back towards his spot timidly. He looked a bit embarrassed and Katsuki was so close to apologizing while squeezing those freckled cheeks between his palms.


“I-I’m sorry.” Deku looked down on his food with wan smile. “I got carried away is all. I didn’t mean to, um… I didn’t mean to surprise you.”

 

Katsuki grumbled and looked away.


Fuck, now he felt bad. God damn it.

 

“I really do think you’re amazing, though.” Deku fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I mean, even your own merch looks—”

 

“That’s an old prototype my parents designed.” Katsuki interrupted for the sake of saying something to change the topic at the same time.

 

“Yeah, but…” Deku stopped short, eyebrows furrowed. “Wait. Did you just say old prototype ?”

 

Katsuki nodded, but didn’t miss the nerd’s sudden change in tone.

 

Deku pulled the end of his shirt forward—god damn it, stop doing that—so he could look at the entirety of the design. He chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully mumbling out the corners of his mouth. Great. Channeling his inner nerd. Sometimes, it was annoying. Other times, it was cute. Katsuki wasn’t sure which one of that was currently surfacing.

 

“The giant orange X-mark is luminous.” Katsuki added just to test the waters. It was most definitely not because he wanted Deku to freak out or gush over Kacchan’s merch. It absolutely didn’t make Katsuki any bit happier or proud or anything like that. He just thought maybe the nerd would want to know that the giant design on the shirt he was wearing would glow in the fucking dark . No biggie.

 

“Nooo.” The short word was long, drawn out, and a bit breathy. Deku’s head slowly turned with big, unbelieving green eyes towards Katsuki, drawing a breath that would’ve warped time and space if it had been just a little bit sharper .

 

“Yes.” Katsuki frowned a little because what, did this bitch think he’d lie about it? “It looks nice but—”

 

“Hold that thought...!” Deku shushed him by tapping a finger against Katsuki’s lower lip before hurriedly running to the kitchen then back to the living room and then back to the kitchen like his feet were acting on the orders of an external, independent, third-party brain.

 

“Darkness. Darkness.” Deku mumbled like a green Tokoyami bootleg. “Where is it dark!?”

 

Katsuki watched him rather curiously. It was like observing an animal react to human technology. Amusing.

 

It took a second more before Deku had an epiphany to run into the smaller bathroom and slam the door behind him.

 

Katsuki tilted his head. What the—”OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!”

 

Deku’s roaring outburst hit Katsuki so unexpectedly that the blonde got up and fucking leapt over the living room table—”Deku!” “AAAAAAAAA!”—to get to the bathroom as fast as he could.

 

“DEKU!” Katsuki hollered rather worriedly, fingers just an inch away from grabbing the doorknob before the shitty nerd burst out of that door like a fucking missile.

 

“KACCHAN!” Deku jack-in-the-box-ed out of the fucking bathroom without any warning whatsoever. The door missed Katsuki’s nose by a frick . Not that he cared. Katsuki was so effing alarmed that he caught the flying fucker in his arms like he would a god damn package . But the nerd didn’t care either. Deku’s fingers immediately grabbed Katsuki by the front of his shirt, shaking him as he did. In mid-air. How that was possible, Katsuki didn’t really care right now. He was more concerned with how he staggered back and forth, trying to regain his footing as Deku tried to pilot him or some shit.

 

Those wide green maniacal eyes would’ve scared the hell out of anyone who wasn’t Katsuki.

 

“DEKU!” Katsuki hollered as a warning.

 

“KAAAACCHAAAAAN!” Deku responded like a fricken fire siren.

 

Oh, god, the fanboy was out of the bag.

 

Katsuki’s feet got tangled with each other, which made him totally lose his balance. He fell on the floor bottom first—”Ow!”—with Deku still in his arms, one large hand on his green head just to be sure. The nerd landed face first into Katsuki’s chest.

 

“What in the sweet fuck is wrong with you!?” Katsuki glared, flexing his fingers in an attempt to keep himself from hitting this piece of shit.

 

“It is luminous!” Deku looked up excitedly, ignoring Katsuki’s angry features in favor of reporting the god damn fuckin’ obvious. And then the nerd pulled back, gesturing to the X print on the large shirt he was wearing as he sat between Katsuki’s folded knees. “This! This! All of this X thing! It is luminous!”

 

“I know .” Katsuki kept glaring as he leaned back on his palms. “I was the one who told you , bitch.”

 

Deku exhaled, pursed his lips, furrowed his eyebrows. It was almost like he didn’t know how to express all this coolness. But Katsuki let him. This wasn’t the kind of excitement he’d like to shut down.

 

“B-b-b-but…” Deku’s expression slowly changed as he mumbled, rubbing his chin like he was talking to himself. It was distracting how he seemed to be looking heatedly at Katsuki’s crotch. Like sure , Deku wasn’t actually looking at Katsuki’s dick, but his eyes were gawking at that direction so… Well… This would’ve been a bit more erotic if Deku didn’t stare like he was plotting to unscrew Katsuki’s dick from between his legs.

 

“I don’t understand.” Were the first audible words from the nerd after his muttering session. “The Ground Zero shirts that came out with this design were all plain and—”

 

“It was a bit costly to mass produce at the time.” Katsuki said casually as he scratched his head, looking back at the living room to glance at their meal. “It was my first batch of merchandise so I didn’t think it would be practical.” He looked back at Deku. “I wanted to make it affordable so I just—”

 

“Wait, wait, wait, stop !” Deku waved his hands in the air like an air traffic guide. “Hold on a second!”

 

Katsuki raised an eyebrow.

 

“So you’re saying…” Deku gestured with splayed fingers running up and down across the front of his shirt and Katsuki’s brain went oh-lala in the most inappropriate fucking time like Jesus Christ , what the fuck, hippocampus!?

 

“This… This design…” Deku continued. “It was supposed to have luminous print but it would’ve been costly at the time so it got cancelled? The luminous Ground Zero shirts didn’t, no, they never made it to the shelves?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Deku took a deep breath and then swallowed hard. He sat there for a few good seconds and Katsuki started to get up but the nerd grabbed him by the shirt to make him sit back down.

 

What was going on…?

 

“So you mean…” Deku began, half in a daze before he took another breath and licked his lips as he looked up from where he was sitting.

 

Fuckin’ hot.

 

“You mean this prototype I’m wearing…“ He paused again, opening his mouth and closing it like he was some fish who was trying to human .

 

“...No one else has this version of this shirt?”

 

Katsuki was confused , but he assumed that it was the normal and expected reaction to Deku’s cute little peculiarities. Otherwise, he’d have fallen out of love years ago.

 

“Yeah. That’s pretty much it.”

 

Deku made a strangled wheezing sound before going completely still and silent, almost like he had stopped functioning. He leaned forward rigidly, forehead meeting Katsuki’s collar bone.

 

“Kacchan,” The nerd whispered, his body still stiff. “I’m wearing super ultra rare Ground Zero merch and I cannot even right now.”

 

It felt weird hearing Deku constantly refer to him as Ground Zero . He was always Kacchan even at HQ. It was rarely Ground Zero from him and everyone had just gotten tired of correcting Deku every so often. Even Todoroki. Even Iida. Even god damn Endeavor .

 

The nickname became some kind of joke in the building at a certain point.

 

The entire thing was started by some of their UA classmates. And by some, he meant four people—Ashido, Sero, Kaminari, and Uraraka—probably because they had a death wish or something. Their fiddly little protozoan brains became bored of it in two or three days, which was no big deal. Except the entire building felt encouraged . Everyone who thought they had balls called him Kacchan . He didn’t like that. That name wasn’t a joke. And neither was it theirs to use to call him.

 

It only took a few wordless murderous glares before the memo got around.

 

No one but Deku ever tried to call him Kacchan as a joke again.

 

“This is sacrilege.” Deku sounded like he was close to sobbing. “I can’t believe you.”

 

“What?” Katsuki raised an eyebrow. “What did I do? I lent you clothes. If you wanted to be naked, you should’ve—”

 

“Th-th-th-that is not what I meant!” Deku complained with a rather cute blush as he rapidly Katsuki’s chest with his fists in embarrassment. “Pervert! You perverted Kacchan! Pervert!”

 

Katsuki rolled his eyes away.

 

“Says the dude with porn on his phone.”

 

Deku drew a very sharp and offended gasp.

 

“You said you weren’t going to make fun of—”

 

“You called me a pervert.”

 

“Would you prefer uncultured swine ?” The green freckled mammal tilted his head sarcastically with as much sass as he could muster. “Because why did you open the packaging? Rare merch is best in mint and sealed condition! Mint and sealed!”

 

Katsuki had no idea what the nerd was saying. And maybe that showed on his face because Deku just launched in a tirade about collector’s value. Apparently, sealed merchandise was more valuable than opened ones because reasons . Katsuki didn’t bother to ask. He just assumed that even merchandise didn’t like to be exposed to the cold and harsh world of human fuckwittiness. Collectors liked their merchandise to be virgins of some sort.

 

You like virgins? I’m a virgin. Katsuki thought. He immediately labeled his brain a fucking traitor right after that. Five fucking years of abstinence was getting to him. And god damn it, too.

 

“I mean, just to give you some perspective.” Deku was saying now and Katsuki had ten fingers too many to demonstrate the number of fucks he gave.  “I’m willing to bet that Smackbang would kill for this merch.”

 

“For god’s sake, Deku.” Katsuki ran a hand down his face frustratedly. “It’s not rare merch. It never made it to the—”

 

“Exactly!” Deku poked heavily at Katsuki’s chest. “That is exactly what makes it super ultra rare !”

 

“It’s still not merch, De—”

 

“It still counts as Ground Zero merch, god damn it!” Deku screamed at his face while chopping him in the midsection—”Ow! You shit…!”—and what the actual fuck was this violence that was happening right now!? Katsuki wanted to sue him just for that!

 

“Stop ruining this for me!” The green blob of fanboy panic hissed as he channeled the damn greenest Satan impression he could.

 

“What the actual fuck !?” Katsuki motioned to grab him but thought better of it, raising his hands in surrender. He got up and marched back to the living room. “Fine! Okay! Whatever! It’s whatever the fuck you wanna call it!”

 

“Super ultra rare merch!” Deku insisted as he followed suit with a stomp of his foot. It was like Katsuki had to say the word lest the fucking apocalypse was going to descend upon them all.

 

“Fine! Super ultra fuckin rare-ass merch! ” Katsuki groaned again and plopped himself in front of the living room table to continue his meal. And then he flicked his pissed off eyes at Deku and went, “Happy!?”

 

That seemed to be good enough for the nerd because his response was to nod vigorously with a wide smile on his cute little face and grrrrgh! This adorable fucker! Damn it, Katsuki could feel his face heating up, making his irritation evaporate.

 

“Now can you get your nerdy ass back here so we can finish having dinner?!”


“Yes!” Deku nodded again and trotted towards the spot next to Katsuki. The blonde man took a deep breath for patience because this whole fanboying thing was going to—”Kacchan…?”

 

Katsuki looked up to say “what now, you fucking kiwi” but Deku was suddenly hugging him. And very gently, too.

 

Wha—? Why was he so touchy-feely? How many times had this nerd hugged him today? But it wasn’t like he hated it. Saying that Katsuki didn’t like getting hugged was a lie, though. Katsuki enjoyed Deku’s proximity, especially if it was the nerd who initiated.

 

“Thank you for letting me wear this…!” Deku squeezed and awwww, fuck . Katsuki was pretty sure his effing brain was melting and leaking out of his goddamn ears. Why did this green bean have to be so cute? It depleted Katsuki’s anger reserves, god damn it. He had a reputation to uphold. This freckled hamster was ruining it.

 

“Do you…” Katsuki mumbled awkwardly, looking away to keep himself from nosing against the shell of Deku’s ear. “Do you want it?”

 

“Eh?” Deku tensed.

 

“If you want the shirt,” Katsuki said lowly, trying to ignore the smell of his own shampoo on Deku’s hair. “You can have it.”

 

A pause. It was probably a second but it felt like half a day. Katsuki was pretty sure he had accidentally flipped a Deku switch without knowing it.

 

“Deku?” Katsuki asked, wondering if nerds had to reboot or some shit.

 

“Kacchan…” Deku mumbled as he pulled away slowly and seriously. “Don’t you fucking play with my heart like that.”

Huh?

 

Okay, wait, what ? Just what ? Did a soap opera version of Deku ever exist? Who was this? What the hell was he saying so dramatically all of a sudden?

 

The fuck ?” Katsuki grimaced, his head darting back in disbelief. “I’m just saying that if you want it so much then be my fucking guest.” Katsuki shrugged. “Wipe your ass with it or whatever. I don’t care . You can take the shorts, too if—”

 

“Holy bejeezus, the shorts !” Deku fidgeted as he lifted his shirt to reveal the shorts underneath. And his abs. And just a peek of his nipples and holy fucking absolute kelp shit . This guy . This fucking guy . Katsuki was well going to lose his damn mind at some point. Didn’t this idiot know how he looked like he was inviting Katsuki into his crotch!?

 

“Y-you know, I don’t think I’ve seen Ground Zero tennis shorts on sale. Ever .” Deku blinked down at his clothes before taking a deep breath and stammering while lifting his eyes towards Katsuki. “K-K-K-Kacchan… D-d-d-d-don’t tell me these are also...”

 

“Prototypes?” Katsuki interrupted with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah. What happened was—”

 

Whatever the end of that sentence was didn’t matter with how Deku wheezed like he was trying to induce god damn asthma .

 

Moreover, can this idiot just please put his fucking shirt down?!

 

This shity nerd wanted to die. Of getting fucked . Katsuki had been in abstinence for five god-forsaken years. If this idiot broke the fucking seal on Katsuki’s dick right now, he was going to be lobotomized via multiple orgasms and shots to his prostate.

 

“C-c-c-c-c-can I really have these?” The nerd asked almost tearfully. “Can I?”

 

“Yes. I just said so, didn’t I?”

 

“Are you serious ?” Deku finally let go of the shirt so that it fell to cover most of his body again, reverting back to looking like he had nothing under that large piece of clothing. Like Winnie the fucking Pooh—One shirt. Nothing underneath.

 

“This is valuable , Kacchan.” Deku said again, very determinedly. “Are you sure you want me to have this?”

 

“Fucking yes .” Katsuki sighed heavily.

 

“No backsies?” Like a warning.

 

“What are you, five ?”

 

“No backsies!?” Deku insisted, squeezing Katsuki by the thigh. The blonde man yelped in surprise and swatted that hand away.

 

“Yes, no backsies, god damn it! Geez!”

 

Deku took a deep breath, hands balling excitedly into fists as a very wide smile made his cheeks puff and his eyes squint and god damn , Katsuki couldn’t believe he was so fucking in love with this absolute nerdy fool .

 

Bitch, I wish you wanted me as much as you want that fucking shirt.

 

It said a lot about Katsuki’s love life if he was envious of an article of clothing.

 

“Thank you, Kacchan!” Deku flung his arms around Katsuki for how many times today now. “I love them!”

 

I love you, too. Katsuki bit the inside of his cheek to keep him from saying anything without thinking.

 

“Yeah, whatever.” Katsuki tried to sound unaffected as he looked at the corner of the table to distract himself. “You can keep the underwear, too, if you want.”

 

Deku immediately detached himself off of the blonde who was running mental images of what said underwear could be looking like on Deku’s ass right now.

 

“Eh?”

 

The nerd sounded like he was about to malfunction again.

 

“EH!?”

 

And then he started bunching up his shirt under his chin and, oh fuck . Oh, no. Oh, hell , no!

 

“EEEEEEEEEEEH!?”

 

Katsuki was literally so distracted by Deku’s exposed nipples that he was a second too late from stopping the stupid kelp from his next course of action. The ridiculously oblivious Deku grabbed the waistband of his drawstring shorts and tugged it forward so he could look at the underwear he was wearing.

 

In front of Katsuki.

 

Five years. Five years of practicing god damn restraint was being tested by this absolute fuckwit of a grass patch!

 

“O-oi!”

 

Katsuki motioned to punch Deku’s thigh just to prove a fricken point.

 

“Don’t look at it now , you leaf brain!”

 

Satan was probably bored because it was so definitely out of character for Bakugou Katsuki to miscalculate or be inaccurate when throwing punches.

 

All it took was for Deku to make one little shift from how he was seated before Katsuki’s fist shot straight towards whatever poor thing was between Deku’s legs.

 

...A.K.A. his dick .

 

Good fucking job, Katsuki!

 

The flames of hell roared in glee and even the angels cackled in heaven as the faeries doubled over in their tea parties because holy boom boom fuckin’ pow ! Way to go punching his crush right in the fricken nuts! All those times he thought of touching Deku there , he didn’t mean like this !

 

Deku made a small pained noise, which Katsuki assumed to be the sound of battered sperm. Katsuki’s soul, on the other hand, tried to matryoshka itself into his internal organs while his internal organs started holding hands and to sing Kumbaya. Not that it was going to help.

 

“Oh my fuckin—” Katsuki ran two hands through his hair and gripped the strands tightly because what the fuck . “D-D-D-Deku…! Deku, are you—”

 

okay? Stupid question. The man who had inherited All Might’s Quirk had fallen into the fetal position so he could weep on the floor.

 

“I-I-I mean…!” Katsuki was frantically trying to figure out a way to fix this. “I mean, I’m sorry…!”

 

“D’ja haft’it meeeh?” Deku sounded like a tiny, tiny person with vocal chord problems.

 

“N-n-n-n-no, I didn’t mean it…! I just…” Katsuki was doing weird side-to-side movements, hands raised like he wanted to touch except what if Deku’s dick broke from the slightest pressure from the atmosphere?

 

What was even Katsuki going to put on his mouth when—WHY WAS HIS BRAIN DOING THIS!?

 

“I-I-It was an accident…! I’m sorry…!”

 

Deku only whined.

 

Katsuki had spent so many years studying to be a Hero in UA and the Alliance had made them attend countless yearly seminars. How come none of his supposedly useful experiences had anything to teach about penis first aid?! Did they just assume it wouldn’t happen? Because it did ! So just how the fuck was Katsuki supposed to fix this? Rub it gently? Kiss it to make it better? Blow on it? What !?

 

“Y-you, um, want ice on that or something?”

 

Deku fucking hissed .

 

“Okay. All right. Fine.” Katsuki backed a bit, holding his tongue from instinctively unleashing a scathing comeback because he was the one in the wrong here. “I’m sorry. I was just asking.”

 

Deku went back to curling and whining probably because that was the only thing he was capable of now. Poor thing. Katsuki sighed.

 

“So how do you want to get even with me?” The blonde scratched his head. “I mean, if you’d like to punch me in the balls, too, I’d—”


“Dorms.” Deku glared at him, eyes glistening, lower lip sticking out as he frowned from the floor.

 

“What?” Katsuki raised an eyebrow. “Porn?”


“I said dorms !” Deku said blushing, wiping the tears as he tried to punch Katsuki’s knee. “Perverted Kacchan! Pervert! Pervert!”

 

“Well, the fuck do you even mean by dorms , man!?”

 

“If you’re really sorry,” Deku grumbled with a pout. “Make it up to me by staying in the UA dorms with me!”

Chapter Text

Katsuki said no .

 

Even after Deku explained the dorms’ advantages, how it would make both working and communicating convenient while improving their chemistry as a duo by getting them better used to each other, Katsuki still said no. He gave no explanation, reason or excuse. Just no .

 

Surprisingly, Deku didn’t press.

 

Strange. Katsuki was expecting him to ask why or to insist because he got punched in the fucking dick , after all. He had every leverage and reason to protest or demand an explanation. For a moment there, Katsuki was a hundred percent sure he would dispute. Deku opened his mouth to reason and Katsuki was more than just fucking ready to shut him down except he stopped and didn’t push.

 

Again. Strange .

 

But that wasn’t even what got to Katsuki. It was actually the how the look in Deku eyes changed from “I’m going to do this” to “I don’t want to say okay but okay”. The nerd pursed his lips contemplatively, taking a deep breath and holding it in like his thoughts were going to burst out in the open if he said anything too soon. And then his eyes fell to the floor in thought, biting his lower lip before sighing, “All right.”

 

Okay, what ?

 

Alarm bells were ringing in Katsuki’s head. What was this? What was going on? Who was this person? Was it happening? Was he backing away? Now , of all times? In Katsuki’s house? The cycle was fucking ending in the middle of a goddamn sleepover? He could feel his heart sinking to his stomach. It was only at that point that Katsuki realized that he may have gotten his hopes up higher than he thought.

 

Ah, he knew this feeling. It was him trying to slowly deal with Deku having to switch his seasons. Katsuki had gone so accustomed to this that his body seemed to have developed its own fucking system to deal with it. So he had stuff like the digestive system, the respiratory system, and the fucking pining system. And who said evolution wasn’t real ?

 

Drama and sarcasm aside, the expression on Deku’s face didn’t look withdrawn at all. Well, okay, yeah, a bit . Like he had pulled back to a certain extent. But it wasn’t as far as Katsuki was used to. He somehow still felt “within reach”, if that made any goddamn sense . Probably not. Nothing made sense anymore. Humans weren’t supposed to have fucking affection cycles to begin with. Like fuck. The omegaverse had mating seasons. It came. It went. And it involved some level of fucking or pills and shots to deal with shit. Sure, nature required it but at least there was a fucking system in place. Katsuki had been in this ridiculous shit cycle for years !

 

And what did more than just even mean !? That could be anything! Best friends? Bros? Plus Ultra Friends? What !? The logical move here was to ask Deku. Talk. Figure it out. But god damn if Katsuki’s heart didn’t want to run away at the thought of Deku saying that “I didn’t mean as lovers”.

 

“God damn it.” Katsuki grumbled as he washed the dishes. Deku had volunteered to do it but Katsuki insisted on doing so himself. And then he whisked the little nerd into the bedroom because being in the same room as him right now would be fucking confusing. Katsuki would be so damn torn between actually having a talk with him in the kitchen or bending him over the counter so they could do unspeakable things. Both of which were unacceptable.

 

Urgh. How could that shirt be so distracting!? It was a mistake letting him wear that. It was a miscalculated risk that Katsuki took and he was paying for it in spades . Deku’s fucking thighs , damn it. But shit, did Katsuki’s merch look damn fine on him. Except the more Katsuki looked at the shitty nerd, the more tossed up his emotions became. He wanted to hold Deku and then whisper sweet nothings in his ear all while Katsuki’s hands roamed up and down the skin under that shirt because nothing made sense, right? Nothing made fucking sense anymore. Katsuki was a shitty pervert and he should be so fucking ashamed except those thighs. Grrgh.


Deku wearing his merch did things to Katsuki. Things ! Many things!

 

In fact, it took a lot of his effing will not to grab the nerd into a hug as soon as a slight look of hurt flashed across his face when Katsuki told him “no”. God damn . How could a man be so goddamn ripped and be stupidly adorable at the same time? It wasn’t fair . Katsuki almost, almost, almost said “Okay, let’s stay in the dorms together. Also, I love you.”


What was it about the dorms that the nerd wanted anyway? He must’ve felt strongly about it if it managed to pop in his head after his balls cheated death from being squished like  fucking prunes.

 

By the time he was done with the dishes, Katsuki still hadn’t figured out an answer to his predicament. Not that he had any time for thinking, though. Perhaps after the sleepover. Tomorrow was their second off day. Katsuki wasn’t sure if Deku would still like to spend time with him for a second day in the row.

 

A man could hope but perhaps a man should not.

 

Katsuki found himself standing in front of his bedroom door for a while.

 

Okay. Deep breaths. Deku was in the space behind this door. Behind this door was Katsuki’s room. Inside Katsuki’s room was his bed —his large bed that could fit two people. It was hitting him only now that he didn’t have a futon and that he had not mentioned it to Deku. At all . What the fuck was Katsuki thinking inviting him to sleep over!?

 

The blonde man took a deep breath, glancing at his living room.

 

Maybe he should sleep on the couch? Out of respect? Or comfort? He did move a lot when he slept, after all. Deku wouldn’t like getting kicked in the brains. He’d had his dick battered already so getting whammed by a fist or a foot in his sleep was just—hold on a second.

 

Was Katsuki actually trying to find excuses not to sleep in the same bed with Deku?

 

Why !?

 

“Ah, fuck it.” Katsuki grumbled almost out of instinct. It was like his brain didn’t want to think about it either. What the hell?

 

There was a small click as Katsuki turned the knob and pushed the door open. He stepped in carefully, trying not to make it look like he was hesitant to enter his own god damn bedroom .

 

“Ah…!” That was the nerd.

 

The mere thought that Deku was on his bed sent Katsuki’s hormones into a frenzy. But actually seeing the nerd on his bed made his entire system shoot erotic gay rainbows .

 

Deku was sitting on the far side of the bed like he knew that it was his side . He wore the blanket around him like a cloak draped over his head as he held one of Katsuki’s pillows in his arms. There was no missing the pretty blush on his cheeks and the surprised look on his face, like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. Any other god damn day, Katsuki would’ve had enough brain cells to be suspicious but the entirety of his mental faculties were being used to generate images of Deku in the same pose—blushing, sitting on the bed, blanket all around him, pillow in his arms… minus the clothes underneath .

 

Katsuki blue screened .

 

Bakugou Katsuki had run into a problem that he couldn’t handle, and now he had to restart because it his brain decided to slap him with an unsolicited fact.

 

Katsuki, you are a goddamn fucking virgin .

 

Not that he wasn’t aware of it or didn’t know what that meant. He did. It was the current repercussions that he wasn’t prepared for.

 

Like wanting to rip his clothes off and run out into the rain to throw himself in front of a fucking bus .


Hoooooooooooly shit.

 

Katsuki legit thought that porn and sex ed would have prepared him for this day. He was wrong . The porn had lied to him . And fanfiction was wrong . He had read about the importance and details of foreplay but no one told him that there was supposed to be some sort of goddamn mental preparation before he could even touch. Or move .

 

How the fuck did fanfiction writers often depict him as a horny sex expert who knew everything about fucking, huh? Deku was here on his bed looking sexy and almost ready to be devoured and Katsuki’s only move was stare .

 

God damn it .

 

God.

 

Fucking.

 

Damn it!

 

“K-Kacchan…?” Deku pulled the blanket back and off his head, sporting a concerned and innocent look on his face before fucking crawling towards the other edge of the bed—towards Katsuki and hoookey-dokey-pokey-penis-WHAT.

 

“Kacchan, are you—”

 

“Shut up.” Katsuki snarled, channeling all of his anger out right now to trump whatever emotion he was having right now. Except it wasn’t working. He was trying to get angry but all his rage seemed to have left the building.

 

Thankfully, the nerd stopped crawling and he sat there meekly, big green eyes looking up at Katsuki as he said, “Play with me, Kacchan.”

 

It echoed in Katsuki’s skull. His dick was kind of hard but whether it was aroused or frozen in fear was still debatable.

 

“Wh-what!?” Katsuki literally took a step back. His brain was telling him to stop, drop, and roll because this was an emergency. He was feeling hot. Therefore, he was on fire. He had to be on fire.

 

“I said , are you angry at me?” Deku repeated, a little louder this time, his concern growing.

 

“O-oh…” Katsuki was fairly sure he had exhaled except it didn’t feel like the air left his lungs at all. The man shook his head and wiped his entire fucking face off with his hand.

 

“No.” He said, trying his best not to accidentally say anything from whatever fanfiction he had previously read. “I’m not angry.”

 

“Are you sure?” Deku tilted his head and bit his lip and oh, god , don’t do that. Katsuki’s dick was going to fucking fall off. “I mean, if the dorm thing pissed you off, I’m really sorry.”

 

“N-no.” Katsuki shook his head again, willing his brain to tell his legs to walk towards somewhere. Too bad his own body was on a fucking mutiny right now.

 

“Kacchan, are you okay?” Deku asked again, genuinely concerned. Katsuki felt like a dick for having a fucking dick . And as if that wasn’t enough, Deku patted the bed and called to him. “Come here?”

 

Oh, god.

 

Oh, holy damn fricken god .

 

Katsuki fought the urge to swallow hard and started towards the bed, praying fervently that he didn’t look like a waddling duck. Deku was still looking at him with concerned eyes but all Katsuki could think of was having those lips around his dick.

 

“God damn it.” Katsuki sighed and sat on the edge of the bed without realizing how he got there.

 

“I-i-i-is…” Deku paused to swallow hard. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

 

Anything? Katsuki’s mind repeated.

 

Could the devil fucking not right now? Stop. Just stop . Deku wasn’t here to be screwed by Katsuki’s inexperienced self. There was so much more to sex than knowing where to stick it into ! Like staying sane enough to remember where to stick it into! What if Katsuki did it wrong and woke up realizing that he had fucked Deku in the damn ear or something?

 

“No, don’t bother.” Katsuki shook his head again. “I’m okay. Just… Tired.”

 

“Don’t bother?” Deku drew closer. “So… So there is something I can do?”

 

Why was the nerd making it so much difficult for Katsuki to just be !? He just wanted to be !

 

“Does shutting up count?” Katsuki did his best to hiss . And that said something because Katsuki didn’t have to actively think of doing his best at anything. He just did .

 

But perhaps those were the wrong choice of words. Deku’s eyes turned from concerned to hurt before nodding meekly and crawling back to his side of the bed and oh god . There was such a thing as “Deku’s side of the bed” now? He was in this room for an hour at most.

 

With another grunt, Katsuki shifted so he could lean on the headboard while outstretching his legs on the bed. Meanwhile, Deku had resorted to lying on his side, wrapped in a blanket like a cocoon. Katsuki eyed his form, taking note of how the blanket fell on his body, wondering how it would feel to snuggle against that . Green hair splayed on the pillow— Katsuki’s pillow . Deku sneezed, startling Katsuki a bit. The nerd made a small sniffing sound before curling into a ball, probably for warmth. The pillow was still in his arms, probably between his legs, too.

 

All Katsuki could think of was “Deku is nesting on my bed” and holy fuck, way to go being inappropriate right now, hippocampus.

 

Shit, shit, shit .

 

Katsuki had to do something to change the mood. This silence was thick and arousing . It was bad. Katsuki was not prepared for this. Sure, he had lube but he didn’t have condoms and wait, no, that wasn’t the issue here! The issue was Deku accidentally getting fucked in the wrong hole and—No, that wasn’t it either. If Katsuki’s brain could just stop thinking about sex for a moment, that would be great.

 

So on to his current predicament. He had to lighten up the mood and he wasn’t really good at that. Deku was. So Deku had to do something. Except spinach baby over here wasn’t really in a very upbeat—Did he just call Deku spinach baby ?!

 

Whatever. The goal here was to lift Deku’s mood. Once Katsuki did that, everything else would fall into place. After all, if the pompom was happy, Katsuki was, too.

 

Also... Pompom !?

 

So the blonde and bothered virgin got up and started towards his cabinets. He was probably going to regret doing this but he didn’t have that many options. Katsuki huffed and stepped into his closet. From one corner, he pulled out one black plastic box after the other, hoping to all heavens and hells that this better work .

 

“Kacchan...?” Deku called from the bed and for some fucking reason, Katsuki could feel phantom fingers touching his body. What the hell!? Betrayed by his own nervous system!

 

“Kacchan…?” Deku tried again when Katsuki didn’t answer.

 

“What?” Katsuki grunted as he got to the third plastic box. He’d opened this about one or two hours ago. He really didn’t think he’d be opening it again in the same night.

 

“W-what are you doing?”

 

The way Deku sounded so guarded was bothering him, pissing him off, and making him feel guilty . And horny . Katsuki was in a damn emotional salad right now!

 

“Kacchan?”

 

“For fuck’s sake, stop saying my name!” Katsuki said loudly as he finally pulled out the plastic box, unlatching the two shorter sides before gesturing for Deku to come over. The nerd blinked and hesitantly crawled towards the end of the bed—RRRGH—before hopping off the mattress—Those god damn thighs —and walking towards Katsuki.

 

Damn, there was no getting over Deku wearing Ground Zero merch.

 

Deku sat on the spot next to Katsuki, quietly eyeing the two other plastic boxes that had been dragged out of the closet. He then turned his gaze towards Katsuki who was trying his darnest not to fricken devolve into a shitty plankton.

 

“Open it.” Katsuki nodded at the box he had unlatched.

 

“What is it?” Deku asked as he gingerly ran his hands on the edges of the lid and ohhhh, god, Katsuki wanted those fingers on—Uuuurrgh.

 

The lid came off.

 

Thankfully, the nerd’s face was enough to distract Katsuki from the infuriating levels his libido was trying to achieve. Deku’s expression changed from mildly curious to surprised to hyperventilating .


The lid clattered as it fell on the floor.

 

“Awhuh—Awah—Wah…!” Deku began, hands flying to cover his mouth like he didn’t know what to do first. He turned to Katsuki, eyes wide and glistening in disbelief. Katsuki shrugged. Deku quickly turned back to the box.

 

“Th-these…!” Deku exclaimed, fingers reaching hesitantly as if he didn’t know if it was okay to touch any of it. “These…!”

 

“Are Ground Zero merch prototypes.” Katsuki said casually as he leaned back because he was cool like that. “A whole box of it.”

 

It was a magic word. Katsuki just said a magic word that immediately toggled a Deku switch. His inner nerd immediately burst, his downcast mood suddenly forgotten in favor of grabbing one of the toys and screaming at it.

 

There’s my Deku.

 

“Oh my god!” The toy that the nerd was unwrapping in his trembling hands was a small, kind of deformed Ground Zero toy. It had a large head in proportion to its body with large eyes, shorter limbs, and a smaller torso. They had a name for this design. What was it again? They called it—

 

“A chibi Ground Zero!” Izuku almost sobbed, running his thumb across the toy’s cheeks and then its body. Katsuki suddenly wanted it to be a fucking voodoo doll.

 

“Oh my god, it’s a chibi Ground Zero with the mask and the gauntlets and all the everything!”

 

All the everything .

 

“Yeah.” Katsuki said as he watched Deku try not to have nervous breakdown. “It’s still in the works for next wave of merch release.”

 

“Wait, hold on.I know this make. I know this line.” Deku mumbled as he studied the small figure, turning it around and trying to move the limbs. Katsuki was unable to hold back a smile. Of course, he would know. Deku kept on gaping at the small toy for a while before slowly turning to his friend , realization and disbelief in his eyes.

 

“This is a Mendoroid prototype.”

 

Katsuki flashed a toothy grin.

 

“It is.”

 

“Y-y-y-you…” Deku stammered, gently placing the toy back in the box like it was some sort of national treasure. He turned slowly towards Katsuki, fingers trembling and flexing. “You have a deal with Mood Smile…?”

 

Katsuki shrugged smugly.

 

And that was the last thing he remembered before Deku was grabbing him and shaking his goddamn brains out.

 

“You have a Mood Smile Mendoroid prototype and you’re keeping it improperly in this fucking crate!?” The nerd screamed, distraught and offended. ”Why!?”

 

Katsuki was more concerned about having motion sickness or his head rolling off his head from being shaken so hard.

 

“What are you talking about!?” Katsuki grabbed Deku by the wrists and pushed himself up. “I kept them in—”

 

Words were difficult to come by as soon as he realized that the damn nerd was straddling him.

 

Breathe. Breathe. Fucking breathe and don’t get ha—his dick twitched. Oh, hell !

 

“Oh, Kacchan , you fool .” Deku sighed dramatically, shaking his head as he cleared off of Katsuki’s lap, thank god .

 

“You poor, poor fool .” The nerd stressed that last word with a breath. And then he gestured with an open palm at the box. “You think this is called keeping ?”

 

Katsuki rolled his eyes away, not even bothering to say anything anymore because he knew what was coming after. The nerd once again launched into a fucking impromptu lecture of the proper care and maintenance of collectibles—prototypes included.

 

While it was okay to keep them in a box, it was not ideal for them to be stored away for prolonged periods of time in a plastic box such as this. There was this thing about temperature and being allowed to breathe and had to be observed and whatever the fuck else and god fucking damn it, he wasn’t going to stop, was he?

“Fine, then! You fix it if you’re so fucking clever!” Katsuki finally said as he crossed his legs and leaned forward. Deku gawked at him like he’d said something remarkable and unbelievable. Katsuki didn’t need the idiot to say another word to know that he had to repeat and clarify what he just said.

 

“Tomorrow’s our second off day.” The blonde man scratched his head heavily. “If you want, you can organize this—”

 

“Yes!” Deku screamed so loudly, Present Mic would’ve shed tears of joy . “Yes, I want! I will! I want!”

 

Katsuki should’ve expected the tackle hug that Deku was going for but he didn’t. He wasn’t used to this yet. His brain was still coming to terms with Deku’s body coming in contact with his, arms around Katsuki’s neck or torso. The nerd giggled happily, scampering on Katsuki’s lap again—What god should Katsuki even pray to now—so he could squeeze the blonde man tighter and that was just… Katsuki was finding it difficult to function. He couldn’t even figure if he was turned on or moved to tears.

 

“Thank you, Kacchan!” Deku squealed, not bothering to clear off of him.

 

“It’s a chore .” Katsuki glared at the foot of the bed to distract himself. He was blushing. He knew. He’d rather not deal with it now. The nerd smelled so good. It was taking a lot for Katsuki not to press his nose for a deep inhale against that creamy neck.

 

“It’s fun .” Deku said as-a-matter-of-fact-ly before crawling off Katsuki’s lap like it was no big deal.

 

Fucker.

 

From there commenced mumbling . A whole damn era of mumbling .

 

Deku pulled out his phone and started talking to himself, listing down things that Katsuki didn’t even bother to figure out any more. He inspected the items one by one, losing his shit in between—”And then this will need a sealable… Oh gooooood, a Ground Zero radar!” “Deku, that’s a fucking pocket watch.” “Holy shit! Even better! Hold me coz I literally cannot .”—like some sort of lunatic with an identity crisis.

 

His eagerness was totally amusing. For instance, he was on the verge of tears when the shiny prototype grenade gauntlet for kids wouldn’t fit in his bulky adult hand. It was also a treat watching him struggle about wanting to open the packaging for the hand towels while worrying about collector’s value. He also found the other sizes for the luminous Ground Zero shirts, which he spazzed over.

 

Katsuki was waiting for Deku to get to the underwear when the nerd found a Ground Zero mask and ooooohhh, no. No. Katsuki immediately snatched  it away from Deku’s hands. It looked like a blindfold. Like hell Katsuki was letting Deku accidentally tease him like this.

 

Besides, being deprived of a mask wasn’t a big deal. There were still keychains, notebooks, notepads, button pins, face masks, handkerchiefs, and a hand towel among other things. Deku literally screamed—”ALL THE ADORKADORBS!!” “THE WHAT!?”—at the Ground Zero socks because “Ground Zero sooooooooooocks!” Whatever the hell that meant, Katsuki was pretty sure it would make no sense to even try to understand anymore. That was why he was also quite sure that he should get himself checked for what he said next.

 

“Put ‘em on.”

 

Katsuki could tell the exact time that his dignity just up and went, “Bye, bitch!”

 

What, did he have a foot fetish now?! Because his brain was legit feeding him images of Katsuki putting socks on Deku’s feet. Where the hell did that come from!?

 

“W-w-w-w-w-what are you saying!?” Deku pulled his knees up towards his chest, toes curled. “I… I can’t possibly…! That’ll…! That would…!”

 

“Decrease the collector’s value, yes, you told me. ” Katsuki nodded sarcastically and Deku responded with his own nod as if Katsuki needed any confirmation that this entire conversation was ridiculous. So in an effort to reset himself, Katsuki stood up to get water from the kitchen and left Deku to his box of happy things.

 

Even the cold refrigerator air that hit Katsuki’s face felt like it was trying to reprimand him. He poured a glass for himself and drank . And then he poured another. And then another.

 

God, he needed to get his shit together. ‘Til this day, he was fairly sure he could handle being alone with Deku like this. He had five years of practice. Throughout those years, Deku had been a little more than just tempting. And Katsuki managed to stay sane and functioning when it