OMEAGLE: Talk to strangers!
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You both like SPACE.
You: im gonna b honest im lonely n horny I only wanna talk abt dicks man
Stranger: wow I was here for Space but
You: okay sorry you can say one thing about space
You: but just tell me – m or f?
Stranger: m bro
You: please don’t say bro
You: this is very homo
Stranger: well you know there’s a black hole in a galaxy about 12 billons times the size of our sun
Stranger: not relevant but I thought I’d shed light on how pitifully small your homosocial plight is
You: wow ok
You: I only really wanna ask
Stranger: yes, I am an adult male, I am highly educated, I put space as my interest because I am genuinely interested. Wow, thanks. Maybe I don’t want to hear about you jacking off. You’re probably some greasy old man.
You: I’m 23
Stranger: oh ok sorry
Stranger: but space tho
You: look, we can talk about space, ok? Just give me something to work with here
Stranger: wow look at me im a horny student whoa
You: ok, just how big r u?
Stranger: do u want me to like, get a ruler?
Stranger: bc one sec
You: no oh my god just fucking estimate
Stranger: well the last subway footlong I ate was significantly more impressive so u can get rid of any of that fantasy
Stranger: I reckon about 3 of the little grid pattern box things on the solar panel
You: i hate that I understand that
Stranger: dude no way
Stranger: that's amazing
You: thanks I did an entire project on solar panels last semester
Stranger: did you have to do that dumbass experiment where they power the generator based on different wavelengths of light?
Stranger: I was so ready to throw myself off the observation deck oh my god
You: stop im so triggered im not even hard anymoe
Stranger: good now we can talk about space
You: ok fine
Stranger: do u know how fast neutron stars spin per second?
You: approximately 600 rotations
Stranger: I was gonna show off how smart I was but fuck man that was really cool
You: ultimate question is do you believe in Planet 9
Stranger: id die for planet 9
You: what did I even expect
Stranger: bring justice to the Kuiper Belt
You: ok but a moment of silence for the bullshit of Van Allen Belts
You: there are things I wanted to calculate in school and then there’s THAT
Stranger: Van Allen was a chill guy don't shit on his belts man
Stranger: they tell us about space storms
Stranger: SPACE STORMS
You: okay fine space storms whoo next time try and make that sound cool when you have 3 hour exam about them
Stranger: okay okay but really
Stranger: what do u call mars
You: I call it mars man what the fuck
Stranger: but mars is a smell boy
You: I came here to jack off but know I just wanna commit
Stranger: did u not study methane on mars
You: of course I studied methane on mars
Stranger: a smelly boy
You: oh my god
You: you are the exact person to be like this its rly on me for not realising
Stranger: thanks man
Stranger: how’s ur dick
You: don't bring up my dick
Stranger: ur probably watching porn on the background so u can multitask this epic chat with jacking off aren’t u
Stranger: bc I know the feel
You: im not even embarrassed at this stage
Stranger: good bc I wanted to keep talking about space stuff
You: okay whats ur opinion
You: is the milky way spiral or bar galaxy
Stranger: spiral is more aesthetic but bar more reasonable logically
Stranger: oh shit I gotta go
Stranger: have fun jacking off stranger it was fun talking about space
You: thanks man