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Oh, Baby!

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They say the first three years of marriage is the honeymoon phase. This is misleading in some cases. While there had been plenty of moon, the years hadn’t been so sweet for the private defense lawyer and her ex-doctor.

    It turned out that they had amazing chemistry served to cover up the way they fought like a couple of cats. Sometimes it was little things, other times it was bigger things like differences in beliefs.

    But somehow they had made fighting, erratic hours, hot tempers, and long loving work.

    It was one of their rare weekends when they didn’t have to worry about being suddenly called away. Zandra was playing with the wrinkles around her eyes. She was trying to convince herself it was long hours squinting at a computer screen, but she had a new prescription for that. It helped the headaches, and eye strain but the little crow’s feet remained. Even that overpriced eye cream of her wife’s hadn’t helped.

    Then there was the streak of “moonlight,” as Zareen put it, in her hair. It was cute, and honestly, she didn’t have many vanities, but deep down it was causing some despair.

    “Oh nurse! I’m ready to operate!”

    “Go ahead and start without me!”

    “Damn it nurse! You know it’s against protocol!

“What are you doing in here?”

A blonde head with a floppy head mirror popped into the bathroom door.

“Why are you still wearing a shirt?”

“Where are your pants?”

“I can’t be Doctor Pantless with pants on. And for that manner you can’t be Nurse Topless with a top on!”

“Baby, I’m just not in the mood right now. Go play without me.”

“But the patient is going to die!”

“What patient?”

“I bought a blow up doll.”

“You what?!” Poking her head into a master bedroom she saw the comical blow up doll with a scribbled on piece of paper taped over the face. “What’s that’s paper?”

“That’s your O face. So I can always be inspired to greatness. Also you won’t let me use the camera.”

“Sweetie, we can’t use the camera because it would be evidence of how criminal loving you is.”

“E-yowza! Let’s play bad lawyer/bad doctor!”

“No thanks.”

“But who will put the glove on my dick?!”

“You’re not wearing it!”

“No, but now I want to play with it. Floppy hand dick.”

“Ugh!” Zandra slapped her forehead. “Do whatever you want. I think I need out of the house.”

“You wanna go on a drive?”

“Yeah, I just need to change.”

“Into the stilettos?”

“I will never wear those things!”

“But they make your legs look hotter!”

Zandra dug out something comfortable and removed her faux nurse’s uniform. “That’s half the problem! The other half is I fall on my face!”

“But you have a delightful bottom,”pouted the blonde, who had slipped a latex glove on a strap on dildo and was sadly batting it around.

“And I’m fond of not having broken-” she had spotted Zareen playing with her new toy. “What are you doing?”

“Floppy hand dick. Wanna shake hands?” She thrust her hips forward.

“No. And don’t point that thing at me.”

“But it likes you!”

“No. Just no. Are you coming or not?”

“I wanted to, but then you changed your mind,” muttered the doctor as she undressed.

“And here I thought med school had scared you off of sex.”

“Just anonymous sex, now I have a wife I do nightly without worry!”

“The true meaning of marriage.” Rolling her eyes she checked her purse while waiting for her wife to finish dressing.

There was a little artisan town three hours up the interstate. It was one of their favorite places to escape the stress of the city and wander through the little stores and marvel at the details crafted into each work.

In a pottery shop that specialized in lesbian art Zandra found herself staring out the window at a couple. The toddler was crying over something. The baby was snoring away in it’s carriage, and the parents were trying to make sense of their child’s distress.

“Why are you staring at that dildo?”


There was a statue of two women entwined, so they formed a phallic shape.

“No. Did you say you wanted some new scrubs for the hospital?”

“Yeah, I want Queen Belle ones for when I have older siblings to deal with. They’re so cute. Confused, but well meaning.”

“Yeah,” the lawyer sighed wistfully.

“Hey, what’s gottin’ into you? You sound like the virgin heroine of a smut novel. Which I could totally roll with. I think there’s an abandoned park around here somewhere.”



“I want a baby.”

“A baby? I don’t know. We’ve had a lot of unprotected sex and you haven’t conceived yet.”

Her face and neck went red. “Oh Reenie!” She stormed out of the store and down the dirt road. Zandra chased after her.

“What’d I do?! What’d I do?!”

“It’s not a joking manner!” Whipping around there were tears threatening to fall from her aqua eyes. “I knew when I married you I have having to give up a lot of things. I miss having a big family, but we can’t have one. God! We went to four bakeries before we could find one that would even talk to us! Four! Just because we love each other! It’s ridiculous!”

“And then I wrote those reviews and they were cyber harassed so bad they issued a formal apology! So?”

“I want a child to call my own! Someone with my father’s nose, my wit, your hair! I want-!” the tears finally fell, “I want someone who will love me when you’re gone. Someone I can give all my love to! I want to see you holding our baby!”

“Wow. I didn’t think about it like that. Our baby. A mini you. Let’s do it! Let’s get you a baby!”


“Of course!” They wrapped each other up in their arms. “Plus the pregnancy will make your boobs look amazing.”

Zareen was punched lightly in her back. They decided to grab lunch and discuss the dirty details.