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One night at da club koujack and his koujacrew were hanging and getting the drunk and shit. He lay slumped over the table, drowning in alcohol because the aoba was dating other ppl and he was all sad because he began to feel oddly jealous about 2 weeks ago but didn’t know why and then one day beni was all like “r u fucking stupid u obviously have the dokis for him” and that was painful so when the random guy with the gray hair who likes dogs proposed a benishigure drinking night he said “sure let’s get the drunk”. And now images of perfect aoba and the thought of his cotton candy pubes danced in his mind.

       “beni I want aoba,” he whined, being a little bitch. “or at least cut off his mullet.”

       Beni stood up but I guess he was already standing idk he’s a bird. “what r u waiting for? If u want the aoba u get that aoba.”

       “but bruh,” he slurred. “the bae”

       “eliminate him,” beni urged.

       “no beni,” koujaku refused “it will only drive me into a deeper pit of angst than I’m already in.”

       “why not have an orgy then?” the idea was practically sent down from heaven. Koujack sat up straight, blood rushing to his mind. Yes. An orgy. With clear, noiz, mink, ren, the entirety of benishigure, mizuki, the not-twins, and everyone else maybe toue maybe even fuckin ryuuhou he didn’t care he was just inspired.

       “beni holy fuck” he announced. He dropped the alcohol and turned to the gang. “guize I have a cool idea it was so great my bird had to think of it.”

       “what is it koujackoff?”

       “we r going to have an orgy. With aoba.”

       “WHOAAAA!” evry1 thought it was great idea. The cotton candy pubes were going to be his and the other bf runner-ups were fine pieces of ass as well. He couldn’t wait to try out his fiery dick on them.

       “okay but first we need aoba’s consent.” He pulled out his coil despite the fact that I seriously doubt he even has one like where is it is it the bead thing on his glove idk aoba’s is like a watch but they’ve mentioned it so yeah he began to call aoba on his half-existent coil.

       “koujack wtf this isn’t a good time I’m fucking the dog rite now.”

       “ayy u up for an orgy?” he waited nervously for a response as his heart doki’d. his breathing grew heavy but fortunately aobama responded.

       “wit who?”

       “u know, the usual: the guy with genital piercings, the robot, the tough-ass prisoner with a muthafuckin rainbow gang, the entirety of benishigure, mizuki, maybe toue idk just don’t tell tae” there was a pause. Oh shit he thought I really fucked things up.

       “ayyyy.” Koujaku sighed in relief. Then he spoke again.

       “hey aoba what’s cooler than being cool?”

       “ice cold”


       “aoba shut the fuck up” ren said on the line completely out of character. Koujaku smiled and shut the fuck up, as did aoba.

       “gr9 see u l8r” koujack said switching to text lingo b/c he is cool and hip.

       “hella fuckin rad”

       “hella fuckin rad”. The coil made a blip sound and whoa they were disconnected and shit. Koujaku raised a fist in the air and the benishigure members did as well.

       “DICKSQUAD, ASSEMBLE!” they rushed out of the building and prepared to fuck shit up. Helllll yeahhhhhhhhh.