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I Will Never Grow Old

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            Gackt knew that one day he would become a vampire. He'd known it for a long time, ever since he realised he and his vampire lover You were destined to be together. He knew You would change him but the time never seemed to be right and now he was hurtling towards forty and getting scared of his own age. He'd complained to You a few times but the other was reluctant and too scared to do anything about it. He'd never changed a human before and though he knew how to do it, he was so worried things would go wrong. To make matters worse, Chachamaru knew everything and was disgusted with Gackt for even wanting to become a vampire. He made no effort to hide his disapproval, though was at least civil to You. It was a tricky situation for Gackt, as he wouldn't give up his good friend or his lover but thankfully the three men had found a routine that worked and so life carried on. Day by day passed and Gackt grew older and more worried about his gradually fading looks. If he was to be beautiful forever, he wanted to look young and beautiful but for how much longer could he live and still be able to pass as a young man?

            Even now as he stared into the mirror, he could see another faint line around his eyes and he knew he didn't have much time left. Something had to be done and soon, within the next few years. He wasn't becoming 40, he'd rather die, which was exactly what he was asking.

            “You, when are you making me a vampire?” Gackt asked as he turned to face his lover, who had just appeared at the top of the stairs that led to the basement. The sun had set roughly thirty seconds ago and You looked tired, hungry and more than a little annoyed to be questioned like this the second he had got up.

            “How about never,” You muttered uncharitably, as he approached Gackt with hungry eyes. “What if I just drain you dry right now, for asking such irritating questions? What's the matter, got another winkle?”

            “Yes!” Gackt complained. “And you know I'm laying down an ultimatum. You have between now and a week before my fortieth birthday to change me, or I’ll find another vampire who will. I'll be their loyal lover, slave, pet I don't care. I am not becoming forty.” 

            “So, I get two years of peace now?” You asked. “You don't ask me again.”

            “You, I want to be a vampire now!” Gackt complained. “I've been by your side so many years, I know that you're scared but one day, sooner or later, I will be a vampire. It's not that I want to die, I just want to be yours.”

            “Say I change you, make you like me and Chachamaru hated you as much as he hates me?” You asked.

            “Cha wouldn't hate me, and he doesn't hate you.” Gackt replied but You wasn't listening any more. He wasn't about to have the same conversation again, not now when he was hungry. Perhaps biting Gackt would shut him up? It often did and so eagerly You dug his fangs deep into Gackt's neck and began to drink, drowning out the sound of Gackt's voice as he continued to explain all the perks to becoming a vampire tonight. Such an idiot, he didn't realise that right now You was enjoying the best perk of Gackt being human.

 

            “Something wrong?” Chachamaru asked the next day, as Gackt appeared and sat beside him looking fed up. Yet another argument with the vampire then, Cha just couldn't understand why Gackt put up with it. He was a handsome man with a great personality to go with it, he could get any man he choose yet he had picked a vampire? A vampire that wasn't even making him that happy, at least Chachamaru couldn't see You making Gackt happy. No, his friend was better off with another human, best with him. He'd make Gackt happy, he wouldn't use him for his convenience. He'd worship Gackt, respect him, love him. They could be so happy together, yet Gackt refused to even think about the idea, no matter how depressed he was.

            “I'm almost forty.” Gackt announced and Cha understood, they'd had that argument again, the one where You wouldn't keep his lover young forever. No commitment, that was his problem, yet another reason Chachamaru believed that they weren't truly in love.

            “I'm over fifty,” Chachamaru pointed out. “You still think I have a sexy ass, I’ve seen you looking.”

            “I won't be forty,” Gackt informed Chachamaru. “I just won't. Not when he'll be young forever.”

            “So what are you going to do about it?” Chachamaru asked. “If he won't listen to you?”

            “I have to change tactics, make him realise what he'd miss out on.” Gackt declared, surprising his friend when he pinned the other to the sofa beneath him. Words were whispered into Chachamaru's ear and the older man stared up in surprise, considering Gackt's suggestion before grinning. He could do this, though he knew he'd be sleeping with a stake in his bed that night, just in case.

            Eagerly the two friends kissed and groped each other, pulling away clothing as fast as they could. Sex wasn't romantic, wasn't anything to be bragged about. It was fast and rough and necessary. Just two men working off their frustration with each other and enjoying every minute.

 

            You awoke that night to an empty house and sighed, he'd have to go hunting then but he'd fed from Gackt yesterday so perhaps he would have done so anyway? He was just lonely without his lover, though the break from Gackt's mithering was good. Perhaps Gackt was preparing a surprise to get back in his good books? Seduce him into giving in. Well he could try and one day he would succeed but the idiot had only gone and told him he had a couple of years left before he'd take up desperate measures. Plenty of time for You to ignore the inevitable.

            You got washed and dressed and went out to hunt, praying Gackt would be there when he returned. He knew they'd been arguing a lot lately but it wasn't like Gackt to avoid him. Perhaps his lover had just got delayed in traffic or something?

            “Gackt?” You called into the house, pleased to hear the sounds of breathing from the lounge.

            “In here.” Gackt called back and You headed towards him with a smile that faded as he smelt a familiar scent coming from his lover. Chachamaru and sex? No that couldn't be right, perhaps Gackt had just indulged in some self-pleasure?

            “I missed you.” You commented, as he approached Gackt and bent over to kiss him, freezing as the scent came stronger. Semen had been on Gackt's chest and it wasn't his own! Anger flared up and before he knew it You had slapped Gackt with all his power, sending his lover down onto the floor with the force. “You slut! You whore!” He screamed at Gackt, who didn't have the decency to look guilty, only smug. Well he'd rip that smile straight from his face and so with extended fangs he yanked Gackt to his feet and ripped Gackt's lower lip, causing the other to cry out but not as much as he should have. Furious You found himself drinking from his lover without thought. His anger clouding his senses so he didn't even notice Gackt hadn't fought back, until it was too late and his lover was struggling to stay conscious.

            “You're laughing?” You asked, confused by his lover’s attitude.

            “I'm dying,” Gackt gloated. “I knew you'd know. I knew you'd lose it. It was the only way.”

            “Gackt?” You asked stunned. “You used Chachamaru to make me mad?”

            “Not used, he knew what I had planned,” Gackt reassured him. “But yes. I knew you'd only hurt me if I made you really angry. It had to be done.”

            “But Gackt...” You complained but his lover had fainted and could no longer answer. Alarmed You fed Gackt his own blood, feeling guilty about what he had done but still finding it within himself to blame Gackt. His lover had tricked him, cheated on him, and abused his trust. He was still mad but he knew he'd over reacted. He'd almost killed the man he claimed to love. Why hadn't he listened when Gackt complained he was getting old? Why hadn't he done something about it sooner? It wasn't like Gackt had been like this all their relationship. They'd been together for over a decade happily before Gackt had begun to worry and why shouldn't he worry? He was already eight years older than You had been when he died. He was getting older at an alarming wait. Or was, he was never going to age again, forever the same, if things turned out alright. If they went wrong then Gackt would rot away into nothing and You wouldn't know how he would cope with that.

 

            Gackt was dreaming that he was drowning in a sea of blood beneath a starless night sky. He could see as clear as day but there was nothing to see but red and black, nothing else. He wanted to awaken but it wasn't time, not yet and so he drifted, though still nothing happened.

            Hours, or seconds passed, it was hard to tell here, and finally things changed. The end of the world appeared before him and the blood spilt downwards into nothing. His body was floating gently towards the edge. He couldn't swim away, he couldn't fight, he could only wait for his end which taunted him, until he was there floating at the edge, as the blood flowed around him.

            He needed to make a decision he realised but he wasn't sure what decision he was meant to make. Something about life and death? He was sure of that but all he could think was 'Don't let me fall.'

            The thought repeated in his head over and over and as it did, stairs appeared leading up into the darkness above and Gackt understood. Dark below, dark above? Which should he choose? He wanted You, he wanted his lover here to show him the way but he wasn't and he had to make up his mind for himself.

            Up felt right, up felt like you were growing and accomplishing your goals. Up was the way to heaven, right? But did that mean up was death? Still, he was so scared of going down with the blood, that up seemed like the sensible option and so he stepped onto the lowest step and began to climb, finding it difficult at first but getting easier as he ascended the stairs and before he knew it he was running. Up and up and up he ran, sure this was the way he had to go, just as long as he didn't fall he'd be alright.

 

            You sat beside Gackt worrying. He had no idea how long the change took, how he would know if Gackt was dead or a vampire. Right now he was breathing, which must mean he was still human, right? Was he dying? There were no signs he was changing. The wounds he had caused with his teeth had heeled but a large bruise covered half of Gackt's face, reminding You of what he had done to the man he had claimed to love. Why had he been so foolish? He always had had problems with his anger and Gackt knew it. Of course the other would play on this weakness, the fool.

            A sound from outside called You's attention away from Gackt, someone was lurking around outside. What an idiot, trying to steal from a vampire, or whatever they were up too. You left them to it, more concerned about Gackt right now to care about scaring them off.

            The front door hadn't been locked and as it opened You realised this was no thief, Chachamaru after his lover again? Anger surged through You again and he let his fangs grow as he tried to keep his actions controlled by logic, not emotions. He's learnt the hard way that anger wasn't an emotion you wanted controlling you.

            “I know you're here slut.” You called out cheerfully into his home, hearing Chachamaru's fear in the quickening of his heart beat. So, he was close then.

            “Where is he?” Chachamaru demanded. “Where's Gackt?”

            “He's mine, whore.” You informed Chachamaru, stepping out of the room as he heard the other approaching the door. He didn't want Cha to see Gackt like this, didn't want the other to know what he had done.

            “Funny, he came to me because you wouldn't make him yours.” Chachamaru replied, a stake in hand, that worried You about as much as walking down a narrow cliff path. One slip and you'd fall to your death but it was unlikely to happen, so you simply remained cautious.

            “He used you. He told me himself.” You replied, noticing that Chachamaru wasn't even bothered by this comment. So it was true, he knew that Gackt was using him then.

            “Where is Gackt?” Chachamaru demanded. “If you've killed him, I swear to God....”

            “God doesn't scare a vampire,” Gackt spoke up, startling the pair who hadn't realised he'd been listening to the last half of the argument. “Seriously guys, why do you both insist on never getting along?”

            “He's changed you.” Chachamaru spoke up noticing straight away how pale Gackt looked, how dangerous he suddenly seemed.

            “I've changed,” Gackt agreed. “Finally. And to all the gods from all religions, I swear I won't put up with this arguing any longer. Cha, I'm a vampire, You's a vampire, get over it. You, stop antagonising him. You know he doesn't like you, so you insist on proving everything he thinks you are to be true! Never once has either of you tried to get along.”

            “Gackt...” You began but his lover hadn't finished.

            “No. I'm calling the shots now,” Gackt informed both of them. “I'm a vampire now, I make my own rules and you know I'm sick to death of monogamy. It's so hard been attracted to two men and having to stay loyal to just one. So I’ve decided that you're both mine.”
            “What?” You demanded, beyond furious with Gackt.

            “Consider it your punishment for trying to kill me.” Gackt informed You, who stood open mouthed as Gackt walked past him to approach Chachamaru, who was staring at Gackt with surprise and fear.

            “You know he'll just kill me.” Chachamaru complained.

            “No, because if you die, I’ll find three others to replace you. And if they die three others to replace each of them,” Gackt threatened. “You got that You? You leave Cha alone.”

            “I'm not agreeing to this.” You complained.

            “Then leave.” Gackt informed his lover.

            “Actually, Cha you leave, I need to talk to You. Though you're not free from compromise. You're to be nice to You. Do your very best to get along, even if he hates your guts and wants to rip them out.”

            “I'm supposed to like a man who hates me?” Chachamaru demanded.

            “You can at least be civil,” Gackt replied. “Now please leave. You and I have a lot to discuss.”

            “Gackt, he killed you!” Chachamaru exclaimed but Gackt had already turned his back and was leading You up the stairs so that they could talk in peace. With a sigh Cha left, debating the deal Gackt had made. Could he be one of Gackt's two lovers? Well it was better than not being with Gackt at all.

 

            “Gackt, I'm sorry I tried to kill you,” You apologised the second they reached the bedroom. “I'm sorry I didn't change you before. That I made you cheat on me but is this really how it's going to be from now on? Having to share you?”

            “No, you could leave,” Gackt explained. “But I’d rather you stay. I had you all figured out. Why you kept me human so long. I was your food. Your dinner. Well now Chachamaru is mine and you can find someone else.”

            “Wait, you’re saying Chachamaru is just your food?” You asked.

            “No. I love him, he's a great friend and I will sleep with him but how can a vampire truly live the rest of their lives with a human?” Gackt asked. “They can't. I had to become a vampire to be with you. A handful of decades and Chachamaru will be dead and I’ll have to replace him but you'll still be here. You'll always be here because you’re my soul mate. You’re my lover.”

            “I don't like this.” You complained.

            “And I won't like it when you find a human to love but it doesn't matter. Don't you understand? No matter what, I love you. I'm yours, as I’ve always been.”

            “I don't know...” You complained but Gackt's lips was meeting his now and they were kissing. Such a sweet tender kiss that You had only an hour ago wondered if he'd ever get to experience again. Perhaps he owed Gackt this freedom? He had attacked and tried to kill him and yet he was still here, in their bed kissing him as nothing had happened. Sharing Gackt was a lot better than not having him at all and his lover was right, fifty years and Chachamaru would be gone.

            You pinned Gackt down onto the bed beneath him and claimed his body as his own, as he had done a thousand times before. He'd forget about Chachamaru for now, forget that he had killed his lover because Gackt was dead now, just like he was.

            Clothes fell away as if pushed back by the wind and before he knew it You was sliding his length into Gackt, in a dreamy haze of longing and need. Their bodies moved together as one and Gackt wrapped his legs around You, pulling him closer. Moans filled the room and Gackt smiled happily at his lover before deciding he wanted to be on top.

            Pushing You over Gackt rode his lover, bending over him as they kissed. His erection brushed against You's chest and he felt so filled and loved right now that it felt like everything else had been a dream and only this was reality.

            When You came, he happily finished Gackt off with his mouth before wrapping the other in his embrace. He buried his head in Gackt's neck and kissed the skin gently, getting used to the new scent of his lover. Life wasn't perfect, it never would be, but right now it felt close enough to perfection that even Gackt was content and for that You was happy. Perhaps putting up with Chachamaru would be easier than putting up with Gackt's constant demands? No, who was he fooling? Gackt would never stop demanding things and You would never lose his patience because of it. He knew that when he was angry or in a mood he could be hell to put up with but Gackt never complained. For better or for worse, they were together and even death couldn't bring them apart.