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When the world doesn't give you what you want, just do it yourself

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Hello everyone! 


I know our fandom is still small and I'll probably not get many requests. But my goal is to write as many fanfictions as possible for of course the older fans but also when new ones will arrive they will already have something to read about!


As said in the title, its a dumping ground for all kind of stories about UNB. Because the world doesn't want to write about them, I decided to do it myself. 


For the people who want to request anything:


-I write about all pairings


-I will accept Unit B pairings so basically ships that happened on the show, only if one of UNB members is a part of the ship


-I can write smut but nothing about minors (aka Kijung)


-Remember that if you request something, don't just ask for a pairing but also a plot 


-I also accept non-ships requests!


-Requesting something doesn't mean I will write about it so please don't be too disappointed if I don't write your request


And that's about it! Please enjoy your read!

Chapter Text

Euijin was as pretty as he was infuriating.

It all started years ago when Gwangseok used to talk about his senior at college, this senior who was so talented, who could make stages that just left you in awe. Seyong didn’t really like how his friend was talking about this man as if he was a fucking legend. As a dancer and choreographer himself, Seyong wasn’t very impressed with those claims he needed to see it by himself, and it wasn’t Gwangseok, who talked about him like this while he never saw the guy with his own eyes, who will convince him.

And with times the “Lee Euijin” subject died out and Seyong stopped thinking about it. Sometimes he saw his name on his social media or someone in his dancer group of friends mentioning him, but except that, nothing. And that was it, Seyong never thought he will hear or see the guy himself in the future, but he remembers even then, that the so-called Lo-j was infuriating.

And that it was a stupid stage name.

It’s just years later when he appeared in The Unit with him that he remembered his name and he saw again this glint in Gwangseok eyes, the admiration, and the wonder. So, this time with apprehension, he, as well, looked at him.

Oh boy, Seyong wasn't prepared for how pretty the guy was.

With one of the most stunning smile he ever saw, perfect white teeth, and bright eyes he just couldn’t look away. And well even though he knew it wasn’t a good idea to have two good dancers on the same team, he couldn’t help himself and join him for the first mission in The Unit. Maybe he will also finally see what all the fuss was all about.

Let just say he wasn’t very impressed at first.

He did way too many mistakes, and he made Seyong just so angry all the times. People in their teams called that artists disagreement, Seyong called that just being competitive, and he thought that Euijin was making their team, his team lose. And it made him so angry.

He had to prove himself to the public, he had to prove himself to everyone, and he felt like the guy was ruining his chances.

Still, even without makeup, even without his smile on, even when they were fighting, and he just looked mad, Euijin still looked stupidly pretty. And it was infuriating. Euijin was beautiful and it was probably how he couldn’t think of anything else while looking at him that made Seyong so so so mad at himself.

And this time he noticed even more things about him, his small figure that made him even more huggable, small hands just too cute for their own goods and how much he wanted to hold them, his weird addiction to ugly caps and how he wished he will stop hiding his stupidly pretty face with them.

He noticed all of that and even more, and Seyong just hated himself for it.

For the second mission he thought that maybe he could escape him and those feelings, but unfortunately, fate hated him and Euijin chose the same team as him.

And all hell breaks loose again.

And this time it was even worse. Honestly speaking, Seyong knew he was too much, maybe he got angry too easily, but when Euijin was involved, apparently, he couldn’t think straight and every little thing that he did made him overreact.

Euijin laughed? He felt like the sun itself entered the room to illuminate his life.

Euijin looked serious? He should be the most serious man on the planet as well because everything Euijin was serious about was a solemn matter.

Euijin looked sad over anything? Then the whole world was to blame, and it better does something about it before Seyong destroyed it himself.

He had a disagreement with Euijin? Well, it was the most important thing in the world even if they were just talking about toothpaste. So, if the subject was something they were both passionate about like dancing? Oh boy, you better not be in the same room as them. To not make things any better, his ankle hurts him so much, it just added fuel to the fire.

“Do you hate him so much?”

One day Gwangseok asked him, out of worry since he was complaining so much about Euijin. And it made him furrow his eyebrows as if it was the stupidest question in the world, and it was because Euijin was the sun and hating the sun was such a dumb thing to do, so no. Seyong didn’t hate him.

“No. He’s just infuriating.”

He still didn’t want to this day think about what the “ooooh” and knowing eyes his friend throws at him at this moment meant. Because he knew it already.

Seyong had a very bad crush on the guy with pretty smiles and small hands. He had a crush on Euijin and he apparently was very bad at hiding it.

But then the mission ended, and he never was with Euijin again for a mission in the entire show.

And he missed him.

He was pretty sure the sentiment wasn’t mutual, he was probably happy to be far away from the guy who always seemed to be angry at him for nothing. If Seyong was the kind of man to get upset about things like this, he will probably cry himself to sleep every night for how stupid he was to ruins even the smallest chance to be at least friend with him.

But no, he was at best a friendly acquaintance, at worst the guy who seemed to be always angry at everything he did. Neither of those options was something he wanted. And Seyong was a man who always tried his best to get what he wanted.

He realized that if he didn’t win the show if he didn’t debut with Euijin, he wouldn’t have any excuse to see him again. Because they weren’t friends, they were nothing. And this realization hit him like a storm, he knew he had to do something before it happened.

And okay, maybe he should have waited for the dance practice to end and not storm out from the room like the devil was chasing him -Donghyun would probably make a comment that you cannot chase yourself but honestly fuck Donghyun-, but Seyong was stubborn man, and when he had something on his mind, he had to do it.

And maybe looking like a madman who just saw something he should not have seen wasn’t the best appearance he could have dealing with this situation, and maybe entering the pull me team room like that wasn’t the best idea he ever had, just maybe, but Seyong still didn’t care.

When he opened the door wide he could hear the room get silent, he could feel every eye on him, and he still didn’t give a damn, he searched for Euijin with his eyes and when he found him he almost run towards and put both of hands on his shoulders looking straight into his eyes with the most serious face he ever had. If Seyong was honest with himself, he would maybe admit that he was quite scary at that and Euijin looked terrified.

“-Euijin hyung. Let’s go get coffee sometimes.


-Coffee. Like friends. Let’s be friends”

There was a pause. He could definitively hear Gwangseok snickers behind him, this traitor, and see Daewon smiling awkwardly behind Euijin.  But he never shifted his gaze from Euijin.


He finally allowed himself to breathe. He closed his eyes for a second relieved beyond belief and then smiled brightly. He could hear Marco choking himself with water at the sight as if it was that surprising.

Well, he could add him to his already long “fuck you” list. He had a good smile and he did smile a lot thank you very much. Euijin also looked amazed by the view, but Euijin was perfect so him being surprised was a perfect reaction, the end.

“-Good. I’ll ask Gwangseok your number later, let’s be good friends later.”

He couldn’t stop smiling. And maybe he was coming out as weird to Euijin but at least, he had time to prove himself worthy of his time.

And maybe, just maybe, one-day Euijin will be smiling at him.

Chapter Text

Lee Geon wasn’t as optimistic as Daewon was.

When everything went down with Madtown and their agency, the only one who still had the power in him to smile was Daewon. He was the only one who really tried to make it seems like everything was okay, that soon they will be able to come back and do something with their career as idols. But nobody believed him, and Geon was pretty sure Daewon didn’t believe in this as well, he just wanted to. And because Daewon wanted to believe in this lie, Geon tried to do it too. But as much as they tried and hoped, nothing changed, they couldn’t do anything about it, and Daewon smile faltered a bit. And that, he didn’t want. Because if even Daewon loose hope, it meant there was nothing left to hope for.

Call it fate or something like that, but it was at this moment of despair when The Unit was announced. Lee Geon thought it was their chance to try again to be on that stage together once again, but except him, the members wanted to move on, too disappointed in the industry, too tired to try again. And he thought he will have to do it alone, but then Daewon smiled and said they should go together. And he knew, he knew that at first, he didn’t do it much for himself that to be here for him, and he was grateful for that really. Daewon was an optimist even in the worst cases, and it felt great to have someone to be with him on this new journey. He didn’t think much about the results then, about the possibility of him getting better ones than him, he was just grateful.

Now he wasn’t that surprised that his friend got better results, Daewon was talented and hard-working. But more than that, he had a good character, a lovable one. There was a reason why he had been chosen as an idol. It was easy to love him, simple as that. And in this field, it probably was the most important feature you could have. Still, saying that he wasn’t disappointed to not get as good results or just a tad envious will be a lie, and maybe he did show it a bit, that’s why Daewon called him out. He wasn’t resentful about it, The Unit was a show, a variety show, and being entertaining was important. It also displayed to the public their chemistry and how those things didn’t affect their friendship that much and it was a good thing. Still, Daewon worried, because it’s Daewon. Daewon worried and worried and sooner than later he approached him asking if he was okay if he wasn’t too much. Typical Daewon. So, he reassured him, promised him to not act like that anymore, smiled and asked him if he wanted to eat anything. It was enough, their friendship was strong enough to be intact after this small event.

Everything went too fast after that, the missions,  the official announcement of Madtown disbandment, the congratulations call from his mother for making it to the final, the texts from the other members wishing them well, he blinked, and it was already the final episode. And Daewon was smiling. A true one. And, Geon knew whatever the result will be, everything will be okay.

When Daewon name was called, he wasn’t surprised. Daewon deserved it and he found himself happy for his friend, at least one of them would make it. Daewon called his name, telling him to come here fast, and even though he entertained the idea for a minute or two, he knew he wouldn’t be here with him, and it was okay.

Lee Geon wasn’t an optimist like Daewon was, so he knew before the show even started that they will not debut together again and that they’ll probably after the show never be a team again. And it was okay because he cherished every moment he spent with Madtown, with Daewon, preciously. Life wasn’t a fairytale and most of the time the ending wasn’t a happy ever after. And that’s why the happiest moments in life were more valuable because you never knew when they will stop. And that day on the stage, far away from his friend, it was the end of a part of his life, and right now looking into Daewon happy eyes, he was more okay with it than he thought he would be.

No, he wasn’t an optimist. But he was sure of one thing at least, whatever the paths they will take, whatever the distance that will separate them, Daewon will still be his friend.

He wasn’t an optimist, but he was sure he will meet him again soon. And this day, Daewon will still be smiling and be the optimist one for the both of them.

He couldn’t wait.

Chapter Text

“Jun, you should try and be even more obvious really, I’m sure Hansol isn’t noticing at all how you’re just glaring at him like that, really dude its creepy”

Jun snapped out of his reverie to glance back at Chan who was looking at him in disbelief. Clearly, Jun was annoyed, how this little Toad, dared to interrupt him in is Hansol contemplation. Especially when he was like this, focused on dancing trying to get all the moves right. He had this cute little frown on his face as if he wasn’t sure what he did wrong, but obviously, to him, there was something wrong. His Hansol was so hard-working, and yet already so talented, he couldn’t take so much perfection with just one look. So of course, he had to stare, how was he supposed to absorb all Hansol greatness with just glancing at him one time? Ridiculous. Chan clearly didn’t know what he was talking about or he will be staring at him with him, not telling him to stop.

“Oh my god, he is doing it again! Euijin hyung please do something, I beg you”

And here he was again, being an annoyance. Jun sighed, and looked this time at Euijin who was just smiling, but honestly when this guy wasn’t; was the real question. But of course, the Toad will ask the smurf for help. So, what he’s going to do? Get angry? Tell him he was creepy? Well, he wasn’t the one crying about how Seyong didn’t follow him back on Instagram and literally stalk him on every social media, so who was the worst one between the two of them? So, what you gonna say Euijin huh?!

“Let him be, it’s cute.” And Euijin was still smiling.

…Well. His hyung just got an upgrade in his book, he wasn’t a smurf anymore but…Hello Kitty. Was Hello Kitty taller? He wasn’t sure, but it was cuter, at least.

“-How is it cute hyung?! He looks like a psychopath!

-He looks like someone who is experiencing their first love, it’s adorable.” He said dreamily, a nostalgic look on his face as if he was remembering an old happy memory, like the freaking old man he truly was.

Chan pulled out the most disgusted face Jun ever saw him pulling out. He truly looked horrified by what Euijin just said. And honestly if Jun wasn’t too occupied admiring Hansol-And, oh he just smiled because he got the moves right, how cute- he would maybe be offended.

“Hyung…. No, no. That’s not a first love that’s just an obsession! Kijung, don’t you think so? Do you not think that Jun looked too obsessed over him?”

How low of you Kang Yoochan, trying to get points by using the youngest here, with probably the less experience in this field to make him believe that his attitude wasn’t normal when you were in love. How low Kang Yoochan, how low. But you forget just one thing Kang Yoochan…

“No I agree with Euijin hyung it’s very cute!!! The cutest ever!”

…It was that if Euijin was on his side, Kijung automatically was as well. How stupid of you to not remember this rule Kang Yoochan, how stupid. And Euijin smiled at him giving him an approving nod and Kijung probably will be happy for the rest of the day, seriously Kijung admiration for Euijin knew no limits.

Chan clearly wasn’t happy about the situation, and probably be just the only one to think this way the toad hated losing, so this time his eyes got on Daewon, who was just minding his own business on the corner of the dance practice room when he felt Chan burning eyes and looked up. And Daewon undoubtedly heard them talk cause Chan just had to open his mouth a little bit that Daewon got up, told them he had to use the bathroom and it was very urgent and really, he couldn’t stay here for a second more you see, too bad. Daewon was a very bad liar.  But he hated even more to take a side.

The room was silent for a moment and Jun thought for a second that maybe he would finally find peace, but then, the door opened widely, and their leader arrived with the biggest smile ever on his face. He was probably going to great them in the same manner when he noticed Chan face and started to worry.

“-…What is happening here?

-Hyung please help me! Everyone lost their mind!

-Huh?” If there was a picture next to confusion in the dictionary, it probably be Gwangseok face at this moment.

“-They’re crazy. Jun is looking at Hansol like a creepy stalker and everyone think it’s cute. Please say something, you’re the leader!” And perhaps Jun would have find it in himself to pity him if he wasn’t such a nuisance to his love life right now.

Gwangseok still looked confuse for a minute looked at him, and then at Hansol and it finally clicked in his head. Jun could almost here the little “oooooh” going through it.

So, what the Minimoy would try say to him, huh? Mister it’s-been-two-hours-since-I-texted-my-girlfriend-and-she-still-didn’t-asnwer-and-while-I’m-sad-about-it-I’ll-try-to-look-okay-but-fail-miserably? What you gonna say?!

“I don’t think so, he looked enamored, its cute”

…Who the hell used enamored while talking nowadays? Apparently, Jun wasn’t the only one surprised by that because Euijin looked totally unimpressed and Chan just really perplexed. Kijung was just confused.

“You know what. Fuck it-“

-Language Chan, there’s a child here.” That was Euijin, trying to be a responsible adult for once.

“-Kijung is seventeen not two years old!

-Still a child.

-Kijung, say somethin-

-No, I agree with Euijin hyung! I’m still a child!”

And Chan looked so done at this moment. In a last attempt he tried to look for support on Feeldog, but apparently the girlfriend finally answered because he wasn’t looking at them anymore, and then Chan was thoroughly defeated.

Jun watched Chan with a triumphing smile while the later decided to just glare at him and started sulking on his own. Well at least now he could go back to his “lets admire how fantastic Hansol is” hobby. His favorite. But then Hansol looked at him back in the mirror, a questioning looks on his face, probably asking why Chan looked like he wanted to murder everything cute in the world. Jun just smiled back and shrugged his shoulders as if he was telling him it wasn’t important, Hansol just nodded, smiled at him, and maybe that’s what a heart attack looked like, and went back to practicing.

“-You see Chan how cute that was? How can you not.

-Just shut up hyung”’ was the only mumbled answer he got back.

Chapter Text

“You know the more I think about it, the more I think Euijin is objectively the cutest in our band.”

Hojung slowly raised his head from his book to look at their leader, who was laid down on the couch of their dance practice room, both of his hands on his belly, looking at the ceiling with such open eyes, he almost worried they were going to pop out at one point or another. Hojung looked perplexed for a second, wondering why Gwangseok said that out of the blue when it hits him. Feeldog was on one of his mood where the only thing he asked for the people around him, was to play armchair psychologist to him. And this time, it was Hojung, and he couldn’t escape. Fuck.

Don’t get him wrong he really liked his hyung and helping him wasn’t something he wasn't against of usually, except when he was like this. Because Feeldog wasn’t waiting for Hojung to help him out, but to just listen to his ramblings for hours while giving him approving hums and nods when it was appropriate and also giving some sorts of advice that the leader will fake to consider and then keep rambling, which meant he was also forced to not just listen, but to understand what he was saying. The worst, the actual worst. So, it was with a face of despair and panic, that the gentle guy of UNB was condemned to pay attention. And Feeldog was waiting for his reaction, and not saying anything will result in a Gwangseok in a very bad mood and honestly, Hojung didn’t want to be the cause of that (actually he didn’t want to be the one the other members accused of being in this situation but hey let him think it was for his hyung not for selfish purposes)


Okay, maybe he will try to be more convincing next time.

“Yeah. I mean if we think about it, Kijung is the cutest right? He has the cheeks, the personality, and just this very young aura around him. But that’s it. He’s young so he’s cute, but who knows what will happen in the future? Will he still be the cutest? Will he change? Will he be sick of just being labeled as cute and try to do a total image swap and be sexy? Who knows.”

He made a pause at that, and Hojung thought for a second he was supposed to say something, but what he wasn’t sure. But he didn’t have to think for too long cause apparently Feeldog just stopped to take his breath back, and then started to talk again. For way too long.

“But Euijin? Euijin is twenty-eight years old Hojung. Twenty-eight years old. Almost thirty if you think about it, and yet he still looks younger than most of us, especially you, no offense.”

No offense taken. One day Euijin should give all of them his skin care routine and just his secret because he had to admit it he was impressed about how Euijin looked like the second youngest in their band and totally not the oldest. And this time he will not take “its all in your mind Hojung if you feel young, you will look young” for an answer because it was bullshit. Anyways all of this to say that he agreed on this point.

“And he’s just…Just so cute. His smile is cute and his hands, his face, he’s so small it’s cute, he’s cute.”

Hojung wasn’t sure how to say to their leader that he was, you know, smaller, and if you used this logic he was, technically, cuter than Euijin. But he got the point.

“And he is just the sun of my life.”

Well, that escalated quickly.

“He smiles, and I smile. We all smile. And when he laughs…When he laughed his eyes laugh with him and then his laughing eyes look at me and it’s as if the sun looked at me and my life got illuminated by a divine light.”

Okay…Well, Hojung just had one thing to say to this, Feeldog was an amazing dancer, a god-damn good artist, a very good rapper who writes very nice lyrics and a good singer, just an amazingly talented guy overall. But an awful poet, please never let him write anything. It was too much, and if he wasn’t stuck in this place listening to him maybe he will go throw up, he was the gentle one in this band, not the nice one. Where was Daewon when you needed him. He really wanted to go back to his book right now. And it was a bad sappy romance novel his other leader aka Timoteo forced him to read to “get in character, take your image seriously and be inspired by what a romantic guy will do, be a fantasy”. Why was he an idol again?

But Hojung didn’t have time to throw a pity party for himself because Feeldog started again.

“He’s just cute you know. And I just…Cannot resist him.”

No shit. It was a surprise for nobody. Gwangseok has a soft spot for him and honestly, sometimes Hojung thought it was unfair how he could basically do anything, and he never got angry at. But Marco did the same thing? Well, he was punished. And when he asked for an explanation about this unfairness the only thing he got was “Euijin is older, he knows better don’t drag him in this”. Which was the definition of injustice. Everyone knew he had a crush on him, so why, for god sake did he feel obliged to tell him all of that as if he didn’t know already? He should just confess already he was pretty sure Euijin will not say no. Their oldest was pretty obvious honestly, anyone with a pair of eyes and a little bit of logic will connect the dots between his shy glances and soft smiles each time their leader was in the room, heck even Kijung noticed it. Kijung. But no. Feeldog was feeling very stubborn at not noticing anything and let’s not talk about their oldest who just was…An oblivious idiot. Hojung supposed that the countless hair bleach he went through finally made he lose some brain cells, because Gwangseok…Gwangseok was like this on this couch.  And just so so noticeable in general.

“And sometimes I dream of making him feel good under my hands, makes him scream and-“

Too much information. Way too much information. It was time to stop. Until now Hojung has been really nice and all but there was a limit to what he was able to listen to. And that, Feeldog wet dreams was too much. And he really didn’t want to think about it later, about what his hyung thought about doing to Euijin, really no thanks.  It was time to make him stop for good.


It apparently surprised him, he presumably didn’t expect Hojung to scream like that, not him. And finally, Feeldog looked at him. For real this time. He didn’t seem very happy to be forced to stop, but he did. And Hojung was at least thankful for that.

“First of all hyung, never write any poems to anyone. Promise me.


-Promise me.


-Good. Second of all Euijin likes you, you like him, confess and let’s get over it, it was fun and everything the first month but now it’s getting tiring. Confess and then you can…Do whatever you were imagining doing please just don’t tell me any more about it I beg you.”

And honestly, Hojung was ready to get on his knees and beg for real if it meant he will stop. The desperation was obviously written on his face because Feeldog looked just dumbfounded as if he didn’t understand exactly what caused this reaction. But then:

“Wait, how are you so sure of that? That he likes me?”

Oh my god.

“Oh my god. It’s obvious, just end our suffering, and confess. Please. I get it Euijin is very fantastic, cute, and everything positive in the word, WE GET IT. Just confess. I don’t care the way you do it just confess. Confess.”

He probably looked crazy. And Gwangseok wasn’t used to Hojung acting like this.

“-Okay then.”

Would he really have to explain why Euijin liked him as well, and all the details because if he had to he really didn-wait.

Did he really just say “okay”?

“-For real?

-I mean yes. You seem pretty sure about it and I trust you. I’ll give it a chance, we’re all adults here I can endure someone turning me down you know.”


“-So why you didn’t do it sooner?!

-Well, I was sure I had no chance. Not gonna risk ruining the band mood, for nothing. But if you say I have a chance, well I will take it. Thanks, Hojung. I knew you were the right one to talk to.”

And then he smiled. He dared to smile. Like Hojung didn’t suffer for all this time like he couldn’t believe it was that easy from the beginning. When he will tell that to the other members they will not believe him.

“We should start to warm up. The guys are going to come back soon, and practice will start again. I…I will confess later tonight. Sorry if I made your life tougher. I didn’t mean to.”

Well, now Hojung felt bad. But he did something good right? Tonight, a new couple will be made, and he will be the one responsible for it, it was a good thing. So, he smiled at Feeldog telling him he overexaggerated and that he was just worried about him and the band. And Feeldog smiled back. He did the right thing.

In two or three weeks when the couple will be too lovey-dovey and just painful to watch, he will regret it a bit.

For now, he was just happy he was helping.

Chapter Text

Seyong was competitive.

And honestly, in a survival like The Unit, it was a good quality, probably the best you could have. As sad as it sounds most people don’t survive by being nice to others, you should think about yourself first and show the world your talents, how better you are than everyone else, at least makes people think you are better because if you don’t stand out you’re going to get eliminated. Being nice is not an option. Well, if you’re not Daewon because apparently, he doesn’t understand this particular rule and for some reasons it worked out. A true mystery.

Anyways, Seyong was competitive. And Euijin just needed to be two seconds in the same room as him to understand that very well. At first, he was happy the guy wanted to be in the same team as him, he knew him, he was considered as one of the best b-boy in the idols world after all and as such he had a reputation, so someone like him wanted to be with the who-is-this-guy one? Well, Euijin was happy, it meant Seyong maybe, just maybe, considered him good enough to be a team and he was set to show him he didn’t make a bad choice.

Well proving it became a little bit harder to do that he intended it to be. To be fair to Seyong, he totally admitted he wasn’t that great for the first mission, he was stressed out for a lot of reasons, Seyong himself being one, and he was pretty much ashamed of his performance as a whole. So yeah overall The My Turn mission was a failure and he promised himself to do way better for the next one. He was just sad that the only thing he accomplished was to make Seyong hates him. The glares the guy sends him sometimes where just the definition of pure hatred and knowing that it was directed at him was pretty depressing. So, when he finished in the same team as him for the second mission, he was determined this time to prove him wrong, to show him how good he was. There was only one thing Euijin was confident in, and it was dancing, he wasn’t ready to let that go yet.

And apparently, he failed a second time, because he wasn’t enough for him this time again. The second mission was full of disagreement as well, and this time Euijin wasn’t ashamed enough to just let it go. They were arguing hard about everything and anything and it was infuriating. Euijin just wanted to have his approval, just one time but it was too much to ask, and the only thing he got from him was harsh glares.

Everything Seyong did was intense, he never was the type to do a thing just halfway, no. If he liked something, and it was important to him he didn’t hesitate and just give his 100% to it. So Euijin wasn't surprised that when he hated someone, like him, he gave his whole self to hate this person, and it hurts a bit to be the target of this hatred, to be quite honest.

But those eyes. Each time Seyong looked at him it was with such intensity that it gave him chills and if he wasn’t an adult with already twenty-eight years on this planet he would probably blush. But it certainly made his heart beat faster and just weak in general. It was too much, and he felt ridiculous, it was hatred, and being turned on, god he didn’t want to admit it, by that, was such a thing he didn’t want to happen. But apparently his gayness didn’t agree, but it agreed on Seyong being really hot. At first, he didn’t really pay attention to that, because well, it was an idol show, everyone was handsome. But after the Heartbeat performance, he just…Noticed. Seyong doesn’t have the same passion practicing or on stage, and he just had to watch his performance fancam later on, and he did that with everyone, not just Seyong don’t judge him, that he saw it. How handsome he was. From there, Euijin was a goner. And a sad one, because he was despised by the one he liked. And Seyong could act all he wants when the camera was rolling, he saw the way his gaze shifted toward him when they weren’t there anymore. And it crushed him a bit from inside.

The worst part in all of that was the jealousy. Now Euijin wasn’t one to be jealous. Really, he wasn’t but when the guy you like act as if you were the cholera and the plague all at once, but at the same time acted perfectly fine and friendly with everyone else, well there were things to be spiteful of, at least that was his opinion. And Euijin had a very…Cold jealousy. He was the type to always smile whatever happens and him being like this was no exception, but, at least that’s what Gwangseok said later, it was a creepy kind of smile, the one you don’t want to be directed at you. And it was directed at everyone. Each time Seyong was concerned. And well nobody in the show was stupid enough to not understand what was going on, except maybe Seyong. Everyone was suffering from Euijin jealousy until one-day Feeldog had enough and talked to him. Nobody knows what was say this day, but when they came out Feeldog had a big smile on his face and Euijin looked embarrassed.

(Everyone had their own theories from “omg do you think Gwangseok hyung confessed to make Euijin his and makes him forgot about Seyong??” to “They had a dance battle to the death. The loser has to make the other one wish come true. Euijin hyung asked Feeldog hyung to organize him a date with Seyong while Feeldog asked him to forget about it and his feelings because Seyong was his. And Feeldog hyung won, poor Euijin hyung.” But the truth was, they just had an adult conversation because they were, in fact, responsible adults. Reality is boring people. Also, Unit B members have too much imagination. Feeldog suspected the second rumor was from Junyoung but he, unfortunately, had no proofs)

And while everyone else looked happy, Seyong looked furious. And Euijin really didn’t know why Seyong didn’t even know what they were talking about for god sake. So why was he so furious against him?! He consoled himself by seeing how for once he wasn’t the only one who was a victim of his hatred because Gwangseok also suffered for some days and everyone who talked about the subject just shut up each time Seyong looked at them. And while he calmed down with everyone else, Euijin was still the object of his intense glares. And it was quite depressing.

The show was ending and he basically gave up on even just being friends with him. Seyong just didn’t like him and he couldn’t do anything about it. He didn’t prepare himself for being that sad over it, he was an old man, after all, he knew better. Not all crushes finished well, you cannot get what you want every time. But apparently, he was crushing harder than he really thought and he didn’t deal with it well. But it was life. Life has never been easy on him after all.

So, he was quite shocked when in the middle of one dance practice, Seyong came, asked him to be friends, asked him on a date-wait, not a date. A let’s get-to-know-each-other meet up. It was surreal. He didn’t know why he did it and he truly thought he wouldn’t do it at all, but here we are, months later.

In a coffee shop, one well-known to celebrities because of their discretion, drinking actual coffee, with Seyong in front of him who was doing his best to smile. He looked uncomfortable as hell, and Eujin even felt bad to accept his proposition if it was to put him in this situation. He sighed and started to get up to excuse himself, give him the speech he prepared in this case: “it’s okay you don’t have to do this, I know you tried because we almost ended in the same band and you wanted to make our relationship better which I understand and admire you for but you don’t have to anymore, it didn’t happen, let’s forget about it, it was nice of you to at least try.” And then go home and cry, but he didn’t have time to do that because Seyong gave him a panicked face and before he could recite his speech he grabbed his arm and said:

“Please. Stay.”

…And who was Euijin to refuse him. He stayed.

He glanced quietly at Seyong who seemed to be struggling to say something as if he didn’t know how to start and when Euijin thought maybe he should do it himself he finally whispered:

“What…Sports do you like?”

Euijin blinked slowly, he didn’t expect this. He wasn’t sure what he did actually expect, but a question about what kind of sport he liked wasn’t on the list.


And that the exact moment where Euijin wanted to cry. Of course, he liked dancing. Seyong knew that everyone did. Why was he awkward. Why all of this was. Seyong just looked at him blankly like he wasn’t sure how to respond, but then he smiled brightly and wow it was the second time it happened with him in the same room he was blessed, and said:

“Cool. Me too. It’s already one thing in common.”

He didn’t believe it. Seyong took his crappy answer for what it was, didn’t make fun of it and even smiled at him, in what kind of alternative reality did he get into? Please never let him leave. And Seyong kept smiling. Smiling at him. And he wasn’t sure how to react to that, he wasn’t used to Seyong being nice to him. But he wasn’t complaining. It was nice for once to get softer glances and a nice conversation. Well, more of a conversation than a nice one, but it was a start. And he could also try to be friends, it seemed to be what he wanted. He could do that. So Euijin gave him his best smile and asked him how he’s been since the final. That’s how friends should behave, ask about each other.

Thus, he really didn’t understand what he did wrong this time when Seyong stopped smiling and glared at him with the same intensity he did in the entire show. He tried to smile even more and giggle a little bit, but it seems to make things worse and now he just didn’t know what to do. So he stopped smiling.

“Seyong? What’s wrong?”

It seemed he snapped him out of his trance because he jumped a little bit. And proceeded to sigh.

“It's worthless. I can’t. I really try but I can’t.”

To say Euijin was confused would be an understatement.

“-You can’t…What exactly?

-Be your friend. Try to be one. Not with you.”

Did you hear that? It was Euijin heart breaking apart. No big deal. His heart was cheap.

He really wanted to cry though.

“O-Oh…Well, I guess I will leave then, thank you for at least trying” and then he tried to leave again, even more depressed than the first time.

“No. Don’t leave, sit down please.”

It didn’t feel like a request, but an order and Euijin looked at him again and it was the same intense eyes as before, the ones who made him weak. So, he sat down. Again. And this time he really didn’t know what to expect.

Seyong kept looking at him as if he was trying to figure something out, but just couldn’t. After a while, he left out another frustrated sigh, rubbed his head in the same manner and started to talk.

“I’m sorry.”

Let just say he, once again, didn’t expect that.


-I’m sorry. You seem to be uncomfortable right now and it’s my fault.

-Oh, it’s okay you don’-

-Let me finish, and no it’s not okay. I’m sorry if in the show it looked like I hated you. I don’t…Hate you.”

Oh. It was a relief, Seyong didn’t hate him. It was already a step in the good direction.

“-And I thought I could try to be friends with you now that the show is over…I thought I could try to-, to know you better. But I can’t.”

Euijin wasn’t sure what to answer because his heart was hurting a lot right now.

“-It’s okay Seyong, we can’t be friends with everyone, I understand if…If I’m not interesting enough to you, we can’t be to everyone I-

-Don’t you fucking dare say that about yourself. And let me finish.”

And Euijin just shuts up, because honestly, what can he do.

“-It’s not that I don’t want to know you better. I do. It’s actually the only thing I wish for right now, I just can’t be friends while trying to do so. Do you get what I mean?”

No Euijin really didn’t get what he meant. And it really made him frustrated. What Seyong wanted of him? If he didn’t want to be friends, why even trying?! And what does it mean, I want to know you better but not like this, in what other circumstance you wish to know someone better than to be their frie-. Oh.

It finally hits him.

Seyong wanted this to become a date. Not just a meet up between future friends. He wanted to…Get into a romantic relationship with him. And when Euijin realized, tried to look into Seyong eyes for answers and found nothing but what he thought he meant, he blushed. He blushed. The old man that he was, just did that and it was embarrassing, could he hide already?


Oh my god now he was stuttering.

“-Yes me. I’m serious about this. If, if you feel nothing, which I will understand I wasn’t the nicest to you, could you let me try?


-Try to make you feel something.”

Consider him seduced. He didn’t have to try.

And Seyong had this expression again. The one where he will do anything to get what he wanted.

Seyong was competitive. In a survival, it probably was the best quality you could have.

Euijin wondered if it also was the case in this kind of scenario. If he truly will do anything to make him fall for him. But as tempting as it was to just let him do it and see, Euijin already felt.


-No? I swear I can-

-It’s your time to let me finish.”

He apparently wanted to argue against that, but Euijin gave him a soft smile and it was enough to shut him up.

“-You don’t need to that. I just don’t need it. I’m willing to try, cause I already, uh, feel, you know?”

It was silent for a second, Seyong looked at him with astonishment as if he didn’t anticipate that at all. And then, hesitantly he stretched his hand out towards Euijin and grabbed his. He smiled softly and said:

“-Okay then. Let’s try to know each other better, what do you think about that?”

He could only smile.

“-I agree”

And for now, it was enough. They could take things slow, they had all the time of the world. And if later they feel embarrassed of the way they started their relationship, it was another story.


(“-You know that you have one bad habit?

-What is it?

-The way you glare at me each time I smile, it’s so intense. At first, I thought you hated me.

-I still do that?


-Does it bother you?

-No, not anymore it feels nice nowadays. It makes me smile more, I guess? Knowing you look at me.

-So, I’ll keep this one bad habit then.


-Yeah, if one bad habit makes you smile even more prettily, it’s worth it.

-You’re cheesy.

-But you’re smiling.

-I guess I am.”)

Chapter Text

Being in an idol band wasn’t the easiest job on earth.

Sure, it was a job Yoochan will never exchange for anything else in the world, but it wasn’t the one his mother will have chosen for him if she had in mind is well-being. Because being an idol meant to be perfect, and perfection wasn’t achieved by lazing around. And well with A.C.E schedules, he didn’t have time to do so. Between fan meetings, practice, even more, fan meetings, practice again, and oh, fan meetings, he didn’t have time for himself at all. So, he still wondered how he and Junhee found some for The Unit, and how Donghun, Byeongkwan, and Sehyun did for Mixnine. Truly, the fear of being forgotten, of one day, not having any opportunities at all, any chances to prove yourself, can do wonder. Yoochan saw all of this in The Unit, the fate of the forgotten. And it was scary. But he also saw the force that drives them, the one you can't have until you hit the bottom of the pit and you can just look up to the sky trying to grasp even the smallest opportunity to get out of it. When he sees this in the people he now works with, he could just admire them. And all of that was also a part of why being in an idol band wasn’t the easiest job.

But being in two of them, while you still have schedules with the first one and your debut with the second one is getting nearer and nearer and you must practice hard for it? It was beyond being a nightmare. It was hell on earth. Chan wondered when the last time was he saw a bed. He slept in cars, in planes but never on beds. He knew that he actually had one in UNB new dorm, but he never saw it with his own eyes, and well if you have never seen something how could you be sure it truly exists right? Damn, he needed to sleep. More than 3 hours. But he couldn’t because he had responsibilities and the fans paid to see him in his best condition, not sleeping on stage, not being sloppy because he didn’t practice enough for this performance in particular. Being an idol was being perfect. At least showing your best sides, nobody liked the ugliest parts of oneself.

Yes, being in Chan shoes right now wasn’t the most advised if you wanted to be a really healthy person, but hey who cares it’s just your health right? Pshhhhh! An old thing, useless.

But it wasn’t finished. And you might ask him, “well Chan, what is even more horrible than being so busy you can’t sleep properly at all? How is it even possible?” and well, how about being that busy and having a lover at the same time?

“But Chan”, you will say, “having a lover and being an idol? How horrendous! You’re supposed to stay single forever and be pure and everything!” well yes that was the theory. The reality was everyone was dating, and some were just more discreet than others. And Chan was very discreet with it. But it wasn’t even over! Because he was also dating a man. And if a dating scandal was already a bad thing, a gay dating scandal was almost a synonym of “you see your career you tried so hard to build? Say goodbye to it. XOXO.” Chan still didn’t know if he had some career suicidal thoughts, and if his boyfriend did as well. Because yes! There was still more, his boyfriend was also an idol. Which had some good, not having to explain why it was very important to not say a word and stay hidden, but it also had some bad, because if it was out, it was over for the both of them and it will probably be the dating scandal of the century. Even more, they were in the same band, which okay, will make some fangirls happy, but he wasn’t sure about the rest of them.  Or to be exact he was sure some fangirls will assassinate him.

“So, Chan, you cannot have it worst then now? It’s impossible” Well it was, random voice in his head number #34. Because his boyfriend was no other than Jun from UNB. Jun from U-KISS. Who was in the exact same situation as him, promoting with his first band and UNB at the same time. Which meant, he was as busy as him. Do you understand random voice number #34? It meant that the last time he saw his boyfriend alone was so long ago he didn’t even remember.

He loved him, and Jun felt the same way, so it wasn’t he did feel unconfident in his relationship with him because believe him when he says that when Jun liked someone, he does anything in his power to make this person understands how he feels. Jun was honest like that. He just missed him a lot. Sure, cute messages and phone calls were great but as cheesy as it sounded he just wanted to kiss him. And hug him. He just missed him.

So when after weeks of being apart, they finally noticed they had some free times at the same moment, being in the same country as well, they jumped on the occasion. Chan just wanted to sleep for hours and Jun probably wanted the same thing, but it was just an opportunity they couldn’t miss. They decided to go to a coffee shop. It was one recommended by Euijin, he praised it, about how discreet they were with their clientele, plus the menu was actually very nice. He also mentioned something about how “love blossom like a rose in a storm in this place” and Chan hoped Euijin will never write anything for UNB. Anyways. Back to his date. Cause yes, he had a date. And just thinking about it made him happy. And when Jun grabbed his hand under the table when they arrived at their table, it meant he was probably as well.

He missed his face. The perfect features which made him the best-looking man in The Unit, his gummy smile he was giving him right now, the way he looked at him, with such softness it made him weak. Jun knew how to makes you feel loved, he was an expressive man, and if you paid enough attention to his face you could see easily all of his emotions dancing on his features, and for such a good actor, he was a terrible liar. But Chan liked him like that. He noticed as well how tired he looked right now. It was easier to see when he was calmer, not running around and making jokes with everyone, he needed rest. They both probably did.

They ordered coffees, both of them, and if you felt like them at this moment,  you’ll probably do the same. They also talked. Talked a lot actually. This was one of the best parts of their relationship if you asked Chan, how they could just talk for hours, holding hands with soft eyes and never get tired of each other. Maybe it was because they didn’t see one another a lot but he just really liked it. And they couldn’t do much more, they were in a public place and as discreet as it was, he didn’t want to take this risk. And even if he missed kissing him, he couldn’t. Maybe at home, the other members didn’t care much but it was just awkward to do things in front of them, they were supportive but seeing your friends kissing wasn’t always something you wanted to witness. Except for Seyong who just didn’t care and kissed Euijin each time he visited as soon as he arrived, but it was Seyong and the world could burn in front of him and he will still give no fucks and kiss him. It was admirable somehow, this behavior. But Chan wasn’t him. And it was time to go. Time to go practice again, time to go back to a normal life without Jun holding his hand. At least he will able to see him an entire day this time before going back to A.C.E schedules, maybe they will be able to kiss later.

They stood up still holding hands and when Yoochan decided to go pay for their coffees, Jun grabbed his shoulders and put him back close to their table, blocking his view from the rest of the coffee shop. He was smiling.

“Hey, Chan.”

And he kissed him. A soft one, fast enough to not get noticed, but slow enough to make him feel something he really needed to. It was a risk. And someone could have seen them, later maybe he will worry about it, but now he was happy. So, when Jun stepped back, he pulled him back to give him a stronger kiss a more passionate one, not as soft as the one Jun gave him, but as fast. And when he stopped they were both smiling.

And perhaps it will be the last time they will be able to kiss like that for a while since sometimes they were even countries apart. But they loved their jobs, and they both understood each other. And if they still had occasions like this one, it was enough. Jun gave him a smile.

“Let’s go, they’re probably waiting for us to start practicing the dance routine.”

Yeah, Chan life was hard. But if he still loved his job, if he still had people he liked to work with, and if he still had Jun soft smiles to come back to, it was worth it.

Life was hard but living it just like this didn’t seem so bad.

Chapter Text

Hojung was angry.

Even worse he was furious. He was boiling from inside. Now don’t get him wrong, he loved his leader, he really did. But what he was doing right now, he wasn’t approving. Daewon wasn’t his. He shouldn’t touch him like that in front of the camera and even when they weren’t there! Nobody should touch him this way. But now it was the case and he saw like a bad dream Feeldog hand getting lower and lower and he bit his cheek in hope to control himself, he shouldn’t go and kills his leader, it wasn’t an appropriate behavior. And why Daewon wasn’t saying anything and was just smiling huh? Did he not notice how not innocent this gesture was? Hojung could see it, the Gwangseok gaze. Nothing friendly about it, it was perverse and deceitful. It wanted the innocence of the littles Daewon around.

…Or he was getting paranoiac, but whatever. He sighed loudly, he had to calm himself. It wasn’t like Daewon was his. Daewon didn’t belong to him. At least, not yet. Because right now, Hojung couldn’t take it anymore. He would have preferred if Daewon was the one to confess first but seeing how the other members were touching him, he knew he was going to lose it.

You will ask, how Hojung could be so sure Daewon liked him as well, well because he wasn’t a stupid oblivious idiot. Let’s say that his “discreet” glances towards were pretty obvious, he was blushing each time Hojung smiled at him, and he was embarrassed each time he was getting out of the shower. Every person on this planet with some brain cells would understand this. And when he did, he was happy, very happy. He just had to wait for Daewon to confess and everything would be perfect. Except, he didn’t expect to wait for him that long. Neither that he would be the victim of his own jealousy.

And the worst thing was he was jealous of all the members. Starting with Marco, who was a good friend of him since basically the start. That wears his ex-band merchandise. That could get really physical with him because they were such close friends. Nothing sexual in all of that but still, it made him crazy how Marco could basically get all over him and touch him that much because he just could. He was getting crazy. And then there was Euijin aka I’m-the-most-tactical-guy-ever. Well, he was a special case, since he was doing this for everyone including himself. But still. Seeing his perverted hands on Daewon butt didn’t make him too happy. The only thing he wanted to do at those moments was to jump on Euijin, which wouldn't be difficult seeing his height, to spread him apart from his glorious bottom, because contrary to Marco who just, and the just was ironic in this sentence, touched it occasionally, Euijin was gripping them like there was no tomorrow. And Daewon let him do it because once again it was Daewon. Even if he was getting sexually harassed by the oldest of their band because excuse him when he says it wasn’t a very “oh I’m just a friend” attitude. Such hypocrisy. And then, there was Kijung. And for him, Hojung felt so bad each time to even think of being jealous. Because Kijung was a pure diamond, the incarnation of innocence. And when he was hugging him because he was tall, he just couldn’t help it. But he was feeling so much remorse each time that it made him a little bit depressed every time. So when he was seeing Kijung getting a bit affectionate, his expressions were a bit strange. And it wasn’t his words, but Jun ones. And Jun had the bad habit of always being way too honest. And sometimes he admits it was good, sometimes he thought he should just shut up.

And there were the teasing duos. The worst of the worst. He named, Yoochan and Jun. And them, he just wanted to kill them badly. Because the others, he could tolerate their actions, vaguely, sometimes if he was in a good mood, and if there was a blue moon in the sky on the third of the month, and well Gwangseok would say the opposite since one day he was getting so jealous that he basically ruined their day and let such a bad atmosphere around him, it was like they just came back from an funeral. And then he had to go to their leader and do the famous talk aka “I have to explain everything to the leader because the leader is here to make our lives easier and to make problems disappear from our life” and even if he was the most stubborn guy on earth if he wanted to, the leader succeeds on getting a confession from him. And after that, Feeldog decided to talk about it to the rest of the band except Daewon. And then the band decided that Hojung was just a guy with too much jealousy tendencies and with a possessive attitude towards a guy who wasn’t even his. And that they will not stop showing their love to the angel of the band just because he was hard to deal with. Well that was Marco, Feeldog, Euijin, Hansol and Kijung state of mind. But for Chan and Jun, who were tactical but not that much at first, decided miraculously to be it, supposedly to “make the bond in their recent band stronger because hey, we should”. The fact that they were doing that just to Daewon was perplexing to say the least. Especially since it wasn’t just simple hugs, oh no no no. Maybe he used this sentence too much until now, but now he meant it. It was sexual harassment. No, but you know, okay, hugs? It was okay, normal. But when they were touching his butt, gripping it, not even like Euijin would, because even if we could question the innocent of the gesture it was still soft, they just did it in a way sometimes it was obscene. And whispering things to his ears that made Daewon blush. BLUSH. And as always, he didn’t say anything. And it made him so mad. He was so furious that each time he saw them, he was seeing red.

“-Can you stop looking at Jun like this? Seriously you’re making me scared Hojung, it looks like you’re going to kill him.”

And their leader wasn’t wrong because it was the case, he was going to kill some Jun today, and he wouldn’t go on any adventures anymore, but he will certainly feel some emotions. Like fright. How dare he be that near to Daewon? To be stuck to him in this way? His Daewon looked embarrassed. He could see it on his face.


Why he wasn’t saying anything?! It made him so crazy. It was him Daewon loved! Not Chan right ?! So Daewon, just pull his hands away from your body for fuck sake! Come on, do something. Make Hojung happy.

“-You look like a mad man, seriously. You know he doesn’t know what you feel for him so I don’t know he should do something.

-…How do you know what I’m thinking about?

-Because I can read it on your face. You’re not discreet, really. I still don’t understand how Daewon doesn’t know because seriously it’s so obvious.

-He shouldn’t let Junyoung touch him like that.

-Did you ever think that maybe he preferred him over you? It’s a possibility.

Not it wasn’t. Daewon liked him, right? He couldn’t get it wrong, especially not for all this time. But…Not that he was mentioning it he started to doubt it. Maybe that everything Junyoung was doing he liked, maybe…Maybe he LIKED him that way. Heh, as if.

“-No it’s impossible Daewon likes me I know it.

-Okay, let’s suppose you’re right. Maybe he wants to make you do something about it?

Hojung arched an eyebrow toward Feeldog.

“-…You’re right, totally not his style.

-Yes, too innocent. Too nice.

-And naive, sometimes.

Hojung sighed once again. Feeldog was right, he should stop being so jealous of everyone and everything. And for that, there was just one way. He had to confess first.  Because apparently Daewon never will do it himself. And it wasn’t like he didn’t throw any signs towards him, but he just…Didn’t understand. And Hojung started getting sick of being the only one who didn’t get any hugs or even just looks because their official angel was too embarrassed to look at him.

“-I made my decision. He said looking determined and started walking towards Jun and Daewon. 

-…What? Hey, don’t leave me like this!”

But the leader was ignored. It was his turn to sigh. It wasn’t good to be the leader in this freaking band, such a bunch of ungrateful kids. Yes, even you Euijin hyung.

Hojung stopped to walk just in front of Daewon, and Junyoung made a teasing face towards him whilst Daewon looked embarrassed. He forced himself to smile and say gently :

« -Daewon, I want to talk to you, it’s important.

-O-oh sure…Can you please let go of me Jun?

-Yes, can you please let go of him?”

Jun was going to say something, probably very intelligent, but he stopped when he saw Hojung expression. He swallowed loudly. Maybe, and he said maybe he went too far this time. But you had to understand him, teasing Hojung, it was so much fun. Especially getting reactions so out of character from him. But right now, he feared for his life. Seriously. Because yes, Hojung was smiling, but you know, the kind of smiles psychopaths does when they’re going to kill their victims. And he felt like he was the victim. So he put off his arm from Daewon, obediently and let him go. To run towards their leader's arms and say something like “Hojung is scaaaaary”. It was far, the image of the beautiful tall charismatic first place of The Unit. Far far away, so far Hojung felt like a fairy tale will start at any moment now.

Hojung took Daewon far away from the rest of them, in Feeldog room. Why? Because it was the only place in this freaking place where he could have some peace. If he wasn’t there of course but since he saw him two minutes ago and he was still in the living room, expect if their leader had some teleportation skills he wasn’t aware of, it should be fine, and oh surprise! He wasn’t here. Hojung finally looked back at Daewon. Daewon who looked just embarrassed. Ah, he was cute. Hojung could look at his face all day.

“-Why are you so embarrassed?


-You look…Stressed out.

-I…It’s just…

-Yes? I’m listening.


Hojung sighed, once again. He thought he could get a confession out of him first. But maybe he really had to do everything himself.

«-Why are you sighing?

-Daewon hyung.


-I-I want to tell you something.”

Come on Hojung what is with the stuttering?

There he said it! Allelujah! He felt good. You know he was afraid to say it first. It was embarrassing. And in his mind, it had to be Daewon to do it first. Oh, how he would love to see it, how his face will blush. And as an answer, he would just have kissed him. And them Daewon, after getting back to his senses, will kiss him back shyly. And then it would have excited him so much he would make love to him immediately.

..Anyways. In the end, it didn’t happen like this, unfortunately.  It was good as well, but he started to seriously get worried about the lack of reaction of Daewon.





 Okay, a kiss will maybe wake him up?

Hojung put gently his lips on Daewon frozen ones. A pleasurable shudder took over his body, it been so long since he was waiting for this. He moved slowly against him, hoping to get a reaction out of him. A reaction that finally, arrived. Daewon surrounded his hands on his neck, with some hesitation and put his body against him.

Let just say the youngest one went to another world. Th only question he asked himself was “why I didn’t do that sooner?” And finally, the moment when they separated themselves from one another, Daewon looked shyly at Hojung and finally that he also liked him.

Let’s just Hojung was happy. There, Daewon was hi, definitively. No more the time where he couldn’t say or do anything to the other members, those perverts without morals where touching him without any remorse. He could so something now, he could say “this is mine so get away now” if it was the leader, maknae, though he will feel bad if he says anything like that to Kijung, perverts, them he will like it, to be short anyone. Everyone.

“Hojung? What it is? Your expression is…Weird."

Do not worry little Daewon, everything will be fine now. Hojung will be able to protect you from the world and its perversion.

“-Nothing, I’m just happy."

And he gave him his perfect stunning smile.

But this perfect moment was interrupted by Hansol. And Jun. To be correct, a Jun putting an Hansol on the wall near the door while kissing him. A hand in his pants. In Gwangseok room, not theirs.

“-Oh my god.”

Oh, no, Hojung was seeing red once again. Why, why, WHY Jun was such a pervert? Nah, because he knew there was something between the two, there were as discreet as Chan when he was calling someone. Not at all. Which made him even angrier, because damn this pervert couldn’t just be happy with Hansol, he also had to touch Daewon every second of his life? Freaking pervert-You should not how the idea that Jun was doing this just to tease never cross his mind-!

This exclamation made our duo stop everything. Jun looked around slowly to be face to face with a Hojung who looked like him with the glare of a murderer. He got the chills. Important, say something intelligent.

“-H-hey Hojung, wassup?"

Jun was so going to die today.

Chapter Text

Marco had a girlfriend, once.

It was when he didn’t really dream of being an idol yet, and where people still called him Hyunggeun, not Marco. Nowadays nobody calls him like that anymore, and sometimes he misses it. Things were much simpler back then. He didn’t have to worry about what adults do, and he could be his mischievous-self way more easily. It was a time when he would go with his friends explore the forests and the mountains wandering through the trees with their dirty clothes and used shoes. It was a time where he started fighting with his parents, because being an adolescent can be hard and sometimes it felt like nobody understood, looking back you know everyone did, but you feel so alone with your feelings that you don’t even notice. It was a time where the only thing he wanted to think about was his dreams and what things he will accomplish later in life. Because it was a time where he tried desperately to believe in his future self. But it was also a time of confusing feelings, a time where love was still something unknown to him and most of his friends, and when they started looking at girls in a way they didn’t before.

For the boy who was still Hyunggeun, it was a time when he noticed that he didn’t look at girls that way, but the way he did at boys was strangely like what his friends did to girls. Now years later Marco know what he is and what was happening back then, but at this moment, he was just a confused mess. And in this whole mess that was his life, there was a boy he looked at from afar. This boy was always smiling, and maybe he wasn’t anything special back then, but to him, he was someone worth looking at. He wasn’t sure why himself, after all, he wasn’t handsome like other men could be, he wasn’t pretty as girls were, and he wasn’t someone he wanted to be friends with. He knew him through other friends, you know, the guy who is friend with your little brother’s friend. The one you know exists, but you never interacted a lot with. The boy was that to Marco.  And each time he was here, each time people talked about him, he listened, he looked. And the Marco from today will know why, but the Hyunggeun from this time just thought that he was an interesting person. The truth is, he probably had a crush on him, how, he wasn’t sure, you don’t really explain crushes, but he knew now that he had one.

The name of the boy was Sunghak. And Sunghak had a girlfriend. And for some reasons, Hyunggeun didn’t like it.

He tried to tell that to his friends, and what they said to him was, that he probably wanted the girl for himself, that she probably was the one he had a crush on. And even if it was weird to him, he never really heard about her and honestly speaking he didn’t think she was pretty. But the thing is, except for that, he didn’t have any reason to not like them being together. Because even thinking about the other possibility wasn’t an option, he just couldn’t. It’s not that he forbade himself to do think about it, he just didn’t. So, he did what he thought he had to do, he tried to get closer to the girl. He didn’t even remember his name until recently. And the closer he did get even before he could try to ponder on what to do with his sudden closeness with her, she asked him out. While never mentioning she had a boyfriend until now. And while it was an attitude he was disgusted by, he said yes because that’s way Sunghak will not be with this girl anymore.

It’s just some months later when he just couldn’t try anymore to love her, to even appreciate her that he understood, at least started to understand. Because admitting to himself he liked boys weren’t something he wanted to do, and it was hard. He wasn’t sure how his family will react, how his friends will if it will affect his future career because it was also the time he started thinking about being a celebrity. Gay people in the entertainment world were rare, and it wasn’t just because gay people were a minority.  And when you start becoming a part of this minority in a country when it still is something seen as a sickness by a lot of people, you wonder if you are not, and you wonder if you even could be happy in the future. So he tried to be happy with his girlfriend, his stolen girlfriend.

It’s when they were eating ice cream together and he saw Sunghak outside looking at them with a heartbroken face that he realized he couldn’t do it anymore. Because yes, the girl was a bad person for doing this to him, but he was the reason it ever happened and for what he heard, Sunghak truly liked this girl, the same he liked him. And that’s when this realization hits him, that he liked him so much he was ready to make him broke up with a girl he himself didn’t like, that’s when he realized he couldn’t be with her anymore because he was miserable, and because he still liked Sunghak, he still was happy looking at him from afar and he still listened intently each time someone mentioned him. And Hyunggeun was gay. He was gay, and he couldn’t be with a girl anymore.

The broke up wasn’t dramatic. They were young and didn’t like each other, for the girl it was just a way to try things out, and for Marco, he was just with her because it was better than her being with Sunghak. Everything in their relationship was doomed from the beginning and even if she didn’t know why for him, she knew it as well.

From then, his life was better. Not the best it could be, he was still hiding his sexuality to most people, it took him years to say it to his parents, and even more for his parents to come around. But it happened. Because as much as they fought, as much as he was resentful, and as much as they couldn’t understand, they were still family. He became a trainee and then an idol and he lost track of the boy with a pretty smile and nice glasses. He would say he forgot, but you never forgot your first love. And then, The Unit happened. And he saw him once again.

Sunghak looked at him at the audition and smiled. Later, he came to him saying that maybe he didn’t know but they had friends in common and if he would like, they could be friends themselves. And Marco was Hyunggeun once again. He had a girlfriend once. But more importantly, his first love used to have the same girlfriend.

 And while looking at him fondly trying his best to become his friend this time, he couldn’t help but think that definitively, you can’t forget your first love.

Chapter Text

Jun was someone you could easily get jealous of.

First of all, he was handsome, with big round eyes double eyelids, full lips, smooth skin and just perfect features overall, not a thing could be seen as ugly on his face, and even the little scar on his cheek was beautiful itself. It was quite unfair if you ask Kijung.

Second, he was tall. And not just Korean tall, but international just try to look into my eyes you shorties tall. And Kijung wasn’t small, he was 182cm tall after all, not that bad of a gap between them, but still combined with his perfect face it was unfair.

Third, he was just a perfect performer all around. He could sing, dance, rap, have the stage presence of a god and he was just a good entertainer. He was the perfect idol that every agency in Korea dreamed to have and didn’t have. And well, Kijung guesses that a lot of insecure idols about their own skills could be jealous of him, he knew he was sometimes. Anyone had just to look at him to wish to be him so just knowing a bit about his skills was probably enough to make people so envious they wanted him to disappear. But they didn’t, because most people who met Jun didn’t hate him.

Cause fourth, he was just one of the most perfect social butterfly that god ever created. Everyone loved him. Because of his gummy smile, his friendly personality and how easy-going he was as a person. Sometimes it truly was infuriating how you couldn’t even hate him but that’s how it was. Nobody hated Jun cause hating him was almost a crime against humanity.

Fifth, he was a kind-hearted person. You may think that all the crying he did on The Unit was just for the show, but no. Jun truly was someone who can cry easily who get attached to people in the same manner. Everyone loved him, and Jun loved every person back. He had that much of a big heart. Truly, Kijung didn’t find to this day a person who hated him, that didn’t even care about him, and the worst part was that he wasn’t surprised by this.

So yeah. Jun was someone you could easily get jealous of, and Kijung was no exception, except he didn’t have the same reasons as everyone else.

Cause sixth, if everyone loved Jun and he loved everyone back, there was still a place in his heart for a lover, a special one. One who would love him more than anyone else and that he will love as much, cause Kijung didn’t see how a relationship with Jun could go otherwise. Sixth, Jun has a lover. Sixth, this person was someone Kijung in his young heart loved as well. Sixth, Euijin loved Jun more than anyone else could ever love him. Sixth, Euijin was Jun lover. And Kijung loved one.

He wondered sometimes if he was too obvious about it. When his eyes didn’t leave his small hyung for too long he could almost feel Hansol eyes pitying him in the back. When he smiled too brightly finally being able to hug him he could feel Gwangseok worried eyes on him. When he watched Jun doing everything he wished to do with Euijin in front of him, he could see Hojung sad smiles directed at him, as if he was trying to cheer him up. Spoiler alert, it didn’t work.

The worst part was he was pretty sure Jun knew about it. Sometimes he could see Jun giving him small smiles when he was Euijin, and it was driving him crazy because in all his glory Jun couldn’t even be a jealous person, he couldn’t even be just a bit uncomfortable with his lover with someone who clearly adored him. No, because Jun was perfect of course. It somehow left him with a bitter taste in his mouth.

He wished he hadn’t fallen for Euijin, but how could he not? With perfect and kind smiles, a cute face even for his age, nice personality, and even better dance moves. Everyone fell for him in the show and he wasn’t an exception. Euijin just had to look at him one day with kind eyes and he was already done for.

He knew what Jun had and that he didn’t. He already listed everything above, and he had, even more, one of those things was probably that Euijin did look at him this way at one point or another, he could see it even before anyone else did because he loved him this way as well. He could see the admiring glances and the small steps he did to get closer, he could recognize all of that because he did it himself. But contrary to him with Euijin, Jun looked back. Kijung got his first heartbreak at seventeen.

The second thing Jun got that he didn’t, was probably his age. He and Euijin were just seven years apart, and while it was a big gap, compared to his eleven years with him, it was nothing. He also was an adult, something that Kijung wasn’t, he was over twenty, something he wasn’t as well. And maybe it was the biggest factor in all of that, Euijin will never ever try to look at him this way, never will ever think of it, because he was too young. Heck, Euijin was probably the only one who didn’t notice anything because he couldn’t even fathom that maybe just maybe the youngest could ever have romantic feelings towards him.

He didn’t blame Euijin for not noticing, it was a good thing, and honestly, before Jun he already knew that he didn’t have a chance. But he thought “When I will be older, when I will be older then, maybe...” and he truly believed it. Because he was young and had time to analyze what Euijin liked, and he could become the type of man he liked. Apparently, he liked perfection and that, Kijung couldn’t become.

No, he couldn’t become Jun. And will never be able to be with Euijin. He could just look from afar his hyung being happy with someone else, and try to be happy with it, because it probably was what kind of adult Euijin will like, and if he could at least become an adult that Euijin will appreciate as a friend, then maybe it was enough. His kind hyung who just deserved perfection and got it. Maybe one day, years later he will be able to talk about these past feelings for him with Euijin and laugh about it, as adults will do, and he hoped someday in a closer future he will be able to look into Jun's eyes not feeling guilty as if he committed a sin. Until then, he will just try to be happy hugging Euijin. He will try to not disappoint his other hyungs with his feelings. He will try to make this band successful without thinking about them. And then maybe between two very busy schedules, his feelings will go away as fast as they came, and he will be able to move on, as an adult will do.

For now, he is just too young to love.

Chapter Text

To say Euijin was nervous would be a lie. Terrified would be more accurate.

Euijin always had confidence in his social skills, he wasn’t the most easy-going person on the planet, but he was pretty chill and had a good smile that made people at ease around him. He wouldn’t say he was the most social person on earth, but he has enough skills to make people go “hey this guy seems nice!” while looking at him smiling on a picture. And it was enough for him.

But if he had known earlier in his life that his social skills and smiles will lead him to his current situation, he probably would have decided to be a shutdown and never left his home.

“So, you’re trying to tell me that one of your college friends saw one of the pictures we took together on your phone, fell for my smile, and now is begging you every day to arrange a date between me, you’re seven years older brother, and him. Did I get this right Yoochan?”

 “Yes. So please, accept. This is getting so annoying Euijin hyung. Please. Accept. I can’t take it anymore.”

Euijin looked skeptically as his brother throwing himself on their parents’ couch in a dramatic fashion. This was ridiculous, this friend couldn’t be THAT annoying, right?

“Come on, you’re exaggerating, I’m sure he just thought I was cute once and now you’re making a big deal out of it.” Chan scoffed.

“Hyung, you’re not the one who has to deal with his freaking whining every day. Seriously, I’m here to learn how to sing, not to hear someone screaming in my ears how lucky I am to have the prettiest older brother in the world.”

Euijin would have felt offended by the disgusting face Chan just made, but then he remembered he probably would have reacted the same way if anyone dared to tell him his little brother was cute. More like the devil personified in the body of a baby-faced boy. Disgusting.

Euijin sighed at the sight of his little brother complaining on the couch “Didn’t you tell him I was way older than you?” Chan groaned. “I did. I swear, I fucking did hyung. Did you know what this dumbass said?”

“…No?” Chan looked at him with such intensity, Euijin thought for a second his brother was possessed. “He said it made you even cuter because such an old man in such a small body was the cutest” Chan made a pause as if the next words he was going to say were hard to even pronounce, “fluffiest thing in the world. It made things worse hyung. I can’t anymore. Accept. Just one date, for him to see how terrible and lame you actually are and then I can go back to my normal life.”

And then he went back to hit his head against the couch’s pillows and scream as if this thing was that bad. Euijin was…Confused. He didn’t know if he was flattered because one of his brother’s friends find him that cute, happy because this said friend was annoying his brother that much and that always was a good thing, annoyed because he wasn’t old, thank you very much. Twenty-eight was a perfectly fine young age, or offended, cause hey, he wasn’t lame.

Honestly, just for saying that, he wanted to say “no” to the date, just to see his little brother suffering a bit more, it would make him learn respect toward his elders for once. But then he saw how this said brother was desperate for him to go. And his brother seemed really tired like it was really something he was fed up with.

So, well, maybe Euijin always had a secret, not so secret, soft spot for his brother. And maybe he really didn’t like seeing him that much tired. But maybe.

A sigh. “Sure, okay I’ll go.”

If you asked him, it was just because he didn’t go on a date for a while, not because his little brother big smile after that was worth every sacrifice in the world. Not at all.


And so that’s how he found himself in this situation. Terrified. With one of the most attractive men he ever had the chance to meet. On a date. While the said man was giving him the most beautiful, attractive, cute smile he ever had the chance to get.

Euijin was already having a gay panic attack, and the guy arrived in the café Chan set their date in, a minute ago. And then he walked towards him and that’s probably the moment when Euijin’s world crashed down.

When Euijin asked Chan for what he looked like, he didn’t give him anything, telling him it was better if he didn’t see him because that’s what his friend, Junyoung as he learned his name later, preferred him not to. Euijin thought maybe the guy was shy and not confident in his looks but damn if it was the case then who was supposed to be confident?

When Euijin saw the guy finally sitting down on in front of him, he regretted not preparing himself better for this date. Sure, he dressed up a bit, but not enough for the Apollon that was the guy facing him. To be fair, it was just supposed to be a small date, and really, he didn’t expect to find his type of guy, though he guessed this Junyoung was everyone type of guy.

And now the guy was smiling even harder and Euijin didn’t know what to do except a little rictus that was supposed to be a smile but looked more like an ugly grimace. It didn’t seem to bother Junyoung because he smiled even more if it was possible.

“Hi! I’m Junyoung. I’m really happy you agreed to this date.”

And if it wasn’t enough, even his talking voice was attractive. Why the world was this unfair.

“Oh…Hi, I’m Euijin.” Euijin really tried to smile, he really did, he promised. But he was still having a gay panic attack, and gay panic attacks tend to not make you smile. They make you hot, they make you nervous and without a doubt panicky, but not smiley. Not at all. Far from it.

When Chan asked him for this favor, he could have told him, “by the way, do you see the guys in all those magazines who are super-hot and very much not what you can get? Yeah, that’s my friend.” But no. He just said, “He’s fine, I guess.” He didn’t know if his brother was too heterosexual, or too blind. Either way, he hated him.

Though, Junyoung didn’t seem too bothered by Euijin’s awkwardness. He just looked…Happy. As if having a date with him, was actually such a good thing. It was mind-blowing, somehow.

“Sorry, I didn’t prepare much for this. I should have. But you know, when Yoochan told me you accepted I kind of forgot everything else, thank you for giving me a chance.”

“Oh, huh, you’re welcome. I’m actually very surprised you wanted a date in the first place.”

Jun frowned, “How come? You’re very pretty. I’m sure people ask you out often. I was the one surprised you didn’t have already someone.”

Euijin wanted to scream. This was too much, way too much. Was this an elaborate prank set up by his brother?

“Ah, no, people don’t do this that much. Thank you, I guess? And just like, you don’t know me much, so I didn’t know what attracted you in the first place.”

And Jun’s eyes got even brighter, as if the reason he chooses Euijin out of everyone else in the world, was the most interesting subject ever. This was ridiculous. How Euijin was supposed not to fell.

“Well when I saw your pic in Chan’s phone, I was just like, ‘this is the prettiest man I’ve ever seen and wow this smile’ so I asked Chan who you were, he told me you were his older brother. And I was surprised because you didn’t look older? And then he told me you were SEVEN years older and, wow, hyung you don’t look like it. Give me your secret later.”

His secret was not knowing what he was doing 24/7, worked well for the skin apparently.

“And then Chan gave me some of your dancing videos, you know with your crew.”

Oh no.

“And you were so good? Chan told me he learned a bit of dancing with you when he was younger and wow. You’re so good hyung. You’re so amazing hyung. I…Just like so much already, I’m so happy.”

Yup, Euijin was dying. Junyoung had a shy smile on his face while Euijin didn’t know if he should scream or cry, so he decided to just freeze. He was bad at this.

“Well. Thank you. You’re…Very handsome yourself.” Jun beamed at that, “I could invite you to a show one day if you really liked it.”

He would never hear the end of it if he came, Seyong will probably tease him until the end of time while Gwangsuk will try at first to be nice but probably will join him just after. It’s okay, he didn’t fear Satan and the gnome. That’s what he tried to tell himself at least.

“Really?! Of course, I want to! I can learn a thing or two just by watching you dancing hyung! Thank you so much for letting me” well to be fair his performances were opened to the public, it wasn’t like he gave him access to some kind of secret underground scene, “would it be our second date?”



Jun was giving him a little teasing smile as if he dared him to say no.

And well.

Euijin didn’t want to say no for now.

“Let’s see if this one goes well, then maybe we can talk about it” It was his time to smile for real this time. And Jun stared at him, his eyes wide-opened.

“Ah, really, hyung has the prettiest smile of them all.”

But Jun didn’t let Euijin process what he just said because he switched subject as fast as this sentence left his mouth.

Overall, it had been a pretty good date. Jun was funny, handsome, loved making him laugh, which wasn’t hard, Euijin wasn’t very hard to make laugh, to begin with, and the coffee was good. But mostly, Euijin found that Jun, probably was, with the most attractive man of all time, one of the sweetest people as well. He learned about his love for his older brothers, he learned about how passionate he was about everything he did, and how he wanted to be good at everything. He learned that he was very confident in his looks, and how he liked to tease in the softest way possible. He learned he liked to cook, even though he wasn’t that great at it. He learned all of that and even more, and Euijin was falling even more with each word he was saying.

Saying no to a second date was getting harder, and quite frankly, Euijin didn’t want to.

But at one point, this one had to end, so it did, without being a bit disappointing on Euijin’s hand. They left the shop, and Jun insisted on going with him to his apartment.

“This is normal hyung. Don’t feel bad.”

Well, he wasn’t feeling bad, he was just wondering when did ten years of life went, and why was he a high schooler again. But again, why not.

The journey to get back to his home was short, after all Chan chooses this location because it was close to his apartment, and that’s why Euijin didn’t understand at first why Jun wanted to escort him back home so much, until they finally arrived, and Jun decided to do the most cliché thing in the books.

He kissed him.

On the cheek.

So, it was fifteen years of his life someone threw in a ditch because he was back in middle school now. Seriously.

So Euijin just did the most logical thing to finally get back his lost fifteen years. He grabbed him behind the neck, pushed his face closer to his. When their faces finally were so close he could almost touch his nose with his one, then he smiled again.

“This is how you’re supposed to do it.”

And then he kissed him, this time on the lips.

It wasn’t intense, it was just soft, lips against lips, and it didn’t last. But it was enough for Euijin to confirm that yes, this second date was totally happening.

Not at one of his performance though, he didn’t want to deal with the demons that he called his friends for now.

When they separated, Jun looked a bit confused by everything, as if he didn’t expect it to happen at all, but he came across as happy, and that was mattered the most to Euijin.

“See you Junyoung, thank you for the date it was nice. I’ll contact you for the second one.”

Jun didn’t have time to say anything than Euijin closed his door on him, still smiling.

When Euijin throws himself on his couch this day, he was still smiling. It had been a good date, after all, nothing like Yoochan predicted.

Euijin smiled again.

Well, at least he will still have something to bother his brother with. He couldn’t wait.