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If you can’t have the real thing…

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Every year for every holiday, Bucky and his roommate, a.k.a. best friend, Natasha, would spend every celebration day together, watching stupid romcoms with junk food. Christmas, birthdays and even Valentine’s Day. Not because they couldn’t find a date- on the contrary. But simply because they couldn’t be bothered with romance. Well, that was when Nat wasn’t called in for work, being the Black Widow and all, they never knew if she’d be at home for their traditions or not.

They met six years ago, when Bucky happened to work at the coffee shop she frequented. Not that he knew who she was when they met. She’d always come in with her civilian clothes, and Bucky would always serve her like every other costumer. They’d do small chat, joking here and there but that was about it. Maybe he would’ve shrieked, -okay, most likely- if he knew who she was but he was more into Marlon Brando, classic rock bands and Harry Potter than superheroes. He knew little about them. Well, he only knew that they were living in a certain tower, but he never tried to know more like most freaks in New York. Bucky always changed the channel when reporters talked about them, because ugh, shut up! Boring.

It was on a sunny day, when he had been at work, that he heard a group of teenage girls squealing together as they waited for their coffee.

“Captain America? Are you sure? He just came out of the ice…” One of them said in a suspicious tone.

“I touched his hand, I swear!” Another exclaimed making all the others gasp. “And believe me, his pecs are even bigger in real-” they all giggled. Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Here’s your coffee, girls.” He forced a smile on his face, wanting them gone as quickly as possible. He was tired. He wanted to go home and take a shower and masturbate to Marlon Brando. Yeah, that was a plan.

Hours later, he had been about to close the shop when a redhead walked in wearing what seemed like a- was it leather? Black suit. Very tight, showing off all the beautiful curves of her body.

“Girl, you look soooo mean.” The gay in you is showing, James. “Where did you get that suit? I want one!”

That made the woman laugh and only then did he realize who she was. A regular.

“Nat? Oh my god! What the hell are you doing dressed like that?”

“Huh… I’m wearing my work’s suit.” She raised both eyebrows, staring at Bucky as if he had been the one that just walked in wearing a BDSM suit. “I didn’t have the time to get changed yet.”

“Work, she says!” He barked a laugh making the woman frown now. “What kind of work would request you dressing like a dominatrix?”

“I’m not- Wait, do I look like- Jesus… Never mind. I’m the Black Widow, dumbass.”

Black what- what?

That’s how Bucky learned about Natasha and the whole Black Widow thing. Over the weeks they became close friends. Bucky never once asking about her job because he really didn’t care about superheroes. Unless it was really necessary, because for all he didn’t care about superheroes, he cared very much about Natasha. So, the few times he’d notice a bruise on her or when she’d be too tired but too polite to refuse a selfie or an autograph, Bucky would simply ask the crowd to get off of her, bring her the biggest coffee and something sweet to eat. Natasha, from her point of view, was enjoying the fact that she could make a friend, a real friend that didn’t use her for her fame.

Months later, they moved in together.

“You’re the only normal thing in my life. I need to move out of the Tower, I’ll go crazy in there everything is too much-”

Bucky shut her up with a hug. The same night, they looked for an apartment to share in New-York.

Two weeks later they were moving in together.

4 years later, they had their small traditions.


“How come you never told me you worked with this Greek God???” Bucky shoved his iPad against her chest. A mask of utter disbelief on his face.

They were lazying on their sofa. Both enjoying a day off work. Natasha was laying back, her legs on Bucky’s thighs, as she read a book. Bucky was going through his Facebook, scrolling with no real aim until he found an article with Natasha’s picture on it. Curious, because it was about his best friend, Bucky opened said article to read it.

He snorted when he read the title ‘Is Black Widow Dating America’s Darling?’ And now, he was curious to know who that guy is.

He shouldn’t have been curious. The guy Natasha was rumored to date is a beauty. Like really a walking wet-dream of his.

Captain America. He could’ve sworn he’d heard it somewhere before.

Nat wasn’t dating him, she would have told him otherwise, right? That’s what best friends do. They tell each other these sorta things.

Natasha didn’t even blink at the harsh (accidental) way Bucky had shoved the iPad to her. She simply finished reading the page she was on, let out a sigh, marked her page and put her book down before she decided to take the iPad and read what it said.

“Are you dating him?” Bucky asked with a frown. He’d be hurt if she had been hiding it from him.

“Oh please, this is bullshit. I had to kiss him because we were undercover. Some girl probably recognized us and snapped the picture.”

What picture???

Bucky should’ve read the whole article.

Snitching the iPad from her, his eyes widened at said picture.

“Jesus Christ. This is-”

“Babe, I’d tell you if I was dating someone. Steve is like a brother to me. He saved my life once and, that’s it. I owe him.”

Bucky decided to drop the subject, nodding at his friend.

It was the start of his huge crush on Captain America.


“Please! I want to meet him! He’s like the man of my dreams, Nat.” Bucky begged, with mastered puppy eyes.

“Oh honey, Steve- he’s not…” Natasha sighed, trying to find her words. “He’s dating a girl. A SHIELD agent, her name is Sharon.”

“I’m not jealous.” He was jealous. That bitch! “I could-”

“I don’t think he buys what you’re selling, babe. He’s from the World War two, remember?”

“Did he tell you that? And are you assuming there were no gay people back then, Nat? Homosexuals walk on Earth ever since the very beginning.”

“Bucky, I’m a spy, I can read people.”

That was enough to make him drop the subject.


“Can I just meet him? I won’t do anything stupid. Promise.”

“Alright, I’ll get you to meet him.”



He did meet him. And the rest of the team but he did meet Captain America!

Bucky was literally trembling like a sheet when he stood next to Natasha at the Avengers tower, his eyes round and unblinking as he stared up at Captain America in all his mother effin’ glory. Fuck but, he’s even prettier without the suit. He’s just… Steve Rogers. And God that smile! And- … and his eyes! So blue. So fucking blue.

“I’m gonna pass out, Nat.” he muttered to his friend when Steve briefly looked behind him, loosing his smile for a second, before forcing another one on his face. A fake one, Bucky could tell.

A blonde woman showed up next to Steve, reaching up to cup his cheeks and pulling him down to kiss his lips hard.


That’s the girlfriend.



“What do you want for your birthday this year?” Nat asked two weeks before Bucky turned 31.

“Steve Rogers’s dick with a pretty red ribbon wrapped around said dick’s head.” He said before he could think better on it and stop himself from blurting out the words.

That made Natasha laugh so loud and Bucky smiled. Natasha was always so serious, he was glad to be probably the only person that could make her be herself and laugh so freely.



It was March 10th.

Bucky was laying on the sofa, eyes on ‘Love Actually’, hand shoved in a huge tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream, occasionally bringing the spoon to his mouth.

“I thought Love Actually was strictly for Christmas.” Nat said from somewhere behind him.

“Yeah, but… I felt like watching it.” Bucky sniffed, always a sensitive asshole for romcoms. “You know… the purest love in this move is-”


“Sam and his stepdad, I know… You say it every year.” Nat appeared in front of him, she was smiling carefully and reaching out to wipe away his tears with her fingers.

She was stunning. Wearing a black Chi Chi London dress that she had bought earlier that week with Bucky’s help. Her red hair fell in loose curls over her chest. Her makeup was simple, sophisticated. A line of black eyeliner above the lashes of her top lids and a matte red lipstick on her lips. She smelled wonderfully good too. It was the perfume he had bought her for Christmas: Black Opium. A fine choice, and he was glad he had the stylish genes along with the gay ones.

“You’re sure you’ll be okay?” She asked softly, worry in her eyes.

“I’ll be fine, Nat. You go and have fun. I promise I’ll be okay.” She didn’t seem convinced, so Bucky forced himself in a sitting position and smiled at her. “Hey,” he cupped her cheeks in his hands. “You’re stunning. Look at you.” That made her smile, but he continued anyway. “How long have you had a crush on him? And don’t look at me like that, I know what you’re going to say. No Bucky, it’s not a crush, love is for children blablabla look at me, I’m Natasha, I don’t do love.”

“I don’t speak like that.” She glared at him before they both burst out laughing.

“Go, and tell Clint if he dares break your heart, superhero or not, I’ll find him and shove my knife up his ass so deep, he would be dead before he knows how good it is to have something shoved up-”

“Okay- that’s my cue to leave. Here’s your gift.” She handed him a box and he didn’t even wait a second longer before he was ripping the wrapping paper off.

“What is it??” Stupid question since he was about to find out and Natasha’s pointed look clearly said so. “Sorry.” He chuckled, throwing the destroyed wrapping carelessly on the floor.

When Bucky’s grey eyes stared unblinkingly at the box in his hands, they slowly grew comically wide and his lips parted. Looking from the box to Natasha and back again, he finally reacted by laughing. So loud, tears were forming in the corner of his eyes.

“Oh my god!” he whizzed, still unable to stop laughing. “I can’t- I can’t believe you!”

Natasha was grinning like the little shit she is. “I figured since you can’t have the real thing…”

“It’s a fucking- Oh my god! A fucking Captain America vibrator!” Wiping the tears away, he put the box down and stood up to hug her, his laugh turning to small chuckles. “You’re the best!”

“I know.” She smacked his ass and winked. “I have to go before I’m late, you’re sure-”

“Yes, Nat.” Bucky nodded, smiling down at her. “I’ll be okay. Go!”

She kissed his cheek and left, promising she wouldn’t come back late to which he responded, ‘Shut up and get some dick in you.’



He said he would be fine, but he was a little bit hurt to be alone on his birthday. When Nat had told him the week before that Clint had asked her on a date, Bucky had been so happy and instantly suggested they go shopping. That was before Nat smiled stiffly, clearly nervous about saying more because Bucky could see there was more to be said.

“Babe… it’s on Saturday. That’s the only day we both are free of work.”

“So?” Bucky quickly asked but just as quickly realized what she was saying.


It was on his birthday.

The happiness he had felt for her instantly vanished and made the smile on his face disappear. Fuck Clint Barton for taking Natasha away on his birthday! And fuck Nat for accepting that Clint Barton takes her away on his birthday! Still, he forced back a smile and nodded.

“That’s- yeah, that’s fine… Really. I’ll make other plans.” The only plans he could possibly make now was a shit ton of romcoms, ice cream and tissues for the many tears that were to come.

And here he is, following his plans. Alone on his birthday and yelling at Rose (he was now watching Titanic) for being a little whiny rich bitch. Jack deserved better. Jack should have dated his friend, Fabrizio.

He had to turn the tv off before the end of the movie because he couldn’t stand watching this movie when he was already in so much pain.

Bucky blew out his nose, wiped away more tears and sighed as he leaned back on the sofa.

“Happy Birthday, to meeee.” He sang sarcastically.

He reached for his cigarettes and as he smoked, he wondered how Nat’s date was going. He might be hurt as hell, but he still hoped she was having a good time. Natasha never showed much interest in anyone before and it’d do her good to have someone in her life, aside from him. Bucky was sure they could have loved each other and have a good relationship if he wasn’t, you know, into dicks as much as he was. Natasha would have been good for him and vise versa, he honestly believed they were soulmates anyway. Friendship soulmates did exist, and they were the proof of that fact.

On the other side of the couch, his birthday present was there, still in the box.

Well, might as well try it out. As Nat said… ‘If you can’t have the real thing’

Bucky crushed the cigarette bud in the ashtray before he reached out for his present.

At least it will take his mind off his lonely birthday.

He stood up and made his way to his bedroom because he wasn’t going to masturbate on the sofa that he shared with his best friend.

Once inside, he quickly stripped off his clothes and grabbed his laptop before he lay on his bed, propping the pillows under his head until he was comfortable.

Ever since he started this little crush on Steve Rogers, his porn research turned out very specific. Always beefy blondes fucking slender men with dark hair so this time it was no different. He bent his knees and put his laptop on his thighs as he opened pornhub and for once, he could watch without his headphones on. Not that it was a problem, Natasha caught him watching porn more times than he’d like to admit, and she even told him once that gay sex turned her on but still, it was always a little bit awkward to have your best friend walking in on you when you’re watching porn and about to take care of your boner.

He found a video that he thought would help him in his fantasy and started it after closing the undesired tabs that popped up.

In the video, beefy blond walked in on slender dark-haired man as he was in the shower, already supporting a huge boner. Beefy blond watched, hand reaching inside his sweatpants and starting to stroke himself to hardness.

“Ugh!” Bucky rolled his eyes and stopped the video. Why was porn always so predicable?

With a frustrated sigh, he clicked the search bar. He wanted something different, something-

His lips parted, and the tip of his tongue rolled over his bottom lip as he searched instead for some light bondage. It took him some time, but he was able to find one with a kind of muscly blond dominating a dark-haired guy. The video instantly started with the both of them already doing some foreplay. Dark-haired guy was on his knees, wrists restrained on his back while beefy blond was fucking his mouth slowly, one big hand tugging on the other’s hair.

Bucky had to take in a deep breath when his lungs begged for it because he hadn’t realized that he had been holding in his breath as he watched the video unblinkingly. Already blood was rushing south and making his dick grow bigger and thicker. Beefy blond groaned, and Bucky shuddered, briefly closing his eyes as he imagined Steve doing the same to him. He imagined being on his knees, taking all of Steve’s cock down his throat and he’d gag but still force himself still, tears would build in the corner of his eyes and he’d be turning red from the lack of oxygen until Steve finally, slowly pulled out and Bucky would gasp for air and cough but he’d be so happy because he’d see how proud Steve would be on top of him.

He pushed his laptop aside, not needing the video any longer but left it on anyway because their noises were doing things to him. Bucky closed his eyes again and slowly moved his fingers down his stomach. He could picture Steve- he’d be on top of him, kissing and nibbling at his skin, leaving light marks and wet trails behind.

He finally reached his cock and wrapped his fingers around it. It was hot to the touch, heavy and already leaking. He tugged at it once and whimpered. He moved his free hand to his lips and sucked on two fingers, coating them with saliva as he stroked his cock more firmly.

He didn’t want to waste much time in this. He had all night to enjoy himself but right now he really just needed to come. So, he moved his now wet fingers between his opened legs right under his balls and stroked at his hole before pushing a finger slowly inside. Unconsciously, he stopped stroking his dick as he concentrated more on the feeling of his finger entering inside him inch by inch till the second knuckle.

“Fuck,” he curled his finger inside, but he needed more. He slowly pulled back and added his second finger, his other hand remembering that it had to keep touching his cock. Being stimulated from both his cock and asshole was his own kind of heaven. Bucky let his head fall back on his pillows and let out a moan when both his fingers got deep inside him.

‘Look at your little greedy ass, babe. So desperate for my cock.’ Beefy blond said in the video and Bucky’s heart slammed in his chest when he imagined Steve saying it instead. Saying it to him.

“Oh my god, yes!” Bucky all but whimpered, eyes closed tight as he fucked up into his fist and back down on his fingers. He was panting loudly, and he needed that vibrator inside him asap because he was already so close.

He blinked his eyes open and slowly pulled his fingers out, wiping them on his bedsheets before he reached for his wonderful present and the lube on his bedside table. He quickly coated it and pressed the button to turn it on. He bit his lip excitedly when it came to life and sent like shocks all the way up his right arm.

Oh, I’m so gonna enjoy this. Thanks Nat!

Bucky lay down once more and spread his legs wider. Left hand holding up his balls as the other one moved the vibrator down his perineum. His eyes rolled back, and a loud moan escaped his lips at the feeling.

This was good. This was so good!

He slowly moved it lower and when he reached his hole he didn’t push it inside at first. Instead, he let the tip of the vibrator dance along his fluttering muscle and already his legs were shaking. He let go of his balls and brought his index finger to his mouth, biting on it as he finally pushed the vibrator inside and his whole body turned to jelly.

“Oh fuck. Fuck. Fuck-”

A door slammed open.


Bucky’s eyes snapped opened and-

“Shit. Sorry! Oh God… I- I thought…”

Bucky pulled the vibrator out of him so fast he gasped at the pain he felt from it.


Steve motherfucking Rogers is in his bedroom.

Bucky pulled the covers quickly over himself to hide his naked body and leaking erection.

He was mortified. Steve stood there, wearing a dark suit that honestly made him look so fucking hot, how is life fair. He was as red as a tomato and he seemed like he was glued to the floor.

Bucky wanted to die.

“Oh my god, is that-” Bucky followed Steve’s eyes and- yep. He wanted to die right now because Steve was looking at his precious Captain America vibrator and never in his life had he been more embarrassed before-

‘Yes, fuck me harder! Please.’

‘Yeah babe, I’ll give it to you so good.’

Tears built up in his eyes and he couldn’t even control them. This was the most horrible birthday ever! He just wanted to cry in a corner and get fat on ice cream and never leave his apartment ever again.

He quickly reached for his laptop and slammed it shut. His whole body was trembling, and he had to sniff and blink hard to stop his tears from falling.

“Please… get out…” he muttered not looking at Steve.

When Steve looked at him though and saw the state Bucky was in, he made a step towards the bed and Bucky flinched back making the blond freeze.

“Okay… I’ll wait outside. I, I’m so sorry Bucky… I didn’t mean to barge in but, I thought you were getting hurt or something I- fuck I’m so sorry. I’ll be waiting. Out there. I’m sorry.” The blond sighed and after only three seconds of pure silence between them, he finally decided to turn and leave the room, slowly closing the door behind him.

Bucky sat there mortified, thinking that maybe he had probably killed someone or something just as bad in his previous life to deserve something like this in his current one. He didn’t want to move, he didn’t want to get dressed- but Steve fucking Rogers said he’d be waiting. Of course, he’d be waiting. He’d want to talk about this. And what was Steve fucking Rogers doing his apartment anyway? Well, now that made no sense and crush or not, superhero or not, Steve just barged in like he owned the place when Hello! No one does that.

Frustrated Bucky pushed the covers off his body and stood up to put on his Harry Potter dressing grown because well I already made a fool of myself so what the fuck- and walked out of his bedroom barefoot. Sure enough, Steve stood right in the hallway, body stiff. He tried to smile carefully at Bucky, but it wasn’t reciprocated.

“You could’ve made yourself at home. Get yourself a drink, all that jazz. You had no problem barging in anyway so-”

“I’m really sorry.” Steve muttered, and oh my god he was blushing. “I heard- I mean… I really thought you were getting hurt. In my defense, I did knock on the front door but you- um… didn’t hear.”

No shit.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“Uh, yeah… Nat told us it was your birthday- happy birthday by the way. And um, since she’s out on a date she told us you’d be alone… so Tony uh, said we needed to take you out. He’s waiting… downstairs.”

“Nope, he’s here. What’s taking so long?” another voice said from the living room and not even two seconds later, Tony Stark, wearing a red suit appeared in the hallway. “Hey sweetheart.” He winked at Bucky. “Nice dressing grown but, get your ass changed please. We need to get this party started. Need help getting dressed?”

Don’t ask how it happened but ever since Nat introduced him to the Avengers, Tony had instantly liked Bucky and vice versa. They became buddies, flirting here and there and Bucky was fascinated by Tony’s genius. The guy really was the smartest man in probably the whole country.

“Why didn’t Nat tell me anything?” Bucky was frowning. Because it could’ve saved him from getting embarrassed just minutes ago in front of his crush.

“Oh my god, why are we still standing here?” Tony huffed like an impatient child. “We wanted it to be a surprise. Now please go get dressed. Something, hot and sophisticated.” And okay, they were both wearing suits… Bucky wanted to ask where exactly they were going but he was afraid if he asked more right now and didn’t get a move on to get dressed, Tony would force him into his room and actually dress him himself.

“Alright, I’ll-” He gestured to his door.

“Yeah, you do that. I’ll look around and see if there’s anything worth to drink- Cap, stop standing there blushing like a twelve-year-old girl and help me.”

Bucky didn’t even look at Steve, he didn’t want to make this even more embarrassing for them both, so he simply walked back to his bedroom and slammed the door closed behind him. He needed to get dressed quickly before Tony made a mess of his apartment. Unfortunately, he didn’t own a suit so a simple pair of black slacks (that hugged his thighs and ass perfectly) and a navy blue button-down shirt will have to do.

When Bucky walked out of his bedroom dressed in the best clothes he owned, he joined the two superheroes in his living room. Tony was standing by the tv, a glass of what looked like whisky- he didn’t even know they owned whiskey, in his hand and scrunching his nose at every sip he took. Steve stood by the door, body straight and stiff, both hands in the pockets of his expensive pants.

“Ready.” He announced upon entering the room.

Both looked at him instantly.

“Well, I was about to tell you to put on a suit,” Tony started, tilting his head as he let his eyes roam appreciatively over Bucky’s body “but you do look hot dressed like that, doesn’t he Cap?”

A deep blush spread all over Steve’s face.

“I don’t own a suit, so this’ll have to do. We going or what?”

“Yep, by the way, I’m buying you better whisky, this shit is disgusting.” Making another face at his glass, the brunet put it down on the table as Bucky made his way to the front door. “WAIT!” The sudden outburst made Bucky lose his footing, but Steve was quick enough to catch him before he could fall. When he looked up into Steve’s oh fuck they’re so blue eyes, he stepped back quickly. “Hold on,” Tony reached inside his pocket and with a grin on his face, pulled out something dark from it. “Arms up.”

Bucky looked from his hand to his face suspiciously. “Why?”

“Jesus Christ, trust me.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky did as he was asked and watched as Tony put a what the fuck is this shit-

When he looked down at his chest- yup it’s a fucking sash! A black sash with something written on it in pink. He had to tilt his head and concentrate on the words before he was able to read it.

‘Birthday Bitch’

Bucky barked a laugh, head tilted back. “Fuck, this is awesome!”

“You look perfect now.” Tony nodded. “Alright, let’s go!”



The limousine- yes, limousine because Tony fucking Stark, okay- dropped them in front of probably one of the coolest, most select clubs in the city and Bucky’s jaw dropped at the sight. He had never been to a place like this before, he bet you were only allowed in a place like this if you had a famous name. And yet, here he was. With Tony Stark and Steve Rogers and Pepper Potts and ugh, Steve’s girlfriend- what was her name again? Shannon?  Whatever.

They were all easily allowed inside, Tony walking at the front and he wasn’t even asked for his name because well- everybody knows Tony Stark.

Once inside though, the music stopped playing and-

“Everybody, cheer for the birthday boy!” the DJ said, and Bucky blinked when everyone around him started singing a very loud ‘Happy Birthday’.

What. The. Fuck.

Bucky didn’t know these people. And they were all singing for him. Was it for him? Was it someone else’s birthday?

He made a step back trying to hide behind Steve’s back, but a flash of red caught his eye and-

Natasha was standing there, a huge smile on her face as she sang along.

Bucky was confused, wasn’t she supposed to be- oh.


When he realized what was happening, what she did, what they all did, he teared up and ran to his best friend, picking her up in his arms and hiding his face in the crook of her neck. He could feel her chuckle and wrap her arms around his neck, her hands massaging softly at his scalp.

“You liar.” He whimpered against her neck.

Her only answer was to cup his face and kiss his forehead.



They had the private V.I.P. room.

All the Avengers and friends seemed to be here, to enjoy and celebrate his birthday.

Bucky was sitting at a booth, with Natasha and Pepper all three of them enjoying their cocktails. “I have to say, Natasha told me how much you love shopping.” Pepper beamed at him. “We should definitely go shopping together sometime.”

“I would really love that!” He quickly agreed because he really was indeed a sucker for shopping.

“Maybe we could book a spa day too- no, we need a weekend. A full weekend. Just you, me and Natasha.”

Unfortunately, Bucky never answered to that because then, he noticed a few feet from them was Steve. Making out with Shannon. He frowned at the sight but call him a masochist, he simply couldn’t look away. He hated Shannon, he-


Startled, he looked away from them and up to the person that called out his name. Clint. The blond was standing next to a man that looked a lot like him but slightly musclier.

“I’d like to introduce you to my brother,” Clint was grinning as he patted his brother’s muscly shoulder. “Barney, this is our birthday boy and Nat’s best friend, Bucky. Bucky, Charles, my brother who goes by Barney.”

Fuck if Barney wasn’t hot.

Bucky took the extended hand and shook it with a smile.

“Well, Happy Birthday, mind if I offer you a birthday drink?” Barney asked and oh- his voice is so deep.

“He’d love that!” Natasha said for him and when he looked at her, both she and Clint were winking at him.

Oh, I see!

Biting on his bottom lip, Bucky quickly glanced Steve’s way who was still making out with Shannon- then back at Barney and nodded, smiling brightly at the man.

“What she said.” He stood up and followed Barney. “Mind if I call you Charles?” Charles is a hot name!

“I- no one calls me Charles…” The man hesitated as they reached the bar.

“Make an exception for me?” Bucky muttered when he stepped close enough to be heard and Barney chuckled.

“That look should be illegal.”

“What look?” Bucky asked innocently.

“Argh- fine… You can call me Charles. No one ever tells you ‘no’ am I right?”

“Natasha is strong enough, she’s the only one though.” Bucky winked at him and Barney laughed again before he turned to the waitress and order their drinks.




After a few drinks, Bucky found himself in the dancefloor body flush against Barney’s. They were moving together with no space between their bodies, the alcohol and the bass of the music played by the DJ was enough to make Bucky high but the muscles under his palms were making things a thousand times better. They swayed together, hands traveling on each other and all the bad memories from hours ago had disappeared from Bucky’s mind. Until- His eyes locked on clear blue. Steve stood against a wall, drink in one hand, the other one shove inside his pocket. The muscles of his jaw seemed tight and he wasn’t looking away not even when he saw that Bucky had noticed him watching. Bucky glared, trying to make him look away but of course, that didn’t work.


The brunet rolled the tip of his tongue slowly on his bottom lip, his hands gripping at the shoulders he had been holding onto. Just as slowly, and never breaking the eye contact with Steve, he leaned over Barney’s ear and licked his lobe before catching it between his teeth and giving it a little suck.

Steve didn’t look away.

Very well.

He nuzzled softly Barney’s cheek and the man in his arms looked at him, pupils dilated. Bucky inched closer and this time licked at the man’s lips.

“Still on?” the man asked to make sure.

Before they had started dancing they had agreed that they weren’t in for anything serious, they were here to just have some fun. They had a lot in common, and will probably- most likely be friends, but friends who fuck each other is a thing.

“Yep,” Bucky muttered against his lips. “Kiss me.”

Barney obliged and captured Bucky’s lips in a deep kiss, their tongues teased, learning the other’s taste. When Bucky glanced over, Steve was glaring at him and the drink in his hand had disappeared. Happy with the reaction, Bucky allowed his hands to grab Barney’s ass, the feeling of such beautiful ass in his grip was enough to make him moan openly in the other’s mouth.

“Fuck- I want you.”

Bucky answered by rocking his hips up and making their crotches rub together. Both groaned in each other's mouth.



Barney broke their kiss and glanced over at the blonde that was looking at Bucky and only Bucky.

“Natasha is looking for you.” The blond said, tone flat.


“Well, tell her I’ll go in a minute-” he grabbed Barney’s face and plunged in for another kiss.

“I… She’s-” Bucky waved him off, never breaking the kiss. “I’m serious, she’s looking for you, Bucky.”

Barney broke the kiss once more and smiled apologetically at him. “Maybe you should go see what she wants babe. Then,” he nuzzled at Bucky’s earlobe and whispered, “I’ll take you home and I swear you won’t be able to sit for a week.”

That made Bucky’s knees go weak. “Fuck, is that a promise?” He asked with a smirk and Barney nodded, nibbling at the skin under his ear before he took a step back. “Go, I’ll go get our stuff.”

With that, the man turned and left Bucky and Steve behind. The brunet scowled up at the blond that still hadn’t moved and was now glaring at Barney’s back. Without saying a word, Bucky walked past him to go and find his best friend, but Steve was quick to join his side.

“I thought you two just met.” Steve says, tone flat again.

Bucky glanced his way, arching an eyebrow. “So, what?”

“Are you seriously going back with him?”

He scoffed at that, quickening his pace. “How is that your problem?”

“I don’t trust him that’s all. I worry for-”

“He’s Clint’s brother. Clint wouldn’t have introduced him to me if he was a psycho and I still don’t see how that’s your business.”

Thankfully, Bucky found Natasha (who was sitting on Clint’s lap and smiling at whatever he was saying in her ear), so Steve never answered that.

“I’m here, what is it?” he asked his best friend who turned to him and frowned in confusion. That only made Bucky send an accusative stare Steve's way. This was all bullshit.

“Where’s Barney?” Clint asked with a knowing smile.

“He went to get our stuff, we are… leaving.” Bucky said with a smile of his own.

“Oh, apartment’s all yours, babe. I will leave you two to it.” Natasha winked at him and reached over to smack his ass. “Go get it, tiger.”

“I intend to.” He said pointedly looking at Steve then looked back at Natasha and hugged her. “Thanks again for all this, you’re honestly the best and I love you big like my ass.”

“I love you big like mine.” She said back, and they hugged before Bucky left them (and a scowling Steve) behind.

When he met Barney outside the club, he took his hand and grinned at him. “So, about that promise… The apartment’s all mine tonight.”

“Oh.” Barney smirked and raised a hand for a taxi.



Barney kept his promise and they fucked for hours until Bucky’s back and ass and legs hurt. But at least, he was able to get Steve out of his head if only for a few hours.

Chapter Text

First the aliens and Loki, then Ultron and now apparently, it was something from space again or rather someone? Someone that apparently wanted to destroy half of the universe with jewelry. This time though, Natasha seemed terrified. Enough to worry Bucky because Nat was the strongest person he had ever met and never showed if she was scared. Nothing had happened yet though, they just had a warning from other people from space, but it was probably worse to know that something would happen, but you don’t know when or how to stop it from happening. Which is the reason why Natasha didn’t hesitate to pack their stuff and tell Bucky that they had to go live with the other Avengers at their new Facility. Bucky didn’t like that plan, he really disliked it because that meant he had to give up on his job, his daily activities and basically his freedom; but he wasn’t about to fight with Natasha on that. If she said they had to move out, then Bucky will listen and follow.

The Avengers new Facility was a lot like a military base from the outside. A luxury one, but a military base anyway. When Bucky first stepped out of Natasha’s Corvette Stingray to take in his new home and saw men and women training outside, others in business suits walking in and out the building, he turned to his best friend, clearly unhappy. She simply narrowed her eyes at him, as if to say shut the fuck up, at least we’ll be safe. To which Bucky sighed dramatically and finally decided to follow her inside. Thankfully, none of the people they had seen outside or in the first floor had access to the residential part of the building where the Avengers had each their apartment and common rooms. Natasha had of course insisted in sharing an apartment with Bucky, not wanting to leave him alone and terrified.

Their new apartment was probably four times bigger than the previous one and way too clean for Bucky to be at ease. At first, he simply stood there stiffly, afraid to touch anything, and would even take off his shoes before stepping fully inside the overly clean place. Often, and even though they were sharing, Bucky found himself alone, bored to death with only Netflix and his laptop to occupy himself when Natasha was out on a mission or working out at the gym. She had asked Bucky to join her even for a simple jog outside, but Bucky was terrified to walk out of the apartment and bump into Steve. Ever since the incident on his birthday, the brunet hadn’t seen the blond again for which he was glad but also frustrated. When he was alone, he’d sometimes imagine how their next encounter could possibly go. Was he supposed to apologize for what the other saw? Should he even say anything at all? Or just ignore him?

Bucky was so bored that after only a full week of being locked in their apartment, he decided that he didn’t give a fuck to whether he’d see Steve Rogers or not. Another episode of Gilmore Girls and he’d go insane. So, he decided to grow a pair and finally leave the apartment.

If anyone could see him now, he probably looked like a child who had lost his mother in the supermarket when he carefully made his way down the halls, looking around him as if he was looking for someone or in his case, hiding from someone. The first person he saw was Pepper, who was drinking what looked like tea. She was sitting on a yellowish sofa, with a book held in her delicate pale hands.

Before he could even announce himself, Pepper glanced up from the book and smiled brightly at him.

“James!” She exclaimed, “How are you dear? I haven’t seen you since you moved in.”

Blushing, Bucky nervously ran a hand through his hair, forgetting that he had tied it in a bun and now he had to re-fix it because he just messed it with his fingers and the fact that Pepper saw him fumbling like a kid was enough to make him blush harder. “I’m sorry… I-” He gesticulated his hand around as if it’d explain.

“I understand, you need time to get used to this. To be honest with you, I’m still not used to the fact that I live with all these enhanced humans.” She put her book down on the coffee table. “Want to join me? I was going to make some more tea. Unless you’d like something else to drink?”

Bucky approached her and sat down on the sofa, instantly shaking his head. “Oh no, tea is perfectly fine.”

“It’s Japanese,” She told him as she made her way to the common kitchen to prepare the tea. “Dr. Cho gave it to me, I’m sure you’ll love it! I think Bruce and I are the only people who drink tea in this place so, it’s nice to have another person who enjoys it.”

“I’ve been around coffee for so long that I can’t even stand it anymore.”

That made her chuckle. “You worked in a coffee-shop, right?” He nodded. “It’s understandable then. People end up disliking whatever they work with, if they work with it for too long. Once I visited Belgium, and there was this Chocolatier… he’s the most famous in the country, people love his chocolates but, he, he told me that he really hates chocolate. I found it quite funny.”

“Glad you don’t hate what you work with, darling.” A familiar voice said from the door making Pepper and Bucky glance that way and smiling at the sight of Tony Stark who was wearing a beautiful grey suit and dark sunglasses. The man turned to Bucky and took off his glasses with a knowing smile. “She works for me.” He winked, and Pepper rolled her beautiful eyes.

“Used to. I work for us now. I’m the boss, remember?”

“I love it when you play the boss card, it turns me on.” Tony walked up to her and pressed a kiss on her temple.

They were honestly such a beautiful couple.

“James and I are having tea, want to join us?”

Tony scrunched up his nose and looked at his girlfriend as if she had just insulted his genius. “Ah babe, you know I hate that Japanese shit that Cho gives you. Besides, we’re too grown up for tea party- I’d love some whisky though.”

Shrugging, Pepper turned back to pour the tea on two cups. Bucky was by their side before she could take them to the living room. “I got it.” He tells her, taking both cups and making his way back to the sofa.

“You’re such a gentleman.” Pepper beamed.

“I’m glad you’re gay, or else I’d think you’re trying to steal her from me.” Tony added, making his way to them with a glass of whisky and Bucky winked at him.

“I don’t need to be straight to steal girls from their men, look at Nat.”

Even though they were now official, Natasha still spent more time with Bucky than with Clint.

“Whatever, the real question here is why in the heck have you been hiding since moving in? Don’t like this place?” Tony asked the last part carefully and Bucky remembered when Natasha told him about Tony being ready to spend his money and make every and any changes possible in this place only to please the people who lived here.

“No!” Bucky was quick to assure him. “This place is lovely.”

“Then why?”

“Oh Tony, sweetheart, he needs time to get used to this, leave him alone.” Pepper defended him and took a sip of her steamy tea.

Bucky followed her example and hummed when he swallowed the sweet beverage. “This is so good.”

The redhead smiled brightly. “I’m glad you like it!” She put her cup down and turned to him with a knowing look. “So, James. How’s Charles?”

Bucky’s eyes bulged upon hearing her ask about Barney and it was enough to make him choke himself with his own tea. He coughed, eyes watering as he tried to breathe properly. Tony even came up behind him to rub his back.

“You okay?” Tony asked, both eyebrows raised, and Bucky nodded when he could finally swallow and breathe.

“We’re… we’re not-” He looked up at Pepper and why was he so embarrassed? “We’re friends.”

“Oh, you dirty thing!” Tony exclaimed, smacking his shoulder and even Pepper smirked. “Friends with benefits, huh?”

“Something like that.” He shrugged and pointedly looked at his cup of tea. “He’s great but we agreed we didn’t want anything serious.”

“That’s a shame, you two looked cute together on your-”

“Is Steve here?” a female voice asked from the door and all three of them glanced up to see Captain America’s girlfriend look around with a frown on her face.

“What are you-” Tony started.

“Tony.” Pepper cut in, in a stern voice before looking back at the blond woman and smiling politely at her. “Sorry, he’s not here. Did you try looking for him at the gym?”

“I did.” She sighed. “He wasn’t there, thanks though. Hello, Jay.”


Bucky glared at the woman and said nothing as she walked back out.

“She’s not allowed in here. No agents are allowed here Pepper!” Tony said outraged, and Pepper sighed.

“I know darling, but Steve has been avoiding her apparently. I can only understand why she’d come up here looking for him. Poor thing.”

“Steve has been avoiding her?”

Both Tony and Pepper turned to Bucky who had just blurt out his thoughts out loud, dammit.

“Yeah, or so that’s what she told me the other day.” Pepper told him.

“Hm. Sucks.” Bucky shrugged. “Anyway, what can we do here to pass time?”




Later that evening, Natasha walked into the kitchen only to abruptly stop at the sight of her best friend, a pink flowered apron around his waist as he was mixing something in a big pan and Pepper wearing her own apron, opening the oven to check something inside.

“I’d say 10 more minutes.” The elegant redhead muttered as she closed the oven and turned back to Bucky.

“Well, I’m done here.” Bucky grinned and raised the spoon to Pepper’s lips so she could have a taste.

“Mmm, délicieux.” She approved with a nod. “Natasha, hey!”

Bucky followed Pepper’s gaze and smiled brightly at his best friend.

“What’re you guys doing?”

“Cooking.” The brunet told her naturally.

“I know, idiot. Cooking what?” She rolled her eyes and finally came closer to them.

“I’m making salmon and broccoli lasagna.” He pointed to the white sauce in the pan that he had been mixing and sure enough there was all the rest of the ingredients awaiting. “And Pepper is making something called coquilles Saint-Jacques, I think it’s fancy fish.”

“It’s seafood.” Pepper reminded him, and Bucky nodded.

Fancy seafood.” He moved to start on fixing the different layers for the lasagna. “You my friend, you need a shower. Dinner will be ready in like thirty minutes.” He waved his fingers at the sweaty redhead, dismissing her; never looking up from what he was doing.

She wrinkled her nose because yes, she indeed needed a shower, but she couldn’t leave without muttering a ‘asshole’ to her best friend on her way out to which he shouted back ‘You love me!’

Clint was the first to walk in and sit on a kitchen stool as he watched them finish cooking. Bucky had to slap his hand away a few times when he’d try and steal bits of salmon or stick his fingers in the killer bechamel he made. Thor soon followed, exclaiming in a loud tone how good the food smelled and how he adored his friends for taking their time to cook for the rest of them. Then Bruce, who simply helped set the table. Peter, Wanda and Vision, walked in together followed by Sam and- Steve.

As soon as the blond stepped in and they locked eyes, Steve stopped dead in his tracks, lips parting and eyes wide. Bucky, instantly ducked his head and decided that the best way to survive living in the same building as Steve, would be to completely ignore the man.

“I’m going to call Tony, or he’ll never leave the lab. I’ll be right back.” Pepper told him and ran her long fingers through his hair on her way out.

Bucky noticed that Pepper, like Natasha, loved touching his hair.

“What’s all this?” Sam approached him with a grin and since they were best friends, Steve decided to follow.

“I, uh… these are Coquilles Saint-Jacques.”

Sam then turned to the oven, bending over to check what was inside.

“It smells really good…” Steve muttered, leaning over Bucky’s shoulder to look at the seafood.

Bucky’s heart, the traitor, decided it was a good idea to beat faster and louder. Enough to scare the crap out of him because he once heard Natasha say how Steve’s powers made him able to hear anything that normal people couldn’t and what if he can hear the effect he has on me and my traitorous heart??? The younger man cleared his throat and instead of answering he moved completely out of the way to let Steve look freely at big white shells.

“Is that lasagna? It looks like lasagna but what’s in it?” Sam, thank god, asked and Bucky moved quickly to stand by his side.

“Yes! Exactly. Lasagna. Um, I put salmon and broccoli in it.”

“It sure sounds delicious.” Wanda told him from the table and when Bucky looked over she was smiling at him. “Thanks for cooking for us, Bucky.”

“It really wasn’t a bother… I actually enjoyed it.”

“Papa is here, my darlings.” Tony said loud enough to be heard by everyone when he entered the room with Pepper close behind.

“Let me help you. Sam, Steven, sit.” Natasha said from next to him. And when did she get here again?

Bucky and Pepper, with Natasha’s help, served the plates with the coquilles Saint-Jacques to everyone, soon joining them all at the table. Bucky sat in the middle of Natasha and Peter, unfortunately, Steve was sitting opposite him and whenever Bucky looked up, he could see those blue, so damn blue! eyes looking intently at him.

Dinner with the Avengers was nothing like what he had expected to be. They were all loud, shouting to be heard and laughing all together. It looked so much like a family that Bucky felt all warm inside and grateful to be a part of this big mess. Everyone complimented Bucky and Pepper on their cooking skills, making them both blush.

After dinner though, Tony feeling giddy at having all his friends together, suggested drinking games.

“You know I can’t get drunk, Tony.” Steve frowned at the brunet.

“No worries, friend Steven. I have brought some of my old elixir I made you drink last time.” Thor happily said, and Tony gestured at the beefy god with a smirk.

“See, no excuses Cap.”

“What about me? Am I allowed to play?” Peter asked Tony making the man nod excitedly.

“He’s 16, Tony!” Pepper reminded him.

“It’s Friday, no school tomorrow, and he’ll only drink the beer low on alcohol. Let the kid play, Pepper.”

She sighed, but didn’t try to argue back.

They all sat together in the living room. Clint and Sam both sitting on the floor, the others on the sofas or the huge fluffy poufs. Bucky was also on the floor, sitting between Natasha’s legs as she massaged her fingers through his scalp, making him almost sleep. It was Tony that handed everyone their drinks of choice, Steve getting that suspicious elixir that Thor said he had in his own glass of whisky.

“What game we playing?” Clint asked, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

“Never Have I Ever.” Tony suggested as he took a seat between his girlfriend and Bruce. “Because, I’m curious to know more about Cap. So, the oldest starts!”

Bucky looked up at Tony and waited for him to start but everyone had their eyes on Steve and-


That’s right, Steve is the oldest.

All eyes on him made the blond blush. He glared at Tony before clearing his throat and looking down at his drink as he thought of something he had never done. After 15 seconds of silence, Tony rolled his eyes before speaking up. “Seriously, Cap! Say something!”

“Uh… yeah, huh. Never have I ever… huh… Oh I know! Never have I ever, tried to look at the Sun.”

Some frowned, others blinked, and Tony looked like he wanted to cry. “Wow.” He said and rubbed a hand down his face with a groan. “You’re so old! Can’t even find good stuff you’ve never done.”

Everyone except Vision and Steve had a sip of their drinks.

“You tellin’ me you never looked at the sun?” Sam asked his best friend.

“Huh, no I have.”

“Then- Oh. My. God.” Tony honestly looked so done. “You never played this game?”

Natasha decided to step in before it ended in a fight. “So basically, we each have to say, ‘Never have I ever’ and then you add something you’ve never done, alright? When it’s someone else’s turn, and if they say something that they’ve never done but you have done it, you drink.”

“Oh.” Steve nodded. “Okay… thanks.”

“Your turn, Sam.” Tony said.

“Never have I ever been to church or other religious places AND a strip club in the same day.” The dark-skinned man shrugged.

Bucky took a sip before he could think of it and everyone looked at him shocked. Well, everyone except Natasha.

“Huh… does a gay bar count? They were almost naked…”

“Man, even I have never done that!” Tony exclaimed making Bucky blush. “I need to-”

“No. You don’t, Tony.” Pepper scolded him.

“Anyway… huh, Clint your turn, mate.” Bucky told him.

“Ah! Never have I ever… dumdumdum… had sex with someone more than ten years older than me.”

Bucky, Natasha and Sam took sips of their drinks.

“NAT?” Clint asked incredulously making her shrug.

“Some guy I tried to get answers from during a mission. Nothing serious.” She said bluntly.

“What about you two then.” Wanda asked Bucky and Sam curiously, a small smile on her lips.

“Well, for me it was a costumer, he was thirteen years older I think. You remember him Nat? Brock?”

“Ahhh yes, yes Brock…” She nodded with a smirk.

“As for me, it was one of my teachers in college. Beautiful woman.” Sam said with a dreamy smile.

The game continued until it was Peter’s turn to say: “Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this room.”

Clint and Nat drank, followed by Tony who looked at Pepper and winked, she too gulped some of her drink. Wanda cleared her throat and blushed, eyeing Vision and both took a drink. Meanwhile, Bucky glanced up at Steve who was already looking at him. This was not good. Bucky knew that Steve was avoiding his girlfriend, but he wasn’t about to just drink and admit he had a crush on the guy. So he looked away from the blond and leaned back, resting his head on Natasha’s thigh. He closed his eyes, relaxing at the feeling of her soft fingers running through his hair. Yet, he couldn’t stop thinking of this situation. He couldn’t get a read on Steve. He remembered his birthday party, Steve watching him all tense when Bucky was dancing and kissing Barney. Steve had said he didn’t trust Barney, it was a plausible reason on why he had acted like that. Maybe they had met before and he had a good reason to say that? And yet, Bucky hoped that it was jealousy. He instantly shook the ridiculous idea out of his head. Steve wasn’t jealous. Why would he be jealous? They barely knew each other. Bucky was far more open and friendly with the rest of the team so that made no sense.

That night, when he was laying in bed, he made a call to Barney who had been away in Europe for work. They had phone sex and it was enough to help Bucky fall asleep without thinking of Steve Rogers.




“Hey kid, you’re okay?” Bucky asked as he opened the door wider and took in the sight of Peter Parker who had just knocked on his door. He was still wearing pyjamas and his fluffy hair was a beautiful tangled mess.

Peter looked down at his feet, fingers pulling at the hem of his NASA t-shirt. “I need...” he bit his bottom lip, and Bucky noticed the blush on his face. The kid seemed nervous.

“Hey, come on in.” Bucky smiled at the teenager. “Whatever you’re about to say, I think we need cocoa for that.”

After Peter walked in and took a seat on the sofa, Bucky prepared cocoas for the both of them. He hummed while doing it, trying to be quick but still looking relaxed enough so he wouldn’t stress the kid more than he already was. He wondered if it was a problem at school? If he need help with some class, or something like that.

“Here.” He handed to cocoa to Peter and sat down next to him.

Peter muttered a quick ‘thanks’ and took a sip before he blurted out “I need your advice.”

Bucky blinked and slowly turned to the younger man, looking at him in awe. Peter came to him for advice? Him. Not Tony, not Steve. Not anyone in this damn place that would make sense. No. The kid wanted advice from him. 

He put his cocoa on the coffee table and turned his body towards Peter to show he had his attention. “What is it? I’ll try to help the best I can.”

Peter offered him an hint of a smile. “That’s why I came to you. The others... well, they’d try to help obviously but,” he huffed nervously and ran a hand through his messy hair. “But you’re... well. Okay, there’s this guy at school... His name is Flash. I mean, that’s not his name his name is actually Eugene but it’s what he goes by, it’s a stupid name...” He was babbling. “Anyway. He’s a real asshole. I never asked for it, but he makes everything a competition between us.”

Bucky could see where this conversation was going, but he said nothing, letting the teenager say everything he needed to say.

“But a few days ago, it was after gym. I thought I was the only one left in the showers, that was until Flash appeared and he- well, he kind of kissed me...” Peter looked up at Bucky through his lashes. When he was sure he could continue, he looked back down at his twisting fingers. “It was brutal. Almost like a ‘I still hate you’ kiss. It was all frustration. But I still- I still...”

“You liked it.” Bucky suggested softly and Peter nodded, blushing.

“I think-” Peter waved his hand, trying to find his words. “Well, no. I know that I’m into guys as much as I am into girls... You’re the first person who knows about this.”

Bucky nodded, he was kind of happy to be the first person Peter came out to. But he needed to get some things clear.

“That Flash dude,” he started and Peter looked up at him. “He’s out of the closet?”

Peter snorted and shook his head. “No, and he’s still an asshole. But... he texts me. Saying he misses my lips and all that stuff. I don’t know what to do.”

“Look, Peter. I don’t know that guy, but if he can’t at least stop being an asshole to you then he’s not worth it. I’ve been there, you know.”

“You have?” The younger man asked in a small voice and Bucky nodded.

“Yeah, was more or less dating that guy who was deep in the closet, and to keep the others from thinking he was anything other than straight, he was the biggest asshole to me. Kept kissing girls and even having sex with them. I always forgave him because he always came back to me saying they meant nothing. It was a really abusive relationship when I look back on it. And I knew I couldn’t force him to come out, but enough was enough, so I broke up with him. Now he’s married to a woman. I heard they have a kid but he’s so unhappy, he’s drunk and angry all the time.” He reached for Peter’s hand and squeezed it softly. “I’m not saying Flash won’t have the guts to come out, but he’s being mean to you Peter. So my advice is you talk to him, tell him that either he stops being a dick and in time, he’ll come clean with his sexuality, or you go on with your life without him, and eventually, I promise you’ll find the right person. You’re still young, you have so much to live, and you deserve better than an abusive relationship.”

To his surprise, Peter threw his arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “Thank you, Bucky.”




A groan escaped his lips, making the woman on his right chuckle.

“Feels good, huh?” Pepper asked and Bucky blinked one eye open to look at her.

Pepper, Bucky and Natasha had left together for a Spa weekend. When the girls told him about it, he thought it would be in some place in the city. He wasn’t prepared to take a private jet to the Bahamas. He wasn’t prepared for their private wellness villa, and he wasn’t prepared for the hot guys that came in to massage them all in the right places.

“This is amazing. I never want to leave. Can we stay here forever?” Bucky reached for his coconut and sucked from the straw, savoring the exotic flavor.

“Tony would never survive without Pepper.” Natasha mumbled. “Mhm, right there handsome. A bit rougher, I’m not made of glass.” She told the guy that was massaging her.

“We can still come back, when we need a break.” Pepper added.

“Mhm, I have nothing against that idea.” Bucky agreed.

He soon fell asleep, his body being way too relaxed to resist it.




He was panting, sweat dribbling down his body. Thankfully, he had taken his shirt off minutes ago. Nothing was more disgusting than clothes sticking to his sweaty body. His arms and legs were shaking from the physical effort he had been put through for the past twenty minutes. The man in front of him though, was still fresh as a daisy and he even had a huge smile on his beautiful face.

Stupid gorgeous God. 

Why did Bucky think it would be a great idea to get his frustration and stress out on boxing? Why did he accept to be coached by Thor? Who was using his bare hands to stop every hit Bucky threw at him.

“Again.” Thor said with a smile and Bucky wanted to cry.

“I’m dying.”

“Again, Bucky.” The God of thunder raised his hands. “Come on, throw a punch.”

Bucky did. It was weak and he nearly fell against Thor’s chest but the blond helped him get back his balance.


Another weak, shaky one. His legs trembled and he was sure he was going to faint right here at Thor’s feet.


“Jesus Christ! You’re a fucking God, I’m only a simple mortal human! Give me a break!” Bucky said grumpily, and yes he even stomped his foot on the floor.

“I’m not hearing you. Again.”

“No. I need a break.”

“Ah, are you weak Bucky?” Thor kept smiling. And Bucky wanted to punch him straight in his face this time to wipe that smug smile away. “Are you? Mm. I must say I’m disappointed. I thought you tougher than that, friend.”

“Don’t call me weak!” Bucky was now shouting.

“Stop acting like it then. Give a punch! Come on. Do it. Show me you’re not weak. Show me!”

With a shout, Bucky threw a punch so hard he stumbled back from the force of it. But Thor was grinning, and before he could say ‘again’ Bucky was throwing punch after punch. Each one blocked by Thor’s hands.

“Yes, that’s it. That’s it! Keep it up!”




“I take it Thor was a bit too rough on you.” Bruce said later on when Bucky stumbled into the Yoga room. One tired look from Bucky was enough for an answer and Bruce smiled at him.

“We’re going to relax a bit then.”

“Meditation?” He couldn’t take Yoga right now.

Bruce nodded and sat down on his mat, Bucky following his example with an huff. The low sound of some classical music started in the room and both closed their eyes.

He didn’t know how long they’ve been here, Bucky had been lost deep in his safe place. Somewhere in a forest, a waterfall coming from between rocks. The only sound around was the nature. Until loud footsteps broke him from his trans. Bruce already had his eyes opened when Bucky decided to open his’.

“Ah, Steve. You’re late.” Bruce said with a smile.

“I’m sorry Bruce, I was-” Bucky looked up at Steve and the blond gasped loud enough to be heard by both Bucky and Bruce when he looked back at the brunet. “Uh... I was with Tony. He’s upgrading my suit. Hi Bucky...”


“Uh...” Feeling the sudden tension in the room, Bruce spoke up. “There’s a mat down there in the corner, you can join us.”

“Actually, you can take mine.” Bucky piped up already standing on his feet. “Nat is waiting for me.” He told Bruce. He could see the man picked up on his lie but he nodded anyway.

“Alright, same time tomorrow?”

Bucky agreed with a nod before he quickly left the room, avoiding at all costs looking at Steve.




“I need a shower.” Bucky frowned looking down at his body and Thor laughed.

“Indeed, I bet they can smell you up there in Asgard.”


Bucky flipped him off and turned to make his way to the common showers. He refused to take the elevator in this state. Anyone -Steve- could get in the elevator and see him all sweaty and messy.

He already had his shirt off when he walked in. The sound of water hitting the floor reached his ears and made him frown because he had been alone down here with Thor, and the person who was here before them obviously forgot to turn off the shower and that was so disrespectful because Tony may be rich and pay the bills, it was still a waste of water. So he made his way to the shower that was running and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Steve fucking Rogers, naked against the wall. A very naked girlfriend in front of him.

“Please stop avoiding me Steve. I don’t know... if I did something wrong, but I’m sorry. It’s been... I miss you.” She looked down and Bucky could hear pain in her voice. “You can’t even get it up for me anymore... it’s been weeks already.”

“I’ve been busy Sharon. Stress and all that. You can’t blame me-”

“Let me just try.”

Before Steve could answer, she was sinking down on her knees and getting to business. Bucky shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be witnessing this. And yet, his feet seemed glued to the floor. His eyes were trailing all over the beauty that was Steve Rogers’ naked body, every inch of that pale body was enough masturbation material of the rest of his life. Steve was frowning down at Sharon, he seemed frustrated with her? Maybe himself. Or the situation in general because yeah, it must suck to not be able to get it up for his partner.

But then, Steve looked up and his eyes widened at the sight of Bucky. And Bucky, well he could only stare back. For what seemed like an eternity, both men only looked at each other. Bucky even noticed Steve’s eyes trailing down his naked torso.

“It’s working! You’re getting hard for me, babe.” Sharon chirped happily from between Steve’s legs probably thinking she must have done something right and Bucky broke the eye contact too look down at the back of her head.

Steve only grabbed her hair and muttered a choked “Keep going.” Eyes still on Bucky.

He glanced up back at the blond, his heart pounding in his chest.

What were they doing? This is so fucked up.

The only sounds were the water hitting on the floor and Sharon’s enthusiastic sucking. Somewhere deep inside his brain Bucky could only think I could do a better job than her. Bucky licked his lips at the thought and the fingers that were grabbing her hair squeezed, an audible gasp escaping Steve’s lungs followed by a grunt and the stillness of his muscles.

Steve was coming. Looking right into Bucky’s eyes as he did so too.

The oxygen was short around him. Bucky was panting. And as soon as Steve recovered from his orgasm, Bucky rushed out of the showers.

He needed to leave before Sharon noticed his presence. He needed to get out of here and fast. He wanted to tell Natasha. Could he talk to Natasha about it? He didn’t know what to do. He was just so fucking horny right now but also terrified and confused.

Whatever this was. Bucky knew, that this was no good.

Chapter Text

“Okay, so what’s all this about? Why are we meeting here? And, dude we really need to work on your I’m a normal civilian look. The hat and sunglasses ain’t that great.”

“Sam, I’m creeping out here. I really need your help, just... please.”

Sam Wilson had had enough of his best friend’s weird behaviour. It’s been a month already, and Steve was still hiding something from him. The first week, he had acted like nothing, believing that Steve would simply tell him whatever was bothering him eventually. Around the second week, and noticing that his friend had been avoiding his girlfriend, Sam had asked him if everything was okay, giving him an opening to spill whatever was going on. Steve waved him off, everything is fine he had said. On week three, Sharon was blowing up his phone. He didn’t tell you anything?’ ‘Sam, I don’t know what I did wrong.’ ‘I can’t stand him avoiding me.’ And okay, he loved Steve a hell of a lot but it wasn’t his place to play messenger between him and his girlfriend. “Dude, if you want to break up with her, just do it. But stop acting like a dick!” Sam had told his stubborn friend who simply muttered It’s not that easy, Sam.” “Well, just do something. I’m tired of being in the middle of this game of yours.”

Last night, a very pale Steve finally came up to him. Knocking frantically on his door and when Sam saw the state his friend was in, he knew something really bad was happening.

“Spill now. Tell me what’s wrong, Steve.”

“I can’t- not... not here.” he looked up at the ceiling and Sam understood it was probably worse than he thought if Steve refused to do this here where he could be recorded. “Meet me tomorrow, at the diner down the block.”

Sam glanced up at his friend worriedly. He thought that by throwing in a small joke Steve would relax a little, but it obviously wasn’t working.

“Okay, sorry... I’m listening.” He reassured his friend.

“I need you to let me talk, and not... not interrupt. You can judge me all you want when I’m done.”

The dark skinned man frowned because he wasn’t ever one to judge but nodded anyway.

“Okay...” Steve started in a shaky tone and looked down at his fumbling fingers that were resting on the table. “I, I kind of... shit.”

“Steve, you’re scaring me here, dude. I won’t judge you, you should know that.”

The blond nodded and closed his eyes. Sam knew it would probably be easier for him to spill his guts with his eyes closed, when he couldn’t look at him.

“It all started months ago.” Steve started again after taking in a deep breath. His voice at least was no longer shaky. “When Nat introduced us to Bucky... Jesus, Sam. The second I laid my eyes on him I knew I was fucked.” Sam raised his eyebrows, and now everything made sense to him. “He’s so... so beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. And, for a while I believed strongly that it was only lust, but then... I watched him. The way he’d interact with everyone. How he smiles so easily. How he’s always helping... God, he helped Vision cooking breakfast for Wanda. He helped Bruce by making him tea and meditating with him when he was slowly getting angry and about to turn into Hulk. He helped Tony at the lab. Tony, Sam! Tony never lets anyone touch his stuff and... god. He’s so pure, so gorgeous inside and out and...” he now opened his eyes and looked up at Sam through his long lashes.

“Don’t judge me too bad... I just- I know it sounds creepy but- Fuck, Sam. I couldn’t help myself. I had to keep an eye on him. He’s too precious for this world and I just need him safe.”

“Wait.” He had said he wouldn’t interrupt but this- he just had to. “Are you telling me you followed him?”

Steve winced. “Not exactly... I had F.R.I.D.A.Y. keep an eye on him and alert me if anything suspicious happened.”

“Jesus... Steve.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Sam!” the blond quickly defended himself. “He’s... I don’t know! It’s not his fault, but he makes me do things I never knew I’d be capable to do. I need to keep him safe. But then, something happened on his birthday.”

“What happened?” Sam asked, already imagining something like Steve breaking down and kissing Bucky.

“Well, you know how Nat told us about that plan for his birthday? She asked me to be the one to pick him up which I was so happy for, by the way! But- then I knocked and knocked at their door and no one was answering so I did what I thought would be best thing to do in that moment-”

“You barged in.” Sam concluded and Steve nodded.

“But... I heard. Shit, I thought he was getting hurt with the noises he was making. I didn’t think in that moment that he... he-”

Understanding where the sentence was going, Sam’s eyes increased wider and before he could help himself, he burst out laughing making Steve glare daggers at him and blush like a virgin which only made Sam laugh much louder.

A few heads turned their way and Steve had to kick Sam under the table to make him stop.

“Ow. Okay, okay... Sorry.” he chuckled. “But this is so good! Oh my god. I wish I was there to see your face.”

“Shut up. It was... embarrassing.” Steve mumbled, looking pointedly at his fingers.

“I bet!” Sam paused, seemed lost in his thoughts for a total of three seconds only to start laughing again. “Oh my god, I’m trying to picture it!”

“Oh for God’s sake. You’re the worst friend, Samuel.”

“Hey, you caught the man you fancy masturbating, as your best friend, I’m allowed to laugh about it, Steven.” The man said through chuckles and Steve rolled his eyes.

He ended up crossing his arms and waited patiently for his friend to calm down. When he finally did, Steve raised a curious eyebrow. “You done?” Sam nodded, lips trembling and had to bite them to keep himself from breaking down again. “Anyway, so as I was saying, that thing happened.” A breathy laugh escaped Sam’s lips and Steve watched his friend clasp one hand against them. When he nodded, Steve continued.

“So of course, because of that, things are very much awkward between us. He’s always avoiding me, always looking away when he catches me looking at him.” Steve sighed. “That same night, when I saw him with Clint’s brother... I don’t know, I got jealous. I had to keep Bucky away from him. So before I could think better on my actions, I walk up to them when they were swallowing each others’ tongues and told him Natasha was looking for him. I couldn’t even find a better lie with the jealousy growing inside me.”

At this point Sam was recovered from the previous statement. Mask of impeccable seriousness back on his face.

“That didn’t work out, obviously. He still went home with the man. I couldn’t even sleep that night, I was obsessing over what they were doing...” Steve’s shoulders sagged. “Then, he and Natasha moved in. When I heard about it, I was so excited. I couldn’t wait to see him around, but of course things are still tense and awkward between us, so he kept avoiding me. He’s going as far as walking out the room when I walk in.”

When Steve said nothing more. Sam decided to speak.

“Dude, this is a bad situation but-”

“It gets worse.” Steve interrupted his friend and chuckled nervously. “Give me a second. I need to... find the words.”

Sam nodded slowly, waiting patiently for Steve to tell him what could possibly be worse than all the things he’s already said.

“Okay, I can’t find a way to make this sound less fucked up than it actually is so, I’ll go for the blunt way.” Steve smiled a tense smile as he looked up at his friend. “Yesterday, I was in the showers of the gym. After having avoided Sharon for days, she finally found me there. She thought it was a great idea to have that conversation when we were both naked in the shower...” Steve waved his hand around. “It’s been... a while since we both last were intimate together. And she was frustrated that I-” he blushed. “I can’t get it to work anymore... not for her.”

Oh, Sam thought, well, I wasn’t expecting that. 

If Steve couldn’t even get hard for his beautiful girl, then, he was in deeper than Sam thought he was.

“She decided to try anyway. You know...” The blond looked around before adding in a lower tone: “giving me a blowjob.”

If Steve was about to say that he had to think of Bucky to get it up-

“It didn’t work until I looked up and Bucky was standing there...”

Jesus fucking Christ! Okay, this was worse.

“He was all sweaty, probably just out of a boxing session with Thor. And he didn’t have his shirt on, and fuck... just watching him right there, made me... you know. It worked. Down there. God Sam, he never looked away from me the whole time. It was probably the most erotic thing I have ever lived in my whole life.”

“I hope it doesn’t get worse than this...” Sam told his friend, still stunned from what he heard.

Steve shook his head, sheepishly. “That’s all. Then I freaked out, and here we are.” he added the last part with a small smile.

“Man, this is... Holy shit. Okay, first you really need to do something about Sharon, Steve. If you don’t love her, there’s no point in staying with her. And avoiding her isn’t your best plan.”

“Sam, you’re the first person to know I’m not a hundred percent straight. I don’t know how to break up with her. I’ll break her heart! Besides, even if I do, I don’t know how to make a move on Bucky. It’s too awkward between us.”

“Dude, before that, you still need to break up with Sharon. It’s only hurting her and it’s hurting you too. Jesus, you fight aliens but you can’t even break up with someone.” Sam declared incredulously.

“I’d rather fight aliens right now.”




Back at his apartment, Steve was pacing around and picking at  his fingers as he waited for Sharon’s arrival. He had texted her, asking her if they could meet and kind of felt like an asshole when she responded immediately with a ‘Sure babe, I’ll be there in twenty. Can’t wait to see you!!!’ 

Steve really is a grade A asshole.

Way too soon, someone knocked on his door. Taking in a deep breath, Steve made his way to the door and opened it. Sharon was quick to plant a kiss on his lips.

“Hey, babe.” She smiled and walked to the sofa.

When he closed the door, Steve wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans before he headed up to join her.

“We need to talk, Shar...” He started nervously.

His soon-to-be ex, frowned. “Well, this his the kind of sentence to make one scared.” She chuckled but Steve could hear that she was nervous too.

“Look,” he reached out to take her hand. “You’re amazing, really-”

“Fuck.” She pulled away from his grip and already had tears in her eyes. “Don’t do this.” She pleaded in a trembling voice.

Steve could only sigh and look down at his lap. He really didn’t know how to break-up with someone. Well, when he thought on it, he never had to break-up with anyone before. Peggy was his first serious relationship, but then the ice happened and she grew old. Sharon was only his second relationship and he couldn’t even love her properly because he had to go and fall obsessed with someone else.

“Steve... please, whatever is going on, we can work it out. You just need to open up to me.” She spoke up quietly.

“I think I’m falling for someone else, Sharon.” He tried honesty. She choked on a sob at his admission and Steve’s heart broke at the sound. “I’m really sorry... I swear I never meant to hurt you.”

“You’re doing it anyway.” She retorted bluntly.

Before he could add anything else, she angrily wiped her tears and stood up. “I hope he makes you happy.”


Steve froze up, the loud noise of his front door slamming shut making him flinch.

Fuck, she knows!




Sam showed up at his place hours later with take-out.

“How’d she take it?” His friend asked as he passed over a box of noddles and opened one for himself.

“She knows.”

Sam nodded. “Well, see. It wasn’t so hard was it?”

“No, Sam. She knows! She told me ‘I hope he makes you happy.’ It came out of nowhere, Sam!” Steve raised his voice in panic.


“Oh?” The blond asked incredulously.

“Well, that sucks. She’s too smart. Or you suck at hiding your feelings, man.” He stated with an sympathic smile. When Steve reacted by putting his food down and letting his head fall on his hands, Sam patted his shoulder. “Steve, you can’t change it now... You should’ve broken up with her sooner. But what is done is done. You can’t do anything about it and I’m not gonna let walk around the place with your sad puppy eyes. I’m giving you tonight to be sad and kick your own ass over the situation, but when you wake up tomorrow, you better be the sassy shit that runs 10 laps ahead of me.”

It worked when Steve raised his head and grinned softly at his friend. “I run at least 20 ahead.”

“I fucking hate you.”

The blond laughed loudly, and Sam smiled at his well-done job.




Sam was right. When Steve woke up in the morning, he decided that there was no need to be upset about how things went with Sharon. There was nothing he could do to change it, and it’s not like he could go back in time. So, like every morning, he dressed for a jog and joined his best friend outside.

“Glad you’re not pulling up your sad puppy eyes.” Sam grinned when he saw his friend approaching.

“I don’t have sad- whatever. We should go, looks like it’s going to rain.”

He cursed when after only one lap, rain started falling from the sky, quickly drenching them. Steve laughed when Sam ran faster than he’d ever seen him run before, towards the building where it was dry.

“Hey, you think Thor could do something about this weather? Since he’s the God of thunder.” Steve looked pointedly at his friend, because really Samuel? “Hey, you never know!” Sam raised his hands in defence. “I’ll have to ask him.”

“Sure, you do that.”

They took the elevator together, and after promising breakfast with the others in the common room, they both separated to their own apartment to take a shower and get a change of clothes.

Steve walked into the common room to find that everybody was already there. Bucky was the one that was cooking, again. He couldn’t help but let his eyes linger longer than necessary on the brunet and watched as he reached to turn the bacon with his bare fingers and sipped from his mug. His heart pounded in his chest at the memory of his last encounter with the younger man.

“Morning, Cap.” Clint saluted him and he had to look away from Bucky to give his friends a ‘good morning’. “I really hate this weather.” The archer added somberly as he looked out the window.

“I was wondering, Thor-” Sam started and Steve groaned making his friend narrow his eyes at him before he looked back at the God of thunder. “Can you like... change the weather?”

Thor laughed joyfully as if he was told the best joke ever made. “I’m afraid not, Samuel.”

Sam frowned and Steve couldn’t help the smirk he offered his friend, earning him a middle finger his way.

The blond sat at the table and Natasha, who was sitting next to him, was quick to speak up.

“I heard you broke up with Sharon.” The redhead eyed him carefully making the blond pale.

How fast words spread in this place was unbelievable.

“Uh... yeah.” He nodded slowly.

If he had been looking, he wouldn’t have missed the hopeful look in Bucky’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Pepper who was sitting opposite them said with such sincerity that Steve once again felt like an asshole because he wasn’t sad that it was over between them. He just wished he could’ve done things differently.

“I’m fine, it was for the best...” He muttered with a shrug.

They all ate breakfast together. Steve tried to not glance much towards Bucky, and so far he was successful. He had only looked three times the whole time they were all sitting together. He may have broken up with Sharon, but he didn’t know if he was ready just yet to make a move on Bucky. He had never really done that before with a man. He knew, for so long that he was attracted to both women and men but, back then, two men weren’t allowed to be together romantically. So, Steve never really tried to get involved in that field. But now that he had woken up in this time, where men were allowed to kiss and hold hands outside without worrying for their safety, well...

“Please, Bucky!” Natasha’s pleading brought him back to present and he blinked slowly, trying to catch up with what was going on.

“I would really appreciate if you did, James.” Pepper added, hopeful.

“I haven’t played in ages...” Bucky sighed.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Tony interjected and Steve saw red at the pet name. “You’re not going to refuse these beautiful women here.”

“Fine... I’ll try.”

The brunet stood up and Steve watched as he made his way to the piano.

He could play???

“Any suggestions?” He asked with a shy smile.

“Can you play Mozart?” Tony dared with an eyebrow raised making the brunet snort and the room was quickly filled with the sounds of a famous piece of Mozart.

Steve stared in awe as Bucky’s fingers moved quickly but perfectly over the black and white keys. The brunet had a small smile on his lips as he played, he was barely looking at his fingers and Steve just fell a little bit more in love.

He only played for thirty seconds before he abruptly stopped and grinned at Tony, making Steve swallow down the jealousy.

“Okay, fine.” Tony dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

“I have a request... if you don’t mind?” Pepper asked and Bucky nodded at her. “Una Mattina?”

“Ludovico Einaudi.” Bucky’s eyes shined as Pepper confirmed with a nod.

Soon a soft melody started, something Steve wasn’t familiar with, but he allowed a soft pleasant sight escape his lungs as goosebumps spread all over his skin. After the first thirty seconds and the sounds emitted by the piano grew louder and more intense, Steve felt overwhelmed with the rush of unknown sensations inside of him, his eyes starting to water up.

Pepper had visible tears in her eyes next to him, but she was smiling, barely blinking. The others were all silent, Natasha looked proud, and he could bet that even Tony had tears building up in his eyes.

Bucky though, had his eyes closed. A small line formed between his eyebrows it nearly looked like the man was in pain with every press of key. Steve had to force himself to stay still and not rush over there and hug the hell out of the younger man. The way Bucky played was so intense that even the rain outside seemed to have stopped mid-drops to not disturb the sounds coming from the room. Bucky was beautiful.

And Steve was so screwed.

When the song finished and Bucky blinked his eyes opened, no one dared to speak. The brunet blushed, and cleared his throat before speaking up. “Uh... as I said, I haven’t played in a while... I’m sorry if it was awful.”

“It was gorgeous!” Steve exclaimed before he could beg his mouth to shut the hell up. 

Bucky’s eyes snapped towards him, and both men blushed deeply.

“Do the one you always play for me?” Natasha asked her friend, saving them from their awkward moment.

The younger man looked at his friend with an adoring smile, his fingers already starting to play.

Again, Steve didn’t know this song.

When Pepper ‘aww’d’ lowly next to him, and Bucky and Natasha kept their eyes locked together, their smiles growing fonder making the blond frown. This looked like a moment way too intimate to be witnessing.

“What’s this song?” He asked Pepper in a whisper.

The redhead smiled brightly at him. “It’s from Yiruma, it’s called River Flows In You, from his album First Love.”

The frown on his face turned sour. They were friends, why were they doing stuff like this? Like... they were a couple. When Steve looked over at Clint and saw that the man was smiling along the two, he wondered how he seemed so okay with this?

“They’re not together though.” He whispered again and Pepper looked at him in surprise for a second.

“Well, no but they have a really strong relationship. It’s beautiful.”

Steve couldn’t make his face relax throughout the rest of the song.

He wondered if maybe one day, he could be the one that Bucky played the piano for...

Chapter Text

The rain was getting heavier outside, the sky covered with thick dark clouds and the Avengers + Pepper and Bucky were all cuddled up in the living room. Bucky was very aware of Steve’s presence on the sofa next to the one he was sitting on. The arms of each sofa weren’t large enough to separate them by much, and Bucky was having a small panic attack from the situation.

They decided that the best thing to do, would be to watch movies together. Tony and Bruce could have gone down to the lab. Thor, Natasha, Clint and the others could have spent their time down at the gym. And yet, the awful weather was enough to make all the super-heroes lazy as fuck and just enjoy the day off.

Because he was new, Bucky was given the privilege to pick the movie they’d watch. He felt a huge satisfaction of being the chosen one, so he was quick to suggest Harry Potter. Tony had frowned at his choice and Steve apparently didn’t know Harry Potter. Bucky was almost offended by that. How Steve, in all the years he’s been out of the ice, still hadn’t read or watched Harry Potter was something Bucky couldn’t live with.

The lights turned off, Natasha snuggled against Clint, keeping her feet under Bucky’s thigh because they needed to be close. Sometimes, even without noticing.

And the movie started, with Dumbledore. Bucky barely blinked. Honestly, he had read and watched Harry Potter so many times, too many times to be now considered a real unhealthy obsession, and yet he never grew tired of it. He still loved it deeply, and still felt all ecstatic, allowing himself to be transported into that wonderful world that J.K. Rowling had created. All hail the Queen!

He had to contain himself to not quote all the lines in the movie, he had proved he was enough of a nerd by now, no need to make things worse. Natasha knew though, with all the times they had watched the movies together, she wasn’t even annoyed anymore when Bucky quoted the whole films.

Harry was only getting the sorting hat on his head when Bucky felt a slight brush of fingertips  against his knuckles. Instantly, his blood ran cold, his muscles stiffed, his heart slammed against his ribcage and his breath came out harsher out of his lungs.

This isn’t happening.

He refused to look down at his hand. He refused to see Steve’s fingers tracing his knuckles ever so slightly, making his whole body shiver at the feeling. His eyes fluttered shut. Traitors. And an army of butterflies attacked his stomach all from a brush of fingers! What was he? Twelve?

Steve got bolder with his touch, allowing the tip of his fingers to trail down Bucky’s slender ones. The movement was so light, so slow, and it felt better than any blowjob he ever received.

A low whimper escaped his lips. Mortified, he snapped his eyes open and quickly pulled off as if he had been burned from the touch alone. When he dared a look towards the blond, he noticed that the man was stubbornly keeping his eyes on the screen. The lights from it, illuminated his face and if his own eyes weren’t pulling a joke on him, Steve seemed flushed.

When he decided to look back at the screen, Harry, Hermione and Ron were already in front of Fluffy, the three-headed dog.




The next day, Bucky woke up to a very empty apartment. Natasha had left on a mission with Clint. When he headed to the common room, it was also very empty. Before he decided on making too much breakfast for probably no one, Bucky, after getting himself a mug of his morning tea, asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. where everyone was.

“Mr Stark and Ms Potts had to leave for an urgency.” The robotic female voice said. “Ms Romanov and Mr Barton are off on a mission and Mr Wilson is at the VA. Thor is gone to stop his brother from doing evil, once more.”

“What about Peter?” He asked, still a little uneasy that he could speak to the ceiling.

“He’s at school.” Oh right, it’s Monday.


“Dr Banner is busy at the lab, he asked not to be disturbed.”

“And, uh...” He cleared his throat, and blushed.

Before he could say anything though, the voice spoke up. “Mr Rogers is in his apartment.”

Okay, that’s creepy. She knew he was going to ask about him before he could even form the words.

“Can I ask you something?” He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer but, he needed to ask anyway. Of course, came her response. “Do you always watch and record everything? Like... everything, everything?”

“Not everything, Mr Barnes.”

“Call me Bucky.”

“But if you are worried about your nightly encounters with that Captain America toy-”

“OKAY!” Bucky exclaimed loudly, turning scarlet. He had zero privacy in this place then.

“Mr Rogers is arriving. I suggest you tell him how you feel-”

“No. Can you not do this? Jesus!”

Careless Whisper by George Michael started playing out of nowhere and Bucky’s eyes bulged. He glared up at the ceiling, praying with all his might for a hole to form under his feet. Steve of course walked in, his pacing halting when he heard the song. He looked from the ceiling to Bucky with confusion and Bucky wanted to die, right now, God please be a mate!

“Uh... hi.”

“I didn’t do it.” The brunet defended, still mortified with the situation.

Why was it that whenever they were around each other, something had to make it awkward?

“The music?” Steve asked with a tilt of his head, a small smile pulling up the corner of his lips.

Bucky could only nod. “She did it.” He pointed to the ceiling and Steve laughed deep and low and oh fuck, that’s such a sexy sound.

“She’s worse than J.A.R.V.I.S.” the blond said smiling as he walked past Bucky to pour himself a cup of coffee.

He had heard from J.A.R.V.I.S. when he asked Natasha about Vision.

“I’m just trying to help, Captain.” The voice spoke up.

“Well, it’s a beautiful song.” Steve admitted. Thank God, he didn’t ask something like ‘help with what’. “Have you had breakfast already?”

Bucky blinked in confusion when he realized that Steve was talking to him. “Uh... no, I was about to make it actually.”

“You wanna go to the Starbucks down the block?” The blond mumbled into his mug.

I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Bucky could only stare uncertainly for a moment. Did Steve just ask him to go out for breakfast? Like the two of them. Out in public. Alone. With no other Avengers. Like a date.

Was it a date???

“Or, we don’t have to... We could stay here.” Steve finally said, squirming from the lack of reaction.

“No! Starbucks- yeah, it’s... it’s fine.”

He wanted to ask why. He wanted to ask so many questions and yet he just grabbed the moment by it’s balls and held on tight. If he could have at least one tiny moment alone with Steve, Bucky will cherish it forever and to hell the questions that were shooting in his brain.

Steve seemed relieved with the answer. He quickly swallowed the rest of his coffee, Bucky couldn’t even stomach his tea right now, he was still stunned about the whole thing.

They made their way to the nearest Starbucks in complete silence. Bucky not knowing what to do with his hands had shoved them inside the pockets of his denim jacket, Steve seemed more relaxed next to him. He was gorgeous, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a dark red henley that did nothing but hug each curve of muscle on that perfect body. Bucky’s mouth watered at the sight. He wanted to rip off the offending clothe of his chest and lick every inch of it.

The memory of Steve’s naked body was still fresh in his brain, and he had to force his eyes on the old woman that stood in the line in front of them. He imagined her naked, and that did it.

Sorry, old woman. He couldn’t afford to get a boner right now.

They ordered their drinks and food of choice and gave their names to the barista.

“Uh... Bucky.” He told the woman who wrote down ‘Uhhh Buckyon his cup. Very funny.

“Steve.” The blond said next and the barista wrote down ‘Not Captain America *wink*’.

They found an free table and sat together. Bucky was still nervous and could barely look at Steve who was sitting right in front him.

“I don’t understand why they always need to make jokes when they write the names in the cups.” It was the first thing out of Steve’s mouth. Bucky didn’t know how to answer that, he only looked up through his lashes and shrugged softly. He watched as Steve’s long fingers peeled the paper off his blueberry muffin and the memory of those same fingers that had been curiously trailing down his own last night hit Bucky with full force, making him swallow thickly and look away. “So... are you accommodating alright in your new apartment?”

What the fuck.

“It’s been a month.” Bucky muttered and the blond chuckled.

“I know, but... we haven’t really talked since you moved in.”

They never actually really talked...ever.

Bucky then looked up into Steve’s eyes. He was smiling carefully and seemed nervous to be boarding on that subject.

“You can’t really blame me, can you?” Bucky asked defensively.

“I just don’t understand why you keep avoiding me.” Steve looked like a kicked puppy now.

Bucky’s eyes grew big and incredulous. “Are you fucking serious?” The blond winced but Bucky continued. “Where should I start? That night you caught me mastur-”

“Bucky.” Steve interrupted sharply.

“Steve.” The brunet retorted with sass, now growing annoyed.

“Can we not talk about this now?” He pleaded in a lower tone. He was looking in panic at the people around them. No one was paying attention.

He shouldn’t have accepted to come here with Steve in the first place. There was a lot of unsaid between them and they should have talked about their situation first. What made him think this was a good idea?

“Sir, yes sir.” He spat out sarcastically. A glint of something Bucky couldn’t make out flashed through Steve’s eyes but it was quickly gone. “To answer your question, I’m accommodating really well. Lots of new friends, it almost feels like summer camp.” Steve raised his eyebrows when Bucky narrowed his eyes at him. The brunet noticed the amusement on the other’s face.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” The blond replied with a sneer and okay, Bucky could pick out the sass in that sentence. Fuck you, Steve.

“Wow.” He breathed out, impressed. “I don’t understand why people like you, you can be an asshole.”

“I don’t know Bucky, why do you like me?”

Holy shit. Who is that man!?

“Who says I like you?” He scoffed, trying to act like he had the upper hand.

Steve shrugged, but he had a small predatory smile stretching on his lips. As soon as one of the baristas that was passing by, asked them if they needed anything though, Steve wiped the smile off of his face and politely told her that they were fine.

Well, thanks for asking me if I need anything, before telling her we are fine.

“I’ll have a piece of that chocolate cake.” Bucky interjected, a sweet innocent smile directed at Steve. He never looked away from the blond. “Actually, give me all the pieces of every kind of cake you guys have.”

The barista stared at him in awe. Steve had both eyebrows nearly touching his hairline. “You want... all the cakes we have, sir?”

“Yes,” Bucky nodded. “He’s buying.”

The corner of Steve’s lips trembled, Bucky knew he was suppressing a smile. The woman then looked at Steve, waiting for a reaction.

“We’ll take the cakes. Thank you.”

“Very well, sir...”

Bucky watched the woman leave and when he turned to look back at Steve, the older man had a real smile plastered on his face now.

“You’re something else.” He said through a chuckle.




They were back at home, Steve was the one that held the four large boxes in his arms on his way here. As soon as they stepped into the common room, the blond put the boxes down on the kitchen table. ‘Bucky’ was written on all four of them.

“Well, thanks for the cakes. It’s been fun, but I have to-” He gestured towards the elevators.

Now that they were back home and completely alone, Bucky wanted to run away and hide in his apartment until Natasha’s return. He wasn’t ready to face Steve when they were all alone.

“Bucky, wait.” Steve grabbed his wrist and with a slight pull, he was able to turn the brunet around to face him. “We need to talk...”

Oh god, they’re too close.

Bucky could practically feel the warmth emitted from Steve’s body and Jesus, please no. They can’t have this conversation right now. Not like this.

The brunet was already trembling when he looked up into Steve’s eyes. Steve was still holding his wrist. They were so close... Steve could just bend over and-

“No. I don’t think...” He tried to protest.

“Bucky, please.”

“I don’t know what you want to talk about.” He lied.

“Why do you keep avoiding me?” The blond breathed out, letting his thumb caress Bucky’s wrist.

The younger man was quick to take a step back, eyes wild as his breath came out in pants. “What the hell, Steve! You fucking know why! What the hell are you playing at?”

“I’m not playing-”

“Well it sure looks like it! I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve by doing this-”


“No, shut up. You want me to give you the list you already know about?! Let’s start from the beginning then, shall we? First you burst into my apartment and catch me masturbating with a fucking Captain America vibrator! Then, you’re being weird when I’m around Barney. You dared lie to me, telling me Natasha was looking for me and I’m still confused about that shit, by the way.”

Steve wasn’t moving, he stood still as Bucky’s voice raised higher and more hysterical with each word leaving his mouth.

“I was doing fine ignoring you, when we moved in. But you’re everywhere!” He shouted the last part, then in a smaller, broken tone, “You’re everywhere...”

“Bucky...” The blond tried, taking a step towards him but Bucky flinched back. He raised his hand, eyes wide as he shook his head.

“No! I know that you know!” He gritted out, frustrated. “I was never subtle was I? But you-” he let out a chuckle. “I can’t get a read on you! You’re angry when I’m with Barney! You come down your girlfriend’s throat when you’re looking at me in the eye! You touch my fingers when it’s dark and I’m least expecting it! You’re always looking at me! You know the effect you have on me, but I don’t know what you’re doing, maybe this is all a fucking game to yo- mmph.”

The harsh push of Steve’s lips against his own knocked the air out of his lungs. It took him a total of three seconds to realize what was happening, and when he did, Bucky’s body turned rigid. What the hell, what the hell, what the motherfucking hell!!! Steve is kissing him. His hands were cupping the younger man’s face and his lips, although they were soft, staid persistent.

It took him another three seconds to react. Bucky completely melted, allowing his own arms to wrap around the taller man’s neck. He took a step forward, making their chests collide. This feels so right. When he parted his lips and tried to deepen the kiss though...

“Well, this is awkward.”

Both men jumped back from each other.

“Clint?!” Bucky looked up and sure enough Clint was in the vents.

How long? How? What the fuck!

“Clint this... this is not what you think.” Steve assured the best he could and Bucky felt a pang of hurt at his words. This was exactly what Clint thought (saw) it was. He looked up at the blond with a lost expression, but Steve refused to look at him.

“Sure, Cap.” Clint chuckled but Steve was turning scarlet.

“I’m serious! This means nothing.”

A loud shatter echoed somewhere; Bucky realized he was the only one that was able to hear his heart break.

“Steve...” Clint started carefully and jumped off the vents, “what the hell, man.” The archer said in an accusing tone when noticed the state Bucky was in.

All Steve did was to shake his head and rush out of the room.

“Bucky...” the brunet felt Clint cup his face, but he couldn’t see him. “Bucky- fuck. Hey buddy, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Breathe with me. Breathe Bucky!”

“I ca- I can’t.” The brunet panted desperately. “Clint...” He whimpered. “Nat. Natasha. Please.”

The archer panicked then. “Shit, yeah okay. Okay. F.R.I.D.A.Y. get Natasha here, quickly!”

“Yes, Mr Barton.” the A.I. replied as Clint helped Bucky to sit on the sofa.

The younger man had fat tears building up in his eyes that refused to fall just yet, he glazed over at nothing as Clint tried to reassure him. ‘Natasha is coming. Natasha will be here soon. Breathe, Bucky.

Steve said what just happened between them meant nothing. Steve had kissed him- he was the one that kissed him, and it meant nothing. He really was playing a game then... Fuck. Why was he doing this? What was so appealing in toying with someone’s feelings and watch them break? What was the point of all this mess?

Natasha walked in with a frown. “Clint? What- Oh my God, Bucky!” She rushed to them and as soon as she was sitting close to him, Bucky pressed his face against her chest and finally broke down. Big awful sobs were muffled against her but Natasha wrapped her arms around his head, keeping him close to her. He felt her cheek touching the top of his head and he could faintly hear her ask Clint what had happened. The archer only told her what he saw, and as he was nearing the end of his explanation, Natasha started running her fingers through Bucky’s long hair, trying to soothe him.

“Ooh, you make me live.” Bucky sniffled, recognizing instantly the song Natasha was softly singing to him. “Whatever this world can give to me. It's you, you're all I see. Ooh, you make me live now honey. Ooh, you make me live.” The brunet squeezed his arms around her waist. “You're the best friend, that I ever had. I've been with you such a long time, you're my sunshine. And I want you to know that my feelings are true, I really love you. You're my best friend.”

His sobs were slowly calming down.


May 2014.

Bucky had walked home after work, the night was pleasant with the starts shining bright in the dark sky. He was holding in his hands two boxes of pizzas, and it had been a pain in the ass to keep them balanced in one hand as he tried to unlock the door of his apartment with the other.

“Darling, I’m home! I brought pizza.”

He put the boxes down on the countertop and his keys on the little key hanger next to the door.

“Nat?! If you don’t hurry, I’ll eat all of it by myself!” He shouted with a smile.

When he got no answer though, he frowned. He was sure Natasha was home. She had the day off, and her own set of keys were still on the hanger. Worried, he decided to make his way down the corridor that lead to both their bedrooms and the bathroom. “Natasha?” He tried again with no luck. So he knocked on her door.

Again, no answer.

When he tried to open her door though, it was locked.

Bucky let out a deep sigh. “Nat... come out, please.” He understood something was wrong and Natasha was keeping everything inside instead of opening up to him. “Hey, Nat... Whatever is going on, you can count on me... You know that right?” He mumbled through the door. “You’re my best friend, I don’t want you to think that you’re a burden to me because you’re so far from it. I just wish you could trust me enough to open up to me...”

A whole minute passed and Bucky was about to give up and leave Natasha alone when he heard a faint: ‘I trust you...”

“Then, I’ll sit right here and wait for you. When you’re ready, come out and talk to me, I’m not moving even if I have to stay sitting by your door all night.”

After ten more minutes, and Bucky’s ass starting to hurt from the position on the floor, he decided to quickly go and get his guitar in his bedroom. When he sat back down at Natasha’s door, he started playing the notes.

“Ooh, you make me live.”


Natasha kept running her fingers softly through Bucky’s long locks. “I've been wandering round, but I still come back to you. In rain or shine, you've stood by me boy*. I'm happy at home. You're my best friend.” Bucky wasn’t crying anymore. His cheeks were still wet, and he was still sniffling here and there, but Natasha’s soft voice was helping him simmer down. “Ooh, you make me live, whenever this world is cruel to me. I got you to help me forgive. Ooh, you make me live now honey. Ooh, you make me live.”

“You're the first one, when things turn out bad. You know I'll never be lonely. You're my only one, and I love the things, I really love the things that you do. You're my best friend.”




He doesn’t know exactly how long had passed, but when Bucky opened his eyes, he was laying on the sofa of the common living room. Natasha was still massaging his scalp with the tips of her fingers and he had at some point, moved to lay his head on her lap.

“Hey...” Natasha said, voice soft. “How are you feeling?”

Bucky looked up at her from where he was laying. Immediately, the reason why they were here came back to him and his only reaction was to cuddle up against her stomach.

“Like the biggest idiot to ever walk on Earth.” He declared, making Natasha hum low in her chest.

“You’re not an idiot, babe. He should be ashamed of what he did, he was clearly a huge asshole and I’m so disappointed right now. I could have expected this shit from anyone in this place, but not him.” Bucky noticed how tense Natasha’s voice had turned.

“I’m sure Bruce would never do something like that, he’s pretty chill...”

“You know what I mean.” She chuckled and started playing with Bucky’s hair once more when he nosed at her stomach, demanding attention. “He just really disappointed me.”

“Yeah... well, at least now I know. I nearly believed he liked me you know.” The brunet scoffed. “I’m pathetic.”

“Hey, will you stop denigrating yourself like that? Anyone in your place would have reacted the same, Bucky. You know I hate it when you speak so low on yourself.” Natasha scolded.

“I know... sorry. I just feel so bad right now. I can’t believe I fell for it.” He really hated himself for falling so easily into Steve’s dirty game. Luckily, he had Natasha. He’ll always have Natasha. “Where’s Clint?” He asked, remembering that Nat’s boyfriend had been there with him when it all turned to shit.

“He left, after he told me what he saw. He knew it was best to leave us alone.”

“No one came in?” Bucky’s brows knit. He hoped Steve didn’t see him in this state.

“Tony and Pepper did. Bruce too, they’re all worried. Wanted to know what had happened but I didn’t say anything.” Natasha assured him. “They like you, you know? They’re worried for you.”

That made Bucky smile. “I like them all, too. They feel kind of like a family...”

“We’re family.” His best friend affirmed. “And family is here for each other.”

Chapter Text

An army of robots.

When Maria told her boss about it, she had an accusing stare on her face. Tony knew then that she thought he was the one behind this again, like with Ultron. He couldn’t believe it. He may have fucked up in the past, but he learned from his mistakes. If Ultron (his creation) didn’t work out, then he wasn’t about to try again and risk the world’s safety once more. The genius felt insulted that she dared think it was his work.

“Stop looking at me like that, Hill. I didn’t do it.” He rolled his eyes.

“It looks suspisciously like that thing with Ultron. They want to bring peace to the world by destroying it.” The elegant brunette said, as she walked along with him down the hall making her heels clatter with each step she made. “If it’s not you, then someone probably loved that idea of yours and is trying to make it happen.”

“Hey, my intentions were to help when I created Ultron! I never meant for it to turn into a disaster.” The billionaire defended.

“Anyway,” the woman was clearly dismissing subject. “Oh look, we’re here!” She exclaimed with false happiness and a huge sarcastic smile as she opened the doors to the conference room.

The team was already waiting for them. All except Capsicle, Sam, and Clint, who he guessed was in the vents. “Where are the others?” The billionaire asked in an exasperated tone. “Capsicle is never late.”

“He’s probably avoiding me. Smart man.” Natasha answered, voice flat, that sent chills down his body.

“What’d he do?” He hadn’t seen Steve in over a week now. Tony didn’t think much of it, since he had been mostly busy at the lab, which meant that he hadn’t seen much of all of them, except Bruce. The only answer he got from Natasha though, was a glare as she sat there, her arms crossed.

Alright. Not get involved then.

“Okay...” Tony made his way to his seat. “Maybe we should start any-”

“We’re here!” Sam’s voice said from the opened doors. Like Natasha, he had his arms crossed and was narrowing his eyes at Steve as he watched the blond walk into the room. “Had to go get this big guy.”

Steve looked honestly like shit. He had a very short beard on his cheeks and chin, his hair was big tangled mess and he walked towards his seat with his shoulders sagged. Sam followed close behind him, shooting daggers at the back of his friend’s head.

When Steve walked past Natasha though, he turned from pale to paler. The redhead had a clear unhappy look on her face and Steve ducked his head, refusing to meet her eye and sat down far away from her.

Sensing the tension in the room, Tony had to speak up. “Is anyone going to explain?”

“Tony.” Bruce warned next to him and when he looked over at his friend, the man shook his head as if to say ‘drop it’. How could he drop this? There was tension in their team! How were they supposed to work together in this state?

“Clint?” Maria inquired next to him.

“Up here.” His voice came from the ceiling.

“Alright, everyone’s here then.” Maria started. “Let’s start then, shall we?”

No one answered, the silence stretched on and if anyone walked in right now, they would probably laugh at the sight of them.

Clint’s legs dangled from the opened vent. Natasha was sitting right under said legs, arms still crossed and murder written on her face as she kept her eyes on Steve. Steve, looked like a kicked puppy, shoulders sagged and head ducked down. Sam was sitting next to his friend, he looked upset, but he unlike Natasha, was no longer glaring at Steve. Instead, he kept his eyes focused straight ahead. Thor looked like a kid between a parent’s fight, he had big curious eyes as he took in everyone’s expression in the room. Vision was just... there, not really understanding emotions. Wanda was picking at her almost gone nail polish, a nervous habit she had. Bruce kept his eyes on his tablet and Tony was in the middle of all this mess, looking incredulously from one to the other.

After Maria informed them on the robots, and they made their strategies -without Steve, because apparently he refused to speak, he’d simply nod or shrug when they’d ask him-, they decided it was probably best to go all together for this one. They will need to tell Peter when he’s back from school.

Even though she seemed reluctant to leave for some reason, Natasha agreed on being a part of the mission. “But,” she exclaimed after accepting. “If we all go, I want Bucky to come with us.” That got an interesting reaction out of Steve. The blond flinched but Natasha paid him no mind. “I refuse to leave him alone.”

“Nat... You know it’s dangerous.” Clint tried to make his girlfriend see reason.

“Either he comes with us, or I won’t go.” The redhead said stubbornly.

“He could stay with me in the quinjet, since I’ll only be needed for Code Green, which is unlikely to happen.” Bruce said and Natasha was quick to agree with a nod.

“I don’t agree.” Steve spoke up -which surprised Tony- and Natasha threw a murderous glare in his direction. “No offence Bruce but what if you turn into the Hulk when he’s there and defenceless? He should stay here, where it’s safe.”

“I suggest you shut up, Steve.” Natasha spat out the words. “Bucky is perfectly aware of the risks, and he’s helped Bruce calm down in more than one occasion.”

“He’s a civilian!” Steve gritted between his teeth.

The tension was growing stronger, Tony noticed. Everybody jumped back when the loud bang of Natasha’s fist hitting the table resonated through the room.

“He’s my friend!” She shouted now standing on her feet and about ready to strangle the blond. “How dare you-”

“Nat...” Clint jumped off the vent and rushed to stand in front of his girlfriend, blocking her view of Steve and instantly, she relaxed.

Tony wasn’t stupid, he could see this went a lot deeper than what they were saying. Natasha had never reacted like that before. Something bad must have happened for her to lose her temper like that.

“Hill,” Tony turned to the woman. “Bucky is coming with us. He’ll stay in the quinjet with Bruce.” The woman nodded her understatement. Steve though, looked at Tony as if he had been betrayed. The man simply raised his eyebrow at him, and gave him a long look that clearly said ‘we’ll talk about this later.’




As soon as the team started to leave the conference room, Natasha grabbed Steve’s arm. The blond looked down from where he was restrained to Natasha’s face with a frown. The others pretending to not see what was happening left the room quickly, leaving behind a very angry Russian ex-assassin, Clint who stayed with Natasha just in case, and Steve, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“I know what you’re going to say-” Their captain started but the redhead cut him off sharply.

“Oh Rogers, you have no idea.” She let go of his arm but her eyes were still cold and murderous, enough to make Steve stay still. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, to think that you could play with his feelings like that,” Steve looked from her to Clint, but the archer was giving him nothing but an apologetic expression. “but that was coward, and I’m so disgusted with you right now. I really, really want to punch you in the face, but unfortunately, I promised him I wouldn’t touch you.”

The blond squirmed but kept his eyes on Natasha, trying to show courage.

“What do you want? Hm? What was your goal, Rogers? Fucking say something or I’ll break the promise I made him!”

“I just...” He started but left his mouth agape, not knowing how to finish that sentence.

Natasha was seeing red, Clint’s presence was the only thing keeping her from punching the taller man, but if the idiot didn’t say something and soon, she was going to do something she might regret later.

“Are you gay?” She asked bluntly making the man turn crimson. “Bisexual? Pansexual? Bi-curious? Or the biggest asshole ever?”

“This isn’t easy for me...” Steve mumbled, looking down at his feet.

“Not easy for you?!” Natasha scoffed.

“I think, you like Bucky.” Clint spoke up, surprising both Steve and Natasha. “But, you’ve never been with a man before, right?” Steve shook his head. “You’re scared.”

Natasha looked up at Steve curiously and noticed the tears that were building up in his eyes. She had never seen Steve cry before, and it made her feel uneasy, though she didn’t show it.

“I’m sorry I hurt him... I never meant to. You were... You were there and I panicked.”

He sounded so pitiful and hurt, but it wasn’t enough to make Natasha forgive him. He had hurt the the most important person in her life, and the need to hurt back was flowing like poison through her veins.

She took a step closer to him. “’Sorry’ doesn’t change what you did. It doesn’t take back the pain you’ve put him through, and we aren’t the ones you should be apologizing to. Grow a pair, Rogers. And I swear to God, if you ever hurt him again, if I ever see him in the state he was in because of you, I will rip each bone in your body so painfully slow and leave you to die in agony.”

With that she left the room, still resisting the urge to punch Steve’s beautiful face.

Clint who was left alone with a very pale Steve, pursed his lips and walked up to the taller man to pat his shoulder softly. “She’s just really hurt.” He tells the man. “Natasha and Bucky are kind of like... man I don’t know, their relationship is crazy but I guess I could say they’re kind of like soulmates. When one hurts, the other is suffering the same pain.”

“He’s never going to forgive me...” Steve declared in a small tone.

“You fucked up bad, Steve. Guy’s really hurt. I don’t know if he will ever let you close to him again, but... I know one thing and that is that Bucky has one hell of a big heart, he will forgive you eventually.”




The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.

We don’t need no water, let the motherfucker burn.

Burn, motherfucker, burn.

The music was loud coming from down the hall, so loud that it resonated throughout the rest of the apartments. Sam grimaced as he sat on Steve’s single couch, his friend was laying on the sofa, curled up in a thick blanket, eyes glazed over. They had been here in silence for over ten minutes now, the only sounds disturbing the quiet was the loud angry music coming from Natasha and Bucky’s apartment.

Steve had finally told him what had happened with Bucky, and Sam really was disappointed with his friend. After coming out and admitting his feelings for Bucky to him, after breaking-up with Sharon, after everything, Steve had gone and fucked up. When he came this morning to get Steve out of his apartment before the meeting, he still had no idea of what had happened. He was just really annoyed that his friend was once again keeping whatever was upsetting him inside and making him worried because this time it really looked bad.

Steve didn’t shower, he barely ate, he stopped shaving and he was hanging around in t-shirts and sweatpants.

Now that he knew, Sam had to resonate his friend, but honestly, he didn’t know how he could help. He didn’t know if Steve could fix this mess.

“I should go apologize...” Steve murmured to himself, keeping his eyes glazed over on nothing.

“I think it’s a good start, but I wouldn’t go down there right now if I were you.” Sam warned his friend when I don’t need a man by The Pussycat Dolls started resonating in the apartment.

Sam watched his friend chuckle humorlessly. “I deserve a good punch. I’m sure he’d appreciate it too.” The blond wrapped the blanket tighter around himself and Sam felt so bad for him. He looked really sad and lost. “You think I can fix this, Sam?”

“I don’t know...” He answered honestly, because he really didn’t know. “But... you need to concentrate on the objective we have tonight, the mission. The world still needs you, Steve.”

“What good can I do to the world, I only know how to hurt.” He said it so lowly that Sam was sure he wasn’t supposed to hear it. He still did though.

“For the love of God, Steve. I don’t even know what to say! You fucked up yes, but man you need to get a grip. It’s not going to get fixed if you keep just laying there doing nothing.” Some one kick some sense into that thick skull, Sam begged internally. “Get up.” When he got no reaction from his friend, Sam stood up and grabbed the hedge of the blanket, quickly pulling it off of his friend’s body. “Get up, Steve!” The blond whimpered and threw a glare in Sam’s direction. “Get in the damn shower and get ready for tonight. I’m not joking. Either that, or I’ll tell the others you’re out of this mission.”

“You wouldn’t.” Steve accused.

“Try me.” Sam retorted.

They stared at each other for a full minute, daring. Steve finally let out a deep annoyed sigh and sat up. “Fine!”

Sam had a pleased little smile on his face.




Clint followed Natasha down the hall. They needed to get ready for the mission, and Natasha still had to tell Bucky that he was coming with them. They were halfway to her apartment when the sound of an electric guitar reached their ears. Both stopped dead in their tracks and looked at each other with tired looks.

“He’s still doing it...” Clint assumed.

“Yup.” Natasha agreed as the velvety voice of Alex Turner started singing.

His girlfriend opened the door just as the singer said in a sarcastic tone 'But just don’t sit down, ‘cause I’ve moved your chair.'  Followed by the loud mix of guitar, bass and drums.

“BUCKY!” Natasha yelled to be heard with no success.

Her best friend was sitting on the floor of their living room. He was wearing a pair of dark ripped jeans, an old tank top with holes on it and he had his hair tied up in a bun.

Clint squirmed where he stood when he watched the younger man just sit there, eyes closed as he banged his fists on the floor and shook his head following the beat of the music. It only seemed normal that the phase after sadness would be anger, but the music was so loud that Clint could see the photographs on the walls and the decorations in their shelves literally shaking.

Natasha walked up to his friend and smacked the back of his head, annoyed. Bucky then broke from his trans and glared up at his friend. “What the fuck!” Clint could read from his lips.

“That’s enough, Bucky!” Natasha yelled, took the remote from her friend’s hand and stopped the music.

The brunet stood on his feet, anger on his features. “Give it back!”

“No, we have a mission tonight, all of us. So, you’re going to get dressed and you’re coming with us.” The dark-haired man scoffed at that and Natasha narrowed her eyes at him.

“No way, I’m not going anywhere with him.” He didn’t need to say who was ‘him’ for them to understand.

“Well, I’m not leaving you here.” Clint knew why Natasha was so adamant in wanting Bucky to come with them. She had admitted to him that she was scared to leave Bucky alone because he could be very self-destructive.

“You can’t force me to go! Besides, I have a date tonight!”

“You think that’s gonna help?” His girlfriend let out a short humorless laugh and smacked her friend’s arm. “You won’t forget him like that!”

Clint watched Bucky’s jaw clench as he glared daggers at his best friend. “Shut up.” He gritted out.

“You know what?” The redhead raised her hands, sounding defeated, “Fine, you’re a big boy. Do whatever you want, James.” She pushed the remote against Bucky’s chest, the younger man snitching it from her. Natasha then turned to him, eyes cold but Clint noticed the glint of hurt reflecting on them. “Let’s go, Clint.”

She headed out the apartment and Clint looked apologetically towards Bucky before he followed his girlfriend out the apartment, as soon as the door was close behind him, the music started again, loud as ever.

Chapter Text

May 2014


The door squeaked softly opened behind him. He was strumming his fingers gently through the strings of his guitar, creating soft, random melodies. Small pale hands reached out and took the guitar from his grip gently.

Bucky looked up at his best friend. For the first time since they’ve known each other, Natasha seemed scared. He said nothing though, he waited until she was ready.

She put the guitar down and carefully moved to sit between his bent legs. Bucky instantly wrapped an arm around her middle pulling her flush against his chest. He felt her muscles relax, one by one. She let her head fall back against his shoulder and for a moment, they simply sat there in silence.

“The world... nearly found out the truth.” Natasha’s voice sounded so small Bucky ached for her. “Fury has it covered now, but they almost found out the truth... about me.”

He turned his face towards her and let the tip of his nose caress her cheek. “You’re safe.” He whispered against her skin.

Bucky had no idea what she was talking about, but she seemed terrified and he really hated to see such a strong woman look so scared. He’ll never let anyone hurt his friend. His Natasha.

“I want to tell you, about me... about where I was raised, all the terrible things I’ve done.” She let the silence stretch for a moment. “I’m terrified Bucky... You’re going to hate me.” Her voice was no louder than a whisper.

“Hey... Nat,” he soothed, his thumb rubbing soft circles on her stomach. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not ready to get yourself through it. But babe, if you do tell me, whatever it is, and I mean it-... there is absolutely nothing in this world that could possibly make me hate you. I am never, ever leaving you.” Bucky saw the single tear running down his best friend’s cheek, “You’ll have to deal with me until we’re gray haired and sharing a room in a nursing home, we’ll be all wrinkled and ugly and I’ll still be annoying your ass daily.”

She let out a breathy laugh and that made Bucky smile brightly.

“I love you, so much.” she said softly, cuddling up against his chest.

“I love you, so much more.”


As the last notes of the song came to an end, resonating through Bucky’s skull, the young man already had a river of tears running down his face.

What had he done?

Anger was still rushing through his veins- was it a reason to treat the person he loves the most like shit, though? He went too far. He let the anger consume him and he had just pushed Natasha away when she was trying to help him. He knew it. He knew he should’ve gone after her and yet, he didn’t move a single muscle. He was an awful friend, an awful person.

This means nothing.

He squeezed his eyes shut.

I don’t know Bucky, why do you like me?

The need to hurt himself burned under his skin like fire.

“Shall I call Ms Romanov, Bucky?” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice startled him. He forgot about her, he couldn’t do anything with her keeping an eye on him, she’d tell Tony. Or worse, she’d tell Natasha.

They had left on a mission, Nat was worried enough as it was. He wasn’t about to let the world turn into chaos just because he allowed F.R.I.D.A.Y. call his friend. And he knew that Natasha wouldn’t hesitate, she’d be by his side in a heartbeat.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, he grabbed it with trembling fingers and wiped his tears with his free hand. It was a text, from his date.

Brock: On my way, love. I’ll be there in thirty. Need anything?

He hadn’t seen Brock in months now. The last time they saw each other, the older man was swallowing down his moans as he pounded him against the wall of the bathroom at Bucky’s workplace.

JB.Barnes: Just your cock.

JB.Barnes: And alcohol. I need alcohol. Lots of it.

Brock: You’re gonna need to wait until we’re at the hotel, sugar.

JB.Barnes: Just hurry!

He put his phone back in his pocket and remembered he still had to give the AI an answer. “I have a date tonight. Don’t wait for me, if you... do that kind of thing?” Was she like a sort of mother? That worried and waited until their kids were back home safely? Bucky snorted at the thought and put his black vans on.

“I’m not sure you should leave the facility in the state you’re in-”

“I’m fine!” He shouted to the ceiling, instantly regretting it. He was just tired of everyone worrying for him. He was fine!

Deep down he knew it wasn’t true, he really felt like shit and he knew he would most likely end up doing something stupid... it wasn’t enough to make him change his mind.

“Alright, Bucky.” It was weird, because she was just a voice in the ceiling and yet Bucky could almost hear disappointment in her voice.


November 2003

The ticking of the clock was the only sound keeping him company. His stormy eyes followed the clock hand.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

The room was dark but his eyes had adjusted well now. He should be sleeping though, he had to be up in 4 hours and get ready for school, but he just couldn’t sleep. He was too worried to be able to fall asleep.

Alex should’ve been here hours ago.

Usually, his boyfriend waits until around 11, to make sure Bucky’s parents and sisters are asleep before he climbs up to his window. Seeing as Bucky’s room is the furthest away from his parents’ it was easier for Alex to be comfortable enough to spend most nights in Bucky’s bed.

Now though, it was 3:14 in the morning and his boyfriend still wasn’t here. This wasn’t a great situation. Bucky accepted the fact that Alex wasn’t ready to come out, but it was in situations like this that he really, really hated it. He couldn’t contact anyone to ask about him. Because no one knew they were together. Hell, no one even knew they were speaking, Alex would always ignore him at school. Sometimes he’d catch a smirk, or a longing look from him but that’s all. And now, all he could do was sit there and watch his clock ticking away as he tried to control his breathing and heartbeat.

It was nearing 4 am when he heard the window slide open and a large body stumble ungraciously on his bedroom floor. Bucky didn’t even have the time to let out a relieved breath because his boyfriend was laughing and reeked alcohol as he stayed unmoving on his hands and knees on his floor.

“Alex!” Bucky hissed and rushed to his boyfriend to help him up.

“Ohhh, baby!” His boyfriend exclaimed happily and too loudly. Bucky glanced towards his door worriedly before he gave his attention back to the taller boy.

“Shh, my parents.” Bucky warned and watched Alex turn rigid and pale in his arms.

He helped his boyfriend to sit on his bed. Before he could start to help him take off his clothes to sleep though, Alex grabbed Bucky by the hips and forcefully pulled him down on the bed.

For someone as drunk as Alex was, Bucky was impressed how quick and efficient his movements were. The blond moved to lay on top of him, forcing himself between Bucky’s legs.

Bucky giggled softly and rolled his eyes, “Babe, you’re drunk.”

“Sobering up, I know what I’m doing. Fuck, I missed you.” He bent over to kiss Bucky’s lips.

He allowed the kiss, until he smelled it-

Mixed with the alcohol, a sweet flowery perfume on Alex’s clothes.

He was quick to react by pushing his hands flat against his boyfreind’s chest and breaking the kiss. He forced Alex off of him and sat up, staring at his boyfriend with big, incredulous eyes.

“Wh-why do you smell like that?” He asked in a small tense voice.

Alex just lay there, looking back at him with a frown on his face. “Like what baby?”

“Like some chick has been rubbing herself all over you...” His boyfriend sighed and broke the eye contact, his lips were pursed and that was enough to confirm his suspicions. “You... you fucked someone else?”

“Yes.” Came the blunt truth from Alex’s lips and Bucky froze up.

It’s like time stopped with a simple uttered word. His vision got blurry and Bucky realized he had tears building up in his eyes. Alex sat up and reached out to cup his cheek, his thumb caressing the corner of Bucky’s trembling lips.

“She meant absolutely nothing to me, James. You know you’re the one I love, don’t you baby?” Alex said in a soothing voice.

“Then... why? Why did you do it?” Bucky asked, feeling his tears fall from his eyes.

His boyfriend clicked his tongue and slowly pulled him against his chest, where Bucky could smell the evidence of Alex’s previous activity.

“I need to keep the cover, sweetheart. Stacy made a move on me in front of my friends, I couldn’t just refuse her when they were all expecting I jump her. You understand James, right?” No, he didn’t understand. He was so hurt. How could Alex do this to him? “Baby,” his boyfriend forced him to look into his green eyes and pressed a soft kiss on his trembling lips. “Sweetheart, honey- I love you. Just you.” He pushed Bucky to lay back on the bed. “Let me prove it to you...”

Bucky’s eyes shut when Alex mouthed down his neck, his hands already working to get him off his boxers. “I love you.” Bucky breathed out shakily, tears rolling down to his ears.

He did. He was in love with Alexander. He was hurt. But in love.

“I love you too,” Alex flicked his tongue over Bucky’s light brown nipple, his hand stroking him to hardness. “They mean nothing. You mean everything. You’re my world. It’s just you, baby.”

Bucky cried all throughout Alex pounded into him and kept breathing out he was the only one that mattered.

He believed him.




They made it to an hotel in the city, Bucky barely glanced at the name of the building, he just needed to get in their room and quickly.

He waited for Brock to take care of the payment and soon they were in the elevator taking them to their room. If not for the old couple inside with them, Bucky would have already been flush against Brock and devouring his mouth. He tapped his foot impatiently, Brock noticed and had a small smirk stretching on his lips.

“Someone’s in a hurry.” Brock whispered against his ear.

You have no idea.

The doors opened, Bucky smiled politely at the old couple before he rushed out, Brock right behind him. He followed the man to their door, and as soon as the door was opened and they were inside, Bucky slammed it closed behind him. He threw his denim jacket to the floor and was already grabbing the hem of his tank top, pulling it off his body with quick efficacity.

“Clothes.” He demanded, throwing his top to the floor.

Brock watched him in amusement. “Mhm, I thought we’d have a drink first.”

“What for? Sex now. Drink later.” He approached the older man and curled his fingers around his tie, forcing him to lean closer. He looked up through his lashes and caught the man’s bottom lip between his teeth, giving it a small light suck. “I want you to fuck me so hard I forget the past week.”

“Bad week?” Brock inquired, his hands caressing up the younger man’s sides until his thumbs reached the nipples. He arched an eyebrow and stepped back to look down at his fingers. “This is new,” He grinned and tapped his thumb lightly against Bucky’s left nipple which was now pierced.

A heavy breath escaped his lips. It was the first time someone touched his nipple ever since he had it pierced and the sensation was so good. He always had sensitive nipples but with a piercing, he was sure if it was played with just right, he could come from that alone.

Losing patience, Bucky pushed the older man towards the bed, with a final hard push Brock fell back on the mattress with a huff. Bucky was quick to straddle him and was already rocking his hips, aligning their cocks just right. He shuddered from the feeling and felt Brock’s hands grip his hips hard.

“Ohhh, you’re dominating tonight, sweetheart?” Bucky answered by fisting tightly the older man’s tie, his other hand flat against Brock’s abs and rocked his hips harder making them both groan. “Fuck, baby. You’re so gorgeous.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He didn’t want compliments. He wanted to be fucked, roughly. “Less talking, more-” Brock pinched his nipple hard, making him stop his back and forth movements. The feeling had him throw his head back with a groan and squeeze his thighs on the older man’s hips. “Fuck. Yes. That!

Brock seemed pleased with the reaction, moved himself in a sitting position, wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist, pulling him flush against his chest and sucked the younger man’s nipple into his mouth. The rocking of Bucky’s hips started again, rougher this time.

“Shit-” He panted, tangling his fingers on the man’s short hair and pulled hard, enough to make him groan in pain. “Get off, I want your cock!” Before he could react, Bucky pushed the man flat on his back.

“I’ve never seen you like this before.” Brock said, eyes shining and marveled on the much younger man.

Bucky never replied, instead he got off the bed to take his pants and boxers off. Not wanting to waste any more time, he simply unbuttoned Brock’s trousers and pulled the layers of clothes low enough to free his cock. He made a quick work of rolling the condom over said cock and applying a generous amount of lube.

“Sweetheart, wait! We need to get you opened up and read-”

“I got it covered.” Bucky assured him as he climbed back on top of the man. He reached between his legs and watched Brock’s face turning from confused to pleased when he saw the plug.

“Aw fuck, you got yourself ready for me baby?” Brock asked already moving his hands to Bucky’s hips.

Just wanted to get this over with.

“Yes.” Bucky put his plug down on the bedside table before he reached for the man’s cock and aligned the tip to his entrance. “Fuck me.” he demanded breathily and the man bent his legs to lift up his hips and slowly started to push inside.

“Oh, I almost forgot how tight you are baby, fuck even after having that plug in you...” Bucky flattened his hands against the wall and sank himself further down until all of Brock’s length fitted inside him.

His own cock hard and heavy between his legs, started to bounce as he barely gave himself time to adjust and was already raising up and sinking down in fast, short movements. If he closed his eyes tight, he could pretend... no. Don’t think about him!

“Fuck me harder! Harder, dammit!” He was frustrated for even daring to want to pretend he was with that someone else. He wanted to stop thinking about ... him. Brock spanked his ass with a growl, lifted Bucky off of his cock and was quick to turn him around and force him on all fours as he moved to stand behind him.

Another hard spank had Bucky throw his head back with a loud moan. Yes. Brock pushed inside in one go, squeezed his hip with one hand and fisted the other one around his long hair. He slammed into him with full force, making their skins smack loudly together. “Like this?” The man spat out, spanked his ass cheek and pulled on his hair as he started setting up and quick, rough pace.

“F-fuck, fuck! Yes.”




The robots, which were more like metallic ninjas, had been a pain to stop. The team was in Dengfeng in China, and while they were all kicking robot’s asses, Natasha with a rage that Tony could almost compare to the Hulk’s, Tony had the mission of finding out who was behind this mess and why create ninja robots. He was kind of jealous, ninja robots were the coolest thing he’d seen the whole week. To his surprise, the genius that created this was none other than a monk. The young man was sitting in the middle of an empty temple, probably meditating while the world around him was getting destroyed. He had tried to make the man speak, but after ten minutes of pure silence, F.R.I.D.A.Y. told him that the man had made the vow of silence since it was a pretty common thing for monks to do.

Great, how were they going to get answers then?

While Tony found the room full of old machines and computers in the temple, he could finally hack it and get some information. The monk had followed him willingly, never speaking which made Tony feel very uneasy and once they were all inside the quinjet, with the monk handcuffed, Tony watched him closely.

“Okay, you can’t speak, but... you can write it down, right?” He said, handing him a piece of paper and a pen.

“Tony, it’s not how it works.” Bruce told him sympathetically. “They take their vow very seriously.”

The billionaire groaned, annoyed. “Alright! We’ll see what we can do once we get home.” Speaking of- “F.R.I.D.A.Y., is everything alright at home?” Tony murmured, when he noticed all the others either trying to rest or speaking among each other. F.R.I.D.A.Y. was smart enough to understand that she must answer in his com only.

“I’m afraid Bucky has been-”

“Bucky?” He interrupted. “Why do you call him Bucky?” he asked genuinely surprised.

“He asked me to call him that.”

“What’s wrong with Bucky?”


Tony tensed up and very slowly turned to face Natasha who was watching him closely, arms crossed. He tried for an innocent act, already pursing his lips and shaking his head as if he had no idea what she was talking about-

“Stark!” She raised her voice making him flinch only slightly.

Defeated, Tony nodded and let out a sigh. “Share with the class, F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

Immediately, her voice was loud in the quinjet for all to hear. “I’m afraid Bucky has been troubled. We also have a guest.”

“Who?” Bruce spoke up first.

“One of Bucky’s friends.”

“But how is he?” Peter asked next, Tony noticed how they were all worried.

“He’s making a mess of the communal rooms, I’m afraid he’s also very drunk. I could do nothing, he won’t listen to me.”

“Where is Pepper?” Wanda asked Tony.

“Pepper is out for business, do I have to remind you all that she runs a compa-”

A loud smack echoed in the quinjet, followed by a groan and all turned just in time to watch Steve, head thrown back, hand holding a bloodied nose.

“Fuck!” Steve shouted.

“YOU DID THIS! IT’S YOUR FAULT! I TOLD YOU- PUT ME DOWN CLINT!” Natasha yelled hysterically just as she was about to throw another punch.

“It’s not me, babe!” Clint exclaimed from the cockpit.

Thor was the one restraining Natasha in his big arms and stopping her from attacking Steve again. The redhead was kicking her legs and waving her arms with no success. The sight of it would’ve been funny if they weren’t all shocked and confused and a little bit scared of her reaction.

“Natasha, don’t-” Thor tried and choked on air when she elbowed him on the ribs.


“Holy shit!” Peter exclaimed just as Tony breathed out “What the fuck.”


“Stark! Someone! Take the fucking wheel!” Clint shouted and Bruce was the one to rush and take his place. Once he was free to go, Clint ran up to his girlfriend. “Nat, Jesus Christ, calm down. Breathe!”

“No!” Her scream turned into a sob to everyone’s surprise. “I left him alone... I left him alone. I left him alone.” She mumbled, her whole body shaking.

Clint looked up at Thor and with a small nod, the God of thunder let go the redhead. When she was free, Clint wrapped his arms around her, whispered something in her ear and together the headed to the far end of the quinjet for privacy.

Everyone stood there stunned, not knowing what to do. When Tony glanced over, the monk seemed to be peacefully meditating.




They were quick to arrive at the Facility and after Maria took the monk with her to try and get answers out of him, they all rushed to the common rooms. The loud music was the first thing that reached them when the elevator doors opened, followed by the smell of weed, followed by the sight of a very naked Bucky.

Tony instantly covered Peter’s innocent eyes with his hand.

They could only watch as the brunet held a nearly empty bottle of vodka in his hand and swayed his hips to the song. The whole room was a mess with cushions of the floor, food spread on the kitchen table, an ashtray full of finished joints and cigarette buds on the coffee table and an unknown man, wearing only boxers was sprawled over the sofa, a lit joint hanging on his lips as he watched with lustful eyes Bucky dance drunkenly around the place. Tony also noticed the Captain America’s picture on Clint’s dartboard with a few darts planted on the blond’s patriotic face.

“I’m not here for your entertainment!” Bucky sang -shouted- along. “You don’t really wanna mess with me tonight! Just stop and take a second! I was fine before you walked into my life!” A dart flew towards the board and was planted right on Steve’s left eye. Tony was very impressed that Bucky could still aim perfectly in the state he was in. “'Cause you know it's over, before it began. Keep your drink, just give me the money! Just you and your hand tonight!”

The lyrics, Bucky’s weird behavior, Natasha’s rage, Steve’s own weird behavior, the punch... Tony finally connected the dots together.

No way.

He turned to look at Steve who stood at the far back, now holding a tissue to his bloodied nose and looking anywhere but at Bucky. He looked very ashamed with himself and it only confirmed Tony’s suspicions. He then glanced at Natasha who had mixed expressions on her face. There was sadness, with a hint of anger but she didn’t move, thanks to Clint holding her.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., cut the music.” Tony yelled to the ceiling.

The place fell silent and Bucky abruptly stopped his dancing, nearly falling on his ass. “What the fuck!” He finally noticed he wasn’t alone with his friend when he glanced their way and smiled brightly. “Oh, hey guys!” He yelled happily. “Join us to the party! We’re celebrating for all the assholes-” He looked pointedly at Steve, making the blond turn scarlet. “They deserve their own party!”

“Who the fuck is he?” Tony asked pointing to the man who still hadn’t moved from the sofa.

“That’s Brock,” Bucky chuckled. “And he fucks reaaaal good.” Another giggle and this time the swaying resulted in Bucky tripping and falling on his ass, as expected. The young man simply laughed.

Natasha broke free from Clint’s arms and marched to the man, Brock apparently, with murderous eyes. “Get the fuck out of here.” The man laughed but cut it short when he noticed the clenched fists. “NOW!” She shouted.

Tony had to suppress a laugh when the man stood on his feet, grabbed his clothes and ran to the elevator without another word or even a ‘goodbye’.

Thor was the one that decided to go and help Bucky first. He took off his red cape and wrapped it around the younger man to cover his nudity. With his strong arms, he lifted him up. “Let’s get you to bed.” The beefy god murmured and Bucky snuggled against his chest.

“Are you going to stay with me, big guy?” He slurred in a flirty tone and pushed his finger on Thor’s huge peck.

“Cut it out, Bucky.” Natasha snapped at him just as Thor let out a happy laugh.

“You need to rest, my friend.” Bucky pouted at that.

“Wait.” He exclaimed and Thor came to an halt just as he was passing by the others. Bucky was looking directly at Steve with a frown. Tony watched Steve literally hesitate briefly before he stood tall and faced Bucky with what he hoped was bravery. Bucky leaned over, still frowning and grabbed Steve’s chin delicately with his fingers. “Why are you bleeding?” He asked with real worry in his tone.

“I punched him.” Natasha answered, and had a frown of her own not liking the fact that Bucky was so worried about Steve. “He deserved it.” Bucky’s eyes widened when he glanced over at his friend incredulously. He seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment and his expression changed from shocked to sadness.

“I was an asshole to you...” He told her, sounding so broken. Natasha’s eyes softened at that.

“You were.” She confirmed.

“I’m sorry Nat... you know I love you. I never meant to hurt you like that, you’re my best best favourite person that I love the most you’re my precious-”

“Okay.” She cut him off with a small smile. He was so drunk, right now, Tony didn’t envy the hangover he will have to go through in the morning. “We’ll talk about it when you wake up.”

Bucky nodded then turned back to Steve. “I’m glad she punched you- Let’s go, big guy.” He cuddled back against Thor’s chest and they disappeared into the elevator with Natasha and Clint on their toes.

“Me too...” Steve whispered when the doors closed.

Tony very slowly turned to him with a knowing look on his face. “Oh, Capsicle, man.” He pursed his lips and shook his head, showing how disappointed he was. “What did you do to him?”

Steve looked at him with the most pitiful look he’d ever seen on him before. “Not now, Tony.”

“Fine, go rest. I’ll expect an explanation in the morning. You’re not avoiding this talk. If you have hurt him, count on me to throw a punch too.” He said in a dead serious tone.




A groan.

“Ah, fuck...”

“I bet.” A familiar voice said in amusement.

Bucky recognized Natasha before he even dared to open his eyes.

“My head...” he complained, letting out another pitiful groan. “Pounding. Hurts.”

A cool hand pressed against his forehead and Bucky moaned happily at the feeling. “You’re an idiot. Here, let me help you.” Bucky whined when the hand on his forehead disappeared but then Natasha was raising up his head softly from his pillow and pressing a bottle to his lips. “Drink.”

He did without hesitation. The water was refreshing as he took small sips of it. After he finished with it, Natasha lay his head back on his pillow and Bucky allowed himself to roll over, only to bump into a hard body. Said body groaned and it was enough to scare the crap out of him and open his eyes in shock so fast that he gasped from the pain.

“What the fuck!”

“Chill. Go back to sleep.” The body said.

“Clint?!” He bent over said body who had their face turned away from him and sure enough Clint was laying in bed with him.

Oh shit! What the fuck happened last night?! Ohshitohshitohshit!

“We didn’t...” Natasha laughed behind him. When he turned to her, she only had her underwear on and was holding out two pills to him. Bucky took them from her and tried to remember what the fuck happened last night. It wasn’t the first time he slept in the same bed, nearly naked with Natasha. But, Clint was in bed with them... Oh god. “Oh Nat...” He looked at her with big, apologetic eyes and she was looking back at him with a smirk. “Did we- ...fuck. Please, tell me we didn’t.”

He’d be impressed if he’d been able to get hard at the sight of a vagina though. Maybe it’s why Clint was here? With a penis in their game, it would’ve been enough to help him get hard.

What was he thinking? They most likely had a threesome and he was sitting here proud of himself that he was able to- to... No.

Natasha burst into a loud laughter at the sight of a very pale, very panicked Bucky, and Clint let out another deep groan.

“Clint-” Natasha said through laughter and Bucky frowned, keeping his eyes pointedly on the white pills in his hand. “He thinks we all fucked!”

“We didn’t?” Bucky exclaimed in relief as Clint turned on his back and watched the brunet with an amused look.

“Now, that’s giving me ideas.” Clint winked and Natasha leaned over Bucky to punch Clint’s arm. “Ow, okay! Sorry.”

“Bucky.” She started, ignoring her boyfriend’s complaints. “When we got back from the mission, you weren’t even able to stand on your feet with how drunk you were.” She wasn’t amused anymore, Bucky could see the worry in her expression. “You were naked.” Fuck. “And Brock was with you.” Fuck! “I had to kick him out. And then Thor covered you up with his cape and he was the one to carry you here.” In a smaller voice, she added, “I was worried to leave you alone... again.” She shrugged, and in a louder tone, “So, Clint and I decided to sleep with you.”

And that’s why they were all in his bed. Sounds more appropriate than what he had first imagined. Before he answered, he swallowed the pills dry he then reached out to take Natasha’s hand and squeeze it softly. “I should... I- god, Nat. I’m so sorry...” Natasha locked her eyes on his’ but said nothing so he continued. “I was an asshole to you for the past week... I’m the worst friend ever-”

“No!” She cut him off and he felt her hand squeeze his’ harder. “You were hurt, I understand...”

“But, you were trying to help me, and I pushed you away. Fuck, I’m truly sorry.” His best friend nodded, eyeing him carefully. “I owe you the best date of your life-”

“Hey!” Bucky ignored Clint’s protesting.

“I’ll spoil your ass so much and apologize again and again and again until I’m worthy of your friendship again.”

“Oh Bucky, shut up. I’m not mad at you, okay? I was only worried. I love you, and you don’t have to do anything to make it up to me, because there’s nothing to make up for. I’m just glad you’re finally conscious of your shitty behaviour.” She reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “But don’t ever do this to me again, I won’t hesitate to punch your face if you pull that shit on me again.” It was playful.

Bucky smiled at her. He lay back down, getting comfortable and reached out for her. Natasha lay down too, cuddling close to him and Clint moved closer to them, throwing an arm over Bucky’s waist and resting his hand on Nat’s hip.

That's when it hit him.

"You punched Steve."

He could hear the smirk in Natasha's voice. "Yes. Yes, I did."

Soon enough, the three of them fell back asleep.

Chapter Text

“Did you make him talk?”

The three men that were currently watching the monk behind the glass startled at the familiar voice. All turned to watch the Captain joining them. He still hadn’t shaved off that short beard that he was letting grow, and his hair definitely needed a cut.

“You know, he’s made a vow of silence apparently. So, our friend here is not really chatty.” Tony said with his usual hint of sarcasm as Steve came to stand next to him to watch the monk, assessing. “What’s with the new hobo look anyway?” The Captain said nothing but Tony could see from the corner of his eye that he had clenched his jaw, as if he was restraining himself from answering. “I mean, I know you fucked up, and I still need to find out how but you’re letting yourself-”

“Tony.” Steve snapped.

“Fine. I’ll ask later. Bruce, you think you could maybe try to make him talk?” Tony asked his friend who was standing a few feet away from the glass, unlike Thor, Tony and now Steve who were nearly glued to it.

“Who? Steve?” Bruce asked perplexed making Tony roll his eyes.

“The monk.”

“What makes you think I could make him talk?” Bruce laughed uneasily, and that was definitely panic in his voice.

“Because you’re the one into the meditation shit. You two already have lots in common.” Tony now turned his back to the glass to look at his brunet friend. Bruce gave him a ‘are you fucking serious’ look.

“I’m not the only one- Bucky meditates with me too-” He winced as soon as the name was out of his mouth and glanced at Steve with slight worry. “I mean... he freaks me out Tony. I’ll either panic, or get angry. Either way it won’t be good, and Hulk will most likely show up.”

“We could use that. That would definitely scare him enough to make him talk.”

Bruce was already shaking his head stubbornly before Tony could even finish his sentence.

“We’re not letting the Hulk in a room alone with a monk, Tony.” Steve sighed. “I’m too old for this shit.”

“Who the hell taught you-”

“What are we going to do then?” Thor spoke up, interrupting him, hands on his hips as he turned to them. “Annoy him into talking?”

The little smirk spreading on Tony’s face was all they needed, to know that it was indeed what he was going to do.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. get Bucky here, and I need his guitar.”

“What!” Steve exclaimed but Tony ignored him.

“Very well, sir.”




Bucky was still half hangover when he made his way to the lower levels of the facility, guitar in hand.

When F.R.I.D.A.Y. woke him up, he was surprised that both Nat and Clint, even though they’d heard her, made no move to get off the bed, only because Tony had called only for him. Tony, who had said it was an urgency and also needed his guitar. Bucky was still way too sleepy to even consider that this was a really weird request, and it was Tony anyway; no one ever blinked at his weird requests. So, without complaining (too much), he let Natasha and Clint sleep in his bed.

He was only wearing a pair of boxers and his ‘I feel like 2007 Britney’ t-shirt. Something he instantly regretted when he opened the doors to the interrogation room and Tony, Thor, Bruce and Steve were all watching him. That made him blink slowly, and turn very red on the face.

“Aww, look at you!” Tony cooed and rushed to him, running his fingers through his messy hair (that he hadn’t cared to fix) to flatten it down. “You look so cute when you’re barely awake.”

Bucky was still very much confused, but now also embarrassed to have all eyes on him when he was so little dressed.

Steve stood at the far back. He noticed the careful looks that the blond threw his way, but whenever they’d lock their gazes, Steve would flush and turn to stare at the wall instead.

“I brought the guitar.” He said in a sleepy voice and squinted up at Tony. “What’s so urgent?”

“Him.” Tony pointed to the glass where Bucky could see a bald guy, sitting handcuffed to the table on the other room.

“Is that,” his eyes widened and clumsily, he approached the glass, “a monk?!”

“Yes, so I need this.” Tony took the guitar from him, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “Thank you.” With that, he left to the other room.

Bucky stood by the glass to watch the interaction. Why did Tony need his guitar for this? “What is he going to-” he started but cut himself short when Tony spoke up.

Still don’t want to talk, Mr Monk?” The monk looked at Tony with a blank expression. So, you won’t talk, you won’t write it down, not even in Morse or anything. Even the translators we brought in just for you, had no luck. I just need to understand. Communication is important, or so my girlfriend says.Tony sat right on the table where the monk had his hands cuffed, and after three full minutes of silence and both men looking at each other, Tony gave up and let out a sigh, followed by a nod. Alright-” Bucky watched Tony bring the guitar to his lap. “Two, three, four.and then, he started strumming a random melody. Bucky was still confused about what was happening when Tony started screaming and playing the notes louder.

Bruce let out an annoyed sigh, Thor seemed just as confused as Bucky and Steve was watching Tony with a pained/sour expression. The monk though looked unperturbed.

Tony lasted two minutes before completely stopping what he was doing, and grumpily stood on his feet to make his way back to them. “Didn’t work.” He said all too casually, giving the guitar back to Bucky.

“You’re supposed to be a genius... was this your plan to make him talk?” Bucky asked and heard Steve snort behind him.

“Not my plan. It was Thor’s idea.” Tony defended.

“Hey! I never asked you to do that.” Thor sounded outraged.

“You wanted me to annoy him into talking!”

“I never-”

“Okay, girls!” Steve said loud enough to make them shut up. “We still need to find a way to make him talk.”

“He won’t talk. He most likely never will.” Bucky told them, keeping his eyes on the man behind the glass. “That’s convenient for him,” he turned to them and they were all looking at him, waiting for more. Bucky let out a sigh. “Listen, you won’t be able to make him talk, ever. He made that vow, and they take it very seriously.” Bruce snorted, throwing a ‘Told youto an annoyed Tony Stark. “That’s smart actually, he can be evil all he wants and nobody will ever know for sure because he’ll never say a word.” Bucky turned back to watch the man, impressed. “That’s very smart.”

“So, we really won’t get answers?” Steve asked and Bucky glanced his way with a frown.

He didn’t answer the blond but he did turn to the others with an apologetic expression. “Sorry, but he’s not going to talk. If you have enough proof he did the evil though, he can be locked away.”

“We do.” Thor said with a nod.

“But we wanted to know why.” Bruce added.

Bucky shrugged, lips pursed. “Sorry. Now, if that was all; I have two of the Avengers waiting in my bed,” he walked past them with a yawn, “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Tony ran up to the door, blocking the way out with his body. He crossed his arms and slowly let his eyes trail over Bucky’s body. “What’s the deal with you and Capsicle?”

The blond flushed, glaring at Tony and Bucky squirmed on his feet.

“Can I please just go back to bed.” He muttered with a pleading expression.

Tony huffed, eyes moving from Bucky to Steve and back again.

“Just let him go, Tony.” Steve gritted out.

“What the fuck happened, though! You two are being weird, and Natasha and Clint know but the rest of us are all clueless and I hate it when there’s tension at home!”

Bucky’s body turned rigid. He was too tired, too hangover, too sad, too angry, too too much- when he locked his eyes on Tony’s confused ones.

“You want to know so bad?”


“Bucky-” Steve started in a soft voice but Bucky cut him off with a humorless chuckle.

“Your sweet Captain here is so fucking bored in the 21st century that he thought it’d be a great idea to play some sort of dirty game.” Bucky’s fists were now clenched. Thor and Bruce stood back awkwardly, probably wanting to be anywhere but here right now.

“It wasn’t-”

Bucky ignored him, and continued his explanation. “Game that involved me, and my fucking feelings.” Tony’s eyes turned understanding and apologetic all at once.

“Oh, Bucky...” Tony reached out for him but Bucky stepped back, shaking his head. He didn’t want his pity.

“Bucky, please let me explain.” It was Tony that glared up at Steve this time. “You know I never meant-” Bucky turned sharply to face the blond. One murderous glare on him was all it took for Steve to snap his mouth shut. For only about three seconds. “I’m so fucking tired of this!” The blond suddenly snapped and everyone in the room, stared disbelievingly at him. “It’s not fair, Bucky! I know I messed up, but you could at least listen to me when I’m trying to apologize!”

“I don’t want your bullshit of apology!” The brunet finally reacted, fists clenched and taking a step towards Steve. “You think you can play with me the way you did and be stupid enough to believe I’d forgive you?”

“I think we need to get you out of here, Bucky.” Thor said in a soft tone, trying to appease the younger man.

“No.” He shook his head, keeping his eyes on Steve. “You want to talk, go on. Talk.”

Now that he was given a chance to apologize or even explain himself, Steve found himself tongue tied, unable say the words he wanted to shout so badly. He simply stood there, mouth opened as if trying to make the words come out. Bucky scoffed and marched the rest of the way to face the silent man.

“I thought so.” He said in a lower tone, but definitely still angry. “Words mean nothing to me, and yours, they mean even less than that. Stay away from me.” Bucky turned and made his way to the door.

Tony stepped aside, letting him leave and watched until the door slammed behind the younger man before he turned to Steve, glaring. “And I thought I didn’t know how to human.”





He sniffled, and quickly wiped the tears away when Natasha’s voice came from the doorway. He was sitting at their kitchen table for the past hour and all he had been doing was crying. He hated himself for still being so weak around Steve. He hated that he let someone have such power on him, again. 

Natasha scowled when she saw the tears, not being fooled. It’s always been too easy for her to read him, and he knew that he didn’t need to tell her why he was crying, she probably already knew that it involved Steve.

Bucky watched her take a seat next to him and reach out for his hand, squeezing it. “I’m making coffee, then we’re going on that date.”

That made him smile weakly. He glanced up at her, his smile turning fonder. “I think that’s a great idea.”

“Go take a shower,” she ruffled his hair when she stood up, to go make the coffee. “Before Clint wakes up. He spends at least 45 minutes in there.”

“What the fuck.” Bucky chuckled.

“I swear, he’s the worst.”

“He’s good for you...” He admitted with a smile.

He honestly loved Natasha and Clint’s relationship, though he was kind of jealous to not have something like they had. They were good for each other. Opposite in some stuff, but so alike. Like the sun and the moon.

Natasha turned to him, suppressing a smile of her own but he did notice that it was a near thing. Which meant she was trying hard to not show how happy she is. Bucky actually rolled his eyes at her, stood up and smacked her ass as he made his way out the kitchen.

“I want pancakes!” He shouted for her to hear and closed the door of the bathroom behind him before she could protest.




It was weeks later, that everything turned to shit.

Bucky was enjoying a plate of waffles, sharing it with his best friend that now had a new look that he still wasn’t used to. When they went on that date, Natasha had wanted to stop by the hairdresser, claiming she was bored of her red hair. It was a shock for him, because he’d only ever seen her with bright red hair but he couldn’t lie that she looked absolutely stunning with her newly bleached blond hair. She also followed his advice and finally conceded in cutting it short, just past her jawline.

Tony was sitting with them, drinking his coffee and bickering as always with Pepper. The conversation involved a dream, peeing and a baby. Natasha and Bucky were no longer paying attention to them, too used to that.

When suddenly, bright orange sparkles appeared right there in the middle of the room, forming a big hole. Bucky nearly stumbled off of his chair when a weird man came out of what looked like another dimension. Was he a wizard? 

Oh man, he had to stop reading Harry Potter.

“Tony Stark?” The man, that suspisciously had the exact same beard as Tony said all serious. “I’m Doctor Stephen Strange.”

“What the fuck.” Bucky breathed out. One look at the others at least confirmed he wasn’t dreaming. They were all as confused as he was. “Are you a wizard? Does that mean-”

“If you say Harry Potter really exists, I’ll punch you.” Natasha said somberly, keeping her eyes on the wizard.

“I need you to come with me.” The wizard told Tony, ignoring the others. “We need your help.”

Bucky noticed the way Pepper held tightly on Tony’s forearm.

“Who’s we?” Tony asked, his own hand covering Pepper’s trying to soothe her. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working.

A bruised Thor appeared from behind the wizard. He looked in a very bad shape, which was a shock because Bucky had never even seen him sweat before.

“Thanos... he’s coming.” Thor blurted out and Bucky felt Natasha tense up next to him.




“I need to go and get Wanda and Vision.” Natasha told him as she put on her leather suit.

“I’m coming with you.” Bucky said quickly in panic.

“Bucky, you can’t come with me!” Natasha snapped and her tone was so harsh that it made him take a step back. “I’m sorry...” She said  softly this time. “It’s too dangerous. I can’t... lose you. You have to stay here, with Pepper.”

“What about-”

“No. For God’s sake, listen to me.”

Bucky snapped his mouth shut so fast, he nearly bit his tongue. He wasn’t done arguing though, taking in a deep breath, he crossed his arms, scowling. “Nat, you got me trained for this exact moment.”

“No, I got you trained so you could defend yourself when I’m not around.” She retorted pulling up the zip of her suit.

It started when they first moved to the facility. Only Thor, Clint and Natasha knew about this. These boxing sessions with Thor, sparring with Natasha and shooting with Clint. What was the point of all this if he couldn’t help them when they needed it?

“I’ll stay in the jet.” He tried, in a pleading tone. Natasha opened her mouth to reply but he was quick to add more. “Nat... You say you want me safe but it goes both ways. I need... Fuck, I need to be with you. Please.”

Bucky saw the moment she finally gave in when her eyes softened.

“Alright... But you’re staying in the jet.”

“Sure.” He said all too quickly.

“Promise me.” Natasha narrowed her eyes at him suspisciously.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry.”




He lied.

As soon as they landed in Wakanda, he was told to stay in the lab with Shuri, Wanda and Vision. Natasha was in another room, planning away with King T’Challa and the others when Bucky tried for an unnoticed escape. He didn’t go too far though. Captain America in his newly hot as fuck suit and his beard and flawless hair, was waiting for him, arms crossed and disappointed face at the end of a corridor.

“I’m... looking for the bathroom.” He said sheepishly.

Steve raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “And I thought I couldn’t lie. Get back in there with the others, Bucky.”

He frowned. “Steve...”

The blond immediately lost his authoritative stance. Arms falling at his sides, staring at Bucky with mixed expressions. Shock, want and wild-eyed. Bucky approached him carefully and the closer he got, the more Steve looked unsure.

He came to an halt when only a step seperated them. “I have... Shit. Listen to me please, I need to go out there. I have to help.”

Steve was already shaking his head before he could even finish he sentence. “Bucky, I’m sorry. It’s...”

“Too dangerous, I know!” Bucky snapped, frustrated. “Jesus, I’m so tired of being treated like I’m weak!”

“You’re not weak.” Steve said softly, inching slightly forward. “If it were anything else, I would let you help us... If I was sure I could have your back. But,” Steve ran his fingers through his hair and Bucky itched to touch it too, “this is completely different. It’s aliens, a bigger army than the one of New-York. And I won’t be able to have your back... not in this field.”

“Why would you want to have my back?” Bucky asked with a frown.

“I see you.” The blond took in a shaky breath. “You once told me I was everywhere, but the same goes about you. I see you. All the time, always. My eyes always look for you, and always find you like a magnet.”

Bucky couldn’t look away from these intense blue eyes. “Steve...”

“I know you don’t want my apology, and I’ve let time pass by but, I still hate myself for what I’ve put you through. I hate myself for fucking up the way I did, because I was scared. You terrify me...”

“Me?” He terrified Captain America?

“You’re my weakness, Bucky Barnes.”

Breaking the eye-contact because he need to breath and he just couldn’t when Steve sounded and looked so sincere. He licked his lips, finally saying out loud what he was so scared to say ever since Dr Strange appeared in their kitchen.

“There’s a chance of you guys dying...” Steve didn’t say anything, but the silence was enough of an answer. Tears were already building up in his eyes when he looked back up into the prettiest pair of blue ones. “Will... will you look after her?” His voice was so small, but he couldn’t care less. Steve immediately understood that he was talking about Natasha.

“I promise.” Steve assured him with a nod and a small, fond smile.

Sniffing, Bucky let out a relieved little sigh before he stepped closer, his chest colliding with Steve’s. Before he could talk himself out of it, he cupped the blond’s bearded face and pulled him down for a kiss. Their lips lingered for a moment, a light brush that made Steve gasp. Bucky’s whole body shivered with want and then, he was really kissing the older man. His fingers scratching softly at Steve’s beard as the kiss turned deeper and wetter. Shyly, Steve licked into Bucky’s mouth, tasting him like a starving man. The world was ending but at least Bucky got to kiss Steve one last time.

When he slowly ended the kiss, he was still gently holding the blond’s face in his hands. When he opened his eyes, Steve was already looking at him with confusion.

“In case... we die.” He murmured and finally let go of Steve. “Be careful out there, okay?”

His eyes fluttered shut when Steve gently tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and allowed his thumb to linger against his cheek in a soft caress. “Okay...” He said in a whisper.

Bucky opened his eyes and with a smile, he nodded once and took a step back. Before he could turn around to make his way back to the lab, Steve called out his name.

“Bucky... if-” Bucky tilted his head slowly to the side watching Steve turn scarlet. “If we, I mean...” He nervously ran a shaky hand through his hair. Letting out a frustrated huff, Steve started again. “When this is over, would you... maybe, it’s okay if you don’t want that, I’d understand. But you know... Fuck. Maybe... You and I...”

The brunet chuckled, amused at the sight of a man so big looking so flustered. “Hey,” He reached out to take the Captain’s hand and squeezed it softly. “Breathe, Steve.”

The blond looked down at their hands for a moment then up into Bucky’s eyes and nodded. “What I’m trying say is... well I, I’m trying to ask you on a date...”

Bucky would love that very much. Maybe it was the fact that there was a big chance that they could die at any moment now that had him wanting to forgive Steve for what he had done. Because that’s how unpredictable life is. It could end at any moment, and Bucky was lucky enough to forgive, and give one last chance to Steve, they only needed to survive here. Maybe the promise of that date will be a good thing for Steve to be less reckless and more careful with his life.

“I’d love that.” He said as he stepped into Steve’s space again and leaned on his tiptoes to press a kiss on the man’s bearded cheek. “But, I’m giving you only one chance Steve. I won’t let you hurt my feelings again. If you’re really ready for this-” he waved between them. “Then, I would love to give you that chance and go on a date with you.” He slowly turned Steve’s face so he could peck his lips softly. “Don’t die.”

With one last peck, he finally turned and made his way to the lab.




The aliens were everywhere. They attacked like wild animals in rage, Bucky had never seen such rage before. They didn’t care about dying, they only attacked like bloodlust creatures. Because that’s what they were; wild creatures that craved blood and death.

Bucky could see the battlefield from the lab, he hadn’t move away from the window. It was the only thing he could do, watch from the distance, control his heartbeat and breathing, and pray for all the people fighting out there. Shuri was working fast on Vision behind him but she still needed more time, and Wanda well... Wanda couldn’t stop pacing from the window to Vision and back again.

“Bucky, I’ll go out there. Stay here.” Wanda told him when they noticed the big alien wheels that destroyed everything in their way.

“What?!” Bucky yelled, scandalous. “If you’re going, I’m going too!”

“Vision needs protection! Please, I trust you to keep them protected but they-” she pointed to the window at the battle going on outside, “need my help!”

Before he could argue more, Wanda used her powers to fly off the room.


“Are you almost finished, Shuri?” Bucky turned to the young, genius woman.

Bucky liked Shuri. She had a great sense of humor and was way smarter than Bruce and Tony together. Bucky loved how she had teased them for that, making both men flush.

“I’m working as fast as I can, but I need more time.” She told him, fingers still working on the hologram.

Bucky huffed. He wanted to go help. As soon as Shuri was finished-

He literally stopped breathing when he saw one of the big wheels nearly run over Natasha. His body instantly turned rigid from anger. Angry because Natasha nearly died, angry because he wasn’t out there to help them.

The fact that she nearly died though was enough to make him react. Shuri had plenty of guards to keep her safe. Without hesitating, he rushed out of the room, sprinting down the long corridors until he was out of the palace. He had to steal one of the wakandian flying transports to get quickly to the battlefield. As soon as he was close enough, he started shooting. Aliens fell dead to the ground, losing blue fluid, probably blood. Blue blood.


He jumped off the flying transport and with a loud roar, he started shooting again, aiming for the aliens. Killing three of them that were attacking a single Wakandian warrior lady. He had never had such rage rushing through his veins before. Natasha nearly died. The warrior lady turned to him, raised her harpoon and let out a shriek probably her way of saying thank you before she ran off to kill more aliens. Bucky smiled, he liked these ladies.

On his way to Natasha, he had to stop when more aliens surrounded him, stopping him from going further. Bucky shoot more of them, making them fall dead one after the other but they were too many. When he noticed the little raccoon -what the fuck??- not far away from him that was also shooting them, laughing. Bastard raccoon thought this was funny?

Knowing that they weren’t getting out of here alive without a smart plan, Bucky reacted with the first idea that came to his mind. He picked up the raccoon and spun around on himself as they shot and killed all the aliens around them.

“Yeaaaah!” The raccoon laughed and okay there’s wizards, and talking animals now!

Bucky put him down and shot another alien that rushed to them.

“How much for the gun?” The raccoon asked and this is so fucking weird.

“Not for sale!” He told the cute little raccoon before noticing Natasha and sprinting off towards her. He luckily also noticed another one of these creatures that tried to attack her from behind. Bucky aimed and shot in quick successions making it fall dead right behind her.

Natasha quickly turned to the dead alien at her feet then towards Bucky. When she realized it was him, her face turned from grateful to angry. When Bucky was close enough, he grinned.

“You’re welcome.”

“What the fuck are you doing down here!” Natasha growled and Bucky was impressed that even though she was arguing and keeping her eyes on him, she still noticed the alien that nearly bit their heads off and quickly planted her blade through the thing’s body.

“You nearly died!” Bucky argued back.

“Bucky?!” Fuck.

He turned and saw Steve, looking at him with a shocked, scared and disappointed reaction. The brunet watched the blond slam one of his new shields on an alien’s head, knocking it down. He ran up to them, face now contorted in a frown.

“What the fuck are you doing down here?” Bucky nearly snorted at the exact same question Natasha had just asked him.

“Helping. Now, can you two stop looking at me like that and CONCENTRATE, FUCK!” He was the first to see the big alien jumping to them and quickly and effectively shot it.

“I will fucking kill you when this is over!” Natasha spat out, but Bucky smiled.

Together, they killed off more aliens.




Thanos had the stones. All the stones.

Bucky had watched Wanda kill Vision, the love of her life. She had refused to do it, until the last moment when she knew it was their only hope to save the universe. But it was too late. Thanos was able to go a few moments back in time, bring Vision back to life and get the stone. Then Thor appeared with the axe, the only weapon that would kill Thanos.

Bucky breathed out in relief when the God of thunder planted it right on the Titan’s heart.

It was over. They won at the last minute. Vision is dead, a lot of people were dead... but they won.

That’s what he thought.

One moment, he was relieved this was over, already searching Steve with his eyes. The other, a huge explosion happened, knocking them out briefly. When Bucky stood on his feet, Thanos was alive. Alive, and with a snap of his fingers, disappeared.

Steve approached Thor, holding at his ribs. “Where'd he go?” The blond asked between pants. Thor didn’t answer. “Thor... Where did he go?”

Bucky made a step towards them. His head was spinning and he could no longer feel his legs. When he looked down to make sure everything was okay, he watched with horror as the tip of his fingers started to turn into dust, flying off into the air.


The last thing Bucky saw was Steve’s panicked eyes on him, the blond stepped forward as if to catch him. Bucky inched closer wanting, needing to be caught.

Then, he fell to the ground and all he saw was darkness, all he felt was emptiness.

Chapter Text

The strong bright orange light made him squeeze his eyes shut tighter, his head was heavily pounding, too much to deal with such strong light right now.

Where am I?

He tried to remember. Was he drunk? High? That would explain why his limbs felt so light, like he was floating. Except- he really felt like he really was floating. He tried to move, his legs wouldn’t cooperate.


Is he dead?

He remembers a snap of fingers. An explosion. He remembers Steve. 

Steve was standing so close when-

He remembers the dust, his body falling. And darkness.

His fingers moved. Water. He was in water?

“Open your eyes.”

I can’t.


How can I? I’m dead.

“Not so technically.”

How’d you know? Who are you?

“Open your eyes.”

He struggled, had to squeeze them shut once more before he dared to start blinking them open. A dark silhouette was hovering above him but because of the strong orange light hitting his eyes, he couldn’t make out the face who was watching him.

“Ah fuck, turn the light off.” It almost burned his eyes.

“No can do, sorry.” The person above him had a soft feminine voice, it was soothing. So much that he wanted to stretch his limbs languidly, get wrapped up in that sound and fall asleep. “Now, James,”


“Are you going to lay down all day? Huh, though the concept of ‘day’ isn’t a thing here.”

“Where am I?” He asked, eyes fluttering closed because honestly, this lady had the softest voice ever.

“Get up. I need to find and wake up the others then, I will explain.”

Bucky didn’t want to get up. He wanted this lady to keep talking so he could go back to sleep, or go back to be dead? The promise of an explanation of what was happening though was enough to force his body in a sitting position. Once he did, he first slowly looked around to take in the place he woke up in. It was a weird place, he concluded. It was vast and empty. The ground was made of water, though he never sank low. He snorted when he thought of himself as a walking-on-water-Jesus. The sky was heavy with thick orange clouds. What the fuck. 

He looked up at the lady, wanting explanations now but before he could form words, he let his mouth hang open at the sight of the person standing in front of him. She- it? had the physical form of a woman, but her skin was a pale greyish color. Her long hair was white and so were her eyes. If she didn’t look so unhuman, she could’ve probably been a beautiful woman. She was also barely dressed, with only high black stockings and equally black panties and bra.

She was smiling softly at him as he sat there completely stunned.

“What- who are you?” He was finally able to make his mouth work, his voice came out small though.

“I...” The woman hesitated. Bucky watched her as she raised her hands, palms up and looked down at them pensively. “... Lady Death.” She finally said, glancing his way as she let her arms fall down her body.

Lady. Death. ???

“You... like the reaper or something?”

“I...guess...” She hesitated again. 

She guesses? Was she new to this whole thing?

“Are you going to guide me to the world of the dead?” It was the only plausible reason. As 'plausible' as this shit could be. “Gonna take me to Saint Peter so he can give me the list of the good and bad I’ve done my whole life? I’m gay so just take me to Hell now, it’ll less embarrassing for me and less work for you.”

She blinked slowly at him, head tilted to the side.

“Peter...” She muttered breathily.

“Yeah, Saint Peter.”

“Peter... died.”

Bucky frowned, watching her carefully. She seemed lost in her thoughts. He finally decided to stand up, and approach the woman, keeping a good distance between them though. “You’re okay?”

She turned her face to him and nodded. Her white eyes scared the crap out of him. “Go join the tree, I need to wake up the others.”

The tree?

Before he could ask, she was already walking away. Bucky could only stand there, confused in the very large and empty place except for the temple that he noticed when he spun around. It looked like a very old, very royal building. Since there was nothing else around him he made his way towards the building. The doors opened on their own -creepy- as soon as he was close enough, and just as he thought that there would be at least one thing normal in this place, he was proven wrong. The temple was also very empty. The only thing decorating it, was the huge throne at the very end of the hall and a tree trunk laying at the bottom of it.

Concluding that this must be the tree the Lady Death wanted him to join with, Bucky walked up to it, hesitated but decided to lay right there on the floor, his head propped up on the tree trunk. He was still tired and soon, he was asleep.






His trembling fingers brushed on the ashes resting on the ground. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. When I open my eyes, this will only be a bad dream.

He opened them.

He was still in Wakanda. He was still crouched over Bucky’s ashes. He could feel Thor’s eyes on him. He could hear the footsteps running towards them.

“What happened?”


Steve winced, keeping his eyes on her best friend’s ashes.

“Where is that purple asshole? Did you kill him?” She carried on, when neither of them said a word. She looked from one to the other, eyebrows raised. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you guys speaking?”

Steve finally looked up at her. She noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks which surprised her. Had they lost? But Steve never cried; she only ever seen him cry once before and it was for Bu-

Eyes slowly growing wide, her whole body turned rigid. “Where is Bucky?” Steve’s lips trembled and Natasha chocked on air, her sight already getting blurry from the tears. “Where is Bucky?!” She yelled, voice trembling.

“Natasha...” Steve said so softly.

“No! No, no, no!” A sob escaped her lips. She clutched at her chest, shaking her head stubbornly as the tears fell from her eyes. “Where is he, Steve! Where is my Bucky? Where is-”

“Natasha,” Thor rushed to her when Steve could do nothing but cry as he stared at her, completely lost. The God of thunder watched his friend bending over as she kept clutching at her chest, panting harshly probably lacking oxygen. She cried loudly, expressing her pain in the worst way imaginable. “You need to breathe Natasha, you’re hyperventilating!” Thor warned her, hand resting on her shoulder.

She fell on her knees at Steve’s side, probably already understanding it was her best friend’s ashes. “Give him back. Give him back. Give him back.” She repeated like a mantra, her hands working to pull together all the ashes. “Ple-e-e-ease.”

Steve was completely at loss with what to do. He had never seen Natasha break down, ever. And certainly not in such a sad, scary way. He did the only thing he could think of, she was still pulling the ashes together to her knees, muttering Bucky’s name over and over again when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against his chest. He could feel her tense up, only to completely break down again, pressing her face against his chest and let out more ugly sobs.

Chapter Text

“Pst. Man, wake up.” His eyes fluttered open when he felt a finger poke at his cheek and once again a silhouette hovered above him. “You’re laying your head on our son.”


“Uh?” When he rubbed the sleep off of his eyes he could finally see the guy’s face. Dirty blond hair, kind of wavy and a pair of green eyes. Behind him stood a tall, muscly greyish man and a small woman with- antennas? right on her forehead.

“Thought I’d have to ask Mantis to wake you up.”

What’s a Mantis

Something patted the top of his head, and then, “I am Groot.”

Bucky sat up frowning, when he turned to see what had touched his head, he could only see a tree. But, the tree moved, opened its eyes and said again “I am Groot.”

It took him five whole seconds where he blinked sleepily at the tree for the information to reach his brain, when it did, Bucky jumped way too quickly on his feet, letting out a shriek. “What’s that!!!”

“Wow! Man, chill!” Blond guy said when the tree repeated ‘I am Groot’ again. “That’s Groot,”

Bucky quickly turned to the man, wide-eyed in panic. “What are you all?” Slowly, his brain caught up with the last 24 hours. The Titan, the aliens, the talking raccoon, his death- death... he died. Oh Nat is gonna be pissed... When he glanced toward them again, he was less panicking. “Sorry,” he sighed. “I’m... on the edge.”

“We all are. Mantis, check him up.” Blond guy said, and antenna woman approached him carefully.

Before Bucky could even think of what was happening, the woman touched his forehead. Immediately, Bucky was eased and relaxed, no longer in panic. The woman smiled at him and Bucky could only stare as she took a step back.

“What did you do?”

“I helped take off the panic from you...” She said a little bit unsure.

“Oh wow... Thanks.” Weird.

“What’s your name?” Blond guy asked.


“Alright, Bucky. I’m Peter, this is Drax, Mantis and Groot. You saw a raccoon around?” Peter asked, eyes searching the room.

“A talking raccoon?”

Peter quickly looked back at him, letting out a sigh and a nod. “Yes, Rocket. Where’s he?”

“Oh... I-” He shrugged. “I don’t know, sorry. I just... I met him, when we were fighting the aliens. He wanted my gun.” He added the last part with an amused smile.

“I am Groot.”

“Don’t say that, I’m sure he’s somewhere.” Greyish guy, Drax, told the tree.

“Have you guys seen other people around?” He asked them, sitting back down on the wet floor. They all did the same.

“No, Lady Death said she was going to wake them up...” Peter said, fingers drawing lazy circles on the water. “And uh... Have you seen a woman here? Green skin, black hair with red tips?” He asked carefully.

“Except Lady Death and now you guys, I have seen no one... I’m sorry.”

They all fell silent until moments later, the sound of the doors opening made them look towards that direction.

In came a single person, male from the looks of it. “Creepy,” the person said about the doors that opened on their own and Bucky could only think right???’. The closer he got to them, the more Bucky recognized who it was. He was quick on his feet.


“Yeah?” Blond Peter said.

“Bucky?” And yes, it was Peter Parker. Bucky ran up to the teenager, wrapping his arms around him. “Oh god no, no, no, no! You’re still a kid...” He couldn’t believe Peter was dead too.

Peter held him tightly for a moment. “Where are the others?” He finally asked, looking up at Bucky.

“I don’t know...” The pained look Peter offered him made him react and he quickly added, “they’ll probably get here soon.” Peter seemed unconvinced, just as much as he was but he still tried to smile.

“Alright...” He finally glanced over Bucky’s shoulder, towards the others. “Oh, hi everyone.” He smiled weakly.

“Spider.” Drax said.

“No, it’s Spider-man... or Peter, just call me Peter.”

“Well, that makes two Peters, I’ll get confused. I’ll call you Spider.”

The youngest Peter rolled his eyes.




They didn’t have yet the courage to go back to New-York. They were given rooms in the Wakandian palace, to get some rest but of course, none of them could rest when they were all mourning. Natasha had long stopped crying, her emotions completely disappearing and Steve didn’t know what was worse, watching her break down the way she did earlier, or watch her sit on one of the sofa’s in the lounge room, eyes empty, face pale and body unmoving. Clint who had been with her ever since he had found them outside, was nowhere in sight now. They hadn’t seen Tony and Peter way before the battle too, Steve still hadn’t tried to call, but he was going to.

Thor was locked in his room, as was Rhodey and Rocket.

Steve kept his worried eyes a moment longer on Natasha’s unresponsive form and finally, with a sigh, he stepped back from the doorway, turned around and made his way down the large corridors. He needed to go back to the room he was given and call Tony, and Pepper -he had to make sure she was okay-.

When he was locked inside the room though, he had no strength to do what he had planned. The moment he found himself alone, the horrible truth finally knocked him off his feet, making him fall face down on his large bed, and he cried. He cried, and cried, and cried. Clutching his fingers tightly on his pillow, face pressed hard on it, he allowed himself to scream, long and shattering, muffling the sound on the pillow.

Sam is gone, Bucky is gone, T’Challa is gone... half the universe has completely disappeared and they could do nothing, they could do absolutely nothing.

Steve had known failure in the past, he wasn’t a complete stranger with the word but never, oh god never, had he imagined that one day he could fail, actually fail, the way he did.

When he opened his eyes and lifted his face off the pillow, he noticed it was damp with tears. He also noticed that he had fallen asleep and it was dark outside. The stars shining brighter than usual outside and Steve could only sit on his large mattress and stare at the sky. He had never seen so many stars in the sky before, they never shone this bright before, and he almost laughed at himself for his next thought.

It’s them... Our little stars, keeping an eye on us.

That thought only lead to more tears he couldn’t hold back, when suddenly there was a knock on his door. Before he could get off his bed, and make his way across the room to answer it, the door opened, and in walked a very tired, very dirty, Tony Stark. Steve’s eyes bulged and he could only stand completely frozen by his bed for a few seconds.

“Hi honey, it is I...” The usual humor in Tony was weak, but Steve found himself smiling anyway at the attempt. More tears ran down his face at the fact that Tony is alive, and was still trying to be himself by using his humor and Steve wanted to hug the hell out of him, so he didn’t hesitate a moment longer.

Letting out, a pained/relieved/broken chuckle, the blonde nearly flew across the room and crushed Tony’s smaller frame in his huge arms. For once, the brunet didn’t act as if it was disgusting, he clutched at Steve just as hard.

“Peter is gone...” Tony mumbled against his chest, followed by a sob and Steve squeezed him tighter.

Oh no... He’s a kid.

They stayed in each other’s arms for a while, Steve allowing Tony to cry and being held. When he was done, the brunet sniffled and slowly pulled back. He looked up at Steve with a determinated expression. “We have to fix this.”

“Tony... I don’t know how we could possibly fix this.” Steve told him in a soft voice.

“We have to try, Steve!” And his brown eyes no longer looked tired, well... not as much. “I just saw Thor, he told me what happened. Thanos didn’t die... if we find him, we find the infinity stones, if we find the infinity stones, then maybe...”

“We could bring them back...” Steve said in a whisper, expression thoughtful. Tony nodded, looking at him expectantly. “Okay... but how are we supposed to find Thanos?”

“I... have no idea yet but... I’m sure Carol could help us.”


“Captain Marvel.” Steve frowned, but Tony continued, “She’s the one that brought me and Thanos’ adoptive daughter back on Earth. She said something about sensing something bad happening, she knew shit was about to happen before Thanos even appeared...”

“Why didn’t she help then?” He perplexedly asked because, if she truly sensed it, why not help? She might as well be lying.

“She had her own shit to fix first, and then... she got an alert from Fury.”

“Oh, that son of a bi-”

“Anyway. We should talk to her.”

“Is she here?” Steve asked and Tony nodded. “Okay, we need to talk to her. But, the others will have to be present. If there’s even one small chance we can save them Tony... It’ll make them less... God, Natasha is a complete zombie, and I haven’t even seen the others, they’re all locked in their rooms.”

Tony understood then that Bucky died too. Many of his family died, and he promised to do anything in his power to bring them back. “Yeah, they need to know. We can’t lose hope.”




A lot of people were joined in the temple, but most were outside due to the fact that the temple wasn’t big enough to shelter half of the universe’s population. Bucky was still with both Peters, Mantis, Drax and Groot. But now, they were also with Dr Strange, Sam, T’Challa and Wanda. A part of him was still waiting for Natasha to show up and join him soon, another part of him hoped that she didn’t die... Lady Death approached her throne under everyone’s curious eyes. Only once she was sat on it, did she sweep her eyes over the packed room, let out a small sigh before speaking up.

“I know you’re all wondering what is going on-”

“Uhh, yeah, indeed. Care to share with the class?” Peter Q. said loud enough to interrupt her. She locked her gaze on him, falling silent. For a long moment, she could only stare at him, and Bucky could almost bet it was tears that he noticed in her eyes. A small line formed between Quill’s eyebrows, and after a few more seconds, Lady Death finally broke the eye contact.

“This is the Soul World.” Lady Death said in a loud tone. “A world where people are not dead, but certainly not alive either.” She glanced towards their group, and specifically at Dr Strange. “A world... trapped in the Soul stone.”

A whole world in one of the infinity stones? Does that mean that they can get out of here?

“How do we get out?” Sam, who was standing next to Bucky, arms crossed, asked.

A thin, painful smile appeared on Lady Death’s lips. “You don’t.”

Instantly, everyone started speaking one over the other, all were affronted shouting profanities. Most, left the room, angry.

“Doctor Stephen Strange,” the wizard looked at Lady Death. “Can we have a word, in private?” He nodded and just like that, Bucky watched Lady Death push her opened hand in the air, and then, in a blink, everyone except Doctor Strange was standing outside the temple.


“She’s keeping something from us.” Quill grumbled.

“Yeah, and Strange won’t share, I bet.” Sam added, just as grumpy.

“This is bullshit,” Quill let out an hysterical laugh, “How are we getting out of here?!”

“We need to stay calm, I am sure this will get fixed.” T’Challa said in a soft tone making Quill snort.

“Oh really, Kitty? Don’t tell me what to do. I will stay calm, when I’m out of here.” Quill stabbed his finger on T’Challa’s chest and Bucky was quick to slap his hand away in horror.

“What the fuck Quill! He’s a King!” Bucky hissed at him but Peter didn’t seem impressed.

“Hey, you know who I am? Do you?” When he got no reaction, Quill rolled his eyes. “Son of Ego. He’s dead now, which makes me a King too.”

“I am Groot.”

“It’s alright, Bucky.” T’Challa assured him with a smile, completely ignoring Peter.

“I’m kind of hungry now,” Drax said out of nowhere.

“I am Groot.”

“How can you two be hungry? We’re all dead! We can’t be hungry!” Quill snapped at them.

“We are not dead, we are trapped in the Soul stone.” Young Peter told them.

“We technically kinda dead, man.” Sam said with a pout.

“Hey, don’t scare the kid like that Samuel!” Bucky told him, frowning.

“I am Groot.”

“You're right, Groot. We're still technically kinda alive, which is why we're hungry.” Drax said, hand rubbing his stomach and Quill groaned.

“Why is food the only thing you talk about-”

“I am Groot.”

“I wasn’t trying to scare him, I was simply-”

“You definitely scared him! Look at him!”


And everyone fell silent. At the temple’s doors stood Lady Death and Dr Strange.

“You all,” She said, pointing at their group. “Follow me.”

With that, she turned her back to them and walked back into the temple, expecting them to follow. Strange rolled his eyes at them but was quick to follow Lady Death. The others could only do the same, expecting to at least know how to get the hell out of here. Funnily enough, none of them piped a word now that they were back in the temple, all walking in silence. The woman came to a stop in front of a strange interior pool, Bucky noticed how the water inside was orange. She then turned to them, trailing her white eyes on their group before speaking.

“This pool, will allow you to enter the world you come from.” They all looked perplexed at her words. “Your friends won’t be able to see you, but you will get to see them.” Bucky let his mouth fall open and was already taking a step towards the pool.

“How is that supposed to help us get out of here?” Sam asked.

Lady Death glanced at Dr Strange, with a nod the man spoke up.

“When we get to enter our world, only our soul will be present, it’s the reason why they won’t see us. However, our soul will produce a strong energy over there, enough that we will be able to use our powers to help them, sort of... I’ll be able to use my magic, even if they won’t notice a thing.” He looked at Wanda pointedly. “And so will you,” As if they were one and only person, all turned to stare at Wanda. “They- we... need to find Thanos. They will take the stones, and once they do, they will have everything they need to get us back home.”




Carol Danvers was not what Steve expected her to be. She was already waiting for them in one of the meeting-rooms of the palace when they walked in. She was leaning back on her chair, both legs crossed, feet resting on the glassed table, a bottle of beer in hand. As soon as they walked in, she smirked at them, and wriggled her fingers as greeting.

“Ah, the Avengers,” was the first words out of her mouth. “You guys really look like crap.”

They all tensed up at her words. Steve could see Natasha glaring daggers at the blonde woman.

“Is this a fucking joke, Tony?” The no longer redhead snapped at the genius.

“Hey, calm down sweetheart.” Carol told her, swallowed half of her beer, slammed the bottle on the table, and stood up to approach them. “I’m here to help.” Her eyes met Rhodey’s and a huge grin spread on her face. “James.”

“Carol. Didn’t know you... I thought-” Rhodey stumbled over his words and okay, they knew each other then.

“Yeah, well...” the woman shrugged, apparently understanding what Rhodey meant. “A lot happened. But that’s a story for another time.” She winked at him then turned to Tony. “Alright, we need to find that dude, what’s his name again? Thanos?”

“Yes,” Steve answered first and Carol looked at him with a little smile.

“Captain.” She saluted him.

“Ma’am.” Steve said and the woman chuckled, patting a hand on Steve’s peck.

“Ah, such a young pretty face being so polite, we don’t have many of those around anymore.”

“Can we concentrate, please?” Tony asked.

Carol was already turning to him with a smile when the next second, she raised up her hand, eyes glazing over in the distance, a frown on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Tony murmured in a small voice and Carol quickly shushed him, smacking her hand over his lips.

“Shh, I feel...” Her head snapped to the right, eyes concentrated on a point there and Steve felt uneasy because there was absolutely nothing where she was looking. “An energy.”

Her hand fell off Tony’s mouth and slowly, she walked up to the place she had been staring at. When she came to a stop, she closed her eyes and raised both hands. Steve watched as she slowly moved her hands in the air, weirdly enough it kind of looked like she was drawing a human shape right there with her fingers. When she opened her eyes again, her hands fell down her body and for a long moment she only kept staring at that same empty spot.




Wanda and Strange were the first ones allowed to get inside the orange water. Bucky and the others stood at the edge, watching their figures sitting at the very bottom of the pool. They seemed relaxed, almost meditating but he couldn’t help but feel a little nervous for them. He was biting on his cuticles, foot tapping nervously over and over again as he kept his huge and scared grey eyes on Wanda and Dr Strange.

“Hey, you sure they can breath down there?” He nervously asked Lady Death.

“Their soul left their bodies, they’re not breathing at all.” She said all to casually making Bucky stare at her incredulously. “What?”

“But, it’s not dangerous right? They’ll be fine?”

“Hey, trust the woman, Bucky.” Quill told him and Lady Death smiled lovingly at the blond.




“She can see you?”

Stephen stood still, not moving a single muscle and frowning slightly as he tried to understand what was happening.

In front of him, stood a woman, a real breathing and alive woman. Lady Death did say they weren’t able to see them, and yet... The second their souls left their bodies and traveled all the way down here, the woman had seen them. Though, he wasn’t sure she could actually see them... more like she could feel their presence. The woman was looking straight into Stephen’s blue eyes, but her eyes seemed confused.

“I don’t think so,” he whispered to Wanda, who kept standing, also unmoving behind him and as soon as he said the words, he watched the woman frown.

“What kind of energy?” Steve asked, stepping closer.

“Shh!” The woman snapped, never moving her eyes away.

“Can you... see me?” Stephen asked and the woman tilted her head, blinking.

“Yes.” She said in a whisper. Holy shit. “Kind of... More like, you’re an energy, orange and human shaped.”

“What the hell is she doing?” Clint muttered.

“What’s your name?” he asked next.

“Carol,” her frown was slowly disappearing, getting replaced by a smile. “What’s yours?”

“I'm doctor Stephen Strange...”

“Mhm, and the one behind you, Doctor?”

“I’m Wanda...” The young woman said, coming closer to him. “How can you see us?”

“I’m not sure...” She shrugged. “It never happened before, I know I can feel energy and absorb it, but never... this.

“Okay. Enough. What the fuck!” Natasha snapped. For the first time since sensing them in the room, Carol turned to the Avengers. “Get out of here.”

“I’m trying to understand too, this never happened before.” Carol told her. “They’re... an energy, but I can actually talk to them and see their human shapes.”

“Who?” Thor asked, frowning.

“Dr Stephen Strange and Wanda.”

At the two names, the Avengers fell silent. Some gaping in a funny way, others just staring with empty expressions.

“How...” Bruce started but was too dumbfounded to even form a question.

“Like I said, I don’t know. This never happened before.” She said, looking as confused as they were.

“Can they hear us?” Steve asked.

“Yes.” Strange said.

Yes.” Carol told them.

“Where are the others?!” Natasha asked.

“We will get you guys back!” Tony said at the same time.

“Tell them that we’re not dead... not exactly. We’re trapped in the Soul stone.” Stephen told Carol and she repeated the message to them.

“We need to find the stones.” Steve said with determination.

“Uh... yeah, big guy. That was my plan all along.” Tony muttered smugly making Steve roll his eyes at him.

“Tell them Wanda and I, will be able to help. We can use our powers, even without our bodies.”

First things first though, they needed to find Thanos.

Chapter Text

His heart was slamming in his chest as he kept his eyes focused on the orange water. His toes curled at the edge of the pool, he was breathing unevenly, his head was spinning and he could faintly hear Lady Death’s soothing voice talking to him. He heard it, but wasn’t listening so when he felt cold fingers wrap around his bicep, he tore his eyes from the silhouettes inside the water and trailed them over Lady Death’s pale ones.

She was smiling carefully when she squeezed his muscle. “I said: are you ready?”

He let out a shaky breath. No, he wasn’t ready.

“Before... I just-” biting on his lip nervously, Bucky let his lids shut for a moment. When he opened his eyes again, Lady Death was still watching him. Waiting patiently. “Strange and Wanda can use their powers... but the rest of us...”

A fonder smile formed on her lips. “You won’t be able to help them, not for a fight.”

“Then why are we doing this?”

If they couldn’t help, then why? Bucky will only be frustrated because he will be with Nat and Steve, but not completely, and they won’t be able to see him...

Her cold fingers let go of his arm. She nodded softly and tilted her head slightly to the side. “If you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to, Bucky. But, Strange told us about that woman... somehow she can see you guys and even talk to you.” She turned to give her focus on the pool and at the people inside. Wanda, Dr Strange, Peter, Sam and T’Challa. They were all already in the other world. Their world. “Except Wanda and Strange, no one will be able to help in a fight. But... You can help your friends, in a whole other way.”

Bucky frowned, keeping his eyes on her profile.

“Your friends... they will be fighting for you. They could give up, but they decided to do everything they could to help... When your best friend and your lover know you are with them, they will find an even bigger strength in them to fight. You understand?”

Bucky blushed but never corrected the lover part. How Lady Death knew everything about everyone was still a mystery, but Bucky preferred not to ask about it. She knew and there was that.

“I think I do...” He turned to face the pool again, body straight with determination. “Okay, I'll see you later.” He told her when he made the first step into the pool. The water was warm, and it sure as hell didn’t smell like chlorine, the water had no smell at all.

“Don’t try to swim, just let yourself relax at the bottom.”

Letting out a snort, Bucky looked over his shoulder, smirking at her. “Oh, I know all about relaxing my bottom.”

Though her eyes were purely white, Bucky still noticed Lady Death rolling them, the corner of her lips turning up slightly.

Stepping further into the pool, the brunet’s reflexes reacted first by making him kick his legs softly under the water, his arms floating on top of it. He was quick to remember that he had to stop though and as soon as he did, he let his body go limp.

“No, you’ll only float like that. Relax only when you reach the bottom. Force your body all the way down.” Lady Death told him, making Bucky look back at her and nod.

Nothing happened when he tried to force his body all the way down though, with a groan, Bucky muttered a ‘fuck it’ and plunged under water. He swimmed to the bottom and had to grab Sam’s arm, pulling on it enough to force his body at Sam’s level and finally he was able to sit at the bottom of the pool and relax his muscles.

Then, he closed his eyes.





He opened his eyes to find himself sitting on the floor of an unfamiliar room. The first thing he saw was a hand stretched out in front him. The hand was a attached to a smiling T’Challa. Bucky took the offered limb and with the king’s help, stood on his feet.

“It was about time.” Sam told him and patted his shoulder.

Bucky said nothing as he took in the room, a small smile on his face. God he had missed this, the normal things. A simple decorated room was more than what they had in the Soul World. Then his smile turned brighter when he saw Tony, Bruce, Thor, Rhodey and a blonde woman he never met before sitting around a large table. Wanda, Strange and Peter stood behind the woman.

“Where are the others?” he asked Steve’s best friend.

Sam shrugged, lips turned down. “They weren’t here when I showed up.”

The blonde woman snapped her head towards them, a huge smile on her lips. Bucky stared, wide-eyed. That’s the woman that could see them, then?

“Oh, a newcomer. Hi, sweetheart.” She winked at him and Bucky glanced up at Sam, unsure. “It’s okay you can talk to me, I don’t bite.”

“Huh... hi.”

“Who’s the newcomer?” Tony asked with an excited smile.

The woman looked from Tony to Bucky, eyebrows raised.

“Oh, huh... Bucky. I’m Bucky.” He told her.

“Bucky, mhm? Cute.” She said in a teasing tone.

“Bucky?” Bruce asked but Tony interrupted him.

“Dammit, Natasha just left! She and Clint are at the gym I think.”

Huh. Training to beat Thanos' ass, of course.

“What about... Steve?” He asked the woman and blushed when he felt Sam’s eyes on him.

“Steve?” The blonde asked with a grin and all turned to her. “Okoye asked to have a private conversation with him.”

“We have to concentrate.” Strange reminded her and she rolled her eyes.

“Calm down, doctor. We won’t be able to do anything until we find Thanos.”

“Can I... go and find Nat?” he asked because that’s the only reason why he came here. Well, not the only reason but-

“Sure, you go ahead, sweetheart.”

With a last nod, Bucky turned and walked out of the room.

Even though he’d been in the palace before the battle, Bucky didn’t get to see all of it that’s why he had no idea where the gym could possibly be. For a while, he walked from room to room, from floor to floor, hoping to find his best friend soon. Instead, he found himself walking into a large and illuminated bedroom. He froze up when he saw Steve, sitting on the large bed. Wasn’t he supposed to be with Okoye? The blond had his blue eyes focused on a sketchbook, a pencil in hand. The only sound in the room was the scraps of the pencil brushing on the paper.

Curious, Bucky approached the man, who looked so beautiful when he was so focused, and slowly sat himself on the bed. He couldn’t help but let his eyes linger on the blond’s face for a moment. God, he’s beautiful. When Bucky broke the contact to look down at what Steve was doing, his eyes turned big like saucers and a gasp escaped his lips when he saw it.

It was him. Steve had been drawing him. His face, his dimple on his chin, his long hair, his lips...

And just like that, Bucky fell a little bit more in love with the man.

Smiling, he looked back up at the blonds face. “Steve...” he tried, hoping to get a reaction out of him. Nothing happened though. “God, I wish you could see me...” He muttered, reaching out slowly with his fingers to let the tips caress Steve’s bearded cheek.

A clatter echoed in the room, and Bucky saw the pencil fall on the floor. Steve’s eyes grew wide and slowly, he turned his face towards Bucky’s, his body trembling as though he could see him.

“Can you see me?” Bucky asked, hope filled in his voice. But Steve only stared, eyes unfocused, a frown between his brows. That means no then.

“Bucky...” The blond whispered. “Is that you?”

“Yes! Yes, it’s me. Steve.”

Again, no reaction. Bucky huffed in frustration. But, Steve felt him... he was sure- looking back at the blond’s face, he licked his lips slowly, bringing his fingers slowly to Steve’s face again. As soon as he touched the older man’s skin, Steve gasped.

“Bucky... if- if it’s you, tap my cheek two times.” And so Bucky did, tapping Steve’s cheek softly with his pointer finger twice. Instantly, Steve’s lips trembled and tears formed in his bright blue eyes. “Oh Bucky... baby. God, we’re going to bring you home, I promise.”

“I know,” Bucky whispered lovingly. “I know you will.” He let his hands slide down Steve’s face, letting his fingers trail over the blond’s chest until his right hand pressed against the man’s heart. He smiled when Steve glanced down at his left pec, his tears getting the better of him and rolling down his cheeks. “Keep me in here, in the meantime.”

“Please...” Steve begged brokenly. “Don’t leave. Not yet... please, stay.”

“I’m not leaving.” He whispered, tapping his finger once again twice, against Steve’s pec.

“Lay down with me, please.”

Steve was already moving to lay down on the bed. Bucky watched him for a moment, before he decided to climb on it with him. He rested his head on Steve’s chest, listening to his fluttering heartbeat as his fingers drew small patterns on the bigger man’s side.

“This is not how I imagined our first time sharing a bed.” Steve mumbled, and Bucky smiled against his chest. Steve could feel him, it wasn’t much but it was better than nothing.

They lay together for a while, until Bucky heard Steve’s regular breathing on top of him. He fell asleep.

“I think I’m in love with you.” Bucky said in a small voice. He had known it for a while, but never dared to say the words. It terrified him, and the fact that Steve couldn’t hear him was a good thing. Because even though he needed to say it, he didn’t want Steve to hear it. Not yet... “You terrify me. I don’t know how this happened, it wasn’t- It wasn’t supposed to happen.” The brunet sighed, rubbing his cheek on Steve’s chest. “You were only a crush at first, something inaccessible. I don’t know when you became so much more. But you know, the first time we kissed, it was like a rebirth for me. Like my first gulp of oxygen.” He lifted his head off of Steve’s chest to look at his sleeping face but kept his hand firmly in place, to let Steve know he was still here. “I can’t breathe when you’re not kissing me, Steve.” A single tear dropped from his eye. “I’m scared... I’m scared because I’ve become dependent on you and now, I don’t know how to survive without you by my side. I hate you for what you’re doing to me. I hate you for the pain you’ve put me through and I hate you for making my heart burst with so much love for you that I could choke on it...”

Steve’s brows furrowed in his sleep and Bucky couldn't help it, he brushed his finger to smooth that line between his eyebrows. “Fuck! I love you so much it fucking hurts, Steve.” Bucky actually felt like punching Steve for making him love so hard and so painfully.

Letting out a tired and frustrated sigh, Bucky lay back down in Steve’s arms, closed his eyes and soon fell asleep.






He was brutally awoken by two strong arms wrapping around his middle and pulling him off the pool. With a loud gasp, Bucky opened his eyes to find himself laying on the edge of the pool, panting. T’Challa watched him with worried eyes, he was drenched and pulled Bucky’s hair off of his face.

“We have to hurry.” T’Challa said worriedly before Bucky could even ask why the hell he’d been pulled out of the pool like that.

“Wh- huh? What’s going on?”

Immediately, Bucky sat up and let himself be helped on his feet. He saw the others standing behind Lady Death’s at the temple’s doors.

“Thanos.” T’Challa simply said.


“Come on.” The king said hurriedly, and Bucky jogged alongside with him towards the others.

As soon as he was close enough, he saw the problem. Thanos stood outside the doors, a small smile on his lips. Instantly Bucky felt a rage burn through his veins, had to clench his fists and breathe deeply to not do something stupid like go over there and punch the Titan.

“So. It is true.” Thanos’ deep voice made him shudder. “I first thought it was a dream, but... it was real. I created this. This world.”

“You created nothing, asshole!” Peter Quill shouted, taking a step forward but Lady Death stopped him from going further with a hand against his chest.

“This world always existed.” Lady Death’s usual soft voice was tense now. “You see yourself as a prophet, you thought you could kill. You just brought them to this world.”

Thanos watched her for a long moment.

“Can’t we just kill him now?” Peter Parker asked Lady Death in a whisper.

“No, he’s not really here... Only his soul.” She told him, keeping her eyes on Thanos.

“Can’t we kill his soul?” Quill suggested, obviously frustrated.

Lady Death said nothing but still let out an annoyed sigh.

“You may not be dead, but you’re trapped in this world.” Thanos finally said. “I won, I won. I saved the universe!”

“What did it cost?” Lady Death asked him and Bucky watched Thanos jaw turn slack.

Again, he trailed his eyes on Lady Death’s figure, a frown on his ugly purple face.

“Daughter?” He asked in a trembling, weak voice.

Lady Death flinched.

Daughter?” Quill snorted, an amused smile on his face. The smile quickly vanished though when after three long seconds of silence, Peter slowly turned to completely face Lady Death. His eyes wide, and body visibly trembling. She too, gave all her attention to him. “Gamora?”

Her eyes watered instantly. “Peter...” she breathed out his name in a loving tone and Quill turned pale, panting and expression lost.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked, frowning but was ignored by the two.

Bucky watched Quill’s trembling fingers reach out to touch her face. Surprisingly, she didn’t move, she allowed the touch and even let her eyes shut for a moment. No one dared to speak, they were all confused but they let them have their moment. Thanos was still watching Lady Death’s incredulously and he was the one to break the moment between Quill and Lady Death.

“Daughter... forgive me.” Lady Death pulled away from Quill’s touch but stayed close to him when she turned back to Thanos. “Please. I wish... I wish I could bring you back to me.”

“You can’t.” She raised her chin, keeping her white eyes on the titan. “And, I’m not forgiving you.”

Bucky was mortified when he watched the titan choke on a sob and a river of tears ran down his face. What. The. Fuck.

“I will do anything... for you. Daughter.”

She took a step forward, but this time in was Quill that stopped her by wrapping his hand around her thin wrist.

“Gamora, don’t... please.” He begged her and she looked over her shoulder at him, as always when looking at Quill, a loving smile appeared on her face.

“Peter, you have to trust me.”

“Last time I did, I lost you. I can’t... please. Not a second time.”

Oh. And Bucky slowly understood what was happening.


He knew that name sounded familiar. Peter had told him about the love of his life, the green-skinned woman that he had lost. He told him about Gamora asking him to kill her. Told him about how he had to because he swore to her that he’d do it when she would ask for it. Told him how making that decision was like stabbing his own heart over and over again. Told him how Thanos had tricked them and vanished with her. And it was the last time Peter saw her.

She watched him for a long moment. “I just need to talk to him.” She finally said, using her free hand to get Peter to let go of her wrist.

Drax was the one to step in and hold Peter back, stopping him from going after her.

“We have to trust her, Quill.” The beefy man told his friend.

Lady Death approached Thanos. The titan was still crying but didn’t move a single muscle, waiting for what was coming next. She stopped a few feet from him, having to look up to look into his eyes.

“There’s a way you can redeem your actions.” She told him in a sure voice.

“Anything- if it gives me your forgiveness.” He promised.

“You undo what you did. Let them go back to where they belong.”

Thanos gaped at her, unsure. “You know it’s impossible.”

“You know it’s not.” She retorted, narrowing her eyes.

He glanced over her shoulder at them, they still stood by the doors, watching their interaction. Some worried, others curious.

The titan let out a sigh. “Is it the only way I can get you to forgive me?”

“I won’t forgive you.” She told him, crossing her arms and making the giant frown. “But, if you get them back, I may consider a sweeter death for you.”

Thanos clenched his jaw, the muscles working. “You can’t kill me-”

“I am Death now.” She tilted her head to the side. “I can and will kill you. You wouldn’t be lucky enough to just be an errant soul in this world. I will make sure you know nothing but darkness, loneliness and pain. For the eternity.”

“Alright...” The titan nodded, giving in. “I’ll bring them back. But, you will be alone, daughter.”

That was enough to make her flinch slightly. She glanced over her shoulder to Peter, the blond was still watching her with horror in his features.

“They don’t belong here. I will able to keep an eye on them...” She said, voice soft.

“Whatever you wish.” With that, the titan disappeared.

Peter broke free from Drax’s arms and ran up to her.

“What happened?”

She looked up at him, smiled and reached out to take his hand. “Come.”

Hand in hand, they made their way back to the others.

“You’re going home.” She said, once she stopped close enough to them.

“What?” Quill asked, eyes wide.

“He will undo this mess.”

They all breathed out in relief, huge smiles splitting on their faces.

“We’re going home? Everything will be back to normal?” Peter asked, wrapping his arms around her. “We’re going home, Gamora. It’s over.”

She took a step back, making him let go of her. She had tears in her eyes and Peter frowned, confused.

“I’m not going home, Peter.”

“Alright,” Dr Strange spoke up to get their attention. “Let’s leave them alone...”

Reluctantly, they did as they were asked. Bucky’s steps were heavy as he walked further away from the lovers. He was happy to go home, that all of this was over. But... Quill had to leave behind the love of his life. He tried to imagine, how he would’ve reacted if he were in Quill’s situation. He couldn’t. He couldn’t possibly imagine the pain Quill must be feeling right now. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Peter on his knees, arms wrapped around his lover’s waist, face pressed to her stomach as he cried. His heart broke for them, he wished he could do something to help them. But he was a simple human with no powers and no superhuman skills.

Sometimes, life was just a bitch, when two souls made to be together were forced to stay apart and sacrifice their love for the better.

Yes, life is just a bitch.

Chapter Text

Quill’s loud painful scream was still resonating in his head when he slowly blinked his eyes open. His fingers twisted as his eyes trailed over the corridor they appeared in. He looked to his right and there stood T’Challa, Sam and Strange. The others stood on his left side. Parker was watching his fingers with a frown.

“That’s it?” The teenager asked in a whisper. “Did it work?”

“We might not have enough time for that, Captain.”

Tony. It was Tony’s voice they heard first, coming from the room at the end of the corridor.

“Just call me Carol, big guy here will think you’re talking to him.”

“He knows I’m not talking to him, I never call him Captain.”

“My point is, we should get more Intel first. I was hoping one of them on the other side would be here and tell us more about that Lady Death.”

Quill visibly flinched.

“Why in the ever loving Fuck would that Lady Death know a thing on how to stop Thanos? Unless she can actually kill him. Hm... okay, maybe we should consider that option.”

“That’s what I just-”

“Consider. The. Option.” Tony seemed to be mumbling to himself.

They decided to make their way down to the room. T’Challa was the one to make the first step and the others simply followed.

“If I may interrupt-”

Steve started but was cut off by T’Challa clearing his throat. All the Avengers were in the room. Steve, Tony, Carol, Rhodey, Thor and Okoye were on the left side of the room, discussing strategies. On the right side of the room, that seemed to be more of a lounge area; Natasha, Clint and Rocket sat on one of the sofas. Bruce was bringing them tea but right now seemed completely frozen, holding the teapot, half bent to their cups.

“Well...” Parker muttered to their little group. “I think that answers my question.”

“My King...” Okoye choked on a sob, eyes unblinkingly on T’Challa.

Bucky paid them no attention though, his only focus was on Natasha, who was looking back at him, face pale, lips parted and teary-eyed.

“Peter!” Tony was the first to react by making his way to the teenager in fast strides and squeezing him in his arms.

“I am Groot.”

Rocket threw his cup over his shoulder, making it break to pieces on the floor but he seemed not to care when he saw his best friend and ran up to him. The tree picked him up, placing him on his shoulder and Rocket wrapped his arms around his neck. The other guardians joined in for a group hug.

Bucky smiled softly at his best friend who still hadn’t moved. He took a step forward towards her, and that simple, small movement was all it took for Natasha to stand quickly on her feet, run to Bucky and jump in his arms. The collision of their bodies was so strong that both gasped, but neither cared. Bucky had his right hand curled over her thigh when she wrapped her legs around his waist, the left one was pressed on her back to keep her close. Natasha was shaking in his arms and had her face pressed on the crook of his neck, her fingers digging on his shoulder blades.

Bucky could faintly hear the cacophony behind him, but none of that mattered. He had Natasha in his arms. His Natasha. And she’s all that mattered right now. He didn’t want to let go of her, never again. She probably felt the same way, and even though he couldn’t hear it, he still felt the way she was spasming like she was silently sobbing, he did feel with each second passing, his shoulder getting wetter and wetter.

“God, Nat.” He muttered like a prayer, tears falling freely from his eyes.

“Shut up, shut up.” She begged, squeezing him even tighter.

He doesn’t know how long exactly they stayed like this, seconds, minutes, it felt like hours though and Bucky needed it like his lungs needed air.

But once they both started slowly feeling better, getting a hold of themselves, Natasha pulled off his shoulder and cupped his face with both her hands. Her bright green eyes were puffy and red, her face wet and her hair was a mess, but Natasha would never be anything other than beautiful, no matter the situation.

“I missed you so much.” She whispered and slowly brushed the tip of her nose against his. “Life has absolutely no meaning without you, James Barnes.”

“I’m never leaving you again, Nat. I’m here now, and this is real. You’re right here.”

She smiled, that smile that was only reserved to him. It was the fondest smile he had ever seen on her, making her whole face glow.

Slowly, he put her down never looking away from her. They stared at each other’s faces for a moment, until Natasha broke the eye contact, letting her eyes trail to something behind his shoulder, but they quickly returned back to him.

“I want to be selfish, keep you for myself for the rest of my life now,” Bucky smiled and opened his mouth to agree with her plan when she continued. “But, I have to share you now... he was dead worried about you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry for anyone else before.”

Her eyes moved again to that something behind his shoulder and slowly Bucky turned, finding Steve, on the other side of the room. The Captain was watching him already, and when they locked their gazes, Bucky noticed Steve’s chest rising and falling in quick motions.

Bucky’s smile turned into a grin, and he was pleased to see Steve’s face turn from shocked to happy, his parted lips curling up into a smile too. The brunet broke the eye contact only to look back at Natasha, reaching out to grab her hand and bring it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles softly.

“I promise, I will tell you everything, we can go shopping and-” he spoke fast, nearly out of breath. “but, I have to...”

Natasha smirked. “Go, you both deserve it.”

Bucky let go of her hand, when he turned back to Steve, the blond was still watching him expectantly, though he hadn’t moved an inch from where he stood.

Taking in a deep breath, Bucky raised his chin and never looking away from Steve’s eyes, he walked up to the blond confidently. The Captain never moved, but Bucky could see his eyes turning eager with each step he made towards him.

“You owe me a date, Captain.” Bucky said still coming closer and only stopped when his chest pushed against Steve’s. Not wasting time, he grabbed Steve from the back of his head and pulled him down for a deep kiss. To his surprise, Steve’s hands moved to his hips and pulled, making Bucky take another step and bring them even closer. Bucky gasped against the blond’s lips, and was furthered surprised when Steve took advantage of it and slowly licked into his mouth.

He wasn’t expecting this, he really wasn’t. Their tongues poked and and brushed together, in slow and deep movements, learning the other’s taste. And it’s all it took for Bucky to become addicted, craving more and more, never getting enough like one could crave cocaine. Bucky had to tangle his fingers through Steve’s hair, his other hand digging on the Captain’s shoulder to keep himself upright and not fall from the sensation, the taste, the hot breaths making one. Steve’s beard tickled his lips, making little electroshocks rush all over his body to the tip of his fingers.

They had to stop, they had to stop before-

Too late.

Bucky was so far gone he couldn’t control the way he rocked his hips against the blond. A moan escaping him when he felt the equally hard member between Steve’s legs. He couldn’t even concentrate on the kiss anymore, just let their opened mouths touch, their breaths coming out harsh and hot. Steve let one of his hands caress in the slowest way up Bucky’s side, until-

“Uh... please, there’s innocent eyes here.”

Both men froze up, snapping their eyes opened and staring into each other’s wide ones. Steve was the first to react by pulling slowly away and helping Bucky to stand upright. They slowly pulled apart from each other and turned to face the others.

Their friends were all staring. Some disbelievingly others smirking. Tony was covering Peter’s eyes with his hand.

“Uhm...” Steve blinked, his face red. “I think we should go, right Buck?” He asked, turning to him with a pleading expression.

Bucky had to roll in his lips to not laugh at the situation. “Hm-mhm.” He nodded, his face twisted from having to control himself when he just wanted to burst into laughter.

“We have a date.” Steve added, trying to explain himself.

“Right.” Tony said with a smirk. “We’re in Wakanda, Steve. Everything was blown up so I don’t know where exactly you’d go on a date.”

Raising a brow, Bucky turned to Steve, lips pursed as he waited for the blond to come up with something.

“Uh... yeah...” Steve, wide-eyed and face scarlet couldn’t come up with anything after all.

“Well, on that note.” Bucky brought everybody’s attention on him. “We wish you a lovely evening.” He smiled, already grabbing Steve’s hand and pulling him out of the room.

Steve followed willingly, though he was still flushed like a virgin when all the Avengers followed them with their eyes.

“Where are we going?” Steve asked once they were walking down the corridors.

“Away from them.” Bucky said, looking at the Captain from behind his shoulder. “I need a shower.”

“Oh, uh... sure.” Bucky didn’t think it was possible for Steve to turn a shade darker but apparently, he was wrong.

“So...” Bucky stopped walking right there in the middle of the corridor, turning to Steve. “I would’ve asked Natasha to use her shower but... I don’t know where she’s staying.”

“I kn- I do... I know where her room is. You can use hers. Her shower. In her bedroom.”

Bucky blinked. Did Steve really not understand or?

“Yeah, but what if...” He took a step closer to the blond, looking up at him through his lashes. He licked his lips, before he said in a whisper, “What if she shows up, and I don’t know... wants to have sex with Clint?” Steve swallowed, staying silent for a moment. So Bucky continued, “Imagine I walk out of the bathroom and find them having sex.”

The blond took in a sharp breath. “That... would be very embarrassing.”

“Hm-mhm.” Bucky nodded, making his eyes heavy and lustful. “Maybe... I could use your shower?”

“Uh...” Steve stood there, mouth agape, unable to say anything for a few seconds. “...sure.”

Smiling, the brunet leaned in to press the softest kiss on Steve’s neck. He felt the blond shudder against him. “Show the way, then.” He muttered against Steve’s skin, took a step back and waited for Steve to react.

He did, by taking Bucky’s hand after a nod. They walked together, Steve tense and Bucky smiling until they reached a door. Steve opened it, letting go of Bucky’s hand and gestured for him to walk in first.

Bucky did and took in Steve’s temporary bedroom. Nothing changed from that time he had came here when he was simply an energy. Steve closed the door behind them but made no move to come in closer, waiting for Bucky.

When the brunet turned to him, Steve cleared his throat, glancing to the door on the other side of the room. He made his way towards it and opened it for Bucky.

“Here, uh, you can take all the time you need.”

Bucky approached him, looking into the large bathroom. “Thanks.” He said, letting his fingers caress softly the blond’s arm as he walked into the bathroom.

“Let me... I mean,” Bucky turned to Steve, already taking off his shirt and throwing it carelessly to the floor. Steve’s eyes dropped to his naked chest, making the blond fall silent.

“Yeah?” He asked innocently with a tilt of his head.

Steve blinked, eyes going from Bucky’s chest to his face and back again. When Bucky brought his fingers to the button on his pants, he was pleased to see the way Steve’s eyes turned lustful, following Bucky’s movements. The brunet popped the button open and heard the sharp gasp leaving Steve’s lungs.

“Let me know if you need anything!” Steve said fast and way too loud before slamming the door closed.

Bucky couldn’t help it, he let out a chuckle because Steve’s reaction was just too adorable.

It was after his quick shower that he realized that he had one problem and he sure as hell hadn’t planned it. He had no clothes and he couldn’t just go and put the ones he was wearing before. Well, whatever happens, happens. He wrapped a towel around his waist and took another one to dry his hair as quickly and effectively as possible.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, Steve was sitting on his bed, sketchpad in hand but at the sound of the door opening, he looked up only to let the sketchpad fall at his feet.

“Bucky.” Steve gasped, eyes wide.

“Uh,” Bucky closed the door behind him, and looked at Steve for a moment. “Sorry, I forgot to ask for cleaned clothes. I couldn’t just put on the ones I was wearing.”

Steve didn’t answer, simply allowed his eyes to devour Bucky’s nearly naked body. His blue eyes lingered longer than necessary on his left nipple, where his piercing glimmed. Bucky followed Steve’s eyes to his nipple, a small smile curling up his lips.

“Yeah, I did it a while ago.” He said, rubbing his hand over said nipple before he could think of it. When he looked back at Steve, the blond was licking his lips. “So... uh... clothes?”

Steve snapped back to reality, looking into Bucky’s eyes. When he understood what Bucky wanted, he stood quickly on his feet. “Right. Clothes!” He said too loud and almost ran to the wardrobe. “I must have something here. They’re not my clothes, the servants here brought them, I think I saw t-shirts. Ah, yes, here it is. I’ll see if I can find sweatpants that could fit you.”

Fuck this.

Bucky let the towel that was hiding his most intimate parts fall at his feet.

He could at least try right? If Steve doesn’t want this now...


“Yeah, just a moment, they’re all too big-”


The blond looked over his shoulder. “I think I have one-” He cut his sentence short when he realized the state Bucky was in. Before Bucky could say anything, he watched mesmerized as the wardrobe door that Steve was holding opened cracked and fell to the ground. It was honestly the hottest thing Bucky has ever seen. “B-Bucky...” The blond stuttered, paying no attention to the broken door at his feet.

Bucky walked with big steps towards the blond. With each step forward, it was one backwards from the Captain until he could go nowhere but to fall down on the bed. The brunet was quick to straddle his hips but before he could do anything else the blond was raising both hands in panic.

“Buck, wait. Wait, wait!”

He stopped, looking down at Steve with a frown. Did he misread the looks Steve was throwing his way?

“You don’t want me...” He mumbled, lowering his gaze, completely lost.

“What?” Steve exclaimed, making Bucky look into his eyes again. “Don’t say that. Of course I do! I...” He let out a sigh and sat up, coming face to face with the brunet. He cupped Bucky’s cheeks and pecked his lips once. “Bucky, don’t ever think I don’t want you, because I do... God I have never wanted anyone like this before.” This time he kissed his lips, a moment longer and softly. “Ever since the day I laid my eyes on you. You’re all I think about, I can’t stop... I can’t. You’re stuck under my skin, and I don’t think there’s a way out.”

Bucky couldn’t look away from Steve’s deep blue eyes that looked so sincere and reflected all his feelings.

“I don’t think you realize how insane I am for you...” The blond added with a loving smile.

His heart was pounding in his chest. Their lips were nearly brushing as he tangled his fingers through Steve’s hair. “Then show me...” he begged in a whisper.

“We have time for this Bucky... I wanted to take you on a date first.”

“Steve...” Bucky closed his eyes, his expression scared as he tried to control his breathing. He needed this now, because all that Steve said, he wanted to believe it, he did. But he needed more than the words. He needed proof because he was too scared to end up hurt, worse than last time. “Please... I need this.”

He felt Steve’s hands moving to his waist, caressing the skin soothingly.

“Shh,” Steve brushed his bottom lip over Bucky’s trembling ones. “Shh, baby. Look at me.” Bucky opened his eyes, looking at Steve’s worried face. “I want this just as badly as you do, trust me.” And Bucky believed him, if the hard cock pressed against his hip was anything to go by. “But I’m not going to fuck you.” That made Bucky frown, unhappy with how things were turning out. “I want our first time together to be special, I want to touch and kiss, I want to worship and caress, I want to make love to you.”

Bucky’s breath hitched in his throat. Yes. He wanted that. No one has ever made love to him.

He didn’t answer with words, he simply leaned closer, capturing Steve lips into a kiss. His right hand moving slowly under Steve’s shirt, wanting, needing to touch Steve’s skin. He could feel the fingers on his ribcage, scratching in the most sensual way. Leaving red marks behind.

“Make love to me, Steve.” Bucky begged, breaking the kiss long enough to get Steve off of his shirt and admire the body beneath him. The pale skin, the pink nipples, the defined abs. When Bucky looked at Steve’s face, the blond was watching him with big, bright blue eyes, some strands of his long hair falling over his forehead.

He couldn’t say why he did it, but his hand moved before his brain could think of it. Slowly, Bucky pressed his hand over Steve’s left pec, right where he could feel the blond’s heart beating. His eyes fluttered shut as he remembered that night they spent together, when Bucky was only an energy and he lay there, listening to Steve’s steady heartbeat. A melody.

Now Bucky could feel it under his finger, truly feel it. “I love you...” he whispered, not realizing the words that came out of his mouth just yet.

He only snapped his eyes open when he felt Steve’s heart pound loud and fast under his fingers. The blond was staring at him, almost mesmerized, his lips parted.

“What...?” Steve said, no louder than a whisper.

“I...” Bucky swallowed. God. Did he really just say that? Out loud? “I’m... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

“Bucky, hey.” Steve cupped his face, forcing Bucky to open his eyes, and when did he close them? Steve was smiling, a bright one with his eyes shining and whole face screaming happiness. “You love me?”

Rendered speechless, Bucky stared, only able to nod once in a small jerk of his head.

He couldn’t react when Steve pulled him in, kissing his lips soft and deep getting the both of them breathless. When he broke the kiss it was to trail his lips down Bucky’s jaw, to his neck. The brunet shivered at the soft lips on his skin, the beard scrapping in a rough way but also tickling in the softest way. Bucky let out a breathy moan, letting his head fall back to give more room to Steve.

“I love you too. I love you, so much.” The words were said between opened mouth kisses on his neck and Bucky lost it.

“Steve.” He begged, running his fingers through his lover’s hair, the tips pressing on the man’s skull. “Please...”

“Let me take care of you, baby. Let me do this.” Steve muttered, grabbing Bucky’s waist and rolling them over.

Chapter Text

His fingertips glided slowly over the bed sheets, the material was soft and cold to the touch. His chest raised and fell in steady movements as he breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. He opened his eyes and gazed into the bluest pair that he ever had the privilege to see. He couldn’t look away, couldn’t break the eye contact. He was simply hypnotized. His lover licked his lips, a line appearing between his eyebrows. The warmth radiating from his lover’s body on top of him suddenly disappeared at it was with confusion that Bucky lifted himself up, holding his weight with his elbows. He watched Steve, kneeling between his spread legs, refusing to look at Bucky, an expression of panic on his features.


The blond was panting, body shaking and closed his eyes. His frown turned deeper when he shook his head. It almost looked like he was battling with something inside his head.

“Steve, what’s wrong?” Bucky asked, confused and already with a pang of hurt in his heart. If Steve rejected him again, in this moment...

“I don’t know if I can.” Steve muttered his eyes still closed. His hands, that were resting on his thighs clenched into fists.

Bucky had to swallow thickly, his own hands squeezing the bed sheets at the realization that Steve was once again all words and no action. He was done, so done with this shit. So done getting hurt. And this time, he didn’t cry. He just let out a dark chuckle, and shook his head. When Steve opened his eyes to finally look at him, he could see the disbelieved expression on the brunet’s face. Bucky was smiling but it sure as hell wasn’t an happy smile.

Steve stared at him, eyes wide and lips parted.

“You know what Steve?”

“Bucky, no.” Steve quickly reacted and reached out for his lover, grabbing his hand. “Listen to me.”


“Because, it’s not that I don’t want this!” Bucky snorted and rolled his eyes. “I want this so much but, I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m so tired of this.” He pulled his hand off of Steve’s with a sneer. “You don’t know what to do? Well I’m not gonna sit here and wait like a bitch for you to be 100% sure you want me, Steve!”

Before he could get out of the bed, because that’s what he was about ready to do, Steve’s next words made him stop, completely freezing.

“I don’t know how sex with a man works...” Slowly, Bucky turned to look at the blond. Steve was blushing and fumbling with his fingers like a kid. “I, I mean... I know how it works, but... I’ve only watched porn.” If this conversation wasn’t so serious, Bucky would’ve probably teased Steve because, yes Captain America watched gay porn. “I’m just afraid to hurt you. If this becomes too intense for me, I don’t know if I will be able to control my strength. And... just touching you is already way more intense to me than all the hetero sex I’ve had before.”

All the anger and hurt vanished from Bucky, leaving him a perfect statue on the bed. What Steve just said... Bucky wanted to eat him alive and give Steve the best orgasms of his life and make love to him over and over again until they both pass out.

His movements were slow when Bucky reached out to take Steve’s hand. The blond stared, with those big blue eyes but allowed his lover to touch him. Rolling his tongue softly over his bottom lip, Bucky crawled over Steve’s lap, their gazes never breaking. When he was comfortable on Steve’s thighs, he guided his lover’s hand towards his neck. Steve’s fingertips touched at his pulse point, and both men panted, their breaths hitting the other’s lips.

“Touch me...” Bucky’s voice was low and deep. He moved Steve’s fingers lower, and breathed out heavily when he caressed his collarbones. “Don’t stop.”

Steve’s eyes were now heavy with lust, his lips shiny from licking them and his pupils dilating more and more with every touch of Bucky’s skin.

When the blond tried to carry on on his own, by gliding his fingers down Bucky’s chest, Bucky stopped him, squeezing his hand with his fingers. Steve frowned, but before he could say anything, Bucky guided Steve’s fingers up, and up and up until they touched his lips.

The touch alone made Bucky vibrate with lust. He parted his lips slowly, keeping his eyes entirely focused on Steve’s as he very slowly let the tip of his tongue lick the other’s fingertip.

Steve choked on a moan. “I’m going to be honest with you...” He sounded out of breath when he said the words. “I’m not usually precocious but if you keep this up, I’ll come before I can even get inside you.”

Bucky smiled mischievously as he bit on Steve’s fingertip lightly. “Can you get it up again?”

Steve nodded, eyes focused on Bucky’s lips. “Serum. Can... up... a lot.” He nodded again and Bucky chuckled.

“Then let it happen.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Bucky pressed his body flush against Steve’s naked one. Their cocks aligning just right and with a roll of his hips, both men moaned. He wrapped his free arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Look at me.” He breathed out, and sucked the finger he was nibbling on. He let it out with a pop, the member shiny with saliva. “Look at me, Steve.”

And Steve was looking, barely containing himself. Bucky smirked and sucked again on the same finger, rolling his tongue over the length, lapping at it. His hips still rolling up against his lover’s.

A grunt escaped Steve’s throat and Bucky watched his lover’s eyes roll back, followed by the feeling of Steve’s free hand smacking and squeezing Bucky’s left ass cheek. “Fuck.” Steve gritted out, curling the finger inside Bucky’s mouth and with the hand on his ass, he used only the force of that arm to press Bucky against him even harder and help him thrust back and forth on his cock with faster movements.

Bucky moaned around the finger he was sucking, losing his focus and just let Steve use his body for his pleasure. Because he wasn’t expecting this, Steve had completely lost it and Bucky loved it. The way Steve digged his fingers on his ass cheek, the way the was forcing Bucky to move in fast, short movements over his dick, the was he was groaning deep in his throat, already sweating, his blue eyes focused only on Bucky’s face as he chased his orgasm.

“Oh. Fuck!” Steve moaned, pulling his finger out of Bucky’s mouth, and grabbed the brunet’s jaw to press their opened mouths together. “Bucky. Bucky. I’m going to-”

Bucky felt Steve’s muscles spasm under him, his lover let go of his jaw and spanked his ass with both hands, squeezing hard and forcing Bucky’s hips up against him with one deep roll and suddenly Steve was coming, between their bodies. Still he didn’t let go of Bucky ass. As the warm, thick white ropes of come kept spurting out of Steve’s dick, the blond still moved Bucky on him, making them rut together as he let out the deepest ‘uhh’s’ into Bucky’s mouth.

“That’s it,” Bucky mumbled into Steve’s mouth, giving a kitten lick on his bottom lip. “That was so hot, baby.” Steve’s fingers scratched from the brunet’s ass all the way up his back, most likely leaving red marks behind. “Think you can hold back a little longer now?”

Steve nodded frantically, never breaking the eye contact with Bucky. And Bucky had never been this intimate with anyone before, the deep focus Steve had on him was making his insides melt and burst with so much love that he found himself breathless.

“Good, because I want to suck your dick.” The younger man said with a smirk and Steve’s eyes widened then.

“Uh... maybe not then. If you put those lips on me, I won’t be able to hold back much longer.” Steve said sheepishly and Bucky chuckled at the admission.

“Then I guess, it’ll be one orgasm I’ll have the privilege to swallow up.” The blond gaped at that. “Literally.” Bucky was already pushing the older man to lay back, his hands pressed on the huge pecs. He admire the muscles for a moment, letting his fingers travel down that V shaped torso, the tips meeting the bumps of Steve’s abs. “Look at you,” he marveled, looking from the body, to the blond’s face. That angel face that he wanted to kiss for the rest of his life. “So beautiful.”

Steve actually blushed at the praise, his hands fisting the bed sheets and Bucky moved to kneel between his lover’s legs. His hands caressed with the softest touch from knees to hips, but his eyes were now completely focused on the hard cock resting on Steve’s belly. His mouth already watered, hungry to taste it. So he gave in, by bending over and letting the fat of his tongue to lick from the base, upwards. Up and up until he reached the underside and used only the tip of his tongue to flick in small back and forth movements.

Under his hands, Steve’s thighs trembled and the deepest grunt escaped his lover’s lips.

“So good, so fucking good, baby.”

Bucky felt one of Steve’s hand moving to the back of his head, his fingers getting tangled on his hair. When the brunet opened his eyes to look up at his lover, he noticed Steve had his head thrown back and eyes closed.

“Babe,” Bucky mumbled against the underside, now shiny from his saliva and the precome that kept rushing out of Steve’s dick. He carefully grabbed the shaft’s base in his hand and swiped his tongue over the slit, licking it clean and savoring Steve’s precome. “Open your eyes, baby. Look at me.”

Steve moaned and shook his head, refusing to do it, only to snap his eyes open the next second and lower his head to look down at Bucky between his legs. Another low moan escaped him at the sight but was cut short when Bucky, keeping his eyes on Steve, swallowed half of his length in one go. “Shit!” The fingers tangled on his hair pulled, and Steve had to throw his head back. “Sorry, I can’t look at- ohhh fuck, yes baby.

Bucky moaned around the shaft, enjoying the heaviness on his tongue, the taste and the smoothness. The vibrations of his moan made Steve groan and fist his hand on Bucky’s hair, hips snapping up. Because he wasn’t prepared for it, Bucky quickly pulled back before he gagged on it, coughing a little as he looked down at Steve’s cock in his head, messy with saliva.

“Sorry,” Steve quickly apologized and Bucky glared at him. He wasn’t fragile for fuck’s sake, he could suck dick like a pro so Steve’s apology was honestly an insult. With a determinated look, Bucky swallowed Steve down again, relaxing his throat and sucking deeper. He bobbed his head up and down and small twists from left to right. “Holy shit! Okay, okay, okay! Fuck. Slow down, baby... please, please, slow...” Steve begged, pulling hard on Bucky’s hair to make him stop but Bucky was having none of it. He kept sucking, messily and noisily. A trail of saliva running down Steve’s hard member as he bobbed his head faster.

When he pressed his thumb on Steve’s perineum, caressing in hard circles, the blond lost it. Letting out a shout of pleasure as he spurted rope after rope of come down Bucky’s throat. And the brunet swallowed all of it like a starving man, moaning at the taste.

When he let Steve’s dick fall from his mouth, and looked up smugly at the man, he was a utter mess. Flushed and lips and chin messy with saliva and droplets of come. Steve was panting loudly, looking at Bucky with shiny eyes like he was something out of this planet.

“You nearly killed me!” Steve accused but he was smiling. “I need a second, then we can go again.”

Bucky was already climbing up his body with a smirk. “Why don’t you use that second by doing something useful?” Steve raised a questioning eyebrow. “How would you feel about eating me out?”

Steve nodded quickly but then frowned, expression changing. “Uh... I don’t know how...”

“Have you ever licked a pussy?” The brunet inquired, sitting on Steve’s belly. Steve flushed but nodded. “Well, that’s exactly the same, except I’m not wet down there, and it’s a lot tighter.”

“Come here,” Steve cupped Bucky’s ass and pushed him forward, towards his mouth.

Bucky moved carefully, straddling Steve’s face. “I forgot to ask.” He said, lowering himself towards his lover’s awaiting mouth. “You want to top or bottom?”

“Oh...” Steve blushed. “I mean... I don’t know... what do you prefer?”

“I am a bottom at heart.” Bucky smiled. “But I don’t mind topping.”

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather top this time... maybe we can switch later, when I get used to this.”

“Hm-mhm.” The brunet nodded, and sat down on Steve’s face, carefully. “Now get to- ohhh yes.” Bucky moaned as soon as Steve got to work. The blond licked curiously over the rim, hands flat on Bucky’s ass. “Yes baby, you’re doing so good.” Bucky praised, one hand flat on the wall, the other moving through his lover’s hair.

Steve licked, sucked and teased, the bastard, moving from the fluttering muscle to his perineum. Pressing the tip of his tongue there that sent electroshocks through Bucky’s entire body.

“Fuck! I don’t believe you never ate ass before!” Bucky exclaimed, rolling his hips slowly, as Steve got bolder and started pressing the tip of his tongue into Bucky’s asshole, back and forth until the muscle gave in and Steve was able to thrust inside. Bucky moaned, lost in pleasure. “You’re so good at this.” he breathed out, throwing his head back as Steve licked his insides deep and slow.

When he pulled back, he looked up at Bucky with lustful eyes. “Can I...”

“Yes!” Bucky nodded, not knowing what he was agreeing to but not caring.

Steve lifted him up with his surprisingly strong arms and rolled them over, laying the brunet down on the bed carefully. He sprawled himself over Bucky and kissed his lips slowly. When he broke the kiss, his eyes were wide. “Uh... I don’t think I have lube with me.”

“Oh.” Bucky frowned, because he didn’t have lube either. “Well, spit.” He shrugged and Steve looked at him disapprovingly.

“Wait here.” Steve told him and kissed his lips before he got off the bed and made his way towards the bathroom. When he came back, he was holding a small bottle in his hand. “This will have to do.” He said as he climbed on the bed again.

Bucky took the bottle from him to read the label. Aloe Vera 100% Gel. It will do indeed. The brunet smiled and gave the bottle back to the older man. “Well, go on. Get your fingers in me, baby.” He said with a roll of his hips and Steve smiled down at him.

“So impatient.” Steve said but he was already popping the bottle open and squirting some over his fingers. Before he made any move though, he looked into Bucky’s eyes, expression serious. “You tell me if I hurt you, or if I do something you don’t like, okay?”

“I promise.” Bucky smiled lovingly at him and kissed the tip of his nose. Steve nodded, grateful. He looked from his fingers to Bucky’s crotch and back again a few times, hesitating. “Baby, it’s okay.” He assured him. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at him, obviously disliking the fact that he wouldn’t be the first to touch Bucky this way. It was up to him now to make it the best Bucky ever had and make him forget all about the previous assholes he had sex with. It was with that thought in mind -please Bucky, please Bucky, make it the best he ever had- that Steve moved his fingers down between Bucky’s parted legs. He gulped nervously when he poked around, letting his middle finger to rub in soft circles over the fluttering muscle.

Bucky breathed out deeply, keeping his eyes locked on Steve’s and gave a small nod and the blond pushed in, slowly already feeling his heart in his throat at the tightness and warmth wrapping around his middle finger. Seeing no distress on Bucky’s features, the blond kept pushing his finger inside until the last knuckle and breathed out just as heavily as Bucky.

When he did nothing for a few seconds but to gaze into Bucky’s eyes, the brunet wriggled his hips around a bit, smirking. “You need to move it, yes, just like that, fuck.” His eyes rolled back when Steve curled his finger inside and bumped into something small and spongy.

“Is that...” Steve asked, eyes wide in wonder and Bucky nodded quickly, biting on his bottom lip.

“Yes, yes! It is. Fuck Steve!” He gasped loudly, when Steve kept rubbing his finger curiously over it. “I need more! More fingers!” Bucky begged desperately.

Steve nodded, even though Bucky had his eyes screwed shut and slowly pulled his finger out, pressing his annular to his middle finger and adding both fingers inside Bucky’s tight walls. He fingered the younger man with deep thrust, curling his fingers inside often just to watch Bucky’s body spasming at every brush against his prostate.

“That’s it baby,” Steve soothed him, kissing at his jaw as he kept working fingers inside. “Fuck, you’re so pretty, losing yourself completely like this, just for me. Huh baby?”

He was now at three fingers inside Bucky and the younger man was whimpering below him. Hips stuttering, and body arching up against Steve’s chest.

“I need your cock, Steve! Please!”

Steve realized then that he had been humping Bucky’s thigh all this time, getting it wet with precome. He slowly pulled his fingers out, wiped them on the bed sheets and lowered his body carefully over Bucky’s trembling one. “How do want it?” He asked in a whisper, kissing that dimple on his lover’s chin.

“Like this, start like this... I want to see your face.” Bucky said, one arm already wrapping around Steve’s neck, the other resting on the curve of his ass. The blond smiled, wanting nothing more than to look into Bucky’s eyes while they do it. He kissed his lips once, keeping his left forearm pressed on the side of Bucky’s head, and moved his other hand to grab his achingly hard cock and align the tip at his lover’s entrance.

“Ready?” He breathed out, glancing up at Bucky.

“Ready.” Bucky nodded, eyes heavy with lust as he licked his lips.

Steve kept his hand wrapped around the shaft as he slowly, very slowly, pushed inside and already he was seeing stars at the tightness he was sinking in. He completely stopped breathing, eyes focused on his cock as it entered gradually inch by achingly slow inch, inside.

Bucky was digging his fingers on his shoulder blade and lower back his eyes closed as he breathed in and out deeply, trying to relax the best he could. His lips were parted and Steve inched closer, kissing the bottom lip softly in reassurance.

“I got you.” He whispered, pushing in deeper and gasped softly when Bucky opened his eyes and gazed lustfully at his lover, pouring out all his love through his eyes.

When he bottom out, Steve could only stare at Bucky proudly, even though he had to keep breathing to not come right there and then. The tightness that was squeezing his cock was nothing like he had ever felt before. He then moved his arm to rest it on the other side of Bucky’s head and leaned in to kiss his lips.

“That’s it,” he said out of breath.

They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, sharing kisses and the same air. When it became too much for Bucky, he rolled his hips needy. “You have to move, baby.” Being full of Steve’s cock felt good, great even, but he was needing more stimulation.

Steve, in turn, gave his own experimental roll of hips and had to close his eyes at the feeling, letting out a deep grunt through gritted teeth.

Naked Hulk. Naked Hulk. Naked Hulk.

And these thoughts were helpful enough to get him off the edge so soon. He fluttered his eyes opened and slowly pulled back halfway, hesitating only a second before he was pushing in again and that! that was truly Heaven on Earth. Bucky’s walls squeezing over him made him nearly lose it. His lover had his neck bared, strands of hair stuck on his sweaty, flushed face. And Steve did the motion again, keeping his eyes focused on Bucky’s face, moaning at the blissful expression and the smile the younger man supported.

He kept that slow, unsure pace for a long moment. Rolling his hips deeply when he was flush against Bucky. But the brunet wasn’t getting enough, starting to thrust his own hips with faster and deeper rolls, it felt so good.

“Faster Steve, I need you, I need...”

And Steve let go, letting his body fully cover Bucky’s, his head pressed to the brunet’s neck as he thrust in and out with deeper movements, so deep that the bed creaked under their weight. Losing himself in it he moaned deeply, turning his face to nose at Bucky’s sweaty cheek. “Fuck you feel so good, so fucking good.”

Bucky whimpered, clutching Steve tighter as the blond truly pounded into him. “Yes, yes, yes! Steve, don’t stop! Jesus fucking Christ!” Bucky chanted deliriously as Steve’s cock slid in and out of him with more conviction. His back arched, pushing his chest right into Steve’s as their bodies undulated together.

Steve reached to take Bucky’s hands, pining them above the brunet’s head and entwining their fingers in a tight grip. His hips snapped powerfully against Bucky’s, their skin smacking together loudly, the sound echoing in the large bedroom mixed with their own moans of pleasure.

Bucky’s cock was trapped between their bellies, getting enough friction each time Steve snapped his hips in hard and fast. He nearly let out a disappointed whimper when Steve stopped and pulled out of him.

“Lay on your side.” Steve told him, voice wrecked.

And Bucky followed the instruction, waiting as Steve moved behind him, pressed his hand on Bucky’s stomach and pulled him flush against his chest. Steve nuzzled at the brunet’s jaw as he angled his cockhead against Bucky’s entrance but instead of pushing in, he teased, rubbing the whole length up Bucky’s crack.

“One day, I’ll just do this.” He whispered into Bucky’s ear. “Just rub my cock between your ass cheeks and you’ll keep them squeezed together, just for me.”

Bucky moaned like a whore at that. “Yes.” He gasped, pushing his ass back as Steve kept rubbing his dick back and forth between the cheeks.

“Mhm.” The blond kissed his neck, softly.

Suddenly, Bucky felt himself being stretched open and getting filled up again. Steve’s thick cock sliding in smoothly with one slow push, taking him to the hilt. Bucky’s ass tightened around it, and Steve groaned, nipping at his jaw. “St-Steve...”

Steve watched as Bucky pushed himself back against him, his back arching into a beautiful curve. His hand traced it, marveling at the muscles and the curved spine.

“I love you.” The blond muttered against Bucky’s jaw as he started easing his cock in and out gently.

Bucky let his head fall back against Steve’s shoulder, a long, breathy moan on his lips. “I love you, too.”

And the words were all it took for Steve to curl his fingers around Bucky’s hip as he started pounding again into his lover. This angle was so much better for them. For Bucky, because this way, the tip of Steve’s cock nailed his prostate almost every time he pushed back inside. And for Steve, because he absolutely loved to watch his lover lose himself the way he was now, in his arms.

Bucky’s hand smacked over Steve’s on his hip, he turned his face to capture the blond’s lips into a deep, messy kiss but with the both of them lost so deep in pleasure, they couldn’t concentrate on the kiss. Instead, keeping their opened mouth pressed together.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, I’m almost there!” Bucky told him, breathily and moaning louder each time Steve brushed against his prostate.

The blond groaned, because he was close too. Let go of Bucky’s hip, and wrapped his hand around his cock.

He frowned when Bucky slapped his hand away and moved it back to his hip. “Like this.” He said, into Steve’s mouth. “I can come from just your cock.”

The blond digged his fingers on Bucky’s hips and kept up his fast and deep pace. Watching, mesmerized as Bucky trembled in his arms. Suddenly, the brunet completely arched up, head thrown back, letting out a loud and long moan as he finally reached his orgasm.

His cock twitched, spurting out ropes of come over the bed sheets and Steve lost it. He kept thrusting into Bucky, chasing his own orgasm and it didn’t take him long to find it. With one last deep push, Steve completely stilled and groaned, the sound muffled against Bucky’s neck as he shoot out his release inside his lover.

When they both came back from their highs, they slumped down on the bed. Steve’s cock still inside Bucky. The brunet rolled his hips slowly, making Steve hiss, too sensitive. He kept Bucky flushed against his chest, kissing softly at his shoulder, neck, ear and jaw.

“For someone that never fucked a man before, I’m pretty impressed.” Bucky mumbled sleepily, “I’m going to ache all over tomorrow.”

“Good,” Steve chuckled and trailed his fingers lazily over Bucky’s chest. “Sleep, baby. You need rest, I’ll probably want more again in a bit.”

Bucky laughed and Steve smiled at the melodious sound.

“Alright, big guy. I don’t have your stamina.” He said amused.

“That’s why I’m telling you to sleep.”

“Mhm.” Bucky nodded, and grabbed Steve’s hand, entwining their fingers and bringing them to his chest. “I love you, wake me up for round two.”

“I love you, too.”

They were both almost asleep when Bucky mumbled:

“Finally, I had the real thing.”