This was a bad idea, he thought. A terrible idea it was. Todo did not know why he wanted to ask the eldest about this topic. In fact, he’s probably the worst to ask about the topic! He should have just went to Ichi instead even if his answer would just be a scoff as he would degrade himself for being ‘trash’ and go on and leave the poor youngest to play with some cats. He paced around the room for a few more minutes, rethinking if he should go inside or not. He kept hesitating until he finally took a deep breath and held the sliding door, pushing it open. A startled look came from the eldest, as he was busy reading some comics he probably found in Choromatsu’s closet. His eyes averted to pink ones, a little curious as to why he was being a little tense.
“Totty?” His eyes blinked, still in shock of the sudden entrance. “Do you need something?”
“No— I mean, yes! Sort of…” The pink star child’s voice began to trail off. Yet, he still continued. “I need to talk to you about something.”
With that statement, Oso placed the comic down on the table. He gave a pat somewhere beside him, telling the other to come closer and sit next to him. Todo followed and silently settled beside him awkwardly. Oso turned to him with a gentle smile, reassuring him that there was nothing to be afraid of. To be honest, Todo was glad that Oso, despite being a bad example, was a good brother figure. He became less tense and sighed, letting his mind repeatedly think of thoughts that could comfort him.
“So…” He started off, trying to find the right words to say. “I wanted to get your opinion. I think it’s important… To me at least.” He could feel himself trailing off, noticing the way Oso looked at him with concern. “What do you think about falling in love with a human…?” When he asked that, he feared that the eldest would break into laughter and make fun of him for such a question. He could imagine it now, ‘Really Totty? Really?’, he would say as he would have a fit of chuckles and gasps, saying words that would soon become incoherent. But it never did. When Todo turned to look at his face, it was a rather melancholic expression. There was no smirk or snicker or any signs of holding in laughter. At this point, Todo wondered if he was really talking to Oso… Or if this was the side of him he didn’t know. Oso took a while to answer, his eyes fixated on the youngest. The silence in the room became heavy. Todo began to panic in his thoughts. He should’ve listened to his instincts earlier. He knew it was a bad idea! Just as he was about to end the conversation as soon as he could, the eldest crossed his arms and sighed, eyes closed in defeat.
“Ah… I thought I would be away from this topic forever…” He said. “Going to your big brother for such a thing! Totty, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for someone too.”
“Ah, man… Really… First it was Jyushi. Now it’s you. Who’s next? Kara?” He chuckled softly. However, it sounded like he was in pain. It was like he was hiding something for quite some time. Todo leaned on the table, resting his arms against it as he looked down.
“Do you think it’s bad?”
“Not at all. I think it’s pretty nice.”
“Then why do you sound so sad?” That question made Oso freeze. He really didn’t want to go and think back on it, but he knew entirely well as to why. He rubbed his temples, a little ticked off by the headache this was causing before he could try and hopefully answer Todo’s question.
“You know, sometimes I wish you weren’t so young. If I said just that, maybe you’d get it and go off doing your thing but no… I have to explain it to this little curious star child.” He looked at the youngest again, who flinched slightly at his retort. He felt a little guilty for saying such a thing, but Oso couldn’t hold it in. He wished he did. “Look… I didn’t mean to say that… I just—“
“Oso-niisan has been hiding a lot of things.”
“Please just open up. Aren’t we like family?”
Again, silence hit the room. None of them expected for this conversation to lead on like this. Both were a little annoyed of the atmosphere, a little scared to say anything. They were both hurting somewhere in their hearts. One was afraid to be heartbroken, the other already into pieces. Todo just wanted an opinion. Oso just wanted this to end.
“Totty… I’m sorry.” He sighed, placing his hands on the other’s head. “I’ll open up. But not now… I don’t think I’m quite ready to relive that memory.”
“That’s fine… Just promise to tell us soon.” He felt a foreign hand wipe his cheeks. Todo didn’t even notice the little star tears that began to form.
“Yeah, yeah.” He chuckled and held the youngest against his chest. “But really… Why are you worrying about such a thing, Totty.”
“I don’t know… I just… I’m scared…”
“Stupid youngest. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love, especially with a human. I think it’s an experience. Humans are weird but… They’re quite nice. It’s a shame they have such a short life.” He then grinned, his usual happy smile. “But hey! If you want to take some risks and sacrifices for them, I say go for it. Go on a date! Get married! Or heck… Maybe get a little nasty, know what I’m saying?”
“Okay I get it…” Todo gave a disgusted look at the last suggestion. However, he was glad Oso was able to return to his usual self.
“Just be careful my little baby brother!” He snickered as he messed with his hair. The other couldn’t help but laugh as well. The eldest finally released Todo from his embrace.
“Thanks, Oso-niisan.” He said as he began to fix his now messy hair. “Really… Who knew the shitty eldest would give me an actual answer.” He said before running off towards the door. “Anyway, I’ll be off!”
“Where are you going?” He shouted.
“Don’t have too much fun!”
“Not that way, Oso-niisan!”
When he heard the entrance door downstairs slam shut, Oso sighed. “He really reminds me of when I was young…” He turned his head to face the window and look at the sky, smiling softly at some distant memory. “Wouldn’t you agree?”