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Whiny Blondes and their Snarky Husbands

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Steve groaned as he sat himself gently on the tub ledge the baby hasn't exactly been gentle since he entered his 3rd trimester.

But Steve was happy, on the inside he had every reason to be, he had a wonderful husband, a beautiful home and a happy marriage he had everything he could want in life and more. Things have been good for Tony and him.

On the outside though, he felt like shit. His feet ached, his head throbbed and he was always so damn hot and irritable. As much as he tried to get over it, Steve's figure was gone. He missed his abs and his toned physique and its place was left with soft curves and stretch marks.

Don't get him wrong he was more than happy to have this baby but less than thrilled at what it did to his body.

Tony just didn't get the hint that no, Steve did not want to have sex he was tired and most of all- sore. The pregnancy drained a significant amount of energy from him and the serum only exacerbated the problem.

He sighed and stared at his belly rubbing stretch mark cream languidly. He lowered his shirt and left the bathroom and crawled right into bed. Tony was typing something on his tablet before his eyes brightened when he took in Steve's appearance.

"Hey, you." he locked the tablet and placed it on the nightstand.

"How are your feeling" he placed a hand on Steve's belly rubbing softly.


"Is your chest still sore?"

Steve opened his wary eyes and nodded. Before Tony could reply he stated "Don't you dare Tony. You know I'm not in the mood."

Tony rolled his eyes, "When are you ever in the mood?"

Steve stared darkly into Tony unaffected gaze, he had 8 months to deal with this.

"Excuse me, maybe when you are stretched like a beach whale and have headaches the size of Texas and feel very uncomfortable would you understand. Fuck you Tony, you fucking bastard." Steve's voiced raised with each letter and he rolled to his side.

"You know its bad to lay on your side right?"

"Fuck you and you're fucking lower appendages."

"'Lower appendages' that's nice."

"I'm not in the mood Anthony."

"Yikes, full name."

Steve rolled his eyes and curled slightly under the covers and rolled on his back. His side started to cramp and so did his chest. He let out a frustrated groan.

"I told you."

Steve looked over at Tony who innocently typed away on his stupid tablet.

"Oh shut it." Steve murmured and tried to get comfortable.

His back hurt. He groaned.

Tony looked at him, "You alright?"

Steve ran a hand through his hair and grumbled out "Yeah."

"You don't look comfortable."

"My back hurts is all, I'm fine."

Tony laid the tablet next to him "I can help."

Steve knew what this meant "No, its fine Tony."

"Sit up"

Steve looked and tony and he only stared pointedly back. He sighed and turned on his side to sit up.

Tony moved in back of Steve and rubbed his shoulders gently soothing the tense shoulders until he felt Steve relax under him.

He moved lower until he reached his back and rubbed a bit more. Steve moaned, his back felt better as he ran over Steve's knotted back. He pressed down slightly harder when he got to Steve's lower back.

"How's that?"
Steve leaned his back on Tony shoulders, "So good."

After a few more minutes at his ministrations he stopped when he felt him relax completely. Tony rubbed a hand gently over Steve's bump and kissed the blonde's temple.


Steve pulled Tony's hand to his clothed member. He groaned when tony grabbed his member inside his underwear and slowly stroked it. Steve moaned, his back practically arching.


"Ssh. Just let me take care of you."

Tony pulled Steve's shirt off. He rubbed Steve's shoulders and rubbed his fingers over Steve's tender nipples. Steve groaned his breath hitched slightly.

He pinched Steve's nipples gently enjoying the louder gasp coming from his mouth.
He kissed down Steve's neck and rubbed his hands again over Steve's tummy kissing his shoulders. "So beautiful and all mine."

Steve moaned when Tony pushed him back into him, he could feel his husbands erection.
Tony rubbed his thighs and squeezed them when they got closer to his crotch. "I love how soft this" he grips Steve's thighs, "has gotten."

He pulls his hand once again down Steve's member rubbing the slit and scraping it very slightly. Steve thrusts up and groans eyes tightly closed mouth slack.

Tony rubs his a few more times before reaching down further and rubbing his balls. " Fuck."

He wrapped his hand around Steve's shaft and tightened his grip and pumped hard.. Steve rubbed Tony's forearm and moaned. He turned and Tony kissed him softly.

The doctor warned him of being careful when having sex, that meant no "rough" sex. Surprisingly, it had no affect on the couples sex life.

"Take me, please."

Tony chuckled "How else could we do it?"

Steve rolled his eyes "You better hurry up before I change my mind."

Tony kissed Steve's cheek, "You on top, unless you're not in the mood" he teased.
He rubbed Steve's back and helped Steve take off his pants. He moved to take off his pants and moved the pillows and laid against the headboard.

"You ready babe?"

"Steve crawled, his belly slightly swayed his movements. He carefully with Tony's steady hand sat on top of Tony's thighs carefully his husbands cock nestled between his cheeks, he could feel the precum.

Tony experimentally jutted his hips and watched in amusement as Steve whined.

Tony reached under the pillow and smirked "got it covered"

"You mean to tell me, you were planning this?"


Steve shook his head and grabbed the bottle pouring a generous amount on tony cock "god I love your cock, so much."

"Of course you do, you cockslut."

"Oh you love it don't pretend you don't."

"No, I love it when you ride me and tits bounce. And I like it a lot when YOU'RE screaming and panting when I fuck you."

"I don't have tits."

Tony snorted and reached and rubbed the soft flesh. "You could wear a bra if you wanted."
Steve stopped what he doing and blanched.

"You're making fun of me! I can't believe this! I-i can't believe you of all the shit things you say. You actually think I'm a girl! I can't even- I don't have tits! I'm LACTATING Tony! "

"Steve I didn't mean it that way. Baby, I'm sorry."

Steve stood on shaky feet, his eyes started to burn. "Well you can just take care of yourself! Or better yet find a WOMEN WITH A GREAT RACK and fuck her." Steve sat on the edge of the bed and let out a sob.

Tony got up and quickly wrapped his hands around Steve 's waist. "I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to upset you-that's the last thing I wanted to do. I love you okay I think you're beautiful and I love you. i just want to make you feel good sweetheart." he kissed Steve's shoulders.

"But I've gotten so-so fat." Steve whined and tony really wanted to laugh but he DIDN'T he just kissed Steve's neck.

"You're pregnant you're supposed to gain a few pounds Steve you know that."

"But I have cankles!"

"Your ankles are just swollen."

"But tony"Steve sniffed "I have stretch marks!"

"Baby, there's nothing wrong with you okay? You're beautiful and you're carrying our baby and there's nothing more beautiful than that. So stop feeling so self conscious."

"Oh. Tony that's so sweet." Steve sniffles. "Do you still want to ?"

Tony kissed Steve's wet cheek "only if you want to."

Steve nodded and fervently kissed Tony.

He climbed on top of tony and rutted against him. Tony moaned.

"This." He grabbed Steve's soft curves, "is my favorite." He dropped his hands lower and dragged a finger to Steve's pink hole and rubbed firmly eliciting a moan from Steve.

"Don't tease me Tony." Tony pressed against the ring of muscles slowly watched Steve's swollen nipples rise, he could have sworn he saw a few white dots drop from Steve's nipples.

He eagerly lick a dusty pink nipple biting down on the tip and sucked.

"AHHHH, fuck." Steve flushed. The stimulation was overwhelming.

Steve groaned when he felt another finger stretch him. He rotated his hips once he felt Tony's fingers brush again his prostate. He would cum soon he felt it.

Tony stopped his ministrations on one nipple and sucked on the other Steve rutted his hips screaming when Tony thrust his fingers harder.

Steve reached between him and Tony and wrapped a hand on his and Tony's leaking cocks.

He pumped in time to Tony's thrusts. Tony pulled his fingers from Steve's heat and pushed him on the bed.

"Are you ready baby?"

"Yes d-do it.' Steve blushed when he saw milk leak from Tony's mouth.

Tony positioned himself and thrusted slowly into Steve, moaning at how tight Steve is.

"Tony fuck me good"

Steve chanted as he felt his husbands tip brush against his prostate. He needed this.
Tony bent down and bit Steve's nipple hard earning a scream from Steve. He sucked and tasted Steve hot milk as he pounded balls deep into him.

Steve moaned louder coming as part quickly, " I need this, make me cum" he begged.

Tony leaned up and kiss Steve's neck. He wrapped his hand around Steve's throbbing dick.
Pretty soon Steve came hard thick white ropes shot out between the two. Steve groaned back arching and toes curling.

Tony thrusted a few more times, Steve's hole clenched tightly around and fuck it felt wonderful.

"You're so good Steve, so hot." Tony murmured kissing Steve before he came deep inside Steve. Both panted as Tony pulled out of Steve, he rolled on his side and placed a protective hand over Steve's belly and kissed him.

He watched in fascination as Steve's nipples hardened under his gaze as Steve was still coming down from his high.

"How was it?"

"Good." Steve kissed Tony's nose and Tony rubbed Steve's belly gently

"You look so good with my child inside you."

Steve blushed when Tony's hands wrapped around Steve's now hardening cock. He kissed Steve's cheek and stroked him a few times loving how sensitive Steve got.

"Tony.." Steve bit his lip barely able to contain a moan.

"Relax. You wanna cum again?"

"Ugh yeah."

Steve arched his back and Tony left kisses down Steve's chest.

"Come for me baby, that's it." Steve cummed moaning desperately. His body was still also sensitive.

Tony rubbed Steve's sides waiting for him to get through the aftershocks.



"I love you So much."

"I love you too sweetheart."

Steve kissed Tony before falling asleep.