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Journey Perspectives

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"You hate travelling?" Cloud asks me, and the answer pours out of me, unstoppable.

"... I don't know. But, I don't have anywhere else to go. So I guess it doesn't really matter whether I like to travel or not."

Aerith raises an eyebrow at me, and I realise the snippy tone of my answer. But this is the second time I've had my life and my home destroyed in front of me, and I haven't been able to do anything about it. Once again, I'm travelling away from the wreckage of my life, whether I want to or not.

If I stop and think about what happened, I'm gonna start cryin', and I'm gonna be cryin' forever, feels like. I keep returning to the horrible moment when I woke and saw what had happened to Sector Seven, and I realised... Marlene was in there. Marlene was under there. My little baby girl was crushed under the rubble and metal and it was MY FAULT.

It's easier to follow Cloud. He seems to know where he's goin' and what we're doin' next. Even if the path leads me away from Marlene, and away from Midgar. Maybe it's for the best.

I've been trapped in Hojo's laboratories for a long time. Now I'm free. I'm on the wrong side of the Junon Sea, and I've no way of getting home. I'll travel with these people, and hope their journey leads me to the other side of the ocean.

Once it does... well, we'll see. They're interesting enough, and I want to see what happens next. It may be their journey finishes before mine does. But I need to get home, pick up my role as protector of the lands again, and prove I'm better than that worthless good-for-nothing who fathered me.

If I stop moving, I'll stop altogether. That's what it feels like. As long as I'm moving and fighting, I don't have to think about things. Don't have to think about the holes in my memory, and why they might be there. Don't have to think about the weird dreams I had in that cell. Don't have to think about any of it.

So yeah, let's get moving. Maybe if I keep moving for long enough I'll be able to get away from the questions, get away from the lack of answers, and get away from the whole problem. Maybe.

All my life I've dreamed about getting out of Midgar, seeing the rest of the world. Now I can. I know Barret and Tifa are both upset about the fall of the Sector Seven Plate. I know Cloud got really shaken up by the escape of that Jenova thing from the containment area, and learning that Sephiroth is out there somewhere. I know we now have the whole of Shinra on our tails.

But... out of those terrible things, I'm getting something I've wanted all my life. I get to travel. I get to see the world. I can't wait.