The Jubilee building and studio have become a home for Louis and Harry throughout the past several months. With their best pals, Liam and Niall working for the up and coming pop culture website, they often asked the pair for help in some of their video segments.
Once the website and the official Jubilee Twitter began hitting off in the right direction, the company had decided to create a YouTube account, where plenty of trendy segments would be filmed by the writers and creators. They felt it was another platform where they could gain an audience. Liam and Niall both are in Jubilee’s entertainment group, working in video operations where they help strategize ideas and film videos that eventually go up on their YouTube page.
A wide variety of videos have been uploaded that tackled different portions of popular trends amongst the internet. Their most popular video up to date involving of men – including Harry and Louis – following makeup tutorials from well-known makeup artists online. With ten million views after just one week, it easily put them on the internet map, competing with the top dogs of Buzzfeed.
With that being said, they had to up their game and create more unique ideas that would grasp the general public and keep them subscribed. Which led to the inspiration of twisting up the whisper challenge that blew up in the past year.
“It’s already been done, Niall. Try again,” Louis jokes, taking a sip of his water.
Niall slaps his arm. “Let me finish. So, it’s like the whisper challenge because the two people will have noise-cancelling headphones, but they won’t be whispering.”
“Then it’s not the whisper challenge.”
“That’s why I said this is inspired by it, for fucks sake, let me finish before your criticism. Anyway, the two will have those headphones and we’ll be asking them a series of questions.”
Interesting , Louis thought. “What are the questions, and why can’t the other person hear their answers?”
“You’ll see. So, will you and Harry be in it?”
As if Niall would allow them to actually say no.
A week later Harry and Louis find themselves at Jubilee , waiting for their turn to film with Niall, Liam, their co-worker, Perrie and other people they aren’t too familiar with. Currently, a married couple is being filmed who are making everyone laugh with the stories and confessions that are being told along the way. There is a variety of different pairs that are partaking in the video. Married couples, siblings, neighbors, and friends – like Harry and Louis.
For the past eight years, and much to Louis’ dismay, he and Harry have only been friends. The best of friends.
The two met freshmen year of college, where Harry was friends with only Niall at the time. Niall and Louis were roommates, so because of him, Louis met Harry and everything changed.
It took a few years after discovering his sexuality for Louis to be confident with being gay. He was a late bloomer, needless to say. Those handful of years were troubling, with getting involved with men and women to finally accepting the fact that it was men all the way with him. However, after embracing being gay and coming out to his family and close friends, his personal insecurities excluding being gay came into play. With that, he held off relationships, one-night stands, and anything of the sorts.
Then he met Harry.
Harry was exuberant and full of life, which Louis was able to notice from their first words to each other. He represented what loving life and new experiences was all about, and Louis admired him so much from the very beginning. The lively boy didn’t have a care in the world about what others thought of him, he wasn’t afraid of trying new things, and he loved caring and forming new relationships with everyone that deserved it.
Instead of just sitting back and watch Harry from afar with his bubbly personality, Louis became to be right there with him. The two formed a friendship that overcame everything that came their way. They had so much in common that led to hours of conversations of meaningless things. They would stick together like glue, rarely finding one without the other close behind.
When Louis’ mum lost her battle with leukemia a couple years ago, Harry was right there by his side with all the tears, and mourning. He could never repay him for it. But Harry wouldn’t want Louis to repay him, he did it because he cared about Louis and wanted to be supportive since that is the type of person he is.
It was too easy for Louis to eventually fall in love with him, but it wasn’t easy at all to confess his feelings to him. So, he never has, because he’d much rather keep the incredible friendship they have than ruin it all by his feelings.
Louis turns towards the door to see the devil himself pop in the room. Although known for the flashy and standout sense of style, Harry’s much more laid back today. Dressed in washed out loose jeans, a white t-shirt under a black coat and finished off with some classic Vans, Harry looked cuddly and soft. Personally, Louis misses Harry’s long locks, but within the year he’s gotten used to the shortness of his brown barely-there curls. The coldness from outside has given the lad flushed cheeks with a rosy shade on his nose, making him look undeniably cute.
Louis wants to kiss him so bad it hurts.
“Hazzaaaaaa, may I help you?”
Harry gives him a hug, and Louis would deny he sneakily took a deep breath as he was enveloped in the scent of Harry. “Niall says that they’re ready for us to film. I just needed to set my stuff down in here.”
He removes his coat, but not before taking out a small claw hair clip and placing it in his hair to push away the wild longer pieces of hair that are beginning to bother him. With that, the pair exit the room and head to the other end of the hallway where the doors to the studio were.
When entering the large room, they noticed it was mostly empty and plain in color. Normally, there are several different colors of backdrops around the room, with many people running around as they worked on their own projects. Today, however, there was one simple white backdrop, two chairs facing each other and a handful of camera crew people.
As they approached the group, Perrie notices the two and squeals. “Hi babes! I haven’t seen you in forever. ”
“Considering you’ve been on your fucking honeymoon for a month, I say it’s your fault that you’ve been deprived of my beauty and Harry’s ugliness,” Louis teases, giving her a peck on the cheek. The action is repeated by Harry, who glares at Louis for his side comment.
Perrie pouts in return and purposes, “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for abandoning you, my loves. Let’s go out to dinner soon, yeah? I’ll bring the wifey with me.”
Her suggestion would appear as if their dinner is to be a double date, which, of course Louis so desperately hoped it could be. Perrie, as well as the majority of their closest friends were very much aware of Louis’ feelings towards Harry. All the time, they pester him to ask Harry out on a date but clearly Louis never satisfied them which only led to more annoying taunting.
“Sounds like a plan,” Harry answers, leaving to greet Liam.
Wait, him and Harry never go out to dinner with just Perrie and Jade. It’s usually a group thing with more of their friends.
With that thought in mind, Louis narrows his eyes at the blonde in front of him. “I see what you’re doing, and I don’t like it.”
“Oh c’mon, Lou. If you don’t have the guts to take Harry out on a date, I have to step in because this is getting ridiculous. How many years has it been now? Five?”
Her and all his so-called friends are infuriating, and Louis doesn’t know why he keeps them around. “You’ve been fired as my friend. Good day, Ms. Edwards.”
“That’s Mrs. Thirlwall-Edwards to you!”
Louis flips her the bird as he meets the group by the two chairs in front of the backdrop. Niall seems to just have said something funny since Harry is having difficulty catching his breath from laughing so hard. While Niall looks proud by his achievement, Louis is definitely not jealous since he usually sees Harry laugh this hard from only his jokes and stories.
“Boys. What’s so funny?”
Harry is finally able to breathe so it seems. “Niall was just telling me about a Tinder date gone wrong he went on yesterday.”
Before anyone can get another word in, Liam takes a look at his watch and announces it’s time to start filming. Harry and Louis take a seat facing each other, soft smiles on their faces. They mic up as Louis fixes pieces of hair sticking out underneath his beanie, making sure his jeans are folded up nicely to show off his ankle tattoo and that there’s no gunk in his eyes.
When he seems ready to go, he looks up to already see Harry staring at him with amusement. “You all set, princess?”
“Yes. And your hair clip thingy looks weird.”
Louis’ lying, again.
With that huge smirk on his stupid face, Harry knows Louis’ lying as well.
“So, gentlemen, I’ll start filming and then I’ll explain what’s going to happen. Blah, blah, blah. Okay?” The two nod. Liam proceeds to count down with his fingers from three to one. “Alright guys, so what’s going to happen is that Niall and I are going to ask you a series of questions one at a time about each other. The person not answering the question will be wearing noise-cancelling headphones, so they won’t be able to hear each other’s responses. We want you to be truthful, unless it makes you uncomfortable then we’re not going to force you to answer, sound good?”
Louis mostly agreed to participate in this because Niall and Liam were his best friends, and he’s already done a number of these videos. For the most part they have been fun and weird, to say the least. However, for this particular video, he admits that he’s a little apprehensive about it. Since the point of it was to talk about things about his and Harry’s friendship from his point of view in front of Harry. And while the variety of questions may be lighthearted, he knows there’s a possibly of the questions to get more serious. And honestly, Louis doesn’t know how truthful he’s willing to be.
“Let’s start with Harry, so Louis take the headphones, blast some music from the phone and wait.”
Over his beanie, the headphones cover his ears. Louis opens up the music app and scrolls through his long list of songs until he finds one. When he comes across Victorious from Panic! Of the Disco , he deems it the perfect choice so he presses play. As he looks at Harry, he finds him laughing.
“What?! ” Louis yells over the music. Harry only gestures for him to lower his voice and throws him a thumb up his way. He assumes that he’s good to listen to his music, watch Harry’s lip move, and try to read them without thinking of his own lips pressed against them.
Within a few minutes, Louis has concluded that he is no good at reading lips and very good at imagining Harry’s lips to do unspeakable things to him and his body. To add, his music shuffle must be on his bad side today since it’s choosing songs with very loud beats that makes it impossible to hear Harry at all.
It’s pathetic how easy it is for him to become mesmerized by Harry’s beauty. As he watches his lips move, Louis wish he can get a taste, just a small one just to answer the question of what he can possibility taste like. However, he knows the second he gets a taste, he’d be done for. He’d be ruined for anyone else, and is perfectly alright with that.
It’s hard to decide what Harry’s saying due to the multiple facial expressions that he’s displaying. He goes from laughing to looking fond with a blush, and looking dejected?
What on earth are they having him talk about?
Weird, Louis’ nerves have suddenly increased.
The entire time Harry’s eyes have not left Louis’, making it much harder to keep himself collected. It wasn’t until Louis could notice tears welling up in Harry’s green eyes that he goes to take off the headphones.
“No!” Harry shouts, stopping him. He puts up the ‘okay’ sign, which let Louis assume that he’s fine.
What could have had Harry at the point of crying? It’s rare to see him express such emotion, because even though he was bubbly and so sparkling, sadness was only seen by a few special people. Louis being one of those people. So, for Harry to openly allow himself to almost shed a few tears in front of a group of people, and potentially millions of Jubilee subscribers, was odd.
More songs play before Harry signals Louis to take off the headphones.
“Are you okay, love?” Louis immediately asks Harry. He gets up from his seat and goes to hug his mate. “Why were you about to cry.”
Harry chuckles softly. “It’s none of your concern, Lou. Honestly, I’m fine. Go sit down, it’s your turn.”
“Okay,” Louis replies slowly, going back to the chair. He passes the headphones to Harry, who plugs it in into his phone and chooses a song to play for himself. He nods to Liam when he’s set, allowing Liam to ask the first question.
“Introduce yourself please.”
“I’m Louis. I’m twenty-six and live here in New York City.”
“What do you do?”
“I write and produce music.”
Liam looks down on a sheet of paper with all the questions. “How long have you been mates with Harry?”
He smiles, which Harry returns. “Eight years.”
“How did you two meet and what was your first impression of Harry?”
Louis pauses, gathering his thoughts in hope he doesn’t sound like a mess. “His closest friend was my roommate in college, so we met right away in freshmen year. It was a few days after the first day of classes and he comes barging in with Niall, holding a huge box full of Xbox games. He stubbed his pinkie toe on the foot of the bed and fell to the ground, dropping all the games out of the box. It was hilarious.”
He thinks about the incident again and laughs loudly, his eyes closing up and mouth wide. Unaware of why Louis is even cackling, Harry giggles along with him. He did always say that Louis laughter was contagious.
“I called him Bambi, so my first impression of him was that I thought he was a baby deer.”
Liam continues with a few simple questions about some of the funniest things that have happened when they’ve hung out, and last picture they’ve sent to each other to see what they talk about. The questions suddenly got progressively trickier to answer. “What’s your favorite thing about Harry?”
Do you have a few weeks? Louis thinks to himself. How was he able to articulate his most favorite things about Harry’s soul in a matter of few minutes? “That’s tough.”
“Try,” Niall encourages.
“My favorite thing about Harry is…his heart? Does that count?”
“Sure, just elaborate on it.”
“His heart is the core of everything he is as a person. He loves to give and care for everybody, he’s thoughtful, respectful and funny. He’s strong, smart, and full of life, you know? He loves to help and make sure people are comfortable. And it’s all because he has a good heart. He’s so good. ”
Louis’ response came in a soft, almost in a whisper and if he wasn’t mic’d up, he wouldn’t be able to be heard. He then adds, “Don’t tell Harry I said he was funny, he already has a big head for no reason.”
“What annoys you about Harry?”
“He’s too energetic sometimes,” Louis jokes, although he’s not entirely joking. “He always wants to do something and go out and sometimes I love being in bed and binge-watching The Office. ”
“What makes Harry a good friend?”
This one is too easy. “He’s always there when I need him or, hell, when I don’t even know I need him. All throughout college, he’d help me study because he was always book smarter, he’d bring me food when I worked long shifts. But I knew he was the best friend a person could have when my mom passed away.
“I had friends who sent their thoughts and prayers and went about their day after that, but Harry- Harry mourned with me and let me mourn with him. I had to immediately take a flight back home when I got the news she was getting sicker, and he scraped up money he didn’t really have to go with me. He helped with my sisters and brother as my step-dad and I made the funeral arrangements. He cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner for everyone, so my step-dad and grandparents didn’t have to worry about another thing.”
His own set of tears threatened to fall, Harry looked concerned, but Louis refused to let them go. “He kept our family together by just being there and he had no obligation to do so. He did it because he’s my best friend, an amazing fucking friend.”
He always knew he was lucky to have a friend like Harry, typical friends do not do everything that Harry does. It’s easy to look past that when you don’t think about it, it’s not something you take the time to put into thought. But at a time like this, when you’re asked about your friendship with a person, you truly get to feel how fortunate you are, and Louis is more than grateful for what he has.
He may be in love with Harry, but it’s so important to him that they have the friendship they share.
When he’s collected, he lets Liam continue with the next question. “Okay, um, have you ever lied to Harry?”
Okay, well, it’s not that he has flat out lied to Harry about his feelings since it’s something they don’t talk about. So, it doesn’t count, does it? “I mean, of course I have. Just last week, I ate the last of his organic vanilla bean ice cream and I made him think he ate it when he was drunk after bar hopping.”
“Take that, Harold,” he tells the oblivious Harry, who grins at him as if he knew what Louis admitted to.
More questions were thrown his way, Louis discussed if he was happy with the type of friendship he shared with Harry – he’s very much happy. Liam also managed to get Louis to talk about the most personal thing that he’s told Harry – which was his struggle with his sexuality. A few more were asked, assuming some would be edited out because he felt like his answers weren’t all that interesting.
When it’s announced that there’s two questions left, Louis is left worried. They bounced back and forth from the type of seriousness they were, and with the final two needed to be answered, Louis knows they’re going to be more on the personal side and he’s afraid that he’s going to blurt out his deepest thoughts about Harry.
“Louis, if you can change anything about Harry, what would it be?”
His response is immediate. “Nothing.”
“Nothing at all?”
Maybe I’d change him, so he’d be in love with me too. “He’s perfect. He has the most warming personality, he’s weird as fuck, and he’s loyal. I love having him around just for the sake of having him around. There are days where I want to be left alone, but if Harry comes knocking, wanting to go to Coney Island at seven at night, I’d go in a heartbeat. I’ll give him a hard time about it, but I’d go. I don’t want him to change.”
As Liam goes to the final question, Louis adds, “There’s no one like Harry Styles in this world, why would I want to change that?”
His eyes bore into Harry, wishing he could hear right now what he’s saying so he knows that he’s amazing and that he needs to continue to be the most incredible person to walk on this earth.
“Ready for the last question?”
“Go for it,” Louis demands.
“What’s one thing that Harry doesn’t know about you and that you wish to tell him?”
This is just fantastic, if Louis learns that Niall and Liam purposely threw this question for him, they are going to wish they never met him. Because of course there is something he wishes to tell Harry, but he can’t. He can’t because he’d run the chance of ruining their friendship and that cannot happen.
He takes off his beanie, breathing in deeply to calm down his nerves. Harry’s right here, in front of him. Clearly oblivious to want Louis’ answers are but will come aware of them when this video is posted. Louis knew the consequences if he were to utter the words aloud. Just because Harry can’t hear him at this precise moment, he will eventually.
However, this is Louis’ chance to say the words he’s been feeling for the past eight years. For eight years he’d wanted to shout that he loves Harry, that he’s the most important person in his life.
Suddenly there is a moment that comes to mind for Louis. A moment that took place when he was back home in Northern California after his mother’s funeral. The two were closely sat together on a hill looking over the city, blankets underneath them, and a beer in each their hands. It was the first time Louis had been away from his siblings since he came back, giving him a moment to be thinking by himself and not worry about the well-being of the girls and Ernie.
Harry had been silent the entire time, allowing Louis to get lost in his own thoughts. Still, Louis wanted Harry to just talk, he seems to get lost and find comfort when hearing Harry speak. “Can you just talk about anything, Harry? Please?”
A minute or so went by of Harry tap his worn out brown boots on the ground before he decided to speak, “What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but have never had the guts to do so?”
“I-I don’t know,” he chose to say instead because he’s an utter coward.
“I’ve always wanted to swim with the dolphins.” Harry’s confession brought belly laughter from Louis, the first time in such a long time and it felt so good. It’s a superpower that Harry held, and Louis loved him for it.
“Oh, my God,” Louis sighed, calming himself down. Harry on the other hand, looked immensely proud of making Louis laugh so hard, which he should be. “Why don’t you have the guts to do it?”
“Well, you’ve heard stories about them, and how they, you know,” he murmured. This boy.
“And are you ever going to do it?”
Harry nodded instantly. “Absolutely, because life’s too short to hold back on things you want. You know that, Lou.”
With that moment in thought, Louis whispers, his baby blue eyes looking straight at Harry’s green ones. “I’m in love with you.”
Louis doesn’t know how he looks, probably pale and ready to puke in front of everyone in this studio. He fucking managed to say the words that have been on the tip of his tongue for years, and yes, while Harry can’t hear, he still said it and that counts for something.
“I’ve been in love with you since we were eighteen-years-old,” he continues to whisper. “I’ve wanted to hold your hand, go out on dates with you, spoil you and let you spoil me in every type of way. I want to kiss you whenever I want to just because I can. I want to be introduced to your family as your boyfriend and get interrogated by your sister. I want to show you off to the world.”
He doesn’t even feel the tears fall. “I want to be that disgusting couple that people can’t stand to be around when we start to be in our own little world where no one else matters. I’ve dreamt to being proposed to by you and getting to propose to you, to promise you forever in this world. Even though you’re such a big person, I know you want a small wedding with just important people around, and I want to give that to you.”
It seems like once his secret is out, Louis can’t even stop, and no one could really blame him. He can’t look away from the love of his life, it’s giving him determination to keep going. Which is odd because he was always afraid to do this, always wanting to but one look to Harry he stopped himself from confessing. Today has certainly become different.
“I want to wake up every day with you beside me, morning breath, shitty hair and all. I want to watch you cook for us and occasionally kiss and dance around the kitchen, making memories that will be cherished forever. I want to be woken up abruptly by our child and, or, children, however they may come, crying and wanting our attention. My dream is to raise children with you and watch them grow into a perfect combination of us. I just want to be by your side for the rest of my life, until we’re old and gray. Because, fuck, Harry, I love you. ”
Two weeks have passed since Harry and Louis filmed at Jubilee, with neither of them discussing what the other spoke about. They both chose to wait until the video is posted up on YouTube to watch it. Louis suggested they watch the video separately, and that was totally him being selfish and wanting to be away from Harry when he watches and listens to what he admits to.
Of course, he’s terrified for what’s to come. It can go either way: Harry feels the same and they live happily ever after. Or, Harry’s feelings aren’t mutual, Louis is friend-zoned, and they continue to be friends or Harry fucks off.
Louis can’t see it going in that last direction though.
He’s also dying to know what Harry had said about their friendship, his perspective of it may be different from Louis’, so he’s definitely interested. He’s even tried to get Liam, Niall, and Perrie to gush what was said. Although it ultimately backfired because the trio have been avoiding Louis all together until the video’s up.
Louis has hours to prepare himself for a change he doesn’t know he’s ready for. Harry had gone home for the night, he cooked dinner for the two of them and watched the latest Scandal episode that they’re both obsessed with. Harry left with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek, only making Louis craving for more.
He wishes he can call his mom for a minute to get her to calm him down. Before she passed, she was fully aware of Louis feelings and only encouraged him to confess them to Harry. Yet, she knew her first born and how much he cherished their friendship too much to go up and risk it.
He cleans his face to get ready for bed. Louis then sighs when he throws himself on the mattress. The moonlight creeps into the room, leaving a light right on Louis’ nightstand. A picture of nineteen-year-old Harry and Louis at a frat party. Louis is sitting on Harry’s lap with their arms loosely around each other. Both of their smiles competing to be bigger than the other.
Harry’s then very curly hair was messed up due to Louis’ wandering fingers. Louis was in some suspenders phase his freshmen and sophomore year, so he wore his dark maroon pair with one suspiciously undone. Both of their cheeks were flushed, but it was undeniable to see how happy they were.
God, I hope tomorrow doesn’t turn out horrible.
The video is posted the following afternoon.
“Lottie, I can’t!”
His sister groans on the other line. “For fucks sake, Louis, just watch the damn video! You said so yourself that you’re curious of what Harry said, so go watch it and then you’ll fucking know!”
“You better watch your tone and language with me, young lady, or I will be washing your mouth with soap,” Louis threatens.
His computer screen was on Jubilee’s YouTube home page, with his and Harry’s video front and centered on the top of the page. With all the long content that Liam and Niall were able to gather, they decided to split all the videos, so the pairs would have their own video and make an ongoing series of it.
Of course, Harry and Louis’ were up first.
“What if his answers weren’t as deep as mine and only platonic? I’d only be making an ass of myself and I’ll be an embarrassment. Lottie, Jubilee has millions of subscribers, so they all will be watching me be fucking stupid. The video will somehow go viral because everyone will be telling their friends and family to see this pathetic dude and I’ll have to move out of the country. I’ll move to somewhere in Asia, deep in the jungle where no one will find me.”
Louis had dreamt of being an actor back in the day, he played being dramatic very well.
“The dramatics, I swear,” Lottie mutters. “Well, since you’re leaving to the jungle anyways, might as well see the video. Don’t call me until you’ve seen it. Bye!”
He’s left alone. All alone with his computer and with the video taunting him.
His phone buzzes on the table, Harry’s name on the small lockscreen. Watching the video after I get off work in an hour! Good luck xx H.
Taking a sip of his bitter coffee, Louis presses play.
And…an advertisement plays, and Louis is ready to throw the damn thing out the window. The bottled-up nerves had temporarily subsided enough for Louis to press play and YouTube tosses an unnecessary advertisement video on the screen.
Once the tampon commercial finishes, there’s a second of the loading screen before Niall is on display on the monitor.
“Welcome Jubilee lovers! Niall here with another video for you people. Have you guys ever wondered how another person thinks about you? How your spouse, friend, or sibling view your relationship? Well, we were curious to see the two different or similar point of views, so we brought in various pairs into the studio.
“Today, we have Louis and Harry. Two best friends for several years now. Let’s check it out.”
Louis pauses the video. It may be one in the afternoon, but he needs a shot of vodka.
The burning liquid is welcoming down his throat, making him wince with how strong it is. Once it’s gone, he goes back to the video.
He sees himself and Harry walk to the two empty chairs. God, Harry looks beautiful in front of the camera. Since Harry went first in answering the questions, he saw himself place the noise-canceling headphones on over his beanie.
“You good to go, Harry?”
He sees Harry nod and send a wink to him, butterflies erupting in his stomach.
“Start by introducing yourself.”
“Well, I’m Harry Styles, I’m twenty-six and I’m a freelance photographer here in New York.”
“How long have you been friends with Louis?”
The small smile that comes across Harry’s face on the screen is a smile that makes Louis’ heart melt instantly. It’s a closed smile, showing off his deep dimple and his eyes looking ever so soft. He begins to respond, his low voice coming out the speakers, sending shivers up his spine.
“Eight years, probably almost nine. So much time has gone by, it doesn’t make sense to count anymore.”
“I will still count,” Louis mumbled to the screen.
“Louis will still like to count them though.” His heart beats faster.
“How did you two meet and what was your first impression of him?”
“Oh, God,” Harry chuckles. The way they met always made Harry feel embarrassed all over again, yet he’ll still laugh along with everyone, so he absolutely hates it when Louis retells the story. It’s funny though to see Harry retelling it, with a slight blush on his cheeks from the humiliation.
“…and ever since, Louis’ called me Bambi and Niall doesn’t let me touch his Xbox games anymore. I’ll never live it down.”
“No, you won’t!” Niall yells off camera. Harry sticks his tongue out in return.
Liam reels them back into focus. “And you’re first impression of Louis?”
Harry doesn’t answer right away. He fixes the claw clip in his hair before he dares to respond. He removes his gaze from Louis in front of him, choosing to look down at his shoes instead. “The truth?”
“The first thing that came to mind when I saw Louis for the first time was he was so stunning.”
Harry from the computer spoke before Louis could get another thought in. “I mean, I have eyes, you know? I can appreciate how beautiful a person is. And it’s hard to not admit that Louis is an attractive person. Plus, I was eighteen, of course that’s going to come to mind.”
Okay, Louis thinks, then says aloud. “This is just the first impression he had of me, it’s not like he thinks that way now.” But still, Harry actually thought Louis was attractive at one point. This information makes Louis feel good about himself, knowing that in his suspenders and bright color clothing phase, he was seen as attractive.
“After all these years, what can you say is your most favorite thing about Louis?”
“Oh, that’s easy.” Louis pauses the video. He takes a deep breath because he hates this. He presses play. “It’s so easy to be around Louis. He makes everyone around him comfortable, he loves to include them, so no one feels left out. He has this ability to make people feel welcomed, and special. He can make the shyest of people come out of their shell, and that can be hard to do. I find that admirable, so that’s probably my favorite thing about him.”
“Let’s go the opposite then, what annoys you about Louis?”
“That’s easy too!” If Harry ends up still wanting to talk to Louis after this video, he is going to make Harry’s life a nightmare for answering this question way too fast. “He’s messy. We don’t live together, but he’s very much comfortable at my apartment. Which I truthfully don’t mind. But, there are still times when the messiness can be extreme. He probably has left more clothes at my place than he has at his. It can be annoying, but I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“So, that kind of goes into another question. If you can change anything about Louis, would you?”
“No.” Harry is stern with his answer. “He’s flawless.”
“Flawless?” He raises his eyebrows. Louis is taken aback, he’s not used to anyone other than his mom describe him with such a word. It means a lot more coming from Harry himself. However, he has so many flaws, it’s not even funny.
At this point of the video, they have switched it up to show Louis answering the same questions, he skips forward since he didn’t need to see him embarrassing himself all over again. He already lived it once, no use to living it a second time.
Once he sees that himself on the screen has the headphones back over his ears, he watches on. “Have you ever lied to Louis?”
Harry sighs. He’s back to looking at Louis, who’s bobbing his head to the music in his ears. “I have.”
“Maybe he ate the last from something and blamed me for it,” Louis tries to convince himself, worried that Harry has lied to him about something much more serious. He likes to think that the friendship that they have has honesty written all over it. With a possibility of there being lies between them, concerns Louis.
“Do you want to go more into detail about that?”
Louis leans forward in anticipation, only to be disappointed to hear Harry say, “I’m not really comfortable in talking about that.”
That’s it, Louis is more than worried now. A little white lie would not make Harry uncomfortable to talk about, so there’s something more serious that he’s been holding. What has Harry not been honest about?
“That’s alright, let’s talk about what makes Louis a good friend, yeah?”
Harry’s more somber expression lightens up with the thought of talking about Louis as a friend. “He’s an amazing friend. I’m pretty outgoing, so I love having lots of friends, but Louis is probably my closest, best friend. He can see when I’m not having a good day and goes about cheering me up until I’m laughing and smiling. He’s loyal, and always has my back to support me. He helps me think of ideas for work, encouraging me to take risk in my photography, it’s really nice to have.
“But, really, he’s great. My step-dad is sick right now, and…it’s not looking too good. But Louis has been there for me. And one would think that he’s doing it because I was with him when his mom passed away, but no, that’s just Louis. Louis protects and comforts the people closest to him. I’m far away from my family at the moment, but I know I have a family in Louis. I’m able to say that confidently because he’s a good ass friend.”
Harry wasn’t comfortable enough to answer the one thing Louis didn’t know about him.
Louis desperately needs to talk to Harry, but Harry has gone MIA the past few days. Louis’ a little hurt of what came out in parts of the video, but he’s more heartbroken because he’s gotten his answer.
Harry doesn’t feel the same and can’t even look or talk to Louis anymore.
With that awareness, Louis has buried himself in the studio. He’s been writing songs like crazy and dragging artists, writers, and other producers to come in to work with him. He’s just finished a session with a sister duo that went really well in his opinion. They are more known for their folkier sound, which is new to Louis, but has been embraced and successful so far.
If anyone has noticed a change in demeanor with Louis, no one has mentioned it. It had to be obvious though, Louis isn’t even trying to hide it. It seems to come out well when writing, so he doesn’t bother keeping it bottled in.
He’s been waiting on Harry to reach out to him, wanting Harry to have a moment to digest Louis’ responses and see how he’d want to go about their friendship. After a couple days going by, Louis knew what was going on. Almost every night since the video was posted he didn’t mind wrapping himself underneath his blankets and having a good cry until he fell asleep with exhaustion.
Lottie and his other sisters have tried to call and text him, but Louis hasn’t given much effort into talking to anyone. He didn’t want to hear their sympathy, he only wants two people.
His mom and Harry.
Nonetheless, they’re not here. With his stomach demanding food, Louis goes to the nearest pizza parlor down the street to get himself a couple slices and then he’ll head home. It’s Thursday, which means tonight there is a new Scandal . He supposes he has to start a new tradition and watch it alone since Harry is no longer around.
He arrives home to his apartment very cold. He goes to turn on the heater and changes into a warm pair of sweats with a t-shirt. Once he’s settled in on his couch, with pizza and beer in hand, he turns on the television and waits for the show to start.
Thankfully the heater warms the space up, so Louis is no longer shivering. He takes a sip of his beer until the doorbell rings.
Honestly, Louis doesn’t feel like moving from his spot, with a blanket covering his legs and a pizza on his lap, it doesn’t get better than this. He hopes it isn’t anyone too important, so they can assume he isn’t home and just leave.
It wasn’t until a low voice called out Louis’ name, that he drops the slice on the floor and disentangles himself from the blanket and off the couch. He hastily opens the door to reveal the man that has been the center of his thoughts for the past few days.
Harry can frustratingly look good every day, in every way, in everything, however, today, he doesn’t look his best. There’s dark circles underneath his usual sparkling green eyes. His hair is greased up and all over the place. He’s drowned himself in a pale-yellow sweatshirt – one of Louis’ favorites – and his normal tight jeans.
He looks just as tired as Louis, he almost suggests they go to his bedroom and cuddle until they fall asleep for a few days.
“Harry, what’s up? What’s-”
Harry stops him from going any further, “Stop, Louis. I need to talk before you say anything else.”
Nodding, Louis gestures for Harry to enter the apartment. He picks the fallen pizza off the floor and shuts off the TV. With the blanket in the way, he throws it across the room and places himself on one side of the sofa, with Harry taking the other side.
“You watched the video, right?”
Louis confirms that he had. “Okay, and I know you might be mad. And I just wanted to apologize-”
Wait, why is Harry apologizing? If anything, Louis should be the one apologizing for essentially ruining their friendship by confessing his stupid feelings. This is not making sense to him. “Harry, why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong, if anything, I should apologize-”
“You watched the video? Obviously it made you uncomfortable enough to not want to talk to me,” Louis babbled, standing to get farther away from Harry with the pain he’s feeling. He regrets saying anything for that stupid video, he thought – he hoped there was a possibility for something positive coming out of this.
Now, it’s something that he has to move on from and leave behind, it brings too much pain to his heart to even think about.
“Louis, I haven’t watched the video.”
He freezes. “What ? You-you said you were going to watch it after you were done with work?!”
Tired of sitting while Louis is left standing, Harry lifts himself off the sofa and starts pacing the room. “I had planned to. I got home, I turned on my computer and had it on my screen, but I couldn’t watch it.” When Louis asks him why, he adds, “I regretted how I didn’t answer some of the questions. I regretted how I said I lied to you before and I didn’t go into detail about it. I just felt like it was the wrong way and place to admit something like that.”
Louis’ curiosity skyrockets. It comes to mind then that Harry didn’t watch the fucking video. Harry doesn’t know that Louis practically told him that he is in love with him to his face. He’ll ignore it for now because he needs to get to the bottom of this. “Well, I’m here now. There’s no better time than right now while you have me in front of you.”
“I want to watch the video first here with you, it’s only fair since you had to see me being stupid. I bet you can cheer me up and give me the guts to tell you what I need to tell you.”
“No. It’s quite alright. We can forget that the video exists anyway, there’s no use in seeing it again and you reliving the moment a second time. In fact, let’s just forget this whole thing all together. You don’t have to tell me anything, we’ll put it behind us,” Louis rambles, heading to the kitchen. “I have some pizza and beer if you want some, I’m recording Scandal on DVR, so we can watch it.”
Harry follows him into the room, gently pulling him back by the arm. The touch sends shivers throughout Louis’ body, so intensely that he jumps back. He hates the hurt look that spreads across Harry’s face.
“You scared me,” Louis says quickly. “Sorry.”
“Lou,” Harry speaks softly. “You can trust me. Nothing’s going to change once I see the video.”
Everything is going to change, he’s sure of it and that’s why Louis’ anxious. Before, he was terrified with knowing that Harry was going to watch the video in his own apartment, away from him. Now, he’s going to watch it with him.
Running away to Asia is sounding like a great idea again. Maybe if he can quickly grab his laptop, he can lock himself in his bathroom and book a one-way ticket to the Philippines.
Because Louis was in his head, he didn’t get to see Harry and his floppy hair dash away towards the laptop. “ Harry! You little shit.”
Both of their giggles fill the small apartment, as Louis chases Harry who grips on the laptop tightly. They make it to Louis’ bedroom, where Harry throws his lanky body onto the mattress, scooting back until his back meets the headboard. He lifts the laptop open and begins to type the web address.
Louis doesn’t bother to stop him anymore. He gives up. It’s time, he feels like. Him and Harry are strong enough to overcome anything, he’s confident in that, so this is a true testament to see how strong their friendship is. If Louis can’t have Harry romantically or intimately, he knows that he’ll still have their friendship. And that is better than anything.
He stays standing by the bedroom door, as he watches Harry start to watch the video. He hears his own voice mixed with his, going back and forth with answering the never-ending questions that Liam and Niall came up with. He hears them talk about some funny college stories that were embarrassing at the time, but funny to look back on.
He hears himself talk about how important it was for Harry to be there for him when he lost his mom. Both him and Harry shed a tear when she’s mentioned. Finally, when he starts talking about if he would change anything about Harry.
“He’s perfect. He has the most warming personality, and yeah, he’s weird as fuck, but he’s so loyal. I love having him around just for the sake of having him around. There are days where I want to be left alone, but if Harry comes knocking, wanting to go to Coney Island at seven at night, I’d go in a heartbeat. I’ll give him a hard time about it, but I’d go. I don’t want him to change.”
Harry pauses the video to send a big smile to Louis. “You’re perfect too, you know.”
“Keep going,” Louis tells him.
And here he goes. Louis’ hands are sweating, the temperature seems to have risen within the last few minutes. He’s sure a migraine is coming, but most significantly, he feels content. He’ll survive with either outcome.
“I’m in love with you.”
His eyes snap open to meet Louis’. Immediately, Harry’s crying more. Louis’ stomach is doing somersaults, but he tries his best to ignore it and watch on.
“I’ve been in love with you since we were eighteen-years-old,” Louis hears himself whisper . “I’ve wanted to hold your hand, go out on dates with you, spoil you and let you spoil me in every type of way. I want to kiss you whenever I want to just because I can. I want to be introduced to your family as your boyfriend and get interrogated by your sister.
“I want to be that disgusting couple that people can’t be around when we start to be in our own little world where no one else matters. I’ve dreamt to being proposed to by you and getting to propose to you, to promise you forever in this world. Even though you’re such a big person, I know you want a small wedding with just important people around, and I want to give that to you.
“I want to wake up every day with you beside me, morning breath and all. I want to watch you cook for us and occasionally kiss and dance around the kitchen, making memories that will cherished forever. I want to be woken up abruptly by our child and children, however they may come, crying and wanting our attention. My dream is to raise children with you and watch them grow into a perfect combination of us. I just want to be by your side for the rest of my life, until we’re old and gray. Because, fuck, Harry, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Louis hates himself for what happens next. It’s dramatic, it’s cringy, but it all happens out of instinct.
Harry pushes the laptop aside and scrambles his way towards him. Louis meets him on the edge of his bed, with him standing over the green-eyed man. He takes his face in his smaller hands, rubbing his scratchy cheeks. “Really? You love me, Haz?”
“Being in love with you is the thing that you didn’t know, and I didn’t want to tell you like that in the studio, you not even getting to hear it. I’ve never had the guts, but I hoped that one day I could. Louis, I love you so fucking much.”
He must be dreaming. Louis is convinced he is not in the right state of mind, this is hard to believe because he’s been wanting this so much.
Louis finally gets to kiss the love of his life, and fuck, it feels like going home .
Harry lips feel as soft as he always imagined. They’re a bit chapped due to the cold weather outside, but quickly dampened by Louis’ tongue that runs along them. They both moan into each other’s mouths, finding relief with their lips pressed together. Louis is finally getting a taste after eight years and he can’t put into words to describe how it’s like.
Louis feels the warmth of Harry’s abnormally large hands gripping his hips underneath his loose shirt, his hold tightening as Louis deepens the kiss. Sparks can be used to define this kiss, but Louis will not admit to using that analogy.
Needing to catch his breath, Louis slightly pulls back, keeping their foreheads pressed against one another. “I love you, Harry. I have for years.”
“Me too, baby. I’m sorry it took so long.”
“I took so long also, don’t take all the blame. What’s important now is that we’ve told each other.” Harry dives back to press his lips against the corner of his mouth. He pulls Louis down with him on the bed, making the smaller man giggle.
God, Louis is so happy.
With Harry perfectly fit underneath his body, Louis straddles his boy, looking down at that beautiful face that he loves. He takes this opportunity to feel Harry’s body, gently tracing over the tattoos on his pale skin. “You’re beautiful.”
There’s a shy smile coming from Harry, it’s so endearing. “Not as beautiful as you are, baby. C’mon, kiss me some more, yeah?”
Louis obeys with pleasure, and does much more. It happens fast, their kissing became more frantic as they removed their clothes piece by piece. Next thing they knew, both are bare and underneath Louis’ comforters, continuing with their makeout session.
“We can stop whenever you want to, darling. If you think this is moving too fast, just say the word,” Louis assures Harry, rubbing his hand up and down his hard stomach.
Harry only shakes his head wildly. “No. I’ve waited eight goddamn years, and now that I have you, I’m not waiting anymore. If you’ll have me.”
“Um, no shit.”
Louis’ suddenly flipped so he’s underneath Harry’s larger body. He moves his arms to wrap around Harry’s neck, pulling him down to kiss him. He feels Harry everywhere and it’s honestly the best feeling to have him so close.
It’s almost unexpected when Harry’s hand gently tugs on Louis’ hardening cock. He moans when the movements are faster, bringing his own hand to touch Harry. “Can’t wait to make you come, baby.”
“Me too, Harry, darling. I want to see you come apart for me.”
“I always do for you.”
The image of Harry getting himself off to the thought of Louis is enough to take him over the edge, but since this is his first time with him, he has to hold himself together and make it last for as long as he can.
His precum is used to move Harry’s hand easier along his prick, it feels too good that Louis has to thrust up. “That’s it, baby. Move for me.”
Louis is falling apart only to Harry’s hand. A handjob is making him feel like a teenager all over again, and it only gets worse when Harry shuffles down, kissing and biting down his tummy and hips. Breathing deeply through his nose, Louis grabs onto the small curls.
Harry isn’t one to tease tonight so it seems as he’s quick to go down on Louis, head bobbing up and down at a steady pace.
“Oh, fuck. ” Louis all but practically yells. He’d have to apologize to his neighbors in the future.
This shows Louis that Harry loves to suck dick, because he’s so fucking good at it. He lets go of the thought of him practicing so much to be this good, he really doesn’t want to get soft. Not when he’s so close.
Since he could no longer see Harry because he’s underneath the thick blanket, Louis throws them off the bed, he cannot not see this. What a sight it was, Harry grinding against the mattress, chasing his own orgasm as he’s pleasuring Louis. He swirls his tongue at the tip and lowers himself once again all the way, taking it all.
Harry doesn’t have a gag reflex and Louis is ready to die.
It starts to get sloppy when Harry gets close, losing control as he tries to multitask. Louis motions for Harry to pull away, but he’s ignored as the action continues more desperately.
“Darling, let me come on you,” Louis requests with a whimper, and that manages to make Harry pull away enthusiastically.
“Please, Lou.” And, shit, Harry’s voice is so deep.
With encouraging words purred by Harry, he didn’t stand a chance in lasting any longer. With heavy breaths as he tries to steady himself, Louis splattering Harry’s tattoos with himself. With needing to kiss his curly-haired boy more, he pulls him up to touch his swollen lips.
Harry, still harder than before, needed to let go and feel as amazing as he did. Louis ducks in for a filthy kiss, tongues invading each other’s mouths, teeth clashing but neither of them are caring at this point. Louis quickly turns over to his nightstand to find his lube, he squeezes a decent amount on his hand, and grabs Harry to stroke him off.
“You’re so big, Harry,” Louis sighs into Harry’s ear. “I can’t wait for us to do more.”
“Like what? Tell me, baby.”
He quicks his pace when Harry starts to thrust up carelessly, giving the control to Louis. “You’re going to fuck me. And it will feel so fucking good, so good that you’ll ruin me for anyone else. I’ll always want you, because I love you.”
“I love you too, Louis, so much,” Harry whines into Louis’ mouth, desperate to feel his lips. “I can’t wait to do it all with you.”
“All of it?”
Harry nods, biting Louis’ bottom lip. “Sex, marriage, kids, old and gray, everything.”
Picturing it all is making hard again, and who knew domesticity is a turn on for him? Maybe because it’s domesticity with Harry Styles, yeah, that’s it.
“We’ll do it all, Harry. I promise, but you have to come for me now, yeah? Let me see you.” Louis tugs Harry harder, biting his ear making his boy come undone right before his eyes and fuck, it’s a sight to see.
This has been imagined by Louis more times than he is willing to admit. He has never seen Harry’s cheeks so red and flushed, looking blissfully pleased and relaxed. His body shook with the aftermath of an intense orgasm. He collapses on top of Louis’ body, not thinking at all that he might be squishing him. Louis only welcomes it, more than happy to have Harry’s sweaty naked body smothering him.
Once both are calm in the dark room, Louis remembers he was wondering about one thing. “What’s the lie that you refused to talk about in the video?”
“Oh, fuck,” Harry chuckles, laying down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He waits until Louis is tucked beside him, his lips connecting momentarily with his jaw. “You’re going to be the death of me, aren’t you?”
“You know it,” Louis replies cheekily, sticking out his tongue only to retreat it when Harry attempts to bite it. “Oi, fuck off with the biting.”
“You kinky little shit, you like the biting, I can already tell.”
“Just tell me the lie, Harold. I’m not getting any younger here.”
“Okay. Remember Zayn’s going away party a few years ago?”
He got shitfaced and woke up in his bed without any recollection of the night prior. He’d been upset Zayn decided to move to London out of the blue. He and Zayn weren’t as close as Louis was with Harry, but if it wasn’t for Harry, Zayn would’ve been his numero uno. So when Zayn announced he was leaving New York to go across the Atlantic to London, Louis didn’t take it very well. But, he did show up to his going away party, in which Harry had to drag him to come to. Louis had refused to go, declaring he was on strike. Clearly Harry worked his magic - puppy eyes - to convince Louis to go, and he agreed only if he could drink as much as he wanted. So he did. So, of course Louis doesn’t remember. “Not too much, I remember there being a party and that’s about it.”
“Well, my love, you got so smashed that I had to take care of you the entire night.” My love, how disgustingly sweet, Louis will not puke. “I led you out to balcony where we stayed the majority of the party. We talked about the most random things, you told me about a pet turtle that you loved, and how when it died you then asked your mom for a donkey. You confessed about your secret wish of being those Thunder from Down Under guys in Vegas, but you couldn’t because you’re small and not Australian.”
“I think there’s a reason why I subconsciously chose to not remember that night,” Louis murmured to himself. Goosebumps creeps up his arms, which Harry notices and grabs the blanket from the edge of the bed to cover them both.
“I had already been in love with you for years, but it was at that moment where I knew that I could take care of you for the rest of our lives and I’d love every second of it.”
Apparently drunk Louis is in fact very charming to convince Harry that, so he applauds himself. “I’ll make sure to get drunk more, so you can have that revelation over and over.”
“I kissed you that night.”
This is news. Louis has fucking kissed Harry before and he doesn’t even remember it? “What the fucking fuck?”
Harry shrugged, trying to find the words to fittingly explain his thought process at the time. “I knew you’d forget in the morning. You were really drunk, Lou. We were cuddled up, you were being so cute and when you puckered your lips I went for it. The next morning, Niall told you that you were with me the entire night and then you asked me if anything interesting happened, and I said-”
“-nothing happened,” Louis finishes because he remembers the morning after. It was hard to forget due to all the pain and two-day headaches he suffered with.
There’s a kiss on his temple that gives him butterflies, Louis doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to this. “So, that was my lie. I kissed you and didn’t tell you about it when you asked.”
“That’s a pretty big lie, Harold.”
“Not as big as stealing my organic vanilla bean ice cream and making me think it was me.”
“We meet again, Styles.”
Louis finds himself sitting across Harry once again beside a black backdrop this time. Jubilee’s series of “Both Sides” had been a huge hit, calculating millions of views for each video that was posted. Like Louis predicted, his and Harry’s video in particular went viral, but not because he looked like an idiot like he assumed, but rather for how romantically sappy it was.
It also helped that Louis and Harry got together because Louis had the guts to confess his love to his boy. People found their social medias, and needless to say, they were nuts when they found a picture of them both on each of their accounts.
So, they have returned to the same studio and probably using the same chairs, which warms Louis’ heart. Liam once again states the instructions, reassuring Louis and Harry know what is to come. Once they were both settled and everyone behind the camera were set, a seven-month-old pregnant Perrie counted down from three.
“Hello boys, welcome back to “Both Sides”. Let’s get right to it. Last time Harry went first in answering the questions, so it’s Louis’ turn today.”
Harry’s hair has grown significantly longer since the last time they were facing each other in these chairs, and in Louis’ opinion, he looks just as beautiful, if not more. Quite frankly, he might be a little bias. His boy’s curls are more defined with the longer length, which Louis loves because it gives him more leverage in the bedroom.
“Don’t talk negatively about me now, honey,” Harry jokes, blowing a kiss Louis’ way.
Louis winks. “Of course I will, darling.”
The noise-cancelling headphones are promptly over his small ears, with the music blasting so he can’t hear a thing. With that, Liam asks the first question.
“So, Louis, how did Harry propose?”
In response, Louis looks straight at the camera and smirks.