Stiles and Derek kept exchanging glances. It was three days until their wedding and Lydia said she wanted to take them out. They hadn’t thought much about it at the time, but she picked them up and drove them two towns over to a ridiculously fancy restaurant that they had never thought of going to. It had tablecloths and silverware and the most ridiculously stuck up staff that they had ever imagined. They really didn’t do things like this.
They spent the first fifteen minutes trying to not freak out as Lydia proceeded to order wine and food for them, rare steak for Derek an something she assured was close to a lamb burger for Stiles.
“Is there something wrong with the wedding?” Stiles finally asked, not able to take it any more. “Is there something wrong with the boys? Are they dying? Is there some kind of evil coming and we need to postpone the wedding? Is Derek dying? Are Allison leaving Scott and Isaac? Am I dying?”
Lydia patiently watched as he went through worst-case scenarios before holding up her hand. “I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be the one breaking any of that news to you.”
“But you have news?” Derek asked.
Lydia looked thoughtful. “Well no, I have a gift for you.”
Derek and Stiles leaned back in their chairs, bracing themselves a little.
“Besides this dinner?” Stiles asked hesitantly.
“Of course,” she replied. “This is just the setting.”
“The setting for what?” Derek asked a tinge too harshly.
Lydia held out a trifold bundle of papers.
Stiles was the one who took them, forehead wrinkling up in confusion.
“This is some very personal information,” Stiles said.
Derek grabbed it and read it over. He looked up at Lydia, eyes glaring.
“No,” he said, putting the paper down.
“What are you saying no to?” Stiles asked, still confused.
Lydia sat with her hands clasped. “Derek is saying no to my offer.”
“And what offer is that?” Stiles asked.
“Her womb,” Derek said.
Stiles looked at Derek as if he had grown another head. “That is a word that I never want to hear out of your mouth again.”
“No worries,” Derek said looking up at the very extravagant ceiling lighting.
Stiles turned his incredulous look to Lydia. “You want to be our baby moms.”
Lydia looked at him witheringly. “That is a word that I never want to hear out of your mouth again.”
“You want to have our baby?” Stiles said, turning the page sideways, as if it would somehow make more sense at a ninety-degree angle.
“Of course,” Lydia said. “I’m a perfect candidate. I’m intelligent, good looking, at the peak of health. I believe that I can offer you great genetic material for offspring.”
Stiles got a horrified look on his face. “Isn’t Dade enough? I can imagine a hybrid of a your smarts, my craftiness, and Derek’s werewolf brain. To be honest it is terrifying.”
Lydia sighed. “I appreciate your enthusiasm for my genius, but any child I would have with you wouldn’t be a werewolf. I’m not some kind of biological mad scientist; I couldn’t splice the three of us together. I’m not discriminating, I am willing to have either one of your children.”
Stiles looked between Derek and Lydia. “Not taking over the world with mad genius is good. Non-discrimination is also good. Very good. That is a thing.” He looked between Lydia and Derek and deflated. “I really have no idea what I’m supposed to be saying in this situation.”
“That we have a five year old Alpha and a one year werewolf super genius, who could probably take over the world, because of curiosity, at any given time. We’re a little busy,” Derek said gruffly.
Lydia smiled calmly. Stiles unconsciously moved backwards.
“Henry is so well adjusted I don’t even believe that he is yours,” Lydia countered. “And Dade is a disciple of Henry, Dade dotes on the three of you and would never do anything to make you mad at him. He just is curious. You two are the best parents I’ve ever seen. You two have them under control, you have two very happy babies.”
“Thanks,” Stiles said uncomfortably. “But I don’t think that this should happen.”
“She’s nearly thirty and having a crisis,” Derek muttered and violently grabbed bread out of their basket and then cruelly tore it further on his plate.
“Don’t be so pedestrian,” Lydia sighed. “I am not craving children.”
Stiles raised an eyebrow at her. “I think you might.”
“Okay,” Lydia conceded. “That may be partially true, I like the idea of having kids. However I don’t want to raise them, I’m always traveling and I have my work.You guys are the only one that I would trust with this. I should procreate.”
“Lyds,” Stiles said quietly. “I don’t mean to be mean, but we’re not really up for co-parenting. If you do this then the kid is ours, it isn’t yours.”
Lydia raised an eyebrow. “Like Henry and Dade? I’m the one who set Henry up with that amazing pre-pre school program. I’m the one who you call to break disputes when you are tied. I named Dade, although Henry named him Dade, but his birth certificate says Claude after your mother and that was my suggestion, all I will ever want is to be part of this kid’s life the same way I am for Henry and Dade.”
Stiles thought for a moment. “That does sound logical, but…”
“He used to be in love with you! We’re not Scott and Isaac,” Derek exploded. “You can’t have our baby.”
Both Lydia and Stiles just stared at Derek. They didn’t notice that everybody in their general area were also staring at him also.
“It’s a little shocking to me that they send you to mediate diplomacy,” Lydia said dryly.
“It kind of is,” Stiles agreed, looking wide eyed at Derek.
Derek just stared at the pieces of bread on his plate.
Stiles mouth quirked up into a small smile. “I’ve been waiting for four years for you to bring that up, to make me feel guilty for having her in our lives. I have a whole speech that I have ready.”
Derek looked at him; the eyebrows had reached epic proportions of preparing to have his world crumble like the little pieces of his bread.
“Now that you’ve said that it sounds stupid and I don’t want to dignify your reaction with a speech,” Stiles said. Derek’s eyes flew to look at Stiles, Stiles just smiled at him softly. “That argument doesn’t hold enough weight to even fight back against.”
“He’s right,” Lydia said with a finger tapping against her cheek. Then she looked at Stiles for a long moment and then shook her head and looked at Derek.
“Really Derek Hale?” Lydia asked. “We’ve had this conversation.”
Derek shifted uncomfortably under the weight of Lydia’s stare, Stiles knew that being a good boyfriend and soon to be husband he should probably deflect Lydia. She wasn’t an easy one to deal with all the time; running interference with Lydia was probably in their wedding vows.
Stiles turned towards Lydia. “What about your future? What if you meet someone and then you bring them home and it turns out we have a little red head? What will you say?”
Lydia tilted her head. “I will say that my best friend and his werewolf mate—“
“Nobody says that,” Derek mumbled.
“—and his werewolf mate wanted a child and as part of their family I volunteered to give them a child,” Lydia said. “I will also mention that my other best friend is living with her two werewolf boyfriends, that my love for my lizard mind controlled boyfriend saved him back in high school, then he became a werewolf, and that I’m a banshee and can see dead people. I will not hide anything from anyone that I will be with, if that is even in the cards for me, and there is going to be a whole heap of things that my imaginary future partner will have to deal with. A little red headed child amidst the whole rabble of mini-humanoids that I call family will honestly be the least difficult thing for this imaginary future partner to handle.”
Stiles’s eyes got wide and then he turned his head to Derek. “I’m tapping out. This is all on you.”
Lydia smirked superiorly and turned her gaze to Derek. She waited expectantly.
Derek looked up at him calmly. “You’re crossing a line.”
Lydia nodded. “We don’t have lines.”
“You and Stiles don’t have lines,” Derek said. “You and I do.”
Lydia sighed. “I pick out your sheets and underwear, you take care of my money. I fly across the world to watch your children. I listen to your boyfriend and future husband come up with new and almost frightening ways to have sex with you. We don’t have lines, Derek Hale.”
Derek looked down at his hands. Stiles fingers came over his.
“You can say no Derek,” Lydia said softly. “I won’t be offended. I won’t force a child that you would love less than Henry and Dade. I just know that you want a big family and I want you to have a big family.”
Derek looked over at Stiles.
“I love you,” Stiles said softly.
They both looked over at Lydia who was now the one looking uncomfortable at the table. She looked at them, her eyes wide and luminous.
“I want to be part of your family,” Lydia said, looking at Derek.
Stiles opened his mouth, but Derek spoke up quicker.
“You are,” Derek said with a little bit of incredulity. “You don’t have to be blood to be family. You have a room in our house and you are welcomed on your own schedule. You don’t have to have our kid to be our family, just like you don’t have to have some sort of superhuman thing to be part of our pack.”
Lydia gave him a fond smile. “I am superhuman, even without the whole banshee thing.”
Stiles was grinning when Lydia looked at him. “What are you smiling at?”
“He’s going to say yes,” Stiles said.
Lydia blinked. “How do you know that?”
If possible Stiles’s smile grew. “Because he’s not saying no any more, he’s asking if you’re sure.”
Lydia squared her shoulders. “I’m sure Derek Hale. I want a baby and I want you or Stiles to be the fathers and I want you to raise it.”
“Okay,” Derek said quietly.
Both Lydia and Stiles lit up.
“We’re having a baby,” Stiles said a little too loud, everybody in the restaurant was now clearly trying to figure out what was going on at their table.
Derek raised an eyebrow at Stiles and then turned towards Lydia. “Do you have a favorite for bio father?”
Stiles leaned back in his chair, really not wanting to compete at this moment. “Eh, there are a lot of details to hash out, let’s just leave this one up to fate.”
Stiles sat in the waiting room his hands on his knees, fingers drumming. There was only one other person in the room. He played with his phone; occasionally he would look over at Stiles.
“Your first?” the man finally asked.
“We have two at home,” Stiles said, looking at the door to the birthing rooms.
“You’re really nervous for not being a newbie,” the man said with a smile, putting his phone down.
Stiles took a deep breath. “Let me give you a piece of advice, when your surrogate graciously offers to have your child don’t say ‘let’s try both of us and see which one takes’ because that will inevitably lead to two babies. Let me tell you how huge your surrogate will be especially if she is five three. When she gets put on bed rest at twenty-five weeks and you become her indentured servant because you played Russian roulette with her ovaries, you will do nothing but piss her off, which will lead to you getting excluded from her giving birth to your kids.”
The guy blinked. “I’ll remember that.”
“Is this your first?” Stiles asked. “Why are you out here?”
“My sister is having a baby,” the man answered. “I think me being in there would prevent me from ever giving my parents another grandchild.”
The double doors slid open and Derek appeared there wearing blue scrubs.
“Hurry up Stiles,” Derek said. “Baby’s crowning and Lydia has found some sort of Zen and wants you in there.”
Stiles stood up and rushed to the door.
The guy waved. “Good luck, thanks for the advice.”
Stiles gave him a rushed smile and hurried after Derek.
“She’s not cursing me any more?” Stiles asked.
“She’s quiet and breathing,” Derek said, duly impressed.
“I thought she would be screaming her head off,” Stiles said following Derek down the hallway.
Then he stopped. “How did I never think that baby banshees might be horrible at three in the morning.”
Derek pulled him towards Lydia’s room. “Little late for that now, no turning back.”
Lydia lay in the bed watching Derek and Stiles on either side of her with little wrapped bundles of babies.
“They’re so little,” Stiles said. “Dade wasn’t so little.”
“Twins are usually smaller,” Derek said, with utmost authority.
“They didn’t feel so small,” Lydia said.
Stiles leaned over and kissed her forehead. “You were amazing.”
Lydia smiled up at them. “What did you expect?”
“I expected screaming and swearing,” Stiles said. “You were so calm.”
Lydia reached up and touched the baby in Derek’s arms.
“They’re so bald,” she said sleepily. “We need to get them hats.”
Stiles sniffed the top of the babies in his arm’s head. “They’re fuzzy.”
“Baby Boy Beta,” Lydia said dreamily. “Little Girl Human, she’s going to have it tough with all her big wolfy protectors.”
Stiles held the girl to him and whispered to him conspiratorially. “You and me little girl. We’ll take them all.”
“I think that they look like Lydia,” Derek said, peering down at their son.
“Superior genetics,” Lydia replied.
“I don’t think that they look like anything but puffy baby,” Stiles commented.
Lydia tried to sit up. “I am taking them back.”
Stiles held the girl to his chest.
Derek smirked at him. “He just expected more eyebrows.”
“You’re going to scar our children,” Stiles replied covering his sleeping girl’s ears. “Isn’t enough that they don’t have hair?”
“Redheads are usually born bald,” Derek replied. “Their hair is fine and they don’t have much besides fuzz for the first few months.”
Stiles looked over at him. “How do you know this?”
“The internet,” Derek said.
“This is your fault,” Stiles said to Lydia.
“That he knows things?” Lydia asked, eyes closing. “Not sorry.”
“We should let her sleep,” Derek said.
“Wanna name them before we go?” Stiles asked. “We can call them Baby Beta Hale and Baby Human Stilinski for now.”
Lydia’s eyes snapped open. “Laurence and Talia, try not to mess up their lives by giving them horrible middle names.”
With that she closed her eyes again.
Stiles looked over at Derek, who seemed a little choked up.
Stiles stood up and went over to him. “She’s pretty awesome. Laurence and Talia, welcome home. Can we keep all three of them?”
Derek smiled at him. “Just like with everything else in our lives, I don’t think we even have a choice.”
“Hey,” Stiles whispered. “Pretty sure that the very long day of elaborate celebration of matrimony was by choice. I mean not the day itself, because that was all Hurricane Lydia, but the reason for the day was choice.”
Derek held the newly christened Laurence to him and grinned. “I liked it, so I put a ring on it.”
Stiles could see the heavy silver band on the hand that was cupping Laurence’s hand and he could feel Talia squirming on his own matching one.
“I’m a little overwhelmed here,” Stiles said. “Lydia just raised the bars for strength in women giving birth ever, we’ve just doubled the amount of children we have, and you are quoting Beyoncé. I’m pretty sure our worlds will never be the same after this moment.”
Derek shrugged. “Seems fitting.”
Laurence yawned a little and Stiles’s face turned to mush.
“It’s going to be cooing over them all the time, just like Dade again isn’t it?” Derek sighed. “Remember they’re only like this for a little bit, then it is screaming at all hours.”
Stiles tried to be composed. “Our little baby banshees, annoying they will be.”
Derek nudged him with his shoulder. “It’ll be okay for a little bit, might as well enjoy the good times.”
Stiles grinned at him. “They really are two of the four cutest things in the world, when can we take them home?”
“In a little bit,” Derek said, steering Stiles to a quiet room. “Their brothers will want to meet them, so maybe we give them the only peace that they’ll ever know in their lives.”
Stiles smiled. “Our family is awesome.”
Derek cocked his head, his eyes shining. “You’re welcome, Stiles.”