Skye was soft in a way May could never be. He thinks as they get undressed, facing away from each other. Skye would smile and reach for him, she would tease and kiss him as they undressed each other and her eyes would sparkle with mischief. May’s eyes on the other hand are dead as she climbs into bed as naked as he feels.
Melinda May is beautiful he won’t deny that, beautiful in that cold way only a statute can be. He would swear that if it wasn’t for her heart beating as he trails kisses down he chest she is in fact a statute herself. He supposes he should be feelings something right now, anything, but even the pleasure from their activities is a cold one.
May’s eyes are closed tight, too tight, she doesn’t want to be here and neither does he, so why are they? She mumbles something under he breath and he thinks it’s Coulson’s name but it doesn’t bother him. He’s thinking of Skye too so they are even. There are no caresses, no kisses, no sweet words as they finish. She doesn’t pull him in her arms like Skye would do and he doesn’t make a move to comfort her like she needs. May doesn’t need him, she needs Coulson and they established long ago that he’s not Coulson.
"People like us," she says as she reaches for the bottle of scotch. "Can’t be with people like them." He doesn’t need to ask who ‘them’ are, he knows. "We are damaged, lost within blurred lines they can’t understand. A relationship with us would destroy them." She passes the bottle to him and he takes a swing. She’s right, he hates to admit it but she is. "So do me a favour and spare her the pain. She doesn’t need to go through that." Grant looks at her for a moment, thinking her words over.
"What if I don’t want to hurt her?" He asks eventually turning to face her. "What if I want to make her happy?" It’s foolish he knows, he’s pretty sure he’ll give her more pain than love but he wants her. Grant wants to be selfish for once and make her his.
"Can you?" May’s voice is mocking and cold, always cold. Makes him wonder if this woman ever felt anything remotely close to happiness. If she did felt it, did she really lost it all in Bahrain? "Do you even know how to make her happy, Ward?" The words cut through him like a knife because he doesn’t. He wouldn’t be able to give that to Skye even if someone pointed how to him.
"I guess you are right." He sighs and turns his back to her, pulling the covers over his body. He doesn’t see it but he can feel her gaze piercing through him. May doesn’t say anything else as she lays on the far end of the bed, as far away from him as possible.
Maybe this was wrong, maybe he should have gone to Skye instead. Maybe, just maybe, she would be able to make him feel again. Because he might not know what happiness is but he’s pretty sure Skye knows enough about it for the both of them.