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how lame

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Sakura gets ferried to the hospital because Naruto and Sasuke are idiots. 

It was Sasuke's idea to augment her light manipulation clan jutsu with his Chidori, and Naruto's idea to see if maybe a Rasenshuriken would also be a good idea to put on top of that. Sakura didn't say no, because Kakashi-sensei was big on teamwork and collaboration. The Haruno, Uzumaki, and Uchiha had been working together under a Hatake sensei for generations. Of course innovative jutsu creation was something their sensei would get behind. 

But there was a reason that jutsu creation had to go through an extremely long, extremely boring vetting process with the Hokage and with a jounin advisor. They already had the jounin advisor part, but Naruto and Sasuke were usually impatient, and Sakura didn't really care enough to go through the proper channels. 

So of course the Chidori when combined with Hikari: Heavenly Light is so bright it's blinding, and of course augmenting the monster of a jutsu to be thrown with fūton like a Rasenshuriken is a recipe for disaster. And property damage. In that order.

With clan jutsu that manipulate light, Sakura's eyes have been through a lot ever since she was a kid. She can remember a time when she had tried to help make one of Sasuke's katon's more dangerous with her Blinding Miracle when she was eleven. It hadn't gone over well with anyone. Though, she was asked to help with the fireworks at the summer festival that year. The Haruno were the proud makers of Konoha's fireworks; being asked to help at the festival was kind of like joining the family business. 

That being said, Sakura is now pretty sure she might be legally blind. 

The Godaime is unavailable because she cannot be bothered with the ridiculousness that is a Naru-Sasu-Saku. Sakura more than understands; if she had to deal with her team, she'd probably have to drink, too. 

She can't see, so she can't really tell how the boys are faring. Sasuke is grumbling quietly about how irritating his cousin Shisui is going to be when he finds out about this. Naruto is very much concerned with how mad his mom's gonna be. Kakashi-sensei is not being remotely helpful. 

"Lame," Sakura groans. She doesn't like waiting in the hospital, and she doesn't like the idea of how long it'll be before her own parents chew her out. Haruno Kizashi is as laid back as she is, but Mebuki - Mebuki is a terror.

Stifling the shiver that runs down her spine, Sakura folds her fingers together on her stomach, and waits to be given her vision back. 

Then the door opens, and her sightless eyes immediately move toward the sound. 

"Ah, Shikamaru-kun," Kakashi-sensei greets. "How good to see you. You're looking well."

"This is the fourth time this month that your students have made a mess of themselves, Hatake-san," the Nara medic says. 

Sakura groans again. 

Nara Shikamaru is literally the best healer the village has seen since Senju Tsunade. He was a born and bred Nara, who understood the human body and holistic medicine before he could hold up his own neck. He's a genius in his own right. The Nara were all medics in some way or another, but Shikamaru was on a completely different level. He had only gotten better since the Godaime took him under her wing. 

"Oh, Shikamaru-kun," Kakashi-sensei says, "what can I say? The vibrance of my students is truly astounding."

"It's truly irritating is what it is," the Nara snaps. "Your Haruno is one blowout away from being permanently blind in her left eye."

"Right eye," Sakura corrects from the bed. 

It's the wrong thing to do. She can physically feel the moment when Shikamaru sets his gaze on her. Sakura sighs and resigns herself to being chewed out. 

Nara Shikamaru is the Godaime's apprentice. He's also a world class nag. 

"You," Shikamaru says as he stalks over to her. "You are the worst patient this hospital has seen since your sensei."

She can hear Kakashi gasp, and Naruto snickers. 

"You truly are my student," Kakashi says. 

Sakura turns her face to where she thinks Kakashi-sensei is and blows him a kiss. 

"I'm so proud to be carrying on your legacy, Kaka-sensei," she says. 

There's a thwap of a clipboard over her head and Sakura yelps in response. She puts her bands on the back of her head to nurse the wound, pouting as she does. 

"It's nothing to be proud of, Haruno," Shikamaru says. "Your eyes are strained enough to be an Uchiha or a Hyūga. If you continue at this rate, you might actually go blind by your thirties."

Sakura shrugs. 

"I was barely planning on living that long," she grumbles, still nursing her new head wound. "But if I'm blind by thirty I can retire, maybe get married, have a couple of kids…"

The second thwap she doesn't see coming, because, well, you know. 

"You are the bane of my existence," Shikamaru says. 

But he puts the clipboard down, removes Sakura's bandages, and gets to work. 

He's right, and she knows it. She needs to slow down on using her family's techniques so recklessly. But she hadn't really been all that reckless. Naruto and Sasuke had been. The Hikari: Chidori Shuriken was a glorified lightning based flash bomb of doom. And it hadn't been her idea. Sure, she had known it would work and that it would be awesome but she had a measure of deniability. 

Still. If she had to get off active duty by the time she was thirty, then her parents would really start harassing her about becoming the Haruno clan head and finding some nice man with which to pop out a couple of terrors. Sakura wasn't opposed to marriage and kids, but she was opposed to the idea of sitting through the long and boring Elders Council meetings as a clan heir. She didn't know how Sasuke managed it; they were mind numbingly boring. 

The cool feel of Shikamaru's chakra glazes over her eyes and Sakura feels herself relax despite her best efforts. She had been through a lot of eye healings as a kid, from being fitted for protective contact lenses to having her pupils regularly checked to make sure they could still filter light and darkness. Having medical chakra on her face is a familiar, almost comforting feeling. She can remember dozens of time when this exact thing would happen; she, Naruto, and Sasuke would get in a mess of trouble, and they'd all end up in the hospital for one thing or another.

She sighs as the healing finishes. 

"Open your eyes, Haruno."

She does, tentatively, and the first thing she sees is Shikamaru's dark brown eyes bearing into hers. He's very close, and he smells like sandalwood and antiseptic. Which shouldn't be a good combination but weirdly is. He looks down at his clipboard to take a note, and Sakura can't help the way her eye immediately goes to track a particularly thick vein on his throat.

Oh. Oh.  

Shikamaru leads her through a standard eye exam that every idiot Haruno goes through once they nearly destroy their retinas with their clan jutsu. She names characters and letters and shapes from a distance, feeling strangely hot under the collar. 

"I'm hesitant to flash anything in your eyes, so I'll call it a clean bill of health," he says.

He rummages in his pocket for something and reveals a pair of thick lensed black sunglasses. 

"No clan techniques for the next three weeks, and you wear these every day when you go outside. Understand?" 

Sakura rolls her eyes. They're unbearably ugly, but she's been getting pairs like this since the first time she damn near blinded herself as a genin. 

"How lame," she grumbles. But as she takes the glasses, her fingers brush for a couple of long seconds against Shikamaru's. 

She looks up at him, and she must be seeing things, because there's the faintest dusting of red on his cheeks. She puts on the glasses to hide whatever stupid expression she must be making. 

"Can I go now?" 

Shikamaru sighs like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Yes," he says. "I don't want to see you or anyone else from Team Seven for at least a month, you hear me?"

"No promises," Sakura says with a little grin. 

The third smack is a surprise because it comes from Kakashi-sensei's bright orange book of smut. 

"Of course, Shikamaru-kun," her teacher says. "Thank you for taking such good care of our Sakura-chan."

Shikamaru honest to god blushes at that, and Sakura can't stand the feeling of mortification that begins to overtake her. 

"Laaaaaaame," she groans as she almost leaps out of the hospital room, her teammates following closely behind. 

She valiantly ignores the knowing glances Kakashi-sensei gives her as he takes them to Ichiraku to celebrate creating a new combination jutsu. As she eats her ramen, she wonders about how medics retire from active duty, and whether or not Shikamaru would look good in red with the white Haruno pupil on his back.