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There were a lot of things Tony was proud of achieving in his many years of life that according to common sense and Rhodey he really shouldn't be.


He was unapologetic and either ran with it or accepted his stupidity.


It ranged from convincing their physics professor to keep silent about their unsanctioned party at the college dorms and consequently drinking him under the table.


That time he convinced the newbies at R&D that his arc reactor was loosing battery and he needed a charger ASAP.

Subsequently watching them run around for their chargers and any others they could find with increasing desperation when they failed to work (someone even bought a Hammer one, he simultaneously almost had a heart attack and gave them a raise. Such sacrifices deserve a reward Pepper ).

It had now become a running gag around SI. It wasn't unusual to arrive at his lab to find at least three chargers per day along with an envelope containing some sort of question ranging from " please explain the process of creating Starkium" to " rate this meme on a 0/10 scale lmao" .


And winning a Hello Kitty shirt by stuffing the most Twinkies in his mouth at a carnival fair when they were still in college.





So in the big scheme of things confusing some unfortunate soul for one of his never ending stalkers could be permitted, considering said unfortunate soul must weigh at least 200 pounds and had been following him through the darkly lit paths of central park for at least 30 minutes before Tony decided enough was enough and turned to deck him when he least expected it.


Really, he didn't know whether he should be:


  1. a) horrified by the fact that he punched what he's pretty sure is the human version of a labrador damn those puppy eyes and how are eyes that blue even real. He needs to know. FOR SCIENCE.
  2. b) Impressed that he actually managed to land a punch hard enough on Mr. Bulging-Pecs' face for a bruise to start appearing.

Or c) really grateful that the guy had not decided to retaliate.


He would normally have no problem deciding how he felt but something about Blue Eyes made it impossible not to feel guilty, and he could already feel the nervous babble that appeared whenever he found himself in awkward situations come to the surface.


" Look , ah, I'm like really sorry my friend, I just, you're so big and it's so dark here, and like, have you seen yourself? yikes, those muscles are like big , you're big, like proportionate big I mean, well -I don't really know if you're proportionate because I have not seen all of you -not that I want to mind you, I'm not a pervert, but like I wouldn't be opposed, though I have just punched you, so like it's cool if you don't want that, but in my defense I thought you were a stalker and really dude you had been following me for like, a while , and so what I'm saying is I'm really really sorry and you're really really hot and like, I totally hit you first but I'd really appreciate it if you didn't, 'kay? 'kay, thanks!". 




Tony could feel his face flushing, and he was only grateful that it was too dark outside for Blue Eyes to notice.


Yet it was too silent and he was beginning to squirm in his place. Blue Eyes still hadn't said a word and Tony couldn't really read his face in the darkness but he was definitely looking straight and him, and Tony could feel his nerves returning, he was just about to open his mouth to blurt out something stupid like,

' if I let you punch me and we call it even, could I take you out for a burger and milkshakes sometime?',

he was thankfully saved from humiliating himself by the timely voice of his victim, though the noise (it was not a squeak ) that came out of his mouth after he finally registered what Blue Eyes had said still managed to make him flush even deeper, he sounded a little hoarse and parched but his words were unmistakably clear.



"'M gonna marry you".