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Overheard Declarations

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It’d been a long ass day and Tweek was absolutely exhausted as he turned the key and quietly let himself into the apartment he shared with his boyfriend, Craig… and their current couch-surfer.

He was about to call out a greeting to let the others know he’s home when he heard his name and froze in the entryway. Tweek didn’t even stop to wonder to himself if listening to their conversation was wrong or not. He’d had a bad feeling ever since Craig came home one evening about three weeks ago with Kenny fucking McCormick of all people in tow. He trusted Craig, he wasn’t so sure if he trusted Kenny’s sob story of having a dorm mate that brought his girlfriend over to fuck and kicked Kenny out all the time or not though. Kenny might think he was stealthy or some shit, but Tweek knew he wanted Craig.

“... is right. You can’t sleep on our couch forever, dude. You’ve got to have it out with your roommate or something.”

Tweek heard a can pop open with a hiss and frowned. Kenny better not be trying to get Craig drunk again. That was his standard answer to Craig trying to prod him to sort his shit out and leave their apartment.

“C’mon, Craig, I’m starting to think you don’t love me anymore, man. You really gonna kick me out?”

Tweek threw out a quick prayer that his boyfriend was going to do just that.

“Dude, you know I wouldn’t if you really needed a place to stay, but it’s not like you’re actually homeless! We’ve only got two on our lease, I can’t risk me and Tweek getting evicted just because you like my couch better than your dorm.”

Damnit, so close! Craig was way too damn loyal to old friends for his own good. He didn’t see how Kenny was manipulating the situation so he could stay close to the dark haired male and subtlety get in the middle of their relationship.

Had Kenny tried this shit even two years ago, Tweek’s paranoia and anxiety would have worked against him and caused him to fight with Craig constantly until one or the other of them couldn’t stand it anymore. Kenny tried to take advantage of more than one of their breaks during high school, but Craig was totally oblivious to people flirting with him. He was too direct and blunt to see when people were hinting at things to him, and Tweek had learned to be the same way with Craig to avoid misunderstandings between them.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Kenny might’ve finally figured that out for himself…

“Maybe I just want to be with you.”

Tweek’s eyes scrunched up and he started silently counting to 10 in his head so he wouldn’t go barging in there to beat Kenny’s skanky ass halfway back to South Park.

Craig’s voice was almost hesitant when he answered this time, as if he was trying to give Kenny an out for what he’d just said.

“Dude, we’ve been friends for years. Of course we enjoy each others’ company…”

“It’s more than that. You know it’s more than that. I’ve been waiting for years for you to be done with Twitchy…”

Craig’s voice was definitely edging towards anger now and it warmed Tweek to hear his boyfriend defending him… defending them.

“Don’t call him that! And for God’s sake, McCormick… don’t wait for me! I’m never going to be done with Tweek, I love him!”

Tweek smiled triumphantly, but he knew Kenny wouldn’t give up so easily now that Craig knew. This was his last shot at taking Craig from Tweek now that his intentions were out in the open, and both blond boys knew it.

“C’mon Craig, seriously? You two have nothing in common; you’re still with him because it’s safe and comfortable, not because you love him!”

Craig’s voice took on a dark tone, and if it had been directed at Tweek he’d freak out. Craig could be really fucking scary when he wanted to be, but apparently Kenny wasn’t smart enough to realize he’d pushed too hard. Or he just didn’t care…

”You don’t know shit about us, McCormick!” Craig’s voice hinted at barely concealed rage, “All anybody in South Park ever saw was their prized young gay couple and that stupid fucking fetishized Yaoi art; nobody ever took the time to see us for who were were and how we interacted together. We may not have all of the same favorite things, but we agree on the important shit and we compromise on the rest, same as any other normal fucking couple does!”

Kenny’s lost his ability to hide the frustration in his voice by this point and Tweek can almost see the other blond in his mind’s eye, face red, eyes scrunched almost shut, and a sneer twisting his lips as he faces off with the taller male.

“Oh and it’s SUCH a normal couple thing for one partner to be demanding a break all the time? How many times did he walk out on you, Craig? Huh? How many times did he get pissed off at you over something fucking stupid that he blew all out of proportion and leave you standing there with a broken fucking heart? How many time did he leave you to wallow in your misery while he went off and flirted with somebody else? How many fucking times did you come and cry on my shoulder because of him?” Kenny lowers his volume, but his words are still cutting, “Didn’t want your precious buddies Token and Clyde to get mad at poor little Tweek, so go cry to Kenny! And he may not have fucked around on you, Craig, but we both know he got seriously close to crossing the line! It fucking killed me to see you in pain over somebody who didn’t give a fuck about you!”

Tweek can feel tears of anger gathering in his eyes. Yes, he made a lot of stupid mistakes and decisions when he was a kid, but he was a fucking kid! He was also unknowingly addicted to the fucking Meth his fucking idiot parents put in their shitty fucking coffee! Meth that Kenny supplied to them, thanks to his drugged-out parents! That definitely hadn’t helped his rationality or his decision making abilities.

Once he’d found out what his parents were doing he’d gotten himself clean through rehab and sorted out his mental shit through proper therapy and medications. His first promise to Craig after all of that mess during their Junior year was to talk through issues instead of jumping to conclusions or letting it spiral out of control in his mind until he couldn’t handle it anymore. He’d kept that promise since the summer before their Senior year of high school started and they were almost done with their first year of college with no serious breakdowns on his part! Tweek hated having the past thrown in his face like that, because he’d worked so hard to overcome it!

“The past is over and done with, and we’ve worked through all of it. You know why he did a lot of the shit he did, so don’t you dare try to use that to get your way with me! I’m gonna need you to get your shit together and get the fuck out of my house, McCormick. Tweek’s gonna be home soon, and it’s probably for the best if you leave before he gets here.”

Tweek silently did a little happy dance, knowing that once Craig threw down an ultimatum like that, he considered the situation over. There would be no apology accepting or backtracking now.

“No, I’m not giving up that easy! I’ve loved you for too fucking long to just walk out and let that little spaz win now!”

He can hear Craig huff, but his voice has gone back to it’s normal deadpan flatness.

“You can’t win when there was no competition to start with! I don’t want to hurt you, but I’ve never considered you more than a friend, Kenny. I love Tweek; I’ve loved him since before I really knew what being in love with somebody even meant and that’s not gonna change just because you have feelings for me. You need to accept that and leave.”

The silence stretches for a couple of minutes before a sniffle breaks it. Tweek almost feels bad for Kenny in that moment, because Lord knows Craig Tucker is not the kind of guy you can fall in love with and walk away from unscathed.

Just as Tweek is about to reveal his presence to the other guys, a loud thud sounds and the wall shakes.

“Kenny, what the f.. mnnnght!”

Without stopping to think, Tweek dashes around the corner; he stops short when he sees Kenny pressing Craig against the wall and kissing him. He throws down his bag and grabs the other blond by the hair, yanking him violently off of Craig and throwing him down to the floor, glaring at him with pure hatred.

Kenny makes his way back to his feet, his mind going a thousand miles a second. He knows his last chance is to play on Tweek’s paranoia, and he’ll have to move fast before Craig gets over his shock and starts talking.

“Sorry you had to see that, Tweek.” Kenny’s voice is saccharine, and he has a poorly executed look of fake sorrow on his face, “But it’s probably about time you knew anyways…”

Craig’s voice cuts in, angry and scared at the same time, “Babe, no! There’s nothing going on, he kissed me out of nowhere, I swear!”

Tweek smiles at Craig for a moment before he rounds on Kenny, “You think I’m fucking stupid, McCormick? You think I don’t know you’ve been trying to get between us since 6th grade?” Kenny’s eyes widen and Tweek pounces on the only admission he’s likely to get, “Oh yeah, I know you personally orchestrated at least three of the big fights we got into hoping we’d break up for good! I may have anxiety and ADHD, you fucking asshole, but that doesn’t make me an idiot!”

Kenny glares back at him, “Fuck you, Freak! I wasn’t the one going on dates and kissing other guys while still technically having a boyfriend!”

Tweek looks puzzled for a second before clarity spreads across his face, “Are you talking about that Goth kid Pete that you set me up with? He got a little too insistent for my tastes, so I kicked him in the balls and left him in the alley by the shop!”

Craig’s voice is hoarse when he cuts in, “You didn’t want to make out with that Goth kid?”

Tweek shakes his head, “Of course not! I didn’t even want to go out with him, but this fucker told me you were going out with Kyle. After that whole clusterfuck is when I figured out he was trying to split us up, but you said it was over and done and you didn’t want to talk about it.”

Craig’s eyes close and his fists clench tightly before he growls out, “McCormick, you have five minutes to be out of here before I break your goddamned face!”

Tweek scoffs, “Fuck that!”, and lands a punch that knocks Kenny off his feet. “Now you have your five minutes before Craig breaks your face. If I see you around him again, I’ll break it myself.”

Tweek walks over to Craig and loops a hand around his neck to tug the taller man down into a kiss that’s just this side of inappropriate outside of their bedroom. Normally he isn’t much for more than a quick smooch if other people are around, but fuck Kenny McCormick’s delicate little feelings. If he wants to make out with his boyfriend in his own home, he damn well will! Especially after all the heartache that dick has put them through over the years.

When he finally breaks the kiss, Craig grunts in displeasure and tries to chase his lips for more, but Tweek cups a hand on his face and smiles, mouthing later and winking at his love.

Not sparing a look at Kenny, Tweek grabs his bag from the floor and walks over to set it down properly on his desk, pulling out his laptop to make sure the computer wasn’t damaged when he dropped it. Finding everything to his satisfaction, he turns back to face Craig and says in a very offhand tone, “I think we need to change the locks tomorrow. I don’t trust this asshole not to have made a copy of the key, and I don’t want him in here again.”

Kenny finally speaks up, “I have a load of laundry in right now…”

“You’re under the impression that I give a fuck?” Tweek’s voice is hostile when addressing the other blond, “We’ll dry it, box it up, and drop it at your dorm tomorrow. You’re not waiting around here for another hour, get the fuck out.”

Without another word, Tweek heads into the kitchen, determined to have a nice dinner with Craig after that fucker finally leaves. He’s become much more proficient in the kitchen since he got out of rehab and got on medications that properly control his anxiety, and cooking helps him to calm down now. Sorting through the fridge and cabinets, he starts debating what he can cook that won’t take a long time and finally decides on spaghetti.

He’s been listening for the door to close this whole time and hasn’t heard it. He starts a pot of water to boil before heading back into the living room to see what the hold up is.

Craig is nowhere to be seen, and Kenny is sitting in the middle of the floor, crying softly. “I have no sympathy for you, McCormick. Instead of just manning up and talking to him years ago, you tried to use my issues and insecurities to break us up. When that didn’t work you tried to physically get between us. You need to leave, or I’m calling the police to remove you.”

He walks across the room to tap softly on the bedroom door, “Craig, can you help me with dinner?”

The front door closes and Tweek turns to see Kenny is finally gone. He walks over to lock the door and heads back into the kitchen to get back to dinner. After washing his hands he puts together a quick sauce and gets it on to simmer. He starts the oven to pre-heat for garlic bread and is rummaging through the vegetables looking for salad fixings when a large hand touches his shoulder, momentarily startling him.

He turns to smile up at Craig and sets his armload of veggies on the counter, “You wanna chop these up for me?”

“I kinda want to talk to you first, you can just let the sauce simmer awhile, right?” Craig isn’t looking at him and Tweek frowns as he takes his seat at the table.

Craig reaches for Tweek’s hand across the able and sighs, “I owe you an apology; well more than one but I’ll start with this one, I’m sorry I didn’t make him leave when you asked me to.”

“You didn’t know this was gonna happen…”

Craig cuts him off, “No, I didn’t. But I should have respected the fact you didn’t want him here, friend or not.”

“He’s not your friend, Craig.” Tweek huffs a little, “He hasn’t been for years now. He’s just been looking for a way to get between us.”

Craig nods, “That leads to my next apology. I should have listened to you after that last big fight we had. I know you wanted to talk about it, but I was so hurt over seeing you with that Goth kid… I just wanted to forget it ever happened.”

“We’ve gotten better about talking since then.” Tweek squeezes Craig’s hand and smiles at him when he finally looks up. “After I got done with rehab, I made you a promise and I meant it. We haven’t had a serious fight since then, because we’ve both gotten better at talking things through.”

Tweek stands up to check the sauce, put the pasta in the boiling water, and stick the bread in the oven. He’s just straightening up when arms sneak around his waist and a stubble-covered jaw rubs against his throat. He smiles to himself and leans back into Craig’s arms, enjoying the moment.

Craig’s voice is soft against his ear, “When you came storming in, I thought you were gonna be pissed at me for that kiss. I was so scared I’d lose you, babe.”

“Well, I have a small confession to make.” Tweek doesn’t think Craig will be mad given the circumstances, but he does feel bad for eavesdropping now that the situation is resolved, “I was standing there for a while. I came in when you were telling him that I wanted him to leave and he needed to work out his shit with his roommate.”

“I’m glad you knew I didn’t want to kiss him. I remember how I felt when I saw you with that other guy, and I never want you to feel that way because of me.”

Tweek smiles at him, “I’m glad you finally know I didn’t want to kiss that other guy; I hated that I caused you so much pain.” He turns his head so he can see Craig and arches an eyebrow, “Although, I was a little pissed off that you never let me explain it to you.”

Craig’s forehead drops against his should and his voice is a little muffled, “I’m never gonna be able to apologize enough for that…”

Tweek turns in Craig’s arms and uses a hand on the taller male’s jaw to make Craig meet his eyes, “It’s forgotten. I’m serious, Craig; we are not letting Kenny McCormick get any further between us than he already managed, OK?”

Craig rests his forehead against Tweek’s and nods, happy that the situation is resolved to his boyfriend’s satisfaction. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Tweek smiles and pushes himself out of Craig’s arms, “Now go chop those stupid veggies so we can eat sometime tonight.”