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Facing Truth

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For a long time, Yamaguchi knew that there was something more than just friendship that he felt for Tsukishima. However, the boy chose to ignore it, in fear that truly acknowledging it would ruin his friendship with his best friend. Even though he was ignoring it, he still got annoyed when girls came to him to talk about Tsukishima. At first, he let it go, but when Valentine's Day came around, he found he could no longer keep calm. Before lunch, 10 girls approached him to give him their chocolates or confessions for him to give to his best friend. Every single one he would throw away in the trash once the girls left. He knew he would probably feel really bad about that later, but at the moment he really didn't care. So to escape the girls, he decided to eat outside by himself. That's what led him to be standing at the vending machine trying to decide what to choose.

“Yamaguchi, what are you doing?” The sudden voice behind him startled him, nearly making him yelp out in panic. He turned to see Tsukishima standing there, looking as bored as ever.

“What do you mean, Tsukki?” He responded as he turned back around to choose what he decided to get.

“A few girls came to me asking about the gifts they gave you to give me, but you didn't give me anything from them.”

“Oh...” Yamaguchi wasn't sure if he was in trouble or not, so he hesitantly turned back to face his friend. “I threw them out.”

“Not that I care, but why?” Tsukishima really didn't seem to care, but he did clearly want an answer.

“Well, if they really wanted to give something to you then they should have given it to you.” Yamaguchi was aware he sounded slightly bitter and he knew that what he said to Tsukishima wasn't the whole truth, not that Tsukishima needed to know.

“So, you were jealous that I was getting something and you weren't?” Tsukishima asked his friend, though he really didn't expect an answer seeing as he was fairly sure that was the real reason behind Yamaguchi's actions.

“Sure Tsukki. I'll see you later.” Yamaguchi muttered before walking away. Sure, a part of him was jealous, but he was more annoyed over girls trying to take Tsukishima from him. That single thought made Yamaguchi freeze. The look of shock at his own thought showed on his face, worrying the orange haired boy who had just approached him.

“Yamaguchi, are you okay?” Hinata inquired, looking up at him with worry in his eyes.

“Uh, yeah.” He quietly mumbled. It was clear that he just lied, and even Hinata could tell that something was wrong. However, Yamaguchi had no intention of sticking around to be questioned more. “Sorry, I'm fine, excuse me.” With that the freckled boy ran off, leaving a very confused Hinata behind.

“What was that about?” Kageyama questioned as he walked over to Hinata.

“I don't know,” Hinata responded, concerned for his friend. He wasn't very smart, but even he could see that something was bothering Yamaguchi.

“Do you know anything?” Came Kageyama's rude comment sending the two into an argument. As they argued, Yamaguchi had run all the into the school and into the boys' bathroom. He was horrified that he called Tsukishima his in his mind, and meaning it in a romantic sense.

'That's so pathetic. Why would I say that? He's my best friend not anything like a boyfriend. What am I doing?' Yamaguchi asked himself in his mind. He was starting to lose control of his feelings for the tall blonde. 'I have to avoid him for a little while. Just so I can get myself under control.' He declared to himself. Even though he thought it was the right thing to do, he knew it would be difficult. He just wondered if Tsukishima would even notice him being different. 'Will he even care?' The freckled boy sadly pondered to himself. He knew his best friend well and therefore knew he cared about some things. However, he wasn't sure if he would actually care whether or not Yamaguchi stopped talking to him all of the time. All the feelings he was having were beginning to make Yamaguchi doubt everything he once thought. It's a terrible and sad feeling when you aren't sure about anything anymore.

The bell going off broke Yamaguchi from his thoughts. He hurried back to class and as he did, he realized he never got his drink from the vending machine or even eat his lunch that he must have forgotten outside somewhere. He sat down in his seat and sighed to himself. He knew he was going to be quite hungry later on that day.

“You left this outside.” The voice of Tsukishima made him look up from where he was staring at his desk. His friend has his lunchbox and the drink he had chosen. “Hinata found your lunchbox outside and brought it to me to give to you.”

“Thanks...” Yamaguchi mumbled as he took the two things from his friend. He was embarrassed but glad to have them back since now he might be able to eat something later on. The rest of the class Yamaguchi tried to be normal but he felt weird the whole time. He didn't look over at Tsukishima like he normally would and once class ended, he didn't go over to his best friend like he always did. He went to volleyball club alone and tried to avoid Tsukishima there too. He did unless he was told specifically to practice with him. A few of his teammates questioned the sudden change but Yamaguchi gave them no answer.

That was how the entire week went. Every day he did the same thing to avoid Tsukishima and everyday people questioned why Yamaguchi wasn't attached to Tsukishima's side like always. He would walk to and from school by himself, he would eat lunch by himself and he would practice mostly by himself. Even the weekends he kept to himself and didn't try to call or text his friend, which worried his family slightly. During his time alone, he'd begun to feel even worse as each day passed. Tsukishima approached him a few times but didn't get a chance to say anything as Yamaguchi would hurry off. Finally, it got to be too much for his teammates to take, and they decided to send Hinata and Kageyama to talk to him about what was wrong. The two of them caught him on his walk home, forcing him to stay and talk with them.

“So why are you and Tsukishima not talking?” Hinata questioned, despite Yamaguchi clearly not wanting to talk.

“You have avoided him for the past week. We've seen you run away from him. The team is worried.” Kageyama declared before Yamaguchi could respond to the orange haired boy.

“Did Tsukishima do something to you? Was be being a jerk again like he usually is?”

“No! Tsukki did nothing wrong. I'm the problem!” Yamaguchi blurted out before he could stop himself. “I'm in love with Tsukki and I have to avoid him because he'll hate me if he finds out!” It was the first time he'd ever truly admitted he was in love with his best friend and it horrified him that he just shouted it out loud.

“Um...” The orange haired and black haired boys looked at each other in shock. They were not expecting that announcement.

“I'm sure Tsukishima won't hate you for that. He doesn't really hate or like anything does he?” Hinata questioned, looking over at Kageyama for him to say something too.

“Wait, you aren't bothered by that?” Yamaguchi hesitantly asked his two friends.

“Why would we be? Just because you are into a guy doesn't mean anything bad.” Kageyama told the worried boy. “Even Tsukishima wouldn't find anything wrong with that. As much as I dislike the guy, I don't think he's that much of an asshole to hate you for it.”

“He'll reject me and I don't think I could handle that. I would rather not have him know, so I don't have to be rejected than know and have my friendship with him ruined.” Yamaguchi exclaimed, starting to get upset over thinking about the possibilities. “I have to get going.” With that Yamaguchi hurried away from the two.

“Still Yamaguchi, you can't run away from him forever, you're going to have to tell him sooner or later!” Hinata yelled to the retreating boy. He still wasn't ready to tell Tsukishima about how he felt. However, unbeknownst to them, a girl had been listening to their conversation; a Tsukishima fangirl. She had heard the whole thing and decided to take matters into her own hands.

The next day at school started surprisingly for the freckled boy. When he got there, he noticed people staring at him and making comments to their friends. When he got to his locker, he realized why. On his locker was a note, similar to the other notes he noticed on others' lockers as he passed. The note told of the conversation he had with Hinata and Kageyama; about how he was in love with Tsukishima and wanted it to be a secret. His heart and stomach dropped and he felt like he was going to be sick. From what he could tell, everyone had gotten the note and they all knew about it now. He began to panic and ran out of the school and decided to hide in the gym they practiced volleyball in, hoping the door would be unlocked for some reason. On his way many people who knew who he was called out to him. They would say terrible things to him or they would just laugh at him. It made him feel even worse. Thankfully he got to the gym without anyone following him and the door was unlocked, so he collapsed against the wall furthest from the door he came in.

'Everyone is going to treat me differently now. They will all hate me and find me disgusting. I don't know if I can handle that. And Tsukki, he'll be disgusted with me won't he?' Yamaguchi whimpered to himself. He didn't think he could ever feel so horrible. He was about to continue his descent into despair when the door to the gym he'd come through opened up. The bright light hid who the person was until they walked in further and allowed the door to close behind them. Yamaguchi wiped at his eyes in order to clear away any possible tears as he looked up to see who the person was. When he was able to figure it out, his heart dropped more than it already had.

It was Tsukishima standing there looking at him. He looked as emotionless as usual, or so Yamaguchi thought. He was honestly concerned for his friend. He had been told the news before he actually read it himself, and when he did he was just irritated with the person who did it. He wasn't stupid and was aware that Yamaguchi didn't feel only friendly things towards him. It didn't bother him since he wasn't that much of an asshole. He knew that it was going to bother Yamaguchi though. The boy was much more fragile then he was and having the whole school find out about your gay interest definitely caused Tsukishima to be a little concerned for his friend.

“Our teacher is wondering where you are.” Tsukishima simply noted as he stared at Yamaguchi.

“What?” Yamaguchi croaked out, his voice messed up from all the feelings he had at that moment.

“You ran away, so I was sent to get you.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“There's nothing else to say.” Yamaguchi wasn't sure if his friend really didn't know or if he didn't care. Either way, it made Yamaguchi feel worse. He at least wanted his friend to say something instead of ignoring his feelings. It was weird, this whole time he didn't want to know what Tsukishima would think of him, but now that's all that was in his mind. “Let's go. Stop acting pathetic and go to class.”

“Pathetic? The whole school knows I'm in love with you! Everyone is going to hate me now or even worse I'll be treated like a complete freak! You don't understand anything! You don't even care!” Yamaguchi yelled as he stood up. He was clearly close to crying. “You didn't care this week when I was avoiding you either. Why be friends with me when you don't even care that I exist?! Just reject me and leave me alone!” He knew he was being melodramatic but he couldn't stop it.

“Shut up Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima responded, sounding a bit different. “Even though I don't show it, you are my friend. I tried a few times to confront you about avoiding me, but you ran away every time.”

“Why are you still talking to me, aren't you disgusted with me?”

“Just because you have feelings for me doesn't mean I'll hate you now. I don't feel the same way, but do you really think I care if someone is gay or not?”

“I...No, I don't.” Hearing the rejection from Tsukishima hurt a little bit, but he at least was able to remain friends with him.

“Then let's go back to class.” Tsukishima turned around to leave and opened the door, before pausing to wait for Yamaguchi. “Are you coming?”

“Yes Tsukki,” Yamaguchi responded before running after his friend. The school day was tough that day for him, but thankfully his teammates/friends helped him through it. He wasn't sure what was going to happen to him now, but he was sure that he'd be able to face it, hopefully.