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Carmen

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[DARLING, DARLING, DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM LYING TO HERSELF.]

[SHE LAUGHS LIKE GOD, HER MIND'S LIKE A DIAMOND.]

—Men in tuxedo, women wearing their best of all smiles, inaudible chuckles far from sincerity... The ballroom sure looked gaudy, but to her, it just smelled like blood.

Yorknew City was one of a kind, it was nothing like home. Not like she had a home, anyway, but no sane person would close their eyes to the cold atmosphere that haunted every corner of this oddly amusing metropolis. She had more than enough reasons to hate it there, in fact, she did hate Yorknew City. She hated the skyscrapers, along with business people, dirty money and the mafia —none of them were fun and the only fun part was killing.

She felt suffocated, thinking she had to get this feeling off her chest or they'd never be able to finish the job by midnight. For a brief moment, it seemed like a better option.

It was indeed a better option. 

She never wanted to be there, in such a position. She never wanted to be in Yorknew City, never again. 

She didn't want to kill again.

As a slight pain shot up her head, she massaged her temples slowly and took a deep breath. A better option, she thought and shook her head, there's no such thing as an option. She let the breath out and decided, she had to enter the room.

Red satin brushing against her skin every time she takes another step forward, she was glowing. All eyes were on her as she smiled, maybe not the most sincere one but it suited her face. Her light was, as always, blinding. She was charming and everyone knew that. 

She, somehow, managed to make them all believe that this reflection was her real self. Strong, famous, breathtaking —she was like a queen, always having fun. She believed in that herself, not minding lying to herself every single time. 

Her moves gave butterflies to young men, they all liked her. She didn't mind, she actually loved the spotlight. However, that night was an exception and she was fully aware of that.

Kindly smiling to a businessman, who approached her while she was thinking, she started a conversation with the man. Professional, that was how she always kept it. 

Since the ball had started a while ago, people were already dancing in the middle of the room. Her presence changed the whole atmosphere, of course, but everything was so artificial that no one really showed their emotions. When another man asked her to dance, she gave him a shy look and accepted.

Pathetic. No matter how much she enjoyed fooling them, it was still boring at some point. She was impressed, though, since the man's moves weren't out of tune. He was attractive, she had to admit, his dark hair and fair skin were perfectly matching with his suit. Although he was just one or two inches longer than her, she could feel him dominating both of their surroundings. 

She couldn't understand why she was suddenly interested in the man, but she had a feeling that this man could be her escape —or her death.

"Is every man, who's lucky enough to dance with you, also lucky enough to see the look you have in your eyes right now, or am i an exception?" he asked.

She could feel the heat spreading over her face, she obviously didn't expect to hear something as cheesy as this. Once her goddess-like laugh was heard, all eyes were on her and the lucky man.

"I may answer that, if you explain what kind of a look it is, monsieur."

She felt his grip tightening on her waist, but something was wrong. It wasn't his hands that suddenly created this heaviness around her, his hands were still lightly touching her.

She knew what it was, and she was scared.

The man, thankfully, replied, bringing her back to reality. "I'd rather keep that to myself, mademoiselle."

She gave him a sad smile, afraid to laugh again or her body might've fallen weak under this strong power, which now surrounded her neck, as well.

She gulped when he started to talk again, his voice was only audible to her, as if he was telepathically communicating with her.

You don't have to put up with this.

Her eyes widened, it was impossible for him to know. She focused her aura on her eyes and then she realized, he was doing the same. He was either really clever or really cautious, she couldn't help but get curious. He was even more interesting than before, it was such a pity that she had to get rid of the very, very sticky object wrapped around her neck and waist.

Smiling indebtedly, she answered as a part of this whole show. "As you wish, monsieur. If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom."

He kissed her hand slowly and eyed her one last time before letting her go. He was sure going to see her again, since he was also a part of this game. Not being able to avoid thinking about the tattoo she had on her collarbone, he started to wait patiently.

Despite her current condition, she was still shining. No one was able to pay the required attention to realize her struggling, she wouldn't let that happen. Humming a song to calm herself down, she looked at her portrait in the mirror.

Perfect hair, perfect face, perfect dress and traits nowhere near perfect. That was her, the real her, or at least the one she prefers to consider real. Focusing her aura on her eyes, again, she examined the gum like object stuck to her body.

"I think you can remove it now," she said and sighed, her last words came out as a whisper. "I'm already under your control."

The infamous magician showed himself, finally, and looked at her apathetically. He was annoyed rather than neutral, she'd say, but his face showed not a single emotion and at such times, it was the hardest to try and read him.

''You say so?'' he asked as he pulled her closer with his Bungee Gum. ''Then why don't you prove that to me?''

She gulped but kept her eyes on his, she wasn't planning to let her guard farther down than she already did. She smiled innocently, her eyes widening slightly as she talked. ''You have more than enough proof to see that, I believe. But if you want to watch an enjoyable show,'' honey was dripping down her tongue and, hell, she was doing pretty well tempting him. ''let me go and I'll gladly put up a wonderful show.''

As soon as she was done talking, her neck and her waist were freed of his Nen and she felt lighter. It was a victory for her, because it'd been so long since the last time she convinced him to do something for her. ''Why, thank you, mon chéri.''

He narrowed his eyes, watching her slowly moving away. He held her wrist and then her hand, intertwining their fingers, he slowly followed her.

"My my, aren't you as graceful as a swan." He whispered into her ear, she could feel the shivers down her spine. ''I must warn you, this might be your swan song. You better not disappoint me.''

She was taken aback for a moment, he obviously threathened her, which was nothing new, but she never felt this terrified. Deciding it was not the time to think about it, she turned her face to him and kissed his cheek, her lipstick left a mark on his porcelain skin. ''When have I disappointed you, Hisoka? Disappointment doesn't exist in dictionaries of people like us.''

His eyes lit up, she could tell he was, now, angry. Although she had no idea why, it scared her and that was unusual. He seperated their hands and held her wrist again, tight. She flinched a bit, but kept smiling. She had to shine, no matter what, even pain wasn't going to stop this.

''I can see you're thinking of freeing yourself,'' he said, his voice was cold and menacing. She, in shock, remembered the thoughts she had while she was dancing with that man. Hisoka was right, she was thinking of freedom, indeed. ''we have to do something about that.''

She wanted to remind him that it was his game, it was all his doing, that he was holding the strings of her as if she was a puppet. She had the right to free herself, in fact, she knew that the man was going to help her get away from Hisoka. She didn't deserve to be trapped like this, she never wanted any of this. Furrowing, she tried to escape from his grip but failed.

''You're forgetting that your freedom is given by me,'' he said. ''your freedom is me.''

No one in the room was aware of anything that was happening, to them they were just having a heated conversation, just like a prom queen and a prom king. She knew that and it was kind of relaxing that no one had to see her like this, but her eyes still searched the room, in hopes of meeting the grey and piercing eyes from before. The moment she found him in the crowd, Hisoka grabbed her chin, making her look at him instead.

''You should keep your beautiful eyes on me.'' She realized that Hisoka knew about him more than she did. It was, in any case, impossible for him to unsee the silent call for help, directed to the man he once longed to fight with. But it was clear, there was something else behind it.

''You always have an ace up your sleeve, don't you?'' she murmured sadly, so close to giving up. He slowly caressed her left cheek, a smirk appared on his face as he pulled his hand back, revealing the card between his index finger and middle finger.

It was the ace of spades

She closed her eyes, a single tear running down her cheek. When Hisoka threw the card away to dry her cheek, she felt a sting on her skin. The card left a paper cut on her collarbone, exactly on her spider tattoo. It looked like the spider's head was cut off, since the neck of the spider was a little bloody now, as if he aimed it there. He threw a quick glance at the man, who was watching the two from a far, trying to think of something to do in order to stop the magician. The look in Chrollo's eyes were so amusing that he smiled before leaning forward to kiss her.

She cursed herself for falling in love with this mad man, when their lips met. She should've kept her feelings under control, when she had the chance to, but she could never know how insane her lover could be.

She shouldn't have underestimated him, at all.

''Mon amour, je sais que tu m'aimes aussi,'' he said as he got away, looking directly into her eyes. ''tu as besoin de moi dans ta vie.''

She gulped, tears kept running down. She didn't care about anyone, anything at all, anymore. It was over, her freedom was him, and she had no chance but to accept that.

''Et je mourrais sans toi, je tuerais pour toi.''

She replied, breathing slowly, she closed her eyes and laughed. If he wanted to play the Joker, she was going to catch up with him. Tiring, tiring, she murmured to herself. 

''You know who to kill first, my little swan.'' Hisoka said, satisfied that she finally gave in. He loved her better when she obeyed to him.

She smiled, nodding to him, and pulled her weapons out. With every step she took, she was spreading fear all around. Her aim was, as her lover implied, the man who once was going to be her savior. Her smile was a sad one, but she was still shining like lightning. 

I'm shining, shining.

Within seconds, almost all of the guests were mercilessly killed by her. It seemed like Chrollo was going to put up a fight, but it didn't matter to her. Chrollo looked at her, her eyes were still begging for help but her aura said the otherwise.

Shining.

''I'm dying,'' she whispered to air.

She shouldn't have underestimated him.

She could get anything she wanted, she could control anyone, anything and everything. She was powerful, she was the white lightning.

Lightning.

''I'm dying.''

She was the Queen.

But Hisoka, was the God.

 

[MY LOVE, I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME TOO. YOU NEED ME IN YOUR LIFE.]

[AND I'D DIE WITHOUT YOU. I'D KILL FOR YOU.]