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Notepad Poetry

Chapter Text

when the blackness curls 
tightly around you
and i don’t know what to do
my heart shatters for the fifth time this week.
because you want me to give you faith
when i have about none.

you expect my soul to be pure
when it’s gasping for breath.
i hope God holds you tightly,
darling,
because right now-

i cannot.

Chapter Text

I adore you.

I adored you when I shook your hand
and said, “Nice to meet you.”
I adored you when I walked away
and you said, “Nice to meet you too.”

I adored you when you took me skating
and even when you laughed as I fell,
I adored you.

I adored you when you held my waist
as we danced. 
As the mgaic burst forth from our chests
and I shuddered from the weight of it all,
I still adored you.

When we kissed
and I felt small and afraid,
I adored you.

I adored you through summer
and fall
and winter
then spring.

I adored you as I pictured our future
of joy and pure unending love.

I adored you.

I adore you.

But I think that you just
stopped adoring me
the second you realized 
I was adoring you.

Chapter Text

words spill.
i wipe them up.
you ignore them.

words spill.
i scoop them up.
you’re reading the newspaper.

words spill.
i throw a veil over them.
you continue watching t.v.

words spill.
i hesitate.
you don’t notice.

words spill.
i leave them there;
i hope they burn into your heart and soul.

you ask me where we’re going for dinner.

Chapter Text

Loneliness is a chill that holds my jaw steady.
Loneliness sits on my chest and I can’t breathe.

Your arms are made of warmth that cups my cheeks.
You make me feel soft and it scares me.

But loneliness scares me more
because my jaw
is starting to ache.

Chapter Text

the lights are off-
my eyes are heavy.
you’re holding me
and i know you’ll let me
escape if i must
but my body is heavy.
haze comes in softly
and chokes me to sleep.
in my slumber,
i cannot breathe.
the world keeps moving
and trepidation keeps me under.

please
wake me up.