Chanyeol woke up at some odd hour for the fourth time that week. He turned to his side to see his boyfriend snoring softly and fast asleep. He quietly got out of bed, making sure not to wake his lover, and reached for the packet of cigarettes.
It’s not like he wanted to put tar in his lungs and invite several deadly diseases into his body, but it felt good.
He opened up the window slowly trying not to make as much sound as possible and blew out the toxins. It was almost therapeutic for him: wake up in the middle of the night, smoke some cigarettes, go back to sleep. Baekhyun knew he smoked cigarettes, but not as much as he thinks.
“Ahem”, Chanyeol turned around to see an angry Baekhyun. He quickly smothered the cigarette in the ash tray and locked eyes with his boyfriend “I’m sorry I woke you” Chanyeol said sincerely. To that Baekhyun just nodded and lifted the covers inviting him back to bed. He knew he was upset that he was smoking.
“You know that’s not good for your health. I want you to get better, I don’t want you dying when you’re thirty.” The small brunette whispered with sadness.
Chanyeol sighed and apologized again and held his boyfriend close to him. Baekhyun, the environmental activist and florist didn’t want smoke anywhere near him or his plants. Chanyeol did not want to be addicted to cigarettes, but he was. He never liked to admit things like this but this time he knew it was true.
Baekhyun’s light singing could be heard from downstairs as Chanyeol awoke from his slumber. He changed quickly and went downstairs, cigarette packet in hand. What a beautiful sight, his boyfriend, the early morning sun, and his flowers. Baekhyun smiled at him gleefully as he watered his plants. Back when they had first met each other through a friend he was very quiet and only talked about his mom. It seemed kind of odd to Chanyeol at first but sweet because he always sent her flowers.
“How’d you sleep?”, Chanyeol asked. “Good. Until a certain someone let a cold breeze into the room”. He looked at Baekhyun sympathetically “I thought you said you limited your smoking to three a week, that was the tenth.” his boyfriend cocked his eyebrow at him. “I’m trying Baek...” he said as he tried to hide the cancer pack behind his back. “I’ll take that”, said a giggling Baekhyun as he swiftly snatched it from him. “You’ll get it back when you behave good”.
Anxiety started creeping up inside Chanyeol yet he put on a smile for his boyfriend. “Please just one baby...” Chanyeol held Baekhyuns hand trying to take the cigarettes back. Baekhyun leaned forward seductively almost kissing him, “no”.
Chanyeol went to work later and found himself standing outside a gas station during his break. Baekhyun could always tell when he was lying, he’s special like that. Chanyeol decided against buying cigarettes and got coffee instead. More drugs but at least this one can’t kill him that easily. He walked back to his office and spotted his friend Jongin. He typed away aimlessly at his computer but was relieved to see his friend Chanyeol.
“Thank god its you”. Jongin was twenty four years old well built male with sun kissed skin. “So how’s things going with you and Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol asked “Good, he’s moving in with me this week” he said smiling. “Wow that’s great, I’m happy for you man” Jongin stopped typing, “Yeah, thank you. What about you and Baekhyun?”
Chanyeol rubbed his neck and looked at the floor, “He’s upset that I’m smoking and he took away my cigs...” he trailed off awkwardly and before he knew what was going on he could feel tears forming in the corner of his eyes. Jongin looked at him worriedly “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Do you want some of mine?” It wasn’t the fact that he took his cigarettes that pained him. It was the fact that Baekhyun was trying so hard for his sake and he can’t get a grip and control himself. “No. It’s alright I’m okay.”
Trying to to get back to work and being productive was a struggle. He could feel himself slowly falling into an existential crisis. No not here, he thought to himself, he needs to get a grip on himself. Despite wanting to prove to his boyfriend that he can quit he still wants to smoke and that’s what angers him. He looks around the office, 5:30 pm, only thirty minutes left.
He’ll feel better after he smokes.
Chanyeol never played by the rules and he never really cared. It seemed like no one could hold him down. Except of course his father: the one person in life who truly gave him hope. After his dad died cigarettes managed to replace a small piece of happiness that was able to happen naturally. He was never really into smoking at first, but it somehow was soothing to him. He didn’t expect anyone to talk to him except his friend Jongin. That of course all changed when the delightful Baekhyun came into his life.
Baekhyun works from home often unless he’s catering. Plants spoke to him on levels people could never understand, they are all unique and beautiful to him. He glanced over the counter, there it is. The cancer pack. Baekhyun promised himself that he’d help Chanyeol get better. An idea sprang into his lovely mind. “Hm” he laughed at his own thoughts. He reached for the pack and began to unravel the contents.
6:05 pm. Chanyeol has been standing outside the gas station for five minutes. He knows the guilt will gnaw at him if he buys a pack, but at this point he just wants to calm down. He makes zero eye contact with the cashier, he might as well be the undertaker. He goes back to his car with mixed feelings on his decision. He lights up the cancer stick and inhaled death. He exhales his current problems and feels his hands stop shaking.
It’s all just a big trap, there’s no way to win, yet you can’t stop. He takes another breath this time slowly inhaling and thinking about his life.
He remembers the first time he smoked so vividly like it was the day before. He was never really into smoking at first before the incident, but afterwards he used it as way to cope with his loss. Now on his second cigarette, he drove home quietly, only listening to the occasional sound of ash hitting the tray.
When he finally got home he debated on whether or not getting out of the car. He knows Baek will figure out he smoked, and seeing his lover disappointed in him is just something he preferred not to see. He gingerly got out of the car and made his way toward the house.
He was surprised to see the door open wide and his boyfriend waiting for him with a smile on his face. Baekhyun ran up to him. “I missed you, how was your day” Baekhyun said as Chanyeol pulled him into a hug and gently kissed him. “Good, nothing too stressful today”. They both went inside, still holding hands, as Baekhyun led him toward the living room. They say down on the couch together, Chanyeol now became a human pillow according to Baekhyun. “Lets just stay like this for a while. I’m tired”. Chanyeol of course had no intention of denying him. They stayed like that for a while, Chanyeol lightly stroking his beautiful boyfriends hair and exchanging soft touches and kisses. Nothing last forever though.
Baekhyun exclaimed he had to buy groceries and tried to escape from his boyfriends grasps. “Yeoool let go” the brunette giggled as his boyfriend refused to let him go. After a few moments of heated touches and prying himself from Chanyeol he finally left to go grocery shopping. Chanyeol finally got off of the couch and trudged his way to the kitchen until something caught his eye.
Baekhyun could not stop smiling as he made his way to the supermarket. His plan was in full swing and was currently going great now all he needed was food to make up for the light damage that was soon to come.
Bored. In need of some relaxation. An escape. The cigarettes said it all. He reached for the pack and felt a weight grow in his heart. He grabbed his lighter and began to light a cigarette. He inhaled the relaxation, something was off.
He began coughing and sputtering all over the place. What the hell was wrong with his cigarette. He crushed the cigarette open to find flowers and not tabbaco. Forget me nots.
Chanyeol dropped to the floor and laughed like a mad man. This man truly loves him and he loves him back. He wants him to get better. He felt his heart grow heavy in realization that he does not want to die young like he’s always told himself. He is in love with the worlds sweetheart.
There was a knock at the door. Chanyeol’s laughter was cut short as he ran to open the door. It was none other than Baekhyun with food and chocolate “I love you! You idiot you almost killed me” Chanyeol exclaimed as he helped him with the groceries. Baekhyun laughed so hard and his boyfriend pulled him close to his chest. “ I want you to spend as much time with me as possible I don’t want you to leave so soon”. “I love you Yeol” Baekhyun said. “I love you too” Chanyeol said as he kissed the top of his head. Baekhyun looked up to the taller man with a serious look
“But in all seriousness I will put flowers in all your cigarettes if I have to.” To that Chanyeol picked him up, he really does love him. “You are truly a treasure you know that.” Chanyeol saw how happy his boyfriend was and he realized how precious life is. He had always been a live for the moment type of person but somethings changed in him now. He wants to spend as much time as possible with his Baekhyun. If there is a chance that his very own angel saved him, it’s true.