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Regret

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I have always loved games. Nothing excited me in my daily life as the feelings I got acting as a warrior solving puzzles while fighting demons and other beasts.

Considering my father was the CEO at Zhen Yi technology, a company which developed games my originally fascination probably started in my early childhood. A time when dad used to let me try out new games before they entered the marked.

The joy of finding and experiencing something new never left me as I grew up. The virtual world gave me more than money could by in the real world.

When I was finally seen as a man in society, dad began demanding for me to join him at his company. At first I was excited, but that feeling soon left me when all he wanted for me to do was to sit behind a desk signing un important documents.

It made me feel like I was miles away from the dreams from my childhood.

Since he was demanding for me to sit in my big office everyday, I spend my time doing the things I loved. I played online games.

The game Dreaming of Jianghu gave me a way to hide from my nagging father and the ignoring from my mother.

Wearing my armour, holding a powerful bow made me invisible. Inside the game I found friends with similar interest as mine, and we started a guild together.

I had been a member of the Jade Seas Rising Tide guild for years before an assignment came which demanded participants to be married inside the game in order for them to participate. Since the prize was something I really wanted I asked Reed WeiWei, a comrade in arms to marry me. She was the obvious choice because she fought better than most of the male players, and as a woman worked surprisingly well with me.

She agreed and soon I had the prize in my arms.

Fighting side by side with Reed WeiWei was exhilarating. The two of us together defeated almost everyone we wanted as long as we fought together.

Unlike other female players WeiWei did not ask personal questions, and despite the fact she knew I was a rich man in real life she did not request anything from me. She was refreshing.

My feelings for the faceless person behind the lady in red figure began to grow.
Is it possible to fall in love with someone who they have never met or even seen a picture of?

Everything changed one day when WeiWei was offline and I was chatting with other players. Today's topic was Reed WeiWei, and who was hiding behind that nickname. It all started innocently about how well she fought and her strong persona.

They asked me if I knew how she looked like offline. If she was beautiful.

With a sad heart I admitted I did not know since the two of us have never had deep conversations and never exchanged personal information. Despite the fact we had been married in the game for almost six months.

Then someone said something which shifted the way in which I looked at Reed WeiWei. “Are you sure Reed WeiWei is not really a boy playing a female character?”

At first I protested, but then like a puzzle the pieces seemed to fit more if it was a male player.
Out of the games serves top ten players Reed WeiWei was the only female one. She always refused the help of others if she could work for it herself. She did not accept my gifts nor act as a typical girl. She didn't even address me by my first name.

Had she deceived me all these months?

In a desperate last attempt to find out more of WeiWei I asked her if she wanted to meet up. Since we were both on the Beijing server I knew the probability she was in the same city as me, and therefore would make it easy for the two of us to meet face to face. I tried to tempt her by asking her to join me in one of the most expensive restaurants in the city.

She refused me. Breaking my heart.

After that I saw her refusal as the last stepping block which confirmed for me that the player behind the lady in red was male.

I had never thought myself to be homosexual. Always loved pretty women to be honest. Because of this I decided to look elsewhere in order to let my heart heal.

On one of the forum pages was a poll, Dream Angel. A place where female players posted pictures of themselves in order to win who was the most pretty one. WeiWei had not participated.

The female who won was a woman called Enchantress. Her name fitted her picture.
She was beautiful and exactly what I needed in order to forget WeiWei.

Slowly but surely the gaming relationship between myself and Enchantress got stronger and stronger. My heart started to heal a little.

Unfortunate I was still married to Reed WeiWei and could therefore not make a real connection the Enchantress.

One day I finally managed to address the issue with WeiWei and contacted the other gamer online. Asking for a divorce.

Seeing how easy my wife agreed, not even asking any questions as to why, made me realize I was the only one with strong emotions.
I did the right thing.

 

oOoOo

 

Just a few days after my divorce I asked Enchantress if she wanted to couple up with me. She agreed at once.

Playing with my new wife was totally different from what it had been with WeiWei.
She might not be a strong fighter, but it gave me some male pride when she hid behind me. Wishing for my protection.

Considering how I had know Reed WeiWei as a female for so long it was hard for me to even think of the person behind the character as male. Mentally I knew it would be more correct to describe my ex wife as male, but it confused me even more. Despite everything I could never address my ex wife as anything except female. My heart would not let me.

My former wife was not single for long as well. Just a few days after my own wedding ceremony she married the number one player on the server, Yixiao Naihe. In the darkness of my room during the night it was announced I let my frustration and jealousy out on my pillow. Screaming as no one heard it.

I tried to reassure myself that I had done the right thing. It was Yixiao Naihe time to act as Reed WeiWei’s fool.

 

oOoOo

 

Enchantress knew how to flirt and it did not take long before we were in a relationship both online and offline. Meeting whenever we could.

In the beginning I felt happy. I had a strong relationship with a beautiful woman of which almost everyone envied me for. We fitted well in that aspect.

Nonetheless I still felt a little bitter having been played by Reed WeiWei. And with Enchantress own resentment it was easy to gang up against my ex. We even made a movie for a contest and posted it online which indirectly embarrassed WeiWei. It might have been a little petty but it made Enchantress happy.

Unfortunate my ex wife's new husband did not let the issue lie.
He confronted me on the forum again and again. Demanding for my participation in a real battle. Obviously wishing to seek revenge on behalf of his wife.

I knew this was a fight I would hardly win but I had to try. This was the man which was now connected to WeiWei in my stead. The best partner I have ever had in a game.
I missed playing with my ex, and in a way I wanted to participate not because he demanded my to do so, and that I would hurt my pride if I refused, but because I was jealous of what I had lost.

It is a little embarrassing to think back at how easily he defeated me. But I took it as a man, knowing when to let the issue go and deleted the movie from the forum.

A few days later Reed WeiWei posted a movie as well. At first I thought it was a counterattack at myself and Enchantress for our first movie. It was not so.

They had made a beautiful, but sad story about love and betrayal.

 

oOoOo

 

Considering the new connection Reed WeiWei had to a player outside our own guild it should not have surprised me I would see less and less of my ex online.
Despite it all it affected me more than I wished to admit.

My frustration grew, and in order to hide it from my girlfriend I took her out on shopping dates. Seeing her smile as I paid for the things she wanted brighten my day a little at least.

Combined with some of my wife's female friends we made a new movie and posted it in the contest. Despite having spent more than a few hours filming and making the new movie I knew it was not up to speed with what Yixiao Naihe and WeiWei had made.

Considering I had a nagging wife who wanted the winning prize, which was a pair of matching rainbow suits, and the fact I hated the reminder of seeing something which my ex wife made with her new husband, I sunk to a new low. I contacted a fellow guild member which I knew was a close friend with WeiWei and asked her to contact my ex on my behalf. In my request I offer WeiWei money so she would drop out of the contest.

Like the past WeiWei did not want anything from me, and denied my offering yet again.

Now everything was in the hands of the other players since the winner would be decided by votes from other gamers.

Weeks went by, and the competition was finally over. I lost against Yixiao Naihe yet again. The bastard.

 

oOoOo

 

I knew the accusations against Reed WeiWei for having shared secret information with her new playmates was wrong. Did they not know her at all?
My relationship with my ex might be non existing as of now, and even if she was probably a he, the person playing the lady in red had a strong moral. She would never consider do anything to hurt her guild. Reed WeiWei had been a member for years, one of the founding members.

Nonetheless I did not try to protect her. What would my wife do if I ever tried? I can just imagine all the nagging she would direct in my direction. All the things she would tell her three female friends. Oh, the horror.

In the end Reed WeiWei left. My heart was conflicted because of it. In a way I was glad there would be an even less chance of me seeing her online, on the other hand I grieved her loss. Both for me personally and for the guild to lose such a great player.

Just a few days after WeiWei served her connection with our guild an new announcement was made throughout the whole server. Reed WeiWei and Yixiao Naihe was declared “The first immortal lovers”. They had completed the quest for the Condor Hero. A task in which no other couple had even been close to completing.

As I watched the two of them flying together in the sky on a phoenix I tried to tell myself I was not envious of the man dressed in white.