Chanyeol wasn’t having any of it. The mark on his forearm wasn’t there just for decoration. It had a meaning, it was telling him something, and he wasn’t going to throw that out of the window. He was going to wait, to prepare for the one he was meant to be with. For his Âme soeur. The one with a matching mark.
Jongin, fucking around, and laughing like a seal. Smiling like nothing hurts, dancing like everything's fine. Jongin, sad, and poor little Jongin, he wasn’t a big fan of being alive, but he wasn’t a big fan of dying either.
There was something about Baekhyun’s life. Baekhyun’s laugh. Baekhyun’s mark. Something off. Something faded. Something death took away.
I mean, yes, he was a pretty cool kid. And he did not have a lot of enemy. Who would want to be against the boy who could cause an earthquake just by stomping his foot ? Pretty much no one. But that was just about it. No one wanted to be against him not because they liked him, but because they were scared of him. Kyungsoo wanted something. Something more than acquaintances, more than scaredy cats who wouldn’t come near him. He wanted a friend, or an enemy. Someone to love, of someone to fight. Someone that would care, and that would make him care.
Soulmate : Two bodies, sharing a soul.
Being honest, there was a bit of envy in those eyes. A bit of, " Why not me ? " and " Am I not good enough ? " A lot of questions, and worries. Looking around him and seeing how almost everyone has found it, Park Chanyeol was feeling left out. He was wondering, questioning, and maybe even, he was hating God or who knows who for not giving it to him. Because that wasn’t fair, that he was the only one. That wasn’t fair that he still hadn’t find the one person that would complete him. Not after searching for so long.
Well, at least, that’s what Chanyeol was thinking. Maybe reality was a bit different. Maybe he was still young, and maybe, just maybe, he was kind of impatient as well. Because Chanyeol was only 17, and if he was really looking around him, he would have seen, that he wasn’t the only one without a plus one. He wasn’t the only teenager in the cafeteria, that was absolutely alone. And maybe he was just a tiny bit over dramatic. But of course, who would say that to him ?
Chanyeol sighed for the umptieth time as he grabbed his chopsticks and started to eat his black bean noodles, his eyes never leaving the couple in front of him. It wasn’t helping, really, that their tongues were down their throats, and that they were feeling each other up without a care in the world. The girl’s legs tight around her boyfriend’s waist and her hands buried in his hair. The sight wasn’t particularly pretty, but for Chanyeol, it was something that he had always wanted. Not the face sucking, but the loving each other. He could see their mark glowing under their skin, and what could me more beautiful than this ?
" Hoy. " Chanyeol could feel the hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t move. " How can you eat looking at this ? It’s a bit too much don’t you think ? "
An ironic laugh came out of the teenager’s mouth before looking up at his friend.
" Really Jongin ? "
" What ? " The tanned boy asked, putting his tray on the table and sitting down.
" Not sure you’re one to talk. "
" What the fuck Dude, I’ve never done that. "
" Yeah, right, so you weren’t kissing the life out of your little boyfriend out at the entrance gate when I came looking for you a while ago ? "
" Not my boyfriend, and I so wasn’t. "
" Yes, you so weren’t. "
Jongin was eating like a pig, as usual, while Chanyeol was looking at him, a bit disgusted, and wondering why was this guy his best friend, but then again, it’s not like he was the most normal one around here.
The younger, stuffed his face, not even looking at him, phone in his left hand and chopsticks in his right. Chanyeol eyes started to wonder, and for a moment, they find themselves observing his best friend's features. His sharp jaw and full lips. His tanned skin, and almost white hair. Jongin was a real sight. He was hot, and the boy fucking knew it. There wasn’t a girl in his grade who did not want a piece of him, and he was more than glad to oblige. Sure, the black little mark on his forearm was there to prove that he did have someone to wait for, but Jongin wasn’t one to wait forever. He would totally be on board once he find the person he was meant to be with, but until then, he was going to have all the fun in the world. Which, in his case, meant fucking around with everyone who was willing to have him (and that was a lot).
" There’s a party this weekend at Jongdae’s place " Jongin was suddenly looking at him, his lips shining and his chin covered in sauce, and for a moment Chanyeol asked himself why was he the only one seeing Jongin as he was; a fucking disaster.
" Of course there is one. " Jongdae loved partying. He was always one for throwing out those big ass parties for everyone to join. There wasn’t even a particular event. He just liked having people over.
" Care to join ? "
" Yeah, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, I think my parents aren’t really fond of me going out since we came home shit faced two weeks ago you know. " Really, it wasn’t that his parents were strict. Seeing Chanyeol and Jongin trying to come in while using a twig instead of his keys, Chanyeol having lost a shoe somewhere on the way home and Jongin wearing his shirt on his head, wearing nothing else but his jeans, this, only this, maybe that would have been okay, but when they figured out that not only they stole a traffic sign, but that Chanyeol had used his fire to burn down a bush for absolutely no reason, they were a bit less okay.
" Oh come on ! Your parents love me, I just need to ask nicely and they’ll say yes. They don't know how to refuse me anything ! " Jongin added, pointing his chopsticks towards Chanyeol. He had a point though. They really did love him, considering him like a second son.
" I’m not so sure Jongin, I kind of want to stay home. "
" Yeah, because that’s how you’re going to find your Âme soeur. Your butt stuck on your bed while going through your Tumblr feed all night long. "
" Uh, first of all, I wouldn’t sit on my bed, I would lie down. And second of all, I would rather drown myself in my Tumblr feed than going to another one of Jongdae’s party if it is to witness everyone acting like fucking lovebirds, and sucking each other’s faces while I’m all alone sitting on the couch. "
" No one asked you to stay alone on the couch. Am I drowning myself in self pity while people are with they’re plus one ? I don’t think so, Chanyeol, I’m having the time of my life. "
" Yes Jongin, and I am not like you. I do not want to go with someone just for the sake of not being alone and lonely for one night. I don’t wan't to fill my life with nameless people. "
Jongin froze for a bit, and Chanyeol knew he hit home. That was maybe a bit harsh, to say it like it was a bad thing, but the truth was rarely a good thing to hear. Even more painful when you’re entire life was a make believe canvas. Jongin could fool anyone with his smiles and jokes, but Chanyeol knew him for almost fifteen years. There wasn't a smile he could fake without Chanyeol knowing, and Jongin faked a lot. Because Jongin was feeling lonely, Jongin was feeling sad, and he was feeling empty. Because Jongin was alone, because he cried himself to sleep sometimes, when he thought no one would hear him, and because Jongin wasn’t a big fan of himself for that matter. Jongin wasn’t a big fan of his own family. The truth is, Jongin wasn’t a big fan of being alive, but he wasn’t a big fan of dying either, and Chanyeol knew that. Chanyeol would thank God everyday for that. Jongin was faking his happiness, and it was painful to watch, painful to witness, but Chanyeol couldn’t do much more to help. He tried, a lot, and he still was, but sometimes, somethings are way bigger than ourselves, and there wasn't a particular way to fix them.
" Okay, listen Park Chanyeol " Jongin put his chopsticks down and wiped his mouth, acting like nothing happened, " I’m not saying you should fuck a different person every night okay ? All I’m saying is that I'm tired of seeing you sigh every ten seconds because you wanna be with someone. You still haven’t found your Âme soeur, and you will, one day, but until then, maybe you should just try to let lose a bit and find yourself a girlfriend, or a boyfriend. "
" You don't get it Jongin.. I don’t wanna be with someone if we aren’t meant to be. It will just end up in tears and broken hearts. I just don’t think that’s a good idea. I'll just wait ’til I find my person. Until then.. " Chanyeol sighed and resumed his eating.
" That’s fucked up man ! For all we know you’re gonna find your Âme soeur in like 10 years, and what ? You’re gonna stay alone until then ?! " Jongin cried in disbelief.
" If I have to yes. "
Jongin couldn’t really believe what he was hearing, but it did seem like the Chanyeol he knew. Still, it was kind of stupid, and a bit depressing. Really, who would be waiting for someone for so long ? He knew how Chanyeol wanted to find his Âme soeur, damn, the guy was looking for them in everyone since he was 3, but this, wasn't this a bit too much ?
" Come on.. You could at least come with me "
" What’s the point ? Once we’ll get there you'll be leaving me alone to find your new partner for the night "
" Yah, I'm not like that ! "
" Right, not at all "
Jongin wasn't really pleased with his best friend right now, that's why he decided to throw his bread at his face, because yes, that was his way of showing him that he didn’t like the way he was talking about him. Really, Jongin was a mature 17 years old teenager.
" You fucktard " Chanyeol was rubbing at his nose, glaring at him.
" So, are you coming yes or not ? " Jongin looked at him, hopeful, and when he heard the sigh coming out of his best friend, he knew instantly that he had won this one.
" I’m telling you, you do you with my parents, I’m not asking anything to them. "
" No prob’ mate " He winked at him and grabbed his water bottle.
There wasn’t a thing in this house that Jongin didn’t know the history behind. He knew where this horrible statue of a cat came from, because he was there when Chanyeol bought it for his parents while being on a field trip with his and Jongin's middle school’s classes. He also knew that on this picture, Yoora was pulling Chanyeol’s hair after the boy threw a fake spider at her. He was there, he actually was the one telling Chanyeol that it would be fun, and for a while (a very little one) it actually was. Until Yoora started to race them and the sibling started to fight, leaving Jongin on the side, laughing his ass off like the prick he was, teary eyes and face red from laughing so hard. Chanyeol’s parents came at the time, and maybe they should have stopped Yoora from ripping off Chanyeol’s hair, but the scene was just a bit too much, and so they had to take a picture. So, there he was, his face ridiculously red, hanging in their living room, like he was a part of the family. And maybe, Jongin liked to think that he was.
He sat down, head back and eyes staring at the ceiling, waiting for his best friend to come back from the kitchen with something to eat. He heard the front door opening and he knew who it was, just by the sound of their steps. Just a few seconds later, Chanyeol came in, his arms full of snacks and he sat down next to Jongin.
" Park Chanyeol, come back here. " A voice came out of the kitchen, and Jongin looked at his best friend, then at the snacks.
" Why, what did I do ? " Whiny Chanyeol was back.
" Don’t you start whining like a giant baby." Soon, his father came into the living room, looking at the boys and the snacks they were eating. " What do you think you guys are doing ? "
" Uh.. Eating ? " Stating the obvious was always Chanyeol’s best trait.
" You don’t say. " His father sat down, looking at Jongin who was eating without a care in the world.
" Then why do you ask ? " Chanyeol shrugged and grabbed himself a snack.
" You’re not going to eat all that, are you ? "
" We probably are, actually " Jongin smiled, and kept eating.
" Why do I have a teenage boy again ? " He asked himself.
" Hey, you chose me. " Chanyeol wasn’t wrong about this. His parents did choose him. And his sister. When he was about 7 months old and her, 3 years old.
" Why did I ? " His father said.
" Because of my handsome face. " Chanyeol threw a big toothy smile at his father, and Jongin pushed him off the couch, because, really ?
" The boy dare to dream " Chanyeol glared at his best friend, and his father laughed.
" I see you guys are in a good mood "
" Aren’t we always ? " Jongin smiled again.
" I guess " His best friend’s father smiled back, grabbing one of the snack.
" Daaaad, those are ouuuurs "
" I haven’t see you pay for them, you ungrateful butt "
" Ugh, that was a lame ass insult Dad. "
A little laugh left Jongin, and he felt home. This, he was used to, he loved, he cherished.
An hour passed, laughing and chatting with his father, until he grabbed all the remaining food. Chanyeol looked at him, and soon, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the little black mark that was embroidered on his father’s wrist.
It has always been one of those obsessions of his, seeing his father’s mark, and the way it was perfectly completing his Dad’s one.
Chanyeol learned about Âme soeur when he was still a little boy. He couldn't be more than 2 when he asked for the very first time why he did have a black little mark on his forearm. His parents sat him down, and they explained. Both his dads were smiling and talking like it was the best thing in the world. Like there was nothing more beautiful than finding your Âme soeur and living with them. And that’s when Chanyeol’s obsession began. Because his fathers did look like they were everything to each other, and that’s what Chanyeol wanted. A partner, a lover, a best friend. His Dads were his models. They loved each other since they were pre middle schooler, and nothing has changed. And Chanyeol knew that it was the mark. He knew that it was because they were meant to be together.
The mark on his forearm wasn't too big, nor too small. It was a black mark, and it did not really represent anything that Chanyeol has seen before. It would make sense, when he would find his Âme soeur, but until then Chanyeol would be in the dark, and that wasn't really that big of a deal for him. He didn't really care about what the mark could be representing, but he did care about the person who was sporting it. There wasn't an actual day when Chanyeol wouldn't think about them, his Âme soeur.
In all honesty, Chanyeol was a bit scared finding out who he was meant to be with, because even though he wanted this for as long as he could remember, it would be something entirely new, and he wasn’t sure he was going to be good enough.
But the boy wanted to. Oh, how he wanted to. Meet the one, and be with them. Laughing, crying, screaming, loving. Everything, and even more.