Actions

Work Header

Technology Marches On

Work Text:

Disclaimer: Not mines. Anything here mention by name isn't mines. Honeymoon Avenue belongs to Ariana Grande. Captain America The Winter Soldier belongs to Marvel Studios and Disney.


"What do you guys think it is?"

"I don't think it's a good idea to touch it Teddy."

"Well then, we can make Vern touch it."

"Why do I have to touch it?"

"Because if something happens to you, we'll know not to touch it."

"You touch it then!"

"Fuck that, I like having all ten of my fingers. I need them."

"Then use your toes the next time you're alone with a Skin mag."

Chris just sighed in exasperation. He didn't care which one of them touch the damn thing, he just wanted it gone.

The boys had came to the treehouse for a relaxing Saturday afternoon of goofing off when suddenly a small rectangular object fell through the roof and landed on the crate/table. It had a black screen, was smooth around the edges, and covered in a rubbery hot pink thing. It had been blaring the same song over and over again, on and off, for about an hour and a half.

When we were on Honeymoon Avenue

Honeymoon Avenue

My baby, coastin' like crazy

Can we get back to the way it was?

It had been giving everybody save Vern a headache.

"One of you guys hurry up and find a way to turn it off goddamnit!" Chris screamed. At this point, he was ready to start banging his head on the trunk of the tree. At least it would redirect some of the pain.

"Ok, ok, Men, I'll do it." Teddy said, slipping into his military persona. He shakily stuck out a finger and lightly tap the screen of the object when it made a rippling sound.

"There's water in that?" Vern question. Teddy slowly grabbed the object and pick it up in the palm of his hand.

"Looks like there's a lock on it." Gordie observed as they saw a glowing lock, the screen saying to move it to the right. Teddy dragged it across the screen, which cause it change.

"Whoa." Gordie and Vern said in unison as they huddle up around Teddy and even Chris leaned over to take a peek.

"It says we have a message?" Vern mumbled reading it. And Teddy push the button on the screen that said to listen to the message.

"KYIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

There was a piercing squeal sounding suspiciously like tires skidding to a sudden stop. Chris was starting to think he would need one of those transistor hearing aids.

"You guys finally figured it out, I'm so proud of you! Anyhoo, my name is Emily Reeds and my mom finally let me use the time travelling cell phone recorder to send you guys a message! Can I just say I love Stand By Me, I caught the movie playing on ION one day and was instantly hooked. I even started looking up Stand By Me fanfiction and read the novella it was based on. O.M.G! O.M.G.! I can't believe I'm talking to the real Stand By Me boys, Vern you are so funny and Gordie you are so cute and I feel so sorry for what you have to deal with at home. And Omugosh Chris and Teddy, you two were hottest boys in the movie. I mean, I know you guys are suppose to be twelve and I'm fifteen, but the actors playing you two were closer to my age which makes it ok! I hope science finds a way to make time travel happen so I can go back in time and meet you guys and we can go on fun adventures…."

She had more to say but the boys didn't get to hear it as Chris quickly swipe the phone from Teddy's hand and threw it through the treehouse's window. His face reflecting the same look of horror and disgust as all four of them had.

"What… was that?" Gordie asked in a hoarse whisper.

"I don't know and I don't want to experience something like that again man." Chris said, shaking.


Mr. Lachance sat on the couch. Below were four strange devices on the coffee table called 'Remote Controls' and he didn't know which one to pick. He grabbed the one on the far left and push the button that said "Power" above it. The TV screen whined to life but went black with a glowing green CH. 3 in the upper right corner. Mr. Lachance picked up another remote and push it's power button and suddenly the TV showed a picture.

"Ok." He muttered. He started pushing buttons on the remote. One that cause the color to change on the TV from black and white to bright colors that seem to bleed. Little boxes with lettering that read what the people on the TV were saying. Buttons that seem to cause certain channels to become unviewable. He started pushing the buttons that had numbers above them, causing the TV to change channels.

"So if these buttons are a channel, then these 'Ch' buttons must be…"

He clicked a button and the screen change to a show about a British man talking about lions.

Click

Now it featured a cartoon with a noodle armed boy with no nose and a white hat with a yellow dog dancing around with living candy.

Click

"It's going to be Legen… wait for it… Dary!"

Click

Now it feature a show with people wearing tight burgundy, yellow, or blue uniforms talking to each other in some kind of space ship.

Click

Now it feature a show with a Negro woman talking to a large audience of people.

Click

A show about remodeling homes and gardens.

Click

A cooking show.

Click

Another cartoon, this time with two boys, one with a triangle shaped head and another with a square one building something while a green platypus went on a spy mission.

Click

A news station.

Click

Another news station.

Click

Some kind of weird puppet show.

"Hey, we're going to learn about the Word on the Street. What's the word on the street?"

"Anxiety!"

He push a button.

"¿Qué es la ansiedad?"

"El estrés puede provenir de cualquier evento o pensamiento que lo haga sentir a uno frustrado, enojado o nervioso."

"Sentir miedo!"

He push that button again.

"And that's the Word on the Street!"

Mr. Lachance put the remote down and ran his fingers through his hair.

"All I wanted to do was to watch Hazel!"


"Let me freshen up and I'll be ready."

"Take your time Babe." Billy drawled as he lied down the bed. He couldn't believe it, after waiting so long, him and Connie were finally going to do it. He was sick of having to listen to the other guys brag about their conquests but now he can finally join in!

He sigh as he listen to the sound of the faucet running in the bathroom and looked around Connie's bedroom. The he open the door on your nightstand and looked around. Her diary, some pencils, nothing interesting. He was about to close it when something caught his eye. He reach inside and pulled out a box. He shook it and heard something scraping in there. He open it up and couldn't believe what he saw.

"What in the...?" He inquired as he turn the box upside and gave it a light shake some a pack feel out. He tore it open and marvel at the small, squishy, tube object in his hand. "I heard Catholic girls could be kinky but…"

"Ok Billy I'm ready… Billy?" Connie returned and was confused why her boyfriend was glaring at her.

"Connie, what is this?!" He asked as he held out the tube object accusingly.

"Oh that?" She rolled her eyes and smiled, "Billy, those are my tampons-"

"Tampons!" Billy yelled. "You have sex toys now? Using these when you're out with some other guy?"

"Billy what are you talking?!" Connie yelled back.

"Forget it, I ain't staying with some girl if she's double-crossing me. You can keep your toys." Billy said as he got up and left, completely forgetting that he was still naked and greeted with the screams of an appalled Mr. and Mrs. Palmero.


"So what do you think it is?" Vern asked as the two had discover a box with a small circular object inside. The box read CAPTAIN AMERICA THE WINTER SOLDIER.

"I don't know but it's pretty flat." Teddy said as he examined it. "Don't seem to weigh nothing either." He toss it up and down.

"You think someone order it from a comic book? It says 'Captain America' on it?"

"Probably, but this ain't no X-Ray glasses." Teddy said as he peek through the little hole in the middle of the object. When he tried to turn it over, it slip and spun to the ground. "Hey Vern, I think I know what it is!" Teddy exclaimed.

"What?"

"It's a tosser!"

Vern raised an eyebrow, "A tosser?"

"Yeah, I think I'm suppose to throw it to you and you throw it back."

"Are you sure?" Then Vern pointed to another little black box. "I'd push this button on this thing that has the same blue 'B' on it and it opens this tray. I think we're suppose to put it in here."

"Naw man, it's pussy." Teddy quickly rejected.

"Why is it pussy?"

"Because… because shut up and get other there so I can toss it to you." Teddy demanded. Vern just shrugged and followed.

The End.