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Cold Hearted

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I span in his arms and clung to him like a monkey to a vine. I'd missed him so much. Before I'd went to sleep and woke up with a refurbished life, my brother was my best friend — I was just hoping it was the same now.

"Jordan, I've missed you." I murmured into his shoulder, clasping onto my own wrists behind his back.

"Feels like it's been forever." I whispered, clenching my eyes shut as he held me.

His hands rubbed up and down my back before they came to my arms. He pulled me off him and kissed my forehead. "What's up with you being all nice?"

"You are my only brother." I shrugged, spinning back around in my chair.

He nodded, snatching a bag of chips from the counter. "Very true."

Luna looked between us both uneasily and I silently mouthed for her to stop it before he took notice and asked what was wrong. It was hard to lie to my brother seems as though he knew me inside out, cover to cover as though I was a favoured book — if he ever read any.

Luna cleared her throat and jumped onto the counter "So, how long is it until you're going back to uni?"

"Tomorrow," Jordan replied with a mouthful. Thought maybe we'd go out for a bite to eat before I've gotta leave."

"Sure, sounds fun," I answered quickly. 

Shit, Dan had dinner planned for tomorrow! "Actually, nevermind, I have plans."

"More important than your only big brother?" Jordan scoffed mockingly.

I rolled my eyes. "You know I love you, I just don't like standing people up."

"You won't be standing them up," he shrugged casually. "Call them and tell them you have other plans — more important plans with your only brother who'll kick their ass."

I thought for a moment. I had no idea what to do, at all. I'd ask Luna if I thought it'd help but she's as indecisive as I am. "Maybe we should go out for the day and then just have lunch out."

"Packing all day," Jordan took a breath from the glass of water he was downing. "I was thinking dinner at seven."

I'm guessing thats the same time Dan wanted to take me out. "But here's the thing–"

"If it's a guy, Luxandra, I'll laugh at you and then tell mom and dad how you think boys come before family." My brother interrupted with an amused smirk.

"But you're a boy," I mirrored his stupid smirk and he rolled his eyes. I straightened my mouth and swallowed back the urge to just call Dan and rub it in Jordan's smug little face. "You're right. Dinner at seven. Cool."

"There you go," Jordan sang. "See you both at seven then. I gotta run, seeing some guy about a bike."

I smiled and waved as he made his way casually out of the house, focused on his phone. Once he'd left my face went flat and I stared at Luna. "What the fuck?"

"What?" She laughed.

"I kind of just had an argument with Dan about the reason my brother doesn't know about us and he walked out. Now, my brother is here and I'm supposed to be at a family dinner with Jordan and an anniversary dinner with Dan tomorrow night at the same flipping time." I ranted, slapping my hands over my eyes. 

Luna gasped. You guys still do that anniversary thing?"

"Apparently." I shrugged, giving her a look through my fingers.

"Aw! that's cute," she grinned. "He's so good to you. I don't understand why your brother wouldn't be happy with you guys dating."

"He's my big brother, no guy will ever be good enough." I sighed longingly, thumping my head onto the table.

Luna made her way across to me and rubbed my back, slowing playing with my hair. "There was something weird about the way he looked so angry when you mentioned his name that time at the barbecue."

My eyebrows furrowed and I brought my head of the table. "Remind me of that."

"You don't remember?" She looked shocked and so I smiled sheepishly and shook my head. "It was here, like just when you and Dan started dating. You slipped his name out when your aunt asked if you had any guys in your life and Jordan looked like you'd just slapped him in the face. That night you called me, crying your eyes out because he'd told you not to date him. You said he was like 'He's no good for you... You can do better ... Just stay away from him... He's a bad guy.' and then just walked out without a word."

Well, what did I do?" I asked, indulged in the story.

She laughed quietly and sat beside me. "You didn't speak of him again to your family, but you continued to date him. He makes you happy like no one else can, you knew that and you chose to keep a hold on it."

"Aren't I wise." I smirked, laying my head on her shoulder.

"Very," Luna sighed. "So what're you gonna do about tomorrow?"

"Aside from hoping that it never comes?" I replied tentatively. "I dunno."

Luna rolled her eyes and jumped onto the stool beside me. "Dan loves you so I'm sure he won't be that bothered about you blowing him off; especially since it's your brother."

"I hope you're right."

"Am I ever not?" She grinned coyly.

I rolled my eyes and ran up the stairs, face planting the lush covers of my bed and taking a nap that would swish away all my problems for a little while.

"Psst," my head twitched as a voice whispered in my ear. "It's getting late."

I rolled over, shoving my hands under my pillow. "Five more minutes, mom."

"Sure thing, sweetheart. But you're certainly going to be late." Hold on a sec. My mom isn't Australian or a dude. It could only be...

Dr. Des Tiny a.k.a Dark Star a.k.a Shooting Star a.k.a pain in my ass.

I shot up from the bed and flung myself around on the covers to face him. "Seriously, what's your problem?"

"No problem," he shrugged, looking confused.

"No problem?" I mocked. "You have several million of those, pal."

He laughed bitterly and dusted his lap. "You're about to have a big one of your own soon enough. However, for the time being, I suggest you get ready for that dinner with your brother."

"That's tomorrow." I rolled my eyes, chucking myself back down.

He hummed a long even tune. "Nope, it's thirty minutes to six. You slept a full day."

"What!?" I scrambled up from the bed and checked my phone; he wasn't lying.

"I did try to wake you," he sighed heavily, shaking his head. "You just never listen."

"Shut up, please." I stared him dead in the eye.

Holding his hands out in a gesture of surrender he shrugged. "Alright. But I think you should wear the black and gold strapless and just curl your hair with those dildo looking things girls use."

"Gee, thanks for the advice Vera Wang."

"Let's not start forgetting who ones friends are." He murmured as I clattered around my bedroom for an outfit; completely non relatedly, I chose to wear exactly what he'd suggested.

I whirled to face him with my underwear in hand and rolled my eyes again. "We're not friends anymore if you keep up this random appearing act; I could be naked."

"Been there, seen that, got the wet shower curtain to prove it." He settled his hands behind his head easily and propped his feet onto my bed.

I shoved his feet from the bed with a grunt and made a shooing gesture. "Go. I need to change."

"You're welcome for waking you up," he spat sarcastically.

Sighing, I rubbed my face. "Fine. Thanks for waking me up and giving me fashion advice, I appreciate it; now leave."

"It was my pleasure." He left after flashing me the most drop dead gorgeous smile.

It was the weirdest thing how he dropped in on me all the time, but it felt more normal every time he popped his strangely gorgeous face in my bedroom. No one would believe me if I told them what was going on; he was the only one I could talk to about this.

Luna must've gone home the night before because I heard no one in the house when I opened my door and held my ear out to listen.

I rushed around to get ready, throwing on the dress that mr. pain in the ass suggested, putting on some makeup and curling my hair as fast as I could. The dress flared out from my waist and frilled around when I moved or fell on my ass halfway down the stairs.

"Ow!" I yelled at the stairs, rubbing the flesh of my butt. That will bruise.

My hands flew to the counter top where my phone laid whilst it charged.

1 New Message — 18:43

Dan Howell

Hope ur ready. Be there soon. 

"Fuck!" I looked at the clock on the microwave: 18:58.

Then the doorbell rang.

My head spun a million miles per hour. First and foremost: Why the hell didn't I text Dan and tell him I had plans with my brother? Why did I sleep the whole night and day? And why the hell did I have a feeling that me blowing off Dan would be more awful than life itself?  

Another knock at the door swung my eyes that way.

Then a ding came from my phone.

1 New Message — 18:59

Dan Howell

I'm outside. 

Fuck, Again!

 Taking a deep breath, I slipped my phone into the gold clutch I held and tried to hear the click of my heels over the heavy thumping of my heart. My fingers brushed over the doorknob and I tried not to let my hands shake as I opened it to reveal Dan.

He looked perfect. He wore a black suit and a white shirt with the top button undone and the hems sticking out beneath his jacket. His shoes were matte black and he held a single red rose in his hand, a lopsided smile on his face when he turned to see me.

I almost melted right then and there.  

"Dan," I started, my voice nothing much above a whisper.

"I know we didn't end things on the best note yesterday. But," he handed me the rose. "I figured it's a new day—night, even."

I stared at the rose, holding it up to my nose to sniff it. Then my eyes scattered back up to Daniel and his smile dropped a little. Dan, I can't—"

He kissed me hard. His hand rounded my neck, my top lip being hugged by his two. It always felt perfect to kiss him. I sighed into the kiss, bringing my arms around his neck and pushing back against him with my own lips.

He pulled back enough to speak, his forehead on mine. "I needed to do that."

I grinned, looking up through my lashes and then pecking him again just because I could. "I'm glad you did."

He wrapped his free hand around my hip and pulled me into him, his hard body aligned with mine so perfectly I thought we'd become one. His tongue fluttered across my lip and slipped inside. I sucked on it and he groaned, squeezing my hip harder.

I felt my mind go fuzzy and then a light behind my eyes flash.


"Dan," I groaned as he pushed me against the wall, unzipping the back of my red dress as he tore it open and attacked my neck and chest with his soft, plump lips.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" He breathed in my ear, his hands gripping my waist.

I let out a small chuckle, and ran my hands through his now messy hair until he looked into my eyes. "How can I not when you tell me everyday."

"Well, it's true." He smiled and brought one hand up to stroke my cheek. "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

I flushed, capturing my lip between my teeth. Dan dropped his eyes to them and slid his hand around the side of my neck, licking his lips. He then kissed me softly, his tongue ever so slightly grazing against mine.

Soon enough, we got heated and he grabbed me harder, his clutch on my hip pushing my thigh against his hard length through the material of his jeans.


The white light flashed again and my eyes sprung open.

Was that a memory? Where was this coming from?

"Luxandra?" I heard a familiar voice I didn't want to hear.

Dan released me and spun around at my side. I could feel that my lipgloss had smudge a little. I could see it glistening on my boyfriend's lips before he licked them clean. That made me want to kiss him again, but I was distracted.

"What in the fuck are you doing here, Howell?"

My brother was not happy.