The next thrust inside Magnus, slow and gentle, makes him whimper.
He’s not sure how long Alec’s been fucking him- it might have been ten minutes or forty, both of them sweat-slick and breathless- but he doesn’t seem to be trying to push either of them over the edge. His rhythm’s deliberately unhurried, as though he wants to make it last days.
Soft kiss lingering in the arch of Magnus’ throat, Alec presses their clasped hands deeper into the mattress either side of Magnus’ head. Alec’s weight keeps Magnus in place, but breath hitching, eyes bright in the dark, he’s always this helpless for Alec and has been for a long time.
‘Alexander…’ Dazed by the next roll of Alec’s hips, Magnus forgets what he was going to say.
Lips skimming Magnus’ skin, hot breath making him shiver, Alec murmurs; ‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’ Magnus tries the slightest of resistance, hands pushing up against Alec’s, but he only holds him down more firmly and adjusts, even more devastatingly slow. Alec glances up at Magnus through his eyelashes and smiles small when Magnus huffs a laugh. ‘But you might yet be the death of me.’
Last night bruised. Desperate to assure themselves Magnus was truly safe, real, back, they’d clawed off clothes and not made it further than inside Magnus’ front door and cried each other’s names, too intense, holding on like they were trying to pull the other out of grief.
Magnus isn’t going to say this is better, because that was everything they needed in that moment, but being loved like this makes him never want it to end.
‘This isn’t how you die,’ Alec mutters, shifting higher along Magnus until they’re eye to eye. ‘Shush.’
The angle changes with his position, slightly deeper, and Magnus’ eyes flutter shut.
He can feel Alec inside him, dragging over his prostate with every slide; trembling, breathing heavier, he arches his back towards Alec. ‘I wouldn’t mind.’
‘I’m sure you wouldn’t.’
Magnus doesn’t answer, can’t focus to, sighing under Alec’s careful movements. He doesn’t notice Alec sliding Magnus’ hands above his head and pinning them both down with only one of his until Alec cups Magnus’ face, thumb running down his cheek.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ Alec breathes, kissing Magnus softly.
‘You can hardly see me.’
‘It wasn’t an observation. I was stating a fact.’ Almost seeming to try and ensure Magnus won’t argue, Alec thrusts harder once.
Magnus whimpers, his body shuddering- Alec returns to the slower, gentler pace he was settled in- and he’s barely able to breathe, utterly stunned. He wonders if Alec even knows how undone he feels.
Lips following the line of Magnus’ jaw and sucking gently, Alec pauses. ‘Are you alright?’
Magnus blinks, black spots behind his eyes, nodding.
Reaching down and easing Magnus’ leg higher, Alec presses in deeper.
Still dazed, Magnus groans at the next thrust, buzzing with overstimulation. ‘I- Alexander, please-’
Alec has him restrained so well even trying to move makes no difference, and Alec doesn’t give in to him. He doesn’t speed up or press any harder; he seems to want to draw this out as long as is physically possible.
Intimacy has never felt like this.
Magnus can’t speak, vaguely aware of Alec’s lips finding his neck again, whispering something Magnus can’t hear and doesn’t think he’s supposed to. Every touch is too much, every touch isn’t enough, and Magnus rolls his head back. Eyes squeezed shut, he surrenders. Anything this man wants. He can have anything.
Voice low and quiet even though Magnus’ whole apartment is silent, Alec presses a kiss under his ear. ‘How long do you think you can take this?’ It’s a genuine enquiry, not wanting to push, not trying to seduce. He doesn’t need to.
‘I don’t… know.’
‘Can I see-?’
Over an hour later, Magnus is wrecked. Every thrust stops his breath, every touch overwhelms- Alec’s already stopped twice to make sure he’s alright. Magnus groans when he stops for a third time, but Alec seems to be trying to get his own breath back, barely less affected than Magnus now, sweating and stunned.
He isn’t sure when Alec let go of his hands, but Magnus reaches up, pulls Alec down so they’re almost kissing. His fingers run through Alec’s hair.
‘I could keep going,’ Alec says against his lips, and Magnus feels like his heart stops. ‘For hours.’
Magnus doesn’t pray, but he says his name like he that’s what he’s doing. He can’t breathe. ‘Alec-’
‘You’d let me.’
He can’t deny it. He’s helpless.
Bracing his hands either side of Magnus’ head, Alec kisses him- Magnus only realises Alec moves again because his body shivers in response, settling back into the feeling. Hips driving into Magnus, rhythm picking up, Alec smiles at the tiny inbreath noises Magnus makes.
Magnus waits for Alec to slow down.
Instead, thighs flexing under Magnus’, Alec adjusts his angle slightly, and it’s not as deep but Alec speeds up and Magnus grabs Alec’s upper arms just for something to cling to, crying out at every thrust.
Alec holds Magnus’ gaze, eyes dark with emotion, but there aren’t the words for this. Magnus forgot what being with him felt like, he was in hell too long, it’s safe and sweet and loved.
He’s lightheaded, exhausted, but that’s not what pushes him over the edge; cheek resting against Magnus’, Alec whispers his name.
Magnus sobs, eyes squeezed shut because the orgasm’s so much it’s almost unbearable, and Alec talks him through it, keeping close and letting Magnus hold him too tight. He’s vaguely aware of Alec’s orgasm, but the world only comes back into focus when Alec’s hand cups his cheek, thumb running down his cheekbone.
He blinks. He can feel the tears rolling out the corners of his eyes, but Alec’s eyelashes are wet too. They take each other in, trying to get their breath back, Alec hovering over him.
‘Are you alright?’
Magnus nods, turning his head to kiss Alec’s palm, and the moment settles.
After they clean up, they settle in bed together. Ankle curled around Alec’s, Magnus watches Alec put on one of his rings. Neither of them speak. Neither of them need to.
They always find their way back to each other.