When he was 13 years old, he thought about what would it be like to have a normal life with a better childhood.
He thought about what would it be like to play with his brother again, just like he used to three years ago.
Even with his illness and flaws, what would it be like to feel a warm embrace just like the one was given to him by his family before.
His past always chased after him, no matter how hard he tried to get rid of his nightmares, scars and memories, somewhere inside him still wanted to keep them. Just to not forget about his anger to the ones who took his life away from him. His past was indeed tragic, but after one point, that didn't matter. He was the head of the Phantomhive manor and he had to stay strong, for his sake, for the sake of his name.
And there he was, thinking about his past, trying to understand who and what he became.
- flashback -
"Come here, boys. There is something I want to tell you." His father, Vincent Phantomhive called for the twins, pointing out the seats in the middle of the room, watched as they both sat, ready to listen to their father with wide eyes full of curiosity. "I want you to listen to what I'll say carefully, because once you grow up, you'll be able to understand." He took a deep breath before starting. "In this universe, everyone has a soulmate. A soulmate is irreplaceable. They can find your soul in our universe even if you're light years away and in another lifeform. When you turn sixteen, your soulmate's name will show up on your ankle. Your mother and I found each other this way, we were soulmates from the start."
This conversation was from their 8th birthday and ever since that day, the boy couldn't stop himself from wondering, if he had a soulmate too.
- 3 years later -
His birthday always reminded him of his cruel past, it gave him nothing but pain and sorrow. After that incident, he never really celebrated his birthday. That year, it wasn't any different. All of his servants almost begged him to at least let him have a birthday cake but he quickly refused all the suggestions.
The butler tucked his small master into bed, placing the eyepatch on the table. "May I ask, have your soulmate showed up yet, my lord?" He asked in curiosity, the boy shook his head. "Not yet, I doubt it will." The younger male mumbled, but gave his butler a questioning look as he heard him chuckle softly.
"Of course it will, this universe grants every soul a twin, and no matter where they are or how far away they are from each other, even if they are in different dimensios, they will always find another." He explained while smiling, didn't wait for a response and grabbed the candelabra he just put next to his master's bed. "Good night, young master." He said as usual, blowing out the candelabra as he left the room quietly to do his daily housework.
The boy watched silently as the butler walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He tried to sleep but it was impossible to do such a thing since it was his 16th birthday and he was finally geting to know his soulmate's name.
- flashback -
"Hey, Lizzy! I wonder who our soulmates will be!" Younger brother eavesdropped as his older brother Ciel and his cousin, Elizabeth talked cheerfully.
"I really hope mine will be you, Ciel! I would want nobody else than you!" Lizzy said, a big smile on her face.
"I hope we match together, I want to spend rest of my life with you! If we matxh as soulmates, then nothing will be able to separate us!" Ciel said, grabbing the blonde girl's hand as they played happily in their garden.
'I hope they get to match together' younger brother thought.
'I don't think I'll ever be able to have a soulmate, after all.'
The blunette shook his head, avoiding all the memories floated in his head. 'It was seven years ago.' he thought. A soft, sorrowful sight escaped from his lips, feeling more and more uncomfortable as all of his attempts to sleep were pointless, he simply couldn't fall asleep.
His face turned to see the clock on the wall but it was too dark for him to see the time. 'Damn it,' he thought.
He slowly sat up on his bed, pulling his right ankle close to himself to see if anything has appeared, but as he could see, there was nothing.
'Maybe I was right, I will never get to have a soulmate.'
The boy opened his eyes with the voice of his butler. "Young master, It's time to wake up." He groaned in annoyance, burying his head into the pillow, hoping to sleep a little bit more. But there was no use, his butler was quite stubborn about waking his master up on time.
He sat on his bed, taking a sip from the tea that was handed him seconds ago. 'When did I fall asleep?' His white blanket was still covering his small body, only his arms and shoulders were out of it and since it was december 15, he was cold compared to the hot tea he was drinking.
"Can not you let me sleep a little more?" He protested, not happy with his butler doing everything to make him get out of bed. "I couldn't sleep last night."
Sebastian smiled and remained silent, knowing that the boy took this as a certain refuse. He was about to inform him about his schedule but a loud crash coming from the downstairs followed by cries, cut him off.
"I apologize, my lord. It seems like the servants managed to do something unnecessary again." He said, bowing respectfully as he left the room.
The Earl always appreciated the demon. His respectful posture, the way he protects the boy no matter what circumstances they're in, staying by him when no one else wouldn't.
He couldn't get to admit himself that he grew quite fond of his butler.
He sighed, but suddenly remembered the reason of his nervousness, his soulmate.
Even if he knew he'd be getting no one, he felt the urge of looking at his ankle.
'Why am I even trying anyway, my time on Earth is limited and I'm currently bound to a demon from hell, I probably do not have the features to be worthy for a soulmate.'
But suddenly, he felt his right ankle itch.
The blunette pulled his blanket off, just to reveal the name with a cursive handwriting on his ankle.
He gasped in surprise, shook his head and focused on the tattoo. His hands rubbed his eyes first and then his temples, waiting for the name to fade away.
'I must be dreaming' the boy murmured to himself but quickly picked himself up as he heard the knock from the door.
"Young master, may I come in?" His butler's voice came from the door, making the still shocked boy shudder in suddenness.
"Come in." He gave his all to not to stutter. He was good at acting, not only for his cases as a guard dog, he was acting since he came back to the manor with the title of Ciel Phantomhive, head of the Phantomhive manor.
But his acting was not working when it was about him and Sebastian.
The butler opened the door, bowing his head. "I'm terribly sorry for the wait, I had to fix the mess the three caused moments ago." He explained, the Earl's clothes in his one hand.
The younger male swallowed, avoiding to look at his butler directly. "Sebastian, give me my clothes and leave. I'd like to change myself today." He ordered, caught the surprised look on the demon's face.
And there was another thing.
His lips parted for a second at the sight of his butler to have a humanlike expression, but he recovered as Sebastian talked.
"Is there a specific reason for the young master to give such an order?" He asked, his voice almost sad.
"No. I just want to do it on my own. You may leave now." He said as he turned away to hand the clothes from his butler, but luck wasn't by his side. He ended up falling from his bed, but obviously Sebastian caught him right before hitting the ground.
Realization hit him hard as his eyes stared at his ankle. His now exposed ankle. The name was still there, and he noticed that Sebastian was staring at it too.
He was about to make an excuse about it but Sebastian made him sit on his king sized bed, looking at him with eyes wide open, his gloved hands on his master's shoulders.
"Young master, why didn't you tell this to me before?" He sounded disappointed, making the younger male look away in embarrassment.
He chose to not answer his butler's question but shivered as he felt Sebastian's hand on his ankle, gently rubbing the name.
"Sebastian..." He whispered the man's name, couldn't find strength in himself to say another word.
His thoughts were cut off with the feeling of Sebastian's arms wrapping around his small frame, pulling him close. The younger male's eyes widened in shock.
"You said you didn't sleep well, my lord. Were you nervous about your soulmate?" His voice was calming that the boy could fall asleep if he wasn't that embarrassed.
"I was. I thought I didn't deserve one, actually." He couldn't believe how weak his voice was when he tried to talk, he felt like a 9 year old kid in his butler's arms.
"Are you satisfied with the results, then?" The demon chuckled, noticing the dark blush on his master's cheeks.
The blunette talked as he buried his face on the demon's chest to hide his flushed face. "This is none of your business. I want to sleep. Now."
Sebastian's smile turned into a grin. "...And?"
"...and you're going to sleep with me too, idiot."