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Without you I'd be miserable at best

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Lexa woke up in a strange but not unwelcome mood. Today was her first day as an art teacher at Arkadia High, and she could feel the nerves. She usually wasn't the type of person to be nervous about this stuff, but she had a feeling that people would look at her differently because of her age. 

 

Lexa was twenty three years old and a freshly graduated art teacher from Polis University, the youngest in her class. As a kid she soon learned that she were just a little bit faster at learning things than her other classmates. When she got up to middle school she surprised all of her teachers by learning the curriculum for the whole year in the first two months, resulting in her skipping a grade.

 

She rolled around in her bed for a bit before she finally got up, stretching her arms out to wake up a little more. She grabbed the clothes she had laid nicely folded on her drawer the night before and went to her bathroom. She turned on some music before jumping in the shower. 

 

About thirty minutes later she was dressed and ready for the day. She wore a black skirt that stopped a little below her mid thighs, a white blouse with a black suit jacket over, and some black heels. She chose to leave her hair down, her soft curls splaying down her shoulders. 

 

She opted for some avocado toast and orange juice for breakfast before she left for her first day of work. 

 

 

 

Beep… Beep… Beep…!

 

Clarke groaned as she snoozed the alarm for the umpteenth time this morning. She turned her head to look at the clock and.. Fuck! She overslept! The clock showed 7.45 am, which meant that the blonde only had five minutes to get ready for school. Of course it was just her luck to oversleep for the first day of school. She jumped out of bed and grabbed the first things she saw in her closet.

 

Luckily for the blonde she had showered the day before and slept with her hair braided. Clarke casted a quick glance at herself in the mirror and figured that this will have to do. She hurriedly put on some mascara before she ran down the stairs. As she got into the kitchen she noticed a post it note on the counter and went over to read it. 

 

I´m sorry I wasn’t there to wake you sweetheart, I had to leave early for a shift at the hospital. Marcus rode with me for work today, he figured that maybe you´d want to drive yourself. Have a nice day at school. Love you!

Mom

 

Clarke hurriedly read the note before she put on her dads watch. Marcus was her mothers new husband, and also the english teacher at her school. They had gotten married during summer after being engaged for almost a year and a half. Her father, Jake Griffin, sadly died in a construction accident at work during the blonde´s freshman year, leaving her heart broken for quite sometime. Even though the pain of losing him will never fade, she has now learned to live with it, and often finds herself visiting her father´s grave when things get a little too much for her. 

 

She grabbed her car keys and got jumped into her brand new white Rover, driving off to school. 

 

 

Clarke hurriedly stumbled through the door to homeroom and spotted Raven and the rest of her gang at the back. Just as she sat down and got her schedule the bell rang, signaling that it was time for their first class this year. The blonde glanced down at her schedule and groaned internally as she saw that her first class was English Lit. 

 

«Hey, what took you so long this morning?» Raven whispered as Marcus went through something on the board. 

 

«I overslept» The blonde shrugged as she looked down at the paper she was doodling on.

 

«Haha, Classic Griffin style every year» Octavia silently laughed and the action made some of the other students look at them. 

 

«What are you girls talking about?» Kane asked with a raised eyebrow. He knew that most of his class wasn't really paying attention, but since it was their first day he would let it pass. 

 

«Nothing, Mr. Kane» Raven replied with a sheepish smile.

 

 

Clarke survived the first three classes, which was a good sign. She also noticed that there was a few new teachers among the staff too. They had for instance got a new teacher in biology since Mr. Pike got fired for openly harassing a student before the summer vacation. She didn’t really catch the new teacher´s name though, Nina or Niylah or something. 

 

She and Raven were currently making their way to the cafeteria, talking about nothing and everything when they bumped into someone, making the person drop some papers. 

 

«Shit I´m so sorry» Clarke said as she bent down to help the girl pick up the papers. As she handed the papers over and looked at the girl in front of her she suddenly forgot how to breathe. 

 

«It is quite alright, thank you Miss..?» The brunette beauty said waiting for Clarke to introduce herself. 

 

«Oh, Griffin, Clarke Griffin» The blonde said with a blush. 

 

«Hello Clarke, I´m Lexa Woods, I´m the new art teacher» The woman said sweetly back at her, and Clarke´s jaw dropped slightly. This woman looks way to young to be a teacher. Clarke thought to herself. «And you are?» Miss.Woods said gesturing to Raven. 

 

«Raven, Raven Reyes» The Latina smirked as she shook the other brunette´s hand. 

 

«Well it was nice meeting you, if you´ll excuse me, I have to get these papers to Principal Indra» Lexa smiled at them before she took off down the hallway. 

 

«Damn» Raven whispered under her breath as the woman walked away from them. 

 

«Oh fuck me» Clarke said too as she looked at the woman until she disappeared around a corner. 

 

 

 

They met the rest of their gang in the cafeteria, catching up and telling each other about how their first classes went. «So Princess, are you coming to the party on friday?» Murphy asked as he turned to look at her. 

 

«I don´t know» Clarke answered with a frown between her brows. 

 

«Come on Griff, do it for me… Your sister from another mister, your partner in crime, The rock in your li…» Raven started saying batting her eyelashes at her friend. 

 

«Okay, yeah, why not» Clarke finally gave in. She knew that her mother didn’t like it when she went to parties, but she is eighteen, she´s old enough to make her own decisions. 

 

«Yay! Now we just have to survive the rest of the day!» Raven cheered, making the blonde chuckle slightly. 

 

 

Clarke paced slightly outside the door to the art room. She was a few minutes early and contemplated if she should walk through the door or not. In the end, she decided to enter the room. As she walked in she noticed that there was only a few students inside. She went to sit at the back with Harper and took out her sketchbook. 

 

«Hey Griff, how was your summer?» Harper asked as she chewed on the back of her pen.

 

«It was okay. My mom and Kane got married, and other than that I didn´t really do much.» The blonde answered as she looked out in the classroom. 

 

«There is less and less students signing up for this class every year» Clarke sighed as she starts to sketch the piercing green eyes that has been on her mind since lunch. 

 

«Yeah, I know. It is a shame really» Harper agreed as she snapped a picture of the blonde to their group chat. The bell rang before Clarke had the time to protest, and the new art teacher walked through the doors. 

 

Clarke smirked as she saw the way Harper´s jaw dropped slightly at the sight of the woman. «There is no way in hell that she is old enough to be a teacher» Harper whispered under her breath, and Clarke had to agree. Before the teacher introduced herself to her and Raven earlier, she thought the woman was a new student from a private school or something. 

 

«Good afternoon Class. My name is Lexa Woods and I am your new art teacher» She smiled brightly at them as she introduced herself. In her hand, she held the class list with the names of her students and she decided to start her lesson with getting to know her students names. When she got through the last name, she went to hang it up on the board before walking to the front of the class. 

 

«Okay, so I thought we should start this year by doing something funny. I want each and everyone of you to come up with something that represents yourselves in one way or another. It can be a sculpture, a panting, a drawing, a collection of different things, anything really» She smiled at them as she clasped her hands together. «The only criteria I have is that you give reason for why this thing represents you in some way. Do you have any questions?» She finished, and some of the students raised their hands to ask what they were and weren't allowed to do. 

 

«So what are you going to make?» Harper nudged the blondes shoulder with her own. 

 

«I have no idea. I was thinking maybe a series of paintings, or maybe some pictures done in different styles» Clarke shrugged as she continued to sketch the eyes that occupied her thoughts. She noticed that the teacher was making her way through the students, scribbling down their ideas on a piece of paper to keep control on what each student were going to do. 

 

 

 

 

Lexa took down notes beside the students names to keep track on what everyone was going to do. She purposely avoided going over to where Clarke sat, because she couldn't get the blondes smile off her mind. Ever since she bumped into her earlier today, she has had this weird feeling in her stomach. However, she also knew she couldn't avoid them forever. She slowly made her way over to Clarke and Harper to see if they needed any help. 

 

«Hey girls, do you have any ideas?» She asked them as she approached. She noticed how the blue eyed blonde jerked her sketchbook closed and raised an eyebrow at the action. 

 

«Yeah, when you say we have to make something that represent us, what can it be? like a color, myself, my cat, my hobbies etc?» Harper asked with furrowed brows, struggling to grasp this task. 

 

«You are pretty much free to do whatever you want, as long as you give reason for it» Lexa smiled at the girl. She knew that these kinds of tasks could be a bit hard for someone, but next year these students were going to college where they really have to show what they are good for. She just wants to prepare them as best as she can. 

 

The teacher looked over at Clarke who were just staring at her desk. «What about you, Clarke? Do you have an idea?» Lexa asked as she bent down so their eyes were on the same level. 

 

«Yeah, I - I uh think so» The blonde said a bit shyly, suddenly feeling a bit insecure under the brunettes gaze. 

 

«Great, would you like to enlighten me on what you´re thinking?» The teacher smiled softly at her. She didn't want to pressure the girl to tell her.

 

«I was thinking that maybe I could make a series of paintings or pictures in different styles, a mixture of my hobbies, stuff I like, my thoughts and stuff» Clarke tried to explain, but her idea just seemed stupid when she said it out loud to her teacher. You see, Clarke was never good with formulating her ideas into words. She was more of an improvisor, only able to show her ideas on a canvas. 

 

«That´s a great idea, would you mind showing me some of your sketches? I saw your sketchbook earlier» Lexa asked in a gentle voice. 

 

«Yeah, of course» Clarke said before handing her sketchbook over. Lexa skimmed through the pages. Every page had a new sketch, everything from animals, to landscapes, to portraits of people… Her hand stopped on one of the most recent pages. She stifled a gasp as she looked at something that looked very much like her own eyes. 

 

«Clarke?» Lexa asked, and Clarke´s heart sped up when she noticed the page the teacher had stopped on. 

«I uh - that´s not finished yet» She mumbled as she felt her face heat up. She could see the confused look on her teachers face, and she silently hoped she didn't overstep by drawing her eyes. 

 

«This is beautiful, the way you capture the light is, wow, it´s amazing actually» The teacher complimented as she looked at the drawing in awe. Clarke couldn't help but smile at the look of adoration that flashed over the teachers face.  

 

At the end of the class, Lexa scribbled down the names of the students that didn't come up with an idea during this lesson and gave them till Thursday to find out what they were going to do.  «Okay, thank you for today, I hope you have a safe trip home» The teacher said as she let her students go a few minutes early. 

 

«Clarke, what are you still doing here?» Lexa asked as she turned around to find the blonde still in her seat. 

 

«I uh, I wanted - I thought you should have this» Clarke said as she stood up and handed her drawing over to the teacher. Lexa took in a breath, she really shouldn't accept this from the blonde. It wasn't illegal to accept gifts from students, but it didn't happen very often. 

 

«Clarke I can´t accept this, this is your drawing» She tried to protest, but Clarke just shook her head. «I want you to have it» The blonde smiled at her. «I mean, it is your eyes anyway, and I just. No one has ever looked at my drawings the way you did today, and I… I want you to have it.» 

 

Lexa still wanted to protest, but something in her eyes made her take the drawing when her student handed it over. «Thank you, Clarke» The teacher said, clicking the «k», and God, Clarke loves the way this woman says her name. She know that she is stepping in to dangerous territory, but she didn't have it in her to care. 

 

«Have a nice evening» The blonde said as she turned to walk out the door. 

 

«Thank you, have a nice evening as well» Lexa said before the door closed behind the girl. When she sat down behind her desk, she noticed how rapid her heartbeat was. No, This was not good. Lexa thought to herself.

 

The first thing Clarke noticed when she walked out of the classroom, was how fast her heart was beating. She also felt pretty happy with herself for having the courage to do something so bold for once. She also knew that, Yep, Clarke Elizabeth Griffin had a crush on her teacher.

 

 

She was so going to hell for this later. 

Chapter Text

Thursday came and Clarke was proud to say that she had survived the first three days of high school as a senior. Monday was a pretty chill day for them all, but on Tuesday, on Tuesday all hell broke loose. The blonde felt like she was drowning already, they had gotten homework in math, biology and english lit due to Monday next week again. That´s why she looked forward to art class. In art class she could lean back a little, because art was something she was actually good at. 

 

Clarke walked into the art room and sat down at her usual spot in the back. She noticed Miss Woods sitting at her desk, looking out at the students. As the teacher looked through the little crowd of students their eyes met for a split second, and Clarke´s heart rate sped up a little. The blonde sent her a quick smile before she averted her eyes, looking at the door as Harper walked through it. Just as Harper sat down, the bell rang. 

 

Lexa stood up from her desk and walked to the front of the class. «Okay, I hope everyone have an idea on what to do for their project since this was homework for today». she said in a gentle but firm voice. The teacher walked up to every student and asked about their ideas, seeing if she could help them get started. 

 

 

«So you have any idea what you´re gonna do?» Clarke whispered to Harper as the girl rummaged through her backpack. «Yeah, I think I´ll just paint my cat» The girl shrugged and Clarke chuckled. She could see the teacher walk towards them out of the corner of her eye, and smiled to herself. She hadn't seen the brunette since Monday, and her heart skipped a beat when their eyes met. 

 

«Hello girls, need any help?» The teacher asked gently as she stood in front of them. «Nah, I’m fine» Harper shrugged and Lexa raised a brow, not believing her. She turned her attention towards Clarke, and the blonde was looking right back at her. «What about you, Clarke? Need any help?» She asked the blonde, and Clarke just shook her head no. She had an idea, and she knew exactly what to do.

 

«Okay, well don’t be afraid to ask for help» Lexa smiled sweetly at them before continuing her round. Clarke looked at her as she walked to the next table. Every student got to work, and Lexa watched them from her desk. They all looked very concentrated, well, everyone except Clarke. She had caught the girl staring at her numerous times now, and it made her feel things she shouldn’t.

 

 

The bell rang, signaling that the lesson was over, and everyone got up and started to walk through the door. 

 

«Miss Griffin? May I have a word please?» Lexa asked as the blonde was about to walk out. 

 

«Ooo, someone is in trouble» Harper teased as she wiggled her brows at her friend. Clarke just ignored her and walked towards the teacher, closing the door behind her. 

 

Clarke stood still, looking at her teacher for a moment. «What is it?» She asked when her teacher did’t say anything. 

 

«I couldn’t help but notice that you looked a little distracted during my lesson, is everything okay?» Lexa asked a little concerned. Well besides the fact that I have a crush on my teacher, I’d say I’m pretty good. The blonde thought to herself. 

 

«Yeah, everything is fine, I just have one of those off days» Clarke said, shrugging her shoulders. 

 

«Oh okay» Lexa said. She wanted to say something more, but she didn’t really have a reason to keep the blonde here any longer. «Well that was everything» She smiled politely at the girl, and Clarke frowned for a second. She shrugged off her backpack and took out her sketchbook. She flipped through the pages and stopped to rip one out. 

 

«This might be weird, but I got bored during biology class and just started sketching something. I - I think you should have it» She said as she handed the paper over. She watched as the teachers eyes widened for a bit, taking in the emotions floating through the teachers eyes, surprise, wonder, confusion, anger? Shit did she go to far?

 

Lexa looked down at the drawing. She was surprised to say the least and she found herself wondering why this girl made her feel the way she did. She traced the lines with her fingers, the way the blonde drew her was amazing. She was really talented, but Lexa knew she had to put a stop to this. 

 

«Clarke, I- I can’t accept this. I am your teacher, you should not be drawing me, no matter how beautiful this drawing is I, I can't accept it» Lexa said, not really sure what else to say. 

 

«Why not?» Clarke asked. She knew that this was wrong, but she couldn’t help but feel like Lexa was different from everyone else, and she wanted to see how far her teacher would push the boundaries. 

 

«Because, I- this isn’t right..» She said and Clarke understood. She really did. She couldn't really explain why, but the way Lexa refused to accept it kind of hurt. 

 

«Why isn't it right?» Clarke asked as she took a few steps towards her teacher. They were almost face to face now, and Clarke wanted her walls to break. 

 

«Because it just isn’t. I don’t know what is going on in your head now, but whatever you are thinking just stop okay?» Lexa said, and Clarke took a step back. Gathering herself. She looked down at her feet for a second and then back up into green eyes. «Okay…» She whispered as she grabbed her backpack and turned to leave. 

 

 

As the blonde left her classroom, Lexa let out a sigh of relief. She still had the drawing in her hand and contemplated to keep it for a second, but then she shook that thought out of her head. She crumbled the paper and threw it towards the trashcan as she walked out the door. She didn't notice that she missed it.

 

 

 

Clarke sat in the tutor center. She knew she should've just kept the drawing to herself, but a part of her wanted to see the brunettes smile again. She shook her head and went back to helping the boy in front of her, but her mind kept wandering away. She told the boy that they could finish a bit early today, and he smiled at her before he left. 

 

Clarke knew she should probably go apologize to her teacher for her behavior earlier. She knew that it isn't normal for people to draw their teachers, not here anyways. With determination she walked through the school halls and towards the art room. She knocked gently, but got no answer. Without thinking she opened the door and walked inside, noticing that the teacher wasn't there.

 

She sighed and decided to leave a note for the teacher to read instead. She knew that Lexa had a class her first lesson tomorrow, and figured why not. 

 

Miss Woods. 

 

Sorry for my inappropriate behavior earlier.

 

  • C.G

 

She folded it once and put it on the desk before she turned to leave. As she walked to the door, she noticed a crumbled piece of paper near the trashcan, and she cursed the idiot that was to lazy to pick it up. 

 

Clarke picked it up, and as the curious girl she was, she carefully opened it. She gasped a little when she noticed that it was her drawing. She didn't expect that the teacher would keep it, but finding it crumbled near the trash kind of stung a little. She decided to take the drawing before she left the room, driving back home. 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday came and went and Clarke found herself at Murphy’s party. She arrived with Raven, but the Latina disappeared five minutes after they got there. To be fair though there was a lot of people crowding the place, and Raven probably found Kyle somewhere among the people. 

 

«Hey Princess, you want a drink?» Murphy slurred as he sat down next to her, offering his cup.

 

«No, I´m good, thanks» she smiled at him, but the boy handed her the cup anyways. He had clearly been drinking, and he smelled of smoke and booze.

 

«You gonna come watch Finn jump from the house to the pool?» He laughed as he stumbled over his words. 

 

«Isn´t that a bit dangerous, not that I care since Finn is a douche.» Clarke said as Murphy began walking through the crowd. 

 

«No, It will be fun!» He yelled over the music.

 

Clarke followed him outside and took a sip of her cup and started coughing. «Ugh, what the fuck. Is this moonshine?». She asked the boy and he just smirked. 

 

«Collins, Collins Collins!» a group of people chanted the boy´s last name as he stood on top of the roof.  The distance from the house to the pool was almost three meters, so it wouldn't surprise the blonde if he missed. As Finn got ready to jump she could see this go horribly wrong, but she didn't have it in her to care. That bastard cheated on Raven with her, so he deserved to feel some pain. 

 

They all gaped as he leapt of the roof, it almost looked like he could make it, but then gravity happened and he missed it with almost a meter. They all winced when he crashed into the ground. 

 

«Clarke Elizabeth Griffin with alcohol! This is a rare sight, but appreciated sight» Clarke laughed as she turned to find a very drunk Harper McIntyre. She also spotted Raven who came walking over to them. 

 

«Not a word… Where the hell have you been?» Clarke cut her off before she could comment on the drink in her hand. «Did you even see your douche of an ex jump of the roof?!»

 

«Haha, Yeah, I saw that. Bastard had it coming» The Latina laughed hysterically. «NOW! lets see how drunk we can get you!» Raven shouted and lifted her friend up. 

 

Clarke felt herself smiling as the party went on. People were dancing and talking together everywhere, and a mix of the alcohol she had consumed and the weed in the air made her feel happier than she had for a while now.

 

 

Lexa was driving around. It was almost 1 am, and she had just dropped of her cousin after a night of partying. She drove aimlessly around, not feeling like going home yet. She took a sip of her coffee to make herself feel more awake. 

 

After driving around for about twenty minutes she finally decided that she should probably head home. As she drove past one of the bus stops she noticed a familiar face, sleeping on one of the benches. She immediately hit the breaks and stopped her car. 

 

«Clarke? Hey, Clarke?» She said as she tried to wake the girl. She reeked of alcohol, and looked disheveled. 

 

«Miss Woods? what are you doing in my bed? am I high or something?» The blonde slurred as she looked at Lexa. 

 

«No, you´re on bench at one of the bus stops» She chuckled at the girl. 

 

«What are you doing here?» Clarke asked, tripping slightly over her words. 

 

«I just dropped my cousin off at her home, the better question is what are you doing here?» She asked the girl, quirking a perfectly shaped eyebrow. 

 

«I dunno, I was supposed to go home with my friend, but she´s not here» Clarke slurred, stretching a bit to wake up more. 

 

«Let me get you home, you shouldn't be sleeping out here at night» Lexa said as she helped her to stand up. «Where do you live?» She asked the girl as she helped her into the car, buckling her up.

 

«I can´t go home, my mother would kill me» Clarke said horrified.

 

«Okay, uh, do you know your friend´s address? I can take you there» Lexa tried again, but didn´t receive any answer. She turned her head to look over at the girl and sighed. Clarke was fast asleep again. 

 

She was probably going to hell for this, but she took the girl to her place. She changed the bed sheets and decided to let the girl sleep in her clothes, not wanting her to think that she took advantage of her in the morning. She carefully laid her down on the bed and tucked her in, leaving a glass of water and some Advil. She grabbed a blanket and a pillow and went to the living room to sleep on the couch. 

 

 

 

 

Clarke woke up with a killer headache. She rolled around in the bed, then she noticed that this wasn't her bed, and this wasn't Ravens house. Where the hell was she? What the fuck did she do last night? She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and noticed the water and Advil. She took it and gulped it down before opening her phone. 

 

Ravenclaw: Clarke, where the hell are you?

 

Ravenclaw: Clarke where the hell did you go last night. I covered for you when your mom called me because she couldn't reach you. I told her we were going shopping. text me back when you see this. 

 

She read through the messages and noticed the thirteen missed calls from her mother. She groaned internally as she sat up straight. She still had the clothes from the day before, well that´s a good sign. 

 

She got up and walked over to the door. She opened it slowly and stood face to face with her art teacher. 

 

«Miss Woods!» she shrieked and jumped back, making the other woman lose the tray she was holding in her hands. 

 

«Shit! I´m sorry!» Clarke hurriedly apologized as she bent down to help her clean up the mess. 

 

«It´s alright Clarke» She smiled sweetly at her. 

 

«If you don´t mind me asking, what am I doing here?» She asked, a little confused. What the hell did she do last night. 

 

«You don´t remember?» Lexa asked and looked at her. Clarke just shook her head no. 

 

«I found you at a bench at one of the bus stops. I was driving home after dropping off my cousin and I spotted you there. I asked you where you lived and then you told me that your mother would kill you if I brought you home, and the I asked for your friend´s address, but you were fast asleep so I panicked and took you to my place» She explained and Clarke started laughing. 

 

«What is so funny about that?» Now Lexa was the one who was confused. 

 

«I´m sorry, it´s not funny, it is very sweet actually. Thank you for taking care of me» She smiled at the other woman and stood up. 

 

«It´s no problem. I figured I would make you some breakfast before I´ll drive you home» The brunette said, gesturing to the mess on the floor, making Clarke chuckle. Lexa stood up too, looking Clarke dead in the eye. The blonde girl has the most captivating eyes she has ever seen. 

 

«I, uh, I´ll make you something new before I drive you home» Lexa said and stepped out of the room. 

 

As Lexa made new food in the kitchen, Clarke couldn't help but wander around in the apartment, looking at the pictures on the walls. She sent a quick text to Raven telling her where she was, that she was fine, and that she´ll explain everything once she got to her place. She wasn't sure how much time had passed when she heard Lexa call for her. 

 

«Clarke, the food is ready» Lexa said sticking her head out of the kitchen. Clarke walked over to her and joined at the kitchen table. 

 

«I didn´t know what you like, so I made pancakes» The brunette said. My God. Clarke thought to herself, Lexa looks even more beautiful and carefree without make up. 

 

«What?» Lexa said as she noticed the blonde staring at her. 

 

«Nothing, you´re just very beautiful» Clarke answered, forgetting that she was talking to her teacher. When she realized what she said she blushed furiously, and tried to hide her face. This is her teacher, she´s not supposed to say stuff like that to her teacher. 

 

«I- uh, thank you, Clarke» Lexa said, suddenly feeling self conscious where she was sitting. 

 

«Shit, I made this weird now» Clarke said, making Lexa chuckle, because yes, this was a little weird, but at the same time it felt right too. 

 

«Did you find my note?» The blonde asked after a while, and Lexa nodded. She did find the note. 

 

«I’m sorry» Clarke whispered, not knowing what else to say. Lexa just nodded at her before eating her food again.

 

They ate their food in silence, and Lexa drove the blonde to Raven´s place when they finished eating. Lexa told her goodbye while they were still in the car, not wanting to draw suspicion to them, before she drove home again.

 

On the ride home, Lexa decided, as she has thought so many times already, that she needed to put a stop to this. She couldn't  fall for her student. She wouldn't do that. 

Chapter Text

 

«Okay Griffin! you have some explaining to do!» was the first thing Raven said when Clarke stepped through the door. The Latina looked her friend up and down, noticing that the girl was wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

 

«Okay Griff, jump in the shower and borrow some of my clothes, we´re going shopping and you´re gonna tell me E V E R Y T H I N G» Raven said annunciating every letter before she took a sip of her water bottle.

 

«Ugh, Raven I have the worst hangover, can we please just skip the mall and send O and Harper there to buy something for us instead?» Clarke groaned as she rubbed her temples. 

 

«Okay fine, but you’re telling me everything» Raven grumbled before throwing some clothes at the blonde. 

 

 

Half an hour later they found themselves on the couch in the living room, watching some documentary about spaceships. 

 

«So, you gonna tell me how and why you ended up in bed with Miss hot stuff?» Raven asked wiggling her eyebrows.

 

«Okay, first of all, she didn't sleep with me, she took the couch. Secondly, you left me, leaving me no choice but to wander down the street to your house. I passed out about two blocks from your house anyways. She found me at the bus stop and took me to her place» Clarke shrugged. Nothing happened between them, except for some secret glances now and then during breakfast. 

 

«Hey, I thought you were right behind me when I got in that cab!» Raven said and put her hands up in surrender. «why was she walking outside at midnight anyways?»

 

«She wasn't walking, she drove her cousin home from a party, and then she found me.» Clarke said as she fiddled with her fingers. 

 

«Well, how was it? Waking up in your hot teachers bed» Raven smirked, wiggling her eyebrows. 

 

«I mean, she wasn't there when I woke up so I was just confused. I thought I was at your place, but then the bed felt strangely more comfortable and bigger than yours and the smell was different. It was a bit awkward once I found out where I was though. She was going to wake me up with some breakfast but I opened the door and scared her, making her lose her tray-»

 

«HAHAH!! You what?! Was she mad?» Raven laughed uncontrollably at her, clutching her stomach as she rolled around. 

 

«Hey! It’s not funny! And she wasn't mad, she actually made me something new» Clarke pouted at her friend. Hitting her playfully when she wouldn't stop laughing. 

 

«Okay, Okay… Come on Raven, it’s not that funny…» Clarke said after about five minutes with the Latina laughing at her. 

 

«N..» cough «Not that funny?» Raven wheezed as she started another fit of coughing and laughing. 

 

«Yeah yeah, just laugh it off» Clarke grumbled as she picked up her phone. 

 

 

It took twenty minutes before the girl stopped laughing. She didn't stop until Clarke left the couch and threatened to go home. 

 

«Okay, in all seriousness though, did she treat you well? Or do I have to make her go boom» Raven asked curiously. 

 

«She was a gentlewoman, Rae. Nothing to worry about» Clarke smiled at her sincerely and the brunette just nodded. Nothing needed to be said, as long as her friend got treated right she was okay with it. 

 

«Speaking of last night, I met someone» Raven started to explain and Clarke raised a curious brow at her, urging her to go on.  «Her name is Anya, she is a freshman at Ark university, and she is studying business» The Latina said with a big smile on her face. Clarke liked this girl already if she could get her best friend to smile like that. 

 

«Why didn't you bring her here? did you get her number?» Clarke asked her, wanting to know more about her. 

 

«Well her cousin picked her up and-» Raven started to say but Clarke cut her off. 

 

«Her cousin?! Rae, what is her last name?» Clarke asked with wide eyes. Is this girl Lexa’s cousin?

 

«Forrest, her name is Anya Forrest» Raven said and Clarke was quick to search for on Facebook. She skimmed through the girl’s contact information and yup, this was Lexa’s cousin. 

 

«Ho- ly, shit» Clarke whispered to herself. 

 

«What?» Raven asked, still not catching on. 

 

«Raven, the girl you met is Lexa’s cousin.» Clarke breathed out and Raven just stared at her with furrowed brows. 

 

«Lexa? Who the fuck is… *gasp* NO! Fucking way! Miss Woods’s cousin?!» The Latina exclaimed as it dawned on her. «I thought there was something familiar about her» She said in wonder. 

 

Clarke silently clicked on Lexa’s profile, feeling like a stalker. «Shit» she muttered when she noticed that you had to be her friend to see her all of her information. 

 

«What?» Raven asked as she leaned over to see what the blonde was doing. As she saw the page, she quickly snatched the phone out of the blondes hand, jumping up from the couch. 

 

«Hey! give it back, Rae!» Clarke nearly shouted at her friend. Then she saw the wicked expression on her friends face and she paled. «No.. no, Raveeeen, Please, just give it ba…» Clarke pleaded, but before she could finish the last word her friend already pushed the «Add friend» button. 

 

«Woops..» Raven shrugged before dropping the phone and running for her life. 

 

«Raven Reyes! You little piece of shit! Get back here you traitor!» Clarke screamed as she chased her friend around the house. Raven managed to lock herself into the bathroom, and Clarke stood there banging on the door for half an hour before Raven finally got the balls to face her destiny. 

 

The Latina carefully twisted the key and unlocked the door. «Please don't kill me» was the first thing she said as she took a step towards her friend. Clarke just playfully glared at her friend, silently enjoying how terrified she seemed. 

 

«I’m not gonna kill you, Rae» Clarke laughed as she approached her friend. When she got close enough she tackled the girl to the ground and started tickling her.

 

«Clarke! hhaha! Griff-griffin! Stop! Pl-please!» Raven screamed with laughter and tried to wiggle out of the blondes hold on her to no avail. Clarke tickled her mercilessly, not stopping until the other girl struggled to breathe. 

 

 

After about two minutes they calmed down and just laid on the floor, staring up at the roof. 

 

«You’re welcome by the way» Raven broke the silence and Clarke playfully slapped her. 

 

«Ugh, she probably thinks that I’m a stalker now. Fuck.. she probably wont accept it either» Clarke sighed as she ran her hands down her face. 

 

«Weeell. I wouldn't be so sure about that» Raven smirked and gestured towards her phone. Clarke followed the Latinas gaze to her phone screen and oh…

 

Lexa Woods accepted your friend request. 

 

 

 

 

Lexa had a pretty lazy day. After she dropped the blonde off at Ravens place, she kept telling herself that she needed to put a stop to whatever she was feeling towards the blonde. When she got home she took a shower, because god she really needed that. The outfit Clarke was wearing the day before did things to her southern regions. 

 

When Lexa was born everyone thought she was a boy. They dressed her like a boy, and treated her like a boy, until she one day asked them why they did it. Her parents looked at her with raised eyebrows and told her that that is what she is. This kept going on until Lexa insisted more and more that she was a girl. On her third birthday her parents took her to the doctors and that’s when they found out she was intersex. Her mother cried that day, not because she thought it was something bad, but because she felt like a horrible parent for not noticing it earlier. They changed her name on the birth certificate from Alexander to Alexandria, and Lexa for short.  

 

Lexa sighed as the cold water hit her body. She could feel the painful throbbing between her legs, and she cursed herself for it. Why was this happening to her? Why?. She bit her tongue as she washed her hair and her body, she was not going to disrespect her student by getting off in her shower to inappropriate images of her. 

 

She got out of the shower and went into the living room. She slumped down on her couch kicking her feet on the table. She texted her cousin to come over before she watched some documentary about sea creatures. 

About twenty minutes later Anya knocked at the door, walking into the apartment like she lived there to.

 

«Hey Lex» She shouted as she hanged her jacket. «What are you doing?» She asked her cousin before sitting down next to her. 

 

«I´m just watching a documentary» Lexa replied, her eyes glued to the Tv. 

 

«Ugh, boring» Anya huffed and bumped her shoulder. 

 

«Sooo….» Anya began, and Lexa raised an eyebrow encouraging her to continue. 

 

«I met this girl last night. Her name is Raven, and she is a senior in high school» She continued and Lexa frowned. Raven? That sounds familiar. She thought to herself as Anya continued to talk. «…She is like crazy smart, it is actually kind of scary. Oh! And I met her friend too. She was super waisted though, so she probably don´t remember meeting me…» Anya continued to speak and Lexa finally placed the name. Fuck! How could I forget! That’s Clarke’s friend. I dropped her off there earlier. 

 

«Does her friend happen to have blonde hair and very captivating blue eyes?» Lexa interrupted and Anya nodded. 

 

«Is her name Clarke Griffin?» Lexa asked again, just to be sure, and Anya nodded. «Shit…» Lexa muttered. Clarke was at the same party and she didn't notice her anywhere. She must have left at the same time as Anya, because she swore she saw a Latina girl get into a cab. 

 

«Do you know her?» Anya asked with raised brows, and Lexa nodded. 

 

«Yeah, I - I uh, met her last night. I found her black out drunk on a bench after I drove you home. She told me she couldn't go home and passed out again so I didn't get her friends address, so I took her here» Lexa explained, she kept out the part that she also is her student. 

 

«Oh! This is so cool. I mean I know there is an age gap between you, but how cool wouldn't it be if you started dating her and I started dating her friend?» Anya said jokingly, and Lexa spurted out the water she was just about to swallow, starting a fit of coughing. 

 

«Shit, Lexa are you okay?» Anya asked concerned, and Lexa just nodded her head. 

 

«Yeah, m’fine, I just, I - …» She struggled to find the words, afraid what her cousin would think. «Anya, I have to tell you something. And I need you to keep this a secret between you and I only. Okay?» Lexa said and Anya nodded her head. 

 

«Clarke, she uh-» Lexa started but Anya cut her off. «Oh my god, is she pregnant?!» Anya asked with raised brows. 

 

«No! God no.. she uh, she is my sjdsjfhk» Lexa mumbled. 

 

«I’m sorry but I didn’t quite catch that» Anya said.

 

«I said, she is my s- she is my student» Lexa sighed and Anya looked at her with an unreadable expression. 

 

«Please say something» Lexa said after what seemed like a few minutes of silence. 

 

«I uh.. Lexa you- she.. She is your student?» Anya asked dumbfounded, and Lexa just nodded her head. 

 

«Well I mean, technically that shit is illegal, but you know what? College has changed me as a person. If you think she could make you happy, then I say go for it. I’ll keep your secret» Anya said and Lexa’s jaw dropped. What the fuck happened? Had Anya been drinking?

 

Just as she was about to answer, her phone screen lit up, and she turned her head to look at it. Clarke Griffin sent you a friend request. Anya leaned over to look at the screen too and smiled mischievously. 

 

«You should add her» Anya said, and Lexa contemplated it for a second, but a voice in the back of her head told her not to. 

 

«I don’t know An, I just, what if my boss sees this?» She asked and looked to her cousin.

 

«So what? I know plenty students that are friends with their teachers, it doesn't have to mean anything» The younger girl said and smiled at her. 

 

«I don’t know An, I just-» Lexa started, but Anya cut her off again. 

 

«Okay, try to see this from her perspective. She is a senior, which means she is probably eighteen, aka she is sort of legal, an adult. Imagine her surprise when she found out that her new teacher is hot as fuck.  She has probably spent hours debating if she should send that or not Lex.. Do you really want to break that poor girls heart?» Anya said, making it sound more dramatic than it was. 

 

«I, I don’t know. Well, I guess being her friend wouldn't hurt» Lexa said as her thump hovered over the ‘accept’ button. After what seemed like hours, she finally caved and accepted the request.

 

 

 

 

————————-

 

 

Anya left a few hours prior and Lexa now found herself in bed. Just as she was about to turn off her light, her phone screen lit up. She carefully reached for it and her eyes widened slightly. 

 

 

Clarke Griffin: Hey :) I figured I should probably explain something. You see Raven, my friend, was talking about a girl she met at the party and I remembered you driving your cousin home from one. So we sort of figured out that she was your cousin. Anyway, Raven grabbed my phone and sent you a friend request. I’m sorry if I overstepped :(

 

Lexa smiled at the message, and tried to think of something to write back. Just as she was about to reply, three dots showed up.

 

Clarke Griffin: OH! and I’m not a stalker! 

 

Lexa just chuckled at that one. 

 

Lexa Woods: Hello, Clarke :) It’s quite alright actually. Maybe this will come in handy if you need help with your art project sometime

 

Lexa sent back, and cringed slightly. She wasn't used to texting her students, and though it felt wrong, it also felt kind of right. 

 

Clarke Griffin: Oh thank god! I was a bit worried :s Anyways, how was your day? did you do anything special? :)

 

The brunette read it, and wasn't really sure if she should keep responding or just go to sleep. She was probably going to hell anyways, so she figured a little texting wouldn't hurt that much. They kept sending each other messages until the clock turned 3.15 am and Lexa told Clarke to go to sleep for the fifth time. 

 

Lexa struggled to fall asleep after that. She stared at her sealing for some time, thinking about the blonde girl. Yup, she was screwed… She knew she had to put a stop to whatever she was doing with the blonde girl, but she didn’t know how. 

 

Chapter Text

For Clarke, the first few weeks passed by in a blur. She had gotten a little closer with her teacher, and she would actually consider Lexa a friend. However, the term “friend” kind of bothered her. It didn`t really sit with her, and she kept thinking about it a lot.

The blonde was sitting at her desk in the art room at school, currently listening to her favorite teacher talking about art history. More specifically the Romanticism and the different painters from that period.

“So, as you can see here in the painting `Wanderer above the sea of fog’, by the German Romantic landscape painter, C.D Friedrich…” The teacher kept talking about the composition and use of colour, trying to teach the students how to analyse different paintings.

All Clarke could focus on was the brunette`s lips. How soft were they? What would they ta…

“Ms. Griffin? Are you with us?” Lexa`s voice interrupted her train of thought and the blonde blushed.

“Y-yes” Clarke stuttered slightly, afraid to meet the teacher`s eyes.

“In that case, can you tell me what painting this is?” The brunette asked and pointed to the screen.

She had seen the painting before. Their previous art teacher had shown it to them last year, when they were learning about Romantic Nationalism. She recognised the boat on the water and the church in the far back, and knew that it was from Scandinavia somewhere. The scenery as surrounded by beautiful mountains, and what appeared to be a lake.

“I um, it`s called ‘The bridal party in Hardanger’ I think. And it is painted by Gude and Tideman” She answered, not sure why the teacher was asking about it.

“Great, you paid attention to this last semester, great example for the rest of the class” Lexa said, and she had a twinkle in her eyes.

“Do you know what is so special about this painting, Clarke?” The teacher asked, knowing that the younger girl knew the answer.

“If I remember correctly the painting is a setup. It is made up, it’s not even in Hardanger. The mountains are taken from somewhere else, but I’m not so sure about the church and the boat” Clarke answered again, and then the bell rang and everyone started to get up.

“Hey, I dismiss you, not the bell” Lexa said in a sort of commanding voice.

“I have some news for you, and I think you will like this. As you know, art history is something we have to learn about in this course, and since we are working with romanticism this period, aside from your project, I thought to myself; let us make this interesting. I have talked to your other professors and from Monday to Wednesday next week, we are going on a field trip to mount weather and the Trikru forest” Lexa said, and the students started cheering.

“Also, I know most of you are eighteen, but the school needs to know that it is okay with your parents and guardians, so you will have to bring back this paper with their signature before Friday if you want to go” She added before handing out the papers. “now you are free to go” She smiled at them.

Clarke and Harper met up with the rest of the group in the cafeteria.

“So, guess what!” Octavia said as they sat down around their table.

“What?” Clarke asked curiously.

“We are joining you on the field trip to Mount Weather!” Octavia said enthusiastically.

“What?” Clarke and Harper asked in unison.

“Well you see, principal Porter thought that Miss Woods`s field trip idea was great, so she said that anyone who wanted to go was allowed, we will have to work on something school related while we are gone, but it will still be great!” Raven said and clapped her hands.

“Do you know who else is going?” Clarke asked the Latina.

“Well, the gang is going. I heard some of the jocks and cheerleaders are going too, the music class, glee club. Basically, everyone who doesn’t mind spending time in the wild.” Raven shrugged.

The blonde tuned out after that. She found herself lost in her thoughts the rest of the day, and sighed with relief when the bell rang at the end of the day.

 

 

 

A few days later, Clarke walked home after school. She knew that her mother would probably refuse to sign the allowance paper, but she hoped that maybe Kane could talk some sense into her. The last chance to deliver the paper was tomorrow, and Clarke had been putting it off for as long as she could.

She walked through the door and went straight up to her room. She threw her bag on the bed before she grabbed the paper and headed downstairs again.

“Mom!?” She shouted as she walked into the kitchen.

“Clarke! Damn it… How many times have I told you that you don’t need to shout” Abby answered a bit startled before she picked the spatula from the floor.

“Sorry” Clarke said sheepishly.

“Did you want something, or was your goal to give me a heart attack?” Abby asked a bit annoyed at her daughter.

“Well, now that you are mad I’m not sure I want to ask you anymore” Clarke said and turned to leave.

“Oh come on Honey, I’m not mad, just… what did you want to ask me?” Abby said and smiled at her, trying to ease the mood in the room.

“I uh, well… There is this fieldtrip coming up on Monday. And I uhm, well I need your signature to go?” Clarke stuttered and handed the paper over.

“Oh, okay. How long will you be gone?” The older woman asked.

“Till Wednesday”

“Well I mean, you are almost eighteen, and I know you can take care of yourself, so I don’t see any reason not to” Abby said and signed the paper. Clarke had an expression similar to a gaping fish when Abby looked back up.

“What?” she asked and Clarke just stared at her. Who the hell are you and what did you do to my mother? Clarke thought.

“Oh uhm nothing” Clarke brushed it off and grabbed the paper back.

“You didn’t expect me to sign it, did you?” Abby sighed and Clarke nodded her head slowly.

“I’m sorry, Clarke. I know I have been a bad mother lately, I just wanted what was best for you, but then your teacher called me a few weeks ago, and she told me that you looked sad and distant and I know it was because of the fight about college.” Abby started. “What I’m trying to say is that, I don’t care what you become. You will always be my daughter and I will love and support you no matter what you choose.” She said and hugged her daughter.

Clarke melted into the hug, and couldn’t help the few tears that fell from her eyes. She had spent the last year arguing with her mother. A whole year where she just needed the woman to understand.  

“Thank you” Clarke whispered.

They stood like that until Marcus walked into the room.

“Aww, what did I miss?” He asked before Clarke gestured for him to join the hug. He may not be her father, and will never replace him, but he is Marcus, and he is her step dad whether she likes it or not.

 

 

Later that night the blonde decided she wanted to talk to Lexa. She went to the messenger app and found her name before clicking the call button. The brunette picked up on the fifth ring.

“Hello, Clarke” Lexa answered a little out of breath.

“Hey Lexa” Clarke said, listening to what the other girl was doing.

“What are you doing?” Clarke asked after a few seconds of silence.

“Oh, I’m running… yes running” Lexa said, and mumbled at the end. “Is there a reason that you are calling?” The brunette asked in a slightly high pitched voice, and Clarke was a bit taken aback by the way the brunette was speaking. Normally when they spoke the teacher was more, present and cheerful.

“I uh, I just wanted to thank you. I didn’t know you called my mom after the episode that happened two weeks ago.” Clarke said, and she could her panting from the other end. “Did I call at bad time? I.. I can call you later”

“No!... no, I mean.” Lexa said and groaned slightly. “I’m okay, I just, I’m running up a steep hill.” Lexa said, she sounded pained.

“Lexa? Are you okay? It sounds like you’re in pain” They younger girl said and furrowed her brows.

“I, shit, I twisted my ankle a few hundred meters back” She explained.

“You shouldn’t be running Lex. I… Let me come and get you.» Clarke said before she raced down the stairs and grabbed her car keys.

“You don’t have to do that.” Lexa said and Clarke shook her head smiling.

“No, but I want to” The blonde answered. “Where are you?” she asked before she got into her car.

“I’m on my way to the Southside viewpoint of Polis. The one near the dam” The brunette explained and Clarke drove off. She drove for about ten minutes before she saw her favorite brunette, except for Raven.

 

 

“Hey” Lexa said as the blonde girl walked over to her. “Hey yourself” Clarke smiled.

“Shit, your ankle is swollen” Clarke said before she bent down to take a closer look. “I think you need to go to the hospital, Lex”.

“What? No, I, it’s just a little swollen.” Lexa tried to brush it off, but the blonde just shook her head.

“yeah, but it is also turning blue, which is bad, damn, how bad did you twist it?” The blonde asked concerned.

“I-I don’t know, I just suddenly lost my balance and next thing I know I can barely step on it.” Lexa tried to laugh, but she lost her balance and stepped on her foot and winced.

“Yup, you definitely need to see a doctor.” Clarke said before she helped the brunette to the car. She drove to the hospital and followed Lexa to the doctor’s office.

 

“I can go if you want to” Clarke said in a sweet voice before she started to walk out.

“No, it’s alright, you can stay” Lexa said and grabbed her hand, stopping her from leaving. Clarke smiled at her before sitting down next to her. She didn’t let go of the brunette’s hand, and smiled reassuringly at her before the doctor came into the room.

“Hi, I’m Dr.Torres… ouch” the doctor said as she looked at the brunettes foot. “I think it is safe to say that you have strained your ankle pretty bad. Let’s take some x-rays” She said before pulling out a wheelchair from behind the door.

“Do you want your girlfriend to come with you?” The doctor asked, and they both blushed.

“I uhm, we’re not girlfriends” Lexa said.

“Oh! My bad, I… it, I’m sorry. Do you want your friend to join?” She asked again.

“Yeah, I’d like that please” Lexa said and looked to Clarke to see if it was okay with her. The blonde just smiled and nodded at her.

 

 

Half an hour later they walked out of the hospital, Lexa with crutches and a supporting bandage, and Clarke smiling beside her.

“Well, I guess the field trip will be interesting now huh?” Lexa tried to joke, and Clarke chuckled at her.

“haha, yeah” The blonde said. “But on the bright side, you didn’t break anything, and the doctor said you can take the bandage off in two days, one day before the field trip” Clarke said.

“Yeah, but I’m still stuck with these for the next two weeks” Lexa said sadly and gestured to the crutches.

“I think you look cute with them. They suit you” Clarke told her.

“I uh, thank you” The brunette smiled at her. She was so screwed. All she could think about was leaning forward to kiss the blonde. She wanted to blame the painkillers, but she didn’t take any.

“Let’s get you home” Clarke said before leaning to place a soft kiss on her cheek.

 

 

They drove in silence. The only sound was the engine and the other traffic, but it was nice. They didn’t need to say anything. When they pulled up to the brunette’s apartment, Clarke was fast to jump out of her car, and open the door for the other woman.

“Thank you, Clarke” The brunette said when Clarke handed her the crutches. They walked inside, and for the first time since Lexa moved in, she took the elevator.

 

Clarke walked Lexa to her apartment door, not really sure what to do when the brunette opened the door. Lexa unlocked it and turned around to face Clarke. Suddenly they realised how close they were standing, and Lexa’s eyes drifted down to the blonde’s lips, and back up to her eyes. It would be so easy to just lean forward and kiss her. She noticed that Clarke was staring at her with hooded eyes, and that made up her mind.

Lexa leaned forward. She could always blame it on the painkillers she didn’t take. Clarke started leaning forward to, and they met halfway. The fist brush of their lips made Lexa see fireworks behind her closed eyes, and she leaned in to deepen it. Clarke’s hands found her hips, and her own hands tangled in blonde hair. Soon they were fighting for dominance, and Lexa could feel herself harden, and pulled away abruptly.

“Wow” Clarke breathed.

“Shit” Lexa whispered.

“That was..” Clarke started, looking for the right word.

“A mistake. Shit… This was a mistake, I… Clarke, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that” Lexa said and took a few steps back, forgetting about her foot. “Fuck!” she yelped.

When she looked up, Clarke looked like she had been shot. The hurt and confusion in her eyes tugged at Lexa’s heart, but this needed to be done.

“What?” Clarke asked in disbelief.

“It was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry Clarke, but we can’t do this.” Lexa said in a colder and calmer voice than before.

“Lexa, I… Can’t we t-talk about this. I know – I know you feel it too. I- Please don’t do this” Clarke said, and her voice trembled slightly.

“I’m sorry, Clarke. I’ll see you on Monday” Lexa said, and began to turn around.

“Wait! Lexa! Please, I know I’m your student. I know, okay. I just… I can’t change the way I feel about you. I want it to go away. These feelings I mean. I never meant to fall for you, but how could I not?!” Clarke cried and yanked her back.

“Clarke. Please just leave okay. This can, and will never happen. I’m sorry, but I can’t” Lexa said and freed her arm.

“Yeah, I know” Clarke said as she pulled out a crumbled piece of paper from her pocket and threw it at the older woman. “I just, wish you could see past me being your student… I, I actually considered you a friend…” Clarke whispered as tears fell from her eyes.

“Clarke…” Lexa said, and her heart broke when she saw the devastated look in the other girl’s eyes.

“It’s okay… I- I won’t tell anyone. I’ll just, uhm, I’ll stay away, you don’t have to worry Miss Woods.” Clarke said, and the fact that she said Miss Woods instead of Lexa, hurt the brunette more than she would like to admit.

“Clarke I-“

“No, no, it’s fine. Goodbye. I hope you enjoy the field trip” Clarke said before she hurriedly walked away. She needed to get away.

 

Lexa was left standing alone with a crumbled piece of paper in her hand. She carefully unfolded it and she gasped when she saw the same drawing Clarke had given her one of the first weeks of school.

“Shit” she breathed and tears began to form in her eyes. She really broke Clarke’s heart.

 

They both fell asleep with tearstained cheeks and red rimmed eyes.

 

This is for the best, right?

Right?...

Chapter Text

Monday came too fast for Clarke’s liking. At one point she even considered not going on the field trip, but then she thought better of it since this was the first time since her father died that her mother had allowed her to pursue art, and because she really liked to paint landscapes.

So, she did everything painfully slow that morning. She used almost an hour in the bathroom just because she could, and because she didn’t want to face Lexa after what happened on Friday. She had packed her bag the day before, but she still found herself checking if she had gotten everything she needed.

Over the weekend she had gotten a dozen of messages from her teacher, apologizing for what she had said to her. It didn’t really matter, though it kind of did, but she could tell that the brunette really was sorry. Maybe Lexa was right, they could never, and would never be together.

 

 

Lexa was counting the students as they boarded the bus. She was surprised to see how many students who wanted to go. She kept counting and spotted some of Clarke’s friends. She knew Harper, since she takes art with the blonde, and she knows Raven too.

“Hey traitor” Raven said as she passed by.

“Raven, please wait” Lexa said, and the Latina turned around and glared at her.

“What?” Raven said in a low voice.

“I- uhm.. where is Clarke?” Lexa asked. It was two minutes until they were supposed to leave and she hadn’t seen the blonde yet.

“That’s a good question... but I think you already know the answer to that.” The Latina said.

“Raven, I... I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt her, I didn’t know, or realize how bad I hurt her, I- please tell her” Lexa pleaded. She knew she fucked up, she should have just listened to Anya and followed her heart. Damn Costia for making her like this.

“Tell her what?” Lexa heard from behind and turned to look at Clarke walking towards them.

“Clarke I-“ Lexa started, but the blonde girl walked right past her.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Rae” Clarke smiled at her friend and they walked on the bus. Lexa stood and looked after her helplessly.

 

The bus ride to Mount Weather and the Trikru forest took approximately two hours. The students started complaining after about an hour when they soon realized it was bad reception as they got closer to the destination. When they got there they soon realized the reality of it all. Hey were stuck there for three days.

As they went off the bus they paired up and decided who were going to share a tent with who. Clarke ended up in a tent with Octavia, Raven and Harper. The teachers handed out the tents to the students, and Clarke figured she wouldn’t be of much help. She grabbed her sketchbook and went for a walk down to the little lake she knew was nearby.

She sat down on a rock, with her sketchbook in her lap. She loved to sit like this. It was freeing in some way. Just sitting alone in the wild, daydreaming and thinking about everything. She kept thinking about Lexa’s words. This can, and will never happen. But Clarke wished, she wished that one day the brunette would see her as something more than her student.

A snapping branch pulled her out of her thoughts. She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there. She turned her head and saw Lexa stumbling and struggling with her crutches.

“H-Hey, Clarke. I- the others were looking for you. They said you had been gone for a while, and I just sort of figured you’d be here” The Brunette said as she got closer.

“What are your doing here?” Clarke asked before she turned around to look over the water again. Of course Lexa would know where she was.

“Clarke, I- I want to apologize. I know you saw my texts and you didn’t pick up when I called over the weekend. I just, I feel bad” Lexa tried to explain and Clarke felt tears forming in her eyes. The sound of Lexa’s voice tore through her heart, and she found it hard to breathe.

“Why are you here, Lexa?” The blonde asked sadly.

“I, want to apologize” The brunette said simply and Clarke just shook her head.

“You already did. I just... can you please leave me alone” The blonde sniffled and tried to catch the tears that were falling.

“Clarke-“

“Please” Clarke said again, and Lexa lowered her head. Defeated she looked at the ground and nodded her head. This was her fault. If she would have just shut her mouth... Damn it! Now she lost her before she had the chance to have her. She knew what she had to do, she had to get off her ducking high horse and confess her feelings for the blonde. Of course Clarke were right about them.

The only problem was that she couldn’t. She couldn’t do that. This was too risky and Clarke deserved better than her. Dejectedly she turned around and started limping back towards the camp.

When she got there, Raven was the first person to walk up to her.

“How did it go? Where is she?” She asked as she approached the teacher.

“She’s by the lake. I- Raven, she won’t even look at me. I- I fucked up. I should have just listened to Anya. Damn it” Lexa cursed herself and looked at the ground. “She was right... I- I feel the same way I just... She deserves so much better than me and I-“ The teacher started to ramble.

“Hey, Lexa... look at me. She has been crushing on you since the day we bumped into you in the hallway... almost two months ago. She is just sad, and she has every right to be sad. Just give her some time.” Raven tried to reassure the older girl. When she asked her where Clarke was, she already knew the answer, but she needed the brunette to go look for her.

She had forced Lexa to explain what happened and the brunette did. She didn’t expect her to cry though.

“Okay... yeah, okay I can do that. Give her time.” Lexa said before she walked away to check up on the other students. They were supposed to barbecue at two, which was soon, and she needed to make sure that everyone was settled.

 

Meanwhile, Raven searched for Finn and found him in the forest making out with some cheerleader.

“Hey! Finn I need that favor you owe me” She said as she approached them. She knew what she was asking for could end badly, but she felt bad for Clarke and Lexa.

“What do you want?” He said, and Raven made up some lie and explained what he had to do.

 

They were all gathered around the fire at the beach. Well all except for Clarke. The blonde was sitting at the same place she were before. She looked over at the others and locked eyes with her teacher. Lexa was looking at her strangely and before she could react she felt someone grab her arms and legs. Before she knew it, she was surrounded by water and she started kicking her feet like crazy.

The one thing Clarke never learned was to swim. Her parents tried to teach her when she was little, but she was afraid of the water. She drew in a breath but she could feel water flow into her lungs.


“Shit! Hey! Dbags! What the fuck are you doing!? She can’t swim!!” Harper shouted as she noticed the blonde disappear under the water.

Lexa didn’t know what happened next, but she forgot about her foot and took off sprinting towards the water. She forgot about the pain in her foot, all she could think about was Clarke. The lake was dangerous some places. The bottom would suddenly disappear under your feet.

Lexa dove into the water and swam after Clarke. The blonde was nearly two meters down when she reached her and she kicked her feet, dragging them both up towards the surface. She laid the blonde on the sand and started to shake her.

“Clarke! Hey! Clarke! Open your eyes! Come on! Don’t leave us here!” The teacher shouted and they were soon surrounded by the other students.

Lexa started CPR and just as she were about to blow some air into the blondes lungs she opened her eyes and spluttered out water. She gasped for air and locked eyes with Lexa.

“Oh thank god!” Lexa breathed and pulled the younger girl closer. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” She whispered as Clarke started to whimper.

“Okay people! Move away! Get out of our way!!” Lexa heard Raven and the rest of the delinquents shout as they made their way over.

Octavia ran up to the two jocks who threw her friend into the water and starter to scream at them. Lexa could hear some of the words they were saying.

 

“Relax bitch, it was just a joke” one of them said, and Lexa saw red. She stood up abruptly and walked over to them.

“Hey! What’s your name!?” She roared at the boy.

“Dax Mulligan” he said simply.

“Listen to me you little piece of shit. Nothing, and I mean nothing about what you just did was funny. She could have died! Do you realize that! She could have died!” The teacher whispered harshly at him and he flinched.

“Ms. Harmon. Please let his parents know that they can come and pick him up and that he is suspended from school for the next week.” Lexa said in a cold voice before she walked over to Clarke.

“Clarke? Are you okay? Come on, let’s get you to your tent.” The teacher said and gestured for Titus, the football coach, to pick her up and follow her. He carried Clarke to the tents and Lexa let him know that she got it from there. He just looked at them for a few seconds before he shrugged and walked away.

“Clarke, you’re shaking. Let’s get you inside your tent” Lexa said and looked to the blonde who just shook her head. It’s now or never. Clarke thought to herself.

“What do you mean?” The brunette asked with furrowed brows.

“I- can I s-stay in your tent? P-please?” Clarke asked as she shivered. Lexa just stared at her before looking around.

“Clarke, I don’t th-“

“Please?”

“I... Okay, yeah, you can stay in my tent.” The brunette said and started walking them through the tents. When they reached the tent Lexa unlocked it and zipped it open. She let Clarke go in first and went inside after her.


“You should get into the sleeping bag and warm yourself up” the brunette said as she opened her sleeping bag. It was actually meant for two people, Lexa just forgot to check that when she bought it.

She gestured for the blonde to get inside it and roamed through her bag to get some of the blankets she had brought with her.

“Here, take these” she said and handed them over to the blonde.

“Get in?” Clarke asked in a whisper and opened the sleeping bag, signaling for Lexa to lay next to her. Lexa wanted to protest, but she didn’t want to upset the girl so she nodded her head and lied next to her.

“Thank you” The blonde whispered and snuggled closer to her. Lexa could smell the blondes hair and it reminded her of coconut oil and vanilla. They laid there until they fell asleep, forgetting about everyone on the outside.

 


Meanwhile, Raven found herself dragging Finn by the ear into the forest.

“What the fuck was that?! That’s not what I meant! Damn it Finn!” Raven shouted before she pushed him.

“What?! I didn’t even do that!! I was in the forest looking for a spider like you said!” He shouted back. He was shaking and tears started forming in his eyes. “I would never do that. I- I know that she can’t swim.”

“Then what?! Why did they do it?” Raven asked.

“I don’t know, maybe they overheard us or something?” Finn guessed.

“I’m going to murder that bastard!” Raven growled before she stormed off, leaving a startled Finn behind.

 

A few hours later Lexa woke up with Clarke still in her arms. She had woken up a few times prior, because miss Harmon and the school nurse would check up on the girl. They had tried calling the blondes parents, but no one answered the phone. The blonde was snuggled up to her in the same position and she figured she should probably wake the girl up. She shook her gently and the blonde stirred a bit.

“Clarke? Hey, I think you should wake up” she whispered in her hair.

“Hmm.” Clarke grunted before she opened her eyes.

“Hey” Lexa said gently and brushed a strand of hair behind the girl’s ear.

“Hey” Clarke murmured as she started toyed with the brunette’s sweater.

“How are you feeling?” Lexa asked and locked eyes with the blonde. They were laying really close.

“Like I died and went to hell?” Clarke said sarcastically before she tried to sit up. She ended up laying back down because her head hurt.

“You really scared me” The brunette said and she could feel the familiar stinging behind her eyes. Almost losing the blonde made her realize that she would rather risk her career than not have the blonde in her life at all.

“I did?”

“You did” Lexa said and nodded her head.

“I’m sorry” The blonde said and leaned their foreheads together.

“It’s alright, I... um when you were laying in the sand, not breathing, I... I realized something, and.. I- I want to do this, with you. I don’t care about morals I just, I want you” The brunette said and a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Really?” Clarke asked hopefully, and instead of answering Lexa leaned forward and connected their lips in a sweet kiss. It lasted for a few seconds before they pulled apart.

“Wow” Clarke whispered in awe. “I never thought I got to do that again”

“I’m sorry for hurting you” Lexa whispered and leaned forward again. This kiss was a little rougher, but it was still sweet. Clarke licked the other girl’s lips, and Lexa opened her mouth. The blonde loved the taste of this girl. Damn she was in deep and Lexa had just agreed to try this with her.

Before they could react, the zipper went up and someone opened the tent.


“Well I can’t say that I’m surprised”

....

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry for hurting you” Lexa whispered and leaned forward again. This kiss was a little rougher, but it was still sweet. Clarke licked the other girl’s lips, and Lexa opened her mouth. The blonde loved the taste of this girl. Damn she was in deep and Lexa had just agreed to try this with her.

Before they could react, the zipper went up and someone opened the tent.


“Well I can’t say that I’m surprised”

....

 

 

Clarke and Lexa stared horrified at the person that just opened the tent.

“What?” Harper said as she made her way into the tent.

“You know?” Clarke said in disbelief.

“Well I had my suspicions, but I didn’t know for sure until
I saw miss Woods cry when you were laying in the sand” The blonde girl said as she shrugged her shoulders. “And then there was all the heart eyes you kept sending each other in class” she smirked.

“Wow, uhm, okay” Clarke said, not sure what else she could do. She knew that Raven knew, but Harper? She would have never guessed. It kind of felt good that some of her friends knew, but then again, it was a bit terrifying too.

“Well uh, did you want something?” Clarke asked. She had noticed that Lexa was still frozen in place, like everything would explode if she moved.

“Oh! Yeah, I was sent up here to check on you, but it seems like Miss Woods has that covered” Harper winked at them. “I will tell everyone else that you’re asleep and not to disturb you, Okay?” She said before she made her way out.

“Thank you” clarke answered before the other girl disappeared. She looked over to Lexa who was still quiet. She lifted her hand to the brunettes cheek, but the other girl moved away from the touch.

“Lexa..?” Clarke asked, confusion written all over her face. They were fine just a few minutes ago. The brunette still didn’t say anything and Clarke started to worry. “Hey? Are you okay?” She asked quietly, but got no response. The blonde huffed in frustration and got up, ready to leave for her own tent.

“Wait!” The teacher said and grabbed her hand, which made the blonde flinch slightly. “Shit! Sorry, I didn’t mean to grab you that hard” she said and looked at the blue eyed girl.

“It’s okay” Clarke said and sat back down.

“I just... I-...” Lexa struggled to say anything. “She knows?” The brunette finally settled on.


“Well, uh yeah. I’m sorry, I... do you not want her to know?” Clarke stammered.

“Clarke, I th-“ Lexa started, but the blonde cut her off.

“Lexa, come on. It’s just Harper and Raven that knows. And Anya knows too!” The blonde said. “We were fine basically two minutes ago, did you not mean what you told me?”

“That’s not what I was gonna say. Clarke, I... I want to do this with you. God I really do. I just, we have to be more careful. This time it was Harper, next time god knows who it will be.” The teacher sighed and pulled the blonde girl closer.
“Are you sure you want this? We can be more careful, I promise.” Clarke whispered.

“I’m sure, now come here” Lexa said and pulled Clarke in for a sweet kiss.

 

 

Down at the beach the students were still all shocked. The reality of it all had hit them and the mumbling amongst the students were starting to annoy a little Miss Raven Reyes. She walked in between them, looking for that Mulligan bastard. She was going to mur- give him a piece of her mind.

A little further down the lakeside she spotted the bastard and she smiled a little when the boy was getting yelled at by Titus.

«You fucking piece of shit!” She roared as she leaped at him. “You think this is funny! A joke! I’ll tell you what’s a joke! Your entire existence is a joke you stupid ignorant bastard! I will make you go boom!!” She yelled as Miss Harmon were trying to hold the Latina back.

“Haha, oh my god, you’re such a loser, Reyes” Dax just chuckled, but he winced as soon as Bellamy came up behind him and twisted his arm. Bellamy was pretty sure he dislocated his shoulder, but the bastard deserved it.

“Ow! Blake! What the fuck!!” He screamed. “Aren’t you gonna do something!?” He yelled at Titus who just turned his back to them.

“If you ever go near any of my friends again I will end you” Bellamy growled in his ear before he pushed him to the ground.


“Reyes” he said as he turned towards Raven. “Have you heard anything yet? Is Clarke okay?” He asked in concern.

“Yeah, yeah she’s okay. Harper said she’s still sleeping. Miss Woods is watching her in case someone tries anything” Raven said, still glaring at Dax.

“Good, that’s good” He said before walking away.

 


When the clock turned 8pm they all gathered around the campfire, including Clarke and Lexa. Clarke had gone back to her gang, and Lexa went to be with the rest of the teachers. They got two s’mores each, and Lexa had secretly given Clarke one of hers too, because she felt like Clarke deserved a little extra.

They had decided that the teacher was going to drive the blonde home in the morning, because she needed a hospital checkup due to the accident earlier. As the time passed, people started to get tired and some even went back to their tents to sleep before eleven.


“Hey” Raven said as she walked up to Clarke. She noticed that her friend was staring at their teacher, and figured she should do something before anyone else noticed the heart eyes they gave each other.

“Hi” Clarke smiled at her friend when Raven sat down next to her.

“Sooo... what’s up with you and Miss hot stuff?” Raven asked curiously and wiggled her eyebrows.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Clarke tried to brush it off, but her smile betrayed her.

“Oh come on Griffin, we’re best friends. Besides, I see the way you look at each other, it’s disgustingly adorable” The Latina teased and bumped their shoulders together.

“Okay, uh.. She agreed to see where this leads and that we will take it slow” The blonde said through a smile.

“Aww How cute” Raven smirked.

“Wait a minute! I know that smirk.,. Oh my god! You knew!” Clarke whispered loudly and Raven just shrugged, her smirk still in place.

“How?” Clarke asked.

“Well you know, the little bird miss McIntyre is not so good at keeping secrets... so, you guys finally kissed?” The brunette smiled at her.

“Yeah, we did, but that’s not the first time” Clarke said and now it was Clarke’s time to smirk.

“What!?” Raven shouted, drawing attention from the other students and teachers. Lexa turned to look at them questioningly too, and Clarke smiled softly at her, letting her know that everything was fine.

“We uhm... we kissed on Friday” she mumbled and Raven just stared at her.

“You told me she turned you down! What— Griffin!” Raven whispered loudly at her, pretending to be mad, but her shit eating grin betrayed her.

“Well technically she did, after we kissed. She told me it was a mistake too” Clarke said, but smiled nonetheless.

“Wow... you want me to make her go boom, as a little warning if she ever breaks your heart?” Raven asked, grinning at her friend.

“Hahah, no, I don’t n’t think so” The blonde laughed.

“Okay, well, I think I’ll call it night and go to bed” Raven yawned and stretched her arms in the air. “If you want to sleep in Miss hot stuff’s tent I won’t tell anybody” she added and winked before she got up.

Clarke sat there for a few minutes after that. She was deep in her own thoughts and didn’t notice when someone sat down next to her. Jumped a little when she felt someone hold her hand, but smiled when she realized that it was Lexa.

“Hey you” The brunette smiled and Clarke smiled back at her.

“Hey”

“What did you guys talk about?” Lexa asked curiously, lifting an eyebrow.

«Oh you know, just that a certain hot someone agreed to try this thing with me” Clarke said with a smirk. She found herself doing that a lot this evening.

“Hot huh?” Lexa teased and wrapped her arms around the blonde.

“ Oh yeah, and she has these pretty eyes. They’re green like the forest, but I can’t really capture the beauty because I get lost in my thoughts every time” Clarke said softly and Lexa looked at her in awe. This girl was entirely something else.

“You think I have beautiful eyes?” She asked and Clarke nodded her head.

“Well I know a girl that has even more beautiful eyes. You see, they are a mixture of the ocean and the sky, and I see them every time I close my eyes.” Lexa said and Clarke was speechless.

“Lexa, I... would it be okay if I uhm, maybe slept with you tonight?” Clarke stuttered out and Lexa’s eyes widened. When Clarke looked up and saw the teacher’s expression she realized her mistake and quickly backtracked.

“Shit! Sorry I meant in your tent! Sleep in your tent, not have sex” she clarified and the brunette almost looked relieved.

“Clarke I...”

“Please, Raven said she’d cover for me, and I- I feel safe in your arms” Clarke cut her off, and damn how hard it was to say no to this girl.

“Okay, you can sleep in my tent” The brunette said and Clarke beamed.

“Okay! Great, see you in a bit” Clarke said and kissed her cheek before she got up.

 


Ten minutes later they found themselves cuddled up in the teacher’s tent. They decided to share Lexa’s sleeping bag and used the cold as the perfect excuse.

“Hey Lexa?” Clarke whispered softly, snaking a hand around the other girl. Their fronts were pressed together and Clarke hid her face in the crook of Lexa’s neck.

“Yes Clarke?”

“I uh... when you drive me home tomorrow, my mom, she uh, she won’t be home for a few days, she and Marcus are at some sort of conference or something and I just- uhm, I don’t want to be alone when I get back. Can I please s-stay with you?” She said in one breath and Lexa looked at her and saw something in her eyes, was it fear?

“Clarke, of course you can stay with me. I just, I have to take you to the hospital first, okay” Lexa said and Clarke nodded.

“Thank you” The blonde said and leaned up to kiss her.

“You’re welcome” Lexa said before She pecked her nose, then her cheeks and finally pressing their lips together.

What was supposed to be a short sweet kiss turned very heated very quick and soon they were fighting for dominance. “Your lips are so soft” Clarke said in between kisses and the brunette hummed. She kissed her way down the younger girl’s neck and pinned her to the ground. When Clarke let out a moan she felt herself hardening and quickly pulled back.

Clarke had no idea that she was intersex, and she was afraid of what would happen when the blonde found out. Would she freak out? Would she run? Would she decide that she didn’t want to be with her anymore? So many thoughts made their way through her mind.

“Lexa? Hey, are you okay?” Clarke asked with concern in her voice.

“Y-yeah, m’fine” she answered as she got of the other girl.

“Are you sure? You look pale, did I do something wrong?” The blonde asked and Lexa was quick to shake her head no.
“No... no you didn’t do anything wrong. I- Clarke I have to tell you something and I need you to just not freak out. Please” The teacher said and Clarke looked at her with a thousand questions in her eyes.

“You don’t have a girlfriend do you?” Clarke asked, and Lexa just chuckled and shook her head.

“No, I don’t. I- I’m intersex, Clarke. I uhm. I have a penis” she said quickly and closed her eyes so hard that she saw a million different colors behind them.

“You do?” Was the first thing the other girl said, and Lexa began to open her eyes slowly.

“I do, I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner, I understand if you, if you want to end this I just. I needed to tell you before things got too far” The brunette stammered.

“Lexa... I- I don’t care what you have in your pants. I just. I want you for you, and you are an amazing teacher with the sweetest and most beautiful personality. You can be a strict bitch sometimes, but you’re special. You’re a great and beautiful woman, and everything and everyone who doesn’t see that can go die in a bush or something» Clarke told her before she captured her lips again.

Lexa was speechless. No one had ever said anything like that to her. Clarke made her feel so many things and she could easily see herself falling even more for this girl.

“Thank you, Clarke” she said and kissed her forehead.

“You’re welcome... now cuddle me” The blonde said and draped the brunette’s arm around herself. The last thing she heard before she fell asleep was Lexa’s soft chuckle.

Chapter Text

Lexa drove them back in the morning. The first thing they did was pack their stuff and the brunette’s tent. Lexa borrowed miss Harmon’s car because she didn’t have her own there, so they had to drive to the school to switch cars before they could go to the hospital.

At the hospital they had to wait for about 15 minutes before Clarke could go in to see the doctor. He ran a few tests on her, and checked her lungs, her pulse and her blood pressure. He also had to check her reflexes, and everything seemed to be fine with the girl. He had told her that she was lucky someone reacted so fast, and that she should give that person a big thank you. Which gave Clarke a great idea.

On the drive to Lexa’s apartment Clarke had managed to fall asleep. Lexa decided to turn down the radio, and just circle a few times around the block, because she figured that the blonde needed as much rest as possible.

After driving aimlessly around for half an hour she finally decided that it was time to go home. She took a left turn and drove carefully up the parking lot. She turned off the engine and stared out the window for a few minutes before she sighed and got out. She walked around the car and carefully opened the passenger door. Clarke was resting against the window, and she didn’t want the blonde girl to fall out and hurt herself.

She unclasped the belt, and scooped the blonde in her arms. She carefully walked them inside and got into the elevator, and pushes the button to her floor.

She struggled a bit to get her key into the lock without waking Clarke up, but managed after a few tries. She opened the door and walked straight to the couch to lay the girl down. She draped a blanket over her and went to close the door.

When she walked back into the living room the blonde was awake.

“Hey” She said sleepily and rubbed her eyes.

“Hi” Lexa said as she crouched down next to the couch.

“How long have I been sleeping?” She asked and looked around.

“About fifty minutes. I didn’t mean to wake you up” The brunette said and planted a kiss on her forehead.

“You didn’t” Clarke smiled and Lexa returned it.

“So, you wanna watch a movie or something?” Lexa asked casually and Clarke burst out laughing.

“What?” Lexa asked confused which made Clarke laugh even more.

“Nothing, nothing you’re just adorable” she smiled and leaned forward to kiss her. “And yes, we could watch a movie”

“Great” Lexa said and clapped her hands together before she got up.

“Where are you going?” Clarke asked and pouted.

“To pop popcorn, I’ll be right back” The brunette said before she walked into the kitchen.

Clarke sighed softly and watched her girl from the couch. She wondered how she ended up here, but she wasn’t complaining. Not at all. When she started this year she was sure it would be hell, but Lexa had changed that. The second they bumped into each other she knew there was no way she could keep herself from falling for this woman.

“Okay, so what do you want to watch?” Lexa said as she plopped down next to the girl.
“Anything, I don’t care, I’m just happy to be here with you” Clarke said and leaned closer to her.

“Okay, well I hope you like Disney movies” she said as she opened Netflix on the TV and selected The Lion King.

“Why am I not surprised?” Clarke chuckled and Lexa just smiled at her.

Clarke found herself watching Lexa more than the movie, and she found it too cute that the other girl mouthed every line in the movie. She even made these adorable face expressions subconsciously. They both sang along with the songs and when the movie ended, Clarke found herself yet again unable to stop staring at the brunette.

“What?” Lexa asked and poked her nose.

Instead of replying Clarke leaned forward and kissed her and moved to straddle her. Lexa snaked her arms around her waist and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. She started kissing down the blonde’s neck, leaving a few hickeys along the way. The sounds the blonde was making only encouraged her and she reached for Clarke’s shirt, pulling it over her head.

She broke the kiss and pulled her own shirt off too, and stood up to take off her pants before laying the blonde on her back against the couch. She looked at Clarke, silently asking to take off the girl’s jeans and Clarke nodded. She quickly got rid of them and went to lay between the girl’s legs.

“Is this okay?” The brunette asked and Clarke nodded her head vigorously. She started trailing kissed further down the girl’s body. Her collarbone, her chest, down her stomach and a little peck over the fabric where the blonde needed her the most.

“God, Lexa, stop teasing me” Clarke whimpered and Lexa kissed her way back up again.

“Please” Clarke whispered against her lips, but Lexa shook her head.

“It takes as long as it takes, niron” the brunette said and kissed her again.

“Niron?” Clarke questioned and Lexa smiled at her.

“I’ll tell you someday” The brunette said and snaked her fingers down to the hem of Clarke’s panties.

“Please, just take them off” Clarke begged and whimpered softy. And Lexa did just that. She pulled them down slowly and her mouth began to water.

“Wow” she breathed out and Clarke smirked at her. She could feel herself harden, and her compression shorts became painfully tight.

“Here, let me help you” Clarke whispered in her ear as she started to pull the shorts down. The blonde gasped when the dick slapped against the brunette’s stomach and her eyes darkened.

“Lexa... take me to the bedroom” Clarke said in a husky voice and Lexa obeyed and picked her up. She kissed Clarke as she blindly walked through her apparent and opened the door to her bedroom. She carefully laid the blonde on the bed before she unclasped her bra and took it off. She quickly got rid of her own too and they were both naked.

“I never thought I’d be in this room again” Clarke whispered and Lexa leaned down to kiss her. She reached out her hand and fumbled with the drawer before she pulled out a condom. She ripped it open and went to place it on her dick, but Clarke stopped her.

“We don’t need it... I.. I’m on the pill and I’m clean” Clarke breathed out and Lexa nodded her head before throwing it away.
I
“Okay” The brunette said before she crawled down the bed, placing her head between the girl’s legs. She kissed and nipped at her inner thighs and Clarke moaned at the feeling. She slowly made her way to the blonde’s center, and Clarke’s breath hitched when Lexa’s tongue made contact.

“Oh god” Clarke moaned as Lexa flicked her tongue faster. The brunette started playing with her entrance, and Clarke needed her now.

“Lexa..mm. P-please just fuck me” Clarke moaned out, and who was Lexa to deny her.

She crawled up the blondes body and kissed her lips before she lined herself up with the blondes entrance.

“Are you sure you want this?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded her head. “Y-yes, please” She said. She was dripping wet and she needed Lexa to take her.

Lexa carefully started to push the head of her dick inside the blonde and they both moaned at the feeling.

“Oh god, you’re so big” Clarke moaned and Lexa smirked at her. “Don’t get cocky” Clarke warned and Lexa pushed more of her dick inside her.

“Clarke you’re so tight” The brunette groaned in her ear when she was sheathed inside the blonde. She waited for Clarke to adjust to her and when the blonde grabbed her ass and started to push her, she set off at a slow pace.

“Yes... oh... Just like that” Clarke breathed and moaned as Lexa slowly started to pick up her pace. “Fuck, Lexa... f-faster... please” she groaned out and soon Lexa was fucking her rapidly. The bead started to creak and the headboard banged against the wall as their groans filled the air.

Lexa grabbed the blondes hips and pushed her into the mattress. She looked down between their legs and and moaned as she saw her cock disappear inside Clarke’s warm heat.

“God! L-Lexa! Please don’t stop... ngh..” Clarke moaned out as she tried to push her hips to meet Lexa. Her hands clawed down the brunette’s back, leaving angry red marks.
Lexa kissed her neck and bit her earlobe, breathing heavily against her skin.

Clarke lifted her feet and wrapped them around the girl, trying to push her deeper inside of her. Lexa was pounding into her. Their groaning and the sound of skin slapping against skin turned Clarke on even more and she could feel that familiar fluttering in her lower abdomen.

“Fuck! Lex-Lexa! Oh... goood... fuck!”

Lexa could feel that Clarke was close. The blonde’s walls were squeezing her tightly and she could feel the pressure in her balls. She intertwined their fingers and leaned down to kiss her, keeping the pace up. She whimpered and buried her face in Clarke’s neck, hoping that the blonde would cum first.

They panted as their hips slowly lost their rhythm. Clarke hips moved uncontrollably and she wrapped her arms around the brunette.

“Oh fuck! Lexa.. F-fuck! I’m gonna cum” she moaned into her ear and threw her head into the pillow. Lexa leaned down to take one of her nipples in her mouth and started to suck.

Lexa knew that she was going to cum any minute, but she needed Clarke to go first.

“Oh god! Clarke.. fuck! You feel so good! So.. fucking good!” Lexa cried out and Clarke whimpered and clenched around her.

“Cum inside me... p-please” Clarke gasped, and Lexa let go. She shot rope after rope of hot thick cum inside of her and Clarke stilled beneath her. The blonde let out a long cry as she came and Lexa kept pumping her hips inside of her.

They slowly came down from their highs and Lexa stayed inside the girl, feeling herself go soft. She pressed soft kisses to Clarke’s body, waiting for the girl to open her eyes.
After a few minutes she opened them, and green eyes locked onto blue.

“Was that okay? I didn’t hurt you?” Lexa asked in concern.

“God, that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had. Fuck! I feel so full right now” Clarke said and her face broke into a huge grin, before she realized something and her face fell.

“What?” The brunette asked.

“Fuck... I’m gonna be so sore tomorrow” Clarke groaned before she pulled the brunette in for a kiss.

“I’m sorry” Lexa smirked and Clarke hit her playfully.

“No you’re not”

“I wish we could stay like this forever” Lexa murmured against the blonde’s lips and Clarke smiled softly at her.

“Me too”. Clarke whispered and kissed her nose.

“We should probably clean ourselves up. Would you like to take a bubble bath with me?” Lexa said and pulled out of her. She got out of the bed and reached her hand out for Clarke to take.

“Yes, most definitely” Clarke smiled and got up too.

“I’ll get the water running” The brunette said before she kissed Clarke and walked into the bathroom.

Clarke walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to grab a bottle of water. She uncapped it and took a big gulp of water. She looked around and curiosity got the best of her when she spotted a folder on the kitchen table.

She walked over to it and slowly opened it without really thinking. Inside was a bunch of papers and a receipt. It was also some sort of catalog with a picture of a house, kind of like those you get when you buy a new house.

Suddenly a lightbulb turned on inside the blonde’s head. Lexa was moving. She was moving at she didn’t tell her. Was all this a one time thing? Had Lexa really slept with her because she was going to leave anyway? Clarke suddenly felt lightheaded and grabbed a hold of the table to keep herself from falling.

She heard footsteps in the hallway and a very joyful Lexa appeared. The brunettes face fell thoug when she saw the expression on the blonde’s face.

“Clarke? Are you alright?” She asked as she carefully approached her. She reached out to touch her, but the blonde flinched away.

“Don’t” Clarke said and her voice sounded hollow.

“Clarke what’s wrong?” Lexa asked, her eyes pleading.

Clarke lifted the folder and threw it on the floor in front of Lexa’s feet.

“You’re leaving?” The blonde asked as tears formed in her eyes.

Lexa looked at her in shock and it was silent for a few moments before Clarke stormed back into the bedroom.

...

Chapter Text

“Clarke what’s wrong?” Lexa asked, her eyes pleading.

Clarke lifted the folder and threw it on the floor in front of Lexa’s feet.

“You’re leaving?” The blonde asked as tears formed in her eyes.

Lexa looked at her in shock and it was silent for a few moments before Clarke stormed back into the bedroom.

...


Lexa stood frozen in place, unable to move. What just happened? Clarke found out about the house you dummy! That’s what happened. Lexa thought to herself before she limped as fast as she could into the bedroom. Her foot still hurt like a bitch, but she hadn’t had time to think about the pain.

“Clarke, Wait I can explain” Lexa said in a pleading voice, the shock still evident on her face.

“I don’t need an explanation!” Clarke yelled and Lexa’s heart broke at the sight of the girl. Those tears were all her fault. She couldn’t let Clarke leave like this, not after what just happened

“Clarke, please just listen to m-”

“No, Lexa, I- I think I’m going to go” The blonde said as she picked up her clothes.

“Clarke! I’m not moving away!” The brunette shouted quickly, she didn’t want Clarke to leave, and the girl kept interrupting her.

“Wh- what? But I saw..”

“Clarke, I’m not moving away” Lexa said again and carefully approached her. “I’m not moving away. I’m moving. But I’m not leaving. I would never do that to you, not without saying goodbye I- Please believe me” the brunette’s voice cracked at the end.

“Where are you moving?” Clarke sniffled and wiped her eyes.

“It’s closer to school, and it will make things easi-“

“Where is it?” Clarke interrupted her.

“It’s the one that was for sale in your neighborhood” Lexa sighed. So much for surprising the girl.

“What?” The blonde asked shocked.

“I’m moving to your neighborhood. I uh, I wanted it to be a surprise for later. I made up my mind on Friday, after I h-hurt you and I don’t ever want to be the person to hurt you ever again.” Lexa explained and looked at the blonde.

“So we will basically be neighbors? Wow” Clarke breathed as she took it in.

“I was going to surprise you later, but I forgot that it was laying in the kitchen and I.. I’m sorry.” The brunette said and stepped closer to the other girl.

“No, don’t be, I-I’m sorry I overreacted, I just, when I saw it I th.. I thought you were leaving me and that the only reason we slept together was because you would leave anyways and I j-“

“Clarke, I would never just leave you. Ever. Especially not after that” Lexa said as she pulled the blonde closer. They stood there hugging for a few moments before Lexa broke the silence.

“Now, do you want that bath or not?” Lexa asked.

“Definitely” Clarke smiled softly before she kissed her.


______

 


“She what!?” Abby screamed through the phone.

“I’m sorry, mrs Griffin, we tried to call you right after it happened, but no one answered” Niylah said apologetically.

“You’re telling me... that my- my daughter. My only child, nearly drowned?” Abby asked for the fifth time during the call.

“Again, we are really sorry. We failed to provide safety for our students, she was gone for about two minutes, but one of the teachers started CPR as fast as she could.” Niylah kept explaining and Abby wanted to murder someone.

“How did this happen? I know my daughter, she would never go near water unless she absolutely has to”

“Two of our students, I believe they are, or were, on the football team, they threw her into the water. It was supposed to some sort of prank. The boys who did it got expelled today.” The teacher kept explaining.

“Where’s Clarke now?” Abby asked, hoping that her daughter was safe. After this call she would book the first flight home, she needed to see her baby. Just the thought that her daughter could have died tugs at her heart strings painfully.

“One of the teachers drove her home, she had to stay for a day before they could leave, because of lacking vehicles, but she seemed fine and got much rest”

“So you are telling me that my daughter is home alone after she nearly died! What kind of school are you!? You’re supposed to keep your students safe! What is the name of the teacher” Abby yelled through the phone.

“Again, we are sorry, Mrs Griffin, and her art teacher drove her home, Alexandria Woods” Niylah said and Abby thanked her after yelling some more.


Abby quickly dialed her daughter’s number, but she got sent to voicemail. She sighed and figured that Clarke was probably asleep. She sat down on the bed and pulled out her computer, looking for plane tickets so she could get home to her child.

“What was that about?” Marcus asked as he merged from the bathroom.

“That... was a teacher from Arkadia High. She... she just told me that Clarke almost drowned yesterday” Abby answered as tears began to fall from her eyes.

“What? How?” Marcus asked concerned and put a hand on the woman’s shoulder.

“S-some boys t-th threw her in the water” she explained as a sob broke through. “I- I have to go h-home, Marcus.” She kept crying.

“It’s okay, Abby. Clarke needs you. I will follow you to the airport and book myself a flight first thing after the last meeting tomorrow” he said gently and pulled his wife closer to him.
“I sh- I should have been there for h-her... I-“ She cried.

“Abby, listen to me. This is in no way your fault. You couldn’t have known that this was going to happen.” Marcus whispered to her. “It will be okay, maybe you should call the teacher?” He said and kissed the top of her head.

Abby just stared at the wall. This had to be some sick joke. After Jake died, she wasn’t the best mother to her daughter and she and Clarke used to fight a lot after the first couple of weeks after his death. Her daughter nearly died, and she was, what felt like, a million miles away.


_________


“Oh god... yes!! R-right there! Don’t stop, Lexa, p-please don’t stop” Clarke groaned as the brunette kept pushing down.

 

“Clarke, you have to lie still. Relax your body.” Lexa said gently as she kept massaging the girl’s back. “You’re really tense”

 

“You’re really pretty” Clarke murmured as she turned her head to look at the woman.

 

“You’re not so bad yourself” Lexa said back and found another tense spot.

 

“Oh my God!” Clarke yelled as Lexa knead the soar muscles.

 

“Clarke, you have to stop making those sounds” The brunette groaned and shifted a bit. She was straddling the girl’s thighs, and her crotch was almost touching her but cheeks.

 

“Or wha—” the blonde was about to say as a phone started ringing.

 

“Shit” Lexa cursed as she reluctantly stood up from the bed and walked over to her phone.

 

“Who is it?” Clarke asked curiously

 

“Oh, you know, just my other girlfriend” Lexa teased, before her eyes widened. Clarke had an expression similar to a deer caught in headlights. Wanting to save this conversation for later, Lexa picked up her phone.


“Hello, this is Lexa Woods” she said, sounding like a professional business woman.

 

“Hi, Lexa. This is Abigail Griffin, Clarke’s mother” the woman on the phone said, and Lexa’s eyes widened comically, making Clarke look at her with a raised eyebrow.

“What can I help you with, Mrs Griffin?” Lexa asked, intentionally using the last name to let Clarke know who she was talking to, and Clarke shot up from her position and raced to stand next to the brunette.

“I heard about my daughter’s accident just a few minutes ago, and I learned that, uhm, that you helped saving her, and I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for saving my little girl” Abby said and Lexa nearly choked on air. Said little girl was screaming her name a few hours ago, while she was pounding into her.

“I- uh.. you’re welcome” The brunette stuttered awkwardly. It was a little weird talking to her students mom, and that was mainly because she had sex with that student recently.

“Can you do me a favor?” Abby asked and Lexa raised her eyebrow, waiting for the woman to continue.

“Okay?” Lexa asked skeptically.

“I know this may sound a little weird, but could you please check on her once or twice for me? She’s not responding to any of my calls and I just, I need to know she is safe. I tried calling some of my friends at the hospital, but they’re busy and our neighbors are gone for a while... Can you just, maybe stay with her? I- we have two guest rooms too” the woman explained and Lexa smiled softly.

“Yeah, I- okay, I can check on her for you” Lexa said and looked to Clarke.

“Thank you! I will send you the address and there is a spare key in a safe under the flower pot to the left. The code is 5665.” Abby said and Lexa felt bad for her, it must feel horrible to not see your child knowing that she got into an accident.

“Okay, I will go as soon as I can” Lexa said.

«Thank you, Miss Woods” Abby said before she hung up.

Lexa turned around to look at Clarke who was looking at her weirdly. She slowly walked over to her and smiled shyly.

“So, your other girlfriend is my mother, how nice” the blonde teased and pulled the brunette close.

“Do you want to talk about it? I just- did I freak you out?, I know this is soon and I wasn’t supposed to say that, I don’t know what I was thinking, Cla-“ she got cut off by sweet lips pressing against her own.

“Is that what you want? You want me to be your girlfriend?” Clarke asked seriously, but her eyes showed that she also was nervous.

“I- uhm... Cla.. Yes. Clarke do you want to be my girlfriend?” Lexa asked and Clarke broke into the biggest smile before turning dead serious.

“Uuuuhm, no” Clarke said, trying to tease the other girl, but regretted it instantly when she saw the look on the other girl’s face.

“Y-you don’t?” Lexa asked, hurt written all over her face. Is this the blonde’s revenge for what happened? Did she not feel the same after all?

“No, Lexa, I mean yes! Of course I want to be your girlfriend” Clarke got closer to her. “I was just trying to mess with you. I- it was stupid, I want to be with you” she said as she hugged the girl, her girlfriend. She smiled to herself.

“Are you sure?” Lexa murmured into her hear.

“Yes, I’m absolutely sure. I would be an idiot if I wouldn’t want to” The blonde said before she pecked her lips softly.


“Thank you” Lexa whispered as they pulled apart. “Now girlfriend of mine, I promised you mama that I would check up on you. Let’s get you home” the brunette said before kissing her nose.

“Great! Now you can fuck me in my childhood bedroom” Clarke winked before she walked past her, leaving Lexa with very inappropriate pictures in her head.

 


After gathering some things they left Lexa’s apartment. They spent the drive to the blondes house in a comfortable silence and stole a few glances at each other. found it hard not to stare a the girl, her girlfriend, she smiled to herself. It felt like it happened very quickly, one second they, or she, was in denial. The next they were girlfriends.

“What are you smiling about?” Clarke broke the silence, looking at her with those big blue eyes.

“I- I was just thinking about you” Lexa said softly. “You make me smile”

Clarke just stared at her in awe and took a hold of the hand that was resting on the gear stick.

“You make me smile too, baby” Clarke said and kissed the top of her hand.


They reached the blondes house, and Lexa realized that she had never seen or been in her house before. The only time she visited this part of town was when she were looking at the house she bought.

“Come on, let’s go inside” Clarke said as they got out of the car.

As they walked up to the entrance she noticed the slight limp in Lexa’s step.

“Lexa, aren’t you supposed to use crutches?” Clarke asked in a motherly way.

“Yeah, I know, I just forgot them in the Trikru forest” the brunette smiled and her cheeks turned a little red.

“Here, you can support your weight on me” Clarke said and put her arm around her waist.

They walked into the house, Clarke opening the door. Clarke showed her around and they ended up in front of her bedroom. The door was decorated with stickers and different small drawings.

“Wow” Lexa breathed and looked at the door. She hadn’t expected the door to look so decorative, most teenagers would get rid of stuff like that.

“I uh, I keep them there because it... it reminds me of my dad. He uh, he helped me put them up when I was little, before h-he, before he died and I just, I can’t take it down.” The blonde explained and Lexa pulled her in for a hug. It was clear that the topic still pained the blonde, and Lexa didn’t want her to feel sad.

“It’s okay, I- I know he loves you, and I think it’s sweet that you still have them there. You don’t have to explain it to me” Lexa said softly and kissed the top of her head.

Clarke pulled away after a while and opened the door. Lexa walked inside and looked around. There was a queen sized bed in the middle of the room. A desk was placed in front of the window, with a view to the garden which had a pool. There was a door to her right and she assumed it was a bathroom. Clarke had decorated the roof over her bed with stars that looked like could glow in the dark, and there was a light chain over the headboard of the bed. She took in the little details like the paintings and pictures on the walls, her school books made a mess on the floor, and then she spotted one of the sketchbooks the blonde always seemed to carry around.

She turned around to look at the blonde, and leaned forward to kiss her.

“Your room is beautiful, but not even close to as beautiful as you are” The brunette whispered and kissed her again.

Clarke deepened the kiss. She wanted Lexa again, she wanted her to claim her and and fuck her. She was staring to get sore from earlier, but she didn’t care. She pulled away from the kiss and pulled her shirt over her head. She quickly got rid of her pants to and attacked Lexa’s lips again. She walked them over to her bed and gently pushed the brunette down.
Clarke looked at her and opened the zipper to her jeans, silently asking to take them off and Lexa got up and quickly got rid of them. She pulled her t-shirt over her head and took control of the kiss.

“Lexa..” Clarke moaned as she kissed down her neck again. Feeling herself harden, Lexa got rid of her boxers too.

“Lexa... sit on the bed. Please» Clarke said and pulled away from the brunette. Lexa obliged and sat down. Clarke got up and went to sit on her knees on the floor. She spread the brunette’s legs apart and took a hold of the cock.

“C-Clarke, you don’t have to do that” Lexa told her gently.

“I want to” Clarke husked before she took it in to her mouth, and pushed as far as she could go. Lexa nearly chocked on her spit when she felt the blondes nose touch her. Clarke started sucking gently, and then bobbed her head.

“Clarke” Lexa groaned as she watched her dick disappear into the girl’s mouth. The blonde started to suck harder and her hands went down to massage her balls.

“Baby, p-please” Lexa said as she felt her orgasm approaching. Clarke guided the brunette’s hands to her hair and Lexa pushed her head down and started to thrust into her mouth.

“Oh god” the brunette moaned moaned and upped the pace. “Clarke if y-you don’t want me to c-cum in your mouth, you h-ave to stop” Lexa warned, but Clarke didn’t stop, instead she started humming, sending vibrations down the shaft.

“Cl-Clarke!” Lexa gasped before she stilled and shot her cum down the blonde’s throat. “Oh my g.. Clarke” Lexa groaned as she felt her girlfriend swallow. She pulled out of her mouth and tugged her up.


“Was that okay?” Clarke asked as they lay down.

“Okay? Clarke that was amazing” The brunette said and kissed her.

“Now it is my turn” the blonde husked, and showed Lexa just how she likes it, long into the night before they got swept away by exhaustion.


The next morning, Lexa woke up remembering that she was supposed to call the blonde’s mother. She made up a lame excuse that she didn’t want to disturb her since got there late, and Abby somewhat believed her. 

 

She went back to bed after that and laid next to the blonde girl. Kissing her shoulder before going back to sleep, with no idea that Abby was only an hour away...

 

Chapter Text

Clarke jolted awake and sat upright in her bed. She stared at her bedroom door as she heard someone walking the stairs. She knew it wasn’t Lexa because she was sleeping next to her, so there was only one person it could be. Her mother.

She hurriedly started shaking the brunette to wake her up, and Lexa jolted awake too.

“What?” The brunette asked confused and looked at Clarke.

“I think my mom is home” Clarke whispered and Lexa’s eyes widened. They both looked horrified over to the door as the door handle started to move.

“Clarke?” They heard Abby’s voice. “Are you in there?”

Clarke wanted to die. This was it. Her mom would find out about them and she would get Lexa arrested, and she would probably kill her.

“Yes mom” she said gently and the door handle started to move again.

“Why is your door locked?”

“I um.. mom. Can you give me like two minutes?” Clarke asked gently. She needed lexa to be clothed for this and she probably needed to get dressed herself.

“Okay...” her mom said suspiciously.

Clarke hurriedly jumped out of bed and threw Lexa’s clothes at her, urging her to get dressed. She knew her mother was listening through the door.

They got dressed as quickly as they could and before Clarke opened the door to unleash the hell that waited on the other side, she quickly turned to face Lexa and kissed her lips gently.

“It will be okay” Clarke whispered before they parted and she turned to open the door.

She carefully unlocked it and opened it to find her mother on the other side with narrowed eyes.

“What’s going on?” Abby asked gently as she saw the other woman she assumed was Lexa.

“Mom, I... please don’t freak out. Can.. can we please go downstairs? We- I need to tell you something” The blonde said and walked through the door, Lexa following closely behind. Abby just watched them as they walked down the stairs. She had a feeling that she knew what her daughter was going to say, and she didn’t like. She didn’t like it at all, but she understood why.


They all gathered in the living room and sat down around the table. Clarke and lexa on one couch and Abby on the other. A few minutes passed before anyone dared to break the silence. Clarke was the first one to speak.

“Mom, I just want you to know that I love you and I hope you can understand this. I.. um. Lexa and I... we are.. we’re together. She is my girlfriend.” Clarke said and waited for her mother’s reaction. She expected yelling, furniture flying everywhere. She expected her to throw Lexa out before calling the police. What she didn’t expect was silence. Long heavy silence.

Abby just stared at them for a long time before she burst out laughing, not wanting to believe her. Her daughter couldn’t be in a relationship with her teacher, this had to be a joke.

“You can’t be serious” Abby said as her face turned dead serious. “How long has this been going on?”

“Um, well a couple of weeks, but we made it official between us yesterday” Clarke said quietly.

“Clarke... I.. this is illegal. I.. I don’t know what to say. A part of me wants to throw her out and ground you, but... I- I understand where you’re coming from, I do. I just.. and I know she makes you happy. I suspected you were seeing someone when I saw the smile on your face every time you came home from school. I just... she’s your teacher Clarke. It’s.. this is not okay” Abby said, struggling to find her words. She wasn’t prepared for this when she got home.

“And you..” She started and pointed at Lexa. “You should know better. I mean, it’s one thing for a student to have a crush on their teachers but a teacher falling for a student... I... Miss Woods, do you understand what you’re doing?”

“I know. I know. I... I tried to keep my distance. I did, truly. I just. It was so hard not to fall for your daughter, and I know it’s illegal, I know, but it was worth it. Every damn second. She is amazing and sweet and just so smart and talented. I’m sorry” Lexa answered as she looked over at Abby. The older woman still wanted to punch her in the face, but then again, this woman saved her daughters’ life. She would be forever grateful for that.

“I... miss Woods. May I ask you how old you are? In most cases this shit is irrelevant to know, I just need to hear it.” Abby asked gently. She knew she should call the cops and turn her in, but she had a feeling that it would break her daughter and ruin all the progress she’s had over the past year.

“I’m twenty three”

“Twenty three!? How are you even a teacher?” Abby asked surprised.

“I got ahead of my class and graduated early” Lexa replied honestly.

“I.. Okay. Um. I don’t know what to say. I mean... I should probably tell you to stay the fuck away from my daughter, but I... she hasn’t smiled or been so happy in a long time I.. I don’t want to take that away from her. But... I.. Clarke, if anyone else finds out about this it will not only affect Lexa, but our family as well. I just. I feel so conflicted right now.” Abby said, hoping her words made any sense.

“Mom, I know this will affect us all if anyone finds out. I... she makes me happy and makes me feel like a damn princess and that I’m actually worth something. Isn’t that enough.” Clarke said and looked between her mother and Lexa.
“I suppose. It’s just the fact that this is illegal, I.. Okay. I won’t tell anyone about it, I know this is wrong, but I, I trust that you know what you’re doing. And Lexa, I hope you’re aware of the consequences this might bring you.”

“Really? Are you serious?” Clarke asked surprised. Why was her mother like this? She never was this accepting before.

“Yes.. and um. I’m not really one to talk... But while we’re at such a serious topic, I need to tell you something too, Clarke.” Abby said.

“Okay? What is it?” The blonde asked curiously.

“I... the day before my wedding day... um. You remember how drunk I got.. and everyone was having fun, and I... Clarke, I kissed Raven..” Abby told her and Clarke froze. Her mom.. her mother... kissed Raven. Her best friend Raven. Raven Reyes. Her childhood friend.

“What!?” She yelled and Lexa flinched beside her. “I mean.. what? Why? How?” The blonde stuttered.

“We didn’t mean to, It was just an in the moment thing, and I.. Marcus was out with his friends and I was lonely.” Her mother explained.

“Wow. I mean... literally wow.. You should have told me! She’s my best friend” Clarke yelled.

“I’m sorry! Okay. Besides you’re no better... fucking around with your teacher... I raised you better than that.” Abby said in defense and crossed her arms. She didn’t realize how her words affected her daughter before she saw the tears in her eyes.

“Clarke..”

“You didn’t raise me. Dad did. And I told you literally a day after.. you.. you waited five damn months.” Clarke said before she got up and walked out of the house. Lexa quickly got up too and followed after her, leaving Abby in the living room alone.

 


“Clarke, hey, it’s okay, I-“ Lexa said as she approached her girlfriend, gently laying a hand on her shoulder only for Clarke to push it off. “Clarke?” She asked confused.

“It’s not okay! Non of this is okay! She’s gonna use this against me for the rest of my life! You don’t understand anything!!” The blonde yelled as she pushed Lexa away, tears starting to form in her eyes. “Maybe.. maybe my mother is right... maybe it’s best that we end this before it has the opportunity to start. I... you deserve better than hiding away with some student of yours.” Clarke said. She didn’t know where all this was coming from. She didn’t mean any of it. She had worked so hard to get Lexa to see her as something more, and now.. now she was telling her to go.

“Clarke. I.. “
“P.. please go..” The blonde cried.

“Clarke, I don’t care that you’re my student. I. Lo.. I like you, very much. You’re my girlfriend for crying out loud! We just got together and now... literally a day after.. now you want to end it?” Lexa asked. She could feel all of her emotions coming to the surface.

“Lexa we don’t have a future together! If someone finds out, you’ll go to jail! They will arrest you! Is that really worth it?” Clarke asked and Lexa wanted to scream out yes. Clarke wanted her to scream out yes. Lexa looked into her eyes, Clarke wanted to cry because she could already see the answer.

“Yes” The brunette said softly and took a step closer. “It will be worth every second of it.” She said as she closed the distance. She carefully leaned in to kiss Clarke, the blonde met her halfway. The kiss was soft and lasted shorter than Clarke would’ve liked to.

“Shall we go back inside?” Lexa asked carefully and Clarke nodded. They carefully went back inside, Lexa holding Clarke’s hand in hers. She was mad at Abby for upsetting her daughter, but tried not to let it show. She failed.

“Miss Griffin, if I may say something. I feel like you’re treating your daughter rather unfairly and wrong. I mean, she can’t help who she falls for. Neither can I, and neither can you. With that said, I think it’s time for me to leave. I’ll see you tomorrow Clarke” Lexa said and kissed Clarke on the head, before starting to walk towards the door, but stopping dead in her tracks at Abby’s next words.

“Excuse you. Miss Woods. No. Who do you think you are. Coming into my house, and tell me that I treat my daughter wrong. You’re no better! We’re in the same boat! The only difference is that yours is sinking. I’m sorry Clarke, but I thought about this whole thing while you were outside. I won’t allow this. You are not to see miss Woods except from school and if I as much as catch you two together, I won’t hesitate to call the cops. Do you hear me?” The older woman said, and Clarke turned to look at her mother in disbelief. Well that’s a 180 turn.

“What! Mom! You can’t do this!” Clarke started.

“I can.. and I will. If I catch you two together, you’re grounded...” Abby said.

“Mom... please don’t do this.” Clarke begged and casted a glance over to Lexa who looked like she was gonna cry any moment.

“Now.. If you could be so kind to leave, miss Woods. Trespassing is illegal” Abby said, and Clarke broke into tears.

“Lexa, please... say something. I.. I can’t lose you... I-“

“Okay” Lexa whispered before she turned her back to them and walked through the door.

“Lexa! N-no. Please... you said-“ Clarke ran after her and yelled.

“I lied... I.. it’s not worth it Clarke.” Lexa lied, hoping Clarke would forgive her later. This was so fucked up, but Abby looked like she was about to call the cops at any minute and she couldn’t have that. She would talk to Clarke first thing when she saw her next. She regretted her decision the second she saw the tears in the blondes eyes.

“No... no.. y-you can’t, you can’t say that! How can you say that.” Clarke cried. She couldn’t take this. Her heart was breaking and she could feel it shattering into a thousand pieces. They were fine a few moments ago. This was all happening so fast.

“I’m sorry” Lexa said as she got into her car. This was exactly what she didn’t want earlier, and she would never forgive herself for hurting the blonde. Never.

She drove home as fast as she could. She needed to call the blonde and tell her she didn’t mean it. She had to. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself knowing she possibly ruined something great.

Ten minutes later she pulled up to her apartment. She quickly got out of her car and ran the stairs two at a time. She locked herself into her apartment and grabbed her phone. She dialed Clarke’s number, but it got directly to voicemail. She tried again, but no answer. She tried five more times before she gave up and sent her some texts.


Lexa: Clarke, please answer me. I lied. I’m so sorry. Of course it’s worth it.

Lexa: Please. I need to know you’re alright. Clarke. I can’t forgive myself. Please. I need to know.

Lexa: I really fucked up didn’t I?

Lexa: Clarke, I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back. I should have stayed. I know I should’ve. I just... I don’t know what I was thinking.

Lexa: Please tell me I didn’t ruin us. That I ruined this. It’s worth it. I never should have said what I did. I care about you. So much.

She sent them and fell down on the couch. She waited for half an hour. She felt horrible. Why didn’t she stay. She should have stayed. Damn it. She threw her phone across the room after waiting another twenty minutes with no reply. She punched the couch as she burst into tears and her scream filled the empty apartment. She cried herself to sleep and didn’t know what time it was when she woke up to someone knocking on her door. She grumbled to herself as she slowly got up to open it. She didn’t bother to see who it was before she opened the door.

On the other side stood the last person she expected to see 11 pm at her door.

“Mr Kane?” She asked confused. Why was he here. Did Abby send him to beat her up? Was Clarke alright?

“Hi, miss Woods, may I come in?”

“Yeah, um yes, sure.” She answered and gestured for him to walk inside.
“Why are you here?” She asked curiously as she studied the man.

“To be honest, I have no idea. When I got home earlier Clarke was an emotional wreck and Abby was, well, being Abby. So I asked them what was going on and Abby told me that you and Clarke are in a relationship...” he started to say, and Lexa paled. Oh no. He knew. At the expression on her face he quickly added. “I’m not gonna tell anyone. I just. Clarke locked herself in her room when Abby took her phone, and she, Well, um. She refused to come out until one of us took her to you. So that’s basically what I’m doing here. She is waiting in the car.” He explained awkwardly and scratched the back of his head.

“You’re not mad? Or upset with me or her?” Lexa asked surprised.

“Well, no, but I.. I don’t like the idea of her being in a relationship with her teacher, but the fact that it is you, makes it easier to accept. I know you, and you’re a sweet and caring person, and It’s only 5 years between you, and it’s 7 years between me and Abby. I’m just glad it wasn’t some old man. I know it must be weird hearing it from another teacher, but I think you guys make a great team, despite being teacher and student. I mean, if it’s acceptable in other countries, why not here? Love is love, right?” Marcus said with an awkward smile.

“I... yeah. Thank you” Lexa said softly.

“Clarke is outside waiting for you.” He said gently and encouraged her to go outside.


Lexa ran down the stairs as fast as she could and spotted Clarke immediately as she walked through the door.

“Clarke” she said and her voice cracked at the end. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean it, I swear. You mean so much to me, and I just I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry” She cried as she approached her

“Lexa, Hey, Hey, Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry. I know you’re sorry. We’re not ruined, just a little bruised, Okay?” Clarke said and enveloped her in a hug.

“When You didn’t answer I thought... I..th” The brunette said and her sentence died in her throat, taken over by a sob.

“My mom took my phone.” The blonde said, and hugged her closer.

“I-I only said it because sh-she threatened to call the cops. I wasn’t thinking. I don’t know why I said it” The brunette cried into her shoulder.


“I guess I’ll go home” they heard Marcus say as he approached them.

“Thank you, Marcus.” Clarke said to him.

“You’re welcome. I’ll tell your mom I dropped you off at Harper’s house” he winked at her and she laughed. She mouthed a thank you, back at him, before kissing the brunette’s head.

 

“Lexa, hey. It’s okay. I’m here. We’re not ruined. I promise.” The blonde whispered in her ear.

“I’ll never let you go” Lexa whispered and tightened her grip.

“I never want you to” Clarke whispered back, as they made their way inside. Maybe things could work out between them after all. They would keep their relationship hidden. No PDA, only behind closed doors, at least until Clarke graduates. It felt like a fresh start for them, and they once again fell asleep in each other’s arms.

 

 

Chapter Text

Things working out was a lot easier than they thought it would be. Now that Lexa had moved to the same neighborhood it got a lot easier for Clarke to sneak out of her house and over to Lexa’s. She had made a routine over the past week to wait until her mother had fallen asleep before she would climb out her window and over to the tree in the garden. She nearly fell down one of the first times she tried to do it, but lucky for her the arm of the hoodie she was wearing got stuck to one of the branches, keeping her from falling down.

It was the start of winter break, and the last few weeks of school had been though. Clarke barely made it through the final tests, and that was only because Lexa helped her prepare for most of them. They hadn’t spent as much time together as before Abby caught them, but they somehow ended up getting to see each other almost every day. Today was not one of those days.

Clarke found herself getting dragged to some lame party, and though it wasn’t snowing it was still fucking freezing outside. In Clarke’s opinion at least. She hadn’t even wanted to go, but Lexa insisted that she should have some fun with her friends now that she was done with school for this semester.

So that’s how Clarke found herself a few hours later. Drunk and cheering with her friends as her team beat the boys in beer pong.

“Yaaas Queen!” Raven shouted as Octavia downed the last ball in the cup.

“I don’t even know why you guys try” Octavia said as she turned to walk over to the mountain muscle of a man in a corner. She had briefly told them that she was seeing someone, and as she walked over to the man, Clarke could see Bellamy’s glare from miles away.

“Bell, let it go.” She said as she approached him and put a hand on his stomach to calm him down. She had learned over the years that it was the most efficient way to calm him.

“I don’t like him” he stated simply and the group chuckled.

“Yeah, we know” Raven said as she passed them.


“I think I’ll get some fresh air. Don’t do anything stupid, Bell.” Clarke said before she walked outside. There was a slight stumble in her step, but she wasn’t too drunk.


After sitting outside for a while she suddenly felt the presence of someone behind her. She had sent Lexa a couple of texts telling her that she would come over after the party, and Lexa had agreed to pick her up at one am.

“Hey, princess” Clarke heard and stiffened slightly at the voice.

“What do you want Finn?” The blonde said, kind of annoyed that her ex was a part of their group. He never fully accepted their breakup, and it drove her mad that he had the audacity to come talk to her whenever he wanted to.

“Just checking up on ya. Y-ou suddenly disappeared” he slurred slightly and Clarke grew more uncomfortable by the second.


“Well I’m fine. Now go bother someone else” Clarke said, not leaving room for questions, but Finn still stood there unbudging. She pulled on her hoodie more fully and got up to leave. She didn’t expect for Finn to grab her arm, and before she knew what were happening she felt dry chapped lips against her own. It took her brain two whole seconds to realize what was happening and she pushed him away as hard as she could. She felt disgusted with herself for not pushing him away sooner.

“Dammit Finn! What the hell!” She yelled before she stormed away, leaving him lying on the ground to stare after her.


Clarke walked inside the house again and grabbed her bag and jacket, ready to get the hell out of there. She hurriedly said goodbye to her friends who had a thousand questions in their eyes, and dialed Lexa’s number as she walked out on the pavement. The brunette picked up on the second ring.

“Hello? Clarke? Are you all right?” Clarke heard the worried tone in her girlfriends voice.

“Can you please come pick me up now?” Clarke asked as tears slowly began to fall from her eyes.

“Yes, of course, I’ll be there in five minutes. Stay safe» The brunette said. She could tell that Clarke was upset and that something was wrong because the clock was barely twelve.

Clarke sat down on one of the benches and waited for Lexa to arrive. What was she gonna say to her girlfriend? What if Lexa gets angry at her? So many thoughts ran through her mind. She looked up when a car stopped in front of her. She saw Lexa hurriedly get out of the car and run up to her.

“Clarke, Hey, are you okay?” The brunette said softly as she crouched in front of her. The only thing Clarke could do was shake her head before a sob escaped her lips.

“Oh baby. It’s okay. I’m here, let’s get into to the car, okay? It’s freezing out here” Lexa said as she helped Clarke get into her car. She helped her buckle the belt before she climbed into the drivers side. She looked over to the blonde and Clarke stared blankly at the dashboard.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lexa asked softly, which made Clarke cry again because her girlfriend was too perfect for this world. She felt like the worst person in the world. She felt dirty. It felt like she had cheated on her.

“Can w-we just go h..home?” Clarke asked quietly after a few moments of silence. She knew she had to tell her what happened, but she felt so ashamed at the moment and she needed to be sober for Lexa’s reaction. She would do it in the morning.

“Of course” Lexa said before she started the engine and turned up the heat in the car to warm them up. The drive back took ten minutes, and Clarke managed to fall asleep. She was exhausted from all the crying and her overthinking mind.

Lexa walked out of the car carefully and over to the passenger side where Clarke was sleeping. She didn’t want to wake her up, and she figured Clarke needed the sleep from whatever happened at the party. She gently opened the door and scooped Clarke into her arms, before she walked over to her front door.

Once inside she walked up the stairs with the blonde in her arms and carefully placed her on the bed. She changed the blondes clothes from what she was wearing into a large t-shirt, before she draped the duvet over her. After making sure Clarke was all right she went down to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and some ibuprofen for when her girlfriend woke up in the morning.

She carefully placed them on the bedside table and jumped slightly when she saw that the blonde was awake.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you” Lexa said softly.

“You didn’t” Clarke whispered and studied her girlfriend. She could tell that Lexa was worried about something and she knew that it was most likely her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course I am. I just... you know you can tell me anything, right?” The brunette said as she crouched down at the bedside.

“Yeah, I know. I just... I want to be sober when I tell you” Clarke explained and Lexa let out a relieved breath. She really hoped Clarke would tell her what was bothering her. If she had upset the blonde in any way she would never forgive herself.

“Okay” Lexa smiled softly at her before she got up and walked over to the other side of the bed. She climbed under the duvet and smiled when she felt Clarke snuggle close to her.

 


—————


Lexa woke up to an empty bed, and to be honest she was a bit disappointed. She got up and walked around her new house in hopes that the blonde maybe had gotten up and was hanging out in her living room or kitchen, but no such luck.

She picked up her phone and tried to call her, but she got directly to voicemail. The blonde must have turned off her phone. Why was the blonde ignoring her? Did she do something wrong? What the hell was happening? She sent her a couple of messages before she sat down on her couch with head in her hands and sighed.


—————


“Clarke, slow down, I don’t understand. Hey” Raven said as Clarke walked through her door at nine in the morning. She walked after her friend as she plopped down on her couch and threw her head back. The familiar stinging behind her eyes again.

“Dammit. I.. Finn kissed me! Why!? What the hell?” Clarke said as Raven sat down next to her.

“What!? He did? Clarke! Is that why you left? Have you told Lexa yet?” Raven asked concerned. She was so gonna make that bastard go boom.

“No I haven’t told her yet. I.. I don’t want to hurt her, and I know she will get upset” Clarke explained and shook her head. Oh god, Lexa was so going to dump her now. This is it.

“Clarke... you not telling her will hurt her. You’re probably worrying her now by not being in her bed when she wakes up” Raven said. She wasn’t trying to worry her friend, but Clarke needed to get her shit together and tell her girlfriend what is wrong.

“I know. I.. oh god she is totally gonna break up with me. I can’t lose her because of this. I can’t. We worked so hard to get where we are now and then Finn comes and fuck everything up and I can’t even tell my girlfriend beca-“

“Clarke calm down. This is miss hot stuff we’re talking about. She adores you. There is no way in hell She’s breaking up with you. Just breathe okay. And answer her texts. Your phone screen has lit up ten times the past minute” The Latina said and threw the phone over at Clarke, and sure enough Clarke had five missed calls and six texts from her girlfriend.

 

Lexa: Hey Clarke, I just woke up and you’re not here and I’m wondering where you are. Please text me back.

 

Lexa: Clarke, I don’t know if I’ve done something to upset you, but whatever it is, I’m sorry. Please call me.

 

Lexa: Babe. Please just call me back. I need to know that you’re all right at least. I care about you so much, I can’t live with myself if you get hurt.

 

Lexa: I know I’m being a pain at this point, but please just let me know you’re okay?

 

Lexa: I’m assuming that you’re just having a bad day and need some space. I guess I’ll see you when you’re ready? I’m sorry if I did or said something to upset you.

 


Clarke read them all and damn it Lexa wasn’t to blame for all this. How could The brunette think that this was her fault? A sob escaped her lips and Raven looked at her concerned.

“Clarke? Are you okay?”

“Oh my god. I have to tell her. Raven, she thinks it is her fault, that I’m upset.” Clarke breathed out. She felt so sick and disgusted by herself right now. She had to see Lexa. She needed to make up for all of this.


————


Lexa had been laying on her couch watching Disney movies all day. Clarke hadn’t returned any of her texts yet, and she was starting to worry. Was the blonde going to break up with her? No? Just as Dumbo flies for the first time there was a knock at her door. She got up slowly, not really in the mood for human interactions at the moment.

She sighed as she opened the door, but her demeanor changed when she saw that Clarke was on the other side.

“Hi” Clarke breathed softly as she took in her girlfriend. She could tell that Lexa had been having a bad day.

“Hey, you’re here” Lexa said a bit shocked. She wasn’t expecting to see Clarke before she had gotten some sort of reply to her messages.

“Yes, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left this morning, I was just overwhelmed and not thinking straight. I.. could we maybe talk?” Clarke rambled and Lexa chuckled softly. “Yeah. Sure, come in” she said and gestured for Clarke to enter. They both walked over to the couch and Clarke sat down so she could face Lexa.

“I.. at the party yesterday. Finn he.. he kissed me, and I’m so sorry. I was drunk and I didn’t realize what was happening until it happened. But I pushed him away. Right away when I caught up. And then I was gonna tell you when you picked me up but I didn’t know how without hurting you and then this morning I freaked out and just ran away again and I know I’m the worlds most horrible girlfriend at the moment but I can’t lose you, I can’t-“

“Clarke. Hey slow down. It’s okay, you’re not gonna lose me” Lexa said as she stopped the blonde from rambling. “Hey, baby look at me. Take deep breaths” The brunette spoke softly as Clarke’s breath calmed down.

“I’m sorry” The blonde sniffled and Lexa wiped her eyes gently. She was a bit upset at the fact that Finn had kissed Clarke, but not for the reasons Clarke was thinking.

“Clarke, it’s okay. I trust you” Lexa said and pulled the blonde closer.

“I feel like I’ve cheated on you, oh my god I’m the worst human in the world. Lexa I am so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner” Clarke said into her shoulder as the brunette rubbed her back gently.

“Then why didn’t you?” The brunette asked. She knew the answer, she just wanted her girlfriend to say it out loud.

“I got scared. I know it sound stupid, but when I didn’t have the courage to tell you the same night, I felt like you’d be more angry because I waited to tell you. I didn’t mean to ignore you, or hurt you, and I’m sorry” The blonde explained and Lexa felt like she had to tell her something really important.

“Clarke. I need to tell you something, and I want you to remember this okay?” Lexa started and she could feel Clarke nodding against her. “There is no way. And I mean no way, I will ever be angry at you for something you can’t control. You couldn’t have known he was gonna do that, how can I be mad about that?” Lexa said gently and Clarke chuckled slightly.

“I don’t know” the blonde said back and looked at her girlfriend.

“You’re really beautiful, Clarke” Lexa said as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, making Clarke blush.

“I’m still sorry” Clarke whispered and her eyes drifted down to her lips.

“It’s okay, I forgive you. For future notice though, don’t be afraid to tell me stuff like this, I won’t get mad at you. Finn on the other hand, I won’t promise I’ll take it easy on him” Lexa said and teased slightly making Clarke laugh.

“Thank you for not hating me. When I got here I wasn’t sure if you were gonna break up with me or not” Clarke whispered as she snuggled closer to Lexa.

“Clarke I could never hate you, quite opposite actually, I lo.. I love you” The brunette said and when she looked at Clarke again she was crying again.

“Oh Clarke don’t cry. You don’t have to say it back, I just needed you to know and-“

“I love you too. How are you this perfect?” Clarke said and Lexa just laughed before she leaned forward to kiss her.

“I’m not even half as perfect as you, Clarke” Lexa said when she pulled back and gently stroked her girlfriends cheek.


“Do you mind if I stay the night?” The blonde asked shyly and Lexa smiled at her. “Of course not. You can stay here whenever you want, Okay? I love having you over”

“Thank you”

“I really love you Clarke.”

“Yeah, you better. I worked so hard to get you” Clarke teased and Lexa burst out laughing.


“And I really love you too, Lexa”.

Chapter Text

“Ah! Lexa.. oh god! Yes!! Baby, just like that! Fuck!” Clarke moaned as Lexa pumped into her. It was Christmas morning and Clarke had used that opportunity to sneak over to her girlfriends house. It was nearly seven, which meant Clarke had to be home before nine because that’s when her mother would wake her up for their usual Christmas breakfast that started at ten.

“Oh god! Clarke, you feel so fucking good” Lexa grunted as she pushed harder into her. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, and Clarke couldn’t even begin to tell how turned on she was by it.

Lexa could feel the familiar tingling in her balls and she felt her orgasm approach too quick for her liking. She had to make Clarke cum first.

“L-lexa! Baby, don’t stop... please don’t stop” the blonde moaned and Lexa nearly dies every time Clarke says her name like that.

“Ah, that’s it baby. You’re taking my dick so good. You’re so good, such a good girl. God I love you so much” Lexa panted and she could feel Clarke clenching around her shaft.

“Lexa! Fu-uck!” Clarke whimpered as she came, and seconds later the brunette exploded inside of her. Lexa went limp on top of her as she came down from her high. Lexa didn’t know how long she laid on top of Clarke like that, but soft kisses to her face and a gentle hand caressing her back brought her back to reality.


“You’re really good at that” Clarke whispered softly into her hair.

“You’re not so bad yourself” Lexa said before connecting their lips in a sweet kiss, before slowly pulling out of her girlfriend making her moan softly.

“Merry Christmas, Clarke” The brunette said before she disappeared into the bathroom to clean up.

Clarke hurriedly got out of bed too and followed Lexa into the bathroom. She walked up behind her and gently wrapped her arms around her. “Merry Christmas to you too” she said as she placed a soft kiss to her shoulder. “I wish I could just spend my day here with you” the blonde murmured quietly.

“Yeah, me too. Someday though. You should probably head back soon. We don’t want Dr.Griffin to suspect anything” Lexa said with a smirk and Clarke chuckled lightly at her. “Yeah, probably”. Clarke said and quickly pecked her lips before jumping in the shower.


—————

Clarke climbed into her room through the window with ten minutes to spare. She laid under the covers and waited patiently for her mother to knock on the door. At exactly nine she heard the knock, and the door opened slowly. Clarke pretended to stir in the sheets and she heard the person who walked in chuckle. That was not her mother’s voice. She bolted upright and stared wide eyed at Lexa holding a cup of hot coco in her hands.

“Lexa! What the hell!?” She yelled and her mother came walking in behind her girlfriend.

“I called her over for Christmas breakfast. Her parents are coming over for dinner later” Abby said as she approached her daughter to sit on her bed. Clarke just stared at her mother wide eyed and open mouthed. What the hell!?


“Oh please. Clarke. I knew I couldn’t keep you apart, and I know you’ve been sneaking out of your room at night.” Her mother said and Lexa chuckled. She knew what was about to happen.


“Mom! How long have you known? And why is Lexa looking so smug. What the hell is happening. The last time you two were in the same room you were ready to serve her ass to the cops” Clarke said a bit shocked and frustrated.

“Well, I had a chat with Marcus, and he explained some stuff to help me understand this situation better, and then Lexa showed up at the hospital for a normal checkup a few weeks ago and I apologized for attacking her like I did. I think we got off to a wrong start and we met up for coffee a week ago, she told me she loves you, so I invited her for Christmas” Abby said in one breath and Clarke were still in shock.

“So you’re okay? With this? With us? Me dating my teacher?” The blonde asked as she looked between her mother and Lexa.

“I know it’s not the most ideal time, but yes. I’m okay with it. Just don’t do anything stupid to put my reputation to damage” Abby said before she got up and left the room.

 


“Lexa! What the hell! Why didn’t you tell me?”


“I wanted to surprise you. And now we get to meet the parents” Lexa said with a smirk and Clarke doesn’t know is she wants to kiss her or slap her across the face.

“God, You are so lucky I love you. Dammit” Clarke said as she pulled her in for a kiss. “I love you too. Now let’s get ready for breakfast”. Lexa said as she dragged Clarke down the stairs.

They each got a gift from Abby to open right away, and Clarke burst out laughing when they each got a huge onesie. Lexa got an elf and she got a reindeer. They changed into them and Clarke couldn’t stop laughing at her girlfriend. Lexa looked too cute and she really wanted to rip the onesie of her and have her way with her.


“Clarke, it’s not funny” Lexa whined as she got pulled in for a kiss.

“You just look so adorable” Clarke said and pinched her cheeks.


“Okay people, gather around for the annual Christmas picture” Abby said and the rest of the delinquents walked through the door in onesies Abby had given them. Even Finn. And Lexa couldn’t help but glare at the boy as he walked through the door of her girlfriends house.

 

—————


The tension around the table were so thick it could be cut with a knife. The fact that Finn had taken up the space beside Clarke made Lexa angry. They couldn’t display their relationship while the others were there, and when Abby caught on to the fact that only a handful of them knew about them she had come up with a lame excuse that Lexa’s parents were old friends of them and that the brunette had used to come over before Clarke was born.

She was sitting on the other side of the table from Clarke. She had Bellamy on one side, and Raven on the other. All she wanted to do was be able to sit next to Clarke, but she couldn’t. Not with so many in the room. Abby almost looked sorry for her when she sat there staring longingly at her girlfriend.

The day drew along slowly after that. After breakfast they ended up playing board games, and Lexa tried to be on a team with Clarke, but Finn beat her to that too. She sat around the table, teamed up with Raven, so she at least had someone there to back her.

Everything went smoothly, or well as smoothly as the circumstances would allow, until Finn placed his hand on Clarke’s thigh, laughing at something she was saying to Octavia. Lexa saw red, and she needed to get out of there. She could tell that Clarke were uncomfortable, and the worst part was that she couldn’t do anything about it without drawing questions from the others. She abruptly stood up and excused herself from the games.

Abby saw her leaving, and signaled for Clarke to stay put as she followed after the brunette. She saw Lexa walking into Clarke’s room and waited for a few seconds before knocking on the door.

“Lexa?” She said gently as she sat down on the bed next to her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to run of like that it’s just... I.. She.. I love her. And I can’t stand Finn. I can’t stand his face or him making my girlfriend uncomfortable” Lexa said in one breath and Abby placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was still a part of their group after Clarke broke up with him. I really didn’t. I can throw him out if you want?” The older woman said and Lexa laughed.

“You don’t have to throw him out. I can handle it. I think. I just don’t like the way he looks at Clarke. It makes me uncomfortable, and I can’t think rationally when I see him because he kissed Clarke a week ago, and she was really upset about it and I tho-“

“Hold on for a second there. Lexa. Finn kissed her? My daughter?”

“Yes, it was at the party Clarke was at and she called me just before twelve crying on the phone” Lexa explained and Abby had a mischievous look on her face.

“You know. Even though it would be rude to throw him out, I have other ways to embarrass him during this evening. Or you know, you could just go down there and tell everyone you’re together.” Abby said and shrugged. She knew the last one was a bad option.

“I’ll just have to keep it together for this evening.” Lexa said as she fell back on the bed.

“Oh come on honey. Don’t be so dramatic. It’s a few lousy hours before they leave. It will be okay.” Abby said reassuringly before slowly standing up.

“I’ll be down in a few minutes” Lexa said and Abby nodded at her with understanding.


—————


Downstairs Clarke was restless. She couldn’t stand the way Finn was touching her and talking to her. And now Lexa was gone too. She didn’t even know what her mother was doing to her girlfriend at the moment.

When Abby came downstairs without Lexa she had enough. She stood up and walked directly over to her mother and demanded answers.

“Mom, What did you do?” Clarke asked with raised brows.

“She wasn’t feeling well, so I went to check on her” her mother said softly and Clarke felt sick. Lexa wasn’t feeling well because she had let Finn touch her because she didn’t want him or the others to suspect anything. Oh god.

“Why don’t you go and check on her for me Clarke. Bring her a bottle of water” Abby said loud enough for the rest of the group hear her and Clarke raced up the stairs.


She didn’t hesitate when she opened the door and knelt down in front of Lexa.


“Lexa... I..”

“Don’t apologize for what he does. You can’t control it” Lexa said before Clarke had the opportunity to apologize.

“I know. I just. I’m tired... of hiding. And really, it’s just Jasper, Monty, Bellamy, Octavia, Finn and Murphy who doesn’t know. Maybe.. maybe we should just tell them. I want to be able to kiss my girl for Christmas.” Clarke said and Lexa smiled.

“Are you sure?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded. A broad smile across her face.

“Well maybe not Finn. He’ll probably put us out to the world. But we should let the others know. They’re loyal.” Clarke added and Lexa laughed at her.

“Yeah.”

“Oh and we should probably get changed for dinner soon” Clarke said as she helped Lexa up. They split up, Clarke walking into the bathroom down the hall, and Lexa taking the bathroom in Clarke’s room.


They all gathered downstairs when the clock turned six and everyone was nicely dressed. Clarke was wearing a tight fitting red dress, with her favorite pair of black heels. Octavia was wearing her navy blue long dress. Raven was wearing her usual black cocktail dress, and the boys wore their suits.

Clarke’s mouth fell open when she spotted Lexa in a dark green dress, tight around the breast and loose from her waist to just above her knees. Without a care she strode over to her girlfriend and kissed her without thinking. She didn’t care what people were thinking about them.

“What the fuck!” They were all startled by Finns shout. He looked so angry and pissed off and everyone stared at him in shock.

“What?” Clarke said, daring him to voice his opinion.

“You’re together with her!? She’s a freak! Is this why you keep rejecting me!? Because of this bitch! She’s our teacher!? Do you know how gross this is!” Finn kept shouting and everyone in the room stared at him. Lexa was so uncomfortable at this point she just hoped no one outed her little secret. And more importantly, how the fuck does Finn know?


Before anyone in the room could say anything, a man cleared his throat from the entrance of the house, and with him was a woman that looked a lot like Lexa.

“What did you call my daughter?” The large bearded man said lowly and Finn paled.

“You-w What?” Finn said and cowered under his intense glare.

“I asked you a question boy. What did you call my daughter?” He said slowly and everyone waited for him to answer. Clarke took a hold of Lexa’s hand to support her.

“No-nothing. I said nothing”

“Yeah, well that’s not what I heard. If you ever come near my daughter again, you get with me to do. You hear me?” The man said and Finn nodded his head.


“I think it would be best if you leave. Finn” Abby said from where she was standing. And the rest of the group stared him down, daring him to protest. The boy put his hands up in surrender before he grabbed his stuff and walked out the door.


“I never really liked that kid” Abby said as she turned to introduce herself to the newcomers. “You must be Gustus? And you must be Anastasia?” Abby said as she shook their hands. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. I know you are busy with your business and Lawyer work” she said and gestured them to come inside.

 

With a little awkwardness in the air they all gathered around the dinner table and sat down to eat the turkey Abby and Marcus had prepared the whole day. The conversation flowed easily between them and Lexa could finally find her spot next to Clarke, where she had longed to be since this morning. Maybe everything could work out smoothly for them after all.

They sat there enjoying the company of friends, family and loved ones while the familiar tunes of old Christmas classics played in the background and the cracking of the fire filled the room.

 

————


Lexa sighed as she laid down in her girlfriends bed. Abby had allowed it because her daughter was an adult, but mainly because Gustus and Anastasia had gotten the guest room. She waited patiently for Clarke to come out of the bathroom and turned to look at the picture of Clarke and her father on her night table.


In the bathroom Clarke was done brushing her teeth and filled a glass of water to wash out her mouth. She gurgled a bit to get all the toothpaste before she spit it out. Then she open the cabinet to take her pill and that’s when she noticed something wrong.


She had forgotten to take her pill the past two days....

Chapter Text

As Clarke was walking to her art class she was hit with an immense wave of nausea. She stumbled slightly and had to grab a locker to keep herself from falling, but then she felt her stomach churn. She messily made her way into the bathroom at the end of the hall and barely made it in time before the contents of her stomach came up. She threw up everything she had eaten that morning and she suddenly felt dizzy. She knelt over the bowl until she deemed herself ready to go outside.

As she made her way to class again everything turned black and she fell against the wall before sinking to the floor.

That’s how Lexa found her when she was on her way to the classroom.

“Clarke? Clarke! Hey? Are you okay?” She said as she hurried off towards her girlfriend. Clarke was sweating and shaking her head against the wall.

“I don’t feel so good” Clarke mumbled and fell into Lexa’s touch.

“Okay, I.. I’ll get you to the nurses office okay? Can you walk?” The brunette asked and Clarke shook her head. “I tried, I just get dizzy and fall over. I’m sorry” Clarke said and lexa shook her head.

“Clarke, you don’t have to apologize for this. It’s not your fault you’re feeling unwell.” The brunette said and gently picked her up. Lexa was so thankful in that moment that she wasn’t wearing heels.

She walked Clarke down to the nurses office and stayed with her until she got called in.

“Will you be okay? I can stay with you if you want” The brunette said softly and Clarke smiled up at her.

“I will be fine. Now go drive your students insane with boring art history” Clarke said gently and Lexa snorted at her before she got up to leave.

“Let me know if you’re not coming to class later this week, Okay?” She said before she disappeared behind the corner. Clarke slowly got up and walked into the office to get examined. She sat down on the table and waited for the nurse to type her information into the computer system.

 

“Okay miss Griffin, how long have you been feeling nauseous?”

 


—————


Lexa couldn’t focus. She just couldn’t. She had gone through most of the early nineteenth hundreds art history and gave her students the task to make an oral presentation about one of the artists from that specific time period. She was sitting and following up on students with questions, but her mind kept wandering to Clarke. What made the blonde collapse in the hallway? Was Clarke gonna tell her? Was Clarke okay?


“Hey, Miss Woods?” Harper said as she walked up to her. “Yes, Miss McIntyre?” She answered, her eyes never leaving the screen in front of her. “Could you maybe help me with my art project? It’s in the back room and I’m stuck” Harper said. She could tell something was up with Lexa.


“Yes of course” Lexa said and stood up and followed her to the backroom to her project. Harper closed the door behind them and turned to look at Lexa with raised eyebrows.

“Tell me what’s bothering you miss Woods. I know there is something, and Clarke is not here, so spit it out. What’s up” Harper demanded and Lexa stood there unmoving for a few seconds before she caught on. Harper didn’t need help with the project.

“Clarke collapsed in the hallway this morning and I’m worried about her” Lexa said and Harper gasped.

“Where is she?”

“At the nurses office, I.. I have to know she’s okay” Lexa said as she started to pace around in the room.

“Lexa. You’re the teacher. Just send everyone home and wrap up early” Harper said and Lexa lit up.

“Yes! Harper you’re a genius” Lexa said as she pulled her in for a hug. She quickly walked out and into the classroom again.


“Okay students! Listen up. I have something that came up, and I have to leave, which means I will let you out early. But! I except everyone to be ready to have their oral presentations ready when we meet again on Thursday!” She said loudly, not leaving any room for questions. She quickly packed her things and exited the classroom. She had to find Clarke.

 


—————


“Miss Griffin? Are you okay?” The nurse asked as Clarke started crying. This was not happening. This couldn’t be happening. How did this happen? She was so careful. They were so careful. She stared down at the results from her blood test and the tears wouldn’t stop. She was so screwed. Literally. She knew that skipping the pill was bad, she should have known that this would happen. Yet a part of her thought it would be okay to just continue as normal and pretend that she didn’t skip it.

“Is there any chance that this might be wrong? That the test is wrong?” Clarke asked and the nurse sadly shook her head no.

“I mean. You could take another pregnancy test, but the answers will be the same.” The nurse said and Clarke was shaking at this point. Lexa was totally going to dump her now. She had no idea what to do. Her mother would kill her. This was not happening.

“Miss Griffin. It is not too late to have an abortion, you’re nine weeks pregnant. You still have three to four weeks to decide what you want to do with it. And you may want to inform the other parent” the woman said. Clarke didn’t know what to do. For the first time since her dad died, she felt helpless. Like the world was consuming her.

“I-I’m sorry. I ha-have to go” Clarke said as she got up and walked as fast as she could down the hallway. God she was so stupid. She isn’t ready to be a mom, or is she?

She turned a corner and bumped into someone.

“Shit I’m sorry” She said, and then she noticed that it was Lexa and her pulse quickened.

“Clarke? Are you okay?” The brunette asked concerned and Clarke shook her head, not knowing what to do with herself.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay” Lexa tried to reassure, not knowing what was going on. Clarke kept shaking her head and the sobs that escaped her lips broke Lexa’s heart more than anything.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I... I can’t be here. I have to- I have to go home. I’m so sorry Lexa” Clarke said as she slowly backed away from the brunette.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked as Clarke started to walk away from her. “Clarke?!” She said louder and Clarke shook her head as she disappeared around a coroner. Lexa had no idea what was going on. What the hell was happening? Was Clarke sick? Or worse! Was she dying? She had to find out.


————


“Clarke? What’s wrong?” Raven said as Clarke laid down on her bed. She had decided to ditch the rest of her classes for the day when the blonde had come to her crying earlier. The blonde hadn’t really explained what was going on, but Raven knew that whatever it was, it was important.

“I-I’m p.. pr... Raven. I have to tell you something. And you can’t tell anyone. Okay?” Clarke said and Raven nodded. “You have to promise.” The blonde said.

“Okay, I promise. I won’t tell anyone” The Latina said and Clarke looked at her for a few moments.

“Okay. Uhm. I.. Lexa is intersex. She.. she has male reproductive organs.” Clarke started and Raven gasped.

“Clarke! Is that why you’re like this? You guys finally did the do and you dump her because of a dick? Is that why you’re upset?” Raven said and Clarke shook her head no.

“No! God. I haven’t broken up with her. I won’t do it because of that. I don’t want to break up with her at all. I’m worried that she will break up with me” Clarke said and Raven waited for her to continue. Why would Lexa break up with her friend?

“I.. Raven. I’m pregnant. Nine weeks.” Clarke said quickly and closed her eyes.

“Are you. Are you sure?” Raven asked and Clarke nodded.

“Hahah! Good one Griffin. You almost had me there” Raven laughed hysterically.

Clarke took the papers up from her backpack and threw them at her friend and Raven stopped abruptly. Her eyes widened when she realized what she was reading.

“Holy shit! You really are pregnant! Wow. Am I gonna be an aunt or are you having an abortion?” Raven asked and Clarke shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do Rae. I just feel so lost right now” Clarke breathed out and Raven pulled her in for a hug. “It’s gonna be alright, Griffin. I’m here for you” Raven reassured her and stroked her back gently. “You should Tell Lexa. She has a right to know”

“Yeah, I know” Clarke breathed. She was just so scared to tell her girlfriend.


————


Telling Lexa was harder than Clarke thought it would be. Every time she decided to try either something came up or she chickened out. The fact that she had ignored her girlfriend for the past days to avoid the topic didn’t help either. When Lexa asked her over, she would come up with a lame excuse that she had to study for her midterms.
She knew she was being unfair, but she couldn’t help it. She was scared. Like really out of her mind terrified of what might happen. She had decided, after a long heavy and emotional conversation with Raven, that she was going to keep the baby.

“Be prepared for the new hurricane Cecilia that is now on her way over to the United States. Earlier today it struck the city of Los Angeles and it is now moving upwards the west coast. As you can see the damage behind me is-“

Clarke heard the news lady say on the tv and muted out the rest as she drowned herself in her studies with her friends. She wasn’t sure if her baby bump had started to show yet or if it was her imagination, but she swore there was a small difference this morning which means she has to Tell Lexa soon.

She had texted her girlfriend earlier and asked if she could come over and Lexa had said yes. Now though, there was a hurricane on the way, and it would hit full force in less than seven hours. Clarke sighed as she continued to write her notes down. Her friends had been totally cool with her being with Lexa, and they had all agreed to kick Finn out of their group for good. They still bombarded her with their questions, but she was slowly getting used to it as the time passed.


The sound of thunder brought her out of her Lexa related thoughts. The longer she pushed it, the bigger the lump in her throat got and she knew there was no avoiding what was to come. Lexa
deserved better than that. After twenty more minutes, she decided to pack her stuff and head out. She double checked that her papers was in her backpack and walked outside and got into her car. She quickly texted Lexa letting her know that she was on her way over.


—————


Clarke pulled into Lexa’s driveway twenty minutes later because of the heavy raining. The streets were almost flooding by now and it didn’t look like it was gonna stop raining any time soon.
She quick got out of her car and ran up to the door, and Lexa was opening it just as she was about to knock.

“Hey” Lexa said as she watched Clarke. The blonde was soaked in the rain.

“Hi” Clarke breathed as she looked at her girlfriend. “How are you?” The blonde said, not sure what to do now that she was standing in front of Lexa.


“Come inside Clarke” Lexa said without answering the question. She was angry at Clarke for ignoring her for the past week. Clarke better have the best damn excuse there is to have blown her off the way she has been doing. She had been worried sick since she ran into Clarke in the hallway.


“Lexa. I’m sorry for ignoring you. I know.. I know I kind of disappeared without any explanation and I’m sorry for that. I’m here now, and I’m ready to explain.” Clarke said as she sat down on the couch and started to pull out the papers from her backpack.

“That will have to wait a little” Clarke suddenly said and ran into the bathroom. She had been throwing up a lot lately.


While Clarke was in the bathroom, Lexa couldn’t help but let her curiosity get the best out of her. She saw the papers. She knew what they was, and she reached for them without thinking. She read over them, and she gasped.


“Lexa I am so sorry” Clarke said as she walked back into the living room.
“You-You’re pregnant?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded as tears started to flow down her face. “Lexa I’m sorry. I- I should have told you sooner. I know and I -“

“You are pregnant? That.. that’s impossible.” Lexa said as she got up and started to pace. “Clarke! You said you were on the pill!” Lexa shouted and didn’t realize how it affected the blonde.

“I was! I am! Well not anymore! But I was, but I... during Christmas I forgot to take a few and I-“

“You forgot! How do you forget to take the pill!?” Lexa shouted and halted. “You’ve known since Christmas! Clarke! That’s over two months!!” Lexa yelled and started pacing again. She didn’t mean to be so angry, she was just so frustrated that she had gone two months without knowing anything. She had a right to know! Right?

“I-I’m sorry” Clarke sobbed as she went over to her backpack and picked it up. “I.. I think I’m gonna go, and and let you think about this for a few hours, or days, or I.. y-you can call me when you’re ready and I.. I’ll be out of your hair.” The blonde cried and made her way towards the door.

“Clarke?! You can’t just leave. There is a storm outside!” Lexa shouted as she ran after her girlfriend. Clarke pulled out of her driveway the second Lexa walked through the door and what bothered Lexa the most was the fact that Clarke was driving in the wrong direction, leaving Lexa clueless as to where her girlfriend was going.

.....

Chapter Text

“I-I’m sorry” Clarke sobbed as she went over to her backpack and picked it up. “I.. I think I’m gonna go, and and let you think about this for a few hours, or days, or I.. y-you can call me when you’re ready and I.. I’ll be out of your hair.” The blonde cried and made her way towards the door.

“Clarke?! You can’t just leave. There is a storm outside!” Lexa shouted as she ran after her girlfriend. Clarke pulled out of her driveway the second Lexa walked through the door and what bothered Lexa the most was the fact that Clarke was driving in the wrong direction, leaving Lexa clueless as to where her girlfriend was going.

.....


“Clarke? Baby. This is the fifth time I’m calling. Please pick up. I didn’t mean to get angry at you, I was just so overwhelmed by it all? I don’t know. Please just call me back. I love you so much.” Lexa said as she called her girlfriend. There was a freaking hurricane on the way and Clarke was out there. Upset and alone, and it was getting dark.

Lexa had to do something. What if Clarke gets hurt? What if their baby gets hurt? She had to do something. She had to make sure Clarke was okay.


————

Clarke kept driving aimlessly around. It was raining really heavy, and the roads were flooding over. On top of that it was getting dark and Clarke wasn’t sure where she was going. She was nearing the Polis damm
when Lexa called her for the tenth time. She slowly reached for her phone and pushed the answer button.

“Clarke! Oh my god! Thank god. I was so worried. I’m sorry I yelled. I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault. I just want you to know that I love you and I will be here whatever you decide to do.” Lexa’s voice came through and Clarke silently cried.

“I was gonna tell you sooner, I was just so scared of what would happen when I told you” Clarke admitted and she could hear Lexa sigh on the other end.

“Clarke, I.. if.. I would never ever get mad at you for something like this. I’m so sorry I made you think that, and that I yelled earlier. I wasn’t mad at you. I was angry at the circumstances everything was happening and I.. I’m just sorry. I want you to feel safe around me, and I want you to be able to tell me things without getting anxious” Lexa kept talking and Clarke could only listen to her voice.

“Clarke.. please tell me where you are so I can come get you” Lexa said gently. She needed to get to Clarke.

———

Lexa kept pacing around. She was holding her car keys in her hand ready to drive to wherever Clarke was.

“Clarke. Please tell me where you are” Lexa said again but got no answer. “Baby, please, I need to see you. Need to know you’re safe”


“I-m ne-r-ng The p..is d-a...” Clarke said but the line kept cracking.

“Can you repeat that? I couldn’t hear you. The storm must be disturbing the signal” Lexa said. She needed to get to Clarke.


“I s-aid I... ne-aring the Polis Da..m” She heard her repeat and she sighed with relief.

“Okay, just stay where you are. I’m coming to get you. Just pull over to the side and wait for me.” Lexa kept talking as she ran out to her car and put her key in the ignition.


“What?” Clarke said through the speaker of the phone.

“I said stay where you are. I’m coming to get you” she repeated and started the car.

“Lexa I.. an’t he-r y..u”

“Clarke! Stay where you are, I’m coming to get you!” She yelled into her phone.

“I can.. t really se-e much. There is s..o mu-ch water and I.. aaah!!!”

“Clarke? Clarke!? Dammit!!” Lexa hung up and stepped on the gas. She had to get to the blonde.


—————


Clarke barely managed to dodge the car that drove in the wrong lane. She pulled her car to a stop and saw the other car crash into the railing on the bridge in her rear mirror.

“Oh my god” she said as she quickly got out of her car. As she approached it she noticed the sticker on the back of the car. ‘Baby on board’. She hoped whoever was driving was alone in the car. However, when she got closer she could hear screaming from the car.

“Mama!” It was a little girl.

“Hello?” Clarke said as she got closer.

“Hello! We’re in here!” The lady yelled and Clarke ran over to where the voices were coming from. The car was flipped onto it’s side but there was a hole in the roof where she could see the woman.

“Everything is going to be okay” Clarke said as she looked at the woman. She was bleeding from her head.

“How many are you in the car?” Clarke asked as she tried to peek through the roof and into the car.

“It’s me. My daughter Charlotte and my son, Nick.”

“Okay, Okay, uhm. I will try to get you out of there Okay. Do you have a crowbar or a hammer or something?” Clarke asked as she looked for a way to get the woman out of the car.

“Yes, I have a crowbar in the trunk.” She said. “Do you have a blanket or something too? I think I’ll need to break the glass” Clarke explained as she walked to the trunk to retrieve the crowbar.

“Yes, my son. Nick. He has a baby blanket in the back”

“Okay, great. Charlotte, can you reach the blanket and pass it forward?” Clarke asked and a few seconds later a tiny hand handed over the blanket.

“Okay. Now I need you to put this over yourself to protect you from the glass” Clarke said to the woman and she did as told. When Clarke deemed her protected enough she tried to break the glass with the crowbar. The glass broke on the seventh hit and shattered into a thousand pieces.

“Okay, now reach for my hand. I have to pull you out before I try to get the kids out” Clarke said and reached out her hand to the woman. She pulled hard and the woman climbed out with a little struggle.

“Okay, m’am. I need you to try to call nine one one. I know the weather is messing. With the signal, but you have to try” Clarke said before she climbed into the car.

“Hey, Charlotte, I’m coming in, Okay?” The blonde said as she made her way through the car. “Hey, how are you doing back here?” Clarke tried to lighten the situation.

“I’m good, I think my brother fell asleep though” Charlotte said and pointed to the baby. Clarke noticed right away that he was turning blue. She hurriedly unclasped the boy from the car seat, and his normal skin color started to return and the little boy started to fuss in her arms.

“Okay, Charlotte, I’m gonna give nick to your mother and then I will be back. Okay?” Clarke said and the little girl nodded her head. Clarke carefully climbed out of the car with the baby and noticed that his arm was very bruised and slack.

“M’am I think you should get into my car and wait with your baby. Warm up okay? I will get Charlotte out of the car. And if you can’t get a hold of nine one one soon you’ll have to take my car and drive to the hospital. Okay? I think your sons arm is broken” Clarke said as she handed the baby over.

She watched as the woman got into her car and Clarke hurried back to try to get Charlotte out. “Okay, Charlotte I’m coming in again, okay” Clarke said as she entered again.

“Hey, let’s get you out of here too, Okay.” Clarke said and Charlotte nodded eagerly. Clarke tried to find out how the girl was stuck and she noticed that the seatbelt were messed up and keeping her in place. She tried to unclasp it, but it wouldn’t budge no matter how hard she tried.

“Okay honey, this may take a while. I have to find something to cut the seatbelt with, Okay?” Clarke said to the girl as she got up and ran back to her car.


“M’am. I need you to take my car and drive to the hospital. Your son is seriously hurt and you need to check the wound on your head. Do you think you’re able to drive?” Clarke said and the woman nodded.

“Okay, good. I have to get my emergency kit from my trunk, before you go. I’ll stay here with Charlotte and get her loose. And when you get to the hospital ask for doctor Abigail Griffin and tell her that her daughter needs her and tell her where we are so someone can get us Okay?” Clarke Yelled as she walked around the car and retrieved the emergency kit.

As Clarke went back to Charlotte the woman took off with her car and honked the horn signaling that she was leaving.


“They’re leaving us here?” Charlotte asked. She looked so small and frightened in that moment that Clarke’s heart broke.

“Yes, your brother needs to go to the hospital and your mother will send someone to help us okay? Someone will help us” Clarke said as she stroked the girl’s hair gently “now let’s get you out of here, shall we”.


Clarke struggled to cut the belt open. It was thicker than she anticipated and the fact that she had to keep Charlotte calm and not panicking made it take longer. She started to notice that the girl was shivering, and the water didn’t help with the cold either. With a child stuck in the car and the water that kept cooling them down Clarke had no other option than to give the girl her jacket.

“Here Charlotte, you’re cold” Clarke said and shrugged it off, handing it to the girl.

“I can’t take your jacket silly” Charlotte tried to protest but Clarke fixed her with a gaze that left no room for debating. She had been there for nearly half an hour when she noticed car lights from the outside.

“I’m just gonna see who it is, maybe they can help us get you out” Clarke said before she climbed into the drivers seat.


“Clarke!? Baby! Is that you!?” She heard the familiar voice of her girlfriend and had never been more thankful to see her.

“Yeah! I have a girl in here. She’s pretty stuck. Do you have anything sharp?” Clarke Yelled back at her and Lexa nodded and turned around to go through her trunk.


“That’s my girlfriend, she’s gonna help us get you out of here Charlotte” Clarke said the girl smiled at here even though her lips were turning blue.

Clarke turned to look at Lexa’s car again and saw the brunette coming from behind her car with a belt cutter in her hand. Lexa looked so relieved and Clarke leaned her head on the steering wheel just taking her in.

That’s when she noticed that Lexa suddenly lit up, a car was driving and couldn’t see them. She watched in slow motion as Lexa dropped what she was holding and put her hands up and started to wave like crazy.

“No! Stop! Stop!” The brunette shouted and waved and the car tried to brake but it was too late. Clarke saw the look of horror that flashed over Lexa’s face and she felt the impact of the car hitting them, pushing them over the edge and into the river.


“Clarke!” Lexa shouted as she saw the car fall over the edge, and she jumped after them. She was not loosing her girlfriend to this storm. Not happening. She could hear the sound of the car leaving.

“Clarke” She shouted as she walked in front of the car. It was filling up with water fast and she knew she had to get her out of there soon. “Clarke! Baby, are you okay?” She said as she entered the car and saw Clarke struggling to get loose.

“I’m fine, I’m fine I’m just stuck. Help Charlotte. Lexa. She’s been in this car for a long time now and she’s cold and I promised to get her out.” Clarke said and Lexa nodded her head. She had the belt cutter in her hand and made her way back to the little girl.

“Hey Charlotte. I’m Lexa. I’ll help you out of here okay” Lexa said and Charlotte nodded. The water was rising faster and Lexa had to get the girl out fast. The way the belt was holding her in place made her shorter and the water was reaching her chin.

“Lexa, get her out of here!” Clarke shouted and Lexa took the belt cutter and cut her loose. The little girl clang to her like a lifeline, and Lexa looked over at Clarke who was still struggling to get loose.

“Clarke I will be right back. I love you.” Lexa said as she exited the car and helped Charlotte to safe ground.

“Okay, Charlotte, listen to me. I have a flashlight in my car. I need you to go get it and shine it into the water for me. Okay?” Lexa asked and Charlotte nodded before she took off running.


“Clarke!” Lexa shouted as she made her way back to the car. “Clarke!” She yelled but got no answer from the blonde.

She made her way into the car and Clarke’s face was barely over the water. “Baby! Hey hey, where are you stuck? I will get you out of here. I will get you out” Lexa said and dove under the water to look at where Clarke was stuck. It was a part of her leg that had gotten stuck somewhere near the pedals. She desperately tried to reach for it but Clarke’s position made it har to reach.

“Clarke, I can’t reach it! I can’t reach it!” Lexa said as she tried to think of something. The car was filling up too fast and Clarke was barely over the water at this point.

“Lexa. L-Lexa. I. I love you” Clarke said and went under the water.

Lexa yanked and pulled and pushed at her leg and then she noticed that Clarke’s head was under water. She quickly got up for air and went back down to blow some into Clarke’s lungs, before she went back to work. This was not happening.

She struggled for a bit but the leg was almost loose. She was so close. She went up for air again, but when she got under, Clarke was staring blankly into the water.

“Nooo!!” She shouted and hit the steering wheel. She yanked the leg upwards with so much force she wasn’t sure if it was the leg that broke or the piece that was holding her girlfriend in place that loosened. Either way they were loose.


She grabbed a hold of her girlfriend and dragged her out of the water. the blonde was not breathing.


“Lexa! Is she okay? Is Clarke Okay!?” Charlotte yelled as she ran down towards the edge of the water.

“Charlotte I need you to go wait at the end of the bridge. Get into my car and stay there.. Okay? I need you to stay there” Lexa said as she carried Clarke and laid her down.

“Clarke. Please don’t die on me” The brunette said as she started CPR. She kept pumping and blowing, but Clarke didn’t open her eyes.

“Clarke! Please!” Lexa cried as she kept pushing. Her desperation grew for every breath she breathed for her girlfriend. “Clarke please don’t leave me here. I need you” The brunette cried harder as she looked at the girl on the ground.

“Clarke!” The brunette sobbed harder as she kept pumping her girlfriends chest. “Baby please. Please don’t leave me here.” She could hear sirens in the distance, the rain nearly drowned them out.

“Baby, please. Come back to me. I need you. I love you so much” Lexa whispered as the tears streamed down her face. This was not happening to them. It couldn’t be. She couldn’t live without Clarke. She gently laid her head on Clarke’s chest and cried silently. Then she felt the blonde twitch underneath her.

“Clarke?” A new found hope found its to her as she started pumping her chest again. As she was about to blow air into her lungs the blonde started gulping up water and Lexa enveloped her in a hug as she cried. “Clarke it’s okay. You’re okay. God, I love you so much.” Lexa whispered as she watched the ambulance stop in front of them and paramedics rush out to help them.

Lexa held onto her and rocked back and forth to calm her down as the paramedics opened the door. She helped them get Clarke into the ambulance and informed them about the girl in her car. She also decided to leave her car there, she would much rather ride the ambulance with her girlfriend and Charlotte at the moment.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked softly as they drove off. “Yes?” Lexa replied as she looked at her girlfriend. “I really hate water” the blonde said and Lexa burst out laughing.

“Yeah. Me too” The brunette agreed. She really really hated water.


————


When they arrived at the hospital a few medical attendants were waiting for them. “What do we got?”

“Eighteen year old female, drowning accident, she seems to be fine for the time being but we should run some tests.”

Lexa heard as they moved Clarke inside.

“Lexa? Will you stay with me till I find my mommy?” Charlotte asked quietly as she tagged along after them.

“Of course sweetie” The brunette said and picked the girl up. They got assigned to room 3037 and Clarke’s mother rushed inside a few moments later.


“Oh thank god you’re fine” Abby said and hugged her daughter close.

Now the only thing left to do was break the news to the older woman gently. She was gonna be a grandma.

 

 

Chapter Text

“Okay Clarke, take a deep breath for me” Abby said as she placed the stethoscope on her back. Clarke breathed in a few times and Abby listened closely for any indication that something might be wrong.

“Is she okay?” Lexa asked worriedly as Abby kept listening.

“Oh yeah, everything thing seems fine. I’m just a little worried since she was under for a while.” Abby explained as she put the stethoscope around her neck. The older woman sensed that something else was up and kept looking between the two of them. “Is there something else I should know?” She said with a raised brow and Clarke and Lexa shared a look.

Lexa was about to shake her head no, but Clarke spoke up before she could do anything.

“Yes.. I uhm. Mom... y.. you’re gonna be a grandma” The blonde said quickly and Abby froze. Well shit.

“I-I.. what?” The older woman stuttered slightly at the new information.

“I’m pregnant, mom” Clarke said and Abby stared at her with an unreadable expression.

“How long?”

“A little over nine weeks”

“Nine weeks!? Shit. I’ll have to take an ultrasound” Abby said as she walked out of the room. She returned a few moments later with a nurse and a ultrasound machine.


“Okay, honey, this may be a little cold.” Abby said as she applied the gel to her stomach. Clarke felt he chills on her arm on looked to Lexa for moral support. “We just need to get a heartbeat” The older woman said and as the time went on, Clarke grew more nervous.

Lexa walked to stand beside her girlfriend as they waited patiently for Abby to find the beat. Clarke grabbed a hold of her hand as a few tears began to fall. Then came the small but steady beat of a heart and Clarke burst out crying and Lexa hugged her close and kissed the top of her head.

“There it is.” Abby said, and she too, looked a little relieved to find the beat. “It’s a little slow. 99 beats per minute. But it’s there” she told them softly.

“Are you Okay?” She asked Clarke and placed a warm and gentle hand over her daughter’s.

“Yeah. I’m good” Clarke smiled as she studied the little creature on the screen. She looked up at Lexa and she saw a tear fall from her girlfriends eye as she looked at the monitor. “It looks like a little chicken nugget” The brunette breathed out, making the people in the room laugh.

“Yeah, it does. And the best part is that it’s our little chicken nugget” Clarke smiled as they studied the thing in her belly.

“Not to ruin this moment, uhm, would you care to enlighten me about all of... uh.. this?” Abby said and made some awkward hand gestures.


“Oh, yeah... uhm?” Clarke said as she looked up to Lexa for help. “I’m intersex. Dr. Griffin.” Lexa said simply and Abby looked shocked. “You’re.. you? I would never have guessed. Wow...” The older woman said and looked at Clarke.

“Oh I know. I was surprised too, but well, she’s still Lexa. The woman I love. I know the timing is awful and that I am young and everything, but I think I can do this» Clarke said softly as she looked up at the brunette, who smiled down at her.


“I sure hope you’re right honey” Abby said as she packed the equipment. “Oh well. A gap year between high school and college is not the end of the world. We’ll just have to find a way to work things out” The older woman smiled gently and patted Lexa on the back. “I hope you’re prepared to deal with the Griffin pregnancy hormones” She joked and Lexa’s eyes widened comically.

 

————-


“No, nah ah. Put that down” Abby said as she entered the kitchen.

“But mom...”

“No. You have already had two cups of coffee today, and I promised Lexa to keep an eye on you.” her mother said, and she went to pour out the content in her cup. Lexa was a nervous wreck when it came to the pregnancy, and when she found out coffee could be harmful she banned Clarke from drinking it. Well, tried. Clarke had her mother explain that a few cups didn’t hurt.
Which of course ended in a heavy discussion between the three of them, which lead to Lexa almost winning it.

 

“Ugh, I hate this” Clarke grumbled softly as she looked at the small bump on her stomach.

 

“Well, it gets worse” Abby said and chuckled when Clarke groaned.

“I know I probably shouldn’t say this, but once the pregnancy is over and you hold your little one for the first time it will be worth it” her mother said softly and patted her head.

 

“I hope so. This little fucker inside me is messing with my emotions” the blonde said and poked her stomach gently.

“And again... it gets worse” Abby said before she walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. Clarke just sighed as she grabbed a bottle of water and looked at her stomach.

“You better be the cutest little thing when you get out” The blonde grumbled before she walked up to her room.


—————


Lexa had been reading baby books every chance she got during her breaks between her classes. She was relieved that Clarke and the baby was fine, but damn it was much to learn. Abby had called the school and let them know that the blonde wouldn’t be there for another few days and Lexa missed having her girlfriend in class.

She placed her coffee cup on her desk in her office and sighed as she looked at all the papers she had to grade. She gave her students a test she had almost forgotten about and she highly regretted it because it took up a lot of time she could spend with Clarke. Lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice her phone ringing at first but when she did, she smiled brightly.


“Hey you” she answered with a broad smile, knowing that Clarke couldn’t see her.

“Hey babe. How’s work?” Clarke asked, trying to be nonchalant, but Lexa could tell the blonde was bored out of her mind.

“Oh you know... same old boring stuff. Grading some paper. By the way, Harper is doing really well for the time being. Anything you wanna tell me?” The brunette answered and smirked. She knew Clarke had forced Harper to come over to study with her, and she also noticed Harper looking more at her lap than her test during class earlier.

“Yeah? I don’t know. She was really excited about this one” Clarke joked and Lexa sighed softly. “Clarke, I’m your teacher, and Harpers teacher. I know you texted her the answers” The brunette said and the line went so quiet that Lexa thought she accidentally hung up.
“Clarke?” Lexa said softly as she heard sniffling from the other end.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to help her, I’m so tired of being stuck at home.. it’s been two weeks of me being in my room doing homework and trying to keep the same pace as the rest of the class. My midterms are due in three days and I can’t even tell what the fuck a sedimentary rock is for geography class. And at the top of that I’m horny. You have no idea how many emotions are running through me daily and the worst part is that I can’t even drink coffee” The blonde rambled like a crazy person and Lexa felt bad for her girlfriend.

“I’m sorry, Clarke. I know this is a hard time for you. If you want to, I can come over once I’m finished grading these papers, and I’m all yours for the rest of the evening, Okay?” Lexa said softly and started to worry slightly when she heard crying on the other side.

“How are you this perfect. I’m here being a whiny brat, with my fucking pregnancy hormones, which is weird because lil nugget is only eleven weeks” Clarke whined into the phone.

“Clarke. You’re not a whiny brat, okay? And you’re pretty perfect yourself” Lexa said softly as she read through the papers.

“I miss you...” the blonde said quietly and Lexa stopped what she was doing.

“Clarke, we saw each other this morning” The brunette said softly, but got no response “Okay, how about I finish grading three more papers, and then I’ll come over and I’ll bring you ice cream”


“Will you bring me pickles too? I think I have my first craving” The blonde said and Lexa could hear the smirk in her tone.

“You do, huh. Guess I’ll just grade these papers later then” Lexa said as she started to pack her things.

“Yeah, what a shame. See you soon” Clarke said before she hung up and the brunette chuckled softly.

 

——————


“You are a literal angel you known that” Clarke said as she moaned around a bite of pickle. Lexa couldn’t help but let her thoughts wander around at the sounds that escaped the blondes mouth and she subtly put a pillow on her lap to keep the blonde from noticing. Now was not the time.

“Well, I’d do anything for my baby mama” Lexa said with a shrug and looked deep into the blue eyes she loved so much.

“Promise you’ll still love me when I become a whale and none of my clothes fit me anymore” The blonde said as a few tears escaped her eyes.

“Clarke. There is no way. And I mean no way, I’ll ever stop loving you, Okay? And you’re not becoming a whale.” Lexa said sternly but yet in a sweet way. “And I’ll buy you new clothes”.

“I love you” Clarke whispered softly and reached out to take Lexa’s hand in her own.

“I love you too” Lexa said before she bent forward to capture Clarke’s lips in a soft kiss. Lexa smiled into the kiss, even though her girlfriend tasted like pickled ice cream. Clarke’s hand tangled in brunette curls as she deepened the kiss. She had missed Lexa all day and now that the brunette was finally there again, she had plans.

“Babe, is there a reason why you have a pillow on your lap?” She asked mischievously as she parted from the girl.


“I uh... you just look so good and then you were moaning around that pickle before and I can’t control what happens down there an-“

“Lexa, it’s okay. I’m turned on too” The blonde said and her voice was so husky that Lexa nearly died.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. You coming into my room, all sexy and dominant. Bringing me food” Clarke said as she removed the pillow from Lexa’s lap and went to straddle her.

“Clarke... your mom and Marcus are downstairs”

“I guess we’ll just have to be very quiet.” Clarke whispered as she pushed Lexa down on the bed.

 


————


“Oh fuck...” Clarke breathed as she tried to catch her breath. She laid on top of her girlfriend and just listened to her strong heartbeat, with Lexa still inside of her.

“Yeah, I think that’s what we just did” Lexa joked and Clarke hit her arm playfully, making the brunette pout.

“Don’t look at me like that” Clarke said before she leaned forward to kiss it away. “Like what?” Lexa asked as she gently played with Clarke’s hair.

“Like I put the stars in the sky? I don’t know” Clarke said as she studied the way Lexa was looking at her. There was so much love in the brunette’s gaze and she suddenly felt really overwhelmed by it all. Before she could stop them, a few tears escaped her eyes and she started to cry.

“Clarke? Are you okay?”

“Yeaaah, I’m fine. I just got really overwhelmed all of a sudden.” Clarke said as she buried her face in the brunette’s neck.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.” Lexa said softly as she hugged the blonde closer. They laid like that for a few minutes before Clarke decided to get up. She slowly lifted herself off the brunette and moaned softly at the feeling of her slipping out. She silently made her way into the bathroom, before popping her head out he door to look at Lexa.

“Wanna join me in the shower?” She asked with a grin and Lexa smiled back before she hurried into the bathroom.

 

——————

 

“I can’t believe Lexa didn’t show up.” Raven said as she stared at the little human on the monitor. Clarke had been stressing over her second ultrasound, and she had put it off until they were done with the finals. She had asked Raven to join her when Lexa had told her she couldn’t make it because of work.

Clarke was fifteen weeks pregnant now, and the bump on her belly had gotten a little bigger during the last couple of weeks. Their baby was now the size of an apple, and looked like a little alien, it was interesting to see how it had gotten bigger than the first time. The heartbeat was normal, and everything seemed fine with it.

“Yeah.. I.. I’ll just get the ultrasound pictures and show her when we get home” Clarke said and tried to be nonchalant, but Raven saw right through her. She knew that her best friend was upset that Lexa wasn’t there.

“Clarke...”

“No, I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s just.. she chose work, rather than being here with us, with me. And I’m a little disappointed, but I know she can’t just drop everything to be with me all the time” Clarke said as she wiped the gel off her stomach.

“I think she wanted to be here though. If she could” Raven said and looked over at her friend. “I just can’t can’t believe she didn’t show”


“If she really wanted to be here, Raven, she would have shown up” Clarke said as she pulled her sweater down to hide her little baby bump. She got off the table and followed her doctor to get the prints of her ultrasound.

Raven just followed after her and kept her mouth shut. She was totally going to have a chat with the other brunette. She waited with Clarke in the doctors office as the blonde got the information she needed.

“Okay, Let’s go home” Clarke said as she put on her jacket and got ready to walk out of there. Raven stood up from the chair she was half asleep in and followed the blonde to the entrance. As they walked through the door, they spotted a very familiar person hurrying through the parking lot. Lexa was dressed in her work clothes, which meant she was coming straight from school.

“Clarke!” She said loudly as she approached them. She could tell that the blonde was upset, and she had every right to be. She felt so awful for missing out on this, but there was a teacher’s meeting at school and she really couldn’t miss that.

The blonde completely ignored her as she kept walking towards her car. She was not gonna talk to Lexa right now, because she was afraid she’d say something she might regret.

“Clarke, please.”


“I don’t want to talk to you right now” The blonde said softly and it tugged at Lexa’s heart strings.

“I’m sorry” Lexa said as she ran her hand through her hair. She needed Clarke to understand.

“I know” the blonde said as she got into her driver seat. Lexa quickly got into the passenger seat before Raven could, and locked the door.


“Lexa, What the hell!” Raven shouted from the outside and glared at her.


“Lexa, What are you doing?”

“Please just let me explain” the brunette pleaded and Clarke looked out the window and sighed.


“Okay... Okay. Explain”


“Clarke, I had to be at the meeting. I really did. I’m sorry. I wish I was here for you. I tried to get here, but the traffic was crazy and I really really tried... to get to you in time. I’m sorry” Lexa said and looked over at Clarke who still refused to look back at her. They sat there for what felt like hours and Clarke still hadn’t said a word. Raven was getting impatient on the outside too.


The blonde reached into her pocket to retrieve her wallet and took out the sonograms of their baby. She handed them to the brunette carefully and Lexa looked at Clarke. Tears forming in her eyes.

“Wow.. Lil nugget has grown” The brunette breathed out as she studied the picture in her hands.

“Yeah, it’s the size of an apple at this point” Clarke chuckled softly as she looked at her girlfriend.
“Do you know what it is yet?” Lexa asked curiously and Clarke shook her head no. “No, she asked if I wanted to know, but it felt wrong when you weren’t there with me” the blonde explained.

“I think it’s a boy” Lexa said and looked at Clarke.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely” The brunette said as she studied the picture closer.


“Not to ruin this or anything, but I’m cold and I wanna go home!” They heard Raven shout from the outside, and Lexa reached into her purse to get her car keys out. She opened the window and handed them over to Raven.


“You’re letting me drive the Audi?” The Latina gasped in disbelief and Lexa just nodded her head. She really hoped Raven was a good driver. That car was a graduation present from her parents. A brand new Audi RS7. Dark grey. Lexa had cried when they gave her the keys.

“Oh man! This will be awesome” Raven said mischievously as she started to walk away.


“I’m gonna regret this aren’t I?” Lexa asked as she followed Raven with her eyes.

“Probably” Clarke said and looked down at her lap.


“I really am sorry.” The brunette breathed out as she reached for the blondes hand.

“I know. I forgive you. And I love you” Clarke said as she leaned forward to capture her lips in a sweet kiss.


“I love you too, Clarke”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

“And last but not least, Miss Raven Reyes” the principal said into the microphone as the last of the graduate students got their diploma.

Clarke looked out a the audience and spotted her mother and Marcus in the crowd, cheering loudly. Raven walked up beside her and hugged her from the side as the student body president held the speech.

“We did it, princess” The Latina teased and Clarke hit her playfully. She caught Lexa’s eye from where the teachers were and smiled softly at her. Lexa mouthed an ‘I love you’ back at her . “Yeah, we did”. Clarke said as she looked down at her now larger stomach. It was smaller than she expected it to look after six months, but then again, everyone developed differently.


“So with all of that said, I wish this fantastic group of people a good summer and may they succeed with whatever they do in life” The student finished up the speech and everyone threw their caps in the air.

 

—————

 

“You guys look so great in your gowns” Abby said as she took pictures of the gang with their diplomas. They kept smiling as the rest of their parents were taking pictures before Abby signed for Clarke to follow her.

Clarke excused herself and followed after her mother to a more secluded area of the school. They walked around a corner and Clarke’s face lit up as she saw Lexa standing under a tree.


“Hey you” Clarke said with a big smile as she walked up to her girlfriend.

“Hey, you look really good in that gown” Lexa said before she captured her lips in a chaste kiss.

“I wanted to take a picture of you both being happy and in love before lil nugget ruins your lives because he or she is crying every night at three in the morning.” Abby explained as she walked up to them with her camera.

“Thank you, mom” Clarke smiled sweetly and Abby started to take pictures as they posed and smiled for the camera. They both looked so happy and when Lexa tenderly touched Clarke belly and looked at her so lovingly, Abby actually let a tear slip.

“You okay Abby?” Lexa asked as she cast a glance towards her and the older woman nodded her head. “Yeah, I’m fine. You just look so happy together” she explained and Lexa gestured for her to stand next to Clarke.

“Here, let me take a few pictures of you and Clarke together” Lexa said and took the camera from her hands. Abby went to stand behind her daughter and Clarke spotted Marcus walking by.

“Marcus! Come join us” she yelled and he looked confused at first but then smiled widely as he walked up to them. “Are you sure, Clarke?” He asked gently and she nodded her head. He weren’t her father. He never would be, but he was Marcus, and that was enough.

They exchanged taking pictures with Clarke for the next few minutes before Octavia came walking around the building.


“Hey Clarke, there is a party at Murphy’s tonight, if you’re up for it though” Octavia said as she walked up to them and Clarke was about to decline but Abby spoke up.

“Octavia.. Clarke is pregnant. I know she’s eighteen, but she’s still my baby, carrying her own baby, so there is no way in hell I am letting her attend that party. I know you teens” The older woman said and Clarke was grateful for her mother’s protecting side in that moment.

“Sorry O, maybe we could do something other than partying later” The blonde suggested and Octavia smiled understandingly at them, and nodded before she walked away.


“Thank you Mom” Clarke whispered as she stared after her friend. She really didn’t feel like partying. And especially not while pregnant. Something bad could happen, and she almost killed her baby once already by saving a little girl from drowning. She didn’t regret it, but she got really scared the moment she couldn’t hear her baby’s heartbeat after the accident, and she couldn’t go through that again. Couldn’t put Lexa or her mother through that again.

 

“Okay, how about we all go out for a celebratory dinner later” Marcus suggested and Abby and Clarke smiled at him.


——————

 

The summer vacation was flying by so fast. Everyone of Clarke’s friends were talking excitedly about going to college. Raven, Octavia, Jasper, Harper and Murphy were staying in Polis to go to Polis university. Bellamy was going to Oregon somewhere, and Wells was going to Seattle to study medicine. Clarke had gotten accepted to Polis university too, and had sorted out an arrangement with the school to put her attendance off for a year. But she had a spot for next year, and that was something.

It was nearing August, and Clarke had entered the third trimester. It was a little under a month until her due date and she was stressing. They had to get the nursery ready and Lexa had barely started to put it up in her house. She was still painting the room in a neutral color since they didn’t want to know the sex of the baby. They had gone for a light warm gray color and decided to go with white furniture.

Marcus and Abby were also redoing one of their guest rooms for the baby to sleep over when it became too much for the two parents.

Now, Clarke was alone in the house with her mother, putting her old baby bed together. Lexa was spending the weekend with Anya, and her friends were out partying.

“Well, this is at least starting to look like something.” Clarke said as she looked at the room. It was just a changing table, a bed and a rocking chair so far, but it was more than Lexa had managed to do in two months.

“Clarke. Lexa is really trying, she just has a lot on her plate right now.” Abby said and Clarke nodded her head. Lexa had been busy lately and gotten a lot to deal with, but was it so hard to just put a bed together? Even she could do it, with the help of her mother.

“I know, I know she does, I just... I feel so underprepared for when lil nugget will arrive” Clarke sighed softly and rubbed her belly gently. It was getting huge and her bladder was living a life of its own.

“That’s totally normal honey. But there is still time to put these things up. The most important thing is that the baby has a bed to sleep in. And for the first month you’ll want your baby as close to you as possible, so I have a little gift for you.”

“What is it?” Clarke asked curiously.

“Go check in your room. It’s by your bed” Abby said sweetly and Clarke smiled at her before she walked across the hall to her room. When she opened the door she gasped. She walked over to her bed and studied the small baby bassinet next to it. Inside it was a onesie saying “lil nugget” with a print of the first sonogram. Clarke laughed as a tear escaped her eye. She didn’t even think to buy a bassinet.

“Do you like it?” Abby asked as she entered the room. Clarke turned and gave her mother a teary smile. “Yeah, I love it. Thank you” Clarke said and hugged her mother.

“You should get some sleep, it’s getting late” Abby said and kissed the top of her head.

“Okay” Clarke said softly and watched her mother walk out the door. She studied the little onesie closer and smiled at the thought of her baby in it. She also really wanted to show it to Lexa. She snapped a quick picture and sent it to her before she finally decided to go to bed.

 


—————

 

Clarke rushed out of bed and barely got to the toilet before the contents of her stomach came up, and splashed into it. She groaned as she leaned her back against the wall and waited for the next wave to hit her. Abby came into her daughter’s room and knocked on the bathroom door a few seconds later.

“Clarke? Honey are you okay?”

“Yeah... I’m just..” She heard her daughter start to say followed by the sound of her throwing up again.

“I’m coming in” Abby said before she opened the door to find her daughter hunched over the toilet.


“I really hate this part...” Clarke whined as she leaned back against the wall again.

“I know sweetheart. But this is what you get when you forget to use protection..” Abby said as she looked at her daughter. She looked so miserable.

“Geez Mom. Thanks, that really helps” Clarke said in annoyance as she slowly got up and tried to walk back to her bed. It was Saturday, which meant no school, and that Clarke was stuck at home while her friends were out drinking and having fun. The worst part was that Lexa were hanging out with Anya this weekend.


“You should try to get some sleep. It’s almost eleven and Lexa will be here tomorrow by two.” Abby said as she helped Clarke get into bed. The morning sickness had turned into whenever it was in the day sickness and Clarke was tired of it. It was draining. Abby kissed the top of her head and walked out of the room to leave her alone.


——————


Clarke stared up at her sealing for what felt like hours. She couldn’t sleep, lost in her own thoughts. How was she gonna do all of this? What if Lexa leaves her? She also really wanted cookies. But hello. She doesn’t know shit about raising another human.

Giving up on sleep she reluctantly got out of bed and walked downstairs. She really craved cookies. She walked into the kitchen and looked for ingredients. She got eggs, and the sugar, and butter. Now.. where did her mom keep the flour and baking soda.

She opened the corner cabinet and spotted it on the top shelf. She climbed up on the counter thinking she would be able to reach it. She struggled and stretched as far as her body would allow, but the bag was too heavy and she lost her balance ending up falling down. She landed on the floor with a crash and cried out in pain.

Ten seconds later there were hurried footsteps coming from upstairs and Clarke knew she had fucked up.

“Clarke!?” Abby shouted as she ran into the kitchen and crouched down. “Clarke. Look at me, honey. It’s okay. Breathe” she said as she cradled her daughter close to her.

“Where does it hurt?” Abby asked her frantically as Clarke kept crying. “Baby, where does it hurt, tell me where it hurts” The older woman said as she looked at her daughter.

“My- my lower s-stomach.. I - it hurts so bad, mom.” Clarke cried and that’s when Abby noticed the blood on the floor.

“Clarke. I think the baby is in distress. It’s not getting enough oxygen. I think you teared the placenta. We have to get you to the hospital now!” Abby said as she tried to lift her daughter off the floor.

“M-mom.. I-“


“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, just breathe. I paged the hospital with a 911 code. They’ll get here soon. They’re on the way, just keep breathing. Keep breathing honey.” Abby said as she held her daughter closer.


“I’ll call Lexa the second the paramedics arrive. Just keep breathing”.

 

——————

 

“Where is she, Abby?” Lexa asked frantically as she walked through the hospital entrance. Abby had been waiting for her there for two minutes, and it was visible that the older woman had been crying.

“She’s having an emergency c section, put this on and follow me, fast” Abby said as she handed Lexa a lab coat and dragged her with her through the hallways and up to one of the OR’s. “You’ll also have to wear this” Abby instructed as she handed her a surgical mask.

Clarke was on the operating table half passed out from the drugs they had given her, and Lexa cried as she followed Abby over to her. “Oh baby, I am so sorry” Lexa whispered as she stroked the blonde’s hair softly.

All her attention was on Clarke, and she nearly jumped when the room filled with loud screams from a tiny baby. Lexa never left Clarke’s side, but her eyes drifted to the small body as the doctors went to clean the baby up.

“Is the baby okay?” She heard Clarke mumble from beside her.

“Your baby is just fine, Miss Griffin, it’s a healthy baby boy” the doctor said and walked slowly over to them.

“Would you like to hold him?” He asked Lexa and she nodded her head gently and gasped as she took in the tiny human being in her her arms.

“It’s a boy?” Clarke asked as she looked up at Lexa and the baby, and Lexa smiled brightly as she nodded down at her girlfriend.

“All ten toes and fingers?”

“Yes baby, he’s perfect” Lexa said softly as she crouched down to let Clarke have a better look at their son. Clarke let the tears fall as she took in the little boy, their little boy.

“He’s so beautiful, Lexa” The blonde mumbled before she started to droop off. Suddenly the machines started to beep like crazy and the doctors in the room gathered around the blonde.


“Clarke?” Lexa asked as she held their baby. “Clarke?!”

 

“Her bp is dropping, what is happening?” One of the interns said and Lexa started to freak out.


“Clarke? What’s wrong with her? What is happening?”


“Will someone get them out of here?” One of the doctors said and Abby put a gentle hand on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Lexa, we cant be here now, we have to step out and let them work, Okay” Abby said as a few tears left her eyes. Lexa handed the baby over to one of the nurses and followed Abby outside.


“Abby, what is happening?” Lexa asked worriedly the second they stepped out of the OR.

“She may have internal bleeding, she fell pretty hard” Abby said as she stared through the window. She really hated hospital protocols right now.

Chapter Text

Lexa was pacing around outside the hospital nursery. She could see their baby through the glass window, but she couldn’t bring herself to go in. All she could think about was Clarke. Her Clarke who were laying on the operating table. The same table she had been laying on for the past hour. How did this happen? What did she do to deserve this? Clarke had been nothing but good, and then the universe did this? How is that fair?

For every minute that passed, she grew more nervous. Abby was still standing outside the OR, waiting for some information about how her daughter was doing. Abby had told her to stay with the baby to calm herself down, but she couldn’t. How could she? Clarke was all she could think about, and oh god, the baby didn’t even have a name yet. He needed a name and she couldn’t do this alone. She needed Clarke to be okay.

After pacing around for ten more minutes, Lexa finally caved. She walked through the door to the nursery and over to where their baby was sleeping. She looked down at him and gently stroked his chubby little cheek with her finger.


“You can hold him, if you want to” a nurse walked up to her and said, and Lexa smiled at her and nodded her head.

The nurse gently lifted him out of the bassinet and handed him over to Lexa who held him so gently.

“He’s beautiful” The nurse said and Lexa wanted to cry because he looked a lot like Clarke.

“Thank you” Lexa whispered as she looked down at her baby. He started to stir a bit in her arms so she to a hold of his tiny hand and he grabbed around her finger immediately. He slowly opened his eyes and they were the same green as Lexa’s . He was the perfect combination of them both. Lexa let a few more tears escape as she gazed at her baby boy.

She looked up again to find Abby looking at her with tear stained cheeks and her pulse started to raise. Oh no, this was not happening. She couldn’t do this alone.

“Lexa..” Abby said as she walked up to her and Lexa could only assume the worst.

“Is she okay?” Lexa asked nervously as she rocked the little one in her arms.

“She lost a lot of blood and had to go through a blood transfusion.” Abby said and her voice trembled slightly.

“Abby, is she okay. Tell me”

“She’s Okay, She’s alive, but she’s asleep from the anesthetics.” Abby said and Lexa drew in a breath of relief as a few tears left her eyes.

“And Lexa... I.. there’s one more thing” the older woman said and Lexa looked up at her.

“What?”


“Her heart stopped beating. It was just for a few seconds, I thought you’d want to know” Abby said and Lexa shifted her gaze down to the baby again.

“When can I see her?” Lexa asked softly, her voice tinted with sadness.

“When she wakes up. It may take a while” Abby said and gently pulled the brunette in for a hug, careful not to hurt the baby. “Do you have a name for him yet?” She asked as she looked at her grand son.

“No, I suggested Aden, but Clarke hated it.” Lexa chuckled softly and shook her head.

“Yeah, He doesn’t look like an Aden. He’s too cute for that” Abby said and Lexa had to agree. He didn’t look like an Aden at all.

“You should get some sleep, Lexa. It’s almost four in the morning and you have been up working on the nursery all day” Abby said gently and patted her shoulder.

“I can’t sleep.” Lexa said quietly and Abby nodded in understanding. “At least sit down in one of the chairs, Okay?” The older woman said softly and Lexa obeyed. She sat down in the chair with the baby and watched him fall asleep.

Abby stood there watching over them and she nearly broke at the brunette’s next words.

“He doesn’t even have a name” Lexa whispered sadly. “I can’t do this alone, Abby. She has to be okay. She has to».

 


—————

 

 

“Lexa, Hey, honey, wake up” Abby said as she carefully lifted the baby out of her arms. The brunette started to stir and slowly opened her eyes to look at her.

“Abby?” Lexa mumbled in her half sleep. What time was it? When did she fall asleep?

“Hey, Clarke is awake” Abby said gently and Lexa shot up from the chair.

“She is?”

“Yeah, she woke up a few moments ago and asked for you and the baby. You can go ahead and I’ll change his diaper and meet you in her room. It’s just down the hall from here, room 4316” Abby said and Lexa was out of the room so fast Abby was surprised there wasn’t burn marks on the floor.

Lexa hurried down the hallway, she had to see Clarke. The hours she had spent not knowing anything had been pure torture.

She walked down to the door and knocked gently, trying to keep her nerves at bay. She heard Clarke’s voice from the other side, telling her to come in and she opened the door gently and walked in to the room.


“Clarke” Lexa sighed with relief as the tears started to fall again. She walked over to the bed and fell on her knees as she kissed Clarke’s hand.

“Hey” The blonde said and her voice was groggy and fragile. It broke Lexa’s heart. She should have been there. If she hadn’t lied about hanging out with Anya this weekend and just told Clarke that she was fixing up the nursery this would never have happened. She would have been there for her and non of this would have happened.

“You’re here, you’re here and you’re alive” Lexa whispered as the tears continued to fall from her eyes. She couldn’t control it.

“I’m here.” Clarke said softly as she squeezed the brunette’s hand gently.

“Clarke, I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you, I- this is all my fault-“ the brunette started to say but Clarke cut her off.

“No, Lexa it’s okay, it’s not your fault. There was no way you could have known this was going to happen, Okay. I would never blame you for this. I love you so much” Clarke said and her voice cracked slightly as she spoke. “Come here” She said as she made space for Lexa to lie down on the bed. Lexa carefully laid down next to the blonde and wrapped her securely in her arms.

“I was so scared” Lexa admitted quietly as she gently stroked her hand through the blonde’s soft hair.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ve been such a shitty girlfriend lately and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am”

“Clarke, you are anything but a shorty girlfriend, Okay? Never ever think that. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and to be honest... without you I would be totally miserable. I don’t think I have cried so much in my life as I have these past hours” Lexa said softly, and she could hear Clarke sniffle softly.


“I love you so much Lexa”


“I love you more” Lexa said as Clarke rested her head on her shoulder. “Not possible” the blonde replied and they laid like that for a few minutes before Abby walked in, carefully strolling their baby in the bassinet.

 

“He fell asleep on the way here” Abby whispered softly as she halted on the side of the bed. “Do you want to hold him, honey?” She asked her daughter and Clarke nodded eagerly. She was dying to hold her baby for the first time. Literally.

Abby carefully lifted him up and placed him in her daughter’s arms, and Clarke stared at him lovingly. He was so tiny, born three weeks before the due date on September 12th.

“Oh he is perfect” Clarke whispered as she studied her baby boy. This is the best art work she has ever done. She gently stroked his chubby little cheeks and kissed the top of his head. “And he smells so good” she cried softly and Lexa placed a kiss to her temple.

“He needs a name, Clarke” Lexa said softly as she looked at their baby.

“Okay, um... I.. Mom?” Clarke said as she looked to her mother, and Abby waited for her daughter to continue.

“How about Jacob? After your dad” Lexa said and Clarke’s eyes lit up. “Lexa..”


“I’m sure, I’m okay with it if you guys are?” The brunette said and looked between Abby and Clarke.


“How about Ethan Jacob? So he has a name from your side too?” Clarke said softly and Lexa smiled shyly at her. It never occurred to her that Clarke would want to name him after her grandfather.

“I love it. What do you think, Abby? Does he look like an EJ to you?” Lexa asked and Abby let a tear fall from her eyes.

“Oh he definitely does” the older woman said as she watched the new little family of three. “The rest of the delinquents are sleeping in the waiting room, they arrived a few hours ago, but I wanted to give you this time together as a family” she explained and Clarke smiled thankfully at her.

“You can send them up in half an hour” Clarke said softly and Abby nodded before she walked out of the room.


“My father is totally gonna cry, you know that right?” Lexa said and Clarke chuckled softly and nodded her head.

 

—————

 

“Oh he is a masterpiece” Raven gushed as she held EJ in her arms. The baby had been handed from person to person in the room and Raven finally mustered up the courage to hold the tiny baby after Clarke reassured her that he wasn’t going to break. “He’s so precious, I can’t believe he is actually here” she said and Clarke and Lexa nodded in understanding.

It was just yesterday that he was still in his mommy’s belly, waiting to get out, and now he was finally here. A little too early, but everything was fine.

“Yeah, He’s the best thing I’ve ever done” Clarke said as she shared a look with her girlfriend. Their baby had been asleep the whole time when their friends and family had been there, and Lexa wanted the others to see how beautiful he was when he was awake too.

It was like the baby read Lexa’s mind because he stirred and started to fuss in Raven´s arms and she was freaking out internally.

“Uhm, I think he wants his moms” Raven said as she handed him over to Clarke who gladly took her tiny treasure.

“He is probably hungry, he hasn’t eaten since the nurse fed him right after he was born”
Clarke said as she went to breastfeed her son.


“Okay people, get out.” Lexa said as she gestured for their friends to leave their room to let them have some peace and quiet. She also didn’t like that their friends were watching Clarke feed their baby. Especially not Bellamy and the other boys.

“You’re welcome to come back later though” she added as they started to walk out of their room, and Lexa sighed in relief as Octavia closed the door behind her.

After spending a few hours in the hospital with them, Lexa was tired and she could tell that Clarke was tired too, despite being happy to see them all and for all the spontaneous gifts they brought with them. Jasper had actually bought shoes for their baby, as if he’s gonna need them when he’s barely a day old.

Besides, they needed a little time to themselves before the next rush of people came to see them. Lexa’s parents were on their way from their vacation down in Texas, and she needed to rest as much as possible before they got there, because they could be a handful sometimes.

“We should probably get some rest before the next rush comes in” Lexa told Clarke and the blonde nodded her agreement as she yawned.

 

 

 

Chapter Text

“Lexa he is wonderful” Anastasia cooed softly as she held Ethan in her arms. Lexa smiled fondly at her as she listened to Clarke’s light snoring from beside her. Anastasia and Gustus arrived half an hour after Clarke had fallen asleep and Lexa figured she should let her girlfriend sleep and regain her strength.

“He looks so handsome, are you sure this is your kid?” Gustus teased and Lexa had to keep herself from laughing because she didn’t want to wake up the blonde.

“I’m sure, yes” Lexa said softly as she studied her parents as they were studying their first grand child. “He has my eyes”. She smirked and her father chuckled softly.

“What’s his name?” Her mother asked softly as she watched the baby sleep in her arms. Lexa waited for a few moments, she wasn’t sure how her parents were going to take it, or if they would like it? What if they didn’t like it? What if-


“His name is Ethan Jacob, or EJ for short” Clarke said softly, her voice was groggy from sleeping and Lexa was glad that the blonde interrupted her train of thought. The brunette looked up at her parents, and she could see the slight trembling in her father’s lip.

“Really?” Gustus asked softly and Lexa nodded her head at. “Well he definitely looks like a though one” He said lightly and gently stroked his grandsons cheeks. Lexa studied her parents with their first grandchild. She didn’t picture it to happen so soon, at the age of twenty four. She always thought she would be older when it happened, but she wouldn’t have it any other way because this is her baby. Her and Clarke’s, and he is the best thing she has ever done in her life.

Clarke gently leaned her head against her shoulder, and Lexa placed a soft kiss on top of her head. “I’m proud of you” she whispered gingerly and smiled down at her. “Why?” Clarke murmured sleepily and looked up at her with curious eyes.

“Because... because you just had a baby, survived a surgery, and for always being the best person you can be... and for being a great mother from this day on” Lexa said as she wiped a few of Clarke’s tears.

“That have to be the gayest shit I’ve ever seen” Lexa heard the familiar voice and her head snapped towards the door to see Anya. Her cousin slowly walked over to them and slumped down in one of the chairs.

“Anya? How, What? Aren’t you supposed to be at the football camp?” Lexa asked, completely shocked to see her cousin there.

“Yeah, and then I heard that Clarke got into an accident and had to be rushed to the hospital.” Anya shrugged as if it made all the sense in the world. “Speaking of it, how did this happen exactly? And why is Uncle Gus crying at a baby?” Anya asked confused, before her face turned and her gaze landed on Clarke’s slightly smaller stomach and let out a gasp.

“Nooo? Whaat? Really? Is that... is that him? The baby? He is here? Already?” The blonde said with her eyes wide open and her brows nearly reaching her hairline.

“Yeah. That’s him. Little EJ. Or Ethan Jacob” Lexa said with a smile as she studied her cousin.

“When Raven called me she just mentioned Clarke being hurt and you losing your shit” Anya explained. “Wow... So. He is here? Like isn’t he supposed to arrive in three weeks? What happened?” She said as she looked at Lexa for some answer, and Lexa suddenly remembered that she didn’t know. What had caused this to happen exactly?


She looked over to Clarke, and the blonde was on the verge of tears as Lexa waited for her to explain.

“Okay, uhm.. Lexa.. please don’t be angry, and remember that I love you very much and that both me and the baby are fine, Okay?” Clarke said carefully and Lexa’s heart sped up. She nodded her head silently and waited for Clarke to continue. The blonde was dying from embarrassment and she tried her best not to blush as she turned her gaze to Anya.

“Okay, So.. short version is that me and my mom put up EJ’s nursery in her home, because I was freaking out because Lexa has barely started the nursery in her place. So we put most of it together and then I felt nauseous and went to lay down. And I fell asleep, and woke up about forty minutes later because I had to throw up. So I barely made it to the bathroom and threw up a couple of times. And I couldn’t fall asleep after that and I was restless and so I wanted something to eat and I really.. really craved cookies. So I tried to make them at two in the morning. And I climbed on the counter to get the sack of flour from the top shelf, but then it was heavier than I thought and I lost my balance and crash landed on the floor, teared my placenta and next thing I know my mom is cradling me and telling me to breathe” Clarke said in one breath and the silence that followed was so heavy that she wondered if time had stopped.


“So.. you’re saying.. that you are here... in the hospital.. because you wanted cookies? At two in the morning?” Anya said, not sure if you understood correctly and Clarke nodded her head softly as she looked down at her hands. She was afraid of Lexa’s reaction, she didn’t want to hurt the brunette.

“Wow.. that’s... that’s a story for the grandkids” Anya tried to joke to lighten the mood, but the tension in the room was so heavy they could cut it with a knife. “Lex?” Anya asked as she looked at her cousin who stared blankly into the air with furrowed eyebrows.

Lexa was so lost in her thoughts she couldn’t focus on what was happening around her. Clarke had a craving... a craving for cookies. If Lexa had been there, she could have made Clarke cookies. And then none of this would have happened. If she had just been honest about her plans this weekend, everything could have been fine. Clarke wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and she wouldn’t have felt the pain of nearly losing the love of her life. Because of what? Some damn cookies at two in the morning?

She abruptly stood up from the bed. She had to get some fresh air. Needed to get out of there and clear her head.

“Lexa?” She heard Clarke’s voice as she walked out the door. She could hear her parents calling her name too, and then she heard their baby crying before the door slammed shut behind her. She walked down the hall and paved back and forth in front of the hospital nursery. It hit her full force. All the thoughts she had refused to acknowledge. It was her fault. Oh god. This was all her fault. She should have been there for her. Clarke wanted cookies and she wasn’t there. It never occurred to her that something so small could end in catastrophe. Not to her at least. But it did. Or almost.


—————


“Lexa!” Clarke yelled just before the brunette exited the room. She leaned her head against the pillow and sighed as EJ’s crying filled the room. Anastasia tried her best to calm the baby, but he wouldn’t stop crying. She carefully walked with him to give him back to his mother and Clarke gladly accepted her baby boy.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay baby” she cooed as she placed him on her chest, rubbing small soothing circles on his back until the crying subsided.

“Do you want me to go after her?” Gustus asked gently from where he stood behind his wife. He had always been the good one at calming Lexa down and talk some sense into her. Clarke shook her head.

“No, let her have a few moments to breathe. It’s been a stress night for her and I think she needs this time to herself. I’m sorry if I-“ Clarke started but Anastasia cut her off. She could sense what Clarke was about to apologize for a mile away, and she would not have any of it.

“Don’t apologize, Clarke. You’re pregnant.. or were pregnant. Cravings happens all the time at the most ungodly hours of the day. There was no way you could have known this was going to happen. So don’t apologize” the woman said and stared Clarke deep in the eyes, hoping the blonde would take her words to heart.

“Okay.” Clarke whispered gently as she continued to rub EJ’s back for a few more minutes. “Uhm.. I.. I want to check on her, but I’m not allowed to walk yet. Could you.. maybe pass me the wheelchair in the corner over there?” Clarke said as she looked at Anya who silently got up and wheeled it over to the blonde.

Clarke carefully got up with EJ still in her arms and her legs wobbled slightly as she sat down in the chair. Anya grabbed one of the pillows on the bed and placed it in Clarke’s lap so she could let the baby rest against it.

“So, where do you think she is?” Anya asked as she looked down at Clarke and the baby and Clarke furrowed her brows.

“My best guess would be either somewhere near the nursery or outside” Clarke said and Anya nodded her head as she started to push the chair towards the door.

“We’ll be right back Mr and Mrs Woods” Clarke told them. “You can just hang out in here, or go to the cafeteria to grab something to eat, I’m not sure how long this will take”.

With that they exited the room and Anya wheeled her down the hallway to search for the brunette. When they rounded the corner to the hospital nursery, Clarke sighed with relief as she spotted her favorite brunette sitting in one of the chairs. Her eyes were red and puffy and it was obvious that she had been crying.


“Lexa?” Clarke said softly as they approached her. The brunette lifted her gaze to look at Clarke and it was so heartbreaking. “I’m sorry”. The blonde said as she looked at her girlfriend. She wasn’t sure how to approach this conversation and she didn’t want Lexa to run off again.

“Clarke... you don’t have to apologize. I- I... if I had been honest.. from the start. This would never had happened. I wasn’t hanging out with Anya...” Lexa started and cast a glance at her cousin. “I... I was home the whole time... uhm.. putting lil nuggets nursery together. I.. I wanted it to be a surprise for Monday when you were supposed to come over. I wanted everything to be done and look perfect, because you deserve better than what I have been the past two weeks. I’m sorry, Clarke. If I had been there for you....» Lexa said with tagged breaths and her voice kept trembling and cracking.

“Lexa...” Clarke sighed and cut her off. This was not the brunette’s fault and she hated that Lexa was blaming herself. “Baby, this ain’t your fault. Okay? There was no way you could have known this would happen. And besides, me and EJ are fine. He’s a though one, like his mama” Clarke said softly, forgetting that Anya was standing behind her.


“If you don’t mind , I think I’ll go to the old ones” Anya said and both Clarke and Lexa jumped slightly.

“Yeah, of course” Lexa said and Anya took off.


They sat in silence for a while, Clarke still in the wheelchair holding EJ, and Lexa sitting in one of the chairs. Neither was sure how to start the conversation and silently waited for the other to begin. In the end it was Lexa who broke the silence.

“I’m sorry I stormed out like I did, I just needed to clear my head for a bit” she murmured softly and Clarke nodded in understanding.


“It’s okay, I understand. I would have done the same thing.” The blonde said as she gently rocked EJ in her arms. Lexa stood up from her chair and crouched down in front of Clarke. “I.. I love you. I just want you to remember that, Okay? I love you and EJ so so much and I don’t ever want to see you hurt. Ever. I know it is impossible to avoid, but I... I’ve almost lost you twice. I just.. I- Life is short and fragile and you never know what it throws at you. What I do know though... is that I want to spend every second of my existence trying to make you happy. To make you smile over stupid little things. Watch you grow into the most wonderful mom you could ever be, and just grow old with you. Because Clarke Elizabeth Griffin you are the light in my life. You make me see colors and you are extraordinary. I know we have only known each other a year. Been together for ten months, but will you-“

Clarke cut her off before she could even finish her last sentence. “Yes”.

“You haven’t even heard my question” Lexa chuckled lightly.

“I don’t need to hear it, the answer is yes” Clarke smiled widely before leaning forward to kiss the tip of her nose. “But ask me anyways”.


“Will you... move in with me?” Lexa said dead serious and Clarke’s face fell a little bit, but she was still happy. Lexa noticed the subtle change in her girlfriends behavior, but didn’t comment on it.

“I mean, I basically already live at your place, considering that I spend most of my time with you already. And I have a drawer with clothes and my favorite mug and...” Clarke started rambling. She had no idea why she suddenly got so emotional but before she could do anything about it she was crying and mumbling incoherent words.

“Clarke? Are you okay?” Lexa asked as she tried to brush her tears away. She knew what Clarke thought the question was gonna be, and she was right. It was exactly what she was going to ask, she was just trying to mess with her.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I am crying... I just- I.. I thought you were going to ask me something else” Clarke sniffled and looked down at their baby who had fallen asleep on the pillow in her lap.

“Yeah? What did you think I was going to ask you?” Lexa asked as she studied the blonde. She tried to keep her smirk at bay, but it was hard.

“I... It doesn’t matter. I.. just.. I thought you were gonna say-“

“Clarke, will you marry me?” Lexa cut her off and smiled brightly at Clarke’s glare.

“You little piece of shit... of course I’ll marry you” Clarke croaked out as she started to cry again and Lexa enveloped her in a hug, careful not to squeeze their baby boy. “You hear that EJ? Mommy said yes” Lexa cooed to the sleeping baby and Clarke could swear she saw a smile across their son’s face.

“I love you” Clarke breathed and looked lovingly at Lexa.

“I love you too”.

 

“Fucking finally! It was so hard to keep this a secret” Anya said exasperated as she came up behind them with Lexa’s parents in tow. The brunette just chuckled and Clarke smiled up at them, looking extremely happy. For the first time in a long time things looked bright for them.

 

 

 

Chapter Text

 

After spending a little over a week in the hospital due to Ethan’s early birth, they were finally allowed to go home. Clarke had spent some time arguing with her mother about where the baby would spend his first few weeks of his life, and after a lot of reasoning from her mother’s part she finally caved and they agreed that they would stay at the Griffin household. Lexa wasn’t too happy about that, but she understood where Abby was coming from.

“Do you have everything?” Lexa asked as she carefully buckled Ethan in his car seat.

“Yeah, I think so” Clarke said and smiled softly at her. The sight of Lexa holding their baby in the car seat made Clarke’s heart warm, and she was really excited to finally take their baby home. It somehow made it seem more real. Just having him home and actually start using the baby products they had bought and gotten from their friends and family.

 

“You ready to go home, baby boy?” Lexa cooed, and ethan started crying in his seat. “I guess not” The brunette mumbled as she unbuckled him and lifted him up again.

“I don’t think he likes his seat” Clarke said as she closed the zipper of the diaper bag and walked over to take the baby from Lexa. Lexa carefully handed him over and Clarke gently rocked back and forth a few times to get him to sleep again. There is no way she will survive the twenty minute drive from the hospital with her baby crying.

“I’ll just carry him until we get to the car, hopefully he is asleep when we get there” Clarke said and Lexa nodded in agreement.

 

They walked downstairs to check out and get all the information they would need for the home bringing of their baby. They had to sign some papers and chatted lightly with one of the nurses who helped them during their stay.

“Okay, you’re set and ready to go” the woman behind the counter said and Clarke smiled sweetly at her. She was so ready to get home now. Hospitals wasn’t exactly her favorite places to be. Ethan had miraculously fallen asleep during their checkout and Lexa managed to buckle him back in the car seat and drape a soft blanket over his tiny body to keep him warm.

“You ready?” Lexa asked as she picked up the car seat with one hand and gently held Clarke’s hand in the other. “Yeah” The blonde smiled softly at her, they were finally going home with their new family member.

 

———————

 

“Clarke..?” Lexa mumbled softly as she rubbed her eyes.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. He was hungry and fussing and you looked so peaceful I thought I’d let you sleep” Clarke whispered as she rocked Ethan gently in her arms walking around slowly in the room. They had been home for a little over a week now and Ethan had developed a habit of waking up at four in the morning, which drove Clarke crazy sometimes. She was not a morning person.

 

“I don’t mind” Lexa whispered as she got up and stood behind her fiancée. It was still weird to say it. She had proposed without a ring, but her father came to her rescue with her grandmothers old engagement ring.

 

“I know he is just two weeks old, but damn I wish he could just sleep through one night. One night from 9 pm to at least 8 am. That’s all I’m asking.” Clarke whispered and turned to look at Lexa.

“I know baby, it’s tiring, but he is here, and strong and so handsome. And he loves you and I love you, so much. You’re such a good mom.” Lexa said softly and placed a kiss on top of her head.

“I love you too” Clarke murmured and kissed her gently, leaning a little bit to close to the brunette waking their baby who had just fallen asleep.

 

“No no no no... baby, shh, it’s okay” Clarke whined as she started walking around again. Lexa just watched her with amusement, Clarke was so cute with their baby. Even though she always pretended to be annoyed with him, she could tell that the blonde loved him more than life itself.

 

“I can take him if you want, so you can go back to sleep” Lexa offered and Clarke stopped walking for a second, contemplating what to do. She carefully handed Lexa the baby before she fell face first onto the bed. Motherhood was exhausting and she dreaded that Lexa had to go back to work in a couple of days.

Ethan was a charm during the day. He smiled when he was awake, only cried when he was hungry or needed a diaper change, and then he would sleep. The nights were the hard part. He would sleep for a couple of hours. Then wake up and cry every hour and it was exhausting. The blonde was so glad that she was taking a gap year because there is no way in hell she could ever juggle being a mother and keep up with school.

She listened to Lexa’s soft singing as she walked around the room trying to get Ethan to sleep. She slowly drifted off and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

 

——————

 

Lexa was sitting in her office between classes grading some papers her students had turned in the day before. Their job was to analyze a painting of choice from the period they liked the most. She was actually surprised by some of them. This new student, Madeline, who was a freshman, did really good for it being one of the first assignments of the year. She had no idea how she ended up in her class, because the rest of her students were sophomores.

“Hey, Miss Vie” Lexa said as she turned around in her chair, looking over to one of her new colleagues, Luna Vie.

“Please, call me Luna. What is it?” Luna said as she looked over at her.

“Do you know who Madeline Forest is?” Lexa asked curiously.

“Uhm, no, I don’t think I’ve heard her name before no” Luna said with furrowed brows. “How come?”

“It says on my class list that she is a freshman, but I teach sophomores in this class this year. It just confuses me” Lexa said as she studied the name. How did this girl end up in her class?

“Maybe the freshman class got full or something?” Luna said, but Lexa shook her head. They didn’t offer that here, that she knew of. This was her second year and she had spent the last year familiarizing herself with the rules and the place.

Lexa turned back to her paperwork and her phone lit up with a new message from Clarke, it was a picture of Ethan attached to it.

Clarke:
Finally got this little fella to sleep! It was hard without you. He refuses to sleep without his mama

 

Lexa looked at her sleeping son. He looked so cute in his little bassinet beside Clarkes bed. He was a little over a month now and Lexa hated that he was growing so fast.

 

Lexa:
He’s growing up so fast! Give him a kiss from me. I love you both <3

 

Clarke: Will do! We love you too. Can’t wait till you get home, I miss you! <3

 

Lexa looked down at her phone. She felt bad for leaving Clarke at home with their son. She felt so bad for getting Clarke pregnant and taking away her opportunity to finish school before going into motherhood, but she wouldn’t have it any other way if it meant not having their son. He is the most perfect thing they could have ever done.

 

“Cute baby, is it yours?” Luna said as she came up behind Lexa.

“Yeah, he’s mine.” Lexa said with a broad smile.

“Who’s the father? Aren’t you supposed to have a maternity leave or something?” Luna asked confused.

“Well, uhm... you seem like a great person, so I’m just gonna say it as it is. I didn’t give birth to him, I’m a lesbian, and I’m also what would be the baby daddy” Lexa said sheepishly. She was tired of hiding who she is, and Clarke had made her see herself as beautiful and that everyone who can’t see that are narrow minded assholes who doesn’t deserve her. Clarke’s words, not hers.

“Oh... oh! So you.. your trans?” Luna asked and Lexa nearly burst out laughing. Not that she had anything against trans people. She actually has a lot of trans friends. She just had never had anyone think that she was one.

“Well, I’m intersex” Lexa blurted out. She didn’t know why she just told her new coworker that, but it was something about Luna that made her seem like an understanding person.

 

“Really? You? I would never have guessed! Great job creating that, he’s adorable. So who is the baby mama?” The brown eyed girl said as she sat down in the chair beside Lexa who just gasped at her.

“I yeah? You’re not weirded out?” The brunette asked just to be sure and Luna just shrugged her shoulders.

“No, not really. My brother is intersex. Just opposite. He has a vagina, but he has tests.. I’m not sure how it works, I just know that it only happens to a few people” Luna said and Lexa just hummed, not sure how to respond.

“So who’s the baby mama? If I may ask” Luna said sweetly as she studied Lexa.

“Um.. her name is Clarke. She’s the most amazing person I have ever met and she makes the world seem like a better place. She’s the love of my life” Lexa said simply. Now that Clarke wasn’t her student anymore, she didn’t feel the need to hide their relationship to people.

“Clarke Griffin? Huh.. I... is she the one who won the school price for best art student or something two years ago?”

“Yeah, that would be her.” Lexa said afraid that Luna would change her mind about her once she would find out she had an illegal relationship with her student.

“Wow. Well... congrats landing that. My third cousin, Finn, dated her for a while. I always assumed she was more into girls. So you guys got together...”

“When she was my student... yes. We tried to be in denial about all of it, but it ended up hurting us both. And then she got into an accident and I realized that I would rather risk my career than not have her at all” Lexa said and Luna actually... poured?

“Aww, man. That’s so cute! I mean.. I know it is illegal, but damn... you two are like a power couple. I think you are one of those couples who are just destined to be together... does that seem weird? That I think that? I know we just met and everything but like...”

“It is a little weird yeah. I’m just glad you’re not threatening to deliver my head to Indra.” Lexa chuckled slightly, a little nervous.

“I won’t tell anyone. Besides.. she’s not your student anymore. It’s not like they can do anything about it now anyway” Luna shrugged and got up from the chair to walk over to her own desk. “I think we’ll get along pretty well” The brunette said before she left the room to teach her next class. Lexa was left at her desk wondering what the hell just happened.

 

——————

 

“Hey babe, I missed you” Clarke said as Lexa walked through the door to the Griffin house. She placed a soft kiss to Clarke’s lips and lingered there for a few moments before pulling away.

“I missed you too” Lexa breathed as she enveloped her girl in a hug. She really had missed the blonde. It was weird not seeing her in class everyday. “Where is EJ?”

“My mom took him for a stroll. She and Marcus Wanted to show him the park, not that he will remember anything about it anyway. Just something about grandparents bonding time” Clarke chuckled softly.

“So we have the house to ourselves?” Lexa asked and her eyes darkened slightly as her arms snakes around the blondes waist.

“Mhm” Clarke hummed before she crashed their lips together. Lexa hoisted her up by the thighs and carried Clarke up the stairs and into her room. She never broke their kiss until she carefully laid Clarke down in the bed. She quickly got rid of both of their clothes and lined up with the blondes entrance.

“You ready?” Lexa asked softly and Clarke nodded her head. They hadn’t had sex in nearly five months and it was driving them insane. Clarke’s scar from her c-section was still a little red, but it was healing nicely, it was also one of the reasons they had put off having sex after their son was born. That and the fact that they were exhausted and busy all the time.

Lexa gently pushed the head of her dick inside and Clarke let out a soft moan at the feeling. The blonde circled her hands around the brunette’s back as she started a slow pace. Pushing in and out of her.

Lexa leaned down and connected their lips in a sweet kiss as she kept a steady pace. Not wanting to rush this. She trailed soft kisses from Clarke’s mouth to her earlobe and then down her neck.

“Lexa.. please.. faster” Clarke moaned as she could feel her approaching orgasm. Lexa just continued in the same pace. Long slow thrusts, just taking in the feeling of having Clarke wrapped around her again. She continued to leave lingering kisses and love bites on her lovers body.

“Lexa...” Clarke whined softly, hoping the brunette would pick up her pace. “Baby, I don’t know how long my mom is gonna be out with our baby, and I would really like to-“

The rest of the blondes sentence died in her throat as Lexa suddenly started to pound into her. The brunette set a fast pace and lowered her hand to stroke her clit.

“Oh.. my.. Lexa! Fuck” Clarke gasped as she felt the familiar fluttering in her lower stomach. She could tell that Lexa was close too. “Ah, Yes! Baby, just like that” The blonde moaned and clawed at her back, leaving angry red scratch marks. Lexa’s hips slowly lost their rhythm and before she knew what was happening, Clarke stiffened beneath her and her toes curled before she let out the sexiest sound Lexa has ever heard. Seconds later the brunette pulled out and shot her cum onto the blondes stomach.

“Fuck..” Clarke breathed out as Lexa collapsed on top of her, catching her breath.

“Fuck indeed” Lexa breathed and Clarke chuckled. “I really missed doing that” Lexa said as she laid and listened to the blondes heartbeat. It was strong and even, just the way it was supposed to be. She hoped she’d never have to feel it it stop again, at least not until they get old and slip away peacefully.

“I love you, Clarke” Lexa whispered softly as a few tears escaped her eyes.

“I love you more, baby” The blonde breathed as she gently played with the baby curls in Lexa’s neck. They laid like that until they heard the telltale sign of the others getting home, and the sound of the front door opening and closing letting them know that their baby was home again.

Chapter Text

Lexa was walking through the park with Anya and Ethan. The baby was gurgling and making cute baby noises in his stroller, smiling up at his mama and Lexa smiled down at him, readjusting his blanket every time he would kick it off.

“So, how is everything going with Clarke? You guys doing okay?” Anya asked casually as they strolled through the park.

“We’re fine, we are doing great. I just.. I wish I could be there for her more you know? I’m at work every day except the weekends and she is stuck at home with EJ. I feel bad.” Lexa said honestly and looked down at her baby.

“It’s okay, Lex. I mean, you have to go to work, Clarke understands that and she loves you.” Anya tried to reassure her.

“Yeah, I know, I just wish I could be there more. I feel like I’m missing out on things with EJ, and I can tell that she’s getting upset. She has every right to be, I mean.. It’s been two months. I missed his first real smile.” Lexa said sadly.

“How about we stop by the flower shop on our way back, and you buy something nice for her? Tell her how you feel, and that you’re sorry for missing out on things. I know it is hard for you both. It’s not like you can ask Indra for a maternity leave, that would be suspicious” Anya said softly and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah... I thought about it, but I didn’t know how without outing myself and our secret. I... I want Clarke to be happy, but I feel like I’ve taken away a part of her life, you know? If it wasn’t for me, she could be studying art or medicine in college now, following her dreams. I just... I know that it was her decision to keep the baby, and I agreed, but we didn’t really stop to think about things. Everything was happening so fast.” Lexa said, not really paying attention to Anya. She just needed to get this off her mind. It had been bothering her for quite some time now.

“Lexa.. Clarke loves you. She fucking adores the crap out of you. You’re making her happy by just existing. The way she looks at you is so gross and loving and it makes me want to gag because you two are meant for each other. She’s your fiancée for crying out loud! By the way, when is the wedding?” Anya said. She needed Lexa to stop her thoughts from eating her alive, leading her to do something irrational she was going to regret.

Lexa just hummed in response, not really sure what else to say. Of course she knew that Clarke loves her, she isn’t blind. The brunette stopped dead in her tracks as she spotted Costia at one of the food trucks nearby. Oh god no. This wasn’t happening.

“Lexa?” Anya asked questioningly, not understanding why the brunette suddenly halted. She followed her cousins gaze and her mood changed instantly. “That little piece of-“ she said as she went to lunge forwards, but she stopped when she felt a hand on her wrist holding her in place.

“Anya, don’t... she’s not worth it. Let’s go home” Lexa said and went to turn around with Anya and the stroller. She barely took two steps before she heard her voice. The voice of the woman she never wanted to see again.

 

“Lexa? Lexa Woods?” Costia asked as she came up behind them. Lexa did everything in her power not to slap her across the face and just leave her. She turned around and fixed her with a cold bone chilling glare.

“Costia?” She said not impressed to see the brunette at all.

“What are you doing here?” Costia asked. It was clear that the woman didn’t know what to say. Lexa had no idea what to do. This was her first love. The person she thought she’d be with forever, until she came home a year and a half ago to find her in bed with another person. And to make it even worse it was a man.

“I live here” Lexa replied simply, already annoyed with the conversation. All she wanted to do was get home to Clarke and cuddle with her.

“You look good... I-“ Costia started but Lexa had enough.

“What do you want from me.. Costia? I left you... And I’m pretty sure I made myself clear when I said I never wanted to see you again. So why are you here?” Lexa gritted out. She could tell that Anya wanted to give her a piece of her mind too.

“I.. I want to apologize... for what I did. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I-“ Costia started but stopped abruptly when she heard the cry of a baby.

Lexa almost sighed with relief when Ethan started to cry in his stroller. He must have sensed that something was wrong. She carefully lifted the baby up and draped the blanked around his little body. He was wearing his teddy bear overall that Anya had bought him and it came in handy on the chilly days like today.

 

“Shh... it’s okay, it’s okay baby boy.” Lexa cooed softly as she held him close to her body. Rubbing his back gently to calm him down.

 

“You..? Is he yours?” Costia asked, it almost sounded lit disbelief or something close to it. Almost like she didn’t expect Lexa to have moved on and started a new life, and it made her angry.

“Yes. He is.” Lexa said simply.

“He is cute.” The brunette said sarcastically, and Lexa saw red. Who the fuck does she think she is? Coming up to her, after everything, and think that Lexa would still be the emotional mess she was after their breakup. Before she could say anything, Anya finally opened her mouth.

 

“Listen to me you piece of shit... you have no right, and I mean no. Fucking. Right. To come up here and talk to my cousin that way. You had your fucking chance, Okay! And you fucked it all up because you’re a LYING! CHEATING! WHORE! and you don’t deserve her. So why don’t you just pack up your ugly little face and leave us the fuck alone. Lexa is happy. She’s happy, engaged and in love with someone new. Someone who actually deserves her and is capable of loving her back. So just shut the fuck up! And leave!” Anya roared out, gathering the attention to many bypassing people.

“Oh yeah? You mean Clarke? Aka your student?” Costia said with an evil smirk and Lexa looked at her with wide eyes.

“Oh yeah. I know you you’re dating one of your previous students. And that baby is at least two months old which means if he is yours.. you got her knocked up sometime near Christmas last year. And everyone knows that a teacher student relationship is illegal... Lexa” Costia said and Lexa had never felt the urge to murder someone more than in that moment. This bitch was not going to ruin her life a second time.

 

“How do you know?” Anya asked with a raised brow.

“It’s common sense that a teacher student relationship is illegal-“

 

“No.. how do you know about Clarke? You and Lexa have no mutual friends anymore. And you sure as hell don’t know Clarke or any of her friends... so how do you know her?” Anya kept pressing. Studying law had its perks sometimes because she had gotten pretty good at reading people.

“I.. Well... her ex boyfriend..” Costia stuttered and Anya stared her down, daring her to leave it at that.

“I call bullshit. The only reason I can think of.. is that you never got over Lexa. Her dumping you left you a broken mess because you thought you could get away with cheating. So you do the only thing that makes sense to you. You stalk her... you follow her every move.. until she does something scandalous.. something to make it easy for you to ruin her life a second time. Because that’s what you do... you ruin lives. You don’t even live in this town Costia. There is no reason for you to even be here. You’re a sick and pathetic bitch who is out to get my cousin.” Anya rambled and Lexa felt like she was in a Sherlock Holmes movie. “And you’re going to fail. So just pack your shit and leave”. Anya said and Costia stared at her open mouthed. It was like Anya had hit a nerve and the woman opened and closed her mouth a few times before throwing her hands up in surrender and turning to leave.

 

“Wow... that was intense..” Lexa breathed out as she turned to look at her cousin. “How did you know?”

“Well... she doesn’t live here. So that’s one. The way she just happens to be at the park we scheduled to meet at, is proof number two, because it seemed like she was prepared. The way she said your name when she came up. She wasn’t surprised, it was like she expected it” Anya shrugged. She could have been wrong though. So she was happy that the woman left without arguing further.

“Wow... she really is crazy, huh?” Lexa said before they both burst out laughing.

 

—————

 

“I really love you” Clarke murmured as she pecked Lexa’s cheek. She sat down on the couch next to the brunette who were feeding their son with a bottle of milk.

 

“I love you too, Clarke” Lexa whispered softly. She still hadn’t said anything about her run in with her ex, because she didn’t want to worry the blonde. It was gnawing at her insides. What if Costia called her in? Would she do that? Probably? Lexa had no idea.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Clarke said softly as she carefully stroked Ethan’s chubby little cheeks. She could tell that something was up with her girlfriend, but she didn’t want to pressure Lexa to tell her.

“Yeah, I know” Lexa said, never taking her eyes away from their baby. He was so perfect. Clarke smiled softly at her and placed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. She slowly got up from the couch and started walking towards the kitchen. Lexa just stared after her as the blonde disappeared behind the corner.

 

Clarke grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before sitting down by the kitchen island. She took a few sips and put her head in her hands. She gently rubbed her temples and sighed. Lexa was hiding something from her and it was bothering her. Ever since she came back from her walk with EJ a week ago the brunette had been acting differently around her. It was driving her insane how Lexa could go from smiling softly at her one moment and then completely shut down and not meet her gaze for hours.

She picked up her phone and sent a text to Raven. She needed to talk to someone before she went insane. Was she only imagining things?
Griffindoor: Rae? Do you think Lexa is behaving differently?

 

The reply came almost instantly and Clarke sighed at the answer.

 

Raebae: I don’t know man. Maybe a little. She was a bit weird the other day when I ran into her. I can speak to Anya about it?

 

Griffindoor: Do you think she’s getting tired of us? Me and EJ? I mean, she has been busy lately and I feel like she’s slipping away.

 

Raebae: Clarke. That girl loves you. The heart eyes she’s sending you. Bleh. Makes me wanna puke because you two are grossly in love. Anya won’t tell me anything btw. I’m sorry :/

 

Clarke read it and smiled. They were kind of gross and in love. She also wondered when Raven would grow some balls and ask Anya out. It had been a little over a year since they met and it was painfully obvious that they were into each other.

 

Griffindoor: So Lexa is just her old self, and I’m going insane? Maybe it’s the lack of sleep that causes me to miss read things.

 

Raebae: I mean, probably. But have you tried asking her?

 

Griffindoor: Yeah. Just a few minutes ago. Or like.. I tried to, I asked if she knew she could tell me anything that is bothering her and she said she knows. I think she is hiding something from me. She wouldn’t even look at me.

 

Raebae: Clarke, maybe you’re reading too much into this? Maybe she’s had a bad day or week? I don’t know. You guys will be fine. Whatever it is, I know you’ll be fine. You’re soulmates for fucks sake.

 

Griffindoor: Yeah. I guess you’re right. I just, I love her. Like crazy. Thank you, I just needed to talk to someone about it. I love you Rae <3

 

Raebae: No problem Clarkey. I’m here for you no matter what, Okay? I love you too. Keep me posted on the commander hotstuff case. Ttyl ;*

 

Griffindoor: Will do ;* ttyl.

 

 

Clarke grabbed her bottle of water and walked back into the living room to join Lexa on the couch. She plopped down next to the brunette and gently placed her head on her shoulder.

“We did a good job, eh?” Clarke joked as she gestured to the now sleeping baby.

“Yeah.. the best. I didn’t know I was capable of loving someone as much as I love you two” Lexa breathed and played with Clarke’s hair with her free hand.

 

“Lexa...” Clarke sighed. The brunette understood where this was going. She couldn’t avoid it forever, she knew she had to tell her.

 

“I ran into Costia...” Lexa started and she could feel Clarke tense up against her. “She approached me, and started talking and I was so angry at her. So damn angry that she had the nerve to talk to me after what happened. She cheated on me. It’s almost been two years. I just wanted to leave.. but then Ethan started crying and I picked him up to calm him down. And she insulted our baby... she knows.. Clarke. I never said anything about you, but she knows. I have no idea how or when it happened, but she knows and I’m afraid. I don’t know what is going to happen. Anya basically accused her of stalking me, and I think she was right. I think she is looking for something to make my life miserable again, and I think she found a way.” Lexa explained. She never meant for this to happen.

 

“So.. Costia knows about us? Because she’s a crazy stalker? I... don’t know what to say.” Clarke said. She was relieved that Lexa finally told her what was bothering her. She hated that said thing potentially could ruin them.

“I’m sorry Clarke. I’m so so sorry. I never meant for this to happen.” Lexa said as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Lexa, it’s not your fault. Baby, look at me. I love you, Okay. You’re not a bad person. And I mean... I was the one who basically forced myself on you. I don’t think I gave you fair options. For you this was always a lose lose situation. That has to count for something... it has to.” Clarke whispered. She could feel her heart raising a little.

“It was so hard... so damn hard not to fall for you. You have no idea. I think I’d probably have pursued you sooner or later, even without your creative antics to get me to see you as something more than a student. You are everything I could have asked for and more. Remember that. Okay? The worst part is that I don’t know Costia enough to know if she will turn me in or not. That scares me. I can’t lose you. Not again. Ever.” Lexa said and silently cried on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Baby, you could never lose me. I’m not your students anymore. It’s not like they can keep us apart anyway. Whatever happens... I... I will be there every step of the way. We all will. Okay? I love you, and I’m not gonna lose you over some stupid fucking law that can fall under an elephant and die. Fuck the American system for making loving someone illegal.” Clarke said and her voice cracked. The thought of losing Lexa made her heart clench painfully.

“Can he sleep in the bassinet tonight?” Lexa asked softly and gestured to their baby. Clarke just chuckled and nodded her head softly. They were trying to get Ethan adjusted to his bed. In both their houses. He always struggled to sleep at Lexa’s house because it was still a bit unfamiliar to him.

“Of course he can. You don’t have to ask me for permission Lexa. He’s your son too, Okay. Just take the charge once in a while” Clarke laughed softly as she wiped her tears away. “Will you put him to bed? I have to pee. I’ll meet you upstairs, okay?” Lexa said softly and kissed Clarke on the head before disappearing into the bathroom.

 

She quickly relieved herself before washing her hands and brushing her teeth. As she gurgled the water in her mouth to get rid of the toothpaste, there was a knock at her door followed by the door bell. She spit the contents in her mouth into the sink before she exited the bathroom.

 

Who would be knocking at her door at this hour? It was a little past eleven.

She carefully walked towards the door before she opened it slowly. She drew in a shuddering breath at the sight on the other side. There were two police officers.

 

“Alexandria Woods?” One of them asked and Lexa gulped as she nodded her head.

 

“You’re under arrest for allegedly having sex with a student. You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be held against you”

 

......

Chapter Text

“Alexandria Woods?” One of them asked and Lexa gulped as she nodded her head.
 
“You’re under arrest for allegedly having sex with a student. You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be held against you”
 
......

 

Lexa’s heart stopped beating. When those words left the officers mouth, everything stopped. It was like she was in a spinning alcoholic haze. It seemed unreal. She could hear the muffled voices from the outside world, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying.

She could hear Clarke calling her name from upstairs, probably asking who’s at the door or why she’s not coming upstairs. Everything went in slow motion. The way the officers spun her around when they handcuffed her, to the slow thumping of footsteps coming down the stairs.

She cast a quick glance up to see Clarke’s heart shattering expression, and her world shattered into a million pieces. As Clarke leapt forward it was like something snapped. Like something hit fast forward. She caught up to everything and she started to struggle against them.

 

“Lexa!” Clarke shouted as she yanked her from the officers grasps, pulling her into the tightest hug. She clung to her like her life depended on it.

“It’s okay, Clarke. It’s okay. I love you. It’s gonna be fine. I promise” Lexa said as the officers finally managed to get control of the situation.

 

“Lexa! No! You can’t do this!” Clarke cried as she followed after the two policemen. They were using an unnecessarily amount of force to someone who basically followed them without fighting. “You can’t do this!” Clarke kept shouting.

“Ma’am, I’m gonna have to ask you to step back.” One of them said and Clarke saw red. “Or what?” The blonde challenged and stared down the officers. She was so angry, and frustrated and sad and confused.

 

“Your so called fiancée has been charged for allegedly having a sexual relationship with a student. So if you could please get out of our way, that would be great”. The man said coldly and Clarke had to laugh. Is he really this clueless?

 

“Yeah! And said fiancée is the fucking ex-student she’s in a relationship with! How about that! I’m over eighteen. You can’t arrest her!” Clarke shouted. She could see the lights flickering on from her mother’s house a few houses down the road. The man stared at her dumbly.

 

“She still needs to come with us. It’s protocol” the man stated.

 

Lexa sent her a look through the window of the vehicle, obviously telling her to not piss the man off even more. Clarke sighed in annoyance.

“Fine.” She said simply and glared at him. They couldn’t do anything to Lexa until they had proof. Lexa was still a free woman. They couldn’t take away her freedom.

She quickly walked up to car and crouched to look at Lexa. “I will get you out, baby. I promise. They’re not taking you away from me. I’ll be right behind” Clarke said and her tears began to fall. The sight of Lexa in a cop car had haunted her dreams and worst nightmares.

 

She stood in the driveway to the brunette’s house, staring helplessly after the departing vehicle.

 

“Clarke!” Clarke heard the familiar voice of her mother. She leapt towards her and crashed into the older woman, crying into her shoulder. “Clarke, what happened?” Abby asked in shock, trying to comfort her shaking daughter.

“T-they took her mom. They handcuffed her and p-placed her in the backseat... like she was some sort of animal.” The blonde cried. They had to go after her. Clarke had to do something. She refused to let them treat her love badly.

 

“Clarke, it’s okay. It’s gonna be alright. Okay? We’ll go after her. Right now. Get Ethan, and we’ll go after her.” Abby instructed as she guided Clarke towards the house again.

Abby found Ethan’s car seat and prepped it with a warm fuzzy blanket. Seconds later Clarke appeared with the sleeping baby. She carefully placed him in the seat, buckling him up before covering his tiny body with the blanket.

 

They got into the car and Abby drove them down to the police station.

 

——————

 

“You have no right to keep me in here” Lexa said calmly as she paced around in the room. She had been alone in there for fifteen minutes. Just her and the table and the two chairs. She knew that someone was watching her through the mirror on the wall, she could tell. Every once in a while there was an unnatural shadowy spot that would move.

“Can I at least get some water” Lexa said to no one in particular. A few moments later a woman arrived with a bottle of water, and Lexa breathed out in annoyance. Why was she held here? Why was no one here with her?

 

“How long do I have to be here?” Lexa asked as she accepted the bottle.

 

“They are getting a hold of your work place and the student involved” the woman said simply before she walked out, leaving Lexa standing like a big question mark.

 

She slumped down on one of the chairs with her head in her hands. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. It felt so unreal. She sighed for the millionth time this evening. She was not gonna let them take her down without a fight.

 

—————

 

“What the fuck do you mean I can’t see her!?” Clarke roared at the man in front of her. This was ridiculous. They were treating the brunette like a fucking criminal.

“She is inside for questioning. You will be able to see her once we got all parts to the story. In The meantime, sit down and wait” the man said annoyed. Maybe it was because it was late, or maybe it was because the bastard had a bad day, but he was acting like a jerk and it annoyed Clarke to no end.

 

She walked over to her mother and Ethan and sat down in the chair next to them.

 

“I don’t understand. I mean. I’m the fucking student. Why aren’t they listening to what I have to say? It matters. It was always consensual. She never touched me without my consent, mom. Never. And I was the one who pursued her. She tried to let me down easy at first, and then she totally broke me by saying we could never be together. She was in denial until the point where I stopped breathing.” Clarke tried to explain. Her voice cracking now and then.

“I know this sucks honey. It is awful. I mean, standing on the outside not knowing anything about the situation, this looks bad to people. But I know you, and I’ve gotten to know her, and I know there is no way in hell she would ever force herself on you or hurt you in any way. We have to make them understand that, Okay?” Abby said as she tried to comfort her daughter. She could tell that this was killing the girl. The not knowing part of it.

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before the presence of another person joined them. Clarke looked up, and was a little surprised to see Indra standing in front of her. The woman crouched down and looked her deeply in the eyes.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you Clarke. I-“ the woman started but Clarke cut her off immediately.

 

“Why are you sorry? Lexa is not to blame for this. She’s not. If anyone is to blame it is me. I’m the one who couldn’t stay away. I’m the one who pursued her. She said no. Multiple times. She told me no. Said this was wrong, that it couldn’t happen, but I knew. I knew I couldn’t stay away from her. She’s perfect. She’s amazing and kind and lovely and she’s the best teacher Arkadia has ever had. So if someone deserves a punishment... it is me.” Clarke said, dead serious as she looked her former principal in the eye.

 

“So you’re saying... that Lexa is not at fault? At all? She knew this was illegal, and yet.. she caved. That means something, Clarke. She broke the law.” Indra said and Clarke was so angry. So damn angry.

 

“Do you want to know why she caved? She caved because one of your students almost killed me. She caved when.. when I was laying in the sand at the small beach at the pond in the Trikru Forrest. With water in my lungs. She caved because the potential love of her life almost died in front of her. When she realized that life is too fragile to wait for things. So if someone deserves a lawsuit or a punishment it is Arkadia High, for being negligent and unable to protect their students from harm.” Clarke said coldly and stared the woman down. Never moving her gaze.

 

“She is right Indra. Lexa don’t deserve this. You know she’s a good person. Hell, even I know it and I threatened to turn her in on the spot. But I didn’t. I could have done something, but I believe my daughter when she tells me that Lexa is a good person. Like she said, Lexa said no until faith forced her to put her career at risk for the love of her life. You can’t seriously tell me that makes anything less than a human being. She can’t go to prison because Clarke is of legal age. She is almost nineteen. I trust that she knows what is good for herself and what’s not. And Lexa is one of the best things that as ever happened to my daughter. I haven’t seen her smile so much since before her dad passed away.” Abby said, backing her daughter. There was no way in hell she was gonna let this ruin her daughter. The Griffins never go down without a fight.

“So you believe she doesn’t deserve punishment for her actions?” Indra asked softly.

“I do. She doesn’t deserve this to happen to her. She’s not to blame. I’m the one to blame for this.” Clarke said, nothing could change her mind. Lexa was the best damn person Clarke has ever met.

 

“Okay” Indra said simply before she stood up.

 

A few moments later an officer approached Clarke, and took her away for interrogation.

 

After spending a few hours talking and explaining everything to the officers, answering their questions and even sit through a lie detector test, Clarke was finally allowed to see the brunette who had been doing the exact same thing.

Clarke ran up to her as soon as door was opened and enveloped her in a bone crushing hug. She silently cried into her shoulder and she could tell that Lexa was crying too. Now it was out of their hands. Whatever happened next was because of the people in charge.

 

“I love you so much” Clarke sniffled as she peppered Lexa’s face with kisses. “I love you too. So much, Clarke. You have no idea. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Lexa said before she pulled her in for a lingering kiss.

They were alone in the room for a couple of minutes before Indra and one of the men they talked to came into the room.

 

“Please have a seat” the man gestured to the two chairs in the room. They both sat down on them and Clarke was shaking so bad. This was it.

 

“After listening to your side, evaluating your answers and looking at the result of the lie detector test... we have discussed and reached the conclusion that you are... free of charge” The man said and they both drew in relieved breaths and Clarke cried with relief. Lexa took a hold of her hand and gently rubbed calming circles on her palm.

 

“However...” The man started and Lexa visibly paled. Oh no. “Since Miss Griffin was under eighteen during the time of your first intercourse... you broke the law” the man continued and Lexa hated the dramatic pauses.

 

“Lexa.. you can keep your job at Arkadia High, if you agree to two weeks worth of community service and a statement from Clarke explaining exactly what happened and that nothing happened without her consent” Indra finished for him.

 

Lexa had never been more relieved in her life. Out of all the scenarios in her head, this had to be the best outcome she could have ever imagined.

 

“Really?” She asked and they both nodded.

 

“You’re free to go. Community service starts on Friday, 5pm to 8 pm. Show up every day for two weeks. Clarke, be prepared to release your statement the same Friday, at 4 pm outside the town hall” the man said before he stepped out of the room.

 

Lexa stood up with Clarke and enveloped her in a fierce hug. Calming her shaking body. “It’s okay, Clarke. Just breathe. Nice and easy. Smell the flowers, blow away the bees” Lexa whispered calmly as she held the blonde in her arms. They were both crying in relief.

 

“I’ll see you on Monday, Lexa” Indra said as she cast them a smile.

 

“Indra” Lexa said and the woman halted in her step and turned to look at them. “Thank you.” The brunette said sincerely and gave her her most genuine smile.

 

“No need, little one. Clarke had me convinced the second she explained everything” Indra said with a wink before she walked out.

 

“You okay?” Lexa asked softly as she rubbed Clarke’s back gently. “Yeah, I’m fine” Clarke smiled up at her, giving her lips a light peck.

 

They walked out of the room to get Abby and Ethan and Abby looked relieved when she saw both of them approaching her.

“How did it go?” She asked hopefully, gently rocking EJ in her arms.

 

“We are free to go. Two weeks of community service, free of charge, and a statement from Clarke saying that nothing happened without her consent” Lexa smiled at her and Abby sighed with relief

“Oh that’s great. That is so great. What about your job? I know a lot of people who needs employees if that’s a problem” Abby said gently.

 

“I got to keep my job. Apparently clarke convinced her with her little speech.” Lexa smiled widely as Clarke clung to her side like a koala.

 

“That’s wonderful! Now the secret is out. No more worrying about this stuff. I called your parents a few hours ago, they’re on their way.” Abby said and Lexa smiled at her. She hadn’t even thought about calling her parents in all of this.

 

“Thank you, Abby” The brunette said and pulled her in for a hug. Careful not to wake the baby.

 

“So What now?” The older woman asked them.

 

“Now..”

 

“Now we go home.. god I’m so tired I could sleep till Christmas” Clarke said as she gently took her sleeping son from her mother. Kissing his head softly.

 

They could finally go home. :)