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Make Me Feel

Chapter Text

Alec always knew when he would come. Always at the Institue, never anywhere else. Always at night when the moon was full. In the beginning he had been afraid people would hear, but Sebastian clearly was able to create a sleep spell for as long as he needed. The time it took for Alec to make Sebastian feel.


It had been a year when he had met him or rather a year since he had been dropped at Sebastian’s feet at the Seelie Court by a group of his men. The fairies had, quite unlike them, disappeared, leaving him to face off with Clary’s crazy brother alone. Sebastian had been sitting on the Queen’s throne, one long leg crossed over another, watching him as Alec got to his feet and brushed himself off. Then he spoke in a melodious soft voice,

"I hope my men haven’t been too rough on you?"

Alec just shot him a nasty look. Sebastian seemed to like that and smiled wickedly,

"But I guess if you didn’t like a bit of rough you wouldn’t have been entangled with a Downworlder."

Alec’s eyes flashed with anger he yet managed to keep under control and Sebastian chuckled,

"So much heat smoldering in you. I love it…you know who I am, of course?"

He didn’t answer that.

"My darling sister still using your angelic stepbrother as a bouncing castle?"

Alec grinned his teeth and Sebastian laughed again,

"Yes, my thought exactly. Revolting. Glad I don’t have to see it on a daily basis…"

"What do you want with me, Jonathan Morgenstern?" Alec said coldly and Clary’s brother stopped smiling.

"Sebastian," he snapped out.

"Whatever," Alec snarled and was annoyed when Sebastian smiled again,

"I had a recurring dream lately…of me and my family…"

"What family?" Alec snarled, and Sebastian thrust forward in his seat like a snake,

"You want to live long enough to kiss your warlock again?"

Alec went pale and Sebastian said, pleasantly, like he hadn’t lost his temper at all,

"In it I was…happy, is that the word?"  His long fingers touched his lips. "My eyes had a different color, my mother loved me, I had sisters. Two." His face changed, became almost vulnerable to look at. "Clarissa and Val…our adorable baby sister."

"How heartwarming," Alec said. "You want to marry her too?"

"It turns out Clary had the same dream in Edom, and in it she marries her muscle-Angel. Whatever his name is. Two people sharing the same dream is significant." He paused and then looked at Alec who shrugged,

"Fascinating, but why - "

"I looked all over for an answer and finally, in a dingy shop in a seedy quarter of Cairo, I found it. What we are seeing are remnants of the life we should have had in Idris. My family. By injecting me with demon blood, my father shattered this world, pulling parts of our lives out of this world." His black eyes never left Alec's face.

"Creating an alternate world," Alec said, against his will becoming intrigued.

"Almost," Sebastian said, getting to his feet, stretching. Alec took a step back. "They are thin shards of illusions, dreams of possibilities floating between this world and the next." He looked at him with an odd determined glance that made Alec’s blood turn cold,

"Why are you…telling me this?"

"I have searched for a way to merge these worlds and finally I found it. But to do that I need a willing Shadowhunter."

Fearing the worst, Alec said, "To do what?"

Sebastian stepped down and Alec saw he was wearing a pendant, a little like Isabelle’s, just black instead of red,

"Valentine, my dear loving father, created so much pain, so to counter that, to remove the evil and darkness from my blood and tie the worlds back into one, I need to experience and give overwhelming pleasure."

For one insane moment Alec thought Sebastian was looking at his lips, and he swallowed.

"I need to create pleasure with a Shadowhunter to placate heaven. In other words: I need to learn how to feel. Now, logic tells me my sister can’t be used. Apparently, Heaven frowns on incest, and if I took Jace to bed with me, it would bring a little discord to our family bliss…"

"Heaven forbid," Alec said dryly and Sebastian smiled, showing his teeth.

"And the Daylighter? I thought of that. I would love to stuff something into his wicked mouth to silence him, but I doubt he has enough of the angel blood in his body that I need. Isabelle? Fair Isabelle, well, we didn’t part on very good terms in Idris."

"You killed our brother," Alec said, his voice cold but underneath it smoldered fire.

Sebastian nodded,

"Yes, I suppose that kind of incident would hamper passion slightly."

"You killed my brother," Alec said. "Why the hell shouldn't I kill you here? I don’t see any weapons or guards."

Sebastian looked at him as though he was adorable,

"Because…I have found my chosen Shadowhunter. You. And to convince you to be my source of pleasure, I made use of those guards you can’t see."

He said a few words, and Magnus’ huge apartment showed itself on the wall as though it was a screen. Magnus sat with Chairman Meow in his lab, reading what looked to be one of his many magic books. Alec’s heart ached to be near him, but around him the air sizzled and they suddenly saw the outline of four men dressed in blood red Shadowhunter uniforms.

"Magnus," he said, sounding like a gasp, but Sebastian, now behind him, chuckled,

"He can’t hear you. Won’t hear them coming either. Oh, one of them perhaps but the second or third will cut off his head."

Alec turned slowly, eyes widening with the understanding,

"What do you want from me?"

Sebastian smiled and put his hands on his shoulders. They were of equal height,

"Oh, not much. Just occasional nights of ecstasy until I’m changed…I tried men before and of course girls." He chuckled and studied Alec’s mouth, "But who knew a fellow Shadowhunter would be my cure?"

Alec’s eyes flashed, and Sebastian’s hands tightened painfully on his shoulders,

"When you are with me, I own you. Me in you, making you come, you on your knees, making me come. You on your hands and knees," he turned him around abruptly, "Or sweet flamboyant Magnus gets his throat cut. Do you really have an option?" His voice was mocking, and Alec stared at the image of Magnus reading, tears finally filling up in his eyes. Then he nodded.

"Say it," Sebastian’s mouth felt warm against his neck, and Alec closed his eyes,

"Yes. I’ll do it. As long as you don’t hurt Magnus."

He felt Sebastian press against him, felt how hard he was,

"Oh no," he whispered. "As long as you do what you’re told, I want Mr. Bane very much alive. Just don’t do anything silly like warning him, Alec." He snaked one arm around Alec’s waist, his hand seeking under his shirt, pressing against warm flat abs. Then it moved down under his belt, and he felt him murmur, "Now we can’t have that, Mr. Lightwood. Not pleased to meet me?" He grabbed hold and Alec gasped out. "Let’s see if we can wake you up. If you aren’t the tiniest it pleased by my touch, I simply won’t get my family back."

Alec shuddered under Sebastian’s experienced hand moving back and forth. Against his will, he felt himself harden, and Sebastian whispered,

"My, Mr. Lightwood, isn’t Magnus a lucky guy…"

When it was certain that Alec was aroused, Sebastian removed his hand and let his wet hand touch Alec’s cheek,

"Open your mouth, Pretty Boy. Time for pleasure 101." He pressed on his shoulders, forcing him to his knees, and Alec who still could see Magnus on the screen obeyed when Sebastian brought himself out. He was huge and held himself proudly, showing the kneeling man what he could expect,

"Normally, I like a little pain in my lovemaking, but that can’t happen with this. Apparently, you need to enjoy this too before it works." He rolled his eyes. "A little awkward, but I didn’t make the rules." He looked at his mouth, and Alec saw a flash of desire in his black eyes.

"But…why?" Alec said on his knees. "Couldn’t you just seduce some willing Shadowhunter, have an affair with her and then have your family back? Why force me?"

"To be frank, then the gnome man in Cairo said it had to be one I desired most…" he cupped his cheek. And disregarding my sister, then you are the one I want the most. Ever since living with you in Idris, I’ve been fantasizing about making you come again and again in my bed."

Alec swallowed nervously,

"At least remove the guards around Magnus."

"I will. When you do this little service for me." He pointed himself at his face and Alec reached out, grabbed hold of Sebastian’s cock and let it slide into his wet mouth. The surprised gasp from Sebastian turned into a pleasurable groan. His hand caressed Alec’s head while their eyes met.

"I want to…" Sebastian shuddered and slowly thrust into his mouth, and Alec felt the warm flesh pulsate against his pallet. "I want to be that person with my sisters," Sebastian gasped, fucking himself into Alec’s mouth. "The normal brother, normal son. I want that dream. I need it." With a curse he pulled out of Alec’s mouth and looked down, "This isn’t enough. I need you to come too."

Alec felt a queasy sensation.

"Take off your jeans. Then hands and knees. Do it for your precious warlock."

Alec complied with clenched teeth and finally was on his hands and knees naked.

"Just remember. The guards need to hear from me in intervals, so no sudden surprises. If they hear nothing, your Magnus dies." He went to his knees behind him and squirted something wet into the palm of his hand, "How is your sex life, by the way?"

"I’m not having this conversation," Alec mumbled, then gasped as a slick finger penetrated him.

"We don’t have to," Sebastian said. "You’re tight, but I suspect our Magnus had his wand in you before?"

"Stop saying his name," Alec snarled and Sebastian, adding another finger that made Alec cry out, laughed,

"No problem. After all, it’ll be my name you’ll moan out again and again…"

Alec would have said never, but just then Sebastian added a third finger and Alec cried, "Seb…oh my god."

Sebastian laughed into the skin on his back,

"Almost said it…" he moved his fingers and watched Alec thrash under him, "Oh you like that, do you? Good, good, I’ll take you quickly this time so you can return to your blissful union." He removed his fingers and then took him in one thrust. Alec yelled out again before he could stop himself.

"Oh God," he moaned and Sebastian chuckled,

"Perhaps one day. Right now, I would appreciate a single Sebastian coming out of your sweet mouth." He moved his hips forward and Alec gasped out, as thrust followed thrust.

"Oh god," he closed his eyes, felt so filthy and low as the pounding made him moan. It felt…it felt…no, he bit his lip, wouldn’t, couldn’t… Sebastian’s voice sounded rough against his skin,

"The more you fight it, the more times we’ll do it. You do this to save your warlock, I do this to cleans myself. I need to hear you. Come on Alec, make me feel!"

With a moan Alec caved in, spreading his legs, allowing the physical sensation to roll through his body. Sweat was streaming down his face, and his treacherous body responded to Sebastian’s expert touch, as he started panting.

"Sebastian," he murmured. "Sebastian!"

Sebastian answered with a series of slow thrust into him creating ripples of lust. Sebastian’s arm was locked around his chest, raising him, pressing their sweaty bodies against each other, his other hand locked around Alec’s hard cock. The sounds they made echoed in the hall of the Seelie Court, and Alec finally gave voice to what he couldn’t hide; his moans deepened as he came, coating Sebastian’s hand.

Seconds later he felt Sebastian come inside him explosively, filling him. He fell forward on the ground and felt Sebastian’s hard body lay on him, heavy and still.

Then he felt him start to tremble, shivering like in pain. He heard a sound like choking, felt his mouth against his skin, felt something wet and warm fall like drops on his shoulder. Alec turned under him and looked up into his face. His eyes were shut, tears streaming down his cheeks. Without wanting to Alec whispered, Sebastian and he opened his eyes.

They were the same startling green color as Jocelyn’s and filled with a tenderness that shocked Alec. Sebastian sat up and let his hand cup his cheek gently, and Alec noticed a softness in his eyes. Then the color changed with a flick from green to black. His soft lips hardened into a snarl and he said,

"Next time I’ll come to you in the institute. I will love to make you moan my name on holy ground."

Alec blinked and reached for his clothes,

"You promised to remove the guards." He didn’t look at the screen. Couldn’t somehow.

"They disappeared when you came," Sebastian said.

Alec looked up through hazy eyes. Magnus had fallen asleep with the cat in his lap. Sebastian was true to his word. The killers were gone.

"What if I say no?" he heard his voice say defiantly. "We can guard Magnus in Idris. The Clave would - "

"Oh, Alec, we did the battle of the wills already. I won. I always win." He looked at him. "I taped this, of course." Sebastian’s mouth widened into a cool smile, "Let me see, knowing your soulmate let me fuck him to save your life is one thing. Magnus might understand that. But seeing it? How you enjoyed it? How you couldn’t get enough, Oh, Sebastian!"

"Shut up!" Alec said but Sebastian just laughed,

"The next full moon. Be in the institute. In bed. Naked. I’ll fuck you all night." And then he was gone.

Alec collapsed to the ground, trying to vomit, but all that came up was sour liquid.


Now Alec heard his footsteps coming down the hall, softly. No guards, they didn’t need that anymore and against his will he felt his body react as it looked forward to the night of passion ahead. He closed his eyes, trying to will the thought of Magnus away. He was at home, in bed. Alec had texted him: Will be late. Caught up in work. One of the many lies he had told during that year. He would be going home as the sun rose, would have taken shower after shower by then, would slip in between the cool sheets and hug Magnus and try not to think.

The door opened and closed behind Sebastian. He was already removing his clothes and as he sat on the bed, smiling, Alec saw a flash of the green color in his black eyes fighting to break through.

When he took him in a hard thrust, hands holding his wrists against the mattress, they melted together in one powerful rhythm. It sometimes felt like a battle, more warfare than sex, and the green color grew brighter and brighter while the pendant around his neck glowed a clear blue, matching Alec’s eyes.

Sebastian started caressing him, then, turning from hard thrusting to gentle lovemaking, he spoke during their union; odd soft words of worship. It happened every time, now, and the green color kept its ownership of his eyes for hours later. That was what Alec waited for. The real Sebastian to emerge full time so this, his adultery, could end. He just hoped Magnus wouldn’t discover what he had had to do to make Clary’s brother feel. He also hoped Sebastian had been kidding when he gasped out the last time, green eyes glittering with tears,

"I love you."

Because…that would really complicate things.

Chapter Text

It was dark night, and only a witch light lit up the room. Alec lay on his stomach over the end of his bed. Sebastian was behind him, taking him. The slick sound of penetration mingled with the sound of moans and the squeaking of the bed springs. Both had their eyes closed, concentrating on getting off.

Alec didn’t think but only focused on the coolness of the pendant that Sebastian always wore around his neck. When he took him like this, it rested on his back and moved with them, getting warm from his body. He had demanded it had to be like this, from behind, no eye contact, no intimacy, and Sebastian had grudgingly agreed. Alec couldn’t fight his body, though; couldn’t pretend he wasn’t aroused. He felt his orgasm near and clutched the sheets, trying to quell his panting. Fingers closed around his neck and his head was tilted back. Warm breath blew against his skin when Sebastian whispered,

“Getting close,” and licked his neck before he laughed.

Afterwards Sebastian would lie shaking, and he could see the demon blood fight for its life in his veins, could see it retract and abandon control of his body; and then the other Sebastian would appear. Jonathan, Alec had named him in his thoughts just to stay sane. However much he hated this, being in the clutches of pure evil, he still knew that he would walk away untainted. Sebastian didn’t have the power to leave a permanent mark on him. Jonathan, on the other hand, was another question.

Each night Alec watched as the truth of what he had just done dawned on Jonathan and with it another truth; that everybody hated him.

Rightly so, he had thought the first time he looked into Jonathan’s terrified gaze.

“Do you hate me?” he had asked and Alec had received satisfaction by watching him flinch at the resounding,

“Yes! of course!” as he gesticulated towards the ruffled bed. Jonathan looked heartbroken,

“When I’m…it seems right. To do that to you, as though the end justifies the means.” He looked him in the eye. “I don’t pity you or question it at all. I know it’s wrong, of course I do, but my needs are just much more important than anyone else’s. My rights. My dreams,” he looked down at his hands. “I’m so sorry… “

“Whatever,” Alec said, not in the mood to chitchat with his rapist, but not at all sure what would happen if he threw Jonathan out of his room in that state. What would he do? Ask the Silent Brothers to kill him? Kill himself with the Soul Sword? Drink bleach?

“I have killed,” Jonathan said tonelessly, “and I never once felt remorse. Now, I…how can I ever live with myself? Live among my family knowing what I have done? Am I insane not to question this before now?”

“Insane would be my suggestion,” Alec sad, putting on his shirt.

“Clary will never see me as a brother.” His hands were shaking, and Alec narrowed his eyes, watching him. “Jace…despises me. My mother…” he gasped, “She was right. I am a monster, but…I was wounded when she said it. Isn’t that odd?”

Alec didn’t answer; just buttoned his pants with quick angry movements.

“Her words made me think: I’ll rip out your throat and not once did it occur to me that that indeed would be the actions of a monster… I… “

Alec looked up, caught his eyes, wondering about the sudden silence. Jonathan’s eyes widened when he remembered something,

“Oh my god, I killed your…” he jumped up, clutched his clothes in his arms and backed towards the door, looking sick.

“You killed Max,” Alec said calmly.

“No!” Jonathan said, shaking his head. “Why…the blood. I hit him too hard.”

“He was nine years old, and you killed him.” Alec’s voice was without mercy as he coldly told about Max. “He liked comics so much my mother feared he thought they were real. He always wanted to come with us when we went out to hunt demons. Somehow, I couldn’t wait for him to grow up and join us. Couldn’t wait for him to get his first runes, be taller, fall in love…” Alec’s face lost the dreamy smile he always had thinking about his brother. He noticed Jonathan looked down, but still he continued, “They burned him in Idris together with your other victims.”

Alec heard him sob quietly, saw him break down on his knees hiding his face in his arms. Still he felt nothing.


One night Sebastian waited until morning to leave, and still his eyes didn’t change. The next full moon Alec waited naked for him on the bed, but when he entered, he saw at once that he was still Jonathan.

“I’m cured,” he said quietly, smiling a nervous smile. He looked at Alec softly, realizing his nakedness and became horrified, “I won’t do… of course.” He took Alec’s pants and handed them to him, then realizing what he was doing, Jonathan blushed and said, “I’ll, er, wait outside. Give you some privacy.”

When he returned Alec was putting on his boots. He looked up at him,

“You stayed that way, all month? Your eyes?”

Jonathan nodded and Alec looked away before his smile could be seen,

Good, then I’m done being your fuck toy!” He looked up again, saw his face drained of color. Alec snarled, “If you want your family back, as you say, get used to hearing language like that.”

Jonathan nodded and then said,

“Can I, you know, sit down?”

Alec shook his head but said,

“Yes, of course…”

Jonathan sat down,

“The more human I become, the less I can stand the knowledge of what I did. I have decided to leave, to go to Idris and try to compensate for the suffering I caused.”

“If you go to Idris, they will kill you. Or throw you in jail.” Not that Alec minded. It just needed to be said.

“Perhaps…perhaps that’s for the best,” Jonathan whispered. “I should be punished. But before I go…” He removed the pendant around his neck, now glowing a dark blue, “this is very valuable.”

I don’t want it!” Alec said angrily. “Are you insane? Think you can buy me?”

He saw Jonathan’s eyes blink, and he swallowed before he said,

“No, I wouldn’t… I just…if you would sell it for me? Give the money to some of the people whose lives I ruined? I killed werewolves, Shadowhunter’s, some had families. I can’t bring their loved ones back, but I can ensure they have a future.”

Alec looked at the pendant and then nodded,

“Of course.”


Outside the full moon rose; a sight Alec had grown to hate. Now it marked his first night of freedom.

“Goodbye Alexander Lightwood,” Jonathan then said. “I know I brought you a lot of pain, but one day I hope…my good acts will outnumber my evil ones.”

Alec nodded stiffly,

“So do I.” Then he turned and walked away, home to Magnus.


He locked himself in and wandered through the dark apartment. Normally he would have showered, both at the Institute and at home, but now he didn’t need to. Magnus lay on red silk sheets; his naked chest glowing golden in the light of the moon. Alec stood one minute, admiring him, then removed his clothes and slipped in between the silk covers, enjoying the feel of it on his skin. He saw Magnus blink and then say,

“Alexander!” He stretched like a cat and looked towards the open window, “Is it morning already?”

“No,” Alec said, moving into his arms, “I just missed you.”

They kissed, deep, wonderful kisses, and Magnus said,

“So did I…every full moon.”

A hint of bad conscious reached Alec, but Magnus said, brushing his lips across his face, “But I guess Shadowhunters are always busy during a full moon. All those Children of the Moon running amok, howling - “

“Magnus, make love to me,” Alec said and Magnus smiled,

“Always Alexander.” He moved down under the silk sheets and Alec started laughing,

“Wait, what are you doing? Oh!” He gasped out as Magnus’ head dove in between his parted thighs, and his wet mouth found his hole, “Oh my god…”

“You know I love how you taste,” Magnus said and let his tongue lick him. Alec let out a gasp, ripping off the sheet, in time to see Magnus lower himself again, stabbing his tongue into him. Alec yelled out, struggling both to get free and get closer. This might be Magnus’ favorite thing, but he loved it too - not that he would admit it. It was too wicked, too downworlderly, too…a shudder went through his entire body as Magnus sucked his hole into his mouth, “Magnus!” he yelled, biting his fist. “I…I…”

Magnus said, muffled,

“I’ve been dreaming about devouring you all day…”

Alec laughed out, spreading his legs. Then he sighed, first running his fingers through Magnus’ silky hair, then entangled there, he used both hands to press the warlock’s head between his legs. His breathing became difficult as he panted out his pleasure. Only a fragment of his brain still worked with what had happened that night. He was free, free…and the tiny ripple of guilt was ignored. I did it for Magnus…


One year later

They were at a summer party at Luke’s farm. Magnus wore a black silk shirt and white linen pants, Alec a blue striped rugby shirt he bought visiting New Zealand with Magnus. Everyone was laughing, standing around with drinks in their hands, enjoying themselves, but suddenly Magnus raised a hand, and the noise died down. He brought out a square box from his pocket and Clary squealed. Magnus said,

“Clary, please, you’re attracting bats…” He went down on one knee in front of Alec, and Clary squealed even louder, clutching Isabelle who were just as wild, jumping up and down. Jace looked at Clary worried as she started to cry. Magnus looked up at Alec,

“Alexander Lightwood? Will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?” His eyes twinkled watching Alec’s flustered face. Isabelle started crying too, surprising herself, and clutched Simon who beamed with happiness. Maia wiped a tear away and punched Bat for teasing her. Alec then smiled, a little shy smile, and flushing red continued to spread all over his face. He held out his hand and said,

“Of course, what took you so long?”

The tense emotions resolved in laughter as Magnus jumped to his feet and put the ring on his finger before he kissed him, thoroughly, until Jace separated them,

“Yep, that’s enough.”


They managed to slip away by pretending to fetch more ice, but Magnus led Alec a different way through the house. His hand rested against the small of his back and pushed him upstairs, into a tiny room with a bed.

“Magnus?” Alec cocked an eyebrow, looking back at him, “What exactly are we doing here?”

“In Indonesia we have this tradition,” Magnus said and closed the door, “That a couple must consummate their union one hour after the proposal or bad luck will follow them.” He looked a little too innocent, and Alec narrowed his eyes,


Magnus hesitated,

“Well, no. But why risk it? Somewhere I’m sure that rule exists.” He opened the silk shirt and removed it, showing his muscles moving in his upper body to Alec’s admiration. “Let’s honor the tradition.”

“Eh, okay,” Alec said and pulled his shirt half way of too to Magnus delighted laughter. “Help me get it off,” he complained and Magnus removed it. He had already dropped his pants and stood naked, and Alec felt his body turn weak with desire.

“Want to remove my pants too?” he said to lighten the sudden serious mood, but Magnus just went to his knees, pulling down his pants and underwear in a fluent movement that reminded Alec a little too much about magic.

“Hey, hey, remember our rule?” he said lightly. “No magic in the bedroom. Except the one we make together.”

“Sorry,” Magnus said looking up at him, still on his knees. “I became a little too eager.” He grabbed Alec’s erect cock and kissed its head, making him buck against his hand,

“Magnus, what the f…oh,” His cock was swallowed whole by Magnus who sucked expertly, moving his head back and forth along the length. Alec staggered but then grabbed his hair, fondled his head, moaned, “Oh my god, its…” bucking helplessly against his mouth. Magnus grabbed his hip with one hand, the other disappeared behind Alec who suddenly yelled out as he felt his fingers play teasingly with his entrance,

“Magnus, god dam…you’re making me come too soon!”

Magnus moaned around his cock, and Alec swore he could see him smile. He sucked wickedly, much more powerful than one ought to be able to, and Alec gave up objecting. He just moved against his mouth repeatedly, caressing his smooth soft hair and finally whispered,

“Magnus pull out, I’m…” but Magnus held on to his hips, sucking and moving wetly up and down the shaft.  Alec came with a roar in his mouth and slumped forward, shooting in warm squirts, feeling Magnus swallow again and again.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” Alec stuttered, but Magnus rose and laughed,

“You know I love how you taste…” and Alec blushed and laughed, falling limbless backwards on the bed. Magnus sat down next to him, still very erect, his cock standing out. Alec turned on his side and reached out his hand. He held it, as always fascinated by its length and width. Magnus closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing as Alec’s fingertips stroked him,

“Alexander, perhaps we should wait until…”

“We’re getting married,” Alec said, soft stroking his fingertip across the exposed head.

“Alexander!” Magnus moaned, and Alec said,

“First time making love as an engaged couple.” He fingered the slit, and Magnus cursed out, bucking against his hand.

“How do you want me?” Alec said teasingly when Magnus’ eyes flashed up,

“Wait, you want to? Already?”

“I always want to with you. Seeing you now almost makes me hard again.” He blushed. Sex talk always made him feel self-conscious, but he knew how much Magnus loved it when he talked like that.

“Oh?” Magnus said and sat up on the bed. He stroked his lips lovingly, then patted his legs, “Come here, then, Alexander. Straddle me.”

Alec moved off the bed and then sat across Magnus’ lap, facing him, feeling wicked for enjoying the position. Magnus said,

“Now I’m going to break a rule. We need magic for this.” He said a word, and a dollop of glistering lube appeared in his palm. He coated his fingers and let his arms tighten around Alec’s waist.

“I love you when you’re so bad,” Magnus whispered into his ear; his fingers sliding down, leaving smeared fingerprints over Alec’s firm buttocks. “Love it when you describe to me what you want.” He kissed his ear and Alec said,

“I want your fingers in me, Magnus, then your cock. Want you to take me like this, straddling you, rocking back and forth.” He shuddered as the talk turned him on, and he felt himself getting hard again. “Magnus…”

He felt Magnus fingers part his buttocks, and he closed his eyes at the touch. Alec felt them stroke greasily in the cleft between them. He moved back against his hands, wanting more, but Magnus whispered softly,

“No, no, no, wait…sit still.”

Alec took a deep breath, tried to sit still, and heard Magnus whisper,

“There, oh yes. Arch your back a little, my darling.”

Alec did and Magnus’ finger found his tight pink crevice and teased it, massaging it, going around it in circles. Alec found it hard to sit still, then. His own cock stood straight up, eager to be touched, but Magnus, taking it maddening slow, had all his focus behind his back. Suddenly Alec cried out. A finger had slipped inside him. The burn was good, and he couldn’t resist moving back towards it.

“Oh no,” Magnus mock scolded him. “There are still more to come.” He moved the finger a little, coaxing out a yell from Alec and said, “Kiss me.”

Alec bent down and kissed him; a deep wet kiss and gasped into Magnus’ mouth as he added another finger. “Ooh…” he moaned, curving his back more, swaying back and forth, the movement bringing him immense pleasure. The burning felt like tiny flames licking up inside him, flickering lazily, and he knew the fire would grow, would burn and engulf him in time. “Magnus,” he murmured, thrusting his pelvis forward.

“Soon my love,” Magnus said against his lips, “Do you like what I do to you?”

“I love it, love riding you,” he swallowed, wanting nothing more than to tighten his legs and push back and forth, but he knew the game. Knew he had to wait.

“That’s right, you do,” Magnus said, watching him with glowing eyes. “Remember India? How you looked in the descending sum; all golden and pliant, straddling my lap, my cock. My beautiful angel.”

Alec gasped as a third finger entered him,

“My demon,” he moaned out, “My wicked, sinful - “

“Utterly smitten demon,” Magnus whispered and moved the three fingers, making Alec whine out a long note. He then laughed out in gasps,

“God, hope they can’t hear me outside…”

Magnus said,

“I wish they could. Wish they could see you now, looking so flushed and beautiful.” His eyes glowed as they took him in. “They would all succumb.” He pulled out his fingers and then inserted himself, entering Alec’s tight hole, watching him enraptured as he curved his back with a cry and moved down, taking Magnus’ cock in one movement.

“Come Alexander,” he gasped and grabbed his hips, “Move for me.”

Alec moved forward, placing both hands on Magnus’ shoulders. His dark hair was unorderly, eyes shining and his swollen lips wet; he never looked more wild or beautiful to Magnus. Alec moved his hips forward, moaning Magnus… then moved back, back and forth, riding him like a horse. Magnus shot his hips forward when Alec retracted, pulled back as he advanced; his cock lodging itself deeper and deeper in his snug channel. Alec’s eyes were closed now, and his head feel back, exposing his throat. His mouth was a little open, making an almost inaudible sound.

Magnus felt himself near and picked up speed. He plastered Alec against his chest by clutching him in his arms, enjoying his subtle gasps against his skin. Magnus met each of his thrust with his own and finally came, spending himself in Alec who shivered and collapsed over him seconds later, murmuring,

“Yes …”


They returned to the party ten minutes later, carrying the ice they had set out for. People still came up to congratulate them, patting their shoulders and hugging them, and only Alec’s guilty blush and the fact that they had exchanged shirts told Isabelle what they had been doing. She looked at them and said,

“Shameless sluts…” smiling hugely and Alec ignored her thoroughly while Magnus winked. Then a hush fell over the gathering, and Alec looked up to see Jonathan standing in the outskirts of the party between Jocelyn and Luke.

Everyone present was familiar with the story. Jonathan, as Jocelyn demanded he was called, went to apologize to his mother before going to Idris. Though the Clave put him in jail, she and Luke stayed there, pleading his case tirelessly, convincing the strict judges he was cured of any demonic influence.

“They used the soul sword on him,” one whispered behind Alec. “The silent brothers used all their tests, and he’s apparently cured,” another murmured. A third hissed, “How dare they! Like we forgot all he did!”

Alec looked at the others. Clary’s face was torn between longing and anger, Isabelle was pale, thinking about Max. And Jace, Jace his parabatai. Alec looked at him and instantly knew Jace had forgiven Sebastian. Jace, who knew all about being the outsider, being scorned as the son of Valentine. Alec looked over at Magnus who shrugged,

“It’s Luke’s and Jocelyn’s party. If they invited him, it would be rude to object.” He looked at Alec, “But that doesn’t mean we have to socialize.” His eyes were narrow and filled with mistrust.

“I hear he changed. Perhaps we should…” he stopped, seeing the hard look in Magnus’ eyes, but then continued, “forgive?”

Magnus then smiled; a warm but sad smile and took his hand, squeezing it before he let go,

“I forgot. Of all the shadowhunters you have the biggest heart, Alexander. Only you could fathom forgiving that snake. Look at Isabelle.”

They saw Izzy finger her whip. A vein throbbed angrily in her neck. Alec said,

“He was a baby when that monster infected him. Just an innocent child. He didn’t choose darkness as Valentine did.”

Magnus sighed,

“So you want to give him a chance? What about Max? He was a child, too.”

Alec grew pale,

“If…if Sebastian had done the same to Max that was done to him. Turned him into an evil experiment so he had become a demon instead of dying…and I had the chance to get him back and cured? I would take it, no questions asked.” He looked over at Clary wringing her hands and Jace looking at Jonathan with hope in his eyes. “I just want to give Clary and Jace the chance to get Jonathan back.” He looked down and then felt Magnus’ arms around him. His mouth pressed against his temple, and his warm lips formed words. My angel he felt him say.

“Magnus? Alec?” They broke apart to see Jocelyn standing in front of them; her green eyes huge and nervous. Alec got a pang looking at the color, remembering.

“I…I didn’t think he would come, so I didn’t mention it to anyone…and I was afraid people would stay away, if they knew.” She stopped talking and seemed about to cry. Luke slid in next to her, resting his hand soothingly on her back,

“What we’re trying to say is that we consider Jonathan our son now. We became close in Idris, but…” He paused. “We understand it will take time and effort, and some people will never be able to forgive him. He knows that himself, but…it’s a special occasion in more ways than one. That’s why we wanted him here.” He smiled, “Congratulations on your engagement, again. We’re so happy for you…but we have another announcement.” He looked at Jocelyn who nodded eagerly. “Something that concerns Jonathan, too, so please stay?”

Magnus looked at Alec and then nodded. Luke called out,

“Clary, come. Jace, Simon, you too.” Then he turned and said, “Jonathan? Come join your family.”

A hush went through the crowd as Jonathan stepped forward, and people spread to let him through. He walked with his head down, eyes averted, until he stood next to Clary who made an involuntary movement away from him. Jace stepped between them, nodding to Jonathan.

“It’s okay,” he said and took Clary’s hand.

“We have an announcement!” Luke’s voice rose, and everyone turned quiet. He looked at Jocelyn who smiled and nudged him. He nudged her back; both giddy with delight. Alec noticed Isabelle had moved as far away from the group as possible, and their eyes met. Hers were angry but wondrous. Finally, Luke said,

“We’re having a baby!

Everyone gasped and Clary clamped both hands over her mouth.

“A girl!” Jocelyn said, pressing a hand to her heart, looking at Clary afraid of her reaction. She didn’t have to worry. Clary let go of Jace’s hand and already crying ran to her mother, hugging her, hugging Luke, then stopped as she looked up at Jonathan. He smiled a little uncomfortable smile,

“Guess dreams come true. Valentina. What do you bet she’ll have red hair?”

She stared at him and then she made a sort of half laugh,

“I can’t believe it. You had that dream, too? Oh.” She looked at his eyes, “Jonathan?” she whispered.

“I actually still prefer Sebastian, but don’t tell Mom.”

She looked up at him and shook her head,

“Yeah…but I very much doubt she’ll be called Val, though. Considering. Mom!” She threw herself in Jocelyn arms who embraced them both; tears streaming down her face. Magnus said,

“Well, well, another Shadowhunter in our midst. Congrats,” and drank some champagne. Alec looked over at Jonathan who just then managed to escape the group hug. He looked like he gathered courage before he went over to them,

“I hear congratulations are in order? You’re getting married.” His uneasy smile disappeared when no one answered.

“Thank you,” Magnus then finally said coldly. “You are turning into a regular family man in no time. Who would have thought.”

Alec looked at Magnus oozing coldness, and Jonathan who flinched. To soften his words he said,

“Congratulations. I’m glad Valentine didn’t win. Good always triumphs over evil.”

Jonathan blinked and then smiled relieved,

“I’m glad you say so…most here would volunteer to kick me back to Idris.”

“Are there anyone left in Idris?” Magnus said. “Alive I mean. You been there a while.”

“Magnus!” Alec said and saw Magnus' eyes flare up in anger.

“Excuse me,” he said coldly to Sebastian and grabbed Alec’s arm, dragging him in between the trees.

“Magnus? What the hell are you doing? Let go of me!” Alec tried to get free and finally ripped his arm out of the strong grip. Magnus turned around when they were alone, and Alec stepped back in fear. The warlock’s eyes shot green and yellow sparks,

“Don’t you ever correct me like a child in front of that creature, Alexander!”

Alec said,

“Magnus? I - “

“He’s cured, maybe, but I won’t have my lover, my husband, lecture me in front of him!” He stared at him and Alec stared back, heart beating. Obviously, Magnus was expecting a reaction, but Alec felt a sudden stubbornness.

“Like you do now? Dragging me in here like a parent dragging an unruly child?”

They stood in front of each other; none of them willing to be the first to budge, then a sound came from the party, a song, their song. Give me a kiss to build a dream on

They looked at each other. Alec’s mouth curled into a smile, and Magnus looked the other way, shaking his head, trying to disguise a smile.

“This is nonsense,” Magnus finally said. “Jonathan Sebastian Seagull or whatever his name is now has nothing to do with us.”

Alec stepped closer and wrapped his arms around him; feeling Magnus’ reassuring body against his.

“We’re getting married,” Alec mumbled and felt the unfamiliar weight of the ring on his finger. He sighed happily when Magnus said,

“Yes,” in a dark velvety growl. He started moving to the music, and Alec moved with him, smiling as Magnus sang along quietly, sending ripples of warmth up his spine, …making the dreams come true


Jonathan was watching them behind a tree; his fingers caressing the bark on the tree he was leaning against. He watched Alec’s muscular back and his well-shaped behind. Then as Magnus moved them around, he saw his closed eyes and his lush pink mouth. When they kissed, he felt the hurt in a heart he only now was conscious he owned. He lay his hand over it, felt it pound away oddly and sighed. One thought suddenly shot through his mind. Mine.


Chapter Text

They stood on the balcony, looking out over a velvety dark night. The fight from the party still had not left them, and Alec wasn’t too keen on discussing Jonathan again. Luckily Magnus had other plans. He bent his head and kissed Alec’s neck in small teasing pecks, mumbling,

“How and when exactly did you get into my shirt?”

“Here,” Alec said, “take it.” He opened each button slowly, letting Magnus kiss each inch of the revealed skin. The touch of his warm lips was arousing and soon had his breathing elevated.

“Now,” Magnus whispered. “I have a scoreboard in a seedy part of my bran keeping track of our lovemaking tonight.”

“A scoreboard?” Alec answered innocently, pressing against him,

“We can call it a to do-list if you like,” Magnus said and slowly removed the silk shirt. “The very last item is you and me in a very romantic moment on the balcony.”

“Well,” Alec yanked out his own rugby shirt from Magnus’ trousers. “I’m game.” He pulled it over the warlock’s head, and Magnus appeared with his hair tussled and eyes shining. Then his smile faded,

“Unless…it’s too much for you? After the party?”

Alec knew he wasn’t just referring to their impromptu lovemaking but said,

“I always want to with you.”


Jonathan was trying to sleep in the huge rustic bed, but he couldn’t relax. Images he had promised himself never to conjure up now haunted him again and again. Alec naked. How it felt to be … he quickly thought of something else, repulsed by thinking of what he had done, but his body refused to forget. It was a warm night, and the very rural bedding seemed heavy and damp. He tossed and turned, but in the end he rose and got dressed before he tiptoed out the door and went for a walk.


He walked through darkness, hands in his pockets and his eyes still uncannily able to pick up the slightest light, until he came to the village where Luke and Jocelyn bought groceries. The ancient lampposts lit the streets with a golden light, and he noticed that a young guy was leaning against the cast iron gate to a small park, smoking a cigarette. When Jonathan was passing him, the stranger called out quietly,


Jonathan turned and studied him. A dark, young man, not as striking as Alec, but his eyes had a similar expression of repressed urges and self-loathing. As a demon the sense of an inferior being struggling with self-worth would have been enticing. Now he felt a surprising feeling he identified as tenderness. He smiled and the boy relaxed. A cigarette dangled from his pouty lips, and Jonathan felt a surge of heat to his groin as his imagination suddenly worked with the association.

“Why not,” he said. He received it from the guy’s slightly trembling hand and smiled again.

“Fuck?” the guy then said and blushed, but Jonathan shrugged,

“No cash.”

The guy smiled too, now, looking him up and down, and Jonathan gazed even more interested at his lips.

“I’m not a hooker. Just horny. Fucker or fuckee?”

“Uh, definitely fucker,” Jonathan said and saw the guy shudder a little.

“Where?” he then asked eagerly.

“Oh, there must be a dark corner with a bench somewhere I can bend you over.” Jonathan’s voice fell to a dark murmur, and the stranger let out an eager gasp and reached out his hand. Jonathan grabbed his hand and they disappeared into the park.


A noise woke Alec in the middle of the night. He raised his head from Magnus’ naked chest and looked at him, but the warlock was asleep. The noise was heard again, and Alec scanned the bedroom with sleepy eyes. At the end of the bed he saw a flickering vague outline of two people, like a hologram. Alec gasped out as the two figures became a little clearer, and he recognized Jonathan bending over some guy, busy …he swallowed and quickly looked at Magnus who luckily didn’t stir. A mirage, clearly.

Alec’s eyes turned back to study the soundless image. The guy being fucked by Jonathan was dark-haired and muscular, and Alec realized he looked like him. He moved uncomfortable in the bed, but the other man clearly wasn’t forced though his hand were tied behind his back. He was smiling, head back and now and then he spoke, seemingly requesting something. Alec’s eyes went up to Jonathan. His eyes were closed and his face concentrated as he took him, fucking him with short, hard thrusts that Alec knew was just before he orgasmed.

Alec tried to look away but was drawn to the sight. It then felt as if his ears popped, and he heard them; the boy’s gasping desire and Jonathan’s darker pants. The hair stood up on Alec’s head when he saw that the boy’s features changed. It was now him, Alec, being fucked, and he felt with horror how he, beyond reason, was getting hard again. Just porn, he said to himself. Just porn. Then he heard Jonathan’s stifled stutter, saw him looking panicky as he stared directly at Alec and moaned out disbelieving,


Then the vision was gone. Alec was left resting against Magnus with an erection rising between his thighs. Magnus stirred and smiled, then he looked down and mumbled,

“My, you are insatiable tonight…”

Alec breathed rapidly and felt acutely ashamed, but Magnus just whispered, “But who’s complaining? I was just in the mood for a little something…” He slid down, and Alec gasped, soon much too preoccupied to think.


Next time he woke the bed was empty, and a note lay on the pillow: Had to go. Stock up on some protein. You’ll need it later. He smiled and lay back in bed, dreamily stroking his lips. Then he remembered and stopped smiling as his heart beat faster. Just a mirage…this was all it was. Just porn. He lay back, trying to resist it, but then picked up his phone with shaking hands and without really wanting to typed: gay + porn + tied up.


Jonathan glanced over at Simon looking his nerdiest, reading a book. Their new friendship was cordial at best, but he needed some advice from a clear brain, and Simon was nothing but brainy. Besides, Luke had taken his mother to an arts and craft fair, and Clary had lured Jace into her room to “draw runes” as she called it, so Simon was the only one left.

“I…” he saw Simon look up and forced himself to finish the statement, “I was thinking about if it’s normal to have dreams…pleasurable dreams with someone who hates you in real life.”

“Not Clary I hope?” Simon said quickly and pushed his glasses up.

“No. Not Clary. Er, a man.”

“Not me?” Simon’s eyebrow shut up in a mocking gesture, but there was a shine to his eyes that made Jonathan say,

“Do you hate me?”

Simon shrugged pleasantly,

“You have your moments. And Jace does seem to like you. What’s the problem?”

“I’m afraid…I was cured doing something to him, something evil, and now I’m afraid I’m reversing the cure by…” His voice trailed. Simon put the book down and straightened up,

“Cured how, exactly?”

“I…I created pleasure. To counter all the pain my father made. But I did it the wrong way. By force. And now I’m afraid…” He stopped talking, but Simon nodded,

“To do evil again?”

“Yes. He forgave me. What I did. In the end. But now, in dreams, I’m with him and, and in real life when I…you know…”

“Experience pleasure?” Simon's eyes glittered humorously, and Jonathan blushed,

“Yes. I experience myself making love to him. In a flash. It’s…it just happens. Whether I want to or not.”

Simon leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest, nodding,

“I see…well, if you want a vamps diagnosis?”

Jonathan sighed,

“Why not?”

“Two parts. Part one, this man you can't stay away from? You feel bad for what you did so now every time you are aroused during sleep…you, you sort of conjure him up or something. As penance. So, it might be happening for real in real life.”

Jonathan slumped in his seat,

“But that’s worse. It happens to him too, then. I’m probably destroying his life, again.”

“Perhaps. But since he isn’t fighting you during it…he isn’t, is he?” Simon cocked his head expectantly, and Jonathan shook his head mutely.

“Then perhaps not. Part two. You are no longer part of the demon world, but they are still sniffing around you. Trust me. I know a little about demons too, living with vamps.” Simon held up the book he was reading. The title read: Demons, vampires and ghouls. “They are probably way pissed that you turned good and now take every chance they can to mess with your head? Choosing scenes where one of you have sex and then they, like, remove the barriers between your worlds. For kicks.” He pushed his glasses down his nose, looking over them. “They’re kinky that way.”

Jonathan shook his head,

“That just makes it worse.”

“Well yes. And now part three.”

Jonathan frowned,

“There’s a part three, too?”

“Oh yes,” Simon grinned. “You’re in love with this guy, aren’t you?”

Jonathan felt himself blush again, stronger this time. Damn this humanity. Brought some embarrassing physical happenings that couldn’t be controlled.

“He hates me, and he has a boyfriend.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Simon became eager. “It’s textbook psychology, and I should know. I took Psych 101. The cocktail of guilt, unrequited lust, and I’ll take a fairly safe bet you didn’t date much in the demon world? I mean who were there to date that didn’t want to skin you alive?” He grinned, watching Jonathan’s face and continued, “That makes you a magnet for all those perverted demons who infiltrate your dreams. My professional advice to you would be: Get out, get laid, every freaking day, until HE is out of your system!”


That night Alec and Magnus lay kissing in bed when Magnus sighed and softly said,

“What’s the matter?”

Alec looked up at him,

“What? Nothing…”

Magnus moved over on his side,

“You’re not excited…” he moved his hand down over his stomach, and Alec closed his eyes,

“That’s okay. Can’t we just do it? I’ll get there with you.”

Magnus leaned over and cupped his cheek,

“No, sweetie. Absolutely not…this isn’t a one man show.”

Alec opened his eyes and looked at him,


“I can’t be part of it unless you enjoy it, too…surely you know that?” Magnus took his hand and kissed his palm slowly. “And it’s okay not to want to. Let’s just relax.” He drew him into his arms, and Alec let out a sigh,

“You are a perfect boyfriend. You know that, don’t you?”

Magnus snuggled his nose in between Alec’s ear and chuckled,

“I know.”

Alec smiled and closed his eyes. He was in a safe, warm cocoon and slowly drifted off to sleep.


He was on his stomach, draped on a cold stone altar, and Jonathan was spanking him, enjoying the process, taking his time. Then he heard Jonathan say as he took him slowly, making him moan out,

“I forgot. You’re the quintessential prude except with me…” He then whispered, “So how’s your sex life with Magnus?”


He woke up with a gasp, extremely hard. Magnus was still sleeping, but Alec untangled himself from his embrace so he didn't have to explain his sudden arousal and then tiptoed into the living room. There he slumped on the couch and without really wanting to searched for gay + spanking on the laptop.


Jonathan woke up hard and embarrassed from a dream of taking Alec on some sort of stone altar. He went outside to cool off, willing himself not to think of his erection that pressed uncomfortable against his jeans. Inside the barn he unfortunately ran into Simon who yawned and then ogled his potent state with interest.

“Wow,” he examined him, “You weren’t kidding. Naughty dream again about Mister Wrong?”

Jonathan quickly covered himself with his hands,

“Please go back to bed, Simon.”

“Can’t,” Simon smirked. “Your sister and Jace are at it like rabbits, and the walls are thin. I had to go out for my sanity. Must be something in the water.” He looked down as Jonathan removed his hands and whistled softly. Jonathan closed his eyes and groaned, then opened them astonished when he felt Simon’s hand suddenly cup his erection.

“C’mon, let me help you?” Simon whispered and before Jonathan could stop him, he was on his knees, opening Jonathan’s jeans in the same movement. Simon took him in his mouth before he could object and started moving his head up and down. Jonathan forgot about why it was a bad idea to let a vampire’s fangs near your cock and buried his hand in Simon’s soft curls. Simon released him with a slurp and holding him in a firm grip he demanded,

“Tell me about your dream.”

Jonathan gasped but was completely at his mercy by then,

“There’s an altar in the woods, a guy…your age.”

Simon licked his length, and Jonathan closed his eyes, “I tie him up, I spank him…then I take him from behind, his legs spread wide.” He opened his eyes and meet Simon’s sparkling dark eyes behind the glasses,

“Sounds kind of fun.”

Jonathan breathed out and tried to grasp onto the little logic he could muster,

“You’re not gay.”

Simon stroked the hard cock a little with his thumb,

“Labels are for people with zero imagination. Let me just remove my glasses.”


Alec sprawled in the dark with his eyes closed. The computer showed a scene where a man was being spanked by a burglar, but he wasn’t watching now, he was just panting, achingly hard, thinking how on earth he could ever explain this to Magnus. Then he heard a moan and opened his eyes. He saw a vision of Jonathan in what looked like a stable, stark naked, taking someone over an old wooden table.

That someone, who thank goodness wasn’t Alec, had his wrists tied behind his back with a leather strap. The guy Jonathan was fucking made noises like a cat. His face was turned away from Alec, and Jonathan had a firm grip of his curls. Both were moaning, and the table creaked dangerously. Now and then Jonathan pulled back and spanked his lover’s butt, making him spread his legs wider and groan louder. Alec just sat there, legs apart, hand around his leaking cock. Then the stranger moved his head, and Alec recognized Simon’s face with a gasp. Simon?

“What are you doing?”

Alec looked up, and the vision of Jonathan taking Simon disappeared. He saw Magnus in front of him taking in his erection, then the film on the computer and saw something like clarity on his face.

“Magnus, I - “

“Why didn’t you tell me, Alexander?” Magnus said softly. He moved his fingers, and Alec stared at his wrists suddenly bound with a red silk scarf. He looked up at Magnus and shuddered when he saw the look in his eyes,

“Would you?” He swallowed and Magnus smiled,

“Always.” He took hold of the silk scarf and dragged Alec gently to his feet. Walking backwards, he didn’t take his admiring eyes off him, until they reached the dining room table. “I’m afraid the rule against magic is lifted tonight,” Magnus said in a low voice. He pointed at the table, and suddenly Alec found himself bent over it, the table cool against his naked chest and stomach, and his arms tied behind his back. A sensation of warmth went through his body that only intensified when Magnus spread his legs and pressed himself between them.

“Whatever made you hide this from me?” Magnus whispered. “Why did you lie?” He thrusted forward, and Alec cried out a little, then said,

“I never could. I…just imagined it?” He bent his head, shuddered again when Magnus let his other hand stroke the curve of his back. Then he suddenly let greased up fingers slide between Alec’s clenched buttocks, stroking and caressing, coaxing him to open his already puckering hole,

“From now on you must share everything you imagine with me, Alexander.” He let one long finger penetrate him, and Alec whimpered out again,

“Oh god, yes…yes, I will…” because this was just what this was, he managed to think with whatever little thought he had left. Dreams were nothing but ways to resolve stress, and he had been stressed. The nightmare forced sex, the fear for Magnus’ safety, the guilt, then the upcoming marriage, Jonathan’s acceptance in the community. It was all muddled up and then oddly enough came out as punishing sex dreams…he gasped as Magnus slid two fingers into him.

“I must admit I have thought about it,” Magnus said. “But you always seemed so…innocent, so pure. Didn’t want to scare you.”

“Magnus!” Alec cried out as three fingers entered him slowly.

“But then we must have strict rules,” Magnus continued sweetly: his soft voice never revealing how excited he was. “If you break them, you’ll be punished. Severely.” He hummed a little moving his fingers. “Let me see. Oh yes, you yell, and I spank you once.” He wriggled his fingers again, and Alec cried out.

“Naughty,” Magnus smiled, and his left hand landed heavily on Alec’s one curving buttock.

“Oh, my fucking god,” Alec groaned into the table. The feeling of sudden pain felt like a rush to his groin.

“You use profanity in my house, and you get spanked twice,” Magnus’ schoolteacher voice said. He spanked his firm buttocks hard, one each and Alec squealed out,

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, oh god, yes.” The feeling of desire was overwhelming. “Magnus fuck me, please! Now!”

Magnus pushed into him, and Alec gasped out when his slightly painful skin was slammed into by Magnus’ hard body.

“Oh my god,” he moaned, “oh yes!”

Magnus stilled inside him far too soon,

“The next rule is I talk and you listen.

Alec whimpered,

“But I need you to move. Please?”

“But Alexander, you just violated rule three.” He thrust slightly forward, and Alec closed his eyes, deliriously feeling Magnus’ cock go even further inside him. “What do you think is the punishment for speaking without permission?”

“Th-three spankings?” Alec stuttered, his skin creating goose bumbles thinking of it. Magnus leaned forward, pressing his muscles against him, and Alec moaned again.

“Four, Alexander.” He pulled out of him and said, “and each time I need you to count. Let’s start.” His palm slammed down on the quivering mounts without warning, and Alec yelled out,


Magnus rubbed his own hard cock with his left hand and chuckled,

“Uh, didn’t I say it? That is one, sir!

Alec froze, recalling Jonathan giving him the exact order a long time ago, but then Magnus spanked him again, and he forgot it all in the hazy desire of pain mingled with lust.

“One, sir?” he gasped.

“Good boy,” Magnus said, a little out of breath. “And?” He spanked him again and again, and Alec cried out,

“Two, sir, three, sir,” and finally “four sir!” the last time almost crying; his body shaking. Magnus leaned over him, caressing his back,

“Too much, Alexander?” He kissed his wet skin, and Alec laughed out,

“No…no…just catching my breath. It’s…hot.”

“Yes, it is,” Magnus mumbled, “especially from the angle I’m at.” His hands touched Alec’s buttocks and held them apart while he studied the puckering pink hole. Then without further warning he slid into him deeply and pulling slowly out. The dark living room was quiet, and only Alec’s moans and Magnus’ deeper guttural sounds broke the silence.  

“Yes, yes, yes!” Alec gasped out of breath, as Magnus took him. “Magnus, please!

Magnus’ hand slammed his buttock just then and Alec cried out. Then Magnus picked up speed, moving into him, impossibly fast, did he use magic? Alec was never sure, but he felt as though Magnus had several hands now. One holding his neck in a firm grip, others fondling his tender nipples, smacking him and stroking his painfully hard erection.

“Alexander!” Magnus roared thrusting forward, and Alec lost it, coming in a rush of warmth. His tied-up arms ached but the feeling of being utterly powerless while Magnus continued to take him felt amazing. He felt him again and again and then as he heard him roar a soundless word that sent couches tumbling over and books raining down from shelves, Magnus came inside him. They collapsed like that, skin against skin, and for a while Alec just lay shattered, crushed by Magnus, feeling the now sticky wet wood against his stomach. Then Magnus said another incomprehensible word, and Alec suddenly felt cool sheets against his body.

“We’re in bed?” he mumbled sleepily. Magnus moved out of him and kissed his sweaty neck, mumbling,

“More comfortable this way.”

Alec stretched or tried to and discovered his arms were still tied on his back,

“Er, Magnus?” He craned his neck to see his lover. “Forgot to untie me?” He heard him laugh and then Magnus said,

“Ups…must be my subconscious loving the sight of you like this.“ He reached down and freed him and then as Alec turned around, Magnus kissed his wrists, one by one, rubbing the slight marks, “Perhaps I should conjure up some fur lined handcuffs?” He drew him into his arms, and Alec snuggled closer, mumbling,

“What color?”

Magnus stroked his hair,

“All the understated colors…gold, shocking pink, lime green.”

Alec smiled and closed his eyes. Then he opened them again shocked. He saw a bedroom and a huge rustic bed, and in it was Jonathan naked between a pair of naked legs. Under him a dark-haired figure lay stretched out. Around his wrists were handcuffs lined with fur that were locked to the headboard, forcing his arms over his head. Jonathan was taking him, rapidly, coaxing out moans that grew louder and louder. Alec gasped and blinked, and Magnus closed his arms protectively around him,

“Penny for your thoughts?”

The strange bedroom was gone, and with it the very familiar sounds of his own voice moaning. Alec forced himself to lie back. Hiding his face against Magnus' chest he whispered,


Chapter Text

The room was dark and filled with sounds of invisible beings, growling and snarling, but waiting expectantly. A tall man dressed in black stood near a window where the light of the moon shone in on a small altar. On it was draped a silk scarf. On the scarf rested a lock of blond hair and a pendant with a bright blue stone. He let a finger seek out the items, first the blue stone, smiling as he touched it, mumbling a name, and the sound of the beings lowered to a satisfied hum. Then he took the lock of hair, picked it up and held it too his lips.

“My son,” he said and kissed it.


Jonathan was a child in his dream. He might not have been the best of boys, but he tried. He tried to make his father love him, tried to be perfect, but light is a hard color to create when all you know is darkness.

He was sent away. His father often threatened it would happen. Do as I want, or I’ll send you away. What he wanted was to see submission, legs opening, mouth closed, wrists pinned down. What he wanted was strangers to pin him down. Jonathan let it happen, let himself be entered and endured the weight of men on him, while his father watched from the shadows, because the alternative, to be sent away, was unthinkable.

And then it happened, anyway. His father chanted out the spell, and he was in Edom, a red barren land filled with other monsters eager to grab him, to own him. They went under his skin, filled his mouth, oozed their essence into him. He felt pain like never before as a plaything to demons, and somehow, over the years, he became crueler than them. He became Sebastian.

Sometimes he felt him there, in Edom, the man he had called father. The man he had loved as a son. When they took him, burned him, made him scream, he knew he was there, watching, enjoying his sick enactment with live dolls. That was what he was to him. A doll to be fucked, a pawn. A monster. The thought ignited a spark of anger that soon burned steadily. Soon his feelings were like fires roaring, beautiful and deadly, something to fear.

And they feared him. When he realized that, saw they crouched and worshiped him, he should have felt proud, but he never did. Instead he felt empty. Then…in all the horror of pain and darkness of the dream, he saw a light. A man was standing there, dark hair, marks on his arms and neck, eyes blue and shining. He held out his hand to him and said,

“Come to me, Jonathan.”

Jonathan woke suddenly, startled, as from a dream. His eyes were dazed, unfocused. He sighed and willed the dream away and went into his favorite fantasy, instead. A dream where Alec came to him, saying, "I have no idea why I wanted Magnus. You’re the only one. Please make love to me…" And then they kissed. They always kissed for hours in his fantasy, and he felt desire burn through him, cool and bright like the light made by angels.


Alex woke with a gasp, hearing what sounded like a low growl from countless voices. Magnus was sleeping next to him, breathing deeply, sprawled across half the bed, wrapped in a red silk bed-sheet. Normally Alex would have snuggled closer, seeking out his warmth, but he felt numb, confused, wondering who he was and the man next to him. He felt a dazed pull to stand up, to move away from the bed, and he followed it instinctively.

Naked, he sleepily went through the apartment and saw a bag lying on the ground. He looked through it and pulled out a little leather book. When he opened it, he saw a picture of a young dark-haired man. He was brooding, had full lips and a wounded look in his eyes. He read the words printed in black: Alexander Lightwood. Who?

He then trotted out of the apartment. With eyes seeing nothing, he tumbled down the hallway, down stairs after stairs and across the lobby until he opened the front door. The night wind caressed his naked body, but he didn't feel the cold. A car was waiting outside the building, and he got in, trancelike, without looking at the driver. The car started with a soft moan and drove through the city. Alex leaned back against the black leather seat, relaxing with a sigh. They drove on, out into the country to where houses replaced buildings and then through long rural stretches with the odd farmhouse here and there.

“Can you hear me, Alexander?” a soft voice suddenly said. Alec, sitting with his eyes closed, smiled,

“Yes,” he said. “I hear you, Valentine.”


Magnus woke up slowly, feeling his way blindly across the bed, searching for his lover’s warm body between the silk covers. Then he opened his eyes. The bed was empty but still warm. He sniffed and thought he could smell ozone.

“Magic,” he mumbled sleepily. Dark magic. He sat up and pulled on jeans and his favorite red dragon kimono. Then he stood up and clasped his palms against each other, mumbling a few chosen words. A roar came out of nowhere, the roof disappeared, and he was hanging in the night air, looking down over a sleeping Brooklyn. He caught the faint scent of Alex still hovering in the street, and his cat eyes glowed. Fluorescent green yellow tracks from a car started outside their building and lit up the streets. Ozone fairly drifted from them. Magnus felt as though he had fever and shivered slightly. He didn’t like the color of those tracks.


Valentine’s voice directed Alec to get out of the car and walk towards a huge mansion. The wind was blowing, and the first autumn cold was in the air, nipping at his skin, but Alex’s body was boiling hot. He wasn’t alone. Valentine was with him, talking in his ear, making sure another voice calling his name, couldn’t be heard.


Jonathan woke in bed, feeling achingly needy.

“Alec,” he moaned. Pity Simon had gone to the city visit his sister. He ran a hand over his chest, his nipples were hard, god, he needed…a part of his brain warned him. This isn’t natural to be so suddenly aroused, but the logic thought was soon flushed away by waves of desire rolling through his body, making him moan out loud.

“Sebastian.” It was his father’s voice but by then, Jonathan was too weak to fight him.

“Yes father?” he moaned embarrassed, removing his hand.

“Stop what you’re doing and pay attention. I brought you something. A gift. It’s arriving soon. Get up.”

The order made him groan out reluctantly, but he rose, leaving his bed room to walk naked through the farmhouse belonging to Luke. He then suddenly realized that he had walked too far. The farmhouse simply wasn’t this big. He stopped, trying to shake the burning feeling of desire that kept flickering though his body,

“Wait…where am I?” He looked around a huge kitchen more fitting a castle than a small farm.

“In my house, of course,” his father purred in his ear. “You are never far from me. Go on.”

“No,” Jonathan said. “Why are you doing this? I don’t…”

Unseen beings stroke his shoulders and back repeatedly with invisible feather-like fingers, touching his warm skin teasingly.

“Stop it…” he moaned and tried to escape the touch. He remembered this far too well from his childhood. How his father’s minions would torment him in front of a chuckling Valentine.

“Don’t you like my slaves anymore, Sebastian?” Valentine mused. “Pity. They like you. A lot.”

Warm breath blew against his nipples as though from a dozen mouths, and Jonathan moaned,

“I said no!

“Fine.” Valentine said a few harsh words in a guttural language, and Jonathan heard a disappointed hissing. “Then my gift to you will be in even greater demand.”

“What gift?” Jonathan said suspiciously, straining his muscles. Both of his hands grabbed hold of the kitchen counter, trying to keep whatever was driving him forward from moving him any longer. “Father, what have you done?”

Valentine just laughed, and the invisible hands grabbed his arms, forcing them behind his back and lead him on. His father’s voice then sounded somewhere above his head,

“Escort him to the cellars. We have company to entertain.”


A switch was switched on, and the cold, white light illuminated a huge room. If this was a cellar, it was an extremely modern one. Jonathan looked around. In the middle of the room stood an enormous chair that looked like it was carved in black stone. In it Alec sat, naked, his eyes dazed. Behind the chair his father hovered, smiling. Jonathan shivered. He knew that smile.

“Surprise,” Valentine said mockingly. “Now, don’t you say I never give you anything .” He combed his fingers through Alec’s thick, dark hair before he let his palm cup his cheek, and Alec leaned into his touch. Jonathan felt a hand on the back of his neck, forcing him forward, and he stuttered,

“What, no! How did you - “

“Alec,” Valentine interrupted him. “Here’s my son Sebastian. I want you to let him fuck you.”

Alec spread his legs, and Jonathan jerked forward against his will. He felt his eyes darken, forcing the green color to flee, felt them glow and smolder.

“No, I’m not reversing it. Let go!” He tried to clear his dazed head from images of naked, moving bodies intertwining while swatting off invisible fingers. “What have you done to him?”

Valentine chuckled and then he said, lazily touching Alec’s swollen lips,

“Done? Nothing. I merely have the essence of our chaste young Shadowhunter in a certain pendant you were kind enough to procure for me. With it I rule him. I can get him to do anything I want. Go on, Alex. On your knees and worship my son with your luscious mouth.”

Alec went to his knees and reached for him. His eyes were unseeing, but his grip eager. Jonathan stumbled backwards, hearing the excited hissing from his father’s monsters once more. They uttered soft suggestions, encouraging him to turn Alec around in the stone seat, to take him,

“No!” Jonathan yelled. “Shut up, all of you! Alec, wake up!” He grabbed around his head, tried to get him to stand. Alec blinked and looked up at him confused,

“Jonathan? Wh - ”

“Sebastian,” Valentine said prickly, as though his son had just broken an expensive toy. “I advise you to play nice.”

“Shut up!” he snarled. “Alec, get up, We have to get away from here.” He pulled him with him, forcefully, and Alec followed as if he had no will.


They ran through the palace, down long corridors and across empty halls, until they suddenly were back in the farmhouse’s living room. Jonathan plunged down on the couch, out of breath, fighting a sudden nausea,

“He just gave up. That’s not like him.” He looked around the small room. The smell of ozone was strong. Alec turned to face him. His face was illuminated by the faint white light of the moon looking through the window,

“Who is he?

Jonathan hesitated,

“My father. Valentine. He…he was right there, touching you, giving you orders. Didn’t you see him?” He noticed Alec looked unsure and went on, “I think he must have drugged you.” He thought: The pendant…but Alec sold it. Would his father really…yes, of course he would.

“Oh…then thank you for rescuing me,” Alec said awkwardly and only then seemed to realize he was naked. He took a cushion from the couch and held it in front of his lap while he blushed. Jonathan looked down,

“I’m sorry. First me, now my father.”

Alec sat down next to him. He reached out, touched his shoulder,

“It’s okay. Nothing happened. And I thought my dad was bad. Poor you.”

Jonathan made a noise, sounding like a sob,

“I keep thinking…he’ll change, that he’ll love me as his son, but he won’t. I know that.”

Alec looked at him,

“My dad is a great guy, but when he discovered I was gay…not that much. Why are fathers such enormous dicks?”

Jonathan really laughed by now, and the sound of him laughing swept the shadows away from his mind,

“I wish I had known you growing up, I might have been sane.” He froze when he felt Alec touch him, felt his hand on his neck. Valentine used to grab him there forcefully, before Edom, pulling him over “to make Daddy’s friends happy.”

“What did he do to you?” Alec said softly, and the tone of his vice revealed he already had guessed some. Jonathan looked down,

“Things a father shouldn’t do to his son.” He swallowed and felt a most unwelcome feeling of self pity. He tried to be strong. His father hated self pity. “It was my fault really. I was weak. He said I acted like a girl, not a boy…” He breathed out noisily, “said his friends would make me stronger. He made me fight them, but in the end I was too weak. I couldn’t stop them doing things…”

Alec’s fingers caressed the skin on his neck,

“But… how old were you?”


“Nine? Nine-year olds can't fight grown men. Doesn’t make them weak!”

Jonathan looked at him surprised,

“It doesn't?”

“No! That’s…you were just a child! No one sane would expect you to overpower an adult. He meant for you to fail.” He saw Jonathan’s eyes fill up with tears and saw him blink them away. Alec placed a hand on his cheek, “It’s okay to cry, too. No matter what he told you.”

Something in Jonathan’s eyes made Alec pull him in, made him clutch him closer, and he felt him shake and cry for a childhood he had never known, and the father he should have had.


Magnus was fighting against elements that usually never bothered him when he was teleporting. It seemed to be a wall of damp, mist air that pushed him back, refusing him entry, and he had to use all his strength just to get a little further. Then he heard someone whisper,

"Now," and the wall of oppression disappeared. His powers made him catapult through the air, and when he finally managed to halt his movements, he landed catlike on a dark, cold road that definitely wasn’t anywhere near Brooklyn. Magnus pulled his hair back into place, dusted off his red kimono and closed his eyes. Yes, Alec was now close enough to feel. He looked around and saw a broad road lead up towards a huge building surrounded by stately trees. The sickly greenish track lead there so he began walking.


It was a huge castle like mansion with an open door, and no one around to raise the alarm. He walked up the stone steps lined by grotesquely shaped gargoyles and saw how the halls inside were strangely illuminated by a cold white light. Inside the last hall, he saw another open door where moon light shun out.

“Look closer,” a voice whispered in his ear. “A sight to behold. And hear.”

He knew that voice, surely, but Magnus was momentarily distracted when he looked inside and saw figures embracing. In the sparse light he could see that they were human figures. One of them with dark hair had his arms around a blond man,

“You’re not a monster. He is.” The words were loving and soft, and the sound of Alec's voice made his stomach clench. His heart started beating faster, but no, surely, it couldn’t be…then he gasped. The voice he almost knew then whispered softly in his ear,



Alec realized Jonathan froze in his arms and turned to see Magnus stand in the door.

“Magnus?” he said surprised, feeling his heart leap to see him. Then he noticed the look on his face and realized he was holding Jonathan in a very tender embrace, both of them naked.

Magnus looked at them with cool eyes,

“Alexander, I’m sorry to spoil your fun, but it’s time to go.”

“Magnus I - “

Magnus interrupted him, still speaking ever so sweetly,

“Do let go of your little playmate. I conjured a portal to get us home.”

Alec looked at Jonathan and let his arms drop down. Jonathan said,

“Magnus, Al - “

Magnus, who had turned to walk away, turned back abruptly and said,

“If you want to remain alive, you should stop talking. You’re not the only demon here!” He glanced over at Alec. “What are you waiting for?”

“My clothes,” Alec said sheepishly.

“The portal is waiting,” Magnus said, pronouncing every syllable just so. “Now!”

Alec bent his head, feeling guilty, but when he passed Jonathan he stopped, “Are you okay?” He felt Magnus’ anger grow but ignored him. Jonathan nodded,

“I’m fine. We’ll talk later.”


Magnus stepped out of the portal and made Alec follow him. He then said,


Alec stared up at the Institute,

“But - “

“Chilly?” Magnus snapped his fingers, and a pile of clothes landed on the ground.Then he said, “Goodbye Alexander.”

Alec reached out for him,

“But Magnus… “

Magnus turned, looking over his shoulder, and the anger in his eyes burned so fierce that Alec’s hand fell down, and he swallowed nervously,

“I can’t remember how I got there.” He looked desperately at Magnus. “But I know we didn’t do anything!”

Magnus just looked at him, then he stepped away from the portal and stopped very close to him,

“If we go home,” he said in a low voice, “I have no way to control the rage in me. It’s only the vicinity of the Institute that prevents me from killing you right now.”

Alec looked at him and almost felt scared. Magnus then said, still dangerously calm, “Did you ever have sex with Jonathan?”

Alec hesitated, but Magnus could see the answer in his eyes, and his eyes narrowed.

“But I…I was forced.” He looked down. “Raped. It’s hard to talk about.”

“I’m sure he did,” Magnus said softly, “just as he was forcing you today.”

Alec looked up,

“I had to. He wanted to hurt…I had to do what he wanted. I can’t - “

“A very convincing story,” Magnus said. “But I just saw two people very much not being forced.”

“Magnus, please…”

Magnus just gave him a last disgusted look. Then he stepped back into the portal that vanished in a flash of light, leaving Alec naked in front of the Institute clutching an armful of clothes.

Chapter Text

Late at night Alec woke in his dark room. It was flickering at the end of his bed, and he thought: Oh no. Not again…but the image he saw was something else. He saw Jonathan huddled in his bed, his body shaking as he lay curled up in the fetal position. Alec sat up and realized he could hear him. He was crying.

“Jonathan?” he said, and his voice seem to echo. He saw Jonathan sit up, tears still streaming down his face. He drew in a long quivering breath,


“What happened. Why are you crying?”

Jonathan dried his eyes with his hands,

“I’m not crying.”

“Jonathan…” He saw him look up, his eyes huge and sad. “Can you make a portal to here?”

Jonathan sat as though he was lost in thought. Then he nodded, slowly.

“Then come. The Institute will let you in.” Alec saw him struggle to his feet. He was still naked. He closed his eyes standing in front of the flickering light and mumbled a few words. The light changed in color from white to an icy blue and then he stumbled through the portal and fell into Alec’s waiting arms,

“What happened?”

“My father’s creatures,” Jonathan whispered. “They won’t leave me alone, won’t let me sleep. They keep trying to… “ He paused and seemed to realize something, “But they’re gone now? And my father’s voice too…”

“They can’t reach you here,” Alec said, clutching him in his arms. “I’ll arrange it tomorrow. Let you stay here where you are safe.”

Jonathan let out his breath,

“Thank you.” He looked up at him. “I see why Magnus loves you so. You have a good heart.”

Alec made a pained face,

“Not enough, I’m afraid. He just threw me out.”

“He’s just jealous,” Jonathan said. “And he should be. Seeing us. It’s understandable when he loves you.”

Alec shrugged,

“He says he doesn't love me…”

“Then he lies,” Jonathan said. “How could anyone not?” He looked at him and then he blushed and shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He looked at the bed, “I’m so sleepy. May I? Tomorrow I will find a room of my own.”

When Alec nodded, Jonathan lay down on the bed and fell asleep instantly. Alec lay down next to him, watching him sleep peacefully.


A week later, Jace and Izzy were gathering Alec’s things in the apartment while Magnus stood with his arms crossed on the balcony. Izzy, especially, didn’t do this quietly.

“I’m just saying, if someone started acting a little less like a five-year-old, then someone wouldn’t be single all the time!”

Jace looked over his shoulder at the warlock’s brooding figure outside,

“We really don’t know what happened, Izz. We shouldn’t get involved.”

Isabelle turned and pointed a small obscene Indonesian love god at him,

“We should. We are involved. Well, I am. Why aren’t you, oh parabatai?” She threw the love god down on the couch.

“I love him too,” Jace protested, packing clothes clumsily into bags. Then he glanced at the erect love god, and color spread on his face. “Love as in the nonsexual way, that is.”

Isabelle stared at him, hands on hips. “I am involved,” Jace said, taking his eyes of the love god. “I’m here, aren’t I? Packing his underwear. How more involved do you want?”

Izzy semi-yelled,

“You are his parabatai! You guys feel each other’s feelings! Can’t you feel he’s hurt?”

“Yes, but what can I do? I can’t force him and Magnus together. I don’t even know what happened.”

She picked up a rugby jersey and looked at it, mumbling, “Didn't they both wear this? I hate couples...” Then she looked up, “Why not? Why not hold Magnus by the ankles over the railing until he takes Alec back?”

“Because I’m a warlock and can turn him into a French poodle?” Magnus said, standing in the door to the balcony. Jace looked up at him, coolly,

“Please make me a little more masculine than that. A chihuahua perhaps?”

Magnus answered just as coolly, looking at Izzy,

“But then I'd have two yapping annoying creatures here.”

Isabelle threw her hair back and glared at Magnus,

“What you think this is, a joke? How dare you treat my brother like that? He isn’t some whore you just use and throw away!”

“Isn’t he?” Magnus snarled.

“Why you - “ Izzy went for him, fists tightened, but Jace jumped between them.

“Stop!” a voice cut through the fight, and they turned surprised to see Alec in the room.

“Fine,” Magnus said. “Just in time to move your stuff. Your movers are really bad at their job.”

“I’m not moving,” Alec said, and Isabelle opened her mouth. Then she glanced at her brother’s determined face and grabbed Jace’s hand instead,

“Come on. Let’s stay out of this…” They almost ran out of the apartment, and the front door slammed. Magnus went over and poured himself a huge drink,

“This is my apartment, last time I checked. I get to decide who lives here.”

“I don’t care,” Alec said and tightened his hands into fists. “I did what was necessary. And…I would do it again.”

Magnus emptied the glass and looked at the painting above the fireplace. It depicted a male wood-nymph and a satyr having a far better time than him, gallivanting in the nude.

“And if I force you out?”

Alec put his shaking hands in his pockets,

“You can try. Like it or not, this is still my home. I’m not skulking out like a criminal. If I move out, I do it properly.”

Magnus’ breathing was hard, and his nostrils flared. Suddenly he raised the glass and threw it into the lit fireplace where it splintered, and the flames rose mile high, flaming in red and orange tongues.

“Fine,” he then said, once more eerily calm. “I don’t care enough to move you by force. Stay, go, who cares.”

“Thank you,” Alec said, and Magnus turned, suddenly furious,

“I didn’t do you a favor! You want to skulk around me like a horny dog? Fine! But you sleep in the guestroom!” He snapped his fingers and disappeared in a menacing cloud of red and black smoke. Alec sat down on the couch and looked at the bags filled with his clothes. Then he sighed.


Two chaste months later

Alec was stroking himself, lying on his bed, imagining Magnus there, touching him with his long beautiful fingers. He closed his eyes and went over the plan once more. It had been two months of sullen silence and abrupt smoke clouds from Magnus’ vanishing acts when he tried to talk. In the end, desperate and needy, Alec turned to the one thing they always agreed on. Sex. Magnus had made it clear he wasn’t interested in him anymore. Alec, right now, decided to test his resolve.

He opened his mouth as the stroking brought him pleasure and let his moans sound out. It took a while, but suddenly the door slammed open. Magnus stood in the door looking as haggard and unkempt as Alec felt, as though he hadn’t been sleeping properly for days.

“Get your clothes off,” he hissed. Alec quickly removed his briefs and t-shirt,

“Magnus I - “

“Quiet,” Magnus ordered flustered, looking like he regretted being there already. “Over on your stomach.”

He spread his legs willingly, moaning when he felt Magnus’ long fingers caress his hole.

“Do you want me?” Magnus said.

“Yes,” Alec gasped and moved back against his hand.

“Just checking,” Magnus said. “You have been very fickle lately. I’m sure I just interrupted a nice wank about Jonathan.”

“I was thinking off you, actually,” Alec said into the mattress, but Magnus laughed a forced laugh,

“Sure you were.” Alec heard when Magnus lathered up his fingers and then gasped when he was slowly penetrated by them. “This is just physical,” he heard Magnus’ cold voice say. “You get that? We aren’t together.”

“Yeah-yeah,” he said impatiently. “Get on with it.”

Magnus twined his long fingers into his thick soft hair and raised his head,

“Impudent pup.” Without further talk he entered him smoothly, still holding his hair in his hand. Alec cried out and arched his back, gasping,

“Yes, yes, yes,” at each thrust. It was so intense after months without him. Magnus tried to hold still, tried to keep it impersonal, but soon he lost it too. Raising Alec up by the hair, he snaked his strong arm around his waist. Still taking him in deep, slow thrusts, he kissed Alec’s ear, his neck, his throat, panting,


Alec moaned out,

“Magnus...need you!”

Magnus let go of his hair and turned his head up for an all-consuming kiss. Then he forced his head down, grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the bed and said, oddly choked,

“I’ll give you something to remember me by…” He took him, deeply, picking up speed. Alec cried out, convulsing, moving with him, his body pliant. He heard Magnus whisper something in his native tongue. Alec knew the words. It was part of a poem:

My beautiful, I need you.

He gasped in response,

“I need you too…” and the words made Magnus shudder. He moved hard into him, then, again and again, pressing down on his back with his chest. Alec spread his legs more and finally came, crying out his orgasm. Magnus cursed and immediately pulled out. Alec lay there, exhausted, and felt the bed move as Magnus moved off it. Then he heard the door slam angrily.

Alec sighed, a long quivering sigh but didn’t move. He just lay there, closing his eyes, thinking back. My beautiful, I need you. The next line was: Beloved, I adore you. He was conscious that part of Magnus' anger came from having revealed himself in those words. He still loved him.


Alec stood up and went naked through the apartment to what had once been their bedroom. Magnus sat on their bed. He too was naked, caressing his hard cock slowly while his eyes looked at the bed. As Alec came closer, he saw pictures there, taken during one of their clothing optional vacations. He must have made a sound because Magnus turned and said furiously,

“Get out!”

Alec stretched, utterly relaxed,

“Why don’t you make me?” Standing close to him, he reached out and stroke a hand through Magnus’ wild hair, “You’re the one with all the magic…”

Their eyes met. Magnus seemed shaken, unhinged, and his eyes couldn’t hide a raw need. Alec knelt in front of him and grabbed around his cock, taking it in his mouth. Magnus sat back, his legs parted, hypnotized by the sight of his cock moving in and out of Alec’s wet mouth. Soon he came, which started as a shiver in his thighs. Alec kept sucking, holding his gaze, and when Magnus exploded in his mouth, he swallowed, taking it all. He then got to his feet, standing over Magnus. Magnus looked up at him with an immense sadness in his eyes. The look made Alec say,

“It's true he forced me. Several times.”

“Don’t!” Magnus said. “Not now.”

“Then when? After another two months where you ignore me?” Alec felt bolder when Magnus didn’t answer. ”He threatened someone I loved. I had no option. He had the idea that a Shadowhunter would…could drive the demon out of him. And it worked.”

Magnus looked up again,

“Did it?” he said bitterly. “How lucky. Then the so-called rape had a purpose.”

Alec looked at him, clenching his fists,


Magnus didn’t answer.

“He changed when the demon blood was conquered,” Alec tried again.

“Did he?” Magnus mused. “Was that before or after this Jonathan “forced” you.”

Alec took a deep breath, “That was Sebastian - “

Sebastian,” Magnus mocked. “I’m sorry. I must get your lover’s name right.”

“He was never my lover!” Alec exploded and saw Magnus freeze up. “Sebastian was my rapist. Jonathan… when he emerged, he…he suddenly had a soul. It made it…different.”

“Why the hell are you telling me this, Alexander?” Magnus yelled and stood up. “To torture me? I heard enough about your affair!”

Alec clenched his fists,

“It wasn’t an affair, you…Do you think I would do that to you? Be unfaithful?”

“I saw what I saw!” Magnus roared. “You, in his arms! It didn’t look like rape to me!”

“I was comforting him!" he tried again, but Magnus bit back,

“Who the hell comforts their rapist!”

“You aren’t listening!” Alec yelled, standing very close to him. “You like this. Finally, you can push me away. So, you don’t have to watch me grow old!” He saw Magnus’ shocked face and knew he had hit upon the truth. “You know it was magic that made me walk out of the apartment in the middle of the night against my will!”

“Whose magic?” Magnus snarled.

“Valentine!” Alec yelled, and Magnus threw his hands up,

“Oh, is that the latest explanation? Jace Senior. Why didn't you mention this before, then?”

“Because it was magic. It took time for me to realize what had happened…” Alec saw Magnus’ closed off expression and felt his anger grow. “I shouldn’t have to explain myself! Not to you, of all people! You’re the great powerful warlock! You find traces of magic everywhere and track it back to the source. Why not now?”

They stared at each other like over a chasm separating them. Alec had said too much to back down,

“You wanted to believe I would do it! You wanted us to break up. That’s why you can’t forgive what…what I never should seek forgiveness for in the first place!”

Magnus jerked out his arm and almost slapped him but stopped himself. He breathed out, forcing himself to remain calm though a vein was throbbing dangerously in his throat. Then he said,

“Perhaps. Perhaps you’re right in everything. We should then end this now. With you moving out.” He turned to walk away when Alec grabbed his arm. Then something exploded between them. A smoldering force of Magnus’ accumulated anger and hurt ignited like a dark cloud and a searing blast of magic sent Alec flying through the room and crashing into the bookshelves. Magnus let out a scared yelp and ran to him. He knelt and cradled his head,

“Alec, are you hurt?”

Alec opened his eyes and blinked. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Magnus breathed out relieved,

“I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget I’m a demon.”

“Half demon,” Alec said softly and struggled to get up. “So, I’m only half dead.”

“No, stay still,” Magnus said. “You sure you’re okay?” He let his thumb brush Alec’s cheek. Alec looked into his eyes,

“No. I’m not okay. I need to tell you something, and it might make you even…crazier.”

Magnus sat down on the soft carpet, leaning Alec’s head against his shoulder.

“About Jonathan?” He said the name calmly, looking down at his hands. Alec rested his cheek against Magnus’ soft skin,

“He…I talked to him two months ago. Seems Valentine has a locket with some of my essence in it. With it he can - “

“Call you to him,” Magnus said to himself. “Yes of course.”

“And…make me do pretty much anything he wanted. If Jonathan hadn’t stopped him…”

Magnus’ pupils expanded, and he growled, looking down into his face,

“You should have told me this months ago! Anything could have happened.”

“I tried to,” Alec said and suddenly smiled, “but your magnificent temper took up quite a lot of room.” He looked up at him and saw Magnus smile against his will.

“I should have believed you,” Magnus then said. “It does sound like one of Valentine's plans. I'll kill him for doing that to you.” He looked into his eyes, “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” He kissed him softly, then said, “and for throwing you out.” He kissed him again, this time longer. Then he whispered, “and for not protecting you.”

Alec whispered against his lips,

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” He saw his eyes turn fluid and dark before their mouths met in an all-consuming kiss.


Far away in Edom, a figure materialized out of darkness into a version of Jonathan. It was the demon part of his soul, gathered and collected by Valentine. The true Sebastian. Unlike Jonathan, his eyes were dark like a starless night. He looked down at Valentine's kneeling figure,

“You've been a fool.

Valentine shivered but didn't speak.

“Squandering an opportunity like that on playing silly sex games.” He hissed a few twisted words and Valentine moaned and squirmed.

“But you were wise enough to restore me. The true me.” He took a deep breath. “A body without angel blood. So freeing. So I forgive you.”

Valentine fell forward, gasping out his relief. Then he looked up at his son, still on his knees,

“I have the recordings, you made taking Alec. I'm sure the warlock will love seeing his angel pant out your name during orgasm. And I brought you the medallion.” He held it forward and Sebastian took it reverently, holding it up. In the dirty-red rays from Edom's dying sun, the blue sparkled and shone like Alec's eyes.