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If You'd Let Us

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There was no denying that the wedding was great. But Robbie hadn’t expected anything less. Joe and Ox could have gotten married at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere and it still would’ve been incredible for how obviously they loved each other. But as it was, the wedding was perfect. No one had been surprised when they decided to have it in the woods behind the house, in the field that held so much significance for them. Neither of them were religious, exactly, so the ceremony had been more just them saying their vows to each other, surrounded by the pack, the family, just as the sun began to set and the full moon began to rise. Ox talked about tornadoes and nightmares and Thomas. Joe talked about pinecones and ‘I’m sorry’ and Maggie.

Everyone cried.

Robbie looks up at the orbs of light floating above his head. Something Gordo had enchanted. Robbie had been there when he did it, tattoos glowing, a small smile etched on his face. He had caught Robbie staring and the smile had widened, before Elizabeth had come out of the house and then it was gone. Robbie almost thought he’d imagined it, that secret smile just for him. The champagne that he’s drinking doesn’t help much with that. Robbie doesn’t even know where Carter found the werewolf-owned company that somehow found a way to make alcohol have an effect on them. At this point he doesn’t really care too much. He feels bubbly and buzzed and happy for his friends. Enough that it’s easy to ignore the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach as he watches Mark and Gordo dance together.

It’s mostly dark now, and the party was settling down, everyone preparing for the rest of the night. There had been no talking Joe and Ox out of having the wedding on the full moon, not that anyone was complaining. It seemed right, running with the joined pack on the night that they were celebrating Ox and Joe joining together. It hadn’t been an easy transition at first, mixing the two.  The first few months had been rough, jealousy and emotions running wild. Especially for Robbie. After so long of finally feeling like he had a place where he belonged, having Joe’s pack come home had been jarring. Mark, Chris, Tanner and Rico had Gordo. Elizabeth had Carter and Kelly. Ox had Joe. And Robbie was alone again.

In all honesty he had thought about leaving. Not that any of them had made him feel unwelcome. They knew what he was to Ox, and his pack still loved him, he knew. But sometimes Robbie’s thoughts got the best of him and even if he knew that in his head, it didn’t always feel like that in his heart.

In the end it had been Gordo that changed his mind. Robbie had had a tough day at work, snapping at customers and breaking almost everything he touched. He tried not to let his emotions show too much, he really did, but at that point it had been too hard to hide. His feelings were eating him up inside and he didn’t know what to do about it. Gordo had taken him to lunch, convinced him to stay.

Part of it had been for Mark. Gordo told him how much it would hit Mark if Robbie left. Mark had told him how close the two of them had gotten over the three years. And Gordo knew how it felt to be left by someone you cared about. Of course not in so many words - Gordo was gruff and to the point, but Robbie understood all the same. And he was glad he stayed. They were his pack after all, and things got better, the line between the two groups blurring until it was really barely there at all. Robbie had a feeling that the wedding would erase it for good.

Robbie watched as Elizabeth changed the record on the record player that they had brought out to the yard for the occasion. She smiled at him before going and grabbing Kelly from where he was talking to Mark, dragging her son onto the grassy area next to the table that they were using as a makeshift dance floor. Robbie stared at Mark where he was standing, swaying slightly, now alone. Robbie could almost imagine himself going over and asking him to dance, imagine being wrapped up in the taller man’s arms. And then Gordo barked out a laugh from Robbie’s other side and he felt a rush of shame shoot through his gut. What was he doing, thinking about Mark like that? What the fuck was wro-

“Do you want to dance?” Robbie looked up into Mark’s blue eyes. He could’ve sworn he saw something like doubt pass through them the longer Robbie sat there, mouth gaping, not saying anything.

“Um, yes. Yeah. Sorry - I think this is getting to me faster than I expected.” Robbie held up his near empty glass of champagne before taking Mark’s outstretched hand. He felt like he was floating. This was a dream. It had to be right? Robbie’s breath caught as Mark pulled him closer, his hand snaking around Robbie’s waist. Mark took the lead, swaying them in time to the music. They talked, Robbie was sure of it.  But if you asked him afterwards what they talked about, Robbie would not be able to tell you. He remembers Mark laughing, and the way the light floating above them caught in his eyes. They danced for two songs before Robbie felt a tap on his shoulder.

Gordo was there, smirking at them. Again Robbie felt guilt eating away inside him. “I think this is the last dance before we head out. Do you mind if I steal him for it?” Robbie began to step back, assuming that Gordo was talking about Mark. But before he could get too far Gordo placed a hand on his arm, letting it slide up to his shoulder. Robbie froze and Gordo raised his eyebrows, questioning. Robbie knew he should say no, but the champagne made it just a little bit easier to ignore that little voice in his head, so he pulled away from Mark and into Gordo’s arms.

“You two looked good together.” Robbie watched an unmistakable blush tint Gordo’s neck. “I mean - you were dancing well, together.” He had never seen Gordo stumble over his words like this. He was usually so sure. Not that Robbie didn’t like it. It was different, and he liked seeing this side of him.

“He was doing most of the work, I’m not usually one for taking control.” And there was Gordo’s smirk and questioning eyes again. “ - with dancing!” Robbie added hastily. He felt the press of Gordo’s hand against the small of his back. Not pushing, just resting there. A solid weight that kept Robbie grounded as they spun slowly in the grass. Robbie noticed the raven on Gordo’s arm moving around, climbing up and up until it reached his neck before settling underneath the collar of his shirt, near his heart. Robbie can feel Gordo’s eyes on him now, heavy like the hand on his back.

“Mark and I were talking, actually, the other day, and -” Gordo is cut off by the sound of Ox and Joe howling, calling their pack to them. Robbie is still looking at him, his heart stopped in his chest. Thank god Gordo can’t hear it otherwise he would be in trouble. “We’ll talk later.” Gordo squeezes his hand and turns away before Robbie can even try to say anything. He stops to take off his clothes before joining the rest of them. He’s the only one of the wolves who hasn’t turned yet and even though he can see the scraps of Joe’s tux laying across the yard, Robbie likes this outfit and has no intention of making it a casualty to his wolf any time soon.  

The rest of the night is great, and even though it’s a full moon just like any other, there’s something special about it. Some magic that Robbie can feel thrumming between all of them. If he hadn’t already been buzzed from the champagne, this would have done it for him. He’d never felt so light coming out of his wolf before, so relaxed and perfect and home. He felt himself blushing while he put his clothes back on, thinking about everything that happened in the past few hours.

When he had joined everyone else in the woods Mark had come over to him immediately, resting his head on top of Robbie’s. Gordo had laughed and sent sparks shooting into the air. Him and Mark immediately started snapping at them, trying to catch them between their teeth. They had ended up rolled over on their backs, and Gordo had started rubbing Mark’s belly like a golden retriever. At that point Robbie had whined, long and high and ran off. He spent the rest of the night racing Carter and Kelly and wrestling with Ox.

It was only when they had been making their way back to the house that Mark and Gordo found him again. Gordo had just stood there, a soft look in his eye. Even as a wolf Robbie hadn’t been able to identify what the scent coming off him was. But it was deep and earthy and a little bit sour so Robbie had walked over to them and howled softly. Robbie could have sworn Mark smiled then, tongue lolling out of his mouth, and then he howled back.

A shiver ran down Robbie’s spine remembering how good it had felt to have their voices mixing together. To have Gordo’s hands on both of them, fingers holding tight in their fur. But he was human again now and the feeling turned bitter in his stomach. Once Robbie had his clothes back on he grabbed another bottle of champagne from the table, took a swig, and headed inside. He had to focus on the good parts of the night, it wasn’t worth dwelling on these feelings that he was too scared to think about in the first place.

The alcohol must have dulled his werewolf senses because he didn’t smell or hear Gordo and Mark in the kitchen before walking right in. The two were standing close together, close enough that their arms were touching, their own bottle of champagne half empty between them. Jealousy bubbled up inside him and he hated himself for it. Robbie didn’t bother saying anything to them, just kept walking through the kitchen towards his room.

“Robbie. Wait.” Mark isn’t his alpha and yet Robbie can’t help stopping in his tracks. He doesn’t turn around but feels Mark come up behind him. Not touching but close enough that Robbie can feel his warmth and smell the slight sharpness of alcohol on his breath. In a second Gordo is there too, and it’s all just too much.

“Please, just...I was going to go to sleep. I’m tired. Can we talk tomorrow?” Robbie hasn’t even finished talking before he’s being spun around, Gordo’s hand on his hip and Mark’s on his waist. He’s surrounded by their scent and their touch and he can’t stop himself from closing his eyes and just leaning into them.

He ignores how fast his heart is racing, ignores how fast he can tell theirs are. “Please.” Robbie’s not even sure he says it out loud for how low his voice is. But he must have, he must have because then there are lips on his lips, and teeth on his neck and hands in his hair and Robbie whines and grabs the fronts of their shirts, pulling them close to him with no intention of ever letting go. He feels hands framing the sides of his face and oh yeah. His eyes are still closed, he should probably open them but part of him worries that the second he does, all of this will go away like a dream.

Someone (Mark or Gordo, he still can’t tell) tugs on his ear with their teeth before whispering “It’s ok baby, we’ve got you.” Gordo then. Robbie opens his eyes and he’s met with a wall of pure blue and deep brown. They’re filling his vision and this is it, he knows he’s done for now. Gordo is still closest to him, if only slightly. Robbie leans forward and presses a kiss against his lips, then turns and does the same to Mark. This is so much softer than what they were doing just a second ago but it’s also so much more intimate and Robbie feels a shiver go down his spine.

This time it’s Mark’s turn to speak. “We want you baby. We want you so bad and if you don’t that’s ok but we couldn’t wait to tell you anymore an-”

“Take me upstairs.” Robbie is looking directly at Mark, trying to stay calm even though he’s sure his heart is about to burst out from his chest. His resolve is fading as the seconds pass by and this was a mistake this was definitely, definitely a mistake. But then Mark’s hands are under his thighs and Robbie feels himself get lifted off the ground.

He presses his lips to Mark’s neck and knows once they start moving that Mark is taking him to their bedroom. Robbie looks up at Gordo who is trailing behind them. His pupils are blown and Robbie can see the green relief surrounding him. Surrounding both of them. All of them.

Mark carries him through the door and Gordo slams it shut.

______________________________________________________________________________

Robbie wakes up to sunlight streaming in through the window, and a lot of things hit him at once. First, is his headache. He never thought he would actually appreciate not usually being able to get drunk; if only for the simple fact that he never had to deal with hangovers before this morning. Second is that he’s naked in a bed that isn’t his own, covered in cum that does not all belong to him, and on top of it, he’s alone. Fuck. Fuck . He feels like screaming, feels like crying, but he doesn’t know where Mark and Gordo are and it really wouldn’t be in his best interest to have them walk into their room to find him having a nervous breakdown in the state that he’s in.

Robbie climbs out of bed, and that does not help his headache but he’s not dwelling on that now. He tries to find anything to wear but his clothes are all torn up from the night before. The clock flashing on Gordo’s nightstand says it’s only 7 o’clock, and Robbie knows that no one will be up this early. He can make it to his room without anyone seeing him, and worst comes to worst he’ll just turn.

He doesn’t let himself think about last night on his way out of the room and down the hall. He would ignore all of it, if he could. If he didn’t hear Gordo and Mark’s whispered voices coming from the kitchen. Robbie pauses outside the door. He’s sure he could be fast enough to run past it without them seeing him, but the sound of Gordo whispering his name stops him in his tracks.

“You and I both know what happened with Robbie was more than just one night. You’re the one who -”

“I know what I said Gordo. But this, us…” Robbie hears Mark sigh and his heart breaks. He feels so helpless like this. “This is just getting better, after everything. I don’t want you to feel like you have to jump into anything just because of feelings that I have.”

“That’s not something I would do. Not with him. We’ve both felt it Mark.”

“God and last night - we weren’t even sober. He wasn’t sober.” Robbie sneaks a peek around the doorframe. Mark has his face in his hands as Gordo pulls him closer. Both still look rumpled from sleep, they’re in their pajamas and Robbie can smell them from here. Can see the blue pooling around them.

“We have to talk to him.” Robbie watches Mark hum in response against Gordo’s neck. He could leave right now, pretend that none of this happened. It would be so much easier. But seeing them standing there together makes his heart ache.

Robbie drops the scraps of his clothes on the floor outside the kitchen and lets himself turn. He sees the moment when they notice him, and everything gets so much more blue than it already was. Robbie doesn’t like that, wants it to be green, but part of him is still too scared to step further into the kitchen.

He whines low in his throat and sends thoughts of PACKLOVEPACKLOVE over and over, hoping that they understand. Neither of them move, so Robbie forces himself to walk towards them.  He looks up at them, before pressing his nose into each other their palms. Gordo first and then Mark. Robbie doesn’t know how to say how badly he wants this. How to say that he would never push them but fuck if they wanted him they could have him. He spins around twice, making himself comfortable before curling up at their feet, making sure that he’s touching both of them.

Robbie lets himself doze off while they talk. When he wakes up to hands in his fur, he doesn’t know how long it’s been. He opens his eyes and Mark is in front of him, cupping his face right under his ear. Robbie’s tail starts to wag automatically. “Will you turn back?”

Robbie whines again, tucking his head into Mark’s lap. Gordo starts running his fingers through the fur on Robbie’s back and he shivers, pressing up against Gordo’s hand. “Robbie, please baby. We need to talk.” Robbie just rolls over onto his back, showing them his stomach, tail still wagging. They both smirk down at him but he can tell they’re waiting. He rolls his eyes and flips back over before turning back. Gordo is always taking off his flannel and he hands it to Robbie once he’s back to normal.

“Thanks,” Robbie takes it without looking at Gordo and slips it on quietly. It’s too big on him, nearly hitting the middle of his thighs, but somehow it smells like all three of them and that helps sooth the uneasy feeling in the pit of Robbie’s stomach. This was so much easier as a wolf and they haven’t even started talking yet. “Look...I don’t want to...I don’t know.” They don’t rush him, just wait patiently while he bites his lip, choosing his words carefully. “I don’t want to be the thing that comes between you. I want you to be happy and after everything that you’ve been through I don’t want to put a wrench in that.” He can tell he’s rambling but at this point he doesn’t care, just lets the words spill out in a rush. “But if you asked me, I don’t think I would want to say no. You both mean so much to me, and after last night...I just don’t think I could say no.”

Gordo and Mark turn to each other and Robbie can’t read the look in their eyes. They stay like that for a while and panic starts to build up in him. After what seems like hours they look back at Robbie, smiling. They both put their hands on him and his heart knows what this means, is already jumping in his chest but he needs to hear it, needs them to say the words. He pulls back, just slightly, and waits.

Mark whines involuntarily, clearly upset that he isn’t being allowed to rub his scent all over Robbie anymore. “Robbie we don’t know what we’re doing. We have no idea why things feel so right with you here but they do, they have since the beginning baby.”

Gordo still has his hand wrapped loosely around Robbie’s and he grips it tighter as he talks. “We want to try this. Us. If you’d let us. At the very least we want to give it a shot.” That’s all Robbie has to hear before he launches himself across the very minimal space between them. He can’t get enough of them, is touching them everywhere his hands can reach. Their lips are all over his skin, but it’s not feverish and desperate like last night. It’s soft, needy, as if they didn’t already all smell like each other. Robbie feels himself getting lifted up again and pushed towards the counter.

“You wouldn’t be about to put a naked Robbie Fontaine onto my island, would you Mark?” Mark nearly drops Robbie when they hear Elizabeth, only putting his hands back under Robbie’s thighs once he clings to the older man. Robbie looks to Gordo, hoping he’s going to say something but all he’s doing is turning a shade of red only rivaled by Joe’s eyes.

“NO! I mean, no, Liz, we were just on our way out, hope you slept well, would you excuse us for a second?” It’s all Robbie can do to hold on once Mark rushes them out of the kitchen, Gordo following behind them. Definitely not the same as last night.

Once the door is closed behind them Robbie jumps out of Marks arms and falls face first onto the bed. In a second he feels the weight of Gordo and Mark on either side of him, most likely assuming the same positions.

“I can’t believe she saw that. She’s like my mom .” Robbie groans into the pillow and feels the two men on either side of him shaking with laughter.

Robbie feels Gordo put a hand in his curls again and warm breath against his ear. “It’s not like they wouldn’t have been able to smell it on us anyway.” Mark nips at his shoulder from the other side, smirking against his skin. This is going to be more trouble than it’s worth, Robbie’s sure of it. But for the first time in months he doesn’t feel a weight on his chest, so maybe it’ll be ok.