"NO!" Sherlock's voice rings out in Baker Street. John looks at Sherlock in shock. He had not expected that response to his wish to move back to Baker Street.
"Why not!" He had expected Sherlock to be gladly accepting his wish to return home.
After Sherlock had woken up from his coma three weeks ago they had been together almost all daytime. John has just returned home to sleep and return early in the morning to Baker Street to be with Sherlock. He was scared to leave Sherlock alone for longer time after his overdose.
Sherlock had been in coma for little over eight months. John can still remember how cold he felt when Sherlock didn't wake after he given him Naloxon in the car on their way from the plane. It's was good that they were in a goverment car so Mycroft could get the streetlights to turn green in every crossing. Thank god, that Sherlock had woken up without any brain damage.
Sherlock is looking at him with a sorrowful expression in his face. "I don't think it's good for neither you or me to live together just know"
"You are working through your loss of Mary and the baby" John flinch when he hears what Sherlock is saying. "I´m on the other hand has so many feelings and thoughts to handle about what happened when I was in coma." He take a gasping breath and say "So much I thought happened only happened in my mind. Other things happened in real life and blended into my coma dream."
John startled and looks like he will start to cry. He thinks how he after the killing of his daughter and wife threatened Sherlock in his hospital bed. He was so angry and frustrated over what had happened and that Sherlock hadn't been there to protect his daughter. He had accused Sherlock over that and said he would not return before he had woke up. John left and had not seen Sherlock for nearly three months. Much of the time he had been drunk out of his mind.
Greg had tried to intervene and make him sober. He had only stopped drinking when Mycroft called and said that Sherlock had woken up. Then he hade stood up and pored all alcohol he had home in the sink. After that he took a shower,shaved and change clothes. He was nearly sober when he arrived at hospital to visit Sherlock.
Sherlock had at first not looked at John. He had nearly treated him like he was invisible. First when Greg arrived and talked with John had Sherlock started to look at them and answered their questions. It were hard the first day for both of them to speak with one another. They didn't speak about Sherlock's overdose or Mary's and Little Watson's deaths. They walked on eggshells with each other. First when all test and blood samples come back okey did they talk briefly about what happened to Mary. Sherlock didn't say a word about that John hadn't visit him in nearly three months. John didn't say anything about that either. He had talked himself into thinking that Sherlock didn't know that and it wasn't important now. Sherlock was back in the land of the living and John was only to happy with that.
The only thing that he had to talk about was that Sherlock was never allowed to take anymore drugs in his life!
Sherlock responded on that with "yes, I know. Sorry, about the trouble I made for you. But I didn't think you would find out. I was already a dying man, Six month later or now was not my problem"
John stood still and stared at the man in the hospital bed. " It were a suicide mission!? What were Mycroft thinking of sending you alone on that mission?!"
"He only thought about my mind and that I would go crazy in the prison and that he bought time to save me. He did what I would have done if the same position."
John wanted to smash something and scream! After that they hade never talked about any of it before now. John hade been so sure that Sherlock would welcome him home. What would he do now? Were they still best friends? What hade he heard when he was in coma? What had he registered in his mind of all the things that hade been said in the hospital room of Sherlock? What happened now? Would he lose him again because of how he reacted and what he said in that room? John felt nauseous and so afraid.
"I think you should leave now." said Sherlock" "I'm must go to my mind place, all is in a jumble there."
"Do you want to talk later?" John asked nervously
"I call you. But you must give me some time." He smiles a little but his eyes are so sad.
"Okey, John says. Take care of yourself and call me or Greg if you need anything."
John had to wait for some time before Sherlock did contact him again.