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Everything is Blue

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       Rose was color-blind. It wasn’t totally unusual, but hers was a bit extreme. No one could see the color of their soul-mates eyes, well, at least not until they met their soulmate. Soulmates were two halves of the same heart, or so people said. Soulmates had relatively the same lifespan as well. If one was ill and the other one wasn’t, generally the ill half would live until the other half either got ill or died, even if it was considered a fatal disease. Soulmates went beyond science, even into the twenty-first century. No one understood how they worked. They had been occurring as long as anyone could remember.


       Rose was different though. She couldn’t see most colors. Oh, she could see white, no one had completely white eyes. And she could see pink. Her room was full of it just for that reason. And orange, although there was a significant amount less of that in her room because although she could see it, didn’t mean it went that well with pink. And black. But most others she couldn’t see; no red or yellow or green or blue or purple or brown. Which were staple colors, she thought. Most of the outside world was colorless to her. Just different shades of grey.


       Rose wondered what that meant. Would her soulmate be able to change his eyes? Would he have two completely different eyes? But that wouldn’t make up for the other colors she couldn’t see.


       Rose waited. It was all she could do really. The majority of people meet their soulmate before the age of thirty. She wouldn’t have to wait long.


       When she was nineteen it all changed.

       She was in Hendrick's shop basement, surrounded by shop dummies, when a hand grabbed hers and shouted, “Run!” And she ran. Behind this strange man who had appeared out of nowhere as a color she had never seen before started to blur its way into her vision. She didn’t know which one it was yet. She’d had them all explained to her, but nothing could compare to the actual sensation. Then, they’re outside and the great expanse of sky finally has a color other than grey and she knows what color it is. Blue.


       The sky is blue. It’s brilliant. She sees his eyes- his blue eyes- and they are the most beautiful things she’s ever seen. Then he’s giving her a plastic hand and running off again and her shop’s blown up, but none of that matters because she can see blue.


       After walking for a bit, she realizes she probably should’ve had more of a reaction, and thinks he should’ve too. Probably just too caught up in blowing up her job to say anything. Just like she was too caught up in blue.


       He’s back after a bit and she helps him save the world. He asks her to go with him and that’s when she realizes how much she wants to, but how much she can’t. Now that she’s seen blue, she wants to see everything. She wants to see red and yellow and green and purple and brown and how could she not? So she uses Mickey as her excuse even though when they started dating they knew it wouldn’t last long because both of them were missing colors.


       Rose thinks that she should probably want to stay with this man more and she realizes she does. He is her soulmate, she realizes, there is a pull. When he comes back, she agrees to go with him. The girl who can finally see blue, off with a blue-eyed man, in his blue box to save the world and have adventures through time and space.

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       They travel together. She learns that he is an alien and wonders if his people don’t have soulmates because he hasn’t mentioned finally seeing her eye color. She doesn’t mention it to him because she imagines it would be uncomfortable and awkward if his people didn’t do soulmates and here he is being her soulmate. There are still colors she can’t see, so she wonders if maybe there’s more out there. She falls in love with this daft, blue-eyed man with big ears though. It would’ve been hard not to fall in love with him even if he wasn’t her soulmate, but he was, which made it infinitely more difficult to resist the pull between them.


       Then everything changed.


       It was at a place called the Gamestation. The daft, blue-eyed alien sent her home to protect her. Like she wanted him to protect her. She just wanted to be with him, even if it was dangerous, she didn’t care. Rose loved him. She loved the Doctor with all her being. So she looked into the heart of the Tardis for him.


       Suddenly she could see a new color.


       It was light. It was spinning all around, through time and space. A name pops into her head, help provided by the Tardis. Yellow. Gold.


       The sky is blue. Time is yellow. It was beautiful. It was shining. It was everywhere. Rose wanted to laugh, but her head was killing her. She just wanted him safe, her Doctor.


       Something more happened that moment, with Bad Wolf and the soulmates thing, that Rose wouldn’t find out until later. Something that would change her life.


       The next thing Rose knew, she was walking up on the grated floor of the Tardis. Her hair was on her shoulder, but instead of its usual dull grey, it was yellow. The inspection of her hair could wait though, while she found out what happened. Her Doctor was standing at the console, talking about Barcelona and dogs with no noses. Why couldn’t he take her there himself? She was fantastic, he told her, and you know what, so was he.


       Then he burst into a column of light. It was terrible, Rose thought. Finally being able to see yellow, (how had that happened again? It was all a bit fuzzy) and the Doctor is being consumed by great big flames of it.


       Until he wasn’t. There was an entirely different man right where the Doctor had been standing and it shocked Rose enough that it took her a moment to realize she could see a different color. This man had dark eyes and dark hair that stood up so much it seemed gravity defying. Rose wondered what color it was. Whether it was red or green or purple or brown. It was nice, she thought until she remembered she shouldn’t be thinking these things. Whoever is standing in front of her just took the Doctor. She doesn’t really care that he’s one of her soulmates. She loves the Doctor.


       It takes her a bit, but she finally realizes that he is the Doctor. It takes her a bit longer than that to finally look in the mirror and realize she can see the color of her own eyes. A deep darkish-lightish color, like the Doctor’s now. It only takes a bit longer after that for the Tardis to leave a complex color wheel on the desk in Rose’s room and for Rose to put a name to the color. Brown.


       Her eyes are brown. His eyes are brown. His hair is brown. Rose decides that she quite likes the color brown.


       The sky is blue. Time is yellow. Earth is brown.


       Rose wonders what this means. Out of the colors she couldn’t see, she can now see three of them. Two because of the Doctor, one because of his ship. What does that mean? She wants to ask him, but can’t, because she’s only fallen harder for him and as difficult as it to look into his eyes and pretend he isn’t the reason for her ability to see color, it would be a lot more difficult to never be able to look into his eyes again because he’s an alien and he’s different and he’s beautiful, but oh god he doesn’t feel like that for her.


       Then comes the battle of Canary Wharf. She is separated from him across parallel dimensions and there is absolutely no way they can be together again, so she tells him. Not that he’s her soulmate, but that she loves him. Rose isn’t entirely sure, but she believes that he’s going to say that he loves her back before the connection breaks.


       She has to believe because the stars are going out and no one can save them, but the Doctor. She has to believe because once she got stuck in the parallel world it feels like something’s been snapped inside of her. Like there was a tether connecting her one heart to his two hearts and it was severed and she’s bleeding but it can’t be stopped because how do you heal an emotional wound that deep? Knowing that your soulmate is out there and alive, but not being able to reach them is agonizing. It’s a physical ache that sits in her chest, constantly.


       Rose builds. She can’t sit around and do nothing, even if she wanted to. After a life with the Doctor (it was really only two years, but it feels like so much longer) Rose can’t possibly sit still and do nothing.


       Miraculously, she gets back to him through an orange-haired woman named Donna. Donna is nice and Rose hopes that her time with the Doctor has been good. When they were separated, Rose had Mickey and her family and it was hard, but she still had support. The Doctor had no one, but at the same time, being separated might not have pained him as much. Rose meets everyone the Doctor has touched recently in some way and her heart warms because here is her soulmate saving the universe and helping others along the way.


       Then the meta-crisis Doctor is created and her original Doctor sends her back with him.


       And it hurts. About as much as it hurt the first time because this time he purposely sent her away, but he also sent her back with a copy of himself so it sort of evens itself out.


       The meta-crisis Doctor stirs up no new colors, and really, why would he? He’s the same man, which means the same eye color and she can already see brown.


       He’s the same man, Rose realizes. He’s the Doctor, just human.


       Which is unfortunate because apparently she no longer is. Or she is, but not in the ‘I’ll have a normal lifespan’ type of human way.

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        The Doctor, John Noble, as he calls himself (she still calls him the Doctor most of the time, because he is) figures it out first. The first signs of aging had hit him. It wasn’t that noticeable at first, just a few grey hairs here and there. But Rose doesn’t change, no wrinkles, no grey hairs (which is ironic, seeing as half the world is still grey to her), no signs of ailments or illness that come with an aging body and immune system.

        The Doctor runs some tests and it’s a sad day because although he is the Doctor (or at least in all the ways that count) and they do consider each other soulmates, she is not the one he is tied to, not the one she is destined to live the rest of her life with. That is the other Doctor. As long as he is alive, she would be too.

        Together Rose and the meta-crisis figure out how to get her back. They build and they work and by the time they are both fifty, it’s complete. Very similar to a dimension cannon, but hopefully won’t tear the universe apart. John volunteers the option of her leaving as soon as it’s done, but she refuses. He might not be the Doctor she was destined to spend the rest of her life with, but she will spend the rest of his life with him.

        In the meantime, they spend his life together. He makes her happy. He explains colors to her as best as he can. He tells her that when they met, in the basement of Hendrick's, he could finally see brown. He tells her that soulmates weren’t something his people did, which made him feel alone, until he realized that maybe it could be a good thing. Sure, he hadn’t been able to see everything the other Gallifreyans could, but at least, he joked, her eyes weren’t orange. He would’ve missed out on some lovely (Gallifreyan equivalent to:) sunrises and sunsets. He talked about how after the Time War, the fact that there was someone out there made for him had helped keep him going. He says that when they first met, he was going to wait until she said something about them being soulmates because, maybe, he was wrong about this particular Earthen era doing this or, maybe, she wasn’t his soulmate or, maybe… the list went on and on, but really he said, he was just afraid. She said she understood. After all, she never mentioned it for the exact same reason.

       John Noble dies peacefully in his sleep at the happy age of 95. A long life, thanks to the half-time lord part of him. Rose properly mourns him. She has already lost her mom and dad and Mickey and Tony’s getting older. She has forever. She can wait a little longer.

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       Rose finally gets back to him when she is 115 years old. She doesn’t look a day over 20. She had gotten back to her normal universe and stopped in London. Just to say hello to the city of her birth. She travels to Cardiff and says hello to Jack and meets Ianto (Jack’s soulmate) and the rest of the Torchwood team. Then she travels around the galaxy, using the device that she and John made. She helps people and saves lives and misses him. The Doctor had been her constant companion for years and it feels weird not holding his hand when she runs.

       Rose stops in London again after a while to help save the world. She is running down a corridor in Torchwood when he runs around the opposite corner. Their eyes meet and she freezes in her tracks.

       The first thing she notices is the color. That’s how she knows it’s the Doctor. She would have known it was him even without it (the eyes too old for his body give him away), but it's an immediate dead giveaway. The Doctor has regenerated. He still has a lot of hair, but now it’s floppier and tamer. He is wearing a bow tie, suspenders, and a tweed jacket.

       And the color. It’s dark, but light, and has sparkles. She can’t put a name to it. Not yet.

       He has also frozen. His face has a look of shock as his mouth opens and closes, trying to form words.

       Rose , he finally manages to say.   

       Yes, I’m here, it’s me, she wants to say, but she can’t seem to get the words out. She has missed him. The ache and pain and longing in her chest come back full force. She thought she would be okay not seeing him for a while, after all, it was her choice, but it’s like a tide of emotion has swept over her, barely holding her back from running and throwing her arms around her.

       She begins to walk slowly towards him. He doesn’t move, until then he does. The Doctor’s running towards her full force and then she’s running towards him and when they reach each other they don’t stop. His arms go around her and he’s smaller, but still strong and he picks her up and swings her around, burying his face in her shoulder. She thinks he is smelling her, but she can’t blame him. She is doing the same. (Although she later learns that he’s using his Time Lord senses to make sure it’s really her.) Rose, Rose, Rose , he’s repeating her name like a mantra and it’s a minute before she realizing that her cheeks are wet with tears. God , she’s missed him.

       When he finally pulls back, it’s just enough that she can stare into his eyes, their arms still wrapped around each other. One of his arms is around her waist, tightly holding her to him, while his hand travels up and cradles her cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb. She has no idea what to call the color of his eyes, but they are shining even more now, and she sees that it’s because they are sparkling with unshed tears of his own.

       It’s you, it’s really you , he says.

       It’s me, you big daft alien, she smiles, I always find my way back to you .  

       Rose Tyler, I- he is cut off by a loud explosion behind them, making heat flare up the hallway, and then they are running down the hallway in the direction he came from, hand in hand, and Rose finds that she doesn’t really need to hear the end of that sentence. She knows. She's always known. He literally gave her a part of himself. How could that not be love?

       They save the day and the world together that day. Just like it used to be. Rose Tyler and the Doctor. She gets to see the Tardis again, and it’s new and beautiful, and still blue , and it lightly strokes her mind when she walks in the door, telling Rose how much the Tardis missed her too. She looks back to see this new new new Doctor hovering by the doorway with a fond, loving smile on his face, nervously twirling his hands. He invites her to come along with him again and she smiles, walks over to him, holds his face in her hands, and says of course .

       He smiles, grabs her hands, and says Rose Tyler, I love you .  

       I love you too , she says back.

       His face lights up even more, and he’s hugging her and spinning her around, before dipping her down and kissing her, with the tips of her hair touching the new glass floor.

       They come up laughing and go into the kitchen, make tea, and tell each other stories. Rose tells the Doctor what’s happened with her since he left her on Bad Wolf Bay ninety-three years ago. He apologizes and although that’s what she thought she always wanted to hear, she finds that she’s not sorry he did what he did. It gave her John and their wonderful life together. He tells her about the Ponds; Amy, Rory, and Melody. He tells her that Melody became River Song and when he last saw her, she was headed off to the library, where he knows she is going to die. Rose comforts him about his losses and is sad as well because she thinks she would’ve gotten along well with Amy and would’ve loved to meet Rory (she would love to see a man actually be that patient, John could never sit still), and swap stories with River Song.

       The Doctor tells her that he was planning on helping the world this one last time because Jack was still down there and although he hasn’t been in contact with the man much, the Doctor still looks out for him and Torchwood was a bit too close for comfort. He tells her that he was planning on retiring in Victorian London and she says that if he still wants to spend time there, she is more than willing to accompany him. The Doctor says good because I’m not letting you out of my sight again .

       Rose and the Doctor fly to Victorian London and meet up with some old friends. They mourn the Ponds and play dress up in Victorian clothes. It’s the first time that Rose walks outside when she realizes that she can now see the colors of the leaves of trees and the grass and the bushes and shrubs. Not that there’s much of it. It’s mostly just winter colors, a mixture of brown and grey, but instead of grey, it’s something else. This is bright, brilliant, and it’s called green . The sky is blue . Time is yellow . Earth is brown . And the trees are green . No matter how many times Rose is introduced to a new color, it still amazes her. Everything is so bright and makes everything look so unique and different.

       While in London, they meet a young nanny named Clara, whom the Doctor is convinced he has met before. Rose believes him. Clara is outgoing and intelligent. Rose convinces the Doctor to invite Clara because she knows that if she wasn’t with him, he would have jumped at the chance to invite Clara. She kisses the Doctor in the main hall of the manor where she nannies and Rose laughs about it until the other girl's death, and they have one more person to mourn.

       It isn’t until the Doctor and Rose are in a monastery in 1207 that Rose thinks to ask the Doctor about the soulmates thing. She knows what John told her, but she wants to hear it from this Doctor.

       So he tells her. It’s pretty much the same thing that John told her. They’re soulmates. When he first met her, he saw brown for the first time. Something new that she learns though, is that she’ll be able to come back to life if injured fatally. Nothing like regeneration, more like Jack, quiet and with the same appearance. Not that she should be planning on getting inquired, the Doctor tells her, trying to look stern. The Doctor rambles on and on about how it’s because he’s the superior species and in the two soulmates couples he’s seen in which one half has an extremely long life (them and Jack and Ianto), once they meet, it seems that the half that was originally supposed to have a normal lifespan, stops aging.

       Rose thinks this is brilliant news. The Doctor will never have to be alone again.

       It’s Rose and the Doctor in the Tardis, as it should be.

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       The Doctor changes again. This time he looks older and his eyes are still green , so Rose doesn’t see any new colors, but she doesn’t really care either. She’ll love him no matter what he looks like because he’s still the Doctor. He wears a high collar shirt and a velvet coat and Rose thinks he looks handsome.

       Oh, they have adventures. They’ve found Clara again because she’s the “impossible girl.” She travels with them for a bit. Together, they find hell. Or heaven.

       As it turns out, it’s actually a Gallifreyan Matrix Data Slice where the Master, sorry, Missy, is uploading people.

       They don’t save Danny Pink, which means another period of mourning because he was a nice guy and occasionally put up with double dates (when he knew that Clara was still traveling with them, that is). They say good-bye, and Rose refuses to go to that meeting because she knows that the Doctor is going to tell Clara that they found Gallifrey and by the way Clara walks to meet with the Doctor, from where Rose is standing, watching (not stalking) she can tell that Danny’s dead, but she doubts the Doctor will realize that.

       Clara stops traveling with them for a while, but then she’s back again and they’re meeting Santa Claus and it’s so much fun. The Doctor accidentally makes someone immortal, and they meet Robin Hood, and see ghosts, and dissolve sand monsters. They go down an alley in London that reminds Rose of Diagon Alley. Most people can’t see it. They learn that it’s run by immortal Ashildr and Clara dies, again.

       It doesn’t make it any less sad than the first time(s) because this is real and permanent and the chances of seeing Clara again are like one in a thousand.

       The Doctor and Rose continue traveling, just like they’ve always done and just like they always will do. Rose begins to understand the pain of losing people and can only begin to imagine how the Doctor feels. She believes that she makes it easier for him though and the first time they get married only solidifies her feelings of that.

       They get married more than once. She tells the Doctor of her and John’s wedding and then, the next thing she knows, the Doctor is flying them off to a planet where weddings are three-day affairs and brides aren’t expected to do anything other than show up, be happy, and eat. (Rose still insists on a long white princess dress, but wears sneakers under it because he’s the Doctor and no matter how safe he claims this planet is, he attracts trouble.) They barely last a day and a half before they’re toppling a corrupt government and running for their lives, but it’s okay because they’re technically legally married now.

       (They pass a random American diner on their way running back to the Tardis where no American diner should be, that they both feel they should check out, but then there's a loud ruckus and no time to think about it anymore.)

       The Doctor and Rose are soulmates, living their lives in the Tardis, running for their lives and saving people, happy and in love.

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       Many years in the future when the Doctor regenerates again, he’s pale and pale and pale all over. He has white blond hair and white skin and is tall and skinny. He’s regenerating and Rose is worried and then he’s fine again and looks over at her before testing out new limbs and organs, but that one look was all it took. A new color flares into her vision. It’s bright. So so bright and light and harsh. Parts of the console room that had faded into the background as grey now stood out and there’s too much to focus on so she looks down. It’s over her clothes and there’s a line of from the door into the Tardis and Rose follows the trail with her eyes to the bottom of her shoe and thinks she must’ve stepped in a puddle of it somewhere.

       Then she realizes it’s blood. She’s bleed before, of course she has, but never had she thought it’d be such a bright color, it's always been grey before. This color is red , she thinks. The sky is blue . Time is yellow . The earth is brown . The trees are green . And blood is red .

       It’s just a few small cuts for Rose, nothing serious. The Doctor shading her from most of the shots that were being fired at them. The amount of blood is mostly from what they left behind. Sometimes not everyone lives.

       But now she can see this amazing color and then the Doctor’s sweeping her off her feet and she looks into his eyes and sees red , and she knows he knows cause he just smiles and then he’s flying around and saying that they need rest after what they’ve just been through.

       When Rose opens the door, all she sees is red . A light red sky, dark red grass, deep red ( maroon -ish?) leaves hang off the trees. Rose turns around to where the Doctor is standing behind her and kisses him. When they pull away, he is smiling like an idiot, and grabbing her hand, and pulling her out into a field of the red grass, and spinning her around like a maniac.

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       Many more years after that, the Doctor changes again. This time he has long shiny, straight, black hair and a figure and Rose figures that he’s not so much a he anymore as a she. The Doctor looks just as shocked as Rose does and when their eyes meet, a new color floods in. It’s dark and deep and Rose knows that this is the last color for her. Three hundred plus years and she’s finally collected all of them. Purple. The sky is blue. Time is yellow. The earth is brown. Trees are green. Blood is red. And the Doctor’s eyes are now purple. The last color. The whole rainbow. ROY G. BIV. All because of one person, the Doctor, who Rose loves now just as much as ever before.

       The Doctor has finished her examination of her new body. She looks unsurely at Rose, as if it were possible that just because she changed Rose wouldn’t want to be with her anymore. Rose walks up to this new Doctor, cupping her face with her hands and bringing their mouths together. It’s different and new and exciting and still so wonderful and Rose loves the Doctor so much.

       Rose pulls away laughing and tells the Doctor that they’re going to have to go shopping because it appears that the Doctor is going to need new articles of clothing that she probably has no previous experience with. The Doctor blushes, pink spreading across the Doctor’s new tan cheeks, and buries her face into Rose’s shoulder. The Doctor’s still taller, but not by as much anymore.

       Rose and the Doctor continue traveling. Rose can now see everything and loves this person who has brought all these wonderful colors into her life. The Doctor has kept her hair long and now understands why it takes Rose so long to shower sometimes. They have another wedding, this time with the Doctor wearing a white dress and when she lifts it up to show Rose the white converse on her feet, Rose’s hand flies to her mouth in surprise and gratitude and a flash in her eyes of fond memories, before Rose is flying forward to kiss the slightly smug smirk off the Doctor’s face.

       The Doctor and Rose Tyler in the Tardis, soulmates, as it should be. Where the sky is blue , time is yellow , earth is brown , trees are green , blood is red , and purple is the color of the Doctor’s eyes the last time Rose will ever see a new color.