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Poison Envy

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            Yuuri knew he was being crazy. He knew that Victor loved him and he knew that he loved Victor. It was just sometimes when he watched his boyfriend interact with Chris, it seemed like there was something more than friendship there. He loved Chris and thought he was a good guy and all, but he hated how he put his hand on the small of Victor’s back and whispered to him and most of all, he hated how close they always stood together. At first he just thought it was the European factor. It had taken a while to get used to how comfortable Victor was with affection and nudity and all of that, but when it came to Chris, it just seemed like something more. He was wondering if he should ask about it, but that could hurt Victor’s feelings. The last thing he wanted was for Victor to think Yuuri didn’t trust him. He just couldn’t help but wonder.

            They’d come pretty far as a couple. After the finals last season, Yuuri slept with him for the first time and they’d kept that up ever since. He’d even moved in to Victor’s St. Petersburg apartment, but the more in love he felt with Victor, the more jealous he got. Now they were in Paris, almost a year later at their second event of the Grand Prix series. Yuuri had placed silver and Victor, gold, but he was content with that The series had been pushed back after a delay in the challenger competitions earlier in the year, so they were actually coming up on their anniversary and staying some extra time to celebrate. The only draw back was, so was Chris.

            “You’re quiet tonight.” Victor said, one arm wrapping around Yuuri’s waist and his free hand holding a champagne glass as he chatted with Chris. It wasn’t as extravagant as the finals, but there was still a banquet after Internationaux De France and Yuuri was anxious to leave and get Victor alone, or at least away from Chris. “All good?”

            “Yeah.” Yuuri smiled, stepping close and leaning into his touch.

            “Okay, well tell me when you’re getting tired.” Victor planted a kiss on Yuuri’s forehead, then turned right back to his conversation with Chris.

            Yuuri tuned out for the sake of his sanity and just leaned his head on Victor’s shoulder. He felt bad for thinking it, but he just hated how engaged Victor sounded. He wanted to go back to their hotel room and remind himself that Victor was just his, but he couldn’t even figure out how to rip his boyfriend away from this supposed friend that captured all his attention every time they were in a room together. Finally, he yawned and Victor glanced towards him again.

            “I guess it’s kind of late, yeah? You’ve had a long day. Do you want to go back?”

            “Can we?” Yuuri asked, nuzzling his cheek against Victor’s shoulder before leaning in to whisper. “I want to go before I run out of energy, you know?”

            “Oh.” Victor laughed. “Okay. Chris, we’re gonna head out, but I’ll meet up with you soon alright?”

            “You two have fun.” Chris shrugged, smiling as he waved goodbye to them and Yuuri tugged Victor towards the ballroom exit.

            “You’re not usually in such a rush.” Victor said as they stepped out towards the elevators.

            “I’m just excited. The competition went well, we’re in Paris, tomorrow’s our anniversary.” He pressed the elevator button then turned around to pull Victor into a brief kiss, grabbing his tie to tug him down and melting his lips against Victor’s. “Can I take the lead tonight?”

            “Yeah, of course.” Victor grinned. “What’s gotten into you?”

            “Nothing, I just want to be with you.” He was also a tiny bit tipsy, which often made him a little more inclined to drag Victor to bed. The elevator doors opened and he tugged Victor inside, kissing him the whole way down to the ground floor.

            Waiting for the taxi to come was torture, but Yuuri was grateful to be in France where they could be as affectionate in public as they wanted, as opposed to the strict customs of Russia they were usually subject to.

            “Yuuri, you’re making me blush.” Victor snickered as he pressed a line of kisses down his neck, hugging him close to escape the cold air. “We’ll be at the hotel in like five minutes.”

            “I know, I just can’t help it.” He wanted Victor to think only about him and he wanted to dispel any thoughts at all that might linger about Chris deep down in his boyfriend’s mind.

            The cab arrived and Yuuri yanked him into the back, nibbling on his collar while Victor gave the driver directions. “Tell him to hurry, Vitya.” Yuuri whispered, sliding his hand further up the inside of Victor’s thigh, running just his index finger over the bulge in the other’s dress pants to make him shiver.

            “You’re trying to kill me tonight.” Victor breathed, taking Yuuri’s hand away from his lap and kissing his palm before holding it to keep him still. “Wait until we get there.”

            “Sorry.” Yuuri pressed one more kiss to Victor’s lips then pulled away, nuzzling their noses together a little as the cab pulled up to the hotel.

            Victor paid quickly and they stumbled out, half running into the lobby towards the elevators. Yuuri was on him the moment the doors shut, sucking hard on the skin of his neck and pressing his thigh between Victor’s legs until they reached the twelfth floor. “Come on.” Victor breathed, taking Yuuri’s hands to lead him out and towards their hotel room.

            Yuuri loved the room. The view overlooked the city and the bed was ginormous, the sheets softer than anything he’d ever felt in his life. As soon as Victor opened the door, Yuuri tugged him inside and towards the bed.

            “You’re so much crazier now than you were a year ago.” Victor teased as he undid Yuuri’s dress shirt button by button, opening it up and leaning down to kiss Yuuri’s chest.

            “Vitya.” He whined when Victor took his nipple in his mouth, nibbling on the sensitive spot before pulling away and kissing back up to his neck. “Get undressed first.”

            “So bossy today.” Victor pulled back and slid his jacket off, hanging it on the bedframe at the foot of the mattress before undoing his shirt and belt.

            Yuuri followed close behind, wiggling out of his dress pants and kicking them to the floor before peeling out of everything else he had on. “Can you get the stuff from the suitcase?” He blushed. All of the dirty stuff Victor had gotten him to do over the past year and he was still too embarrassed to say the word lube.

            “Of course.” Victor said, stripped down to his underwear when he kissed Yuuri’s cheek. “Get comfy and think about what you want.”

            “Okay.” Yuuri smiled and crawled back on the bed, laying down with his head on the enormous pillow as he watched Victor dig what they needed out of the suitcase. He was tempted to touch himself, but he was still a little shy and needed to be warmed up before he felt really comfortable.

            “Do you want to go under the covers?” Victor asked as he walked back up, tearing a condom open and tossing the lube on the blankets next to Yuuri.

            “Not tonight.” Yuuri blushed, taking the lube and spreading a little bit on himself just to help things get going. “Can I ride you?”

            “Yeah of course.” Victor dropped his briefs and rolled the condom on, Yuuri quickly glancing away from him out of habit. He still felt dirty trying to stare at that part of Victor’s body, as silly as that was. “You’re so cute.” Victor sighed as he slid in next to him, pulling Yuuri straight into his arms. “Everything good?”

            “Mhm.” Yuuri nodded before leaning in to catch Victor’s lips. He may be shy, but once they got going, he’d feel a lot more confident and he really wanted to blow Victor’s mind for once instead of vice versa.

It was stupid, but he felt like if he kept Victor completely satisfied, that he’d have even less to worry about when it came to Chris. He tugged a little on Victor’s lower lip and prodded his mouth open with his tongue, his hand sliding down between them to start stroking him through the thin latex. They usually didn’t use condoms, but they both knew they’d be going right to sleep after and Yuuri wouldn’t want to have to shower first.

            Yuuri tightened his grip a little and Victor groaned, parting from the kiss to reach for the lube. “I don’t need a lot of prep.”

            “I’m still gonna give it to you. You’re too much of a masochist in bed sometimes.” Victor laughed as he spread the lube over his fingers, reaching down to add a little more around Yuuri’s entrance.

            “Vitya, warn me.” He shivered.

            Victor stuck out his lower lip and planted a little apology kiss on the corner of Yuuri’s mouth. “Sorry. Open your legs a little more.”

            “You sound like you’re coaching me.”

            “Am I not?”

            Yuuri rolled his eyes and did what Victor said, tensing when the first finger pushed inside until Victor’s lips came down to his neck to calm him. “Mm.” He sighed, forgetting momentarily about his quest to be objectively hotter than Chris as Victor’s teeth nibbled gently on the sensitive skin and his hand eased back and forth.

            “Good?”

            “Mhm.” Yuuri sighed, finding the resolve to reach down and touch himself as he spread his legs a little bit more. “Hurry though. I want to get through this part.”

            “You’re usually a little more into our foreplay.” Victor said as he eased a second finger inside. “I kind of like seeing you eager.”

            “I just want to get to making you feel good.”

            “I feel good right now.” Victor smiled, taking Yuuri’s glasses off and reaching over to set them on the nightstand beside the bed. “Come here.” He pressed their lips together and pressed a third finger in, swiping his tongue over Yuuri’s lower lip when he opened his mouth.

            Yuuri sighed into the kiss and let go of his cock, so he could get both arms around Victor’s shoulders. He really loved being kissed. Victor’s lips were always warm no matter how cold it was outside. He whined against Victor’s mouth when his fingers pressed in especially deep. “I wanna start.” He whispered, nuzzling their noses together. “Can you get ready?”

            “Yeah Baby.” Victor gave him one more kiss and pulled away to slick himself up with the lube, his cheeks pink as Yuuri sat up and moved over to straddle his thighs.

            “Wait, sit up a little, so I can be closer to you.” Yuuri said, lifting himself so Victor had room to move.

            “This good?” Victor asked, his hands on Yuuri’s hips as he sat up a bit against the pillows.

            “Yeah, here.” Yuuri reached underneath to hold Victor’s cock, easing down onto it despite the stretch. He was pretty used to doing this by now, so he knew the pain would subside.

            Victor sighed in response and leaned his forehead against Yuuri’s shoulder. “You’re always so tight.”

            “Yeah?” Yuuri eased all the way down and rolled his hips to help adjust, taking a few deep breaths before he tensed his muscles around him and started to move up and down.

            “Yuura.” Victor moaned, wrapping his hand around Yuuri’s cock to stroke him in time with his motions.

            His heart skipped at the tone of Victor’s voice and he tightened himself around him as best he could, building a steady rhythm before he leaned down and got Victor back into a kiss. He thought he was doing a pretty good job. Victor kept breaking the kiss just because he couldn’t help whining, or moaning and Yuuri wasn’t exactly quiet himself, but he loved that Victor had so little control over himself.

            “Fuck me, Vitya.” Yuuri whispered, taking Victor’s free hand around to his ass. He usually wasn’t one to dirty talk, but he wanted this to be good. He wanted Victor to cum first and cum hard.

            “Holy shit, Yuuri.” Victor laughed, his face red and his breathing heavy as he talked. “You’re gonna make me fucking cum and it’s been like five minutes.”

            “Yeah?” Yuuri rolled his hips and Victor’s head tipped back, his hair falling out of his eyes as he moaned again. He bit his lip at the sight and dug his nails into Victor’s shoulders, bringing one hand down to rub the sensitive part of his chest.

            “Hhh, Yuuri don’t do that.” Victor whined, his face burning red as he pushed his hips up against him.

            Yuuri let go, but stopped and rolled his hips again until Victor’s thighs started to tense. He could tell he was close, so he stopped holding back his own pleasure and let Victor stroke him faster, whimpering and moaning for Victor to get him even closer.

            “Yuuri!” Victor cried out when he came, his hand slacking on Yuuri’s erection as he hid his face in his neck and emptied into the condom. He whimpered his way through the orgasm, until he came to his senses enough to tighten his grip on Yuuri and make him follow suit.

            Yuuri got a little too embarrassed at the last second and clamped a hand over his mouth when he came, letting Victor stroke him through it until he finished and relaxed.

            “Come here.” Victor said, pulling him down into one more kiss with too much tongue that made their teeth clack, but Yuuri didn’t care. He loved being kissed that way and his heart skipped a beat when Victor flipped him into his back, pulling out before he continued kissing him. “I love you.” He whispered, pressing a sweeter kiss to Yuuri’s cheek.

            He knew he looked silly, but Yuuri couldn’t help but grin back at that. “I love you too.” He wrapped his arms around Victor and squeezed tight, his heart warm and his nerves gone. Exchanging those words always reassured him that Victor was his. Only his.

            “I can’t wait to spend our anniversary together tomorrow.” Victor planted one more kiss on Yuuri’s nose then pulled away to get cleaned up.

            Yuuri figured he was just going to brush his teeth and come to bed, so he dug the covers out from under the pillows and tucked himself in, waiting for Victor to come join him until he saw him getting dressed again. “Why are you putting your clothes back on?” He yawned. “Aren’t we going to bed now? It’s like midnight.”

            “Oh I’m going to meet Chris downstairs at the hotel bar.” Victor said as he zipped his pants again. “You can go to sleep Babe, I’ll be back up in like an hour.”

            Yuuri’s stomach turned. They’d just had sex and it was the night before their anniversary. They’d just spent two hours hanging out with Chris at the gala, why did Victor have to rush off and see him now? “Do you want me to come with?”

            “Hm? No, no, you’re tired. Get some sleep and I’ll be back in a little.” He buttoned his shirt up and came over to plant one more kiss on Yuuri’s forehead. “Call me if you need me.”

            “Okay.” Yuuri mumbled, rolling over to face away from him as Victor toed his shoes back on. So much for dispelling all thoughts of Chris. Even after sex, good sex he might add, Victor was running off to see him. “Have fun.” He heard the hotel room door shut and rolled his eyes. At least he’d have Victor to himself tomorrow.

**

            Yuuri managed to fall asleep, but was woken up when Victor came back into the room. He didn’t want to be, but he was annoyed. They were in Paris for crying out loud. He shouldn’t be sharing his time with Victor’s best friend. He stayed facing away from him as he listened to Victor undress and change into pajamas.

            “Sorry, did I wake you?” Victor asked in a quiet voice, sliding up behind Yuuri and wrapping an arm around his waist. He pressed his lips to the back of his neck and as much as Yuuri wanted to be mad at him, he couldn’t be. Not with how warm and cozy it felt to share that giant bed with the city view right in front of him.

            “Yeah, but it’s fine.” Yuuri said, rolling over in Victor’s arms and snuggling into his chest. “Keep me warm and I’ll forgive you.”

            “Aw. You’re cute.”

            Yuuri kissed Victor’s chin and took a deep breath to really push all the jealousy out of his mind as he settled into his arms.

            “I’m really happy that we’re staying. I want some extra time with you.” Victor murmured as he stroked his hand down Yuuri’s back. “You’re so soft. I love it when you sleep naked.”

            “Victor.” Yuuri blushed when he felt that hand slide down to grab his ass.

            “I can’t help it. I like your body too much.” He nuzzled his nose against Yuuri’s hair and pressed another kiss against his forehead. “So Eiffel Tower tomorrow?”

            “Yeah. Did you get that reservation at the restaurant with the view?”

            “I had to pull some strings, but we got it.”

            “Great.” Yuuri grinned. “I’m really excited.” He tucked his head into Victor’s neck and kissed him there, feeling his heart swell with the thought of all the romance ahead of them and how happy he was that Victor wanted to spend the time with him too. “We should go to sleep.”

            “Can I keep holding you like this?”

            “Yeah, Vitya.” He smiled. “Don’t let go.”

**

            Yuuri’s fears disappeared the next morning when he woke up to Victor’s mouth around his cock and nearly had a heart attack. “Vitya.” He gasped, his hands scrambling under the comforter to grab onto Victor’s hair, tugging at it just enough to give him something to hold, but not enough to hurt him. Victor was much more of a morning person than Yuuri was, so this was a pretty common occurrence, but he still had no self control when it came to oral. Victor just had no gag reflex and he knew how to use his hands, caressing his balls and massaging his perineum until he was twitching and moaning. “Victor, I-I’m gonna cum.” Yuuri whimpered. “Hh, fuck, don’t stop. Don’t stop Vitya, I-I’m” He jerked up when he came and clutched Victor’s hair, his hips twitching as Victor swallowed everything he had to release under the covers.

            Victor pulled back the covers and grinned up at him with shiny lips. “Good morning?”

            “I both hate and love you right now.” Yuuri breathed, his face still hot as he came down. “Mostly hate.”

            “Aw no you don’t.” Victor turned his head and kissed the inside of Yuuri’s thigh just to make him blush harder. “You just look so cute when you’re sleeping and it was time to get up, but you were already naked and trust me, you had some wild morning wood going on.”

            “Well do you want me to do you?”

            “No, I just wanted to make you feel nice when you woke up.” Victor shrugged, sliding up over him to plant a kiss on his lips, keeping his own lips closed, so Yuuri wouldn’t have to taste anything he didn’t want to. “Wanna go for a walk and grab a pastry or something?”

            “Yeah.” Yuuri nodded as he brought his hands up to fix Victor’s hair a little bit. “Shower first?”

            “Sure.” Victor smiled, nuzzling their nose together. “Just let me kiss you a little more.”

            “Vitya.” Yuuri giggled when he started to kiss a line down his neck. “Come on, we have to get out of bed at some point.”

            “But you’re just so adorable.”

            “I am not.”

            “Hush, do you really think that?”

            “I mean kind of.”

            “Yuuri, how much love do I have to smother you in before you realize how beautiful you are?” Victor sighed, planting one more kiss on Yuuri’s jaw before pulling away. “Come on, I’ll relax you in the shower.”

            “Vitya, I can’t get it up again, I swear-“

            “I meant I’d wash your hair and stuff, Pervert.” Victor teased as he climbed out of bed. “Don’t get too carried away.”

**

            They ended up wasting the morning away in the hotel room, spending ages in the shower together before Victor did Yuuri’s hair after just for fun. He was never very good at slicking it back on his own. By the time they were ready, it was almost time for their reservation, so they just walked.

            “I love the weather here.” Yuuri smiled as they walked down the stone road, hand in hand with Victor. He loved traveling together and the air was chilly, but not too cold. He felt cozy as they made their way to the restaurant and when Victor spoke some of his limited French to the hostess, he practically swooned.

            “Can you order for me?” He blushed while they looked over the menu, sitting together at a small outdoor table just a half mile down from the Eiffel Tower. The view was gorgeous, but he couldn’t stop looking at Victor. He just looked so happy and excited and Yuuri loved seeing him that way.

            “Of course.” Victor grinned. “I’ve been waiting to eat here for like two years, I’m so excited.”

            “Just get me whatever you’re getting.”

            “Are you going to have the wine? I know we drank a bit last night, but if you don’t try it here, I might cry.”

            “Okay.” Yuuri laughed, closing his menu and leaning his head on his fist to stare at him. “You look really pretty today.”

            “Huh?” Victor blushed. “Aw, it’s not like I did anything special.”

            “I know.” Yuuri shrugged. “But your hair’s all nice and you look cute in fall clothes and I don’t know, I’m just… I’m really happy.”

            “Yuuri.” Victor stuck out his lower lip and moved to lean across the table and kiss him, Yuuri leaning forward to meet him when Chris stepped out onto the patio area. “Chris?” Victor stopped and stood up, grinning. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

            “Huh? Oh I got a reservation since I had the time.” Chris shrugged, walking forward to hug him. “I had no idea you guys were here.” He laughed. “Don’t let me crash your hot date or anything, I have a table of my own.”

            “What? You’re not gonna sit alone, come join us.” Victor said, grabbing a spare chair and scraping it up to their table.

            Yuuri’s heart sank to his stomach. He really, really didn’t mind having Chris around and stuff, but this was supposed to be their romantic vacation. They were at the most romantic restaurant in Paris for crying out loud, was Chris really going to sit with them? Victor would forget he existed with his best friend sitting next to him.

            “Do you know what you’re getting yet?” Victor asked Chris, reopening the menu and putting it in front of him. “I’m dying to try like ten different things, so help me nail this.”

            “Ooh, I’m on it.” Chris nodded. “We’re already going broke for this lunch anyways, maybe we could all get multiples and share everything.”

            “Yeah, perfect, let’s figure it out.”

            Yuuri sighed and sat back in his chair while they talked, looking over at the Eiffel Tower to try and at least appreciate the view. Victor was usually so attentive and caring. It freaked him out how much that went out the window when Chris was in the room.   

            A waiter came by and Chris ordered everything for them in perfect French, something that made Yuuri’s stomach tie in knots. He knew how attractive it was to him when Victor did that. What if Victor felt that same way when Chris did it? He felt childish for thinking all of that, but he couldn’t help it. Not with Victor putting his hand on Chris’s shoulder every time he laughed.

            “Oh my God, so this guy came to my room last night after we had drinks, right?” Chris said, leaning back in his chair. “It was like déjà vu. He was crazy clumsy and just such a bottom trying to be a top. It reminded me of when we used to hook up.”

            Yuuri’s head shot up at that. “Wait, what?”

            “Hm?” Chris raised his eyebrows. “Oh like forever ago you know. When we were like, what? Twenty two and nineteen or something.”

            Yuuri’s heart leapt to his throat as he turned to look at Victor. “Why didn’t you tell me about that?”

            “Oh.” Chris bit his lip. “Sorry, Vitya. I thought he knew.”

            Yuuri’s eyes welled. They’d had pretty explicit conversations about their romantic history. Yuuri hadn’t had much to share, but Victor told him that he’d disclosed everyone he’d been with.

            “Yuura, hey.” Victor frowned, reaching across the table to offer his hand. “Hey, I just forgot about it, okay? We were talking about relationships when we had that conversation and that was just sex and just a few times too. We were young, you know?”

            “I…” Yuuri tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to fucking cry. He felt stupid and childish for being so sensitive, but it was like all his worst fears were being confirmed. Why would Victor lie about that if there wasn’t something with Chris to hide now? “I-I would never hide something like that from you.”

            “Yuuri, you know we’re just friends now right? Seriously.” Chris said, his face falling to concern. “I would never get between you guys. Have I?” He frowned and looked at Victor. “Vitya, if I’m causing problems-“

            “No, fuck. You didn’t do anything.” Victor assured him and Yuuri balled his hands into fists. He was the one who was fucking upset, who cared if Chris was worried about getting between them? He was getting between them. Literally. He was crashing their date in Paris for God’s sake.

            “I think I’m gonna go.” Yuuri swallowed, knowing he would break into tears if he kept talking.

            “Yuuri we’ve been looking forward to this for months, come on.” Victor sighed. “Can you just let me talk to you?”

            “You lied to me.” Yuuri croaked, his lips quivering a bit as he looked away. “You didn’t think to tell me that you used to sleep with this guy that you’re around constantly? Th-That you spend time alone with on like a regular fucking basis?” He sniffed and wiped his eyes in a hurry as he stood up and pushed his chair back in. “You know how insecure I feel and its like you don’t even give a shit.” His voice cracked halfway through and he turned around to leave, walking back inside and through the restaurant to the door they came in through.

            Yuuri felt like he could puke. All he could think about was how Victor had shared hotels with Chris at competitions Yuuri hadn’t been assigned to. He’d been telling himself this whole time that he was just being anxious and unreasonable when he worried if Victor might ever cheat on him. He could already feel his phone blowing up, but it made his stomach hurt to think about opening it. He caught a cab on the side of the road and just rode back to the hotel, biting on the inside of his cheek to hold himself together until he could get some privacy.

            He kept himself together until he made it to the hotel room and just let himself cry. He hated this. Every time he started to feel secure in their relationship, he found something to worry about, but this time he wasn’t just jealous, or anxious. Victor had actively hidden something from him. He couldn’t get the image out of his head. Victor fucking Chris, telling him all the sweet things that were supposed to be reserved for him, kissing him, holding him.

            Yuuri clutched a pillow to his chest and cried, ignoring his phone as it buzzed in his back pocket. What would he do if Victor had cheated on him? They lived together. Victor was his coach. His whole life would fall apart, but worse than losing a stupid apartment, or even his career, losing Victor? He didn’t know how he’d even go on. It felt like shit knowing this was supposed to be their romantic get away and now he couldn’t stop fucking crying like some little kid.

            He cried until he ran out of tears and just shut his eyes, his heart heavy and his stomach hurting, close to falling asleep when he heard the door open and Victor ran in.

            “Yuuri?” Victor asked, setting a large paper back on the table by the television before rushing over. “Baby, hey you have to let me talk to you. Are you okay?”

            Yuuri just looked at him with pink eyes and shook his head.

            “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.” Victor said, his eyes wide and full of concern as he sat next to him on the bed, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder and stroke his hand up and down his side. Touch always soothed Yuuri and even though he was mad, he sighed a little at the feeling of it. “Yuuri, you know me, yeah? I forget things. I didn’t hide this from you on purpose, it was just such a long time ago and I hardly even think about it anymore.”

            “It’s not just that.” Yuuri swallowed, curling up into a tighter ball. “You act like you love him. You ignore me when he’s around a-and you’re always touching him and when he said that you guys used to hook up, all I could think about was all the hotel rooms you guys have shared over the past year.” He choked out a quiet sob and shut his eyes again, not wanting to look at Victor’s face. “I feel like you’re going to leave me for him, o-or like you’re already sleeping with him behind my back and-“

            “Yuuri.” Victor breathed, his eyebrows pushing together. “You think I’m cheating on you?”

            “I don’t know.” He sniffled. “I-I’m scared that you are.”

            “That um… That hurts me you know.” Victor swallowed. “I feel horrible that I didn’t tell you about Chris, but it was really a genuine mistake. I didn’t mean to make you feel neglected, but shit, Yuuri that’s my best friend. I don’t get to see him that much and I get excited when I get the chance.” His shoulders slumped and he took his hand away from Yuuri. “I’ve never cheated on you. I’ve never even thought about it.”

            “You’re just…” Yuuri swallowed the lump in his throat. “You’re so touchy with him.”

            “I didn’t even realize.” Victor sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

            “I don’t know, I was scared.” Yuuri’s stomach turned. “Am I being crazy?”     

            “You’re not being crazy, but thinking I would cheat on you?” Victor blinked his eyes a few times and looked away. “Am I that bad of a boyfriend? I mean I know you get anxious, so I-I always try to reassure you and everything, but fuck, if you thought I was cheating, I must be doing a pretty shitty job.”

            “You’re not, you just… I-I just get jealous when I see you being so affectionate with Chris. I guess that’s on me.” Yuuri swallowed, pushing himself up and looking at Victor. Shit, he looked like he was about to cry.

            “I’m sorry. I-I just really didn’t realize.” Victor croaked, his eyes a little pink when he looked over at him. “You know deep down that I would never cheat on you, right? A-And Chris feels like shit for making you feel like this.”

            “Fuck, I’m being crazy.” Yuuri huffed, wiping his eyes and looking out towards the window. He felt stupid. Victor was so loving towards him all the time and Yuuri had accused him of cheating. “Vitya, I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything I just… I-I get in my head. I’m terrified that I’m gonna lose you some how.”

            “Are um… Are you gonna be mad at me if I keep spending time with him?” Victor asked in a quiet voice, his eyes cast down on his lap. “I don’t ever want to make you feel like you’re second, or fuck, make you so anxious that you cry your eyes out like this, but even though everyone knows me, I really don’t have a lot of friends. He’s really important to me, Yuuri.”

            Yuuri’s heart sank. Shit, he didn’t want Victor to think he couldn’t see his best friend or something. “Vitya, of course. I-I would never take that away from you.”

            “But are you gonna be okay with that?”

            “Yeah.” Yuuri nodded. “Yeah, fuck, I just… I overreacted and I’m sorry. I mean, I know you forgot, but just don’t hide things from me? That freaks me out. But I would never want to get between you and Chris, just maybe don’t ignore me when all three of us are hanging out together, okay?”

            Victor’s lips pulled up into a little smile and he nodded, leaning in to plant a kiss on the middle of his forehead. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

            “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

            “I brought you back a ton of food. I felt really shitty that you were going to miss out on lunch at that place.” Victor said, cocking his head towards the bag.

            “Aw. Thanks, Vitya.” Yuuri moved in close and tucked himself into Victor’s side. “I love you.”

            “I love you too.” Victor laughed, wiping the tear tracks from Yuuri’s cheeks and pressing a few kisses into his hair. “I didn’t mean to ignore you and stuff, I just get excited when I get to see my best friend those few times a year, yeah? I promise the rest of this vacation will be just about us. No more Chris.”

            “I feel bad that I made him feel shitty though.” Yuuri grimaced. “I’ll call him later and tell him I’m sorry, yeah?”

            “Yeah, but I don’t want you to feel bad for how you reacted. I’m the one who messed up.” Victor gave him a big squeeze and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “You know that you’re my entire world, right? You’re never second.”

            “Yeah?” He sniffed, a smile on his face as he snuggled in close to Victor.

            “Are you still up for the Eiffel Tower tonight? I have a surprise planned for you, you know.” Victor teased, turning his head to pepper Yuuri’s neck in kisses. “But if you’re still feeling anxious and stuff, we can always stay in.”

            “No, that sounds nice.” Yuuri smiled, giggling at how Victor’s lips tickled his neck. “Stop, that tickles.”

            “But I want to hear you laugh.” Victor said as he pushed Yuuri away and started to tickle his ribs, sneaking a hand under his shirt to get at his stomach.

            “Victor!” Yuuri yelped, snickering as he tried to bat Victor’s hands away. “Stopppp.”

            Victor took his hands away and laid over him, catching his lips in a proper kiss that got Yuuri to wrap his arms around his shoulders. “Hey.” He whispered, nuzzling their noses together. “You really do know that no one comes close to you, yeah? I need to know that you understand that.”

            Yuuri blushed and nodded his head, pushing one hand up into Victor’s hair.

            “No one has ever meant as much to me as you do. Not Chris, not anyone.” He kissed the center of Yuuri’s forehead. “I need you to communicate with me when something bothers you, okay? If I’m ignoring you, or if I’m being too touchy with someone, just tell me.”

            “Okay.” Yuuri sighed. “I should have said something before, I just didn’t want to fight.”

            “I’m not gonna get mad if you’re just telling me how you feel, Yuura. I always want to know.” He pecked him on the lips again then settled down on top of him, hugging tight. “You’re such a good pillow. Wanna take a nap and snuggle before we go? Also you should eat.”

            “Yeah.” Yuuri laughed, hugging Victor back and kissing the top of his head. “We can take a little break.”

**

            After some much needed make up cuddling and a slow make out session on the hotel bed, the light outside just started to dim and Victor took Yuuri out to the Eiffel Tower.

            Yuuri didn’t know what strings Victor had pulled, but when they got to the top of the tower, he didn’t see anyone else. “Are we not supposed to be up here?” He blinked.

            “It’s fine, I called a favor in.” Victor shrugged, taking Yuuri’s hand to lead him from the elevator out to the railing. “We only have two minutes, so…”

            “So what?” Yuuri laughed as he looked out at the view, Victor’s arms wrapping around his waist from behind.

            “So, I love you.” Victor said, holding him tight as Yuuri looked out over Paris in the evening light. The sky was a dark blue, the moon just starting to poke through the clouds and the wind made him press back into Victor’s warmth.

            “I love you too, Vitya.” He smiled. “You don’t have to-“ Victor’s hands disappeared from Yuuri’s waist and he turned around to see him down on one knee. “Vitya?” Yuuri gasped, flying his hands up to cover his mouth. “Victor, are you-“

            Victor pulled the small black box from his pocket and flicked it open to reveal the ring. “I was planning this way before today, but I want you to know that you’re always first to me, yeah? Always.”

            His mouth quivered and he simultaneously felt horrible for second guessing Victor earlier and incredibly happy that this whole thing was happening.

            “Yuuri Katsuki.” Victor raised an eyebrow and took Yuuri’s hand in his. “Be my husband?”

            “You say it so casually, oh my God, yes.” Yuuri laughed, his eyes watering as Victor slipped a diamond encrusted gold band onto his ring finger. “Holy shit.”

            Victor shot up and kissed him hard, holding him against the railing and pressing their lips together as a few tears leaked down Yuuri’s cheeks. “I love you.” Victor mumbled against his lips, holding Yuuri snug against his chest before he pulled back and leaned their foreheads together. “You’re always my number one, okay? Always.”

            “I believe you.” Yuuri grinned as he nuzzled their noses together, the cold wind giving him even more of an excuse to press close to him. “I’m sorry I doubted you, Vitya. This is… Fuck, this is the happiest I’ve ever been.” He sniffled, pulling back to wipe his eyes.

            “Me too.” Victor said, his eyes wet as he reached up to push Yuuri’s hair out of his face. “You want to know something?”

            “Sure?”

            Victor smiled and pressed one more kiss to Yuuri’s lips before lowering his voice. “Chris could never come close to you in bed.”