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To Love a Ninja: The Collection

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You woke up in an unfamiliar place with your hands bound together at your wrists, suspended by a meat hook over a vat of glowing green stuff. Your first instinct was to try and wriggle yourself free but you fought against it, hanging the air was a lot better than falling into whatever that green crap was. You decided to calm yourself by recounting the events that lead you to your current situation.

That night you had been snooping around your mentor’s office, looking for clues about his mysterious disappearance. He was one of many scientists to go missing in the past month, and when you called the police they basically told you to shove off with their token answer of “we’ll look into it”.

Unable to wait for the cops, you decided to investigate on your own, which lead your mentor’s lab where you were attacked and captured by several armed robots. You stood no chance of escaping even if you did know how to fight, which you didn’t. You took a blow to the back of the head and passed out.

That explained being tied up but not the green vat of glowing liquid beneath you. The swirling hues of blue and green captured your attention, it was soothing in a way, like a lava lamp. You shook away that thought, what were you thinking? That stuff was probably as acidic as it smelled. You tried to move but your body wouldn’t respond which told you that you’d been hanging there for quite a long time.

“Sorry, professor.” You said. “I really wanted to help you.” You said. The professor had been like a father to you since you’d come to know him three years ago. You were fascinated by his teachings and decided to apprentice under him, follow in his footsteps. You wanted to help people, cure them, and do something good for humanity. So much for that dream.

“Kraang, tell Kraang that the one called _____ is in the state known as being awake.” You heard a robotic voice say. Glancing around you found the source of the voice, it had come from one of the two robots, standing beside the vat of green stuff.

“Let me go, you overgrown tin cans!” you yelled and the Kraang bots, as you cleverly called them, drew two odd looking guns and aimed them at you. You swallowed against the lump in your throat, perhaps name-calling wasn’t the best way to handle your situation. “Or you know, I can totally hang around if you want.”  

“If you can make lame jokes then I guess your fine.” You heard as a new person entered the room, you felt a sense of relief as you recognized them. It was Irma, a girl you knew from school, she was always hanging around with April and Casey.

“Irma! Thank god, help me.” You said and it dawned on you that if Irma was your savior then surely the Kraang bots would be bothered by her presence.  

“Help you?” Irma said, “No, you have it backwards. You are going to help me.” She said. “You are going to help me destroy the Ninja Turtles.

“What? Are you crazy? The Ninja Turtles? They are a myth.”  You said. “You honestly think there are humanoid turtles running around protecting the city?” You said. “Next you’re gonna tell me that there’s a giant alligator living in the sewers.” you scoffed.

“It doesn’t matter what you believe because you are going to help me whether you want to or not.” Irma said.

“Why the hell would I help you?” you asked and without missing a beat Irma’s body unfolded like one of those paper fortunetellers, revealing her true form. In the center of her robot body was a pink brain, like the ones sitting inside the other robots.

“I am Kraang Prime, the ultimate life form and I will compensate you for your cooperation.” He said.

“No way!” you struggled, even if the turtles weren’t real, you knew that they were the good guys, you weren’t about to help the enemy. “Nothing you can offer me will make me help you.”

“Is that so? What if I offer to return your mentor to you?” He said and it struck a nerve with you. The professor helped you when no one else would, you basically owed him your life. What could you do but agree?

“Fine.” You said "What do I have to do?" You asked.

"That's the easy part.” Kraang said then turned toward the two robots next to him. “Add the turtle DNA to the formula.” He said.

You watched as one of the Kraang bots added some sort of serum to the green stuff you were hanging over. When it was done, Kraang Prime yanked a lever protruding from a computer next to the vat and you began to descend toward the green stuff.

“Hey, can we talk about this.” You said. “don't you think I will do a better job if I am alive?”

“Don't worry, we aren't going to kill you.” Kraang Prime said. “Though, this process will make you want to die.” He laughed and watched with joy as you were submerged.   

It had the consistency of Jell-O only it ate away at your body like acid. You screamed, allowing the green stuff to find its way into your mouth where it made its way into your lungs. There you were caught between drowning and being burned alive, and you felt like your whole body was being ripped to shreds.

After a few moments the pain began to subside and found that the rope that had previously bound you had disintegrated and you were able to swim to the top of the vat. You pulled yourself over the rim and were sent tumbling to the ground at Kraang’s feet. 

You coughed up what remained of the green stuff and pushed yourself up off the ground.

No! You changed your mind, your mentor had always told you to fight for what was right. He wouldn’t want to be saved at the cost of you losing yourself.

Kraang looked down at you and smiled, and you instantly hated that smile. Adrenaline coursed through your body and you jammed an elbow into Kraang’s pink face. He squealed and fell back, giving you a chance to run, which you gladly took.

“After that them!” you heard Kraang prime say but something in that green stuff must have done something to you, you felt light on your feet and stronger. Spurred on by this fact you made your way out of the warehouse and through the streets of New York.  You hurried through alley ways and familiar back streets in order to lose the Kraang bots that were after you.

After a few moments, once you were sure you had lost them you slumped against a wall behind a dumpster. With the adrenaline rush over you couldn’t find the energy to move anymore. Hopefully you’d be safe until you woke again.

Then the world went black.


 “Hey, guys look.” You heard a faint voice between your bouts of consciousness. “It’s a mutant turtle.” Said the voice.

“Are they alive?” asked another voice, this one dripping with authority

 “I think so.” The first voice said.

 “Mikey, don’t touch them.” Another voice, this one was gentler than the others.

 “Let’s bring them back to the lair” the voice belonging to Mikey said

 At this point you were coherent enough to push yourself up off the ground. You glanced around and discovered that you were in the middle of an alleyway surrounded by, four mutant turtles. You couldn’t believe it. It was them, they did exist. “The Ninja Turtles.” You said.

 “How do you know about us?” the authoritarian turtle asked, his eyes were cautious and you could tell he wouldn’t settle for anything less than the truth.

“There are rumors floating around about you guys but no one believes them.” You said. “I didn’t… at first. I mean come on, four crime-fighting humanoid turtles. It’s a little ridiculous.”

 “Ridiculous?” the red banded turtle, who hadn’t said a word since you woke up Said.  “You’re one to talk.” 

 “What does that mean?” you asked, bristling at the challenging air he was giving off. You pointed at him, insult at the ready but it died in your throat when you noticed the shade of your skin. Your arm was green and scaly, you followed the length of your arm back toward your body and shot to your feet. In addition to your green arms you had two legs to match and a vibrant unmarred plastron.

Your breath began to quicken as you ran a hand around to your back to feel a hard substance. Oh no. You ran toward a window in the alley and caught your reflection. You touched your face. You were half turtle and half human.   “I’m a… I’m a turtle.” You said.

“You mean you didn’t know?” the gentle voice asked, his worry filled eyes hidden beneath a purple mask.

“No, this isn’t right. What the heck was in that stuff?” you felt a panic run through you, everything crashed in around you, your lost mentor, the transformation, the discovery of the Ninja Turtles. You felt dizzy and before another moment passed you fainted, but not before you heard the blue banded turtle say.

“Nice going, Raph.”


When you woke up, you discovered that you were on a sofa in the middle of an abandoned subway station. Everything about the place felt homey, welcoming and warm, well, except for the smell.

 Suddenly, the sofa dipped behind you and you turned to see the only turtle you could identify, “Mikey.” The way he was smiling seemed to make you feel secure. Like you could let all of your stress melt away. 

“How’d you guess my name?” he asked.

“I heard the blue turtle say it.” You said.

“Mikey, give them some space.” Speak of the devil.

“Sorry about that.” Said the turtle in blue. “I know this is a lot to take in but you don’t have to worry, we’re the good guys. We’ll help you.” He said. “My name is Leonardo.”

“Leo-nardo.” You tested his name on your lips and he smiled. “The red turtle, as you would put it, is Raphael.” He said, “He’s got something he wants to say to you.” Leonardo said, but the tone of his voice told you there was a threat hidden behind his words.

Raphael grumbled and came forward. “Sorry.” He said but you didn’t remember him doing anything that he needed to apologize for. Still you accepted his apology with a nod.

“Hi, I’m Donatello.” The purple banded turtle said. “Am I right to assume that, given the fact that you didn’t realize that you were a turtle, you were once human?” Donatello asked.

“Yeah. Then I fell into this green Jell-O stuff and when I woke up I was like this.” You said, unsure of just how much to tell them. Would they help you if they knew that Kraang had done this to you or would they assume you were up to something. You couldn't risk it so you didn't disclose any more.

 “Fascinating.” He said and you were kind of put off by it but ignored it, he was obviously “Fascinated” for science reasons. “Well, don’t worry, I am working on a retro-mutagen, it should change you back.” He said. That was good to hear.

“Nice to meet you all. My name is ____.”  you said 

“Well, _____ welcome to our humble home.” You turned around to see another mutant, this one was a rat, and looking into his eyes you could see just how wise this one was. “My name is Hamato, Yoshi.” He gave a bow. “You may call me Splinter.”

“Hello, Splinter.” You said then turned toward Donatello. “How long will the retro-mutagen take?” you asked, you wanted to be human again as soon as possible.

Donatello rubbed his hand over the back of his smooth head, he was wearing a guilty look. “It’s still in the early stages of development.”

“How early?” you asked.

“Research.” He admitted.

You felt your heart drop at that simple word. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t go home like this.” You said. “I’ll be locked up, or worse! Experimented on.” The panic in your voice cause each of the turtles to take a step toward you. You could only guess that they knew what you were feeling. You felt guilty for panicking when they were probably stuck in turtle form indefinitely.

“Calm yourself.” Splinter said. “I suggest that you stay here with us until we can deal with your situation.” He said. “That is, if you want to.”

“Thank you for your kind offer.” You said, “But I don’t think…” you trailed off as something crossed your mind. The turtles could change you back and then you could work on rescuing your mentor.  “Okay.” You said.

“Good, then one of my sons will be assigned to watch over you.” He said and you got the feeling that he expected you to pick one. You turned toward the four turtles.

Leonardo watch you stoically but seemed to be eager to help.

Mikey was practically jumping up and down to get your attention.

Donatello was looking at you the way your mentor looked at one of his test subjects.

Raphael had his arms crossed over his plastron, seemingly annoyed with the whole thing.

“I choose…”