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Team 7 Chat

Chapter Text

ramenlord  created a new group chat.

ramenlord  added  sakupunch, sasuke  and  cakekashi  into the group chat.

sasuke: what the hell is this

ramenlord: omg sasuke izs a grouo chat go with thw timez

sakupunch: Naruto, learn how to spell.

ramenlord: i dont want to

sasuke: 

sasuke  has left the group chat.

ramenlord: dont leave us again sasuque

ramenlord  has added  sasuke  into the group chat.

sakupunch: Naruto, why

cakekashi: someones salty :3c

ramenlord: youre one to talk sennsei jfc

cakekashi: what r u talking about im sweet

sakupunch: First of all, sensei you're not twelve, so stop.

sakupunch: Second of all, Obito.

cakekashi:

cakekashi: I came out to have a good time, but I honestly feel so attacked right now.

sasuke: Naruto I can hear you groaning through the wall. Shut up.

ramenlord: smh

ramenlord: sensei shut up 

cakekashi: rood

ramenlord: also sasque

ramenlord: this isnr an essay in school dattebayo

sakupunch: So you write 'dattebayo'?

sakupunch:

sakupunch: I bet you even have it as a shortcut.

ramenlord:

ramenlord  has left the group chat.

sasuke:

sasuke: ... sasque?

sakupunch: I can't deal with this.

sakupunch  has left the group chat.

cakekashi: now its only u n me

sasuke: No, it's only you.

sasuke  has left the group chat.

cakekashi: I

cakekashi: awww

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ramenlord  has added sasuke, sakupunch and cakekashi into the group chat.

ramenlord: where the f are u sesnei

cakekashi: lost on the road of lyf

sakupunch: sensei

sakupunch: youre in the park

sakupunch: reading porn

cakekashi: I am not! >:()

sakupunch: I can see you

cakekashi: o shit rlly?

sakupunch: So you are in the park!

cakekashi:

cakekashi: fuck

cakekashi has left the group chat.

sasuke: you're blowing up my goddamn notifications. shut the fuck up. I'm trying to mediate.

ramenlord: im coming over brb

sasuke: what the fuck no 

sasuke: don't you dare.

sakupunch: ishipit

sasuke: what

ramenlord: what

sakupunch: what

ramenlord: GODDAMMIT SASUKE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR

ramenlord: yelling no will not make me go away

ramenlord: ooh an open window!

sakupunch  has added cakekashi into the group chat.

ramenlord: Saku wth

sakupunch: Sorry guys he bugged me until I added him back

sakupunch:  screenshot.jpg

cakekashimy cute little pups are so mean omg

sakupunch: I'm outside buying groceries and 

sakupunch: I just heard a shriek and a bang what the hell.

ramenlord: so I'm like climbing through the window, right?

ramenlord: when im in i start looking for sasuke

ramenlord: then i found him under another window 

ramenlord: i snuck behind him and breathed in one of his ears

ramenlord: h E SHRIEKED IT WAS SO FUCKIBG GIRLY

ramenlord: AND THEN KAKADHISWNSHEI FELL OUTTA THE TREE BEHIND DA WINDOS

ramenlord: SASQE WAS AO RED ASHGSHAHAGAG

ramenlord:  s h i t

ramenlord  changed their name to see me at my funeral.

see me at my funeral: He's dead. 

cakekashi: omfg sasuke that's not how ur supposed to unlock ur frickin shadingan

see me at my funeral: Don't tell me what to do.

sakupunch: just got home, what happened?

cakekashi: scroll up

sakupunch:

sakupunch: Don't bang Naruto up too much, we have missions to do tomorrow.

see me at my funeral: hn


see me at my funeral  changed their name to stayinalive.

stayinalive added biteme, bugsrawesome, beautIno™, smolbean, troublesome and myfood into the group chat.

stayinalive changed the chat name to KonohaTeams™.

stayinalive: Welcome toooooooo!!!

stayinalive: the best fucking thing to ever happen.

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beautIno™: Naruto

beautIno™: why

beautIno™: where is he anyway?

troublesome: trblsmedzdgshjshshshrzeuhrjrd

myfood: Sorry, he feel asleep writing that.

sakupunch: It's fine. Naruto is... I don't know.

sasuke: he's here

sasuke:  stupidNaruto.png

smolbean: His head is on ur lap!!!

sakupunch: omg ishipit

smolbean: Me too, Sakura-chan

cakekashi: has anyone seen mah mask? I can't go out liek dis

sakupunch:

stayinalive:

sasuke:

sakupunch: omw

smolbean: quick babe

smolbean: I got ur back

myfood:

troublesome:

beautIno™:

bugsrawesome:

biteme:

stayinalive:

sasuke:

beautIno™: since when were you dating?

sakupunch: since naruto started pining for sasuke and sasuke stole not so discreet glances at naru

stayinalive:

sasuke: 

sasuke  has left the group chat.

stayinaliveomg

stayinalive: o m g

stayinalive: brb gotta get meself a BF

sakupunch: okay, I'm here 

sakupunch: holy shit he's only in his pants--

smolbean: do he got that booty?

sakupunch: he dooooo

sakupunch: OKAY I GOT A PIC WITHOUT HIS MASK- 

sakupunch:  hesgonnakillme.jpg

beautIno™: why is your sensei so handsome

biteme: naruto just ran past me only in his black pants????

biteme:  wtf

sakupunch: ???

biteme: Hes got abs???? and a lot of muscles what the hell

biteme: a fucking six-pack 

sakupunch: 

beautIno™:

smolbean: sasuke u better watch out or someone's gun steal ur man

myfood: was naruto running in the 90's

sakupunch: chojis not as pure as I thought he was

troublesome: hs a memr wht dd u expct

cakekashi: I found my mask! ^v^

beautIno™: why r u so handsome

cakekashi: o sheet a fangirl b ye-

cakekashi has left the group chat.

beautIno™: I'm not!

sakupunch:

smolbean:

troublesome:

myfood:

biteme:

sakupunch: I mean

beautIno™: shut up

stayinalive: GUESS WHO'S GOT A BOYFRIEND

stayinalive  has changed their name to happilyinlove.

sakupunch: the ship has sailed

smolbean: congratulations naruto-kun!

troublesome: cngrts 

myfood: knew it 

biteme: tell me ur secret Naruto

beautIno™: can I plan the wedding

bugsrawesome: don't let sasuke bug u 

sakupunch:

sakupunch: shino was silent this whole time and made a comeback with this lame ass pun 

happilyinlove has added sasuke into the chat.

happilyinlove has changed sasuke's nickname to narutosproperty.

 

narutosproperty: naruto no

happilyinlove: naruto yes

narutosproperty: babe no

happilyinlove: 

happilyinlove: sorry

biteme: #whipped

happilyinlove: i can't hear you over the sound of me not being single 

biteme: broruto 

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biteme: btw whsy the hell is not our sensei here

myfood: now that you say it, why isn't ours here too?

cakekashi: cuz they aint as cool as me

cakekashi: duh

happilyinlove: jfc sensei stfu

cakekashi: why r my cute lil pups so rood

sakupunch: That is because you are our sensei.

sakupunch:  duh

sasuke: 

sasuke: sensei

sasuke: why isn't a group of Uchiha's called a Sharingang?

cakekashi: because they're all Sharingone

happilyinloveOuchiha

sasuke:

sasuke  has left the group chat.

happilyinlove: oh shit 

happillyinlove: he's probs planning to go kill itachi again brb

beautIno™: everyone is so extra omg

beautIno™: where is everyone tho

myfood: well, shikamaru is at home, sleeping

myfood: sakura and hinata are on a date

myfood: shino is training his kikaichu

myfood: naruto is currently talking sasuke out of revenge

myfood: kakashi-sensei is somewhere reading porn

myfood: and asuma-sensei is flirting with kurenai-sensei

beautIno™: and kiba is?

myfood: who

beautIno™: are you still salty about him eating your food

myfood:

myfood: duh

biteme: bite me

myfood: ew no

myfood: thats disgusting

biteme: I

biteme  has changed their name to dogboy.

dogboy: there

beautIno™: brb imma add asuma-sensei

beautIno™ has added smokinhot to the group chat.

smokinhot: the hell is this

cakekashi: asuma

cakekashi: not in front of the kids omg asuma

cakekashi: what would kurenai say

smokinhot: oh shi- crap

cakekashi: ##whipped

beautIno™: ##whipped

smokinhot: even my own kid

smokinhot: why

happilyinlove: im back what happened

cakekashi: nothing much

happilyinlove  has added sasuke to the group chat.

sasuke: why cant i leave

happilyinlove: no one can leave bae


sasuke: my boyfruad isj sp cite

sakupunch: 'boyfruad'

sasuke: hi eyse r so blu

sasuke: and hisa hari comined w his smle is liek a sushine

sakupunch: omg sasuke it's 4am go to sleep

sasuke: but my boofrand

smolbean: GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP BITCH

sasuke: 

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sasuke: jfc im leaving

sakupunch: what happened?

happilyinlove: so

happilyinlove: we r sittin in his living room, doing the pocky challenge 

happilyinlove: and just before our lips touch, itachi breaks the pockey in two with his hand, forcing us apart

dogboy: lmao #cockblocked

happilyinlove: STILL CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND ME NOT BEIMNG SINGLE

dogboy: one day

dogboy:  o n e day

dogboy: thats not going to work

sasuke:  bye

cakekashi: naru-chin

cakekashi: stop ur bf before he kills itachi

happilyinlove: on it


smolbean: now that i think about it....

smolbean: why isnt team ten here?

happilyinlove: team who ttebayo

cakekashi: doctor who

sasuke: what

sakupunch: what

cakekashi: waht

cakekashi: *porn

cakekashi: ***what

troublesome: ty r nt hr cz no dt kw tm

myfood: translation: They are not here, bevause naruto doesn't know them

troublesome: ts

my food: no problem

beautIno™: shikamaru

beautIno™: do you know what will happen if you dont stop being lazy?

beautIno™: that will happen

troublesome has left the group chat.

beautIno™: tch

beautIno™: Shino, you were trying to find new ways to use mite, right?

bugsrawesome: I mite be

beautIno™  has left the chat.


smolbean has added GREENBEAST, BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF, weapons and fAtE

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: MY RIVAL

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BE OUTSIDE TRAINING WITH MY STUDENTS

GREENBEAST: IT TRULY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY, GAI-SENSEI!

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: VERY YOUTHFUL, LEE!  ✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

GREENBEAST: GAI-SENSEI!

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: LEE!

GREENBEAST: GAI-SENSEI!

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: LEE!

GREENBEAST: GAI-SENSEI!

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: LEE!

GREENBEAST: GAI-SENSEI!

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: LEE!

GREENBEAST: GAI-SENSEI!

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: LEE!

[Abbreviated due to lenght]


weapons: kill me

fAtE: gladly

Chapter Text

fAtE: oh no

smolbean: what is it?? who died???

fAtE: i think i just felt an emotion

smolbean: jfc neji-niisan get over your fucking self

fAtE: heck no


*3 AM*

sasuke: if cinderellas shoe fit perfectly why did it fall of

sasuke: lasgna is just sphagheti flavured cake

sasuke: bathtbs ar judt reversd boazs

sasuke: tge brsin namrd itswfl

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: I HAVE COME TO A YOUTHFUL REALIZATION THANKS TO YOU, YOUNG SASUKE.

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: NOW COME JOIN THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH 

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: COME, TRAIN WITH US

sasuke: goddamn why the fuck not


*7 AM*

sasuke: i hte mysrlf

sasuke: IM DEFECTING TO FUCKING SUNA BYE BITCHES

sasuke: ALSO im taking naruto with me

 cakekashi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

beautIno™: nooooooooooooooo

troublesome: no

my food: nooooooooooooooooooooooo

sakupunch: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

smol bean: noooooooooooooo

fAtE: heck yea

dogboy: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

smokinhot: y tf should i care

beautIno™: i am sorry my sensei is an embarassement to the whole world, i will go discipline him now

bugsrawesome: it would bug me if you took him with you

happilyinlove has changed their name to notleavingichiraku

sasuke: babe why


cakekashi: so you just blew up the market and two cats

sasuke: just, let me say, from the bottom of my heart

sasuke: my bad

cakekashi: i am

cakekashi: so proud of you rn


BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: MY RIVAL

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: YOU HAVE, YET AGAIN, BEATEN ME AT SCALING THE HOKAGE MONUMENT USING ONLY ONE HAND

cakekashi: mah

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: SO HIP AND COOL

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: I WILL BEAT YOU NEXT TIME, MY RIVAL

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: NOW, AS PUNISHMENT FOR LOSING, I WILL SCALE THE MONUMENT USING ONLY MY TONGUE

cakekashi: i see

cakekashi: good luck

BLUEBEASTOFTHELEAF: THANK YOU, MY RIVAL. NOW, I AM OFF TO THE MONUMENT. 

weapons: i am so sorry

cakekashi:  i feel more sorry for you

weapons: i

weapons: youre right

weapons: im not even insulted


notleavingichiraku: i love all my friends, i also love how they

notleavingichiraku: *clenches fist*

notleavingichiraku: fucking abandon me all the time

sasuke: I JUST WENT TO THE FUCKING STORE


myfood: should i buy a phone or 1000 glazed donuts

beautIno™: the phone 

myfood: ...

myfood: oops


smol bean: saku, honey, is that a dead body?

sakupunch: maybe?

smol bean: it is, i can see it right in front of me

sakupunch: i promise ill clean it up before dinner!

smol bean: okay, just done forget


notleavingichiraku: IRUKA-NII IS GOING TO BE JOINING WOOOOOOOOOO

cakekashi: yeshhhhhhhh

notleavingichiraku: what

cakekashi: what

notleavingichiraku: nevermind

notleavingichiraku has added sea dolphins

 sea dolphins: why am i here

notleavingichiraku: to suffer

 sea dolphins: i didnt raise you to be like this

notleavingichiraku:  you did

sea dolphins: oh, yeah, youre right

cakekashi:  hello, iruka-sensei! nice to see you here (V✪ω✪V)

sea dolphins: hello kakashi-sensei, it is not so nice to see you here

cakekashi: im heartbroken, truly,

cakekashi: you shattered my heart into pieces that cannot be glued together

sea dolphins: good

cakekashi: (V ´ ⋏` V)

sea dolphins: /╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

notleavingichiraku:  what the fuck

sea dolphins: confuse, dont abuse

sea dolphins: ┬┴┬┴┤ ͡°)/\╱\

sea dolphins: ┬┴┬┴┤ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)/\╱\

sea dolphins: ┬┴┬┴┤/╲/( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)/\╱\

sea dolphins: ┬┴┬┴┤ ε==/╲/( ͡° ͡° ͜ل͜ ͡° ͡°)/\╱\

cakekashi: ┐(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)┌

notleavingichiraku: i

notleavingichiraku: i cant deal with this

notleavingichiraku has left the group chat.

Chapter Text

god  has joined the group chat.

notleavingichiraku: who the fuck

sea dolphins: language

notleavingichiraku: whom the fuck

sea dolphins: n O

god: i came to show u some pictures uwu

notleavingichiraku: oow-oo?

cakekashi: what is going on

sasuke: why am i still here

sakupunch: because you love naruto

sasuke: 

sasuke: tru

god: anywayhereugolmao.jpg

notleavingichiraku: is

notleavingichiraku: is that me

cakekashi: and me, yes

sasuke: ...

sasuke: socute

sea dolphins: im saving this

god: go ahead :3

god: btw what day is it today?

notleavingichiraku changed their name to its-wednesday-my-dudes

sasuke: oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sakupunch: i hate each and every one of you

sakupunch: except my beautiful wife hina

smol bean: (▰˘◡˘▰)

god: i though i was the fucked up one but woop here we are

god: myhandslipped.png

smol bean: im sorry sakura but that is my new wife

sakupunch: im sorry hinata but that is my new wife

smol bean: wait wtf

sakupunch: have i ever told you how much i love you

its-wednesday-my-dudes: who is she

cakekashi: ur mom

its-wednesday-my-dudes: no u

cakekashi: i see why that went wrong

sasuke: bitch thats really our mom wake up america

sakupunch: america who

sasuke: yo idfk

god: naruto change ur username it takes too long to type ffs

its-wednesday-my-dudes has changed their username to nah bitch

god has changed nah bitch's username to loser

loser: fuck u

god: no u

loser: you got me there

loser: but wait thats really my mom

cakekashi: ye, she was called hte Red Hot Habanero

god: nvm that look at this cutie

god: lookathislittlesmile.jpg

loser: ill see you all in hell

sasuke: i wont

loser: but babe

sasuke: BuT bAbE

sasuke: hahabitch.png

sea dolphins: haha

loser: I WAS BE T R A YE D

loser: BY MA OWN FLE SH ABD B L O OD

sea doplhins: no you were not

loser: no i was not

cakekashi: \˚ㄥ˚\

 

Chapter Text

loser: is anyone oposed to me adding gaara here???

*5 minutes later*

loser: k then

loser has added yo im a bad bitch you cant kill me to the group chat.

sasuke: what the fuck

yo im a bad bitch you cant kill me: :)

sakupunch: thats so terrifying what the f

yo im a bad bitch you cant kill me: :)))))))))))))))))))

loser: Garra, garaa, ggara, my bro, my side piece

sasuke: the fuck

yo im a bad bitch you cant kill me: your what

loser: NOTHING

cakekashi: :3c drama?

sea dolphins: no miso soup with eggplant for you

cakekashi: (´ヘ`()

yo im a bad bitch you cant kill me: no but seriously what is that

sasuke: definition.jpg

yo im a bad bitch you cant kill me: :)


sasuke: loser where tf are you

loser: da hospitale

sasuke: what why

loser: t a K E A WILD FUCKIN G U E SS

sasuke: 

sasuke: ok im sorry

loser: i already had 4 life attempts on me by the nursadjsahoiwafjofkesfj\skd

loser: i already had 5 life attempts on me by the nurses and a doctor

sakupunch: where the fcuk are you sensei

cakekashi: tis i, 

cakekashi: the scariest crow

cakekashi: im enjoying the show

loser: T^T

sea dolphins: kakashi

cakekashi: oh

cakekashi: FUCK

sea dolphins: :)

sakupunch: R.I.P Kakashi-sensei

                     not a good sensei

                           a loner

                          scarecrow

sasuke: rest in pieces

sakupunch: sasuke is in suna rn

sakupunch: kakashi-sensei threw him and idk where he is. so im taking a wild guess

loser: out of all of you people, hinata and iruka-sensei were the ones to visit me

loser: sasuke at least apologized and thats enough but im disappointed

sakupunch: why are you even in the hospital

loser: oh i got some sand under my skin and i couldnt get it out so gaara tried to help but it got worse

sasuke: i 

sasuke: so its not even my fault naruto what the fu ck

loser: its not but i like you saying youre sorry cuz you never say it irl

sasuke: tru


smokinhot: 

                                                    KONOHA WOMEN GRADING SCALE:
                                                              Tsunade: bewbs 10/10
                                                               Anko: chainshirt 9/10
                                                          Kurenai: asuma stfu its 8/10
                                                                    Shizune: 8/10

smokinhot: S H it   wr oNG  CHAT 

smokinhot: HOW DO U DELETE MESSAGES

beautIno™: BITCHES I KNEW IT HA FUCK YOU SENSEI IM TELLING 

beautIno™: imma add kurenai sensei

beautIno™ has added KurenaiYuhi

KurenaiYuhi: Asuma, can we talk.

smokinhot: Ino i hate you

smokinhot: Yes, of course.

 

Chapter Text

loser: yoHOHOHOHO

loser: is halloween time B^]

sasuke: its literally the fifteenth of november

sasuke: and we dont say 'yohoho' on halloween

sasuke: isnt that a pirate thing?

loser: halloween time

cakekashi: halloween time B)

sakupunch: sensei where's your nose

cakekashi: in my pocket, why?

sakupunch: what

cakekashi: oh, you meant my nose! haha... 

cakekashi: bad news

cakekashi: i have someones nose in my pocket

sasuke: cry about it

loser: so THATS where it went!

cakekashi: what

loser: what

loser: (can i have it back)

cakekashi: (pay me)

loser: what the FUCK sensei >:(

seadolphins: 

loser: what the FRICK sensei :<

cakekashi: uwu

sakupunch: even though this chat has everyone, why is only team 7 and iruka-sensei active?

sasuke: theyre out doing missions, while sensei is LATE.

sasuke: AGAIN.

cakekashi: i had an unfortunate tumble with a squid

sakupunch: ...

loser: oh, I see sensei!

loser: wa

loser: JDHASKJDKQOAOKDOPL

loser: sensei looks like an uchiha ahahhhahhahahahhahhahhh

loser: 

cakekashi: hm?

loser: yeah, uh

loser: nevermind


sasuke: how dare you bring such an ATROCITY home

loser: itts just bagged milk???

loser: cow tiddy sauce???

sasuke: 1, never say that again

sasuke: 2, if you buy it again, it'll end up smashed in your face

loser: i will drink it as it busts open

sasuke: relationship: cancelled

loser: WAIT NO IM SORRY VBABE

loser: BVABE PLWEASE

loser: owo?

 sasuke  has left the chat.

sakupunch: you know thats entirely your fault

sakupunch: right?

loser: T^T

cakekashi: the missus gonna leave you soon fo' sho'

sakupunch: oh god who let you hang out with B

cakekashi: me

sakupunch: i knew it was that motherfucker

seadolphins: hm

sakupunch: i suddenly have urgent stuff that needs to be done

sakupunch: right now

sakupunch: this instant

sakupunch: bye

cakekashi: why dont my students love me T^T 

seadolphins: well

cakekashi: owo

seadolphins: that

seadolphins: that is why

loser: what if i clapped the bags of milk like some cheeks

cakekashi: that is cursed and i never want to see it with my own eyes again

cakekashi: i will stab the sharinagn out so i dont have to remember reading that

loser: sharinagn

loser: hope sasuke likes the new name

loser: kinda hard to pronounce tho

seadolphins: naruto what did we say about being a little

loser: shit?

seadolphins: annoying

loser: ahahahhahahhahahah

loser: ha

loser has left the chat.

cakekashi: wanna date?

seadolphins: we've literally been dating for the last three months

cakekashi: what can i say

cakekashi: youre hot

sakupunch: NOT IN THE CHAT SENSEI OH MY GOD GROSS

sakupunch: IM GONNA PUKE

sakupunch: i need my soft and badass girlfriend back