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The dorm was supposed to be quiet, if the knowledge of having the two most quiet members of the group are the only ones there are taken into consideration.

However, if you can see what these two quiet members are doing in the living room, particularly on the couch, is not close to being silent at all.

Mark is fully naked, slumped against the couch, his upper body is pressed against the backrest while his trembling knees dig against the plush covers, his back arched and ass jutted out to accommodate Jaebum's fast, deep, and unrelenting thrusts.

The younger of the two is equally naked and has one of his hands on Mark's hair, pulling and pushing the older's face against the edge of the backrest, depending on his mood, while the other is at the older's hip, pushing Mark's ass further against his sinful plunges, both of their bodies are covered in sweat, moans, screams, and grunts spilling out of their lips consistently, along with the loud slapping of wet skin on wet skin, and the loud sound of the couch creaking against the wooden floor.

 

~*~

 

Mark was taken aback when Jaebum suddenly told him to leave the studio early while Jinyoung and Yugyeom still have hours to spend because of their recordings and vocal lessons. He had told himself to not give in, to tell Jaebum that he is not in the mood and that he doesn't want to fuck with him anymore, but, as always, the cat always gets his tongue. Jaebum has that power in him, to make him surrender himself fully, even if he knows that this is not going anywhere, at least, how he wants it to go or end up to.

They saw Jackson, Youngjae, and Bambam on their way out, the three just went out to buy snacks for Jinyoung and Yugyeom before they took their leave to their respective houses. Jaebum murmured a quick good bye and see you all tomorrow to the younger boys, telling them to take care as they go. Mark just smiled at the boys, and reluctantly meets Jackson questioning and worried eyes in the process. Jackson just stared at him before glancing at the intertwined hands of their hyungs, while Jaebum is lauging with whatever Bambam had said about the small incident about the convenience store crew not recognizing Youngjae.

Mark shakes his head a little at Jackson, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth and Jackson's eyes widened. Jackson knows what his hyungs have been doing, he also knows what Mark truly feels about the whole situation, and recommends to put an end to it immediately since it's not healthy, but, looking at the situation now, it seems like the redhead is still not ready to let go.

Jackson lets out a frustrated grunt, not being able to hide what he truly feels as he stomps all the way to the room, banging the door loudly at the process, making Mark flinch, his hold against Jaebum's hand tightening a bit. Youngjae and Bambam looked at the now closed door confusedly, and Jaebum just laughs it off before releasing Mark's hand, hugging the boys’ goodbye one more time. Once they are alone, Jaebum murmured a "Let's go", latching his hand on Mark's forearm, guiding him towards the exit of the building. Of course, Mark follows, he always does.

The moment they enter the dorms, Jaebum has Mark pinned against the wall, kissing him fervently and with so much lust and hunger Mark is not sure if he can take all of it. His hands are everywhere, undressing the older quickly, ridding him of his sweatpants and shirt, breaking their kiss in the process. Mark forced himself to calm down as Jaebum's mouth came in contact with his sensitive neck, the bruises that the younger left on his chest a few nights ago are still healing, but he knows that the younger do not care.

Little does Jaebum know that while he is undressing and marking the elder, he is also slowly abolishing the barrier that Mark had put up in his heart. Mark can feel the wall crumbling into small pieces with every kiss, bite, touch, and words spilling out of Jaebum's mouth as they fuck.

As the wall crushes, Mark is sure that his heart will go next.

 

~*~

 

"You're not allowed to touch." Jaebum bites on Mark's earlobe hard before slapping his hand that was pumping his dick. Mark cries out loud, reluctantly placing his slapped hand on top of the backrest, joining the other one in clawing and gripping the leather material tightly until his knuckles turn white.

Jaebum had fucked him raw for the first time, the younger boy was too horny to think about preparation. As soon as he has Mark's clothes off, he carries him to the living room and threw him on the couch. He spits on Mark's hole a few times before plunging his hard cock in from behind. Mark has to grit his teeth to endure the sharp pain coursing through his veins. Because of the lack of lubrication, it took Jaebum a little longer than usual to be able to sink into Mark's hole balls deep.

"So fucking tight." Jaebum growls on the elder's hair, both of hands gripping the older's shoulders as he withdrew his cock slowly, the burn and drag of the younger's cock creating a trail of fire inside Mark's walls and Mark cannot help but wail, burying his face on top of leather cushion, drenching it with tears.

"J-J-Jaebum - i-it h-hurts..." His voice came out as a whimper and was cut by a squeal when Jaebum forced his dick back in to him before setting an angry, punishing pace, not caring if Mark was sobbing and begging for him to slow down or to stop. He doesn't care, he just wants to fuck Mark so that he can cum, he never cared about Mark or about his pleasure, he wants release, and Mark was there the first time he asked for it, and he thinks that it's okay, it's okay to treat Mark like this, because he is just his sex outlet anyway, and he made it clear the very first time this has happened.

And Mark knew about this, agreed to it, because Jaebum carries all the weight in his shoulders being the leader, he is more than willing to help their leader to lessen his worries and stress, so, he agreed.

However, falling for Im Jaebum is not one of the things that he agreed on.

 

~*~

 

Mark wasn't given much choice so he endured the pain, which slowly turned into pleasure when his hole got used to the pace Jaebum is inducing, especially when the younger had wrapped his arm around his waist to push in deeper, hitting the bundle of nerves inside Mark while the other is pulling at his hair, revealing his pale neck for Jaebum to place licks, kisses, and harsh sucks on.

"J-Jaebum - fuck!" Jaebum suddenly bites on his neck and Mark fears that with how deep and painful the younger is biting on, the bruise will last for days and it will be hard to get covered by make-up. He sobbed and screamed in a crazy mix of pain and pleasure, and it seemed to spur the younger on, his thrusts grew harder and harder, mercilessly drilling and driving himself into Mark's asshole, the creaking of the couch against the floor increased in volume, as well as the decibels of both men's grunts of pleasure (mainly from Jaebum).

"Jaebum - let me touch myself, please." Mark begs, he cannot take it anymore, Jaebum's erratic thrusts is now missing his prostate, he won't be able to come untouched at this point since Jaebum is just focused on his own pleasure. Jaebum finally nods his approval against his hair and Mark scrambled to lower one of his hands to grab his dick that has been dangling uselessly in front of him. He jerks off hurriedly; matching the younger's thrusts and he unknowingly clenches on the huge girth inside him and Jaebum growls heavily, which only made him fuck his hand faster and harder.

"Fuck, Mark - fuck!" Jaebum delivers three sporadic thrusts against Mark, burying his cock deep inside his ass and comes violently, his pants ragged and breaths hot against Mark's nape, and his grip on the elder’s hips bruising as he pulls out of Mark's hole, his cum dripping out of the clenching and unclenching muscle and he groans heavily, shoving his cum back inside the very inviting hole and fucks the older again, the slide now easier because of his cum and the squelching sounds of his cock fucking the abused hole is ringing heavily on Mark's ears.

"Jae-jae - Please!!" Mark cries out loud, making Jaebum smirk against his hair as he replaces Mark's hand on his dick, fisting the painfully hard muscle skillfully and brutally, bringing Mark to the edge rather painfully, his whole body twitching and jerking out of the younger's hold as his cum coats Jaebum's hand, as well as the leather cover of the backrest.

Jaebum didn't stop thrusting and pumping Mark, making the older reach for Jaebum's wrist and arm respectively, letting him know that he is oversensitive and it is too much to take.

Of course, Jaebum doesn't listen. He doesn't care for Mark, he doesn't love Mark.

Jaebum grins evilly as he continues torturing Mark with his vicious thrusts and pumps, until he manages to cum once again, filling Mark up with more of his seeds - and Mark is now sobbing and crying out cusses and Jaebum's name loudly as he reaches another mind-numbing peak – his nerves by now are hyper sensitive, his blood singing like live wires and he reacts wildly to every single touch.

Jaebum finally spared him some mercy by pulling out and sitting on the other end of the couch. Mark’s body is still trembling because of the continuous assault on his lithe body, his breaths and cries still loud enough for Jaebum to hear, no matter how hard he tries to keep it as silent as he can.

“The boys are coming soon, you better get cleaned up.” Jaebum says as he stands up and walking straight to his room. Mark didn’t even spare a glance to the younger, this is how their sessions always end up anyway, and he thinks that he will be okay and that he will get used to it, however, he came to realize that he will never ever get used to this. He wanted Jaebum to hold him after sex, whisper sweet nothings to his ear and tell him he loves him, care for him before, during, and after sex – or even without sex, to be honest.

Mark turns around albeit shakily before collapsing on the couch, hugging his rubbery knees towards his chest, with his face buried on his hands, making himself as small as possible, drowning himself with tears and sweat. He can still feel Jaebum’s cum dripping out of his ass and he doesn’t seem to care.

It was all his fault, he thinks to himself. If he didn’t make himself fall for Jaebum, this wouldn’t hurt. If he didn’t desire to be with Jaebum outside sex, this would not be as terrible as it looks.

Because despite Jaebum being a jerk with him, he still loves him, and he is afraid that he always will.

~*~

Chapter Text

~*~

 

Jaebum held Mark's hips as tight as he can as he drops the elder to his cock while he plunges upwards, his hips and Mark's ass meeting halfway, the boy above him already trembling and jerking from the sensations. Mark's cock is dangling in front of him, hitting his own stomach and Jaebum's, the precum leaking out of the tip smearing against their sweat covered-torsos. Mark's hands are bounded behind him, which was something that they never tried before, and Jaebum was secretly admiring how Mark looks extremely good with his grown, red hair framing his face, his lean yet muscled body glistening with sweat, tears, and cum.

"J-Jaebum!" Jaebum almost whined at the cry that the elder let out when he managed to hit his prostate – it was so beautiful and he was lost in the desire of his heart for one single bit, grabbing the elder’s nape with one hand, pushing him against his own body and kissing him for the first time that night. He slides his bottom lip between Mark's pillow-like ones, which is a little dry and chappy, but he doesn't care. He sucks on Mark’s upper lip before tugging it between his teeth with a loud pop. When he pulled away to look at the man above him, Mark's lust-blown and equally dark eyes met his and Jaebum quickly slides his tongue inside Mark's cavern, kissing the living daylights out of him, his fingers pulling at the hairs at the back of Mark's head. Mark groaned against his mouth when his other hand slides in between them, jacking him off while his thrusts remained unforgiving and merciless. It also didn't help that Mark unabashedly and aggressively drops his hips against Jaebum's cock, urging the younger to fuck him faster, faster, and faster.

"Fucking shit." Jaebum pulls at Mark's hair, making the elder cry out loud and Jaebum knows that if he doesn't stop being too close to him, his cold, stern facade that he managed to put up over the last year that he's been sleeping with Mark will totally shatter – and there is no way that he would let that happen.

So Jaebum did what he knows is for the best.

He lifts Mark away from him, causing the older to land on his back heavily against sheets, a loud cry escaping Mark's lips due to the loss of contact – which Jaebum ignored (with too much effort). He moves to the floor by the edge of the bed before pulling both of Mark's ankles towards him. He flips the slightly older male around before removing the bounds on his hands, throwing the cloth somewhere behind him, before prompting Mark on his hands and knees, which the elder did albeit shakily.

"FUCK!" Mark cries out so loud when he smacks his right ass cheek, making him worried that the elder might've scratched his throat badly – but he pushes the thought aside. He quickly plunges his throbbing cock back into Mark's drenched hole, pistoning in and out a maddening, bruising pace.

Jaebum reaches his peak in just a few rough, hard, and hurried thrusts, cumming all over Mark's backside and thighs. He doesn't even give himself time to recuperate from his huge orgasm; he quickly grabs his sweatpants and shirt from the floor – staggering his way out of Mark's room on knocky legs and knees, leaving the older boy on the bed, still on his forearms and knees, forehead leaning against the red, silk sheets and breaths choppy. He is not even sure if Mark managed to cum – he doesn't want to know. His inner self is shouting at him to go back immediately and take care of Mark, make him cum if he hasn’t, clean him up, take a bath with him, perhaps, and cuddle with him on the bed while showering him with sweet kisses, touches, and words.

But he is too much of a coward to do any of that so he slams the door shut, walking his way towards his room, all the while blinking the unsteady tears in his eyes.

 

~*~

 

Jaebum has been hurt before, multiple times. After all the heartbreaks that he experienced in the past, he is determined to not fall in love again, ever.

However, whenever he fucks Mark, whenever he presses harsh, deep kisses against the elder’s lips, neck, and shoulders while his cock is plunging in and out of the redhead’s ever-so-tight hole, he silently wishes that he is making love to him instead.

And that thinking will never lead to something good.

So he blocks his heart, mind, and soul; maintaining his cool facade and not giving in to the passionate desires of his heart, no matter how hard it is.

Do not get attached, shield yourself for any possible heartbreaks, Mark will just hurt you, no matter how good he treats you outside of this, he probably doesn't love you anyway, STOP RIGHT THERE, JAEBUM.

These are some of the phrases that Jaebum keeps chanting to himself whenever he does the dirty deed with the elder.

He just hopes that he can hold on to it until the end.

 

~*~

 

"I'll be moving in at Jackson's place." Mark mumbles one morning at breakfast.

"Why?" Jaebum didn't want to sound rude or accusing at all, but it still came out rude all the same. Mark didn't look at him when he spoke, who was busy putting water on the coffee machine with his back on Jaebum.

"He has two extra rooms and he needs help in the expenses." Mark responds blandly; and Jaebum feels his blood boil without any valid reason (of course with a valid reason that he just doesn't want to admit).

"And he won't ask me? Or Jinyoung? Or Yugyeom? Why you?"

Mark rolls his eyes visibly and Jaebum tried to hold himself back from punching (kissing) him.

"I was the first person he had seen yesterday since we went to the studio together, you guys were still sleeping, and I agreed, I'm just doing our friend a favor, Jaebum." Mark sighs heavily before pouring some newly brewed coffee onto his mug. "Besides, we were more comfortable with each other since we all met, so I guess it's just right to ask me instead of you or anyone else." Mark continued with an emotionless tone in his voice while he puts sugar and cream on his coffee. Jaebum just stares at the white wall in front of him, his vision turning red. The thought of Mark moving out of the dorm hurt him more than he wanted to admit. The very idea of losing Mark and not having him close as he wants him to be makes him angry to the bones.

"W-what about –“ Jaebum licks his lips nervously even though Mark cannot see him.

"What about what?"

US. Jaebum wants to answer but he cannot. He is not in the position to demand anything from Mark. If Mark wants to leave and stay with Jackson, he has every single right to do so; and even Jaebum cannot do or say anything to stop him or disable him.

Unless he confesses; which he won’t do even if he was threatened his life.

What Jaebum doesn't understand (take note, he does) is how much his heart aches just at the thought of Mark leaving the dorm. They will still see each other at the studio, for sure – it’s as if he will lose Mark forever.

Jaebum is just overreacting.

So, again, he did what he thinks he's best at.

"Whatever, Mark. Do whatever in hell you want." Jaebum stands up before kicking on the chair behind him, making it fall on the floor with a loud smack before going straight to his room – of course, since he is Im Jaebum, he slams the door heavily as well.

 

~*~

 

"Was Jaebum mad?" Jackson asks as he and Mark walked together back in the dorm to help Mark with his bag before they go to Jackson's place.

"He kicked the chair and slammed the door – so... I don't know? Maybe?" Mark sighs, taking another sip of his milk tea and Jackson smiled widely.

"He's mad, hyung. He's jealous."

"You wouldn't know, maybe he is just mad that he will lose his fuck toy." Mark sighed, trying to hide his disappointment. Jackson wraps an arm around him, comforting his hyung before pressing a kiss on his temple.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I hope moving out will help you forget about him… I just also hope that this won’t change anything in our group…” Jackson says and Marks smiles at the younger.

“Don’t worry – Jackson. Jaebum is still a friend and our leader after all, I won’t let it get in the way to our success, for sure.”

What they don’t know, from a distance, Jaebum is bearing deep holes on both of their backs, which didn’t go unnoticed by Jinyoung (the younger just seems to know everything at some point).

“Hyung, if looks can kill, Jackson is a dead meat by now.”

Jinyoung just manages to get away by a hair thread – running as fast as he can towards the front door before Jaebum can snap his neck.

Jaebum is not jealous. At all. (The truth: He is extremely jealous he wants to snap Jackson’s neck too after he had managed to snap Jinyoung’s for pointing it out).

 

~*~

 

“So you’re really leaving without even saying good bye?” Mark stops on his tracks as he grabs his shoes from the rack, the only one remaining in the stack because the rest were already sent to his new room at Jackson’s place.

“I – I thought you’re all sleeping.” Mark mumbles, slowly turning his body around to face the younger, who is clad in his oversized red hoodie that they use to share, but somehow made its way permanently in the younger’s closet.

“Obviously I wasn’t.” Jaebum grunts, ruffling his slightly wet hair from his shower as he nestles the mug of tea on his other hand. Mark bites his lower lip as he grips the strap of his back pack.

“Why are you still up though?” Mark asks; carefully leaning against the wall behind him, looking anywhere but the younger.

“I can’t sleep.” Jaebum says before dropping the mug on the coffee table, slowly making his way towards the front door where Mark is.

“I –“ Jaebum started – but he doesn’t know what to say to the elder. Well, he knows, but he doesn’t know how, if that makes sense. Mark turns his head to look at him and waits; wishing for the younger to stop him from leaving. The scent of Jaebum’s signature shower gel on the younger’s body is also not helping him.

“A-are we still… you know… the thing we had agreed on before?” Jaebum begins and Mark resisted the urge to roll his eyes, of course, Jaebum would ask that.

“I don’t know, Jaebum. I am not sure if I still want to…” Jaebum tried his hardest not to flinch at the finality in Mark’s words.

“Y-you mean – we –“ If Mark is surprised at how Jaebum sounded confused and shy and not cold and stern like earlier (or usual), he didn’t show it.

“I think we should stop, Jaebum. I-it’s not… really ideal to continue doing it knowing that we are good friends and groupmates, it might… cause some complications in the future, you know what I mean.” Mark says and Jaebum was stunned.

He won’t be able to touch Mark in that way anymore. He won’t be able to feel the softness of Mark’s pale skin as well as his lithe, yet strong body against his.

Instead of panicking and overthinking the whole thing, he did what he thinks is right and just.

“I was actually about to suggest the same thing – since you won’t be here anymore anyway… And we might just see each other for schedules and practices.” Jaebum laughs but it didn’t reach his eyes. He wonders if Mark notices that it was just fake. But with how Mark is smiling at him and nodding, he knows that he didn’t notice.

“I will see you tomorrow at the studio then, Jaebum?” Mark says as he pats the younger’s back before turning around, putting on his shoes and stepping out of the front door without glancing back at the already shaking Jaebum.

That night, Jaebum curled on his small bed, already missing the warmth of Mark’s larger bed and his scent that seems to be tattooed heavily on the sheets.

This is for the better, Jaebum. He chants repeatedly, until he passes out because of exhaustion, with Mark’s name slipping out of his lips.

~*~

Chapter Text

~*~

“Hyung, you’ve been giggling and smiling like a fool for the last 30 minutes; what’s up with you?” Youngjae cannot help but comment, Mark has been surprisingly happy this day, actually, for the last week, or maybe a little more than that. It’s been about three weeks since he moved out of the dorm, and the younger boys have noticed the change in their mat-hyung’s mood.

“He’s been talking –“ Jackson faked a cough. “Flirting – with Changbum – finally, after months of knowing each other.” There was a collective gasp from the younger members of the group, the most dramatic one will be Bambam’s, and the 2nd runner up will be the person who initially asked the question.

“OMG I thought you don’t like him, hyung?” Yugyeom asked this time, thinking if he had remembered clearly that Mark mentioned before that he is just friends with him and is not interested in dating the younger idol.

“Well, let’s just say that I had a change of heart.” Mark smiles widely, the smile that showcases his gorgeous teeth and the room was filled with more awws, ooohhhs, and squeals.

“Mark-hyung had went out with him last Sunday before our shoot, actually.” Jinyoung butts in with a smirk – and it doesn’t (it does) have anything to do with the fact that Jaebum is poking (killing) his chicken chops as he listens to the conversation.

Mark obviously blushed and Jackson shook him by the shoulder and Youngjae, who was also next to him, demanded more details and sneakily peeking on Mark’s phone to see what him and the younger boy was talking about. Bambam and Yugyeom seconded Youngjae’s question – and Mark bit his lip before pouting slightly, trying to remember how the date went.

“It was… fun. We just had coffee at the café near the photoshoot location. We talked about a lot of stuff, I enjoyed his company a lot. I should have considered going out with him way back.” The shouts of joy and teasing only became louder this time and Jaebum can feel the veins on his temple beating and pumping blood at a furious pace. Jinyoung’s smirk widened even more as he crosses his arms on his chest, eye-ing their leader while shaking his head.

“So, what else did you guys do apart from talking, Mark-hyung?” Bambam wiggles his thick eyebrows suggestively before jutting his already pouty lips, bringing Mark to a fit of loud giggles.

“Hmmm…” Mark pressed his lips together and Jackson side-glanced at Jaebum, who stopped killing the poor chicken chops in his plastic bowl, and just sitting there stiffly, his head bowed but he knows that the elder’s ears are perked up and he smiled further, nudging Mark silently to continue.

“I kissed him on the cheek when we’re about to part wa–“

“Yah!!”

A loud, angry voice boomed and reverberated across the four corners of their practice room, followed by a thump of heavy feet against the wooden, polished floor.

“Practice is going to start soon – stop talking about… senseless stuff that’s not related to work!” Jaebum groaned loudly – not looking at anyone in particular before picking up his empty bowl and bottled water, making his way out of the practice room, and, as always, banging the door heavily, which made the younger boys flinch.

Everyone was dumbstruck with how Jaebum had reacted the last few seconds, Youngjae has his noodle stuck between his lips, while Bambam had managed to leap on Yugyeom’s lap while clinging on to the younger’s arm, all of their eyes stuck on the closed door. Jackson and Jinyoung, on the other hand, just smiled wickedly and made eye contact, as if they know what the other is thinking just by looking at each other.

Mark is just… speechless, his heart pounding hard in his chest. Jackson placed a hand on his shoulder and he managed to calm a bit, meeting the younger’s knowing gaze.

Is Im Jaebum really jealous now? Is the plan that him and Jackson (with Jinyoung too, apparently) really working?

 

~*~

 

Mark finally left the studio, alone. The rest left a little earlier than him since he wasn’t satisfied with the song he was composing, so he decided to stay a little longer.

He was walking down the hallway towards the elevator doors while fixing his headphones where the wires got tangled when he heard moans and giggles from not too far away.

Oh.

He thought everyone had already left so he raised both of his brows in confusion. Judging by the muffled sounds, he is sure that it’s a boy and girl doing something lewd. When the giggling stopped, Mark rolls his eyes and continued walking, plugging in his earphones – maximizing the volume so that he won’t be hearing anymore unwelcomed sounds from whoever is making out in the dark hallway.

Since Drake was busting loudly on both of his ears, he hasn’t realized that the sounds grew louder as he approaches his destination. Hence, he almost lost balance when he abruptly stopped on his tracks after he saw two people at the corner of the wall opposite the elevators. He was right, it was a boy and a girl – but what made his heart do flips is because the boy is no other than Im Jaebum – the boy whom he had told lies about him dating another guy to make him jealous.

Jaebum has the girl (who happened to be one of the trainees) on her back against the wall, legs around his strong, flexible hips, their lips connected in a deep kiss. The girl’s hands are on top of Jaebum’s wide, broad shoulders (which Mark admires from him so, so much) and Mark feels his blood boil; his eyes seeing green and he tightens the already taut grip he has on the strap of his backpack. Even before the couple can notice his presence, he quickly turned around, walking away; thinking that using the stairs might be a better idea at this point.

For the entire walk home – Mark repeatedly told himself that he will not cry, despite the heaviness in his chest and the ache in his heart. He doesn’t cry, even after he had showered and went to bed, which he was extremely proud of, but he cannot seem to sleep – the image of the two haunting him whenever he closes his eyes.

Maybe Jaebum doesn’t really like me, Jackson and Jinyoung were wrong, after all.

Mark finally fell asleep due to exhaustion and lack of other things to do, thoughts of Jaebum filling his brain.

 

~*~

 

“What??” Bambam squeaked when Jinyoung once again broadcasted to everyone that Mark is going on now their third date with Changbum (Jackson told him that this is them stepping up his game) two weeks after they announced the he and younger idol had started flirting.

“Hyung, third date already?? OMGGGG!” Yugyeom danced comically and Youngjae joined him.

“When will it be, hyung?” Youngjae asked enthusiastically.

“The day after tomorrow – since it’s my rest day. He will pick me up from the house before noon.” Mark smiles and the rest started to squeal and clap their hands together like drugged seals.

“So, is it official yet?” Jackson wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Mark gave him a warm smile.

“We will decide by then, actually if we want to… officially date.” Mark giggles and Jackson, along with the maknaes gathered around Mark and gave him playful hugs and shoves, shouting incoherent words between the lines of “I’m so jealous” or “I’m so happy for you hyung” or just simply squeals and laughs and shouts.

Mark pushed them all away with loud giggles and they all returned to their previous places. Jaebum, on the other hand, glared at the screen in front of him, wanted nothing but to throw a punch at the screen in front of him, or to throw the mouse he’s holding to Mark.

“Hyung –“ Jinyoung whispered at Jaebum’s ear and the older gasped in shock, glaring at the culprit before turning his attention back at the computer.

“Please don’t destroy the computer; it will take a while to get a replacement.” Jinyoung smirks at the angry look in Jaebum’s face and flies to the other side of the room when Jaebum threatened to punch his beautiful face.

 

~*~

 

“So, hyung…” Bambam smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at Mark and the older felt himself blush – he knows what the little shit has in mind. He looked around and saw Jaebum glaring at Jinyoung’s smiling form before turning his attention back to the computer, with his jaw still jutted out. Mark barely managed to hear the younger so he asked him to repeat what he had said.

“Are you ready for the third base with Changbum? You know…” Bambam says before gesturing with his mouth and hands lewdly – making loud, popping, and sucking sounds with his filthy mouth and Mark cannot help but squeal and attempted to push the younger, but a Snorlax plushie came flying from across the room all of a sudden, hitting the center of Bambam’s face, making the boy fall on his back on the floor with a thud.

“Aww! Jaebum-hyung! What was that for???” Bambam complained while rubbing his forehead and nose that took the impact of the stuffed toy.

“Shut the fuck up, Bam-ah. If I hear any annoying sounds from you again you’re dead.” Jaebum glares at the younger before glancing at Mark, the younger’s eyes burning holes on him before turning back to the computer.

Mark thinks that he’s gonna go crazy.

 

~*~

 

Mark doesn’t know how he ended up being in the same room with Jaebum alone that night.

Apparently, Jaebum wanted him to actually sing again on their next song, kind of like how he sang his part beautifully on their Japanese song, Stay. Jaebum acted normal, just like how he always was whenever they do work. Mark, on the other hand, has been thinking about the incident in the hallway yesterday night since he realized that he is definitely alone with Jaebum in their studio. He is distracted, fidgeting with the pencil, his phone, and the paper clips at the table, anything that his hand can reach, basically.

“Are you okay? You seem distracted.” Jaebum notices and Mark quickly shakes his head, choosing not to respond to the younger’s question, instead asking the younger if he can take a break – which Jaebum agreed on and said that they’re wrapping up soon anyway.

When Mark came back around 10 minutes later, Jaebum was already crowding him against the door, his wider, broader frame blocking his significantly smaller form and Mark is sure that his brain is going to short circuit.

“J-Jaebum – what are you doing?” Mark laid his hands flat against the door behind him as Jaebum places both of his hands on either side of his face, just above his shoulders. Jaebum’s face is too close for his liking and he gulps the lump in his throat – hoping that Jaebum wouldn’t notice how his body is starting to tremble because of the distance between their faces and bodies.

“Do you not miss me, hyung?” Jaebum says against his ear with his voice laced with lust and honey and Mark closes his mouth to stop the whimper that was about to escape his lips. Jaebum nuzzled Mark’s cheek with his nose, his lips lightly brushing on the side of his jaw and Mark is close to hyperventilating.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bum-ah.” Mark gathered enough strength to place one hand on top of Jaebum’s chest, pushing him to create a small distance between them, which made Jaebum laugh lowly.

“Are you sure about that, hyung? Because, I actually miss you…” Jaebum grabs the hand on his chest, intertwining their fingers together before lifting Mark’s chin with his head, the younger’s mouth hovering on the base of Mark’s throat and Mark tightened his hold on Jaebum’s hand to stop himself from losing control. He wanted to bring up the make out incident that he saw last night, but he is afraid that the younger might use it against him, making him gain the upper hand so he just continued pushing Jaebum away from him, which he is failing to do so big time.

“I miss the feeling of you around me… How tight you are no matter how hard I fuck into you…” Jaebum presses an open mouthed kiss against Mark’s neck and Mark bites his lower lip so hard that he knows will surely draw blood soon.

“Come on, hyung… we can go back to how it all was, right? Changbum is just a baby, I am sure he won’t be able to fuck you like I do.” Jaebum bringing Changbum up all of a sudden made Mark think that he might not like the idea of him seeing the younger idol – but he shakes his head, brushing the thoughts away, this is not how he would like it to be. He wanted to say something, anything, but his throat is constricted, especially now that Jaebum is pressing small kisses on his neck.

“Do you not miss having a cock inside your ass, hyung? I know how much you love that, I remember how tight you clenched around me when I called you a whore… Did you not enjoy how we were fucking like crazy maniacs before? Why don’t we give that another shot, yeah?” Mark suddenly felt a hot, blazing rage course through his limbs towards his heart, so it’s still what he wants, he hasn’t changed one single bit.

Mark suddenly pushes Jaebum by his chest with a force that he haven’t used against the younger, ever. Jaebum stumbled a few steps back, obviously surprised with how Mark reacted to his words. Mark, on the other hand, was panting heavily, tears started to pool beneath his eyelids and without hesitation, brings one of his hands up and punches Jaebum, hard, the sound vibrating loudly and heavily against the small studio – ringing against both men’s ears, the younger boy stumbling and losing his balance due to the intensity of the blow.

“Fuck you – Jaebum. Fuck you.” Mark spits without mercy and with so much venom that made Jaebum flinch – realization that he had hurt Mark hitting him like a freight truck. Even before he can reach out for Mark to properly apologize for everything that he had said and done, he’s already too late.

“Hyung –“

“Don’t.” Mark says, holding a hand in front of Jaebum, who is obviously trying to fight back the tears that are about to escape his red-rimmed and tired eyes.

“Leave me the fuck alone, Jaebum.” Mark spits with equal fire that matches the turmoil in his heart before grabbing his bag, opening the door and sprinting outside without turning back, closing the door with a loud bang, just like how Jaebum did the first time Mark had brought Changbum up.

Once the door closes in front of Jaebum, it finally dawned on him on how much he loves Mark – how stupid and how much of an asshole he had been the past year for hurting him and treating him like he was just a sex toy, well in fact he never wanted to do that in the first place.

Jaebum collapsed on the floor clutching his chest; the pain in his bleeding lip and gums nothing in comparison to the pain in his heart.

“I’m sorry… Mark…” Jaebum finally said in between sobs – too bad Mark cannot hear it anymore.

 

~*~

 

Chapter Text

~*~

“Did he bleed?” Jackson asks as he applies some disinfectant on Mark’s knuckles, making the older flinch involuntarily. Jackson looks up to gauge Mark’s reaction worriedly.

“I – I don’t know, I went out of the room immediately after punching him.” Jackson nods before grabbing some ointment from the medicine kit on the bedside table.

“He better; he deserves it. Also, looking at your knuckles, you sure had hit him hard. I just hope that it can be covered by make up or something if it’s on his face.” Jackson murmurs as he began rubbing the ointment at Mark’s fresh wound and the older cannot help but close his eyes in frustration.

“I’ll be in big trouble. Fuck.” He groans and Jackson shakes his head – who is now wrapping Mark’s hand with some bandage to prevent the red head’s hand from swelling.

“That should help with the swelling and should be a little better tomorrow. You’re on off tomorrow, right?”

“Nah – unfortunately. They said that we need to practice ASAP for this new song and they’ll just give me 2 days off next week.” Mark sighs before opening and closing his fist – testing the bandage’s fitment. Jackson just stares at Mark before shaking his head a little.

“Why does Jaebum have to be a fucking asshole to you though? Like, what the actual fuck? Is he blind or something? Can he not tell what you feel about him?” Jackson sat next to Mark at the edge of the bed and Mark sighs, leaning his head against his best friend’s shoulder.

“I’m sure he hasn’t. He’s too blind and a douche to understand feelings.” Mark rubs his face impatiently with his uninjured hand.

Jackson also sighs in defeat, all the while thinking how stupid the slightly older boy is. He can tell that he likes Mark but he is just too stubborn to realize and admit to himself.

He just hopes that Jaebum realizes it before it’s too late.

“It’s getting late, hyung – get some rest.”

 

~*~

 

Fuck – Jinyoung – can you be a little gentler?” Jaebum growls silently so that Yugyeom, who’s sleeping soundly two doors apart, won’t be able to hear him.

“Hyung – your lip is broken, you’re literally bleeding when you got here. No matter how gentle I am – it’s still going to hurt like hell.” Jinyoung rolls his eyes before applying more disinfectant on Jaebum’s lip with a little more pressure which made Jaebum glare at the younger.

“You didn’t knock a few teeth – did you?” Jinyoung asks sincerely and Jaebum shakes his head.

“My gums bled for a while, but my teeth are still intact.” Jaebum says; flinching a little when Jinyoung continues to treat his lip.

“Lucky you. I’m sure Mark-hyung had hit you really hard.” Jinyoung mutters before standing up, disposing the cotton swabs and paper wrappers on the bin next to his bed before sitting on the chair in front of Jaebum.

“What did you do to make him that mad, hyung?” Jinyoung asks while looking at Jaebum straight in the eye.

“It’s none of your bus–“

“Hyung!” Jinyoung shouted and Jaebum stares at him dumbstruck. “I know what you and Mark-hyung have been up to for the last year. I know your little secret.” Jinyoung says calmly, one of his hands landing on Jaebum’s knee.

“H-how did you –“

“I saw you leaving Mark-hyung’s room quite a few times late at night. I didn’t see what you’re doing but I just know. And you didn’t deny it, so I guess it’s true.”

“You do not know what I’m about to say –“

“Cut the crap – hyung. I know that you know what I mean.” Jinyoung says sternly, which made the older boy speechless, his eyes blinking while running his fingers against his hair impatiently.

“You like Mark-hyung, don’t you?” Jaebum closes his eyes before dropping his back on Jinyoung’s bed with a thud, spreading his arms wide on either side of him. He stares at the ceiling, releasing a harsh breath before nodding his head and Jinyoung smirks; shaking his head – which his hyung didn’t see.

“Is that the reason why you’re treating him like shit?” Jaebum lifts his head to glare at the younger, but Jinyoung just crosses his arms on his chest before raising an eyebrow at him. Jaebum rolls his eyes before dropping his head back on the sheets.

“You know what I’ve been through – Jinyoung –“

“But that doesn’t give you any valid reason to hurt him – hyung.” Jinyoung stands up before lying next to Jaebum, making sure that the stubborn boy listens and not brush him off. He holds Jaebum’s hand, staring up to him and Jaebum tried to pull his hand back, but the younger didn’t budge.

“I know you’ve been hurt before; but that doesn’t give you any license or right to hurt others. Not all people are the same. How certain are you that Mark-hyung is like them?” Jinyoung asks and Jaebum shakes his head.

“You wouldn’t know, Jinyoung. I don’t – I don’t want to risk it; it’s painful –“

“And you’re not hurting now?” Jinyoung says mockingly, Jaebum faces him, about to retaliate but Jinyoung isn’t done yet.

“Aren’t you hurting for the last few months for sleeping with Mark where we both know for sure that you wanted to do something more than that? More than just fucking, for the lack of a better term.” Jinyoung squeezes Jaebum’s hand and the older closes his eyes in defeat.

“He hates me now, it doesn’t even matter.” Jaebum sits up from the bed – but Jinyoung pulls him back right away. Jaebum groans in pain but Jinyoung just leaned in closer to stare at Jaebum.

“Hyung – just man the fuck up, for once.” Jinyoung hisses and Jaebum looks at him shell-shocked.

“Jinyoung – I don’t think I agreed to you talking down at me like that!” Jaebum growls and Jinyoung rolls his eyes at Jaebum before standing up and grabbing a book from his shelf; lying on the side of his bed, Jaebum’s head next to his hip.

“Better get your shit together before it’s too late.”

 

~*~

 

“Good morn– oh – hyung! What happened to your lip?” Youngjae asks as he approaches Jaebum, who’s wearing his bucket hat to try hiding his face, but who is he to fool?

“OH. Mark-hyung, you’ve injured your hand?” It’s Yugyeom’s turn to ask Mark who just entered the room with Jackson in tow a few minutes later. Jaebum sits at the corner of the practice room and spared a small glance at the older before turning back to his phone.

“I accidently slipped and used my hand to keep myself from falling, hence my hand took impact.” Mark says coolly, shrugging the worried looks of the younger boys.

“Oh, okay. Jaebum hyung is injured too, his lip his sore – will you not be in trouble with that, hyung? It will be a little hard to cover –“

“It’s alright, Youngjae-yah. Just get yourselves ready for practice while I prepare the music.” Jaebum says, moving towards the control area to arrange the songs while they’re waiting for their choreographer.

Mark lifts his head to stare at the younger and he hissed internally. Jaebum’s lip is not only sore, but it’s swollen and bulging a little. What reason could the younger give to the noonas if they ask him?

“If we’re not friends and groupmates I will assume that Mark-hyung punched Jaebum-hyung because of the crazy coincidence.” Bambam laughs, making Yugyeom and Youngjae join him. Jackson stares at Mark while Jinyoung looks at Jaebum, the other two meeting each other’s gazes briefly before going back to what they’re doing.

“That’s ridiculous. Why did you even think about that?” Jackson butts in before tackling the younger boy and the rooms began to fill with cries of help (from Bambam) and laughter from Yugyeom and Youngjae, but it still didn’t manage to break the invisible wall that separates the two oldest members of the group.

 

~*~

 

A few days after the incident, the maknaes still seem oblivious to Mark and Jaebum’s fight. The eldest members managed to be civil in front of them, laughing and joining in to the conversation when needed. Jaebum’s lip hasn’t healed completely but it’s not swollen anymore, so it isn’t that obvious. On the other hand, Mark is not wearing any bandage anymore, but the bruise is still present on his knuckles.

Their practice went really well that morning so Jaebum treated everyone take out dinner to show his gratitude because he was able to nap that afternoon. The maknaes were ecstatic and Jackson joined in, so that they won’t be suspicious that he is a little angry at the leader. The night was spent fruitfully after dinner by them writing / composing songs, or just talking to each other in general.

A few hours later, Mark decided to breathe in some fresh air by going up to the rooftop before resuming polishing the songs that they’d written. When he stepped out of the room, he didn’t expect to see Jaebum there – his back resting against the wall with one of his feet lifted and rested on the wall behind him. He looked up when he saw Mark, moving to stand straight and brush the invisible dirt on his pants.

Mark bows his head a little before walking past the younger – until he felt the all-too familiar touch at the crook of his elbow.

“Mark.” Jaebum’s voice sounded light, but with lingering sadness as he grips the elder’s elbow with gentleness that Mark would never want to believe is actually happening.

“Let me go, Jaebum.” He mumbles without looking at the younger, looking straight ahead but not really seeing anything.

“Just – just listen to me.” Jaebum says, nudging closer but Mark was quick to move away, shrugging out of Jaebum’s hold before walking a few steps to the right against the other wall.

“I don’t want to. J-just let me go, please.” Mark bows his head and attempted to walk again, but Jaebum was suddenly in front of him.

“I promise I won’t hurt you, or say anything that you wouldn’t like, just please let me clear things up and apol–“

“Mark?” Mark sighs in relief and lifted his head high to find Jackson. The younger walked briskly to reach where his hyungs are; standing next to the redhead before grabbing his hand, which Jaebum is looking at with his not-so-amused face.

“Where do you want to go? Rooftop? I’ll take you the–“

“Jackson–“ Jaebum stares at the younger boy. “I need to talk to Mark, just give us a second.”

“He doesn’t look like he wants to talk to you though, he actually looks really scared of you...” Jackson spits before stepping in front of Mark, their hands still intertwined. “I wonder why…” Jackson continues and Jaebum’s hands that are on either side of him are now balled into tight fists, his jaw slacking at the sarcastic tone in the younger’s voice.

“Stay out of this, Jacks. Leave me and Mark alone.” Jaebum growls but Jackson stood his ground, clearly not backing down from the seething glare that the slightly older male is giving him.

“I don’t want to. I will take Mark with me and will never leave him alone with you again.” Jaebum’s eyes widened at the sternness in Jackson’s voice, as well as the finger that he had laid on his chest twice.

“Did you just fucking pointed at me, twice?” Jaebum felt his patience snap with all this protective act Jackson is displaying for Mark. The redhead panicked; afraid that this is going to be a start of a fist fight and that shouldn’t happen; not when the maknaes are about to go back from the store to buy ramen.

“Yes, I did, what are you going to do about that, huh, hyung?” Jackson, who is also as stubborn as a bull, didn’t budge when Mark tried to pull him away and beg for him to stop and just to get the hell out of there.

“Get out of my face, Jackson, before I do something you would regret.” Jaebum grumbles; now staring at Mark who had kept a tight hold around Jackson’s shoulders.

“Jackson, stop, let’s just go up, please.” Mark tried to convince Jackson, whose body went slack (thank God) and he nods to acknowledge what his hyung said, but his smoldering glare at Jaebum is unfazed.

“Mark! Did I not tell you that I want to talk?” Jaebum snarls impatiently which made Mark look at him in shock.

“And I answered you that I don’t want to, right? Let’s go, Jackson, just leave him alone.” Mark turns Jackson around before shooting one last look at Jaebum; turning on his heels to leave, but Jaebum is quick to stop them, stepping in between him and Jackson, before pulling Mark into a tight hug.

“Mark, hyung, please…” Jaebum begs and Mark swallows hardly with how wrecked Jaebum’s voice is.

“Hyung –“ Jaebum repeated as he clings on to Mark tightly, burying his face against the crook of the elder’s neck.

“I’m sorry.”

Mark suddenly forgot how to breathe. Did Jaebum just… apologized?

“I was a jerk for hurting you for so long, I’m really, really sorry.” Jaebum continued and Mark cannot believe any of this is happening. He wanted to believe him – wanted to tell himself that Jaebum is finally apologizing and he might confess his true feelings.

However, his defense mechanism gets the most out of him and even before Jaebum can continue, he pushes him away and Jackson was instantly in between them – pushing Jaebum harder, making the leader’s back hit the wall behind him with a loud thud, sparking the leader’s anger even more. Mark became a little worried for a second, remembering Jaebum’s insistent back injury. However, he wasn’t given much time to think about it when Jaebum suddenly lunges at Jackson, grabbing the collars of the younger boy’s tight shirt, turning both of them around to push Jackson hard against the wall where he was pushed earlier. Jaebum’s grip is dead tight against Jackson’s collar, slightly lifting the younger from the wall and Jackson clutches Jaebum’s shoulders, both of their stares hard and burning with anger.

“What the fuck!” Mark was snapped out of his trance when Jinyoung came, immediately pushing in between the two raging boys, where he struggled at first.

“G-get away from each other, god damn it!” Jinyoung yells, startling the two and they both pulled away reluctantly, Jinyoung immediately wraps both of his arms around Jaebum’s waist, pulling him as far as he can from Jackson and Mark abruptly went to Jackson’s side, wrapping his arms around his chest, stopping him from running after Jaebum.

“Fuck, hyung, just stop!” Jinyoung tightens his hold around Jaebum when he attempted to pull away to, maybe, punch Jackson straight on the face or pull Mark away and take him far away from the younger brunette.

“Jackson, let’s go, please.” Mark pleads and Jackson lets out a heavy sigh, allowing himself to be guided by Mark towards the hallway.

“M-Mark hyung! Please!” Jaebum shouts but Mark didn’t look back – he just continued walking with Jackson until they reach the end of the hallway towards the stairs.

“Let me go, Jinyoung!”

“Jaebum-hyung!” Jinyoung turns Jaebum around and grabs his face. “Not now, alright? Give it time, he is not ready, he’s still mad at you, right?” His hands lower to massage Jaebum’s tensed shoulders, the elder’s head dropping in frustration, cursing at himself repeatedly.

Until when can Jaebum hold this in?

 

~*~

Chapter Text

~*~

Mark tossed and turned on his bed— finding it hard to sleep at night since that incident.

Jaebum apologized.

He said he was sorry.

The particular look on the younger’s face had been plaguing him every night, as well as his pleading voice, asking, or rather, begging for Mark to listen to him or talk him. He doesn’t know what to make out of the apologies that the younger had suddenly thrown at him that night, but he cannot deny that he has been dying to know himself.

However, the events of the night when he punched Jaebum terrified Mark to the bone, he was still hurt and he cannot help but think that if he had fallen for Jaebum’s trap again, he will be the most stupid person on earth. He had had enough of the younger’s games and his failure to notice that it’s not just sex for him anymore, that he needs and wants more than that.

Mark shakes his head before lifting the blanket up to his chin and burying his face against his fluffy pillows, praying that sleep comes and lets him rest for the rest of the night.

~*~

“Hyung—“

“I am okay! I can drink more!” Jaebum grunts, pushing at Jinyoung’s hand that the younger had laid on his wrist when he’s about to pour more soju on his beer.

“You’re drunk, hyung, let’s get you to be—“

“Fuck— did you not hear what I said? Fuck off, Jinyoung, I can handle myself just right. Just go back to your room. And you too, Yugyeom. Stop bothering me.” Jaebum rumbles and Jinyoung closed his eyes in frustration before letting out a huge sigh, while their maknae is by the door— scratching the back of his neck, confused and worried as to why Jaebum wanted to get drunk inside Mark’s old room, but didn’t dare to ask anyone anything.

“Fine. Just make sure to sleep after you drink. Aish such a stubborn pain in the ass.” Jinyoung mumbles silently before approaching Yugyeom and leading him out of the room. Jaebum had heard Jinyoung curse at him, but he didn’t care, he continued drinking the shot in his glass and he grimaced at the bitter taste— but smiled when he realized how his head begins to relax a bit.

He looks around Mark’s old room and sighs heavily. It is empty; apart from the elder’s old closet by the door, and the small shelf near the window, where his bed was situated before. He had noticed there are a few books and magazines, as well as picture frames there. He haven’t been inside Mark’s room since he left so he didn’t know that he had left a few stuff in his old room.

Jaebum stood up a little too quickly so he struggled to keep himself at his feet, though, with just a few shakes of his head, he had regained his balance but he still wobbled all the way to the shelf, the alcohol mixing with his blood and running heavily against his veins.

Jaebum scanned the items on the shelf one by one, nothing seems to be interesting enough for him, just some old Korean books and old photos of Mark. When he’s about to go back to where he was sitting earlier, his eyes caught a photo frame that has been dropped face first. Curiosity filled Jaebum’s brain and he reached out to lift the photo frame and his eyes widened.

It was a photo of him and Mark back in their trainee days; Mark has his arm wrapped around Jaebum’s shoulders while Jaebum held the elder’s wrist. Mark looks so cute with a lollipop stuck inside his mouth as well as his puffy eyes. This was one of those times where Mark was joggling between dance and martial arts practices, singing, and Korean studies, so he always lacks sleep, but still cheerful, his smiles bright and lovely as it will ever be.

Jaebum cannot stop the tears that had fallen from his eyes, hoping and wishing he can just go back to how it was before, with just him and Mark being best friends. He messed their beautiful friendship the moment he fucked Mark when the stress of being the group’s leader had consumed him whole.

He shouldn’t have done what he did, or, rather, he should’ve been more honest on what he truly feels.

Jaebum walks back to the center of the room and he accidentally drop the photo frame he was clutching tightly. Good thing the glass didn’t break, but the photo slipped out of the frame and landed on the floor face first. Jaebum stared at the supposedly white surface at the back of the photo, when he noticed that there are a few words scribbled at the back. He quickly picked it up and read the hangul letters that were poorly written on it.

“My best friend, Jaebum. Saranghae!”

 

~*~

 

Loud, continuous, and heavy banging and knocking on the front door, as well as multiple sounds of the doorbell knock Mark out of his restless sleep. He opened his eyes slowly, reaching to grab his phone from the bed side table.

1:31 AM.

Who in hell will come knocking at his door at this hour? Jackson is out in China for his solo promotions— and if ever it was him, he is 100% sure that Jackson won’t forget their passcode as well, so, who could this be?

Mark steps out of his bed reluctantly and he hissed when the knocking resumed and it was becoming really loud and annoying — along with a few muffled shouts that he cannot hear because his room is a little far from the door.

“Jesus Christ give me a second!” He attempted to shout but he’s not sure if it’s louder than his usual speaking voice. Mark gets out of the room and approached the living room when he suddenly stopped when he was able to finally recognize who was on the other side of the door.

“Mark— Mark— I know you’re in there— I want to talk to you, please let me in.”

Mark was frozen in place.

”Jaebum?” He asks reluctantly, trying to make his voice a little louder for the person outside to hear.

“Mark? Is that you? Mark!! Yes, it’s me. God… I miss you. I wanna see you. Please let me in… hyung…” Jaebum says and Mark realizes that his voice is a little slurred and his pronunciations are a little off; so he is sure that the younger is either too tired or too drunk, so he didn’t give it much thought; he sprinted towards the front door and unlocked it without any second thoughts.

Mark felt his heart break upon seeing the younger.

Jaebum is clearly drunk, and for goodness sake it’s freaking cold outside but he is only wearing a plain, white t-shirt and his pajamas, his shoes are even mismatched. The younger is shaking and chilling because of his thin clothing against the cold winter night air, but his eyes are seemed focused on him as soon as he opened the door.

“Mark—“

“Jesus Christ Jaebum why are you—“ Mark was cut off when Jaebum drops his whole body against his, his icy cold arms wrapping around his waist, burying his face in the crook of Mark’s neck, making Mark shiver on how cold Jaebum is; he must’ve been out in the cold for a while.

“Jaebum, you’re so cold; come on, let’s go inside—“

“Hyung—“ Jaebum started sobbing, his whole body trembling against Mark’s, cutting the older off. “I’m really sorry….” He pushes Mark closer and breathes in the elder’s familiar and comforting scent. “I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want you mad at me, please forgive me for everything that I did wrong…”

“Jaebum—“

“I love you.”

Oh.

Mark obviously isn’t expecting that.

“I love you so much, hyung. I was a fool for not telling you before, I love you so much that I was afraid I might…” Jaebum stops as his breath hitched with how hard he is crying. “I might get hurt if I let it get in the way so I hurt you, because I thought that was the best thing to do but…”

All of other Jaebum’s rant went pass Mark’s selective hearing.

Jaebum just said he loves him.

Is this even real?

Mark can feel tears brimming beneath his lids; it must be true, right? Jaebum really said it, right?

“I love you, hyung…”
Jaebum repeated against his neck as he rocks the two of them back and forth and Mark feels like he’s going to choke because of how hard he is trying to stop himself from crying out loud because of the overwhelming feeling in his chest.

However, he really did smell the strong scent of alcohol from Jaebum now that they’re so close to each other and Jaebum doesn’t stop talking and crying.

He’s drunk.

He’s drunk and he doesn’t know what he’s saying.

Yes, that’s right.

Mark chooses to ignore the sinking and heavy feeling on his stomach at the fact that Jaebum may not be aware of what he’s blurting out or what he’s doing exactly. He might not even remember how he got there.

But, don’t drunken minds speak sober hearts?

“Jaebum.” Mark chooses to blink his tears away and pushes the hopeful feeling in his chest, pulling Jaebum’s face away from his neck to make him look at him. “Let’s talk inside, okay? It’s cold here and you’re not wearing anything that can fight the cold. Let’s get inside and let’s talk, alright?” He says as Jaebum continues to cry, but he nods eagerly and Mark smiles, wiping the tears on Jaebum’s face with his palm; yet he was caught off guard when Jaebum grabs it before placing a light kiss on the inside of his wrist.

“I always admire your hands, hyung…” Jaebum smiles before placing another kiss on his palm and Mark tried his hardest to not blush at the intimacy, the butterflies in his stomach are doing somersaults at this point when clearly they shouldn’t because he really needs to get inside with Jaebum. He tried to pull his hand away but Jaebum kept a tight hold on it even after they had stepped inside his and Jackson’s shared apartment.

Mark shut the door close behind him and Jaebum stumbles on the wall next to him, good thing he’s not letting go of Mark’s hand because, if not, he would have fallen on the floor face first.

“Jaebum, sit down here.” Mark guides the younger to sit on the small chair next to him and the younger complied. He tried pulling his hand out of the younger’s hold but Jaebum just shakes his head.

“Don’t let me go…” He whined before jutting his bottom lip out. Mark fought the urge to smile because of how cute the younger looks— for sure Jaebum will curse himself out for acting cute in situations like this.

“I need both hands to take your shoes off, Bummie.” He looks at the younger and Jaebum just huffs, clearly unamused but still followed— this time Mark didn’t hide the wide smile on his face as he takes off Jaebum’s mismatched sneaks.

“Come on, I’ll get you a jacket and make some tea.” He gestures for the younger to stand up and Mark smiles again when Jaebum stretches his arm before him and started wiggling his fingers. Mark just rolled his eyes but took Jaebum’s hand, and the younger intertwined it with his and hold on tight. They walk towards the living room with Mark supporting most of the younger’s weight, Jaebum is still clearly drunk he cannot even walk straight without Mark’s arm around him.

Mark sits the younger down on the sofa as soon as they reach the living room and Jaebum groans when his back hit the soft cushions of the sofa. “I’ll be back with a thicker clothing and some hot drink.” Mark mumbles and Jaebum nods, eyes already closed as he sinks further into the throw pillow he had clutched on his chest. Mark just shakes his head before heading to the kitchen, deciding on boiling some water first and while waiting for it, he goes to his room to get a hoodie and some blanket for Jaebum.

The younger is still haphazardly half-lying on the couch when Mark came back. He pulls at Jaebum’s arm to make him sit upright before putting the hoodie over his head. Jaebum is surprisingly compliant in wearing it; raising his arms when needed and without questioning or preamble. It seems he got tired of talking because of how much he had talked earlier. Once Jaebum is settled, he had wrapped the blanket around his body before guiding him to slouch on the couch once again; one of the throw pillows resting on the side of his face.

“Just hang on a bit more, okay?” He thumbs the younger’s cheek which is now getting warmer thanks to their heater and the extra clothing. Jaebum looks up to him with half-lidded eyes before nodding.

“OK. Don’t leave me for long, hyung? I love you.” He leans against Mark’s hand and Mark blushes, he is not used to Jaebum being like this, though the thought of the younger doing all of this subconsciously is still knocking on the forefront of his brain; his heart still cannot help but feel light, happy, and warm. Mark was just about to respond, but he was distracted when the kettle started to whistle loudly; indicating that the water has already boiled. He pats Jaebum’s cheek lightly before murmuring a soft “I’ll be back” and walks to the kitchen.

Mark is just about to finish stirring the tea after he had put some honey on his mug when he felt a warm body behind him, their arms making its way around his slim waist, the person’s chin leaning against his shoulder. He was pulled closer to the other’s clothed chest and he can feel the other’s nose tickling the side of his neck, before kisses are being pressed against it oh-so-lightly, making him giggle at the feeling.

“You’re taking so long, hyung…” Jaebum nuzzles his face on Mark’s neck. “I’ve missed you already.” Jaebum really is something when he’s drunk— though he had never seen the younger being this clingy and cuddly before.

“Sorry, Bum-ah. The tea is ready and I’m just about to add honey on yours—“ Mark giggled yet again when an open mouthed kiss was placed against the crook of his neck and shoulder. “Bummie— I’m going to spill honey and tea everywhere, I need to move.” He giggles at the whine that Jaebum let out, but the younger slowly pulled away to stand next to him on the counter, his movements now surprisingly sober. Mark managed to make the tea despite the heat on his cheeks and chest as he hands the mug over the Jaebum, who took it gingerly— taking huge sips despite the drink being hot.

“Wanna go back to the living room?” Mark says and Jaebum just shakes his head; hopping on the counter to sit on it, gesturing for Mark to do the same by taking a hold of his arm. Mark nods and sits next to Jaebum after putting the mug on the counter.

The two of them fell into a deep, comfortable silence, quietly sipping their teas with some occasional burps here and there, mostly from the younger, and Mark thinks this is OK, well, far from OK, actually, this is one of the best moments he had gotten to share with Jaebum for the last almost 8 years that they’ve been friends.

“Hyung?” Jaebum spoke first; his head leaning against Mark’s shoulder and his arm circling his hyung’s waist.

“Yes Jaebum?” Mark says, his arm automatically making its way around the younger’s broad shoulders, his chin resting against the younger’s head.

“Are you still mad at me?” The younger murmurs and Mark wanted to say yes, because, he should still be, right? But he is not mad anymore— deep inside him he isn’t, but he chooses not to answer the question now. They need to have another conversation about this when the younger is not drunk off of his ass.

“We’ll talk about this once you’ve sobered up, Bummie.” He says and before he can even stop himself, he had placed a kiss on the younger’s head through his hoodie. Jaebum scooted closer to hug Mark, his head tuck on his chest— his eyes fluttering with a mixture of alcohol and tea on his system, Mark’s body heat slowly lulling him to sleep.

It isn’t exactly comfortable; they are perched on the cold, marble counter of Mark and Jackson’s kitchen, but Mark doesn’t seem to mind, even if Jaebum has his whole weight resting against his body because the younger had already fallen asleep, his deep, slow breaths grazing his chest through the fabric of his shirt. It is a wonderful feeling; and Mark chooses to cherish this while it lasts, until he gets to find out the truth from Jaebum, maybe tomorrow, at breakfast. But for now, he’s feeling so light and warm that he had to fight the urge to cry with how amazing the feeling is— he will just enjoy this moment with Jaebum.

Once he had finished his tea— he tried to wake Jaebum up so that they can transfer to his bedroom, but Jaebum is like a log, he knows as much when the younger is in a deep slumber, so he had no other choice but to carry the taller, younger boy to the bedroom. Mark has a lithe body but he is stronger than he looks, so he didn’t stagger when he carried Jaebum by his thighs, the younger wrapping his arms around the older and his legs around his hips like a koala and his face buried against his neck, which Mark thinks is really endearing.

He drops Jaebum on his bed, the younger still sleeping soundly. He lies next to Jaebum a few seconds after, and Jaebum quickly scooted closer to the elder, latching his limbs against his, making Mark smile even more, entertaining the still drunk boy further.

He presses a kiss on Jaebum’s forehead once the two of them had settled on a more comfortable position (well, mostly Jaebum since he is almost lying on top of Mark), the younger murmuring something unintelligible against Mark’s neck before falling asleep once again.

“Good night, Jaebummie.”

 

~*~

Chapter Text

~*~

Normally, Mark would be OK waking up on his bed alone.

This morning was different though.

He stood up from his king-sized bed abruptly when he felt Jaebum’s presence and warmth missing next to him, the bed not providing him the warmth that he wanted and needed at that moment.

“Jaebum?” Mark tried not to sound worried or scared, but he failed big time. His voice cracked embarrassingly he’s not sure if he shouted or whispered. His eyes watered at the mere thought of Jaebum leaving; not after what happened last night, not after hearing him confess.

Didn’t he, somehow, expected this tragic turn of events at one point last night?

He did, but it doesn’t mean he wouldn’t get hurt.

“Jaebum-ah!” He shouted a little louder; standing up from the bed to go to the bathroom; opening it as wide as he can only to realize he wasn’t there. He staggered all the way to the door of his room; looking at the hallway before running towards the kitchen and the living room; but Jaebum is still not there, the sunlight peeking through the curtains is all that he can see, which supposed to lighten his surroundings, but the tears that are flowing out of Mark’s eyes seemed to blur everything else.

Jaebum had really left.

Was last night just a dream? Was it just a product of the strong desires of his subconscious no matter how much he hated the younger?

He walked back to his room in zombie-like movements; he had to hold on to the wall to support himself. He made it inside in one piece, luckily, before he stumbles to the direction of his bathroom. He washes the grubs and tears on his face quickly, before brushing his teeth, all the while thinking what really happened last night. Was he really just dreaming? Did it really happen? Did it happen and when Jaebum woke up this morning he realized what he did and regretted everything?

Mark quickly finished brushing his teeth when he started crying again— he hated himself for expecting that Jaebum had changed— that they’ll finally be together, or at least the younger would have stayed and explained himself, what he truly feels, at least they had talked and he wouldn’t be left in the dark again, right? He could’ve accepted it if the younger just talked to him— instead of always walking and running away each and every time—

“Mark?”

Oh.

“Mark? Where are you?”

Wait, was that Jaebum?

He heard the younger murmuring something soft and some shuffling, maybe looking through the blankets and pillows on his bed, as if he is going to see the redhead there, hiding or something.

“Mark—“ Jaebum was cut off when Mark finally opened the bathroom door and he is welcomed by a half-naked Jaebum— a white towel is wrapped around his waist and his hair is still wet; which he is trying to dry using a smaller towel around his neck.

“Oh— I didn’t realize that was a bathroom! I stepped outside and used the one in the hallway next to Jackson’s— oh!” He was cut off again when Mark practically sprinted from the bathroom towards the brunette’s direction— hugging the younger with all his might and slotting his face on the crook of Jaebum’s neck, sobbing uncontrollably— mirroring how Jaebum was a few hours ago.

“Hyung? Are you okay?” Jaebum steadied the two of them by hugging Mark tight and walking backwards until his shin touches the edge of the bed. Mark is still crying— he cannot bring himself to speak as Jaebum guided him to sit on his lap once he get to sit on it.

“Ssshhh, you’re okay, hyung—“

“I thought you’d left….” Mark cried harder on Jaebum’s neck and the younger breathed out a sigh of relief, he thought the older was hurt physically or something, and he smiled as he nuzzles the side of Mark’s hair, rocking him back and forth. He smiles at how the roles had reversed from a few hours ago.

“Why would I? I just took a shower because I smell like shit—“ Mark just hugged him tighter and Jaebum chuckles before continuing, “I didn’t mean to leave you, I tried to shower as fast as I can.” He says and Mark pulls away from the younger’s neck, realizing that he just threw himself at Jaebum, now that the younger is far from drunk, so this might be a very awkward situation. He wipes the tears and snot using his hands when Jaebum handed him the towel around his neck with a knowing smile. He avoided the younger’s stares as he takes the towel, wiping his face with it before blowing his nose on it, making Jaebum let out a quiet snort, which Mark ignored, embarrassment now surely showing on his face. As soon as he’s done cleaning his nose and face, he pulls away from Jaebum— or least he attempted to, because Jaebum is already hugging him close, stopping him from moving even an inch away from him.

“And where do you think you’re going, Mark?” Jaebum scrunches his nose up and raised an eyebrow at the older.

“I—“ Mark swallowed thickly; his eyes looking anywhere but Jaebum’s. The younger pulls him closer and tilting his head up so that their eyes would meet.

“You can talk to me, Mark-yah.” Jaebum cradles Mark’s jaw with his hand. “I am sure you have a lot of questions to ask.” Jaebum smiles— which made Mark blink at him multiple times. He looks away again, unable to continue staring at the younger boy and the brunette just lets him. After a few more agonizing minutes, Mark finally lets out a breath and decides to be brave.

“C-can you… r-remember how you… you g-got h-here?” He stuttered big time but, at least he finally gets to meet Jaebum’s dark orbs.

“Yes.” Jaebum answered; and Mark bites his lower lip, thinking of what else to ask, and Jaebum’s tight hold around him assures him that he can continue.

“So—“ He clears his throat before continuing, ”You— remember what happened last night?”

“Everything.” Somehow, Jaebum closed the distance between their bodies even more, his forehead now resting against the other boy, Mark’s clothed chest bumping against Jaebum’s slightly wet and naked one, and Jaebum can feel the elder’s heartbeat against his own frantic ones. “I remember everything, hyung.” One of his hands left Mark’s waist to hold the back of the redhead’s neck. “And I meant everything that I said last night… All of those were true, no lies, no bullshits, just the truth.” Jaebum closes his eyes as he presses their nose together, his lips brushing against the elder’s briefly and Mark closed his eyes too, his grip on Jaebum’s neck tightening and he can feel his eyes welling up again; his fear of Jaebum running away or not telling the truth dissipating slowly and surely and he can feel his heart about to burst out of his chest.

“Mark?” Jaebum pulls way to grab Mark’s jaw and the older opens his eyes, tears escaping his lids but the younger was quick to wipe them away before staring right through his brown doe eyes.

“I love you, Mark-hyung.”

Mark doesn’t know what sparked the need inside him, the velvet, honeyed voice of the younger or his soft, loving, and sweet stare, or maybe the way he cradles Mark’s face and body as if he’s made of porcelain, which made him confident and courageous enough to finally close the gap between their lips; his pillow-like and pink lips capturing Jaebum’s slightly chapped and thinner ones— molding against each other slowly and sensually.

It didn’t take long for the two of them to get lost in the kiss— they had kissed multiple times in the past but they both know that this kiss is different, far different from those— there are no lies and hesitations on this kiss, it’s all love, passion, and truth.

Mark’s fingers tangled on Jaebum’s dark hair when the younger snaked his tongue inside his mouth, the younger grips the back of his neck tight but gentle at equal measure; causing Mark to melt against his touch and with the way his tongue is caressing each and every part of his wet cavern.

Mark was breathless when Jaebum pulls away, already missing Jaebum’s mouth on his own— so after taking a couple of much needed breaths, the two of them immediately kissed once more, more passionate this time, their tongues immediately meeting and dancing against an unheard music, their bodies pressing against each other more insistently; and they both do not give a damn that their tears are wetting both of their faces.

“I love you too, Jaebum.” Mark finally said when he moves his lips from Jaebum’s only millimeters away; words being spoken against the younger’s lips. Mark repeated the statement and it seem to spur something deep inside the younger, kissing Mark again fervidly before crawling backwards on the bed, flipping them over so that the older his beneath him, all the while their mouths are still connected. He fits perfectly in between Mark’s legs, his arm rounding on the elder’s slender waist while the other is cradling the side of his face, his thumb caressing Mark’s prominent cheekbone.

“That is such a relief.” Jaebum mouths on the small space between Mark’s bottom lip and chin— causing Mark to giggle silently before he cradles Jaebum’s face once again, pressing their foreheads together— turning his head from side to side just to brush their lips together, bringing out giggles from both of them.

“It took you almost a century though.” Mark playfully pinched Jaebum’s waist and the younger giggled, before he’s kissing Mark again— his hands sliding inside Mark’s hoodie, touching the warm skin of the older, making Mark moan into the kiss— his hands wrapping around the broad shoulders that he undeniably missed touching and holding against his lithe body.

“I miss you so much… You have no idea…” Jaebum murmurs against Mark’s jaw and Mark’s hold against Jaebum tightened a little bit when the younger lowered his face to his neck before kisses are being pressed against the pale expanse.

“I miss you too, Jaebum-ah.” Mark tugs on Jaebum’s hair when the younger sucks on the base of his throat— “I miss holding you like this—“

“Me too—“ Jaebum lifts his head to dive back in to capture the plump lips that he had admired since forever. He groans when Mark arched his back so that their chest to chest, his hands that are inside the elder’s shirt are holding on to his waist tightly, but not enough to bruise or hurt, just enough to assure the elder that he’s safe with him, and that he’s there to hold him.

Jaebum’s pulls away from Mark and he smiles at the pout that the older boy threw him, before slowly lifting the elder’s hoodie off of his head. Mark, however, is not as patient as Jaebum, so after the bulky clothing is gone, he immediately reached around to pull at the edge of the towel from where it’s tucked behind the younger, causing it to fall on top of him haphazardly, the younger’s erection and ass are suddenly exposed at the cold air of their room. Mark grabs the towel before tossing it on the floor— before wrapping an arm around the younger, pushing him against his chest and he grunts at the feeling of Jaebum’s slightly wet and muscled body against his own, as well as the younger’s naked erection against his thigh.

“Mark…” Jaebum groans when Mark moved a little to the right so that his center would meet Jaebum’s, before grinding against the younger’s dick. He did it again and Jaebum closed his eyes, ducking down to kiss him, his hand circling his shoulders to bring him impossibly closer to his body.

“Jaebum—“ Mark moans against Jaebum’s ear when the younger attacks his neck again. “Fuck me, please.” His statement was accompanied by another thrust up, Jaebum accidently biting on the thin skin of Mark’s collarbone.

“M-Mark— No, wait...” Jaebum puts a hand on top of Mark’s hip, stopping the elder from moving. Mark pulls away from nibbling on Jaebum’s red earlobe to stare at his lover.

“Y-you don’t want to?”

“N-no, not that I don’t want to.” Jaebum explains, kissing the pout on the redhead’s lips before showing that small smile that would never fail to make Mark’s heart do flips and turns against his rib cage. “I’m going to make love to you, Mark-ah.” Jaebum inches closer and Mark’s breath hitches— but the younger is not done yet. “We’re going to take it slow this time, baby.” Jaebum presses his forehead against Mark’s before pressing another kiss on his lips, the movements still so tender and light, tugging at the hamstrings of Mark’s heart.

Jaebum just stared at the dark brown orbs staring right back at him after sharing another compassionate kiss, a smile forming at his lips automatically. He cannot believe that he had treated this angel so badly over the last year. He felt stupid for making the older boy suffer just because he was scared. He either shouldn’t have touched him completely, or touched him in the best ways possible.

And that is what he would be doing this morning; and the next coming days/nights in the next 100 years.

 

Mark just looks at Jaebum as the younger eyes each and every part of his face, his face growing hotter and hotter as he cannot handle the intensity of it all. Jaebum then smiles his boyish, all teeth, blinding smile, and he cannot help but return it, silently conveying his unspoken message of love and appreciation to the younger boy.

Jaebum kisses the smile away from Mark and remembered what they are actually doing. He kisses the small space between Mark’s bottom lip and his chin, before nudging Mark’s head upwards, kissing the juncture of his chin and neck, before trailing more butterfly kisses along the expanse of his throat. He sucks at the base of his throat, making Mark let out a small whimper, before his kisses on his throat became firmer, his tongue licking the skin his lips just left, until he’s back at Mark’s chin. He smirks at Mark and even before the older can react, he ducks down to press his lips against the side of his neck, nibbling on the pale skin. Mark’s fingers are tangled on Jaebum black locks, while his other hand is unconsciously brushing on the growing mullet as Jaebum continues nibbling and sucking on his neck, now switching on the other side to give it the same treatment.

Jaebum didn’t stop there, he kisses Mark’s perfect collarbones, left a few small hickeys here and there, all the while his thumb and index fingers are playing with his pert nipples, the actions making his already hard cock twitch heavily against his shorts.

“J-Jaebum…” Mark tugs on Jaebum’s hair when the younger’s mouth is suddenly wrapped around his nipple, sucking on the perky nub a few times before letting it go, the younger shooting the redhead a smirk before holding the nub between his teeth, biting on it gently and Mark unabashedly thrashed beneath him, the sensations Jaebum is giving on his nipples travelling straight to his groin. Jaebum lets go of his nipple, thankfully, but he gasped when he switched sides and licks the other nipple repeatedly, the other is now being tugged and pinched in sync with his licks.

“F-fuck… B-baby…” Mark is speechless, he doesn’t even realize that his nipples are that sensitive before, since Jaebum didn’t really touch him there. He wonders how in hell the younger brought this out from him.

“Hi, hyung.” Jaebum winks at him when he finally lets go of his nubs, now swollen, wet, slightly red, and overly sensitive, making Mark whimper and arch his back when Jaebum thumbs both of it, which made Jaebum chuckle at the elder’s reaction and Mark just glares at him through his fringe. Jaebum continues his exploration on Mark’s body, holding on to Mark’s sides and squeezing it lightly while he peppers the elder’s stomach and abs with kisses, licks, and sucks— the sounds of pleasure coming out of Mark’s mouth only fueling his desire to make Mark feel good. A few months ago, he might have already lost control and flipped the elder and fucked him against the sheets, but he is a different person now. He already killed that asshole inside him, and he is sure that he is not going to relive it any time soon.

Well, he might still be a little rough if Mark would like it, sure.

His mouth finally reached the hem of Mark’s tight shorts and he smirks when he sees the outline of Mark’s dick against the fabric, making it obvious that the older is not wearing any underwear beneath. His chin nudges the bulge slightly, but it’s more than enough to make Mark’s hips buck against his face, and Jaebum giggles heartily as he gives Mark what he wanted by nuzzling his nose over his cock, his tongue gliding over his clothed erection, and just when his tongue is about to meet the head of Mark’s dick, he withdraws carefully, smiling evilly as he kisses the skin just above Mark’s shorts all the way up to his belly button, licking on his navel repeatedly that had Mark lifting his head from the pillows by the lack of touch on where he craves it the most. Jaebum meets Mark’s gaze as he lowers his head again, his chin once again rubbing on Mark’s dick, and Mark whimpered as he lazily buck his hips up as he envelopes Jaebum’s hands that are on his hips, guiding the younger’s fingers towards the waistband of his shorts.

“Don’t tease, Jaebum—fu—” Mark was cut off when, all of a sudden, Jaebum mouths on the head of his dick, sucking him through his shorts and Mark digs his fingers against the back of Jaebum’s hand, his head throwing back against the pillows as Jaebum continues to suck him, creating a wet patch on his shorts with a mixture of Jaebum’s saliva and his precum.

Not long after, he feels his shorts being removed quickly as he automatically lifts his hips to help the younger, until Jaebum pulls at it from his ankles and throwing it somewhere far behind him. Mark’s red, hard cock stood in attention, the head hitting his stomach and Jaebum groans in delight, licking his lips as he runs his hands over the pale, milky white skin of the elder’s legs and thighs, each glide of his palms and fingers making the older jolt, his body feeling like it’s on fire whenever Jaebum touches him.

Jaebum then bends down to place a kiss on the space right next to the head of his dick, teasing Mark even further just to hear the soft whine from his lover’s lips— before he gives Mark what he wanted. He began to press small kisses all over the head— licking on the slit to collect the precum on his tongue. Mark bites his lower lip as he sees Jaebum lick his head precisely and thoroughly, making him clutch the white sheets beneath him. Jaebum continues to kiss him there, from the head to the base, before licking his way back up his head, swirling his tongue against it until more precum comes out of his slit, Jaebum licks it all up once again and the redhead feels like he’s going to burst any time soon, and Jaebum is taking his sweet time torturing and pleasuring him.

“J-Jaebum…” He grasps a handful of Jaebum’s black hair when the younger mouths on his balls and their eyes met once again. “Please…” He bites his lower lip when Jaebum sucks on the mouthful and lets it go with a pop.

“I’m trying to take it slow… Mark-yah—“

“I know… but—“

“All those times that we’re together, we’re always rushing, Mark.” Jaebum kisses his inner thigh before rounding his arms around them, his eyes locked on the elder’s. “I don’t want this to be rushed just like our previous nights and days together…” He kisses the other side of his thigh.

“I want to be good for you, I want to rile you up without the rush of adrenaline and lust…” Jaebum’s mouth is back up to the head of his dick and after giving a few suctions, he lets it go with a pop. “I want us to do this as long as we can…” He kisses one of Mark’s abs, tightening his hold around his thighs to keep the elder in place.

“That’s what love-making is, Mark… I don’t want this to just be another lust-driven fuck… I don’t want that anymore…” Mark chokes on the intensity of Jaebum’s words— his mouth going dry at the series of confessions he gets to hear from Jaebum in the last few hours.

“Let me make love to you… I promise it will be worth it.” Jaebum looks up and Mark practically turned into a puddle of feels at the sight of Jaebum’s pleading eyes. He wanted to say something, but all of the words got choked up on his throat so he just nodded mindlessly, his hand caressing Jaebum’s hair and the younger smiles brightly.

“Thank you… Mark.” He breathes the older in through his stomach before looking up with a strange glint on his eyes. “Now, where were we?”

Mark gasps loudly when he felt Jaebum mouth on his cock again, however, this time, he eases half of it in one go, locking his gaze on the elder before he felt his wet muscle circling the head of his dick.

“Holy fu—“ Jaebum sucks on his cock before easing the rest of his length inside. Damn. Mark was never blown by Jaebum before, it was him who always gives Jaebum blowjobs and deep throats when they do not have enough time to actually fuck— so this— this is an entirely new experience for him.

“Jaebum— fuck— how did you—“ He didn’t get to finish what he said because Jaebum already sinks his mouth lower with the aid of his saliva and Mark’s precum, slowly, surely, before he stops, only inches away from actually putting the entirety of his length inside his mouth. Jaebum moves up a few centimeters, before sinking lower, but not enough to deep throat the elder’s cock— in short, he’s still teasing Mark.

“Jaebum—“ Mark looks up to meet Jaebum’s black orbs and he is not sure if that was the best thing to do. As soon as he landed his gaze on the younger, Jaebum practically swallowed his length— his lips touching the base of his dick and Mark was even more shocked that Jaebum didn’t even gag or choke. Jaebum just holds him there, relaxing his gag reflex just like how Mark does it every time the elder blows him— getting used to the foreign intrusion on his throat.

“Your mouth…” Mark moaned, high pitched and heavy, when Jaebum tightened the back of throat, squeezing Mark’s length and his tongue hitting the underside of the elder’s glans, stimulating the nerves surrounding the redhead’s length, leaving Mark breathless and grasping for at least a tiny bit of sanity.

“FUCK. I didn’t know that you can deep throat this goo—“ Mark was again unable to finish his compliment when Jaebum started moving up and down his length, his pharynx clamping the head of his dick whenever he pushes it inside his mouth as far as he can, and Mark thinks he’s gonna go crazy. He started to push his hips up to meet Jaebum halfway, and he gasps when Jaebum moans heavily while still allowing him to fuck his mouth deeper.

Mark is embarrassingly close and he is contemplating if he wanted to cum on Jaebum’s mouth or wait ‘til Jaebum is inside him. But Jaebum’s mouth feels so, so good around him and with the way Jaebum is still blowing him— he looks like he’s determined to finish Mark with just his mouth.

“B-baby…” Mark stutters as he grips Jaebum’s hair tightly, giving the younger a signal that he’s close, at least he tries too, and Jaebum’s eyes turned darker, and started blowing Mark at the earnest, swallowing, groaning, and moaning heavily until Mark can no longer hold back— he cums even before he knows it— making his body go rigid as Jaebum sinks as low as he can, trapping the throbbing muscle inside his mouth and Jaebum groans when he feels the elder’s cum covering his throat and travelling down his gullet. He feels proud that even though he lacks experience, he still managed to make the older cum with just his mouth.

Jaebum finally releases Mark’s sensitized dick with a pop, licking the remaining cum on the slit as he watches the older trying to catch his breath and to stop the shivers running up and down his body.

However, Jaebum is far from done yet.

He releases his tight grip on Mark’s thighs before laying both of his palms on top of his inner thighs, pushing them further apart until he gets to see Mark’s hole. He licks his lips once more as he looks up to the older, chuckling when he moves his hands lower to grasp Mark’s perky ass, lifting him slightly and fully expose his rim— his thumbs gliding on his perineum down to the sides of his hole.

Mark, who’s still basically high in pleasure, didn’t even notice Jaebum’s movements until he felt fingers surrounding his hole. He leans on his forearms to see what the younger boy is up to and his eyes widened when Jaebum’s thumb started to circle his tight rim.

Jaebum almost came right then and there when he sees Mark’s hole twitching and throbbing beneath his fingers, the pink ring of muscle is very inviting and he fights the urge to slobber it with his tongue right then and there, but he needs to remind himself that he needs to take it slow. So he lets his saliva (and some of Mark’s cum) dribble from his mouth slowly until it flows down Mark’s ass languidly. Once his saliva is there, his thumb spreads the liquid around his hole with a little, but growing pressure, and Mark lets out low, ragged moans, which is music to Jaebum’s ears.

“Keep moaning for me, baby.” Jaebum groans as he spits on Mark’s hole, his thumb still rubbing circles around it, but now it is at a much faster and firmer pace, causing Mark’s back to arch against the bed.

“Jaebum—“ The younger removes his thumb from Mark’s hole but quickly replaced it with his mouth, sucking and slurping around his hole obscenely that Mark finds it hard to focus once more. Jaebum is eating his ass—another first. He remembers Jaebum spitting on his hole and fingering him, but never putting his mouth in that region. He feels utterly taken aback, Jaebum making him feel all kinds of feels as he continues to lick and suck on his hole.

“FUCK.” Jaebum smirks against Mark’s ass when he bites on the band of muscle. He does it again, digging his teeth harder this time, and Mark jolts forward, his hands grabbing his hair and shoulder respectively as Jaebum resumed sucking his hole with precision.

“You taste so good down here. Holy fuck.” Jaebum smiles before diving back in to Mark’s hole, downright slobbering his tongue, mouth, and face all over it with a huge lack of finesse, but Mark doesn’t give a fuck, nor Jaebum, as the redhead drowns in the sensation of Jaebum devouring his most private parts like it’s his last meal.

Mark is still on cloud nine when Jaebum pulls away after spitting on his hole once more, before climbing up to the elder’s body, kissing his way up from Mark’s abs, chest, sweaty neck, and cheeks, until he meets his lips. Jaebum kisses his mouth just like how he kisses him down there, and, once again, he’s speechless and breathless, with Jaebum now sucking on his tongue lewdly, a quick reminder of how he sucks on his hole and his cock just minutes ago.

Mark accidentally bites on Jaebum’s lower lip when he felt Jaebum’s middle finger prodding his wet entrance. He pulls away to moan, before licking on the swollen lip he just almost bite off.

“Sorry— ugh— you should’ve warned me…” Mark moans again when Jaebum eases his finger inside him slowly. Jaebum chortles before kissing him deeply once again, one of his hands holding the side of his face while the other is still penetrating him with his middle finger.

“Do you have lube, baby?” Jaebum asks him and Mark tilted his head to the direction of their bed side table.

“There, at the second drawer.” Mark moans when Jaebum’s middle finger penetrated him fully— it has been a while since he was fucked, more than a month ago by Jaebum, so he feels a slight pain because of the intrusion. Jaebum reaches forward to grab the lube (and he mentally smirked that it was unopened). He withdraws his finger from Mark’s hole before pouring a generous amount on his middle and ring finger, but he inserted just the middle finger first, which slid in smoothly this time.

“S-shit—“ Mark bites his lower lip when Jaebum started to move his finger in and out of him, all the while his mouth his hovering his and his other hand caressing his face, or his hair. Jaebum kisses him once more and he jolts when he felt the tip of Jaebum’s other finger prodding his entrance, before pushing it in slowly alongside the first one. He gasps against Jaebum’s mouth, the overwhelming feeling of Jaebum’s previous acts and now the younger prepping him, which he also did slowly the first time, is enough to cloud Mark’s brain with strong emotions, along with the raging hormones his body is releasing because of the man above him.

“Mark-ah, are you okay?” Jaebum whispers against his mouth softly, his fingers already second knuckle deep inside him. He shakes his head, words getting stuck in his throat once again, he hopes that Jaebum would understand what he’s trying to convey.

“You’re crying, baby. Am I hurting you?”

Mark didn’t even realize that he’s crying until he felt Jaebum’s fingers brushing the tears away from his cheeks. He opened his eyes slowly and he meets Jaebum’s worried ones.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jaebum cradles his face with his hand while he withdraws his fingers from his ass. More tears run down his cheeks with Jaebum’s questions and his hands caressing his face softly, his face being peppered with kisses.

Mark lets out a huge breath before looking up at Jaebum. “No— you didn’t— it’s just—“ Mark swallows the lump in his throat. “I am just not used to…. this.” He laughs lightly but he bites his lower lip, which made the younger’s heart clench tightly as he looks at the older boy. The realization that he didn’t really show a tiny amount of care for Mark when they were having sex before crashing on him like a freight truck; and all he wants to do at the moment is to protect Mark from anything, more so, from his previous self.

“I’m sorry baby…” He kisses Mark’s nose before kissing his forehead. “I know that I was such an asshole before; but I promise you that that person will not show up ever again.” He cradles Mark’s face to make the older look at him in the eyes.

“I won’t be able to guarantee that it’s going to be perfect for us, but I will do my very best to not hurt you anymore, that you will only experience happiness when you’re with me, Mark.” He kisses Mark’s forehead before looking at Mark’s teary eyes. “I will show you how much you mean to me, that I really love you so much, Mark. I hope you’ll give me a chan—.” Jaebum was silenced by Mark when the older grabs his face and kisses him fervidly; Jaebum’s words igniting the already boiling desire inside him.

Jaebum pulls away to thumb Mark’s crimson and still slightly wet cheeks. “Do you still want to do this, hyung?”

“Please…” Mark kisses Jaebum again before his hand slides down to his chest and abs, and grabbing Jaebum’s hard cock, making the younger moan against his mouth. “I need you, Jaebum… I need you to make love to me.” Jaebum kisses the older again and they both groaned when Jaebum reinserted his fingers inside Mark, now moving relentlessly while Mark pumps Jaebum’s dick.

“Mark—“ Jaebum guides Mark to slow down his pace. “I’m not gonna last long if you do that… I want to cum inside you.” He looks at the elder and Mark nods, removing his hand from his cock and wraps it around his neck instead.

“Get inside me already…” Mark whines and Jaebum grunts against his neck when Mark clenches around two of his fingers tautly.

“Just a little more, baby.” Mark rocks his hips against Jaebum’s fingers.

“I need more, Jaebummie…” He moans and Jaebum pulls away to drop more lube on his index finger, before inserting it alongside the other two. The stretch is tighter this time, making Mark’s head fall back against the pillows when Jaebum managed to hit his sweet spot, his still hard cock leaking so much precum that it’s staining his toned stomach. Jaebum crouches to lick on Mark’s cum before moving his fingers in and out of his hole at a fast pace, sensing that Mark is getting really close already so he tries his best to prep him for his cock.

“Jae-Jaeb-bum…” Mark stutters and Jaebum is right there in front of him. “I can’t hold on much longer, please fuck me now…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, please, I’m ready, Jaebum, I need your cock inside me, please… I need you, Bummie!” Mark whines when Jaebum withdraws his fingers and he locks his gaze at the younger’s impressive cock as he coats it with the remaining lube in his hands.

Jaebum hovers the older and kisses him ardently while he brushes the tip of his cock against Mark’s hole a few times before inserting the head. He groans against Mark’s mouth at the tightness but he withdraws again, teasing himself, rubbing the head against the lube-drenched hole, making the older sob in frustration.

“Jaebum—“

“Yes baby, I’m going in.” Jaebum mouths on Mark’s neck as he guides his cock inside Mark’s hole again before pushing in slowly, one of his arms wrapped around Mark’s waist while the other is somewhere on his neck. “You’re so fucking tight, baby,” Jaebum growls against his neck, “So fucking tight, fuck.” He reiterates while he pushes himself in— the older boy beneath him slowly wrapping his legs around his waist, his ankles locked just above his butt to guide the younger to push in deeper and deeper.

Both men let out a lewd sigh when Jaebum managed to bottom out, his dick twitching inside Mark’s throbbing hole— their sweaty bodies sticking against each other, but neither of them gives a damn. Jaebum is still breathing in Mark’s scent through his neck while the other is nibbling on the younger’s earlobe.

“Move, baby.” Mark licks the shell of Jaebum’s ear and Jaebum bites his neck in return, before slowly pulling out of him, the drag of Jaebum’s huge cock burning his walls in a great way, his nerves on high alert until it’s just the head of Jaebum’s cock that’s inside him. Mark urges the younger to push it back in by his legs; and Jaebum complied, thrusting into Mark’s hole slowly, languidly, until he sets a tight, still slow pace for Mark’s liking. Mark allows it, allows Jaebum to take his time as promised earlier, but he can feel Jaebum’s body tensing with every thrust he makes, the way he’s gripping his hips tells him that Jaebum is holding back— along with the cries and sobs he’s leaving on his lips now that they’re back to full-on devouring each other’s mouths.

Mark is no better either. He can feel his cock brushing against his and Jaebum abs whenever the younger lurches into him— it’s also not helping that the head of Jaebum’s cock is brushing against his prostate from time to time— and with the pace Jaebum is living by at the moment, he knows that they’re both going to lose themselves if they don’t pick up their pace right now.

“Jaebum— faster…”

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“You won’t hurt me— not now— baby… Please…” Mark’s pleads fall on deaf ears as Jaebum cries and continues his agonizingly slow pace so he takes the matters in his own hands— groping Jaebum’s perky ass with one hand, while he runs his fingernails down his lower back, which he knows would always set Jaebum off.

He wasn’t wrong.

“Goddamn it, FUCK.” Jaebum’s next thrust was rough, tight, and hard and Mark yelps but quickly smirks because of Jaebum’s reaction. He can feel Jaebum’s control slipping slowly as the younger pistons in and out of him at a now faster and harder pace, his groans of pleasure hitting Mark’s ear and the hold on his hips tightened a fraction.

However, Mark needs more.

“Jaebum— more, please.” His moans and words are accompanied by rigorous clenching and clamping around Jaebum’s dick, causing Jaebum to snarl deeply and heavily against Mark’s ear.

“Mark—don’t—“

“Please, Jaebum—“

“I won’t be able to control myself, baby—“

“I don’t care, just fuck me hard, I need it, baby, I need you, please. Please, FUCK!” A scream ripped out of Mark’s throat when Jaebum started to deliver sporadic and angry thrusts against his hole. The sound of heavy slapping of skin against his skin only riled the two of them up even more. Mark continued to whine whenever Jaebum fucks him, as he untangles his arms from the broad shoulders and placing them against the headboard. He waited for Jaebum to push his hips forward before he grinds downwards, the jolt so powerful that it made both of them let out a deafening scream, but they didn’t stop. Jaebum’s thrusts only grew more excruciating while Mark meets him halfway, his hips moving downwards angrily to meet the younger’s equally fervid plunges.

“Fuck—Mark—“

“Don’t stop, baby… That’s it… Harder, FUCK!” Jaebum angled his hips to thrust powerfully into Mark’s prostate and his mouth watered at the sight of Mark’s flushed, sweaty, disheveled, and absolutely fucked-out form below him, along with the cusses that are leaving the elder’s lips, with a mixture of his name from time to time.

“Mark—“ His voice croaked when he grabs one of Mark’s legs before hooking it above his shoulder, knocking the breath out of Mark’s lungs— in the new position, Jaebum can abuse Mark’s erogenous nerves vehemently, making the older boy clutch on Jaebum’s broad shoulders as if his life depended on it.

“Fuck— I’m so close— Jaebummie—“ Mark groans, his eyes opening to meet Jaebum’s black orbs and he bites his lower lip because of how hot and delicious Jaebum looks like at the moment with his jet black hair mussed, along with the sweat that are running down his temples, his slightly swollen lips, and his broad body hovering his leaner ones, and the rigidness of Jaebum’s muscles beneath his fingertips.

“You’re so beautiful, baby.” Jaebum kisses him again, swallowing his whimpers and cries when one of Jaebum’s hands finally grabs his bouncing erection, rubbing his thumb on the slit multiple times before pumping him steadfastly, while his rapid and firm thrusts against his ass is completely unfazed— and Mark feels like he’s floating with sensory overload, his body writhing beneath the younger boy.

Jaebum sensed that Mark is getting close so he worked double time; controlling the urge to cum because he wanted to wait for Mark to cum first.

“J-J-Jaeb—“ Mark uttered in broken syllables and Jaebum whispers against his ear.

“Cum for me, baby boy.”

Mark suddenly exploded— cumming uncontrollably against Jaebum’s skilled hand, his body trembling and shaking underneath the younger— his shouts and screams of absolute pleasure being swallowed by Jaebum’s overly eager mouth.

Mark never felt this kind of orgasm before, he felt like he’s being shattered into pieces with how strong and great it is; his body quaking as if there’s an internal earthquake happening inside his body.

Jaebum, upon seeing Mark reaching his climax, cannot hold himself back any further— he holds Mark closer before he digs his teeth on the juncture of the redhead’s neck and shoulder, grunting Mark’s name heavily when he felt the elder’s body shaking beneath his fingertips. Jaebum delivers a few more hard plunges before finally stopping, pushing in deep inside Mark’s walls and cumming— his hips jerking with every spurt of his cum inside Mark, the redhead shuddering and tensing because of sensitivity, which, pretty much, matches the current state of his body.

They stayed in that position for a few minutes, holding each other tightly while still reminiscing and riding the last of their highs. Jaebum continues to deliver shallow thrusts inside Mark, just to hear Mark’s beautiful whines against his ear, as well as the elder’s hands gripping his shoulders. Both of their eyes are still closed, breaths choppy and heavy, but there are blinding and wide smiles on their faces.

“Fuck— Mark… That was—“

“Amazing.” Mark laughs. “That was amazing, Jaebum.”

Jaebum lifts his head from the elder’s neck before staring at Mark, whose eyes immediately opened upon feeling Jaebum’s eyes on him. The younger brushes the hair that matted Mark’s forehead, while the older wipes the sweat on Jaebum’s temples and the slope of his jaw, feeling the younger’s stubble beneath his palms. Jaebum leans down to kiss Mark’s forehead, his nose, before pressing a chaste kiss on his swollen lips.

“So, what are we now?” Mark suddenly asks— bringing out a chuckle from Jaebum that vibrated through his entire body, including his dick, so Mark can physically feel Jaebum’s laughter inside him.

“We are a couple now, you’re my boyfriend, and I am your boyfriend, we are dating…” He tickles Mark’s sides and the older lets out his signature high-pitched laugh. “What else should we name us?”

“I guess that’s pretty much it.” Mark bites his lower lip and Jaebum just eyes the movement, before ducking down to nibble on the cupid’s bow, before they started to make out messily once again.

The older suddenly moans against his lips when Jaebum started to move again— pulling his member out of him a few inches before sliding back in. Mark giggles at the younger before wrapping his legs and arms around Jaebum and grinding his hips to meet Jaebum’s thrusts.

“Round two, baby?”

~*~