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Australian Loser With An American Crush

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20 with two friends in real life. No girlfriend. No boyfriend. Of course no boyfriend, it’s not like he’s gay. No one had ever showed any interest in Max Stanley. No girls, no boys. Even if he wasn’t gay, it’d be nice if someone would show interest in him, even a boy.

He started YouTube at age 16, but didn’t really start getting into it until he was 18. Only had one fucking friend so it didn’t matter if people he knew judged him on his content. He just made prank calls and videos of him vomiting, but still had a surprisingly large fan base. He got fanmail, had meet and greets, but even his female fans didn’t show any romantic interest. I mean, who wants to date a guy that vomits on camera for the world to see? Either way, his fans weren’t in his town so it’s not like it mattered if they had showed interest.

There wasn’t anything special about Max. He had frizzy brown hair, a weird lanky body, and his teeth were fucked. He was obnoxious, annoying and overly loud. Actually just a general asshole to everyone.

At least, that’s what he thought.

The truth was that Max was an attractive boy. His hair, however frizzy it was, was a beautiful shade of brown and complimented all his features. His eyes were a gorgeous green. Everyone loves a boy with dark hair and light eyes.
His voice seemed mean, but was amazing. His laugh was the goofiest thing you could ever hear.
Despite him seeming like the typical mean, angry Australian, he was one of the nicest, most wholesome guys you could ever meet.

Girls he met really liked him, even a few of the closeted gay boys at his school did. He’s been flirted with, but he always misunderstood and thought they were making fun of him. And everyone wanted to be his friend, they just thought he liked being alone, or that he was too caught up in his own shit, or Pokémon to have friends. Jesus that boy loved Pokémon.

There was nothing special about Max, he was just a boy with two friends that made cringey videos on YouTube.

18 is the legal drinking age in Australia, which is why Max was able to be drunk almost all the time. It was starting to become a bit of a problem. Chad, his best friend since childhood was concerned for him, and always warned him about becoming an alcoholic, completely oblivious to the fact that he already was an alcoholic. And HTB, his other friend, which he made on YouTube when HTB reached out to him about his content, was older and had gone through an alcoholic phase himself. Hell, most Australians did. HTB would reassure Chad that it was okay and that he’d get over it, that he was just getting through a rough patch.

In fact, the majority of his videos were filmed drunk. And all of his vomit videos were fueled by alcohol.

“What to do today..” Max mumbled while searching through the newest content on YouTube.
“IDubbbztv? Stupid name...”
he sat through a whole video, some gaming news shit that didn’t interest him too awful much. But the end, something called Kickstarter Crap, was fucking hilarious.
maxmoefoe ‘good video! Loved the Kickstarter Crap, you should make entire videos of just that!’

The truth was, it wasn’t a good video. It was horrible and cringey, but so was Max’s content. Besides, the Kickstarter Crap really was funny, that part wasn’t a lie.

Max took another swig from his vodka and watched a few more of IDubbbztvs videos, making sure to subscribe after the fourth one. He binge watched all of his videos that day, leaving likes on all of them and nice comments on half. He quickly learned that his name was Ian, and that he lived in California. After a few hours he got a ping from his desktop ‘IDubbbztv has replied to your comment!’

IDubbbztv ‘thanks dude!’

Ian only had around 15k subscribers, while Max had nearly 1 million, and was verified.

Max, being the cocky fuck he was, decided that Ian should be happy that he was noticed by someone with so many more subscribers. Ian was happy, so happy that he was nervous and trying to sound cool, but really sounded as lame as ever.

He had to admit, Ian was pretty cute.

No, what the fuck? Max wasn’t gay. He liked girls, maybe? Yes, of course. It’s just the alcohol talking.

But it’s not like it’s gay to think another guy is attractive, right? No, no it’s not. Ian is attractive, and that’s not gay. Definitely not. No homo.

Really there’s no reason for Max to get so worked up and worried about him finding another dude attractive. He’d seen many men that he knew were attractive. Just because he’s straight doesn’t mean he’s blind. He just got worked up about it because he’s drunk and not thinking properly.

Max sighed and took another swig from his vodka. Ian did seem cool. Cool enough to be a friend.

But did it matter? There was no way in hell that Ian would want to be friends with someone like Max.