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Coming Home

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I can’t stop thinking about what Ruby said, of course I still miss her I still love her me wanting kids never changed my love for her. My time on Earth-X taught me that and so did Maggie that life is too short. I stare at the envelope that has Maggie’s new address, should I go to her or should be a coward and send it through mail. I mean her text did say can you possibly mail it to me, but I want to see why she is leaving the county and at least say goodbye to her. I’m going to see her, oh god I’m about to see the girl I love most in the world for the first time in almost two months. Fuck it’s been two months and I still miss her and that will never change, I just made a rash decision because we’ve been arguing for days at end and it got to the point where me and her avoided going home because we knew it would end in more arguing. But there is not a day that goes by where I don’t regret it. I grab my jacket and take her passport out of the envelope and put it in my back packet, I stand up and I grab my crutches. I walk out of my apartment and I hail a cab, lucky for me I don’t have to wait long. I hobble in and tell the cab driver Maggie’s address, I fidget with my hands while my brain and my heart are arguing with each other.
The cabbie arrives at her apartment and I pay the kind man and I hobble out and look at the apartment building before me. Well here goes nothing, I enter the building and lucky for me her apartment is on the bottom floor. I look for her apartment number and I see at the end of the hall, I crutch myself over and I take a deep breath.
You can do this Alex, you’re a baddass secret agent who works with Supergirl and kicks alien’s ass. Just take a deep breath and knock.
I knock on the door twice and wait with baited breath. I hear footsteps on the other side and I see the door open and I there she is, I forget how to breath for a second.
She hasn’t changed much, she’s still beautiful and breath taking. Her hair got shorter and its straight.
“Alex? What are you doing here” she looks down at my cast then back up at me “Alex what the hell happened to you, why are you in a cast? Why don’t you come inside so you can get off your leg.” She opens the door wider for me and I see inside her apartment.
“Thank you, Mags,” I hobble over to the couch and sit down, while she closes the door. Her apartment is small by the looks of it and I still see boxes in the corner of the living room.
“Would you like anything to drink Alex?” she offers me
“No thank you Maggie I’m good for now” I kindly decline. She takes a seat next to me.
“Not to be rude Alex but why are you here?”
“I um found your passport and I came to return it to you” I reach into my back pocket and I take her passport out and I hand it to her
“Thank you so much Alex I need this before next week.” I see her smile and put her passport down on the little coffee table next to her.
“So where are you going?” I ask before I lose my courage.
“Oh, um we have local alien gone missing and we have a source that says they saw him over in Europe. So, the Captain is sending me and a fellow detective to follow through with it.”
“You’re going to Europe for how long?” I ask afraid for the answer.
“Captain says only for three days unless we pick up a trail then its longer. Hey, I saw the news about Kara how is she doing by the way, I’m sorry I never contacted you, I just didn’t think it was my place anymore.”
“Maggie your family its always your place”
“No Alex I was family. There’s a difference, now I only know her as Supergirl.”
“Maggie, you are family and if not family then you are a friend, a friend to Winn, James, Kara, Lena, to me.” She looks up at me and stares at me when I say that.
“What happen to your leg Alex?”
“Reign fractured my fibula when the DEO was trying to detain her when Kara was in a coma”
“Oh my god Alex! Why did no one tell me?”
“Because there was no need Mags. It’s no big deal.”
“No big deal! I think I deserve to know when the woman I’m in love with is hurt.” Wait! Hold up she’s still in love with me. She’s still in love with me!
“Your still in love with me?”
“Of course, I’m still in love with you Alex. You were my soul mate.”
“So then why are you leaving? We need the best detective here. Working with the DEO to catch Reign Maggie, I need you, that’s why I’m here I wanted to know why your leaving and tell you that I miss you. When I was with Ruby today and she told me, I had a text from you, I felt my heart skip a thousand beats and I forgot how to breath. I told her that I still miss you and that it still hurts and that I will never be complete without you. Mags you were the reason I smiled every day and laughed and enjoyed life. Without your life has no meaning.” Oh no her lower lip is trembling, no god please no Maggie don’t cry. She clenches her joy while her hands start doing that thing they when she is nervous.
“Why now? Why now Alex it’s been two months.”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you” I let out a low chuckle while looking at her.
“Try me Alex.”
So, for the next two hours I explained everything that happen over on Earth-X and that included my hookup with Sara and almost dying with Nazis and how everyone told me that I wasn’t wrong over not choosing her. And how I need to trust my instinct, but how my instinct was telling me to go to her, but how I didn’t want her to think that I was choosing after almost dying and that it didn’t mean anything and that I was going to wait two weeks to see her. But then the whole Reign thing happen and Kara being in a coma and Mon’el needing our help.
“Maggie everyone was telling me to trust me instinct but the thing about instinct its wrong because that’s your fight or flight mode activated. That’s why I was going to wait two weeks because even though I knew I love you more than anything and wanted you back, I wanted to be 100% sure and I was but life got in the way before anything. Then Kara happened and again I didn’t want you to think I’m only coming to you because I’m comfortable with you and that I would regret in the morning so again I wait. What I’m trying to say is, that there is never a good time. And if there is never good time to tell the one person I love the most in the world then how am I supposed to raise a child in it.”
By the time I’m done with my speech we’re sitting close together while my legs are on her lap and our hands are tangled with each other on my lap. How could I ever give up on this, she’s right this real.
“Alex, I believe everything your saying but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have to leave and that you still choose kids and that no matter much we love each other we can’t go back to how things were. I gave you one more chance Alex, remember after Kara was on slavers moon and you ended things, I told you, you only get one.”
“I know Maggie and that’s my mistake. This whole mess is my fault, but I never wanted to choose kids over you. I thought I needed kids, I thought I needed to be a mom. I was wrong because I realized I never wanted anything of it without you Maggie Sawyer, your what I need. I need to be your girlfriend or fiancé or friend just something or anything to be able to be in your life.”
She smiles over at me and squeezes my hand.
“How about friends first and when I come back maybe a date, so we can discuss where I am.”
I smile so bright and I have tears coming out of eyes.
“Yea that works whatever you want Mags.”
“Come on Alex its late let’s get you home, I will text you tomorrow, so we can hang out and talk more.”
“I can’t wait then” I get up and grab my crutches with Maggie’s help and I walk over to the door while she opens it for me and I turn around once I’m out the door I smile at her.
“See you later Sawyer” She laughs and flashes me one of those smiles with her dimples.
“See you later Danvers” She leans over and stands up on her tip toes and kisses me on the cheek and by that single kiss on my cheek, it feels like coming home all over again.