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"Don't" Text Me Spam

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Heeey Carlos ~;) Es ese lindo camarero de ayer ~ ¿Cómo estás ~?

            READ 9:24 PM

Uhm... wrong number??

            READ 9:25 PM

Oh, sorry dude! Or dudette. Must have typed it wrong, lol.

            READ 9:25 PM

Dude. And no, it’s cool.

            READ 9:26 PM

~!~!~!~Next Morning~!~!~!~

Good morning beautiful~ <YELLOW3 <BLUE3

            READ 6:00 AM

Uh... again I don’t think that was intended for me?

            READ 6:05 AM

SHIT sorry!! That was for my bud lol.

But uh, good morning I guess!

            READ 6:08 AM

Good morning? No. It is still night time, I cannot understand why anyone could be up. And thanks to you, I am.

            READ 6:09 AM

XD XD XD lol you must be a night owl then? And dude, getting up early is the best - you get to watch the sunrise and everything’s so calm and peaceful. Great start to your day. You should try it now that you’re up ;P you’re welcome

            READ 6:11 AM

I am a night owl so hell with the sunrise. I’ll watch the sunset but I need to sleep until at least 10. I’m going back to bed.

            READ 6:11 AM

Haha, sweet dreams then dude!

Quick question though, what’s your favorite color?

            READ 5:14 PM

It’s red. Why do you continue to text me?

            READ 5:15 PM

Idk, because it’s fun I guess. Like a pen pal! You’re my Text Pal. That’ll be your contact.

Also wtf dude did you sleep this whole time??

Also:

(Red and Blue hearts here because emojis don't work on AO3 WE TRIED OKAY)

            READ 5:17 PM

Stop spamming me! You’re lucky I’m not blocking you. To answer your question, I was very possibly sleeping until now. Also, what’s with the hearts?

            READ 5:18 PM

Oh you don’t like spamming?

It’s like

The best way to text Dude

You gotta try it

Seriously ;P

And as for the hearts

It’s a thing I do with my friends

            READ 5:21 PM

Stop spamming me, or I’ll block you.

            READ 5:22 PM

I ask their favorite color

And send them that color heart

WAIT WAIT I DIDN’T SEE THAT DON’T BLOCK ME!!

            READ 5:23 PM

Blocked.

            READ 5:23 PM

Noooo! Okay okay so I send them their favorite color heart along with my favorite color heart, so that’s red and blue for us! Isn’t that fun?

(Hours later)

Text pal?

(Hours later)

Sweet Dreams, Text Pal!!!

You better not have blocked me

~!~!~!~Next Day~!~!~!~

JERK

I KNOW YOU HAVEN’T BLOCKED ME BECAUSE IT SAYS YOU READ IT!!!

I’ll just keep spamming you if you don’t reply

Come ooooonnnnnn

We were having fuuuuunnnnn

(RED AND BLUE HEARTS DAMNIT)

YOU’RE REPLYING

            READ 12:01 PM

Alright! Fuck, just stop spamming me you irritating nuisance.

            READ 12:02 PM

Lol is that my contact name? ;P

            READ 12:02 PM

No. It’s annoying prick. If I knew how to work this damn phone I would block you.

            READ 12:03 PM

Pfffft omg how old are you???

I’m 17 btw

            READ 12:04 PM

Do you have a brain? Hasn’t your mother ever warned you of stranger danger? I could be a serial killer, rapist, or kidnapper for all you know.

            READ 12:06 PM

Ummmm pretty sure there’s not much you could do with just my age sooooo

How old are you??

Rn I’m guessing like 30

READ 12:09 PM

That’s not true. It starts at your age and then you drop more little hints about your life. Next thing you know, I’m breaking into your house and killing you. Also, I’m not that old! Why would you guess that?

            READ 12:11 PM

Because you’re distrustful of technology and don’t know how to work your cell phone?

Also dude you type slow as fuck

            READ 12:12 PM

You completely ignored the rest of my messages. Just because I don’t like technology doesn’t mean I’m old, and I don’t type slow I just I type one message instead of spamming small messages.

            READ 12:14 PM

Okay first of all

           READ 12:15 PM

Oh God.

            READ 12:15 PM

Obviously you’re not a serial killer because you’d be a lot more charming

Second of all

That’s why spamming is better than one message

Because then you keep the other person engaged

Instead of waiting a lot

            READ 12:17 PM

Oh come on, just because I’m not charming doesn’t mean I’m not a serial killer (I am actually taking offense to this). I might start purposefully typing slower so you have to wait longer.

            READ 12:20 PM

DUDE NOOOOO

COME ON

And I didn’t mean it to be offensive!!

I just mean like, in general, serial killers tend to be really friendly so their victim feels safe and talks to them and junk

            READ 12:22 PM

Yeah, but not all serial killers can be Ted Bundies. I’m googling how to block people.

            READ 12:23 PM

Omg

It’s Ted Bundy dude

Maybe you should google that instead

And keep talking to me

And since you’re getting all defensive about your age I’m gonna say 20?

            READ 12:25 PM

First of all, I made it plural because I was talking about multiple people. This is my last message. Goodbye spam.

            READ 12:27

Noooo!!! (Three different kinds of crying faces)

(Music notes) BABY COME BACK

(Music notes) YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL OOOON MEEEEEE

(Hours later)

I can’t believe this

I thought we had something special man